The Naked Scientists

The Naked Scientists Forum

Author Topic: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?  (Read 959852 times)

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3000 on: 13/05/2013 10:12:17 »

.....some sheet music ............


I didn't think it was that bad.

Sheet music
« Last Edit: 13/05/2013 10:21:37 by Don_1 »
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3001 on: 13/05/2013 13:34:54 »

.....some sheet music ............


I didn't think it was that bad.

Sheet music

Perhaps they've got it wrong, Don_1, it's "ass backwards" as we say here!
 

Offline JimBob

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6564
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3002 on: 13/05/2013 17:00:35 »
We Americans do have a great cultural asset do we not?
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3003 on: 13/05/2013 18:23:28 »

.....some sheet music ............


I didn't think it was that bad.

Sheet music

Perhaps they've got it wrong, Don_1, it's "ass backwards" as we say here!
We Americans do have a great cultural asset do we not?

A criminal's best asset is his lie ability.

« Last Edit: 13/05/2013 21:53:38 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3004 on: 13/05/2013 23:25:32 »
May 13 - May 17, 2013 is:
National Etiquette Week

Hiring a prostitute has its own etiquette.

Be sure to follow the pro to call.
« Last Edit: 13/05/2013 23:28:03 by demografx »
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3005 on: 14/05/2013 08:59:48 »
May 13 - May 17, 2013 is:
National Etiquette Week


It is always my custom to eat in the manners pertaining to the local, so it is that when eating apples I always de core 'em first.
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3006 on: 14/05/2013 09:01:41 »
May 13 - May 17, 2013 is:
National Etiquette Week

Hiring a prostitute has its own etiquette.

Be sure to follow the pro to call.


Be sure, when following a pro to call that you don't get arrested for kirb crawling.
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3007 on: 14/05/2013 09:11:00 »
When it comes to the classical arts, we quite enjoy ballet, we think it a good mode us. Opera 'nd I, however do not get on well together.
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3008 on: 14/05/2013 09:12:19 »
Right, that set a target for you Demo, a Latin pun! Beat that.

And don't be late in coming up with your response.
« Last Edit: 14/05/2013 09:14:07 by Don_1 »
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3009 on: 14/05/2013 14:16:33 »
When it comes to the classical arts, we quite enjoy ballet, we think it a good mode us. Opera 'nd I, however do not get on well together.
Right, that set a target for you Demo, a Latin pun! Beat that.

And don't be late in coming up with your response.



...proving that we don't need to be in Rome to speak as the Romans did.

by NO AUTHOR CREDITED
"Have you ever wanted to know how to converse in Latin just like the Romans did (without having to face the dangers of chariot racing)? When the kids are driving you crazy in the back seat of your car with that familiar phrase ... 'are we nearly there yet?', you can reply with grace and aplomb ... "Paene advenimus", or really impress the marvelous munchkins with your unforgettable wise words "Relinque me in pace!" (Leave me in peace!)"

« Last Edit: 15/05/2013 01:32:32 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3010 on: 14/05/2013 14:56:20 »
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3011 on: 14/05/2013 15:00:24 »



"Apudne te vel me?" -- Your place or mine?
« Last Edit: 14/05/2013 23:11:26 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3012 on: 14/05/2013 23:01:52 »
« Last Edit: 14/05/2013 23:03:49 by demografx »
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3013 on: 15/05/2013 08:18:25 »



"Apudne te vel me?" -- Your place or mine?

You have to marble marvel at this work of art.

In a modern copy made of concrete, they are depicted as having cemented their relationship.
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3014 on: 15/05/2013 08:24:37 »
At Roman games, cannibalism was sometimes witnessed. After consuming a young christian virgin the diner said he was glad he ate her.
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3015 on: 15/05/2013 08:30:47 »
Ut quicquam paradisi advolare naribus tuis.

May the Bluebird of Paradise fly up your nose.
« Last Edit: 15/05/2013 08:32:45 by Don_1 »
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3016 on: 15/05/2013 08:48:08 »
A couple of thousand years ago an ancestor of Anne (also named Ann) had the same problem with her scales, she just couldn't 'La' quite right. Ignatius was a well known vocal coach who gave her some training, but it seems to no availe.

One day she was caught making an awful noise as she practiced her scales before performing for the Emperor. "Call Ig, you La terrible." said a disgruntled senator.
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3017 on: 15/05/2013 08:54:50 »
A favourite weapon of some gladiators was the talons of birds of prey.

Christians who were about to die by this terrible means were made to stand in the arena
and announce to the Emperor, "By claw die us this day".
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3018 on: 15/05/2013 09:09:00 »
A Centurion was bringing a young christian virgin slave for duties in the royal household. As she broke free of his grip and made a run for freedom, the Centurion called to the Emperor Augustus "Seize her!"
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3019 on: 15/05/2013 09:18:20 »
I was looking at some motor scooters when a salesman said, "Hello Sir, my name is Ian, is there anything I can help you with?"

I said, "Yes, actually there is, I have looked at the Lambrettas and the Peugeots, but where are the Vespas Ian?"

I must confess that hadr Ian not helped me I would never have found them. But then that is what salesmen are for, to server us.

He offered me a drink and asked if I wanted anything to eat. I said, "I wouldn't mind a cup of tea and a gord, Ian."

A pestering wasp was flying around my gourd, so Ian set about it with no concern for getting himself stung. At last the wasp fell to the ground. I exclaimed "By Jove Ian, you handled the situation with great Valer Ian."

He had dropped the magazine he had used to deal the fatal blow to the wasp, so I picked it up, handed it to him and asked, "Is this your Maxim Ian?"

Ian then said he would take me to the Vespas, saying, "There're not far, in fact they are quite nero."


One must always ceaser the opportunity to link one's puns.
« Last Edit: 15/05/2013 09:44:06 by Don_1 »
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3020 on: 15/05/2013 09:21:36 »
The senator said to his wife, "Its no good, we'll not get the money for this project, the Emperor's tit as as ducks ass."
« Last Edit: 15/05/2013 09:46:39 by Don_1 »
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3021 on: 15/05/2013 09:48:42 »
Here endeth the puns for now, but I shall be roman around looking for more.
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3022 on: 15/05/2013 11:01:19 »
A couple of thousand years ago an ancestor of Anne (also named Ann) had the same problem with her scales, she just couldn't 'La' quite right. Ignatius was a well known vocal coach who gave her some training, but it seems to no availe.

One day she was caught making an awful noise as she practiced her scales before performing for the Emperor. "Call Ig, you La terrible." said a disgruntled senator.

Herewith: Ann's "La" captured (simulated) by Hollywood Pet Food Actress, Beyonce II, in this amazing News Flash from The Guardian!

« Last Edit: 17/05/2013 14:00:16 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3023 on: 15/05/2013 11:03:52 »



"Apudne te vel me?" -- Your place or mine?

You have to marble marvel at this work of art.

In a modern copy made of concrete, they are depicted as having cemented their relationship.
At Roman games, cannibalism was sometimes witnessed. After consuming a young christian virgin the diner said he was glad he ate her.
Ut quicquam paradisi advolare naribus tuis.

May the Bluebird of Paradise fly up your nose.
A couple of thousand years ago an ancestor of Anne (also named Ann) had the same problem with her scales, she just couldn't 'La' quite right. Ignatius was a well known vocal coach who gave her some training, but it seems to no availe.

One day she was caught making an awful noise as she practiced her scales before performing for the Emperor. "Call Ig, you La terrible." said a disgruntled senator.
A favourite weapon of some gladiators was the talons of birds of prey.

Christians who were about to die by this terrible means were made to stand in the arena
and announce to the Emperor, "By claw die us this day".
A Centurion was bringing a young christian virgin slave for duties in the royal household. As she broke free of his grip and made a run for freedom, the Centurion called to the Emperor Augustus "Seize her!"
I was looking at some motor scooters when a salesman said, "Hello Sir, my name is Ian, is there anything I can help you with?"

I said, "Yes, actually there is, I have looked at the Lambrettas and the Peugeots, but where are the Vespas Ian?"

I must confess that hadr Ian not helped me I would never have found them. But then that is what salesmen are for, to server us.

He offered me a drink and asked if I wanted anything to eat. I said, "I wouldn't mind a cup of tea and a gord, Ian."

A pestering wasp was flying around my gourd, so Ian set about it with no concern for getting himself stung. At last the wasp fell to the ground. I exclaimed "By Jove Ian, you handled the situation with great Valer Ian."

He had dropped the magazine he had used to deal the fatal blow to the wasp, so I picked it up, handed it to him and asked, "Is this your Maxim Ian?"

Ian then said he would take me to the Vespas, saying, "There're not far, in fact they are quite nero."


One must always ceaser the opportunity to link one's puns.
The senator said to his wife, "Its no good, we'll not get the money for this project, the Emperor's tit as as ducks ass."
Here endeth the puns for now, but I shall be roman around looking for more.

=     =     =     =     =     =     =     =     =     =     =

Don_1 handily wins this Punning Award: a round-trip, all-expenses-paid Gladiator's Special Punning Tour of the Roman Empire! Sponsored by Jules Verne Aviation, LLC and First Class seating accomodations with Epsilon Airlines

You will stay at the luxurious Mabor Hotel

Don't forget to BYOTGAOP (Bring Your Own Toga, Grapes and Orgy Partners).

BYOTGAOP Budgetary issue: see Awards Committee

=     =     =     =     =     =     =     =     =     =     =

« Last Edit: 17/05/2013 02:25:43 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3024 on: 15/05/2013 20:44:19 »

Ian then said he would take me to the Vespas, saying, "There're not far, in fact they are quite nero."

« Last Edit: 15/05/2013 21:13:01 by demografx »
 

The Naked Scientists Forum

Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3024 on: 15/05/2013 20:44:19 »

 

SMF 2.0.10 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines
SMFAds for Free Forums
 
Login
Login with username, password and session length