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Author Topic: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?  (Read 955996 times)

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3475 on: 07/12/2013 10:11:11 »
I don't want to bring back painful memories, so I'll take care to tread carefully and try not to stare at you.
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3476 on: 07/12/2013 10:15:31 »
I thought we needed a young lad 'ere to help Demo climb, so I rung the hospital.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3477 on: 07/12/2013 18:52:47 »
Ah! Good old Fred Astair, they don't make 'em like that any more, it seems to be escalat or be damned.

I had amnesia and couldn't remember how to walk up the stairs, so I had to go back and learn step by step.
I'm surprised you remember that.

Did you ask your therapist "Am knees 'ere the best option when stair climbing?"

I did.

My therapist's reply:

"Forget it!"



« Last Edit: 07/12/2013 21:42:58 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3478 on: 07/12/2013 19:00:14 »
I thought we needed a young lad 'ere to help Demo climb, so I rung the hospital.

This reminds me of the time when I was up high on a ladder and I saw a beautiful girl below.

I fell for her.


« Last Edit: 07/12/2013 21:05:11 by demografx »
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3479 on: 07/12/2013 22:48:57 »

I fell for her.


I hope you didn't damage your ardour!!!!
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3480 on: 07/12/2013 22:50:20 »

I fell for her.


I hope you didn't damage your ardour!!!!

So very sorry, that's got nothing to do with punning, that's just plain & simple smut.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3481 on: 07/12/2013 22:55:58 »
That's perfectly all right.

My ardor is intact ;D
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3482 on: 07/12/2013 22:58:13 »
Ego: only slightly bruised :)
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3483 on: 07/12/2013 23:36:13 »
I thought we needed a young lad 'ere to help Demo climb, so I rung the hospital.

Hmmm. That has a familiar ring to it.

I'm not sure if I've heard that hospital chime before, but it rings a bell.


« Last Edit: 07/12/2013 23:44:59 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3484 on: 07/12/2013 23:54:16 »
Ring Ring!

 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3485 on: 08/12/2013 00:39:44 »
Good gracious! Its a jellyphone. Must be for the hard of hearing............
"Look, you'll have to speak up, I'm a triffle deaf."
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3486 on: 08/12/2013 00:42:05 »
That's perfectly all right.

My ardor is intact ;D

My ardour is in tact too, but it is a tad softer these days.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3487 on: 08/12/2013 05:38:10 »
That's perfectly all right.

My ardor is intact ;D

My ardour is in tact too, but it is a tad softer these days.

I once got hit in the head with a can of soda.

I was lucky it was a soft drink.

 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3488 on: 08/12/2013 15:26:03 »
So da can be bad for your teeth.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3489 on: 08/12/2013 16:45:27 »
ENGLISH:ENGLISH TRANSLATION 101


That's perfectly all right.

My ardor [US] is intact

My ardour [UK] is in tact...

« Last Edit: 08/12/2013 17:21:49 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3490 on: 08/12/2013 17:10:50 »
So da can be bad for your teeth.



« Last Edit: 08/12/2013 17:14:11 by demografx »
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3491 on: 08/12/2013 23:08:37 »
I had a soft drink while catching up on the ironing.

It was soda pressing.


« Last Edit: 08/12/2013 23:10:20 by demografx »
 

Offline bizerl

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3492 on: 08/12/2013 23:25:25 »
Ah! Good old Fred Astair, they don't make 'em like that any more, it seems to be escalat or be damned.

Thanks Don, that pun gave me a real lift.

Did you know if you give a duck soda, they become forever pheasant?
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3493 on: 09/12/2013 00:07:45 »

 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3494 on: 09/12/2013 11:23:55 »

Did you know if you give a duck soda, they become forever pheasant?


Yes indeed, but they don't half grouse about it.
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3495 on: 09/12/2013 11:36:51 »
I had a soft drink while catching up on the ironing.

It was soda pressing.




I hope you met all the chalanges this requires and when you were done you put it in the airing cupboard. You'd better have made a good job of it, Mrs Demo will not be pleased if there are steel creases in the clothes.

The last time I did some ironing, I was getting it all wrong and began to sweat profusely. The missus hurled expletives at me, saying "You're a tit an' u hum". She then gave a clip around the ear and my arse a nick.

This was blatant husband beating, so I called the coppers.
« Last Edit: 09/12/2013 11:50:17 by Don_1 »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3496 on: 09/12/2013 11:53:54 »
Ah! Good old Fred Astair, they don't make 'em like that any more, it seems to be escalat or be damned.

Thanks Don, that pun gave me a real lift.


I see it as my job to elevat or be damned.
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3497 on: 09/12/2013 11:55:46 »
I had a soft drink while catching up on the ironing.

It was soda pressing.




Tip for the day.

If you feel depressed you need deep rest.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3498 on: 09/12/2013 17:42:17 »



« Last Edit: 24/01/2014 05:26:57 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3499 on: 09/12/2013 20:34:42 »
I had a soft drink while catching up on the ironing.

It was soda pressing.




I hope you met all the chalanges this requires and when you were done you put it in the airing cupboard. You'd better have made a good job of it, Mrs Demo will not be pleased if there are steel creases in the clothes.

The last time I did some ironing, I was getting it all wrong and began to sweat profusely. The missus hurled expletives at me, saying "You're a tit an' u hum". She then gave a clip around the ear and my arse a nick.

This was blatant husband beating, so I called the coppers.

Don_1 wins yet another Irony Ironing Award!! <applause cue to freebie audience!>

« Last Edit: 10/12/2013 23:49:35 by demografx »
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3499 on: 09/12/2013 20:34:42 »

 

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