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Author Topic: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?  (Read 962621 times)

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3500 on: 10/12/2013 23:52:37 »

Mrs Demo will not be pleased if there are steel creases in the clothes.


Mrs Demo bought this drum for a great price, it was a steel.





« Last Edit: 11/12/2013 00:56:12 by demografx »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3501 on: 14/12/2013 14:10:23 »
Curses! Mrs Demo beat me to it. Now I feel ensnared into replying. Of course you ket tle sorts of drums down tim pani alley, where I understand Mrs Demo aquired this drum. After some time browsing she said
"I've cym ball the drums available and now, as per cousin Cedric's advice have made my choice."
As she entered the shop, the sales man said,
"Hi, can I help you?"
Mrs Demo said,
"Hi that drum there, I would like to buy it for my old git husband. He will be playing it at a farewell party for his sister before she goes to the West Indies."
The salesman said,
"Jamaica?"
"No," retorted Mrs Demo, "She's going of her own accord."
"How did you find us Mrs Demo?"
"It was easy, I thought oil look you up on my tom-tom."
"Why don't you gar min to the office while wrap the drum?" Better still, I'll put it in a box. We don't the drum to roll away when you put it down.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3502 on: 14/12/2013 21:01:01 »
Curses! Mrs Demo beat me to it. Now I feel ensnared into replying. Of course you ket tle sorts of drums down tim pani alley, where I understand Mrs Demo aquired this drum. After some time browsing she said
"I've cym ball the drums available and now, as per cousin Cedric's advice have made my choice."
As she entered the shop, the sales man said,
"Hi, can I help you?"
Mrs Demo said,
"Hi that drum there, I would like to buy it for my old git husband. He will be playing it at a farewell party for his sister before she goes to the West Indies."
The salesman said,
"Jamaica?"
"No," retorted Mrs Demo, "She's going of her own accord."
"How did you find us Mrs Demo?"
"It was easy, I thought oil look you up on my tom-tom."
"Why don't you gar min to the office while wrap the drum?" Better still, I'll put it in a box. We don't the drum to roll away when you put it down.

Don_1 wins this T-Shirt Award for Punning Excellence in the Drum Banging Dept.!

 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3503 on: 17/12/2013 07:03:13 »

As per cousin Cedric's advice I have made my choice."


The consequence of playing drums often is re-percussions.


« Last Edit: 17/12/2013 07:06:35 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3504 on: 17/12/2013 07:22:55 »

"Jamaica?"
"No," retorted Mrs Demo, "She's going of her own accord."








« Last Edit: 24/01/2014 06:07:05 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3505 on: 19/12/2013 22:36:32 »
Tomorrow, December 20, is:
National Sangria Day
http://www.nationalsangriaday.com/

Sangria is a blood color. (Sangre means blood!)

We need math, not Sangria! (That's how to get an A+ blood reading) :)


« Last Edit: 19/12/2013 22:40:07 by demografx »
 

Offline bizerl

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3506 on: 19/12/2013 22:58:05 »
If you pass out during a blood transfusion, you need rhesusitation. Then people send you a card(io) and flowers in a vase(cular).
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3507 on: 19/12/2013 23:21:45 »
If you pass out during a blood transfusion, you need rhesusitation. Then people send you a card(io) and flowers in a vase(cular).

Some cardiologists are heartless.

 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3508 on: 23/12/2013 10:43:14 »
My chiropodist is foot loose & fancy free. Alas 'free' does not, however, describe his treatment.
 

Offline alancalverd

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3509 on: 23/12/2013 17:01:56 »
Does he play footnotes on a shoehorn? Or is that a load of old cobblers?
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3510 on: 23/12/2013 22:27:23 »
My chiropodist is foot loose & fancy free. Alas 'free' does not, however, describe his treatment.

How absurd! He expects you to foot the bill???
[:0]
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3511 on: 24/12/2013 04:30:48 »
Does he play footnotes on a shoehorn? Or is that a load of old cobblers?

A Demonic Cat Cobbler

« Last Edit: 24/12/2013 04:32:49 by demografx »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3512 on: 24/12/2013 08:08:20 »
My chiropodist is foot loose & fancy free. Alas 'free' does not, however, describe his treatment.

How absurd! He expects you to foot the bill???
[:0]

Not only that, he expects me to toe the line.

I don't want to play ball with him any more, hee'l only let me down.
« Last Edit: 24/12/2013 08:15:33 by Don_1 »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3513 on: 24/12/2013 08:09:38 »
Does he play footnotes on a shoehorn? Or is that a load of old cobblers?

No, no, its quite true, and very soleful he plays to boot.

His music can be very toe nail.

He does expect other players to keep in step with him.
« Last Edit: 24/12/2013 08:16:32 by Don_1 »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3514 on: 24/12/2013 08:18:55 »
He has always said, his favourite composer is Schubert.

He will always play a piece by him toe cap off a gig.

Yes, he is, without doubt, a very straight laced person.
« Last Edit: 24/12/2013 08:22:20 by Don_1 »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3515 on: 24/12/2013 08:38:14 »
Eye let you add to the above puns as you see fit, just don't poke your tongue out at me.

As for myself, I'm off for the Xmas holidays to restock my pun cupboard. Though there may be many a pun lurking in the dark corners, the fact is, they don't last forever.

So I bid you a happy Xmas holiday and a puntificacious new year. May your God(s) be with you.

Hohoho...........
 

Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3516 on: 24/12/2013 21:18:26 »
Arch you putting a stocking up for Santa?
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3517 on: 27/12/2013 07:37:23 »

Arch you putting a stocking up for Santa?


I think Santa has riverfront property in Brazil.

All my presents came from Amazon this year.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3518 on: 27/12/2013 21:58:06 »
My chiropodist is foot loose & fancy free. Alas 'free' does not, however, describe his treatment.

How absurd! He expects you to foot the bill???
[:0]

Not only that, he expects me to toe the line.

I don't want to play ball with him any more, hee'l only let me down.

We all kneel to your decision!

« Last Edit: 27/12/2013 21:59:55 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3519 on: 27/12/2013 22:07:39 »
Does he play footnotes on a shoe horn? Or is that a load of old cobblers?


He has always said, his favourite composer is Schubert.


But they say that Schumann is da mann.


« Last Edit: 27/12/2013 22:11:28 by demografx »
 

Offline Donnah

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3520 on: 31/12/2013 20:22:01 »
My friend, Diatrist, doesn't have a note to his name.  Po' Diatrist.
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3521 on: 02/01/2014 01:46:40 »
My friend, Diatrist, doesn't have a note to his name.  Po' Diatrist.

Po'Diatrist = Convicted Saudi shop lifter who must eat from a gazunder.
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3522 on: 02/01/2014 01:49:32 »
Does he play footnotes on a shoe horn? Or is that a load of old cobblers?


He has always said, his favourite composer is Schubert.


But they say that Schumann is da mann.




Schu maker
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3523 on: 02/01/2014 01:53:08 »
Quote from Paris:
"Aye kill his heel".
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3524 on: 02/01/2014 01:54:57 »
Happy new year to one & all.

Now, let's all have a new year punch up!
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3524 on: 02/01/2014 01:54:57 »

 

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