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Author Topic: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?  (Read 960848 times)

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3925 on: 19/08/2014 00:25:44 »


Is he the turbanator?


All these puns about turbans are making me Sikh.

Oh I know what you mean. Its my neighbour who is to blame, the one with all the cats.
Buddah not to worry, his time is about due, I'm going to muzzle him, the silly old cat-a-holic. I'll creep up from behind do it and scarper before he cries t' Ian for help. It wont be until I slam the door behind me that he will be able to page Anna for help.

Don_1 easily walks away with The Supreme Multi-Religious Tolerance Award of the Century !!



 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3926 on: 19/08/2014 10:07:22 »

Don_1 easily walks away with The Supreme Multi-Religious Tolerance Award of the Century !!





How magnanimous of you. I trust there will be an Award Ceremony; I should like Anna's uncles to come with their wives so I can give to all 'er aunts a gift.
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3927 on: 19/08/2014 10:31:13 »
British comic Tim Vine, who already holds the record for the most jokes cracked in an hour, has yet again delivered the funniest joke of the Edinburgh Festival.
In 2010  his crack "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again." won him the accolade, this year he walked away the award again with this one-liner: "I decided to sell my Hoover... well it was just collecting dust."
Well done Tim.
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3928 on: 19/08/2014 10:43:55 »
Today is National Aviation Day.

So we should all get off to a flying start, not just try to get by on a wing and a prayer.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3929 on: 19/08/2014 14:03:24 »
Today is National Aviation Day.

So we should all get off to a flying start, not just try to get by on a wing and a prayer.

Don't expect to eat something fancy when you're flying because it's plane food.
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3930 on: 20/08/2014 10:14:38 »
Today is National Aviation Day.

So we should all get off to a flying start, not just try to get by on a wing and a prayer.

Don't expect to eat something fancy when you're flying because it's plane food.


I had the baguette with a jumbo sausage.

Tea & coffee was served in a china cup on a flying saucer.
« Last Edit: 20/08/2014 10:18:17 by Don_1 »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3931 on: 21/08/2014 02:41:22 »
Today is National Aviation Day.

So we should all get off to a flying start, not just try to get by on a wing and a prayer.

Don't expect to eat something fancy when you're flying because it's plane food.


I had the baguette with a jumbo sausage.

Tea & coffee was served in a china cup on a flying saucer.

But -- upon landing/arrival -- no Free Saucer Ride??? Hmph...next time I'll just fly in a private plane! (I have a pilot friend in the UK who might let me fly with him -- AND HIS INSTRUCTOR!!!)






« Last Edit: 21/08/2014 17:39:45 by demografx »
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3932 on: 21/08/2014 22:07:10 »

 (I have a pilot friend in the UK who might let me fly with him -- AND HIS INSTRUCTOR!!!)


 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3933 on: 22/08/2014 01:35:57 »

 (I have a pilot friend in the UK who might let me fly with him -- AND HIS INSTRUCTOR!!!)




I'm ready!

Volunteer #1 from Punning Thread!

Living will/trust modified to date!!

 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3934 on: 25/08/2014 05:18:20 »


Well, sort of textbook landing, but for one point.


Oh, c'mon, that's close enough!

Don't be such a pairfectionist!
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3935 on: 25/08/2014 05:26:38 »


Today is National Aviation Day.


I just don't get puns about aviation.

They're usually way over my head.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3936 on: 26/08/2014 05:18:30 »


Don_1, she is annaticipating your gift and celebration!

Don't keep her in suspense!

No word from you .

Now she is annaoyed!


 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3937 on: 26/08/2014 11:15:03 »
So sorry for the delay, but I have been pondering what might be a suitable gift.

I ruled out a life size model of Noah's boat as I fear she might be the cause of a mutiny. We can do without any Ann arky.
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3938 on: 26/08/2014 11:22:27 »
I have settled on this for her:


Now she will be able to annalyse things.
« Last Edit: 26/08/2014 11:25:44 by Don_1 »
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3939 on: 26/08/2014 23:44:40 »
But...but...but....all that focus could make her...annal !
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3940 on: 27/08/2014 00:01:49 »
Besides, too much annalysis leads to paralysis!
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3941 on: 27/08/2014 04:16:31 »
I have settled on this for her:


Now she will be able to annalyse things.

Silly move, Don_1: now she will find out if there really is any chemistry between you two!

Oh well, you can always have a "Nice To Know You" finale/dinner/ahem at The Three Cups Hotel!

Bon nuit!
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3942 on: 27/08/2014 09:44:50 »

Silly move, Don_1: now she will find out if there really is any chemistry between you two!

Bon nuit!

Oh my! I hadn't considered that might be the reaction. It could cause all salts of problems.

Perhaps I should get her a new car instead. Her's got damaged while racing with a friend. She got pasted to the wall when, accidentally of course, passing at some speed Anna clipt her off side rear bumper (US = fender).

Yes, that's it, I've cracked it. I'll give her the keys and say "Here's your new car Bon voyage.

What clever little sod I um.
« Last Edit: 27/08/2014 09:46:59 by Don_1 »
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3943 on: 27/08/2014 09:58:45 »
In an effort to conserve energy, I have devised a means of lighting the house during the long winter nights, with an exercise rowing machine.
I call it the nit ro generator.
But I must find a way to stop the cat from chlorine at the cables.
Also I need to find the optimum seat position, cause man g knees get achy with all that pedalling.
Once I iron out the details I'll give a full report in what I hope will be a post which wont be boron the pants off one & all.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3944 on: 27/08/2014 18:22:18 »

Silly move, Don_1: now she will find out if there really is any chemistry between you two!

Bon nuit!

Oh my! I hadn't considered that might be the reaction. It could cause all salts of problems.

Perhaps I should get her a new car instead. Her's got damaged while racing with a friend. She got pasted to the wall when, accidentally of course, passing at some speed Anna clipt her off side rear bumper (US = fender).

Yes, that's it, I've cracked it. I'll give her the keys and say "Here's your new car Bon voyage.

What clever little sod I um.
In an effort to conserve energy, I have devised a means of lighting the house during the long winter nights, with an exercise rowing machine.
I call it the nit ro generator.
But I must find a way to stop the cat from chlorine at the cables.
Also I need to find the optimum seat position, cause man g knees get achy with all that pedalling.
Once I iron out the details I'll give a full report in what I hope will be a post which wont be boron the pants off one & all.


I don't have the slightest clue how Don_1 manages to rack up so many awards. Now a Chemistry Award !! The Award Committee will go broke if this keeps up !



 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3945 on: 27/08/2014 20:14:33 »

Silly move, Don_1: now she will find out if there really is any chemistry between you two!

Bon nuit!

Oh my! I hadn't considered that might be the reaction. It could cause all salts of problems.

Perhaps I should get her a new car instead. Her's got damaged while racing with a friend. She got pasted to the wall when, accidentally of course, passing at some speed Anna clipt her off side rear bumper (US = fender).

Yes, that's it, I've cracked it. I'll give her the keys and say "Here's your new car Bon voyage.

What clever little sod I um.

Oh, c'mon, Don_1, can't you do better than THIS????






« Last Edit: 27/08/2014 21:48:07 by demografx »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3946 on: 28/08/2014 15:15:51 »

Oh, c'mon, Don_1, can't you do better than THIS????




Indeed yes I can do better than that.

That's only a toy ota, I'm going to get a real ota.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3947 on: 28/08/2014 19:05:22 »

That's only a toy ota, I'm going to get a real ota.


You're right. I ota know more about these things!
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3948 on: 28/08/2014 21:25:05 »

That's only a toy ota, I'm going to get a real ota.


You're right. I ota know more about these things!

But I haven't an iota of a clue how to learn.

« Last Edit: 28/08/2014 23:04:35 by demografx »
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3949 on: 29/08/2014 10:14:55 »
Then I shall give you a clue - 3.

If you need some iota, take letter 3 and add 3, thus:
t + 3 = w. Therefore iota - t + w = Iowa

You must enrol at the Iowa State University department for the clueless, just as I did.
Do yourself a favour (US = favour), don't mention my name to the bursar, because I owe 'er some money.

I am thinking of getting all new teeth implants. I have chosen a dental practice in Boston to fit this new mass of chew sets.

I have laid a new multi coloured random pattern carpet. this helps the flor 'ide a heap of sins.

The wife has starched my shirt. I asked her not to do it again because it makes the collar 'ard, o.

The father of the bride thought he would give his daughter one last chance to change her mind. He thought 'As we walk down the aisle ask 'er if she is doing the right thing'.

The current state of affairs around the world seems to bring nothing but Missouri to innocent defenceless people.

Walking around the antique shop, my eye was caught by a large ceramic pot. "Why o ming vase!" I exclaimed.
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #3949 on: 29/08/2014 10:14:55 »

 

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