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Author Topic: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?  (Read 957380 times)

Offline JimBob

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #425 on: 11/08/2010 03:08:10 »
Only if you have a permit - or license.
 

Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #426 on: 11/08/2010 05:07:10 »
In order to be totally cleared of the embarrassment, one must not use tea bags. They are so "lower class." But on occasion we all sacrifice tradition for convenience.

But alas, the Americanization of teas purchased from Harrisons & Crosfield is complete. Their website is described their teas thus: "Harrisons & Crosfield teas are unique as they are blended in England to renowned British tea industry quality levels & American tastes ..."

And this "Twinings English Classic Cold Brewed" just does not sound British. No way, no how.

OH! The ignomy of it all, the shame!

(ignomy - Shakespearean spelling - not the new-fangled cra*py way the pundits have abused it)

Exoneration? - NAY! I say, NAY!

Excriment-aion - most likely. (That is the pun in this post)

Silly fellow.

Unless you happen to have a hyperbaric chamber, you can't make proper tea in Austin. You can't get the water hot enough at that elevation.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #427 on: 11/08/2010 19:30:35 »

Silly fellow.

Unless you happen to have a hyperbaric chamber, you can't make proper tea in Austin. You can't get the water hot enough at that elevation.


Thanks, Geezer, I was having trouble beating up on him all by myself.

Besides, couldn't JB just go here?


               

                 Elevation Burger
9828 Great Hills Trail, Austin, Texarse 78759-6391
                  (512) 608-4054

 

Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #428 on: 11/08/2010 23:35:41 »

Silly fellow.

Unless you happen to have a hyperbaric chamber, you can't make proper tea in Austin. You can't get the water hot enough at that elevation.


Thanks, Geezer, I was having trouble beating up on him all by myself.

Besides, couldn't JB just go here?


               

                 Elevation Burger
9828 Great Hills Trail, Austin, Texarse 78759-6391
                  (512) 608-4054



No. He'd need to go spelunking instead.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #429 on: 12/08/2010 00:27:17 »

Yes! I do see the Cave Man thinking style!
 

Offline JimBob

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #430 on: 12/08/2010 04:42:01 »

Silly fellow.

Unless you happen to have a hyperbaric chamber, you can't make proper tea in Austin. You can't get the water hot enough at that elevation.


Thanks, Geezer, I was having trouble beating up on him all by myself.

Besides, couldn't JB just go here?


               

                 Elevation Burger
9828 Great Hills Trail, Austin, Texarse 78759-6391
                  (512) 608-4054 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting              (512) 608-4054      end_of_the_skype_highlighting



No. He'd need to go spelunking instead.

Yes! I do see the Cave Man thinking style!


Elevation Burger?? That is like going to McDonald's for gourmet coffee!

--------------------

Thanks for pointing this out, Demo. I do see Geezer's caveman thinking style.

As for whether I can boil a decent cup of tea, well pardon me, sir, BUT I believe you are the one who cannot get the water hot enough, miserable Scottish outcast. At your home, the altitude is 680 meters or 2231 feet. I live at 265 meters (869 feet) Thus to make a proper cup of tea I need heat my water to the astounding temperature of 210.460 F, (99.145 C) whereas you, the skirt wearing crotchety old man in the Selkirk's, must only heat your pot to the ridiculously low temperature 208.015 F (97.786 C)

Considering this, it is self-evident that tea I make will be much, more close to a proper cup of tea than anything said Geezer makes.

(who says we are not scientists here???)

Besides, has anyone ever tried to swallow a mouthful of the despised, contemptible, mean, vile, Scottish Breakfast Tea??? It is the most unpleasant tea to which I have ever subjected myself. It is what I imagine it would be like taste the fresh cut wool from the loins of an un-neutered sire ram. The Scottish Breakfast tea was available for a short while several years ago in a red box but Twinings had the good sense to discontinue this travesty. Taylors of Harrogate has yet to see the error of their ways.

And the two of you - FOR SHAME! & Tisk, tisk. - trying to outdo the master. Hurmph! The sink-holes riddling the karsts of your minds has caused your brains to become like Swiss cheese. Spelunking in those karts would like be wading in a cesspool

Don't Mess With Texas!!

« Last Edit: 12/08/2010 04:49:47 by JimBob »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #431 on: 12/08/2010 08:09:24 »


Don't Mess With Texas!!




            
« Last Edit: 12/08/2010 08:21:47 by demografx »
 

Offline Variola

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #432 on: 12/08/2010 08:10:45 »
Quote
As for whether I can boil a decent cup of tea, well pardon me, sir, BUT I believe you are the one who cannot get the water hot enough, miserable Scottish outcast. At your home, the altitude is 680 meters or 2231 feet. I live at 265 meters (869 feet) Thus to make a proper cup of tea I need heat my water to the astounding temperature of 210.460 F, (99.145 C) whereas you, the skirt wearing crotchety old man in the Selkirk's, must only heat your pot to the ridiculously low temperature 208.015 F (97.786 C)
 

Jambib, you need to get out more....  ::)


Quote
(who says we are not scientists here???)

Me..... you are a rock-hugger, that isn't science, in your case it is more like paraphilia  :P

Quote
It is the most unpleasant tea to which I have ever subjected myself. It is what I imagine it would be like taste the fresh cut wool from the loins of an un-neutered sire ram.   

What has Neil been sending ewe???  :o





 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #433 on: 12/08/2010 08:19:04 »


Quote
(who says we are not scientists here???)


Me..... you are a rock-hugger, that isn't science, in your case it is more like paraphilia  :P


Petraphilia is legal in Texas. Or did you mean paraphernalia?? [:0]
 

Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #434 on: 12/08/2010 20:03:33 »

Petraphilia is legal in Texas. Or did you mean paraphernalia?? [:0]


Well, as Yogi Berra says,

"There's nothing wrong with a bit of incest, as long as you keep it in the family."
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #435 on: 12/08/2010 21:11:48 »

Rocks are family???
 

Offline Make it Lady

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #436 on: 12/08/2010 22:21:30 »
I am in Scotland this week and boy, can they make a cup of tea. They use actual leaves and not scummy tea bags. The most important thing about Tea making is the water and in the North of this wonderful isle it is the best. I climbed Ben Nevis this week and Tea tastes so much better when you've earnt it. So JimBob you need to climb a few mountains in order to appreciate real Tea.
 

Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #437 on: 12/08/2010 22:34:05 »
I am in Scotland this week and boy, can they make a cup of tea. They use actual leaves and not scummy tea bags. The most important thing about Tea making is the water and in the North of this wonderful isle it is the best. I climbed Ben Nevis this week and Tea tastes so much better when you've earnt it. So JimBob you need to climb a few mountains in order to appreciate real Tea.

My mum was a true officianado of the art. Her fav. was Typhoo - and never in bags.

On one famous occasion in the South of France, she was so pissed off because she couldn't get a decent cup of tea that she went behind the bar in a cafe and showed the bartender how to make it!

I imagine there was still a bit of snow on Ben Nevis this year. It's a dangerous place. The weather can get very ugly in no time at all.
 

Offline Make it Lady

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #438 on: 12/08/2010 22:37:50 »
We have had beautiful weather in Scotland this week. I had a 180 degree view at the top of Ben and it was sunny for 60% of the climb. No Snow at all due to climate change. I have a large blister and my muscles don't work any more!
 

Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #439 on: 12/08/2010 22:54:36 »


whereas you, the skirt wearing crotchety old man in the Selkirk's, must only heat your pot to the ridiculously low temperature 208.015 F (97.786 C)



Well, a real geeholergist would know that I live in "the gem state" (unlike "the bull-puckey state" aka Texarse) and that there are a lot of mines here, so I always descend to 50 feet above sea level at tea time.
 

Offline JimBob

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #440 on: 13/08/2010 00:36:14 »


whereas you, the skirt wearing crotchety old man in the Selkirk's, must only heat your pot to the ridiculously low temperature 208.015 F (97.786 C)



Well, a real geeholergist would know that I live in "the gem state" (unlike "the bull-puckey state" aka Texarse) and that there are a lot of mines here, so I always descend to 50 feet above sea level at tea time.

RRRRIIIIGGGGHHHHTTTT  !!!!!

Like I really believe that (snicker!)
 

Offline JimBob

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #441 on: 13/08/2010 00:39:37 »


whereas you, the skirt wearing crotchety old man in the Selkirk's, must only heat your pot to the ridiculously low temperature 208.015 F (97.786 C)



Well, a real geeholergist would know that I live in "the gem state" (unlike "the bull-puckey state" aka Texarse) and that there are a lot of mines here, so I always descend to 50 feet above sea level at tea time.

The Lone Star State, for your information.

And how can Scottish Breakfast tea be even compared to any other real black tea??

Petrophilia gets your rocks off!
 

Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #442 on: 13/08/2010 02:28:08 »


whereas you, the skirt wearing crotchety old man in the Selkirk's, must only heat your pot to the ridiculously low temperature 208.015 F (97.786 C)



Well, a real geeholergist would know that I live in "the gem state" (unlike "the bull-puckey state" aka Texarse) and that there are a lot of mines here, so I always descend to 50 feet above sea level at tea time.

The Lone Star State, for your information.

And how can Scottish Breakfast tea be even compared to any other real black tea??

Petrophilia gets your rocks off!

Are you busting my stones?


Ah yes. Willie Nelson is the lone star of Texarse.
« Last Edit: 13/08/2010 02:46:57 by Geezer »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #443 on: 13/08/2010 03:03:16 »

Petrophilia gets your rocks off!


Are you busting my stones?



                             
« Last Edit: 13/08/2010 03:08:28 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #444 on: 13/08/2010 03:07:11 »


Ah yes. Willie Nelson is the lone star of Texarse.


What about this Texas policewoman? Just a Dolly P. wannabe?

                
« Last Edit: 13/08/2010 03:10:40 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #445 on: 13/08/2010 03:13:13 »


[Reporting from Scotland!]

I have a large blister


OK, OK, I won't ask where...

 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #446 on: 13/08/2010 03:38:12 »

« Last Edit: 13/08/2010 03:44:08 by demografx »
 

Offline JimBob

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #447 on: 13/08/2010 04:59:04 »
Hot off the wire!

8-12-2010
Austin, TX
Reuters
By Tom Jones

Speaking at his home, the the Speaker of the House's Apartment in the Capital of Texas building,
JimBob was asked about the article concerning a imaginary "feud" between his state and the state of Idaho which appeared in the notoriously erroneous "Punning Times," also know a the flagship name in liberal Yellow Journalism. We quote the most cogent of his very erudite comments.
 
"Now, the nuclear option was not on the board because the sanctions are working. Yet the interference of the liberal press in this matter is causing concern to our Department of State. We disavow all actions and libelous statements made by the worrisome rag and reject any unilateral action on our part.

"We obviously are superior to the man in the Catholic school-girl uniform skirt. We need not defend ourselves."


BESIDES

Demo has too much time on his hands! Doesn't he have a job or a hobby?  What about getting him a pet fish? Can he be trusted with the care of a dog? Bloody hell, what is wrong with this agitator?????? 

It is time for us to seek a home for this elderly, misanthropic troublemaker.

« Last Edit: 13/08/2010 05:01:20 by JimBob »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #448 on: 13/08/2010 05:59:18 »
                



This just in from CNN!
Friday the 13th, 2010

JimBob arrested outside his House/Home/Apartment for outrageously libelous statements made in the press against St. Demografx, the very first individual ever canonized while still alive.

Police Staff Sgt. M. I. Bigg, Austin PD CKU (Carnal Knowledge Unit), shown above, says she has nothing but contempt for JimBob, who refused to show a good ol' boy Texan-resisting-arrest struggle which she patiently awaited while JB simply allowed the strip-search procedure to go without a struggle. Harrumph!
« Last Edit: 13/08/2010 18:18:00 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #449 on: 13/08/2010 18:40:43 »



Finally, a Claim To Fame
for JimBob's Beloved Austin, TX!!

That's where the World Punning Championship is held!
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #449 on: 13/08/2010 18:40:43 »

 

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