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Author Topic: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?  (Read 958903 times)

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4275 on: 29/01/2015 09:34:38 »
Today is Thomas Crapper Day.

Celebrations will include...playing poker, in the hope of getting a Royal Flush.




Wow!!!

What a royal flush!

In that loo, your clasp ades your isotomic lubrication of what might otherwise be dire Monday noises you
might hear too loudly.


Lets just hope nothing snaps off!
« Last Edit: 29/01/2015 09:40:25 by Don_1 »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4276 on: 29/01/2015 10:07:16 »
Today, the 29th of January, is
Curmudgeons Day.

Its about time my celebratory day came around. Everybody has this day and that to celebrate one thing or another, all I get is Curmudgeons Day. But what get's my goat is that its in the depths of winter! How can I get out and about to erm, well, Curmudge in these temperatures. You'd think that Curmudgeons Day would at least be on a day when you can get out and Curmudge in relative comfort, not freezing your 'bits' off. I don't want to go out Curmudging only to get home to curse mudge on my shoes that needs cleaning off.
« Last Edit: 29/01/2015 10:09:56 by Don_1 »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4277 on: 29/01/2015 12:25:11 »
Today, the 29th of January, is

Curmudgeons Day.


What do you call it when a bad-tempered old baker goes bankrupt?

A curmudgeonly crumble.


« Last Edit: 29/01/2015 12:28:55 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4278 on: 29/01/2015 12:47:51 »
Today is Thomas Crapper Day.

Celebrations will include...playing poker, in the hope of getting a Royal Flush.





Wow!!!

What a royal flush!

In that loo, your clasp ades your isotomic lubrication of what might otherwise be dire Monday noises you
might hear too loudly.


Lets just hope nothing snaps off!




I warned you: be careful when using (exploring!) The Royal Club latrine -- with its 4 jagged edges!.

As you can plainly see, there's a warning:
CLIP 'ER OFF!!

« Last Edit: 29/01/2015 17:51:37 by demografx »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4279 on: 29/01/2015 13:06:32 »

I warned you: be careful when using (exploring!) The Royal Club latrine -- with its 4 jagged edges!.

As you can plainly see, there's a warning:


When you've got to go, you've got to go, and I had drunk an awful lot of fruit deuce!
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4280 on: 29/01/2015 13:25:53 »
Whatever you're drinking make sure you eat enough espresso coffee beans to counter any deleterious effect!!




« Last Edit: 06/03/2015 01:53:25 by demografx »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4281 on: 30/01/2015 11:39:56 »
Is this what they mean by a

Club sandwich?
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4282 on: 30/01/2015 12:00:55 »
Tomorrow is Backwards Day, so should we celebrate it today?
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4283 on: 31/01/2015 16:03:28 »

Tomorrow is Backwards Day, so should we celebrate it today?


'Pun' backwards is nup. And a nup is a nup is a nup.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4284 on: 31/01/2015 16:22:34 »
Is this what they mean by a


Club sandwich?


Your club sandwich is MUCH better than hers!

 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4285 on: 10/02/2015 13:05:09 »
I propose we all toast the club sandwich.
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4286 on: 12/02/2015 11:21:47 »
Its International Darwin Day today.

Yes, celebrating the great man himself, Charles Robert Darwin, born 12th Feb 1809 in Shrewsbury, Shropshire, England.

On 27th Dec 1831, he set sail on HMS Beagle. A voyage that would result in the greatest change to our understanding of life on Earth for ever after. On the 24th Nov 1859 he published his book "On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life."

Many flinched at what he had written, but he taught us how evolution works. Today we might think of it as a gal app a'cos of its blunt contradiction of previous beliefs, but we now know that Charles was dar winner in the end.

Ig wanna just say a big 'thank you' to Darwin. When it comes to picking a book to learn about life, his is the natural selection.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4287 on: 17/02/2015 14:25:41 »

When it comes to picking a book to learn about life, [Darwin's] is the natural selection.


Since you know that I'm a sharp musician, Don_1...well, its just not natural to be that way, is it? 

Am I flat out wrong?



« Last Edit: 18/02/2015 00:03:45 by demografx »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4288 on: 17/02/2015 14:43:34 »

I propose we all toast the club sandwich.



 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4289 on: 17/02/2015 23:58:10 »
Today, the 29th of January, is
Curmudgeons Day.

Its about time my celebratory day came around. Everybody has this day and that to celebrate one thing or another, all I get is Curmudgeons Day. But what get's my goat is that its in the depths of winter! How can I get out and about to erm, well, Curmudge in these temperatures. You'd think that Curmudgeons Day would at least be on a day when you can get out and Curmudge in relative comfort, not freezing your 'bits' off. I don't want to go out Curmudging only to get home to curse mudge on my shoes that needs cleaning off.





« Last Edit: 18/02/2015 00:01:45 by demografx »
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4290 on: 18/02/2015 00:10:01 »

I propose we all toast the club sandwich.


And for you and Mrs. Don_1: belated Valentine's Day toast!



« Last Edit: 06/03/2015 01:36:53 by demografx »
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4291 on: 02/03/2015 14:39:39 »

I'd like one or two of those.



You can add this as one of a few to your collection.





 

Offline Teakhat

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4292 on: 02/03/2015 23:16:14 »
Found a kangaroo. It had a broken leg...so I took it to the hopital.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4293 on: 06/03/2015 01:48:43 »




You can add this as one of a few to your collection.




Future door for my collection. Thank you!



 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4294 on: 11/03/2015 11:41:26 »
I think that's adoorable.
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4295 on: 11/03/2015 11:44:21 »
Just one point, why did he open the door, then walk away?

Oi you! Come back and shut the door. Were you born in a barn or something like that?
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4296 on: 11/03/2015 11:46:14 »
If a door remains unused, is it doormant?
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4297 on: 11/03/2015 11:48:09 »
In Spanish, would the way into paradise be Eldoorado?
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4298 on: 11/03/2015 11:55:56 »
I took the bedroom door off its hinges and laid it on the bed. The wife thought it was some new type of eidoordown.
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4299 on: 13/05/2015 15:36:34 »
I showed this to the Mrs.

"Where did you get that from?" She enquired

I told her I had borrowed it from Bert.

"You couldn't have," she said, "Bert is off touring in his camper at the moment, as you should well know."

"Well," I retorted, "I'm sure I borrowed it from Bert, or was it Harry?"

"Harry has a Volkswagen." She said "This is a Hymer."

"Hmmm, then who did I borrow it from?" I quizzed.

The wife said "You must have borrowed it from Alan."

I said, "You mean........"

"Yes," she replied, "you've got Al's Hymer."
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #4299 on: 13/05/2015 15:36:34 »

 

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