The Naked Scientists

The Naked Scientists Forum

Author Topic: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?  (Read 958647 times)

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #525 on: 27/08/2010 01:26:24 »

I'm trying to reduce my waistline by dieting but sadly it is going from my boobs first!


I will help you hold them up. JimBob's Hand Bra Service available at nominal costs. Write for details.


Don't do it, Make it Lady, I heard complaints from all over that the service just doesn't hold up under pressure!!

Even more laid back than California businesses!
 

Offline Variola

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 1063
  • Everyone should beware of The Pox...
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #526 on: 27/08/2010 08:35:17 »
I'm trying to reduce my waistline by dieting but sadly it is going from my boobs first!

I wish it would go from mine!!!!! My waistline doesn't appear to be reducing either. Feck knows where it is going from, maybe it is because I shaved my armpits rather than plaiting the hair!
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #527 on: 27/08/2010 09:37:04 »
My Mrs said she would help me loose weight. So far I’ve put on 7lbs and she’s lost 12lbs. A net loss of 5lbs, I thought that was a good result, she does not share my opinion and has made an appointment for me with a French surgeon. Apparently from a long line of practioners in her family, she will help me loose 10lbs of ugly fat in one session.

Sounds like a real ‘chip off the old block’ this Madame Le Guillotine.
 

Offline JimBob

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6564
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #528 on: 28/08/2010 04:03:33 »
My Mrs said she would help me loose weight. So far I’ve put on 7lbs and she’s lost 12lbs. A net loss of 5lbs, I thought that was a good result, she does not share my opinion and has made an appointment for me with a French surgeon. Apparently from a long line of practioners in her family, she will help me loose 10lbs of ugly fat in one session.

Sounds like a real ‘chip off the old block’ this Madame Le Guillotine.


Perhaps Don, it is more like a cut of the old ham. (Or mutton??????????????????????? Neil)

 

Offline Geezer

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8328
  • "Vive la résistance!"
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #529 on: 28/08/2010 04:58:17 »
I'm trying to reduce my waistline by dieting but sadly it is going from my boobs first!

I will help you hold them up. JimBob's Hand Bra Service available at nominal costs. Write for details.


Be warned. JimBob's service requires that he weighs them first.

Wwaaahhhhhaaaaaayyyy!
 

Offline JimBob

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6564
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #530 on: 28/08/2010 17:41:14 »
That is fine, I am adept at heavy lifting.
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #531 on: 28/08/2010 19:44:47 »

I'm trying to reduce my waistline by dieting but sadly it is going from my boobs first!


I wish it would go from mine!!!!!


Noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #532 on: 28/08/2010 20:01:22 »

   



Be warned. JimBob's service requires that he weighs them first.

Wwaaahhhhhaaaaaayyyy!


This brings up a serious question regarding measurement accuracy!
 

Offline Bored chemist

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8659
  • Thanked: 42 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #533 on: 29/08/2010 10:59:30 »
If she turns round does she get a bit behind with the orders?
 

Offline Make it Lady

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 4050
  • Hands-on fun for everyone!
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #534 on: 29/08/2010 18:50:10 »
I hear Jimbob has a "Bit Behind" service as well as "Hand Bra." I have also heard that he offers both services at once for a discount. (When I first typed this I left the O out of Discount....OOOPs)
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #535 on: 29/08/2010 21:50:28 »

MiL, yes! His firm has all angles covered!
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #536 on: 30/08/2010 02:13:04 »

If she turns round does she get a bit behind with the orders?


No. Only with the odors.
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #537 on: 30/08/2010 02:25:49 »

   



Be warned. JimBob's service requires that he weighs them first.

Wwaaahhhhhaaaaaayyyy!


This brings up a serious question regarding measurement accuracy!


I notice that Don and Bored Chemist have yet to weigh in on the matter.
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #538 on: 30/08/2010 03:04:29 »
BEST WISHES TO JIMBOB FOR A SPEEDY-AS-POSSIBLE RECOVERY!

(See new "JimBob" thread)
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #539 on: 01/09/2010 02:56:34 »

         


Is it true women like men who yawn?

No actually. Sighs don’t matter.
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #540 on: 02/09/2010 22:47:28 »


Well, as Yogi Berra says,

"There's nothing wrong with a bit of incest, as long as you keep it in the family."


Geezer, the lady bug mated with her ant. It was an insectuous relationship. Is that what you mean?

JimBob:       Would you sleep with one of your relatives?

Geezer:       Only if I had a nap kin.
 

Offline SeanB

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 1118
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #541 on: 06/09/2010 20:20:37 »
A guy is sitting in a pub, staring morosely at the full glass in front of him. His contemplation is rudely interrupted by the arrival at his stool of a garrulous drunk, who proceeds to berate him, before downing his drink and staggering off.

The barkeep comes over, to find the man weeping softly. He says to the guy to cheer up, he will give him a free drink.

The guy looks at the barkeep, and says: " Today I got fired from my job for 15 years. I came home early, to find my wife in bed with the garbage man. She told me to get out, and that she was divorcing me, and our 2 children were the garbage mans. I walked out, to find the repo man there, telling me that the bank was taking the house, the car and freezing my accounts. I had a few bucks in my pocket, and went to the bar, where I am now. I wanted to end it all, but am such a failure, I even had some guy drink the poison I was trying to get the courage to drink."

 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #542 on: 08/09/2010 01:49:41 »
Sean, here's the guy.......

         
 

Offline SeanB

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 1118
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #543 on: 08/09/2010 20:16:45 »
Ah, the heady days of our youth, where we had a seemingly unquenchable thirst for alcoholic beverages, a bladder with limitless capacity and an unerring ability to find a source of free booze.............

DARN IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #544 on: 09/09/2010 03:53:46 »
I know, Sean, I too, long for the GOOD OLD DAYS of health, happiness and boundless joy!!!

       
 

Offline JimBob

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6564
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #545 on: 09/09/2010 13:11:43 »
The best part of it all was trying next to clean the bathroom while contending with the hangover resulting from the previous night's revelry and worship of the Great Porcelain God we worshiped just hours before.
 

Offline SeanB

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 1118
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #546 on: 09/09/2010 20:05:22 »
I was never that bad! Though I did have a bit of trouble with Mulled wine, it kept on exploding.

We solved that one, by the application of some fine engineering - we wired the bottle tops on, like the French use for the sparkling wines. Result was batch 2 had a much reduced probability of popping it's top, though a few of the plastic 2l bottles did detonate, though luckily not when we were around. Was not at all bad, though I did prefer ciders, Woodpecker being the best, not the modern sweet ones. I think I drank a case one night......... The off sales loved us though.
 

Offline JimBob

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6564
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #547 on: 10/09/2010 01:06:40 »
Mead!

Nuff said.
 

Offline demografx

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8196
  • Thanked: 3 times
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #548 on: 10/09/2010 05:32:48 »

I had to look that up.
 

Offline JimBob

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6564
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #549 on: 10/09/2010 14:25:12 »
Oh the shame of it all. The lack of a decent education in the US again shows through.
 

The Naked Scientists Forum

Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #549 on: 10/09/2010 14:25:12 »

 

SMF 2.0.10 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines
SMFAds for Free Forums