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Author Topic: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?  (Read 961810 times)

Offline SeanB

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #550 on: 10/09/2010 20:27:11 »
There is education in the USA???????

I thought that it all consisted of blonde bimbo's worrying over the state of hair, and jocks with the same preoccupation. Add in a few capable of walking and chewing gum, and there you had it.

At least here the teachers are on strike, the pupils are on holiday, the few who want to study are doing so, and the department of education has still not sent out the curriculum for this year - they are looking for a cleft stick of correct dimensions, as well as the right kind of post stone.

 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #551 on: 15/09/2010 06:09:18 »

He said I was average - but he was just being mean.
 

Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #552 on: 15/09/2010 06:58:31 »
The local landowner, Edmondo Finknottle Snodgass Marjoribanks (pronounced Chumley), or "Stinky" to his pals, and his gamekeeper were out hiking around their extensive policies, which were so vast that they had to use a map. It was getting a bit late, and the landowner decided they better head back to the manor house for some crumpet. The game keeper consulted the map and pointed out two ways they could take.

The landowner looked at the two paths and said "I think we better take the second one. We really don't want to find ourselves caught on the first."

To which the gamekeeper said,

"What does that route mean Squire Ed?"
« Last Edit: 15/09/2010 18:50:55 by Geezer »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #553 on: 16/09/2010 01:11:07 »



To which the gamekeeper said,

"What does that route mean Squire Ed?"


Squire Ed replied to the gamekeeper (whose friends call him "RMS") that the magnitude of the first route means it might take forever to get back to the manor in time for crumpet.

 

Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #554 on: 16/09/2010 04:28:11 »
Johnny's mother was admonishing him, yet again, for bolting his food.

"Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you. Do not swallow your meat until it's been amply chewed!"

 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #555 on: 16/09/2010 06:26:58 »

Johnny's problem is not only with his food being amply chewed, but the frequency with which this happens!
 

Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #556 on: 16/09/2010 17:54:24 »
If he keeps it up, he's going to get smacked where it really hertz.
 

Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #557 on: 16/09/2010 22:34:59 »
Johnny's mom is called Maude, so he's going to get maudulated.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #558 on: 16/09/2010 23:21:41 »

Johnny is certainly a generator of all sorts of trouble!
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #559 on: 17/09/2010 03:31:16 »
              
 

Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #560 on: 17/09/2010 04:03:04 »
My pub has one of these hanging above the door.




It's a bar sign.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #561 on: 17/09/2010 16:42:11 »


As due diligence, I followed up and checked on your bar sign, Geezer, and I only saw one over the men's room urinal:

We Aim To Please
You Aim Too, Please


So now I will check out The Pistol Dawn Bar
(Drink till 3, pistol dawn)

 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #562 on: 17/09/2010 16:49:52 »

My greatest sphere is that the Earth is round.
 

Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #563 on: 18/09/2010 00:52:57 »
Hyspherical!
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #564 on: 18/09/2010 19:45:49 »

Now is not the time for hyspheria.
 

Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #565 on: 19/09/2010 05:54:43 »
Great! So now you've gone all botanical on us.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #566 on: 20/09/2010 04:59:35 »


That's funny, Geezer, sometimes you flora me! ;D
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #567 on: 20/09/2010 10:30:43 »
Oh! Very fauny.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #568 on: 20/09/2010 23:15:41 »


How did the botanist, after dealing with fertilizer, clean her hands?

She had a manure-cure

 

Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #569 on: 21/09/2010 00:41:17 »
Now you've gong and dung it.
« Last Edit: 21/09/2010 04:12:02 by Geezer »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #570 on: 21/09/2010 05:59:30 »

OK, but don't get pissed over it.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #571 on: 21/09/2010 06:22:47 »


That's funny, Geezer, sometimes you flora me! ;D



Oh! Very fauny.


           ;D


 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #572 on: 21/09/2010 17:41:46 »


There is education in the USA???????


Yes, of course, Sean. For example, we wear glasses while learning math because it improves division.

« Last Edit: 21/09/2010 21:34:05 by demografx »
 

Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #573 on: 21/09/2010 20:29:45 »



There is education in the USA???????


Yes, of course, Sean. For example, we wear glasses while learning math because it improves divison.



..but, evidently, not dispelling.  ;D
 

Offline peppercorn

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #574 on: 21/09/2010 20:55:43 »
I find mult liquor is a factor in my mathematical product-ivity.
After a mult everything is more pliable !
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #574 on: 21/09/2010 20:55:43 »

 

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