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Author Topic: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?  (Read 956876 times)

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #700 on: 21/10/2010 17:59:33 »
Two old geezers in adjacent beds in a hospital in Brighton, UK.

Geezer1: "Did you come 'ere to die?"

Geezer2: "No mate. I come 'ere yesterdie."

Hey, I thought there was one and only one, i.e., our one and only.......GEEZER!!!!
 

Offline Make it Lady

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #701 on: 22/10/2010 18:28:17 »
I think you are getting us muddled up with Australians, and that would never do cobber
 

Offline JimBob

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #702 on: 23/10/2010 04:12:30 »
What do shoes have to do with this?
 

Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #703 on: 23/10/2010 07:08:27 »
Mil, I think that's cobblers.

Next thing you'll be trying to tell us that Cholmondeley is pronounced Chumly.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #704 on: 24/10/2010 00:15:06 »

A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back. 'The doctor said, 'It's old age.'  The woman said, 'I want a second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK. you're ugly as well.'
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #705 on: 24/10/2010 00:50:52 »




Mil, I think that's cobblers.

Next thing you'll be trying to tell us that Cholmondeley is pronounced Chumly.


Urban Dictionary: cobber
Australian colloquialism meaning "mate" or "friend", but not necessarily in the literal term.

Oh, and Geezer? I researched it and Cholmondeley is most assuredly pronounced Chumly.



 

Offline John Chapman

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #706 on: 24/10/2010 22:43:19 »
Some bloke takes his kids to the zoo. When they get inside there's just one cage with a small scruffy dog sitting inside it. He storms to the office to complain.

"You call this a zoo?! It's just one dog sitting in a cage!" he rants.

The ticket seller calmly replies:

"I know, Sir. It's a shitzu"
 
 

Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #707 on: 25/10/2010 00:32:23 »
Some bloke takes his kids to the zoo. When they get inside there's just one cage with a small scruffy dog sitting inside it. He storms to the office to complain.

"You call this a zoo?! It's just one dog sitting in a cage!" he rants.

The ticket seller calmly replies:

"I know, Sir. It's a shitzu"
 

Sounds like a Chapman original. You might also consider posting it in the "Is this the worst joke ever?" thread.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #708 on: 25/10/2010 03:54:53 »


Geezer, I Shih Tzu not, a dyslexic man walked into a bra...
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #709 on: 26/10/2010 23:04:45 »




'Doc, I can't stop singing the Green Green Grass Of Home.
'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'.

'Is it common?'
'It's not unusual.'

 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #710 on: 28/10/2010 10:10:29 »

'Doc, I can't stop singing the Green Green Grass Of Home.
'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'.

'Is it common?'
'It's not unusual.'



AGHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

That's so old, its very nearly a fossil.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #711 on: 28/10/2010 21:42:59 »


No it's not. I just heard it!  ;D
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #712 on: 28/10/2010 21:44:05 »
Not through the grapevine by any chance?
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #713 on: 29/10/2010 03:52:31 »

                             

That's so funny, Don, that it made me...just about to lose my mind!!

« Last Edit: 29/10/2010 20:53:39 by demografx »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #714 on: 29/10/2010 10:28:28 »
I hope it didn't make you laugh so much that it brought you to tears, because, you know a man 'aint supposed to cry.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #715 on: 29/10/2010 20:51:13 »

No matter what you colic, a baby crying for hours is a pain!
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #716 on: 30/10/2010 15:14:12 »
Ah yes, colic, they suffer greatly from that in a Burpham, a village on the edge of Guilford, Surrey.


OK, OK, so its pronounced Burfam, not Burp-ham, but call it punetical license.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #717 on: 30/10/2010 16:49:43 »

Don't forget, punsters who want to go hunting have to get a punetical license.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #718 on: 31/10/2010 23:27:54 »




 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #719 on: 01/11/2010 10:45:47 »
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #720 on: 01/11/2010 21:34:41 »

No, it's a daffynition.
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #721 on: 01/11/2010 21:40:08 »
 

Offline Don_1

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #722 on: 02/11/2010 14:16:23 »
Remember that accursed woman who was always popping up on the adverts flogging gravy cubes, she must have been an Oxomoron.
 

Offline Geezer

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #723 on: 02/11/2010 18:26:35 »
Is a Spanish hoover El Ectrolux?
 

Offline demografx

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #724 on: 02/11/2010 19:03:38 »


I think "si", but I'll tell ya, my new expensive vacuum cleaner really sucks.
 

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Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
« Reply #724 on: 02/11/2010 19:03:38 »

 

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