The Naked Scientists

The Naked Scientists Forum

Author Topic: JimBob  (Read 51601 times)

Offline JimBob

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6564
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
JimBob
« Reply #150 on: 27/09/2010 18:07:43 »
No twaddle indeed Sire.
May I say that I'm pleased to hear that your imperial personage are recovering from the stings and arrows abundant mortality heaps upon us all. It seems you have upset a member of your, ah, I meant, sorry Sir, I seem to have mislaid my thoughts? A moment while I search for my mind..

(Never, ever get a person of the fairer ahem mad at you. And if you do, blame it on Yorick)

My Dear Earl of Gotland,

We thank you for your sage Council. It reminds Us only of that which we have intuitively known since being at our mothers breast - never bite the nipple that feeds you. The other sex in unfathomable; and perhaps a slight bit more shrewish.


How about blaming Banquoe's ghost? No need to stick with only one play.

« Last Edit: 27/09/2010 18:57:39 by JimBob »
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
JimBob
« Reply #151 on: 27/09/2010 18:10:49 »
Oh! Woe, woe and thrice woe!

Come hither good folk of TNS and pay heed to my tale, for I suffer greatly.

Our most benevolent Lord and Master bade me:
Please, accept our hospitality and take your pick from the Royal concubines,
And I did partake of his most kind gesture. But alas, I paid not good attention to his most generous offer and took, for my pleasure a Porcupine.

Woe, woe and thrice woe!

The physician has said there will be no lasting damage unto my person and placed upon me a poultice of eye of toad, wing of bat, Lark's vomit and the droppings of a goat fed on hardboiled egg and sprout vindaloo for three weeks.

I speak to ye all now from the place unto which I have been banished until my fragrance is a little more acceptable.

Oh! Woe, woe and thrice woe!
 

Offline Geezer

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8328
  • "Vive la résistance!"
    • View Profile
JimBob
« Reply #152 on: 27/09/2010 18:51:25 »

The physician has said there will be no lasting damage unto my person and placed upon me a poultice of eye of toad, wing of bat, Lark's vomit and the droppings of a goat fed on hardboiled egg and sprout vindaloo for three weeks.


Gadzooks Sir. Knoweth not that thy physician is a popinjay, nay even the bahoochie of an old mare? The potion is lacking of the most vital ingredient - pish of newt.
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
JimBob
« Reply #153 on: 27/09/2010 19:14:57 »
Oh! Woe ,woe and thrice woe, for my physician is but a quack and a charlatan, for he hath omitted an ingredient most vital from my poultice. But I cannot go thither unto him to correct this most dastardly error, for my aroma is too powerful by far. The guards shall not allow me to pass into the kingdom of TNS.

I shall search the swamps of this place to locate a Newt and ask of it the pleasure of his ................................... AGhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I hath fallen in the bog!
 

Offline Geezer

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8328
  • "Vive la résistance!"
    • View Profile
JimBob
« Reply #154 on: 27/09/2010 20:17:22 »
Most calamitous Sir! We pray that thy wifey flusheth not the privy.
 

Offline yor_on

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 11987
  • Thanked: 4 times
  • (Ah, yes:) *a table is always good to hide under*
    • View Profile
JimBob
« Reply #155 on: 28/09/2010 11:56:57 »
Sire, as your physician I must say that I'm saddened to read such bladderdash.

Let it be know that I by the court of the Persian Empire, Mogul of the hordes, as well as the enlightened ruler of the not to distant 0Z received my apostolate in where he, or they as the correct pronunciation well should be, fell upon his very knees as he dubbed me Wizard of the spheres. Master of toads, as well as the 'Reason Why Worlds Turn'. And not away, if I may hasten to add? Nay Sire, towards naturally, towards Sire! if I might say so, and I might, I just might. The untotalled glimmering wholesome fullness of thought my mighty intellect presents all that bask in its glory a safe harbor.

Alas.

But you Sir, you will now find yourself sadly amiss of that glory, drifting in a sea of bewilderment, cast upon the waves, as the saying goes, of your privy. I will take me leave proudly knowing that your thoughts are as bladderwort to my mind.
« Last Edit: 28/09/2010 15:26:46 by yor_on »
 

Offline JimBob

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6564
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
JimBob
« Reply #156 on: 28/09/2010 13:15:10 »
Our most sincere condolences, Duke Don

Me thinkith the Earl of Gotland has to the mead horn turned and emptied once too many times this night.

(Did ANYONE understand that last post???????????)

Duke Don, We sus fowl play. One of Our concubines was presented to me by a potentate of the East accompanied by a peacock. Having much an attraction for the tail feathers of the bird, the badger hounds, the pets of my small niece, tormented the beautiful bird's posterior until only sharp shafts of the birds tail feathers remained.

I am sure you were not so far into your cups that thou didst not deceive you yourself so grossly as choosing a porcupine - you chose the same said Eastern concubine and when you retired to her chambers, the witchy woman transposed herself with the fowl, thus causing the inter species mating and confusion. 

We shall have the Master of Dungeons pay a "visit" to said recalcitrant person.

Lastly, We are sending our page to you with a gallon of a new French fad, perfume. Just use a quarter cup a day over your body and you will be only as odoriferous as any other person in Paris. The page will also gift you with an additional boon - a passage to Paris where you may heal in comfort and luxury, then return to court when you give off a odoure less like the stableboy's cursed uncle who owns a polecat farm.

On last thing, my loyal Duke, Our confinement has lead to ennui. Although tragic in the extreme, much mirth has been derived by Us from your misfortune. NA! Think not we revel in anything thou may suffer; rather we are quite amused by the part of you that so naturally reflects the human condition.

« Last Edit: 28/09/2010 13:17:34 by JimBob »
 

Offline yor_on

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 11987
  • Thanked: 4 times
  • (Ah, yes:) *a table is always good to hide under*
    • View Profile
JimBob
« Reply #157 on: 28/09/2010 13:46:05 »
As a legitimated physician I must protest at the sharpest. Although it well known that the posterior shine at times, it do not reflect, unless polished. As for the rest of my post it was perfectly understandable.

To me, that is :)
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
JimBob
« Reply #158 on: 28/09/2010 15:32:07 »
I can confirm, Master Physician, that I didst comprehend thine posting well, but, I must confess, only after the consumption of several flagons of the fabled "Mrs Winterbottom's triple strength Strong Ale", described by aficionado's of the alcoholic beverage as being not too dissimilar to a mixture of rocket fuel and sheep dip concentrate. Also an excellent medium for the clearing of blocked drains.

Having partly recovered from my stupor, I can understand none of it!

 

Offline JimBob

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6564
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
JimBob
« Reply #159 on: 28/09/2010 19:13:02 »
Forsooth, dear Your_on. I do believe you are having Us on. Drivel, balderdash and the exude of a "worried" mind seems most apropos to describe the verbiage previously provide. Our remarks do not mean we are not pleased. Na, my good Earl, We are quite amused. It provides a lulling divertimento in words between the exigencies of the day.

 

Offline neilep

  • Withdrawnmist
  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 20602
  • Thanked: 8 times
    • View Profile
JimBob
« Reply #160 on: 28/09/2010 19:14:04 »
Does anyone know how JimBob is doing ?






























 ;)
 

Offline Geezer

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8328
  • "Vive la résistance!"
    • View Profile
JimBob
« Reply #161 on: 28/09/2010 19:33:24 »
Good question. We've not heard from him for some time  ::)
 

Offline neilep

  • Withdrawnmist
  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 20602
  • Thanked: 8 times
    • View Profile
JimBob
« Reply #162 on: 28/09/2010 19:54:14 »
I hope he's Ok !  ::)
 

Offline Don_1

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6890
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • A stupid comment for every occasion.
    • View Profile
    • Knight Light Haulage
JimBob
« Reply #163 on: 28/09/2010 21:57:13 »
Does anyone know how JimBob is doing ?

I do believe he is spending some considerable time on the throne.
 

Offline Make it Lady

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 4050
  • Hands-on fun for everyone!
    • View Profile
JimBob
« Reply #164 on: 28/09/2010 22:32:46 »
I think he is spending time on a medieval throne judging by his gadsoothing. I doubt he is ready for this buck some serving wench.
 

Offline JimBob

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6564
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
JimBob
« Reply #165 on: 29/09/2010 01:04:38 »
Why buck a serving wench when the nurses are so amenable?

Update: Recovery proceeds apace. The fatigue of failing health for three years is rather quickly dissolving but there is a heck of a way to go. We have not been strong for over a year with decreasing health ever day since that time. About 2 weeks before hospitalization We thought that the inevitable outcome was to be in a nursing home (elder care facility) by October. We believe that would have been in one soon had the acute manifestation of the pancreatitis not occurred.

There is one major problem at this facility. The diet. Not only is it not very good to begin with, but the dietitian is unable or unwilling to provide a pancreas-friendly diet: low fat, high protein, preferably vegetable protein, and no geriatric portions. We need food to build the 30 or so pounds of muscle mass to rebuild - didn't eat for 3 weeks while suffering the acute phase the pancreatitis.

 

Offline yor_on

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 11987
  • Thanked: 4 times
  • (Ah, yes:) *a table is always good to hide under*
    • View Profile
JimBob
« Reply #166 on: 29/09/2010 01:09:50 »
Who's Jim Bob?
 

Offline yor_on

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 11987
  • Thanked: 4 times
  • (Ah, yes:) *a table is always good to hide under*
    • View Profile
JimBob
« Reply #167 on: 29/09/2010 01:16:11 »

                                                                                                                    ahem..
 

Offline yor_on

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 11987
  • Thanked: 4 times
  • (Ah, yes:) *a table is always good to hide under*
    • View Profile
JimBob
« Reply #168 on: 29/09/2010 02:15:04 »
And
     Ouch JB.

That sounds somewhat un-nutritious.
Maybe your doctor can arrange something?
At least make sure you're fed and full.

Doest nor worry though, as a physician, for now finding me unemployed and rather in a haste as my new master somehow have gotten it in his head to suspect me, me?? Me !! Poisoning?  So it goes when one present new culinary products for the ignoramus masses. My simple remedy of roasted toad-legs dipped in a wholesome sauce of belladonna and Devils weed called ..  poison? Ah well, forgiveness is the true sign of greatness so I will only smile as I write you, sweetly perhaps with a touch of a thoughtful expression, well aimed to present my mirror the true dignity and noblesse of a peer of the realm. I will make all speed and lengthen my stride to come to your side Sire, do not despair. Bringing with me a strict diet of such vegetarian delicatessen as the single malt, the answer to all occasions Sire, slightly tanged with garlic and the root of, let us name not that now, a experiment that, if I may add, have given this wholesome elixir a whole new dimension of fruity zaniness...

(Anyway, maybe a nurse or two could serve too?
 Do not hesitate to ask for a bigger pot, and measure them most carefully.)
 

Offline neilep

  • Withdrawnmist
  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 20602
  • Thanked: 8 times
    • View Profile
JimBob
« Reply #169 on: 29/09/2010 05:37:14 »
Well, if anyone does hear how he is ....will ewe please let us know....we miss the old fart chap !!
 

Offline Geezer

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8328
  • "Vive la résistance!"
    • View Profile
JimBob
« Reply #170 on: 29/09/2010 05:49:08 »
Last I heard, him and that Poxy Lady had buggered orf taken a hike to Bora Bora for some R&R, or maybe it was M&S? Anyway, it was obvious to me there was something going on there, if you know what I mean.
 

Offline Make it Lady

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 4050
  • Hands-on fun for everyone!
    • View Profile
JimBob
« Reply #171 on: 29/09/2010 19:34:23 »
He has both pox and Lady. He has animal magnetism. Yes even the drummer from the muppets is stuck to him!
 

Offline JimBob

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 6564
  • Thanked: 7 times
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
JimBob
« Reply #172 on: 29/09/2010 20:40:59 »
Nudge, nudge, wink, wink

 ;D ;D ;D [:X] [:X] [:X] ;D ;D ;D [:X] [:X] [:X] ;D ;D ;D
 

Offline Geezer

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8328
  • "Vive la résistance!"
    • View Profile
JimBob
« Reply #173 on: 29/09/2010 22:00:37 »
.



There's JimBob right there!
 

Offline Geezer

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 8328
  • "Vive la résistance!"
    • View Profile
JimBob
« Reply #174 on: 29/09/2010 22:11:28 »
JimBob,

Glad to hear you are no longer having perpetual motions.
 

The Naked Scientists Forum

JimBob
« Reply #174 on: 29/09/2010 22:11:28 »

 

SMF 2.0.10 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines
SMFAds for Free Forums