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Author Topic: A razor designed for shaving a man's scrotum.  (Read 13541 times)

Offline MDriver1981

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A razor designed for shaving a man's scrotum.
« on: 16/06/2011 04:50:13 »
Does anyone wonder why such a razor has not been invented?  It is very hard to shave it with conventional razors.


 

Offline RD

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A razor designed for shaving a man's scrotum.
« Reply #1 on: 16/06/2011 07:00:18 »
From the "that's too much information" department.

I'm sure I've heard Elton John on a chat show saying he uses nair on his nads, that's gotta hurt.
Maybe it's inspirational if he's covering this Jerry Lee Lewis number ...
« Last Edit: 16/06/2011 07:07:46 by RD »
 

Offline Don_1

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A razor designed for shaving a man's scrotum.
« Reply #2 on: 16/06/2011 11:27:05 »
I have never shaved, nor had the desire to shave, any part of my nether regions. However, in the quest of the furtherance of scientific and technological study I shall carry out some trials.

Now, what do I need?

Here we are. Hot towel, shaving soap, brush, mirror, strop and cut-throat razor.

I shall report my findings in due course.
 

Offline Don_1

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A razor designed for shaving a man's scrotum.
« Reply #3 on: 16/06/2011 11:28:26 »
Goodness gracious, I nearly forgot the aftershave!!!
 

Offline imatfaal

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A razor designed for shaving a man's scrotum.
« Reply #4 on: 16/06/2011 11:30:51 »
Cue every man reading this thread to wince and shrink away from PC
 

Offline graham.d

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A razor designed for shaving a man's scrotum.
« Reply #5 on: 16/06/2011 12:07:34 »
Having had "the unkindest cut of all" many years ago I seem to remember the shaving part was done by an attractive young nurse. I didn't notice what sort of razor was being used but I would recommend this is the best procedure.

N.B. Requires self control  ;)
 

Offline SeanB

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A razor designed for shaving a man's scrotum.
« Reply #6 on: 16/06/2011 12:34:20 »
Use a lady razor, which has fine wires to prevent catching of those wrinkles. Would not recommend the parlour, where they use hot wax.........
 

Offline Don_1

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« Reply #7 on: 16/06/2011 12:43:41 »
In high pitch writing, if there is such a thing)

Many thanks for your suggetions, however they were all too late, since I had already embarked upon my quest.

The results of my trial are far from conclusive, but I am afraid I shall be unable to carry out further trials for reasons which will become apparent.

For the benefit of anyone wishing to continue this research, I here detail my experience and oversights, in order that you will not make the same mistakes I did.

In addition to the hot towel, an ambient dry towel should also be employed. This is to be rolled and placed between the teeth, in order to prevent biting off your tongue when the hot towel is applied to the scrotum. Also, to obviate the appearance of a large lump on the head when being propelled by reflex action toward the ceiling, a crash helmet is strongly advised. Failing that, a good supply of aspirin or a similar pain reliever.

Application of the shaving soap might not have been so bad, and, indeed, might even have been quite pleasurable, had I employed the use of soft feathers. Unfortunately, the use of a rather stiff bristled badgers brush upon my scalded knackers turned out to be excruciatingly painful. This time, having learnt from my previous mistake, I did have a dry, rolled towel to put between my teeth. Though by this stage of the procedure I had already eaten my tongue, it did prevent me from grinding my teeth down to mere stumps.

The next stage in the process was to be actual shaving, but, should you get this far in your trials, you might find, as I did, a bottle of strong liquor helps to steady the nerves.

Ensuring that the blade of the cut-throat razor was sharp may, or may not, have been such a good idea.

In hindsight, it would have been a good plan to have posted notices with the legend "KEEP QUIET" & "DO NOT DISTURB". Alas, this thought did not cross my mind and when a loud knocking on the door caused me to jump, I sliced off my accoutrements. Once again, a crash helmet would have obviated the resulting subsiquent cranial lump as I collided with the ceiling.

After writhing in pain for what seemed an eternity, I rushed down the stairs with my cobblers in my hand. This was the only means by which I could keep them with me, since they had now parted company with the other dangly bit which resides between my legs. I flung open the front door, cobblers in hand and legs akimbo, to find the postwoman bearing a large package which she could not fit through the letterbox.

It is worth noting, that both the accidental removal of my nuts and the meeting with the postwoman caused much annoyance to the neighbours. Apparently I was considered to be the cause of considerable 'noise nuisance'. While I accept that I did make some considerable noise during some parts of my trials, I am not sure I can be held responsible for screaming and ranting of the postwoman.

I did not get as far as the application of aftershave, but suggest it might not be a good idea.

I must now cut short my report, since Sgt. Boll and Police Constable Orcks have suggested a visit to the hospital before they take me into custody. I do hope they have some rhubarb, I love rhubarb and custard.
 

Offline Don_1

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« Reply #8 on: 16/06/2011 14:49:32 »
In somewhat lower pitched writing than my last entry

An update on my situation.

Subsequent to my visit to the hospital, where a German nurse by the name of Fräulein Briken Schitenhausen reattached my erstwhile separated wedding tackle to my person, I was invited to accompany Sgt. Boll and PC Orcks to the local constabulary.
There, I enquired as to the prospects of receiving some rhubarb to go with my custody. I fear this was not forthcoming, but I believe some mention of a Gooseberry Fool was made, this too did not materialise.

I was introduced to Inspector Ball, who suggested that I should seek some alternative form of pastime. I explained that I had been engaged in a study of scientific and technological merit when things had gone awry. He ventured that I should take up something less hazardous, such as colouring in books with some pretty crayons. “A visit to the Early Learning Centre might be a good idea” he proposed as he motioned me toward the door, told me to go home and took his leave of me uttering what I presume to be the legal term, “Bugger off, dickbrains”.

It’s a shame I left the Police Station when I did, for, judging by the howls of laughter emanating from the station, I must have missed out on a very funny joke. Others behind me must have heard it, for they too were in fits of laughter as walked home in some discomfort and emulating a sufferer of rickets, in order to avoid further agonising clashes to my nether regions.

Ah well, home now. Time for a cup of coffee. What was that about boiling water in a paper cup? I wonder if it would work with the heat source being an oxy-acetylene torch…………….

NB. Any ideas what colour crayons I should be using on this picture of a Giant Panda?
 

Offline RD

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« Reply #9 on: 17/06/2011 11:31:19 »
Haven't you got a stapler ? ...

Quote
One morning I was called to the emergency room by the head ER nurse. She directed me to a patient who had refused to describe his problem other than to say "he needed a doctor who took care of men's troubles" ... the patient permitted me to remove his trousers, shorts, and two or three yards of foul-smelling stained gauze wrapped about his scrotum, which was swollen to twice the size of a grapefruit and extremely tender.

...  amid the matted hair, edematous skin, and various exudates, I saw some half-buried dark linear objects and asked the patient what they were. Several days earlier, he replied, he had injured himself in the machine shop where he worked, and had closed the laceration himself with a heavy-duty stapling gun ... eight rusty staples were retrieved.

https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Self-surgery#Genital
 

Offline imatfaal

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A razor designed for shaving a man's scrotum.
« Reply #10 on: 17/06/2011 12:13:15 »
RD - what's the difference between the https secure wikipedia and the normal one?  Would it be advisable to use the secure one in day to day usage?

Cheers
 

Offline RD

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« Reply #11 on: 17/06/2011 13:03:24 »
RD - what's the difference between the https secure wikipedia and the normal one?  Would it be advisable to use the secure one in day to day usage?

My use of HTTPS above was an accident: my FireFox browser automatically uses HTTPS (rather than HTTP) when it is available ...

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/06/18/https_everywhere_firefox_plugin/


On HTTPS allegedly no-one can eavesdrop ...

Quote
Strictly speaking, HTTPS is not a separate protocol, but refers to use of ordinary HTTP over an encrypted Secure Sockets Layer (SSL) or Transport Layer Security (TLS) connection.

Everything in the HTTP message is encrypted, including the headers, and the request/response load.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HTTP_Secure#Difference_from_HTTP

Careful now ...

Quote
Q. When does HTTPS Everywhere protect me? When does it not protect me?

    A. HTTPS Everywhere protects you only when you are using encrypted portions of supported web sites. On a supported site, it will automatically activate HTTPS encryption for all known supported parts of the site (for some sites, this might be only a portion of the entire site). For example, if your web mail provider does not support HTTPS at all, HTTPS Everywhere can't make your access to your web mail secure. Similarly, if a site (like Wikipedia) allows HTTPS for text but not images, someone might be able to see which images your browser loads and guess what you're accessing
http://www.eff.org/https-everywhere/faq
« Last Edit: 17/06/2011 13:12:26 by RD »
 

Offline imatfaal

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« Reply #12 on: 17/06/2011 13:09:08 »
thanks - my chrome installations are crashing regularly at present so it might be time to go back to firefox.  might try to be more secure as well!
 

Offline RD

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« Reply #13 on: 17/06/2011 13:34:52 »
thanks - my chrome installations are crashing regularly at present so it might be time to go back to firefox.

FireFox4 works like a charm. If you do install it add NoScript and AddBlock Plus.

[ If you have FireFox you can check add-ons like Adobe flash are up to date (so are secure as possible) here ]

... might try to be more secure as well!

Communicating via HTTP is like sending a postcard written in pencil: anyone can read or modify the text.
« Last Edit: 17/06/2011 13:38:17 by RD »
 

Offline imatfaal

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« Reply #14 on: 17/06/2011 15:19:34 »
Communicating via HTTP is like sending a postcard written in pencil: anyone can read or modify the text.

Have just reinstalled f-fox.  I go back to the old phoenix/firebird (just looked and I still have installation file from 2.0.0.2) days but got annoyed with it a year or so ago and moved to chrome.
 

Offline graham.d

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« Reply #15 on: 20/06/2011 11:21:15 »
Interesting information regarding browser installations. You know, I bet search engines would struggle to find this, given the opening question to the thread  ::)
 

Offline Don_1

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« Reply #16 on: 21/06/2011 08:30:34 »
Graham, are you suggesting this is a load of old B*ll**s?

I think I might have to agree with you. I still can't fathom out why MDriver wants to shave his privates. Who's going to see them? And if he goes out flashing, I don't think the fact that he was clean shaven will cut any ice with the judge.
 

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A razor designed for shaving a man's scrotum.
« Reply #16 on: 21/06/2011 08:30:34 »

 

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