The Naked Scientists

The Naked Scientists Forum

Author Topic: Computer Help...keeping an eye on kids !  (Read 5668 times)

Offline neilep

  • Withdrawnmist
  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 20602
  • Thanked: 8 times
    • View Profile
Computer Help...keeping an eye on kids !
« on: 07/05/2006 22:25:27 »
Ok, I don't mean for it to sound bad but my 10 year old daughter and 12 year old son do spend a long time on MSN messenger on their computer upstairs which is RF linked to mine via my ADSL LAN Router.

Is there any way at all that I can ' keep an eye ' on their conversations from my pc (Win XP Home ED) downstairs in my study ?


Men are the same as women, just inside out !


 

another_someone

  • Guest
Re: Computer Help...keeping an eye on kids !
« Reply #1 on: 08/05/2006 00:32:50 »
I don't use MSN messenger very much, and certainly don't snoop other people's conversations; but then I don't have kids either.

I did a quick google for what might be out there.  I picked up 3 links to things that might do as you desire, but I cannot say whether they work or not, or whether they might have some advesr effect on your system or not (I also don't doubt that there are many more than these 3, I cannot say whether these are the best or the worst 3 around).

http://www.freedownloadscenter.com/Network_and_Internet/Misc__Communications_Tools/MSN_Checker_Sniffer.html
http://www.freedownloadscenter.com/Network_and_Internet/Misc__Networking_Tools/IMMonitor_MSN_Spy.html
http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/cybersnoop-software.html




George
 

Offline ukmicky

  • Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3011
    • View Profile
    • http://www.space-talk.com/
Re: Computer Help...keeping an eye on kids !
« Reply #2 on: 08/05/2006 02:10:34 »
Neil think about it, do you really want to. I had the same thoughts as you but in the end decided not to do anything. I told them about the dangers on the net and laid down a few rules and I let them know that if I wanted to I could easily see exactly what they were doing at any time and I even showed them a program which I said would let me. And then I did nothing apart from trust them. I also figured that there will be things that they will do or say that as a father i wouldnít be happy about but the same could be said if my wife were to read what I sometimes write in my online conversations to people, but to me and my friends itís nothing serious, just talk, friendly banter between friends. And yes even 10 year olds with say things as a joke to a friend which you may not like or take to seriously.

 The more you monitor them the more paranoid you may become especially when they reach their teens so youíre best bet is to just trust them to follow the rules you lay down with the occasional in person visit to there room while they are online.

However if you still wish to I believe messenger has a chat log which if turned on will save there online text messages  also Iím not sure for sure but remote access may also allow you to log into there pc from your pc while their on without them knowing, if set up correctly.

But think about it though do you really want to.

Ps I also told them I couldnít get the webcam to work even though there was nothing wrong with it and all I had to do was put a tick in a box. Ö.I decided to be safer than sorry.


Michael
« Last Edit: 08/05/2006 02:12:37 by ukmicky »
 

Offline Carolyn

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 3761
    • View Profile
Re: Computer Help...keeping an eye on kids !
« Reply #3 on: 08/05/2006 03:04:13 »
Neil - Michael is correct, on MSN Messenger there is a chat log that you can set up.  You need to know their log in names and passwords though.  I have monitored my childrens conversations from time to time.  I must warn you, you may find out some things you aren't prepared for.  I'm not talking anything earth shattering, but you may find they know alot more than you realize.  I was dumbfounded.  

There are people out there who will tell you it's an invasion of privacy, or you have no right to do so, but they are YOUR children.  You have to do whatever it takes to protect them.  Unfortunately, children can be very naive when it comes to talking online and they can give out all kinds of revealing information.

I'm not recommending that you monitor every conversation they have.  I monitor only occasionally, to make sure they are behaving appropriately.  Now that my daughter is almost 18 I don't monitor her anymore.  She is almost an adult, and I raised her to the best of my ability.  Now I just have to hope she makes the right decisions, and be there for her when she doesn't.

Unfortunately, where my son got in trouble was not on MSN.  It was on a gaming website that had a chat feature.  I was horrified by what was being written to my pre-teen son.  From what I saw, he didn't write anything inappropriate, other than "LOL", but he stayed on the site and the conversation even though he knew better. I could only read from where I caught him.  There was no way to go back and read what was written before that.

Good luck Neil.

Carolyn
 

Offline neilep

  • Withdrawnmist
  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 20602
  • Thanked: 8 times
    • View Profile
Re: Computer Help...keeping an eye on kids !
« Reply #4 on: 08/05/2006 03:43:55 »
Thank you Carolyn and Michael,

You have both given me food for thought.

I think that for me, If I donít do a trial of monitoring then I will always be wondering.

My concern is not really for the naivety of my children, for as a family we are very open, no , my main concern is about the vile predators out there which scare the living ****s out of me !

I really appreciate the tip about the chat log. Itís perfect.

Carolyn, my son, also spends most of his time playing  an online game. When I have sat with him I have seen uncouth language but thatís mainly it !...Itís a shoot-em-up game so I think in this case itís not the right environment for a nutter.The game is very fast paced and you have to spend all your time playing it rather than chatting.

I do appreciate the caution Michael, but like you, I'd rather be safer than sorry,....and I DO have a small concern ,so, for myself , I must check it out.

Iíll let you knowÖ.Thank You.


Men are the same as women, just inside out !
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 12656
  • Thanked: 3 times
  • A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
    • View Profile
Re: Computer Help...keeping an eye on kids !
« Reply #5 on: 08/05/2006 21:24:26 »
MSN chat log is OK but easy to disable - and it won't record what's going on elsewhere. Download & install a keylogger (or, better still, a program that intercepts & logs all text that's sent to the monitor from the local keyboard or from the net). They won't even know it's running and you can spy on everything that goes on. <sneaky grin>

Brand new forum at
http://beaverlandforum.d4a.com
More than just science
 

Offline Laith

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 164
    • View Profile
Re: Computer Help...keeping an eye on kids !
« Reply #6 on: 08/05/2006 23:06:48 »
I agree with most of what was said here, but i cant stop thinking that i myself (and probably everyone else here) used to say or write things that i wouldnt want my parents or even my friends sometimes to see, things that my dad might not like, or things that could be embarrassing, but we still turned out to be okay, i wouldnt mind my kids to grow up like me even though i wasnt a perfect kid

Laith
 

Offline neilep

  • Withdrawnmist
  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 20602
  • Thanked: 8 times
    • View Profile
Re: Computer Help...keeping an eye on kids !
« Reply #7 on: 09/05/2006 00:16:51 »
Thanks laith, (and I omitted to thank George for those links..thanks George..and also to Eth for his tip too)


...as I mentioned...in all sincerity...my concern are not what my children might be writing, though that is of course something which should not be overlooked, but my main concern is who they are talking to and fundamentally, what these people are saying to my children ....

Men are the same as women, just inside out !
 

another_someone

  • Guest
Re: Computer Help...keeping an eye on kids !
« Reply #8 on: 09/05/2006 00:24:57 »
quote:
Originally posted by neilep
...as I mentioned...in all sincerity...my concern are not what my children might be writing, though that is of course something which should not be overlooked, but my main concern is who they are talking to and fundamentally, what these people are saying to my children ....



I am not in your position, so I really can't say what is right and wrong; but if your concern is who they are talking to, then could you not ask your kids to let you see a sample of their conversations that they feel happy with you seeing (enough to satisfy you amount the nature of who they are talking to, without covertly compromising their privacy)?



George
 

Offline neilep

  • Withdrawnmist
  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 20602
  • Thanked: 8 times
    • View Profile
Re: Computer Help...keeping an eye on kids !
« Reply #9 on: 09/05/2006 02:07:15 »
quote:
Originally posted by another_someone

quote:
Originally posted by neilep
...as I mentioned...in all sincerity...my concern are not what my children might be writing, though that is of course something which should not be overlooked, but my main concern is who they are talking to and fundamentally, what these people are saying to my children ....



I am not in your position, so I really can't say what is right and wrong; but if your concern is who they are talking to, then could you not ask your kids to let you see a sample of their conversations that they feel happy with you seeing (enough to satisfy you amount the nature of who they are talking to, without covertly compromising their privacy)?



George





Thank you George.

I appreciate your suggestion.  I will ask them to let me see a token page or two. How ever, there are times when I have walked in the room and my son has acted with alacrity to hide the page and then has displayed some guilt....

... Now, this all could be just purely because he does not want me to see the conversation however innocent it may be !

But this is a 12 year old boy and a 10 year old  girl and they are my children and I am entrusted with their care.

Your point
quote:
without covertly compromising their privacy
is a whole new topic.

I would say a ten & twelve year do not have the luxury of complete privacy whilst they are my children, in my home and under my care ! Though they do benefit from privacy but it's scope is limited.

Men are the same as women, just inside out !
 

Offline Carolyn

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 3761
    • View Profile
Re: Computer Help...keeping an eye on kids !
« Reply #10 on: 09/05/2006 04:35:56 »
quote:
Originally posted by Laith

I agree with most of what was said here, but i cant stop thinking that i myself (and probably everyone else here) used to say or write things that i wouldnt want my parents or even my friends sometimes to see, things that my dad might not like, or things that could be embarrassing, but we still turned out to be okay, i wouldnt mind my kids to grow up like me even though i wasnt a perfect kid

Laith



Reasonable parents realize that their children are going to say and do things they shouldn't. We/I don't get bent out of shape when I hear them say something bad, or express an opinion I don't agree with, or even plan to do something I don't approve of. We expect our children to make mistakes and hope they learn from them.  Learning and recovering from mistakes help make us productive adults.  Unfortunately, there are some mistakes our children can make that they can never recover from.  These mistakes can cost them their innocence and sometimes, their very lives.  The goal is to keep them safe and protected as best we can, using whatever tools we deem necessary.  

quote:

I appreciate your suggestion. I will ask them to let me see a token page or two. How ever, there are times when I have walked in the room and my son has acted with alacrity to hide the page and then has displayed some guilt....

Neil this is exactly how it happened with my son.  You know the story.  I was mortified when I realized what was happening.  Go with your gut.

quote:
But this is a 12 year old boy and a 10 year old girl and they are my children and I am entrusted with their care.

Your point
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
without covertly compromising their privacy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

is a whole new topic.

I would say a ten & twelve year do not have the luxury of complete privacy whilst they are my children, in my home and under my care ! Though they do benefit from privacy but it's scope is limited.


I wholeheartedly agree.  Great minds think alike.:D

quote:
MSN chat log is OK but easy to disable - and it won't record what's going on elsewhere. Download & install a keylogger (or, better still, a program that intercepts & logs all text that's sent to the monitor from the local keyboard or from the net). They won't even know it's running and you can spy on everything that goes on. <sneaky grin>


I've just recently heard about this.  My son has been begging me to allow internet in his room.  I am considering it, since he is always on my computer, and it's really becoming inconvenient.  Since he has already been in trouble because of his internet behavior, the only way I would do it is to install this keylogger program.

Carolyn




 

Offline Karen W.

  • Moderator
  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *****
  • Posts: 31653
  • Thanked: 5 times
  • "come fly with me"
    • View Profile
Re: Computer Help...keeping an eye on kids !
« Reply #11 on: 14/05/2006 06:04:38 »
Hey Neil, I totally agree with your decision and have done the same in my home. We are responsible for not only their safety but for social well being at this age also. They need guidence at this age as well as privacy. You have to play it by ear, every child is different. You will do well Sir! Please keep right on protecting those kiddies, preditors are out there in so many different forms! Be safe they are your life too!....Karen
 

Offline Laith

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 164
    • View Profile
Re: Computer Help...keeping an eye on kids !
« Reply #12 on: 14/05/2006 06:23:38 »
quote:
Originally posted by Carolyn


Reasonable parents realize that their children are going to say and do things they shouldn't. We/I don't get bent out of shape when I hear them say something bad, or express an opinion I don't agree with, or even plan to do something I don't approve of. We expect our children to make mistakes and hope they learn from them.  Learning and recovering from mistakes help make us productive adults.  Unfortunately, there are some mistakes our children can make that they can never recover from.  These mistakes can cost them their innocence and sometimes, their very lives.  The goal is to keep them safe and protected as best we can, using whatever tools we deem necessary.  




I think you are right, and you speak from experience. Thanks i will put that in mind when/if i raise my own kids :)

Laith
« Last Edit: 14/05/2006 06:25:57 by Laith »
 

Offline neilep

  • Withdrawnmist
  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 20602
  • Thanked: 8 times
    • View Profile
Re: Computer Help...keeping an eye on kids !
« Reply #13 on: 14/05/2006 13:53:26 »
To the sound of James Bond music stuff !!

13 hundred hours wifeys calls son down to talk about homework.

13.01 neil swings through window into sons room from outside, wipes off bird poo that landed on his face whilst waiting outside room, trips over cuddly toy !

13.02 accesses son's MSN and clicks ' record dialogue'

13.02 and 30 seconds tries to escape through window again but neil's too old for all this espionage stuff and so just casually walks out of room limping like an old geezer...but he does tip toe and act like a secret agent ! after repairing window and kissing cuddly toy better.

13.04 Son returns to room to find nothing has changed

13.04 and thirty seconds...neil returns to study down stairs looks into camera and winks.....music starts, Shirley Bassey starts to sing a medley of James Bond themes includings  Dr (I must) Know (what is happening on MSN) and From Msn With Love !! and The Man With The MSN Son !!:)

Ok...that's all silly but I have managed to get MSN to save the dialogues...I am treating this seriously of course and at the same time do not want to tread on the ' privacy toes' of my children. To be honest, I am not that worried...and will probably just leave it a week or two and then see if I can have a quick look. I will not turn this into a regime or get into a panic about this.  I really appreciate everybody's advice...I have taken all points of view on board....I hope to let you all know that I was unnecessarily concerned.

thanks all.

Men are the same as women, just inside out !
 

Offline Karen W.

  • Moderator
  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *****
  • Posts: 31653
  • Thanked: 5 times
  • "come fly with me"
    • View Profile
Re: Computer Help...keeping an eye on kids !
« Reply #14 on: 25/05/2006 15:07:53 »
Hey Neil, hows it going with the kids and the computer? I was thinking it had been a bit so I hope it is good with them. The computer can sure be a great learning tool if you continue to monitor it. I think you are doing great! I hope it is working out ok.
 

Offline neilep

  • Withdrawnmist
  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • Posts: 20602
  • Thanked: 8 times
    • View Profile
Re: Computer Help...keeping an eye on kids !
« Reply #15 on: 25/05/2006 15:26:28 »
KAREN..THANK YOU....your timing is excellent ,just like you...*Neil indulges in mutual love fest with Karen*...awwwww !!

It just so happens that only last night did I manage another sortie into secret agent life and I was able to read the dialogues since I set it in motion !!..

I am delighted to report that there is nothing there that I would consider sinister in any way.


I really appreciate everybody's responses and I feel relieved to discover that there is no need to worry. I am pleased I did what I did...if for anything...it has given me peace of mind.

I suppose the next question is...do I check again in a few weeks or just leave things be ?.. (actually I know the answer (for me)...I think I need to check again but also be aware that I don't want to turn this into a habit)


Thank you for asking Karen...mwah mwah !!



Men are the same as women, just inside out !
 

Offline Karen W.

  • Moderator
  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *****
  • Posts: 31653
  • Thanked: 5 times
  • "come fly with me"
    • View Profile
Re: Computer Help...keeping an eye on kids !
« Reply #16 on: 26/05/2006 16:03:11 »
You know Neil, When my oldest son was about fourteen, we bought our first computer. He loved it and was fascinated by it. I never thought much about other things untill one day I was down in the barn storing some old things I had boxed up. I have two barns kind of joined together, there's one at the back side of my property. The front door of backbarn faces back door of front barn, joined by a sinle wall on the north to shelter from rain.You have to step down out of one and back up into the other to access each. They are both on a block and pier foundation. Anyway, when I steped down from the back barn step I could see under the front barns foundation,and what I saw was  a whole lot of toilet paperwaded up under the barn and a roll placed in a safe spot sitting on the pier.

   I immediately thought, hmmm, those little stinkers are going to the bathroom out here instead of walking back up to the house! So I promptly reached down to take the unused roll of toilet paper up to the house and give those children a piece of my mind, when I saw a pile of white computer paper. I reached over and picked it up, It was positioned as if it were hidden! I was so shocked as to the content of said papers and then My mind jumped back to the tissue scattered under said barn and I must have turned completely red, as I realized my baby was no longer a baby!

   He had printed many pictures of many ladies in many positions and stages of dress, or lack of dress. I must of stood there for a half hour trying to figure out what I should do as my skills with children of this age had been few. SO weather or not I was correct, I took said pictures up to house and placed them on said childs bed with the roll of t.p. Then I waited for a reaction.

   When he came home, I did not say anything other then go get your homework done before dinner! He did not come up for dinner, and he did not come out before bed, so then I went down to see him. I said did you get these off from our computer, he said yes, I said ok. I said, Hey you know these pictures I left you, I don't want you printing these in my house ok? He said ok. I said I know you are a young healthy man, but there is a time and place for this and outside under the barn is not it. No shame about a natural part of growing up. I talked to him about how I felt about pictures like that and told him he would have to wait to have things like that when he was older. I talked to him about the kinds of pictures that were acceptable in his room. I allowed him to have posters of very beautiful women in short shorts, bikinis etc. But no full on nudity. He was ok with that and I felt better as this was something I felt I could handle also. We talked about being respectful to women and all of the normal things you could imagine.

   Then I made him clean up his litter pile the next day, and pointed him in the direction of the bathroom or the privacy of his own room. Things went smoothly after that. He has grown to be a very nice respectfull young man that I can be proud of. I still wonder if I should have handled it any different. I really just wanted to keep his dignity in tack. We never said any more untill one day my youngest realized how the scanner worked and scanned his face his bottom and the layed on it and did a frontal view. He was about 9 or 10 years old. I kept that one and when he turned 16 I gave it back to him as a joke and we all laughed and had a fun time teasing him and my eldest about the things you do when you are so young!

  Everything turned out ok, but you really do have to be careful, especially with all the sexual preditors out there. You never know!

   I would check periodically as children grow up and explore. It will happen you just don't know when, and when it does, handle with dignity and try to keep to your values. You seem to have an open mind I am sure you will make the right decisions for whatever situation you or your children are in. You'll do fine. You did the right thing!
...................Karen
« Last Edit: 26/05/2006 16:13:54 by Karen W. »
 

The Naked Scientists Forum

Re: Computer Help...keeping an eye on kids !
« Reply #16 on: 26/05/2006 16:03:11 »

 

SMF 2.0.10 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines
SMFAds for Free Forums
 
Login
Login with username, password and session length