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Author Topic: Murder of a cockatiel  (Read 5285 times)

Offline DoctorBeaver

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Murder of a cockatiel
« on: 17/05/2006 06:16:30 »
I suspect the abovementioned act is imminent. Allow me to explain.
Rocky the cockatiel has been a bit under the weather just lately so we took him to a specialist avian vet today.
I've also been feeling a bit rough for a few days (laboured breathing, lost my voice, achey, headaches) so I've booked a appointment with the doc for Thursday.
It now seems the 2 may be connected. The man of vetish persuasion thinks Rocky may have psitticosis, which is a respiratory infection that can be passed to humans & can lead to pneumonia & death. Although this is very rare, I have a serious lung condition anyway so I am particularly susceptible.
I'm not overly happy with young Rocky (who is staying overnight with the vet, Mr Extortionately-Priced, for tests). We shall know by 6pm tomorrow.
So far the vet's bill stands at 115 - 25 consultation fee, 20 for taking blood & urine samples, and 70 for the psitticosis test. There will also be tomorrow's consultation fee & the cost of any medication (which, according to internet sources, is "expensive & prolonged").
In future I shall be sticking to dogs - they're cheaper & don't give me nasty illnesses! grrrrrrr @ parrot-type things. [:(!]

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ROBERT

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Re: Murder of a cockatiel
« Reply #1 on: 17/05/2006 15:11:38 »
If Rocky does not make it, his demise will provide you with an oppertunity to perform the "dead parrot sketch" :).

"This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace!  'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!! ".
http://www.mtholyoke.edu/~ebarnes/python/dead-parrot.htm

« Last Edit: 17/05/2006 15:12:38 by ROBERT »
 

Offline JimBob

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Re: Murder of a cockatiel
« Reply #2 on: 17/05/2006 16:21:51 »
Being the person of exceedingly high standards that the good doctor is, I find it higly unlikely that the dead parrot sketch will ensue.

The reason -  a deceased Norwegian Blue is scripted.





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ROBERT

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Re: Murder of a cockatiel
« Reply #3 on: 17/05/2006 17:50:54 »
quote:
Originally posted by DoctorBeaver

So far the vet's bill stands at 115 - 25 consultation fee, 20 for taking blood & urine samples, and 70 for the psitticosis test. There will also be tomorrow's consultation fee & the cost of any medication (which, according to internet sources, is "expensive & prolonged").


It may be cheaper to have Rocky stuffed:-

" The following prices are a guide for a customer providing their own specimen.

 UK Taxidermy Price List 2004  
Sparrow, Finch  135.00   Mallard 300.00  
Kingfisher  155.00   Heron  440.00  
Song Thrush  165.00   Goose (graylag)  450.00  
Magpie, Jay, Partridge  195.00   Owl, Kestrel etc.  225.00  
Grouse, Woodcock  220.00   Buzzard  375.00  
Pheasant 240.00   Peregrine  425.00  
Snipe  200.00    Eagle  POA   "
http://www.taxidermy.co.uk/assets/taxidermy_pricing.htm#Prices
« Last Edit: 17/05/2006 17:54:13 by ROBERT »
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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Re: Murder of a cockatiel
« Reply #4 on: 18/05/2006 17:13:12 »
Robert - all taken on board & could prove useful. Thank you.

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Offline time-cop

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Re: Murder of a cockatiel
« Reply #5 on: 18/05/2006 23:56:00 »
oh dear,poor misguided doctor B,
you say in your post that a dog would be cheaper,fraid not,if you have dogs,mr extortionately-priced becomes mr drive a brand new merc every month and holiday in the seycheles twice annually,they will rip you off almost as much as mr blair,and i know how much you like him ! ![^]

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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Re: Murder of a cockatiel
« Reply #6 on: 19/05/2006 00:07:43 »
quote:
Originally posted by time-cop

oh dear,poor misguided doctor B,
you say in your post that a dog would be cheaper,fraid not,if you have dogs,mr extortionately-priced becomes mr drive a brand new merc every month and holiday in the seycheles twice annually,they will rip you off almost as much as mr blair,and i know how much you like him ! ![^]

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oh dear, poor misguided time-cop (aka Ray)
I've had dogs all my life (not like that, you dirty perv! [:(!]) and I can assure you they are cheaper unless something serious goes wrong. I saw Mr Extortionately-Priced getting into his brand new BMW 540 yesterday. The other car in a reserved parking bay in the surgery carpark was a Boxter which I subsequently found out belongs to the JUNIOR!My dog vet drives a prehistoric Landrover Discovery.
As for your mentioning Mr (yuk spit) Blair, do you really want to see me go psycho? Do you? Eh? Eh? <mumblemumbleTonyBlairmumblemumble2-facedlyingbast**dmumblemumblegrrrrrrrrr>

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« Last Edit: 19/05/2006 00:09:00 by DoctorBeaver »
 

Offline time-cop

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Re: Murder of a cockatiel
« Reply #7 on: 19/05/2006 00:17:47 »
we used to have a german shepheard and a rabbit,the rabbit used to rip the hell out of the dog,cost us a fortune in merc driver fee`s.
as for mentioning the chief pratt,i appologise un-reservedly for causing anyone any distress,or upset,it was a momentary lapse in concentration[V]

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« Last Edit: 19/05/2006 00:19:30 by time-cop »
 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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Re: Murder of a cockatiel
« Reply #8 on: 20/05/2006 12:33:39 »
Apology accepted :)

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Offline time-cop

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Re: Murder of a cockatiel
« Reply #9 on: 20/05/2006 20:21:00 »
i wont mention his name again doc !

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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Re: Murder of a cockatiel
« Reply #10 on: 20/05/2006 23:14:37 »
grrrrrRRRRRRRRRRR [:(!]

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Offline time-cop

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Re: Murder of a cockatiel
« Reply #11 on: 21/05/2006 12:04:52 »
this is our dog enjoying his visit to the merc driver !



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Offline neilep

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Re: Murder of a cockatiel
« Reply #12 on: 21/05/2006 13:46:38 »
WELL ETH !!...what were the results for Rocky and how are YOU ?

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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Re: Murder of a cockatiel
« Reply #13 on: 21/05/2006 23:00:06 »
Mr Extortionatley-Priced didn't do the psitticosis test after all as Rocky appeared to improve just on the injections he was given. I'm on a course of antibiotics just to be safe & steroids to help clean my lungs out.

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Re: Murder of a cockatiel
« Reply #13 on: 21/05/2006 23:00:06 »

 

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