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Author Topic: How do I launder the fabric of space/time?  (Read 2504 times)

Offline cheryl j

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How do I launder the fabric of space/time?
« on: 26/03/2013 03:38:53 »
Should I use the gentle cycle or permanent press? Will it shrink if I leave it in the dryer too long?


 

Offline bizerl

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Re: How do I launder the fabric of space/time?
« Reply #1 on: 26/03/2013 04:50:49 »
It will shrink if the dryer rotates at close to the speed of light.

When ironing anything made from space-time, you need an iron that removes all mass, including dark matter. Any mass will just cause creasing.
 

Offline cheryl j

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Re: How do I launder the fabric of space/time?
« Reply #2 on: 26/03/2013 05:53:09 »
There's an awful lot of quantum foam in the bottom of my washer. I probably should have taken the fabric of space-time to the laundromat and used one of those really big machines.
 

Offline evan_au

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Re: How do I launder the fabric of space/time?
« Reply #3 on: 26/03/2013 07:02:40 »
It seems to be made of some stretchy fabric. Does this require a special cycle?
 

Offline lightarrow

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Re: How do I launder the fabric of space/time?
« Reply #4 on: 26/03/2013 13:02:46 »
There's an awful lot of quantum foam in the bottom of my washer. I probably should have taken the fabric of space-time to the laundromat and used one of those really big machines.
Next time try to avoid the "Planck" brand of washing machine.
 

Offline cheryl j

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Re: How do I launder the fabric of space/time?
« Reply #5 on: 26/03/2013 18:11:20 »
I added some bleach and it got rid of some of the dark matter, but I was afraid if I used too much, the fabric of space-time would unravel and I'd end up with a bunch of strings.
 

Offline lightarrow

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Re: How do I launder the fabric of space/time?
« Reply #6 on: 26/03/2013 19:27:11 »
No problem, strings are always connected to branes.
 

Offline evan_au

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Re: How do I launder the fabric of space/time?
« Reply #7 on: 26/03/2013 19:52:02 »
Saul Perlmutter thinks the elastic is failing, and the waistline is getting looser.
 

Offline yor_on

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Re: How do I launder the fabric of space/time?
« Reply #8 on: 27/03/2013 16:09:16 »
Ahh Cheryl, will you then, at last, reveal your real name?
And it must be one big laundry machine, thinking of it.
 

Offline Pincho

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Re: How do I launder the fabric of space/time?
« Reply #9 on: 27/03/2013 21:20:51 »
You take it to a Casino, and put it all on Red. Then cash in.. nobody will know.
 

Offline Pmb

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Re: How do I launder the fabric of space/time?
« Reply #10 on: 27/03/2013 21:23:57 »
Should I use the gentle cycle or permanent press? Will it shrink if I leave it in the dryer too long?
Permant press. Also, don't forget the fabric softener. :)
 

Offline bizerl

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Re: How do I launder the fabric of space/time?
« Reply #11 on: 27/03/2013 21:39:14 »
I find no matter how delicate the cycle is, I always get those pesky 11 dimensional knots in it. (or is it up to 12 now?) ???
 

Offline evan_au

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Re: How do I launder the fabric of space/time?
« Reply #12 on: 28/03/2013 11:01:01 »
Recent results from Planck suggest that this fabric is a bit older than previously believed...

I hope it doesn't start fraying around the edges..
 

Offline bizerl

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Re: How do I launder the fabric of space/time?
« Reply #13 on: 28/03/2013 12:47:58 »
Recent results from Planck suggest that this fabric is a bit older than previously believed...

I hope it doesn't start fraying around the edges..

I can never find the edges. Which makes folding it a challenge.
 

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Re: How do I launder the fabric of space/time?
« Reply #14 on: 28/03/2013 19:39:14 »
There's an awful lot of quantum foam in the bottom of my washer. I probably should have taken the fabric of space-time to the laundromat and used one of those really big machines.
Next time try to avoid the "Planck" brand of washing machine.
Planck washing machines recommend Planck washing powder to hopefully avoid those singularities forming in the fabric.
 

Offline evan_au

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Re: How do I launder the fabric of space/time?
« Reply #15 on: 31/03/2013 22:04:23 »
Euclid raised a question about the fabric of spacetime: Assuming the individual threads can be extended indefinitely in a straight line...
  • Pick one of these threads
  • Select a point in the fabric, but not on the original thread
  • How many threads can pass through that point, but not cross the original thread, no matter how far you extended it?
  • Euclid thought he knew the answer: 1
  • Subsequently, others have suggested alternative answers like:
  • 0: if the fabric of spacetime is shaped like a T-shirt
  • or ∞: if the fabric of spacetime is shaped like a saddle
  • See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-Euclidean_geometry
Maybe this is just retribution for all those who washed out of Euclidean Geometry?
 

Offline yamo

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Re: How do I launder the fabric of space/time?
« Reply #16 on: 01/04/2013 14:47:31 »
Remember to wash your red shifts separately!
 

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Re: How do I launder the fabric of space/time?
« Reply #16 on: 01/04/2013 14:47:31 »

 

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