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Author Topic: What is love and how do u know it is real?  (Read 41413 times)

Offline 4getmenot

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #25 on: 09/08/2006 00:36:41 »
Seems like the busiest time in the bathroom is when I want to take a bath.....that just seems to always work out when everyone just wants to come in and talk...why is that???lolool...

k
 

Offline moonfire

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #26 on: 09/08/2006 04:27:44 »
You have kids right K?  Yep!  Same here...kid still bugs me when I am in the bathroom...he is 19 this Saturday!  LOL

"Lo" Loretta
 

Offline 4getmenot

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #27 on: 11/08/2006 04:34:28 »
lol....19??? yep, well i guess it doesn't stop then??? so i guess i CAN'T look forward to it getting any better...lol

k
 

Offline moonfire

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #28 on: 11/08/2006 07:27:12 »
Psssst, K...I don't want my kid to see this so I am going to let you in on a secret...it is when they have moved out...LOCK the door, quick before they change their mind...awww, bubblebaths, candlelight, mozart, vin, and a daydream or two...oh, darn..my mom lives in my condo too!  Awww, send her on a vacation...and enjoy peace and quiet...oh, crudola...there is a cat who needs to be fed...glaring at me as if he knows I want to be left alone...cage him up in birdcage with Tweetie pie...let the strongest one win on the patio of course...back to my fantasy...sorry have to go...phone is ringing!  Drats!  Can't everyone leave me alone for a moment or two???

"Lo" Loretta
 

Offline lightarrow

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #29 on: 11/08/2006 09:51:51 »
About Love, (by the way, this is the most important thing of life, to me) I feel there are many (maybe infinite?) kinds of it; when someone says, for example that, love between 14 y.o. boy and girl is only "childish" love, I don't agree with them. Can we judge what Love really is? Can we judge other's people feelings?
I was 26 when I fell in love for a girl the first time. Unfortunately, her intentions were not what she made me believe they were. She was much more experienced than me in love affairs (and also intelligent and smart). When she left me, and it was the worst experience of my life, she said I was didn't "really" love her, I was only idealizing her image. The reality is that she didn't really love me, she only wanted someone to play with, but I realized it only some months later (it was impossible for me to accept this idea immediately).

I don't think love can be something objective; if it was, would it still be love?
Indeed, I have never been in love so deep again in my life; I would like to repeat an experience of that kind (but with the right person, this time).

Love to you all.

Alberto.
 

another_someone

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #30 on: 11/08/2006 12:31:46 »
quote:
Originally posted by lightarrow
About Love, (by the way, this is the most important thing of life, to me) I feel there are many (maybe infinite?) kinds of it; when someone says, for example that, love between 14 y.o. boy and girl is only "childish" love, I don't agree with them. Can we judge what Love really is? Can we judge other's people feelings?



As I said above, the word love is used to describe a very substantial proportion of the range of human emotions.

I assume what people are mostly focussing on is romantic love.

Even within that context, there is no reason why anyone who has gone through puberty cannot feel the emotions of romantic love (in past centuries, people would even be marrying at that age).

quote:


I was 26 when I fell in love for a girl the first time. Unfortunately, her intentions were not what she made me believe they were. She was much more experienced than me in love affairs (and also intelligent and smart). When she left me, and it was the worst experience of my life, she said I was didn't "really" love her, I was only idealizing her image. The reality is that she didn't really love me, she only wanted someone to play with, but I realized it only some months later (it was impossible for me to accept this idea immediately).



I do agree that there is a naivety about a first love that can never be repeated on subsequent occasions.

I think love does depend on an element of idealisation, but the question is whether the two parties are willing to co-operate in perpetuating that fiction.



George
 

Offline 4getmenot

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #31 on: 20/08/2006 16:43:31 »
so all love is real? Only as you grow it changes and becomes a diffeent kind of love? so again..how do you know which one is the "THE" one?

k
 

Offline lightarrow

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #32 on: 20/08/2006 20:12:22 »
quote:
Originally posted by 4getmenot

so all love is real? Only as you grow it changes and becomes a diffeent kind of love? so again..how do you know which one is the "THE" one?


Because you believe it.
 

another_someone

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #33 on: 20/08/2006 21:35:36 »
quote:
Originally posted by 4getmenot

so all love is real? Only as you grow it changes and becomes a diffeent kind of love? so again..how do you know which one is the "THE" one?

k



Is there a 'THE ONE' - I don't think so.  It is often a case of someone who is approximately right who just happens to be at the right time and the right place, and then both parties agree that they will put the work in to make the relationship work and grow.  It could just as easily have been any one of a million other people, but they were not there at the time.

Clearly, there are many people who would be the wrong one, but I don't think there is only one person who could have been the right one.



George
 

Offline moonfire

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #34 on: 20/08/2006 23:55:55 »
I call it the "acceptable one" not Mr. Right, not Mr. Perfect...my expectations would of course, set someone up to fail...

"Lo" Loretta
 

Offline 4getmenot

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #35 on: 21/08/2006 15:20:01 »
quote:
Originally posted by another_someone

quote:
Originally posted by 4getmenot

so all love is real? Only as you grow it changes and becomes a diffeent kind of love? so again..how do you know which one is the "THE" one?

k



Is there a 'THE ONE' - I don't think so.  It is often a case of someone who is approximately right who just happens to be at the right time and the right place, and then both parties agree that they will put the work in to make the relationship work and grow.  It could just as easily have been any one of a million other people, but they were not there at the time.

Clearly, there are many people who would be the wrong one, but I don't think there is only one person who could have been the right one.



George




so when you meet someone and get that feeling yo have "never" felt before not sure what the feeling is and you assume it is love at first sight...it could have been the same feeling had it been any one of those other million people?? it was just that that person was "there" at the "right" time??/

k
 

Offline neilep

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #36 on: 21/08/2006 18:15:03 »
I think the naivety of a first love IS repeated many times...One can just be plain predisposed to a naive nature...so. not just in matters of the heart but in matters of all....in fact..unless one Knows they are experiencing true love I think we are all naive in our perception of it.

The thing is...love is such a complex subject fraught with many avenues and branches of extremes and subtleties that no one really ever does know the definition....and yet....as Humans....boy do we like to talk about it...write about it..sing about it...in fact...a lot of the human experience is spent in matters of love...art..literature..philosophy...science forums....

...except....well...I think only you know when you are in love....

.......if you have to question it ? ..well..maybe you still could be in love but not realise it..........

.......Like has been said here ...love is subjective...but then so is every other emotion you can think of....even our senses are subjective and unless you experience love (and I am referring to the romantic love) then THAT is when you find your own definition of love is.

Some people shy away from love....they don't want it...perhaps they have suffered greatly because of love....maybe they do not wish the loss of control...of their individuality...

...for some Love is a trap....love is a cage...it's a loss of freedom...concentration...a madness !

It's bizarre that such a beautiful thing can cause so many extremes in other emotions too...

..can any one of us ever be sure of any feelings that we have ?

Men are the same as women, just inside out !
 

Offline time-cop

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #37 on: 21/08/2006 20:23:58 »
quote:
After reading this, I want to fall in love again! LOL Thanks Bren!



hey, what you doin saturday "lo" :D [}:)]

all in one place
http://www.p-r-travel.co.uk
 

Offline neilep

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #38 on: 21/08/2006 20:41:54 »
quote:
Originally posted by time-cop

quote:
After reading this, I want to fall in love again! LOL Thanks Bren!



hey, what you doin saturday "lo" :D [}:)]

all in one place
http://www.p-r-travel.co.uk



I don't know about LO...but I'm free on Saturday !! *blows him a kiss*  :D

Men are the same as women, just inside out !
 

Offline time-cop

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #39 on: 21/08/2006 21:09:10 »
i`ll book a limo, and motel

all in one place
http://www.p-r-travel.co.uk
 

Offline moonfire

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #40 on: 22/08/2006 05:05:19 »
Oh my!  I see that there are cops and robbers loosely running around here...stealing some words and funning with me..oh, babe..this saturday night I can be free...if you can lose Denny, we can run around the fountains and play...hehe  Neilsy, you are such a thief!  LOL  Okay I will share him with you...or do you want to come out and play too?

"Lo" Loretta
 

Offline 4getmenot

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #41 on: 25/08/2006 01:23:08 »
I hear a party starting...and i "love" it...lol

k
 

Offline moonfire

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #42 on: 25/08/2006 01:52:23 »
K, there is plenty to go around...don't you feel love in the air now...awwwww, scratch that, it is only a fantasy!  Never wake me up out of it!

"Lo" Loretta
 

Offline 4getmenot

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #43 on: 25/08/2006 06:01:02 »
lol....i see that and i promise not to...(for now) he he

k
 

Offline 4getmenot

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #44 on: 25/08/2006 01:23:08 »
I hear a party starting...and i "love" it...lol

k
 

Offline moonfire

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #45 on: 25/08/2006 01:52:23 »
K, there is plenty to go around...don't you feel love in the air now...awwwww, scratch that, it is only a fantasy!  Never wake me up out of it!

"Lo" Loretta
 

Offline 4getmenot

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #46 on: 25/08/2006 06:01:02 »
lol....i see that and i promise not to...(for now) he he

k
 

Offline moonfire

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #47 on: 25/08/2006 06:24:05 »
Here you go K!  Something special I wrote on a few minutes ago thinking about the way my perspective is...ick!  LOL

When we fall in love with someone or make a new friend, we sometimes see that person in a glowing light. Their good qualities dominate the foreground of our perception and their negative qualities. They just don't seem to have any. This temporary state of grace is commonly known as putting someone on a pedestal. Often times we put spiritual leaders and our gurus on pedestals. We have all done this to someone at one time or another, and as long as we remember that no one is actually "perfect," the pedestal phase of a relationship can be enjoyed for what it is-a phase. It's when we actually believe our own projection that troubles arise.

Everyone has problems, flaws, and blind spots, just as we do. When we entertain the illusion that someone is perfect, we don't allow them room to be human, so when they make an error in judgment or act in contradiction to our idea of perfection, we become disillusioned. We may get angry or distance ourselves in response. In the end, they are not to blame for the fact that we idealized them. Granted, they may have enjoyed seeing themselves as perfect through our eyes, but we are the ones who chose to believe an illusion. If you go through this process enough times, you learn that no one is perfect. We are all a combination of divine and human qualities and we all struggle. When we treat the people we love with this awareness, we actually allow for a much greater intimacy than when we held them aloft on an airy throne. The moment you see through your idealized projection is the moment you begin to see your loved one as he or she truly is.

We cannot truly connect with a person when we idealize them. In life, there are no pedestals-we are all walking on the same ground together. When we realize this, we can own our own divinity and our humanity. This is the key to balance and wholeness within ourselves and our relationships.

"Lo" Loretta
 

Offline lightarrow

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #48 on: 25/08/2006 09:27:06 »
quote:
Originally posted by moonfire
...The moment you see through your idealized projection is the moment you begin to see your loved one as he or she truly is...

I don't agree. I accept the fact that the way we see another person can change, you could say "it evolves". But we can never see how our loved one really is. Objectivity doesn't apply here.
 

Offline thayo

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #49 on: 25/08/2006 09:57:23 »
love is bidirectional feature of a living being as the real love is seen when there is reciprocation of love/.

lets keep trying the untried since the birth of science innovations have been like  toy but their impacts have rocked the world
 

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #49 on: 25/08/2006 09:57:23 »

 

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