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Author Topic: What is love and how do u know it is real?  (Read 41401 times)

another_someone

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #50 on: 25/08/2006 12:25:45 »
quote:
Originally posted by lightarrow

quote:
Originally posted by moonfire
...The moment you see through your idealized projection is the moment you begin to see your loved one as he or she truly is...

I don't agree. I accept the fact that the way we see another person can change, you could say "it evolves". But we can never see how our loved one really is. Objectivity doesn't apply here.



This is probably true of anything we only see things filtered through our emotions and our expectations which is why eye witness reports are always so unreliable as objective evidence.



George
 

another_someone

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #51 on: 25/08/2006 12:29:04 »
quote:
Originally posted by thayo
love is bidirectional feature of a living being as the real love is seen when there is reciprocation of love



Is it?

It is very difficult to sustain love if it is not reciprocated, but a parent may continue to love their child even if it is not reciprocated.



George
 

Offline moonfire

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #52 on: 25/08/2006 14:06:48 »
quote:
Originally posted by lightarrow

quote:
Originally posted by moonfire
...The moment you see through your idealized projection is the moment you begin to see your loved one as he or she truly is...

I don't agree. I accept the fact that the way we see another person can change, you could say "it evolves". But we can never see how our loved one really is. Objectivity doesn't apply here.



You can never see how your loved one really is???  hmm, true one one side of the coin, but is it really evolving???  I think it is the same as this person really is the same as before, but changed for a moment and returns to whom they really are...they have not changed.  Just my perception which maybe jaded at the moment...

"Lo" Loretta
« Last Edit: 25/08/2006 14:09:01 by moonfire »
 

Offline thayo

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #53 on: 28/08/2006 18:50:37 »
Loretta, human beings could changed but the environment where geniune love prevails, it stands to be invulnerable, appreciate this with me

lets keep trying the untried since the birth of science innovations have been like  toy but their impacts have rocked the world
 

Offline Karen W.

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #54 on: 01/09/2006 00:29:03 »
I love,Love,and know nobody anywhere that doesnt like or enjoy some form of love. I married when I was 20 to a man 27, we had dated 1 year and lived together one year. We thought we were so in love. And indeed we loved each other and still do, but there was never passion or real Romantic love with  the exception of the 1rst year that spark and romance that some need just wasn't there and never has been.

  The minds comming together in mutual respect and like. I was never giddy, but nervous yes as experiences in my past had left me nervous with men in general. We spent all our time together but rarely talking. Mostly cuddling and being affectionate. All great but we never got inside each others head as one should do that when they find their true love. To this day 25 years into my marraige my husband cannot go out and order a meal or buy a gift or even remember my birthday or our wedding Anniversary. It does me a disservice that in all these years, he does not know me any better then that.
  Someone who knows you and can say honey please don't cry, and not even be able to hear you or know from seeing that you have begun to cry...someone that knows your heart and and knows how you are going to react to something before you say it....its really extrordinary when you think about it... that doesnt come from years of being together, It simply comes from true love and understanding of your partner. Knowing whats in there hearts because you have taken the time to listen and and hear what lies inside of them....  Everyone has their own private thoughts and we can never know every one, but we indeed , like the seasons have our own way of developing feelings of love evolving regularly. Changing like the seasons  love has many faces and it comes in so many ways to each of us. We must be faithful to our hearts. For if we don't we become bitter sad humans and pain lives deep inside of bitterness and eats away at you untill you have lost your self respect and repect for others too. You loose your focus your own  values and sight of your dreams. Everday functioning becomes difficult silence becomes  a prison and a dronning reminder of your unhappiness.. and heartache.

Karen
« Last Edit: 11/09/2006 14:01:06 by Karen W. »
 

Offline moonfire

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #55 on: 01/09/2006 01:56:30 »
quote:
Originally posted by thayo

Loretta, human beings could changed but the environment where geniune love prevails, it stands to be invulnerable, appreciate this with me

lets keep trying the untried since the birth of science innovations have been like  toy but their impacts have rocked the world



I do appreciate this with you and this is an interesting thought here Thayo!  Thanks!:)

"Lo" Loretta
 

Offline moonfire

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #56 on: 01/09/2006 02:01:06 »
Wow!  Karen, that is deep!  You described it very well as a marriage of friendly convenience.  I know love, have had love, but guess I cannot hold onto love.  For whatever reason, I think unrealistically some of us live in a fantasy world surrounding it...I don't believe in fairy tails and maybe my view is tainted because of my recent past relationship...but I go in with realistic expectations and when I view others from the outside, things look so perfect, so magical, and more...but I still wonder what is really behind that door if it is as true as they say...oh, well, if not then it is a lie they have to live with...

"Lo" Loretta
 

Offline Karen W.

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #57 on: 01/09/2006 00:29:03 »
I love,Love,and know nobody anywhere that doesnt like or enjoy some form of love. I married when I was 20 to a man 27, we had dated 1 year and lived together one year. We thought we were so in love. And indeed we loved each other and still do, but there was never passion or real Romantic love with  the exception of the 1rst year that spark and romance that some need just wasn't there and never has been.

  The minds comming together in mutual respect and like. I was never giddy, but nervous yes as experiences in my past had left me nervous with men in general. We spent all our time together but rarely talking. Mostly cuddling and being affectionate. All great but we never got inside each others head as one should do that when they find their true love. To this day 25 years into my marraige my husband cannot go out and order a meal or buy a gift or even remember my birthday or our wedding Anniversary. It does me a disservice that in all these years, he does not know me any better then that.
  Someone who knows you and can say honey please don't cry, and not even be able to hear you or know from seeing that you have begun to cry...someone that knows your heart and and knows how you are going to react to something before you say it....its really extrordinary when you think about it... that doesnt come from years of being together, It simply comes from true love and understanding of your partner. Knowing whats in there hearts because you have taken the time to listen and and hear what lies inside of them....  Everyone has their own private thoughts and we can never know every one, but we indeed , like the seasons have our own way of developing feelings of love evolving regularly. Changing like the seasons  love has many faces and it comes in so many ways to each of us. We must be faithful to our hearts. For if we don't we become bitter sad humans and pain lives deep inside of bitterness and eats away at you untill you have lost your self respect and repect for others too. You loose your focus your own  values and sight of your dreams. Everday functioning becomes difficult silence becomes  a prison and a dronning reminder of your unhappiness.. and heartache.

Karen
« Last Edit: 11/09/2006 14:01:06 by Karen W. »
 

Offline moonfire

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #58 on: 01/09/2006 01:56:30 »
quote:
Originally posted by thayo

Loretta, human beings could changed but the environment where geniune love prevails, it stands to be invulnerable, appreciate this with me

lets keep trying the untried since the birth of science innovations have been like  toy but their impacts have rocked the world



I do appreciate this with you and this is an interesting thought here Thayo!  Thanks!:)

"Lo" Loretta
 

Offline moonfire

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #59 on: 01/09/2006 02:01:06 »
Wow!  Karen, that is deep!  You described it very well as a marriage of friendly convenience.  I know love, have had love, but guess I cannot hold onto love.  For whatever reason, I think unrealistically some of us live in a fantasy world surrounding it...I don't believe in fairy tails and maybe my view is tainted because of my recent past relationship...but I go in with realistic expectations and when I view others from the outside, things look so perfect, so magical, and more...but I still wonder what is really behind that door if it is as true as they say...oh, well, if not then it is a lie they have to live with...

"Lo" Loretta
 

Offline Karen W.

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #60 on: 01/09/2006 03:32:05 »
IN deed It is. I can no longer live with it. I am not happy. I will stay but not under pretense. I know feelings are bad both sides I just would like to salvage the friendship!!

Karen
 

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #61 on: 01/09/2006 03:35:38 »
Wow!  You are good!  I am trying to at least get a friendship from Denny, but after having several talks he cannot accept anything less in our relationship than to be together...aagghh!

"Lo" Loretta
 

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #62 on: 01/09/2006 04:07:24 »
That is what I fear the most as I can't keep this up much more!

Karen
 

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #63 on: 01/09/2006 04:28:50 »
wow...

k
 

Offline moonfire

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #64 on: 01/09/2006 04:43:02 »
yep...sad, as I know i will truly miss his friendship, but we cannot mix oil and water

"Lo" Loretta
 

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #65 on: 01/09/2006 04:51:41 »
Did I offend you K? I hope not. Sorry more then you wanted to know?

Karen
 

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #66 on: 01/09/2006 09:15:12 »
I know things will be tense, he said before he left this week, plan out four hours for saterday ok!! What is with that?

 Loretta, I feel for you and Denny, I know this has been very hard and I too feel the same. 25 years is alot of time to just let go.. Thing is it isn't sudden the letting go has been happening since he cheated. He started the process and it has just taken me all these years to give up, I tried getting him to see a councelor , to talk about our problems, he said what problems we get along great! He has blinders on. He thinks the only problem we have ever had was his infidelity, but thats not true.. that only was the surface. he was unhappy he says he wasn't but you don't just go seeking love somewhere else if you are so happy! It doesnt work like that! Problems like not ever talking never saying goodmorning , goodnight honey, orI love you... Having to prod with a cattle prod to elicit the right response, I may as well set him up to a shock collar.. who wants to live with that where you constantly have to ask your sweetheart to love you.. my husband stepped out because his heart was never fully in our marraige. He wanted sex a companion when he came home a friend. I was young and thought that was what love was.. I even remember thinking am I in love shouldn't I feel something else. Nope I thought we have lived together for a year have a child comming and that must be that we are like old married couples.... man what a joke.Should have slammed the brakes on then! what was I thinking? Not much I think!~ I hope there is still hope to keep a friendship with him as he is a good man however misguided. I am not perfect either and it takes two to make or break a marraige. So we are both responsible. I just have to find a way to be able to live with myself and keep his heart safe too. He is my friend always has been!

Karen
« Last Edit: 11/09/2006 14:07:23 by Karen W. »
 

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #67 on: 01/09/2006 13:39:12 »
I understand Karen,it is so sad.  It is a difficult decision to make...but like myself, I have to break it off completely as I know his terms...I cannot accept it and he cannot accept mine..

"Lo" Loretta
 

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #68 on: 01/09/2006 17:38:43 »
I am proud that you have set your mind and are being firm about your decision.. I just wish maybe that I had not waited 25 years... we both could have had a happier life... but I really don't regreat , as I have three of the most beautiful children whom I love... and they do infact have his best qualities as well well as my worst! Some combo huh? There are things that have come to past but I need to know that was the way it was supposed to be for every thing there is a reason and I believe I have learned a great deal about my self as well as him and I.. It is a mistake to think that people don't change , because they do change.. The old qualities might still be there, but they have evolved in mind spirit and in many ways that are beyond understanding except to say life experiences change everyone and you cannot expect that to be any different.. Accepting all the new changes, now that's the trick, isn't it?

Karen
 

Offline moonfire

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #69 on: 01/09/2006 18:47:38 »
Yepperdoodle...it sure is!  My biggest issue is with my family learning to accept my decision was right for me as this was a relationship I would've had to live with the rest of my life...grant it, it would've been interesting trying to juggle time to live on both sides of the other world even though he has told me he is willing to give up his father's estate and come over here permanently he doesn't realize it is not enough...it wasn't an issue with location for me..it was on a whole different realm...as we really already had that worked out...?



"Lo" Loretta
 

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #70 on: 01/09/2006 19:51:07 »
So sorry Loretta I wish things could have been different, Love is strange sometimes and I guess things just happen because they do... People change Priorities are different people all need different levels of love. some need passsion fire romance some need a friend only or a companion.. Others who knows, Love is so funny and yet its so very important.. Even if the love you choose is to love your self and respect that, for some thts monumental!!

Karen
 

Offline moonfire

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #71 on: 02/09/2006 01:54:04 »
I hear ya!  Yep...I prefer passion, but companionship is awesome with it!

"Lo" Loretta
 

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #72 on: 02/09/2006 03:02:20 »
Well, I hope everything goes the way its supposed to for everyone and at least if things are resolved one way or the other, life will become much less complicated..

Karen
 

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #73 on: 02/09/2006 04:28:57 »
It is and it will!  It has no choice!  It has to leave!  I am a bit mad as I had a bit of manipulation with my cellie tonight...sorry if I sound a bit pissed....okay, I am!  No cellie as he wants to see who has called or is calling me...ooooo...awww, I feel better now!

"Lo" Loretta
 

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #74 on: 02/09/2006 05:19:05 »
So sorry Loretta. I guess he is really wearing out the welcome!! YIKES>>> Well let me know I would be happy to call you up babe, hows about a whittle date!!HEE HEE HEE!! WANNA SHAKE THINGS UP!!LOL Really it will be alright hang tough soon soon soon!! COUNT TO TEN, then do it again! Breath deeply, no hyperventilating... HA HA, never works for me, usually to upset to breath deep!

Karen
 

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Re: What is love and how do u know it is real?
« Reply #74 on: 02/09/2006 05:19:05 »

 

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