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Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #125 on: 17/12/2007 19:09:22 »
I spent the day yesterday posting and chatting with Ryan. I ran a fever all day. Wasn't feeling great but was ok. Rob came by around 5 to pick me up for the parade.. of course I was not ready cause the parade was not until 7:00 pm. LOL! So He watched TV while I curled my hair and changed from my night gown and robe to my clothes! LOL.. Its funny how we take for granted silly things like changing our clothes.. By the time I curled my hair I felt like I had run a city block just standing in one place.

Then getting my clothes changed was interesting.. I was out of breath by the time I made it to my shoes. So then of course I got sick had dry heaves and had to sit down for a few minutes.

Well by 6:15 I was ready..LOL pants rain boots scarf hat and gloves as it was raining and very windy. By the time we made it half way the rain had slowed to a light soft rain and the wind was mild. The sun had gone down well before. Rob pulled up to the bank in ferndale on the corner the parade would start and dropped me off as he had to park several blocks away.

The lights were beautiful in all the shops and the water from the rain made them sparkle and glisten even more. There were hundreds of people lining the streets with children laughing and full of excitement. The air was very crisp and it was cold. The wind we did have cutting through me like a knife! Brrrrrrr!

 I stood on the corner waiting for Bob for about twenty minutes , apparently the rain had delayed the parade people were having trouble with their light displays! LOL A few had half lit displays as their water problems had shorted some strings out! LOL..

We took many pictures but many were blurry, After a bit, I had to sit down and Bob took pictures too. We had to laugh as the young boys driving some of the tractors were driving so fast the camera flash was to slow to fire off second shots and some looked like brightly colored blurrs!

A good description of parts of my life. We decided to walk up the street to the big lit tree. Just crossing the street was hard. We had to stop and take pictures of window displays so I could rest. The people hustling by brought me to mind once again How much I took for granted. I love people hustle and bustle of Christmas but Last night was the longest walk I have had in my life. Every few steps I was winded into the first block I had to grab a street lamp. and I thanked god for the street lamp... waves of nausea spread over me.. and I waited feeling foolish hugging a lamp and retching with no air. It was so simple a task.. and I was failing miserably. Coughing like  someone with cancer..We walked some more and were still blocks away from the tree and Bob had to leave me behind and go on and take pictures and come back I had made about 4 or 5 blocks before I had to completely stop and we were walking in snail mode.
We crossed the street going back and it took us twice the time to get back to the bank corner. He said he would go get the car but I was afraid for him to leave me there the way I was. I was too shaky and still had dry heaves..... I sat back against the wet window ledge and we rested for twenty or so minutes.. Then we began the walk to the van..Robert got scared... but I told him to shut up and quite making me talk as it made it worse.. Every minute he would say .. are you ok tell me whats happening.. ? I wanted to clobber him.. I couldn't talk walk at the same time. It took forever to get to the Van then we sat for a long time  admiring the floats as they passed by the van on there ways back to the barns...The lights were wonderful. I was glad we seen them this year again. It is my favorite time of year.

We stopped and after I felt better we ate dinner in a Denny's and drove back 45 minute drive home.

I am so grateful for all the beautiful things I have seen in my life and simple things like walking to the loo or getting dressed and walking a few city blocks. I am thankful That even though it was hard I did it and even though it was not what it used to be ... at least there was something!

It hurt but I felt it! To feel things is good..It was good to breath in the cold air and feel the wind cutting through me like a knife.. To see people smiling and hear children laughing and crying..To see life happening around me and to realize that this was all part of life.. hurt pain joy elation happiness sadness and sorrow.How lucky we are to experience these things in any condition. How lucky we are that somewhere within ourselves we have these wonderful feelings and emotions and desires to live and see new things, meet new people, learn new things, and to learn to love the things we have been given and make the best of what we have. Life is a precious precious gift and sometimes we forget just how precious the smallest things can be.... and sometimes I think we need to remember to be Grateful for all the little things that make our world and our lives so wonderful..Its like each of us are a piece of a huge puzzle we all are part of each other, if one piece is removed from the heart of the puzzle the remaining pieces are still joined together to be strong and of support for all the others and life goes on with wonderful laughter and smiles and joy..memories. It is a beautiful thing life is.... Last night I saw how beautiful! Lets not take a single day for granted. Smile and enjoy every moment of your lives, Cause you just don't know how quickly it can all just disappear.Hugs all you wonderful Beautiful people in My world!
« Last Edit: 21/12/2009 11:06:56 by Karen W. »
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #126 on: 15/06/2008 13:29:25 »
Well here I am again... 4:55 am.. Having trouble sleeping again..... went to dinner with a couple we have known for many many years.. We had Italian food. It was good!

Visited a while at their house until Midnight. They are going to chauffeur me to Stanford medical when my appointments are all arranged.. Everyone tells me Stanford is one of the best! I hope they are ... I am counting on the best!

I will know this week, I hope, what the dates will be. I suspect I will go down for testing first. As I understand it, they do their own diagnostics... I suspect I will make a second trip, unless they decide to do everything in one swoop. I don't know. They said they don't want to operate here, because I am a high risk. Wouldn't it be better to do it now before I get worse! Although I feel like if it gets worse I am history! Anyway we will see soon. It makes me really nervous.. I am so confused as over the last two years they have treated me for tons of things and still have no positive diagnosis.. I have multiple problems and they don't know where it is coming from.. so I am aware of many of the problems but not of a firm confirmation of one particular problem causing all the problems...

I just close my eyes a lot lately.. cause there is so much wrong.. I can't handle it well sometimes.

You know.. I was never a drinker, oh I have tried a glass or two and recently a couple months ago went a round with  some alcohol one night, maybe trying to forget for a while but instead made myself sicker, and even more depressed then I already was, so none of that... I was embarrassed after the fact! But my point being I have always went for help, when I needed it, and always tried to be healthy, no smoking, drugs, etc.. was very conscious of trying to stay healthy... except that I let my weight get out of hand...BIG BIG BIG MISTAKE!  My Doctor said, that my weight has not caused my heart problems that they were congenital and that my weight right now was making them worse as it was putting stress on the heart which is just worn out. 

It looks like I need new valves and two aneurysms fixed, so I am assuming that when they replace the aorta valve that they will also address the aneurysms at the same time as well the left ventricle that is messed up!  I don't know what they will say at Stanford or what my chance for survival will be.. As Stated to me I am high risk and these procedures will leave me with a less then 50% chance of survival if they decide to move on it and do it... So they say here in Humboldt.. thats why I want a new opinion from Stanford they have all the newest technology new doctors trained in newest technological skills they have cardiovascular surgeons who I am told are top notch.. Some of my procedures can hopefully be done via the artery unless the cut me for the valves.. how could they replace a valve without incisions, surely they cannot do that within arteries etc?

Anyway you see where my head is.. I have gotten quite scared,  now that they have decided to ship me away!

Probably why I can't sleep tonight.

I am just nervous. I read something very good today it was one of those email ditties .. You know forward this. This was a boogie woogie one.. supposed to have music but I could not get the music to work for me.. but the words in the mail really hit me... one of the quotes said something like...

"You have NOT fulfilled YOUR purpose in LIFE if YOU are STILL living!!"

That hit me weird cause I thought I was done... So maybe there is something more left for me to do. I just don't know what that might be....

Oh well.. what will be will be and I need to just relax..... LOL Yeah right!

Oh well boring morning and I need to try again to sleep soon.

Hugs you all...



« Last Edit: 21/12/2009 11:15:57 by Karen W. »
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #127 on: 04/02/2009 08:20:27 »
Well It is almost midnight and I have been listening to a movie going on behind my back..in Spanish much of it! I have cleaned the keyboard and cried over my Pitbull and am just frustrated. Some tired so that doesn't help!

I seem to be just a tad over emotional tonight... I wish I could turn that part off sometimes but I know it only serves to help me..

Tried to write some but my mind is really in a hole.. I really am feeling rather scattered as of late.. like there is nothing in life that's certain and I guess I just really hate that... I want something in my life to be strong and stable... but right now there is nothing... not love or family or health or friends.. lol..

My sister in Oregon just had a spinal biopsy and a large mass removed from the base of her spine.. they could not get it all..They said that it had grown in around many nerves and her lower spine and it was to dangerous to try to remove the whole thing.. She is waiting to see if it is cancerous we should know right away. They have found two more one being the size of a small baseball but in her breasts.. She will have two more biopsies coming right up!
It worries me that she is so ill also..

She is this itsy bitty 4 ft 9 inch squirt with blond hair and a lot of piss and vinegar... She is ornery as heck! Almost three years younger then myself.. she was number six of seven!

Well I am thirsty and going to crack open a can of Sierra Mist Free.. Yummmmy.. only diet soda I can handle if cold no after taste noticeable to me and that's good!Nice and cold!

My throat  lungs are sore from coughing... been coughing again for weeks.. after last hospital stay.. I have been coughing up blood so I think I may have an infection in my lungs.. no blood in nose secretions but lots in the deep coughs that tend to strangle you coming out with all that thick chunky nasty green phlegm.. and blood..
Probably got a case of bronchitis...  I an sore from coughing feel like I pulled something loose down under my right rib cage.. I coughed had a really sharp pain and what lingered like a cramp feeling with sharp pain in the muscle.... it has not gone away for 4 days.. I have a large lump protruding there on my yummy it feels very tender..

Probably nothing but a strained muscle.. I have an appointment on the 11th.. so I will find out... unless it disappears by then..

The weather is rather decent today and about 40 degrees in arcata.. so about 34 35 here I suppose usually 7 t0 10 degrees different here..

Hey the sun was nice today ... and I could not find a walking partner today.. to practice for a 2 mile walk on march 8th! We will see if I make it!

I hope you all are well!
 

Offline Chemistry4me

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« Reply #128 on: 04/02/2009 09:05:04 »
I am saddened to hear about the condition that you are in :(:(
I hope that you will feel better very very soon. Best Wishes from me Karen W.

--------
Btw, I didn't even know this thread existed  :D
it could come in handy...
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #129 on: 04/02/2009 09:22:14 »
Don't be saddened I am fine.. don"t you ever get sick?.. I caught a cold several weeks ago.. and it just has not left me yet.. It will get better no doubt! No worries..:)

Hey its the rattle on thread.. but not many rattle but me.. I am a big chatterbox.... LOL PLease do feel free to add to the thread!
Thanks for your kind words .. but be assured I am good. Just bored!
 

Offline Chemistry4me

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« Reply #130 on: 04/02/2009 09:27:55 »
Haha, it is very good to hear that you're okay. I'm bored too, there is nothing good on TV :( Do I get sick? Well, not usually, I am lucky to possess a fairly good immunity system. But recently I have been bitten by some weird bug (I think they're flea bites), one on me arm, one on my finger, and two on my legs, they are not very itchy but at their worst, they were very very very swollen and my arm looked like someone had driven a truck over it. Now, they are going down and I can hardly see them anymore.
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #131 on: 04/02/2009 09:39:26 »
 Hee hee.. you reminded me of Ryan in that post! LOL....

There is rarely anything good on tv.. I hate watching it alone. I listen while on the computer! Jr. is on with Danny Devito and Arnold Shwartzenegger.. kinda funny...

I get bored easily!

Well if its hot there and humid, You may very well have mosquito bites they itch and can cause swelling too!



 

Offline Chemistry4me

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« Reply #132 on: 04/02/2009 09:41:33 »
Well, I am sitting at the computer and listening to a podcast, so at least I am learning something! ;D
Do you like any sports Karen W.?
 

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« Reply #133 on: 04/02/2009 09:49:06 »
I like listening to at times... but mostly in the day time.. the night time I am usually trying to be more active to help me get sleepy... doesn't work very good but sometimes..


I like badmitten.. softball, croquet, LOL just can't do them anymore..but not a huge sports fan but all my kids are!
 

Offline Chemistry4me

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« Reply #134 on: 05/02/2009 06:28:51 »
Pretty quite today huh? No frenzy activity...although there hardly is at this time of the day anyway...
 

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« Reply #135 on: 05/02/2009 06:49:00 »
Yes It is too quiet and lonesome round here.. where you suppose everyone is...
 

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« Reply #136 on: 05/02/2009 06:50:11 »
Hey, some life at last!
------
Everyone is in bed...zzzzz

------
Unless they're all at the beach...
 

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« Reply #137 on: 05/02/2009 06:53:21 »
This hour and the next always seems to be a blind spot where hardly anyone is online, but for the other 22 hours theres always people on at some time or other.
 

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« Reply #138 on: 05/02/2009 06:57:51 »
Yes I guess its too early for me.... yes it gets better in a few hours...

Sorry I was reading old threads and posting in Hadrian's forum also!
 

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« Reply #139 on: 05/02/2009 06:59:30 »
Yeah about 7 am London time things pick up some!
 

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« Reply #140 on: 05/02/2009 07:00:31 »
Haha, while I was having dinner.
 

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« Reply #141 on: 05/02/2009 07:01:37 »
What time is it there where you are?
 

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« Reply #142 on: 05/02/2009 07:02:07 »
My nose is so sore from blowing.. LOL
 

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« Reply #143 on: 05/02/2009 07:02:53 »
What time is it there where you are?
8 p.m on February the 5th.
 

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« Reply #144 on: 05/02/2009 07:04:52 »
Sore nose?
Do you use hankies or tissue paper?
Feels like a sandpaper (your nose that is!)?
I hate that feeling! But especially when your nose is blocked and your ears go funny blowing too hard!
 

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« Reply #145 on: 05/02/2009 07:05:59 »
It has been rather cold all day today.. but it is still relatively ok for 11PM its only about 35 F. degrees on the porch
tonight is feb. 4th 11PM
You are almost a 21 hours ahead of me... Amazing!
 

Offline Chemistry4me

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« Reply #146 on: 05/02/2009 07:08:00 »
Yes, the first place to see the sun (if you know what I mean) excluding those little islands in the Pacific Ocean of course. :)

------

Today has been quite cool, cloudy, but cool  [8D] only 28C outside.  :)
 

Offline Karen W.

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« Reply #147 on: 05/02/2009 07:09:46 »
Sore nose?
Do you use hankies or tissue paper?
Feels like a sandpaper (your nose that is!)?
I hate that feeling! But especially when your nose is blocked and your ears go funny blowing too hard!
I have hankies and tissue.. right now tissue as I have an infection and want disposeable kleenex... more sanitary..

Yep sides are sore and I have a raw spot on the inside where it wants to drip..BOO HOO.. LOL

Its my nose and lungs.. cough lots of nastiness out.. but you know how that goes and it strangles you trying to get it up and out.. sorry that's kinda gross...
 

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« Reply #148 on: 05/02/2009 07:12:15 »
Yes, the first place to see the sun (if you know what I mean) excluding those little islands in the Pacific Ocean of course. :)

------

Today has been quite cool, cloudy, but cool  [8D] only 28C outside.  :)

I have never really traveled anywhere really.. so That's news to me.. I am terrible with geography... LOL

What is 28 c on Farhenheight?

 

Offline Chemistry4me

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« Reply #149 on: 05/02/2009 07:13:45 »
Well it has cooled down to a very comfortable 80F.
 

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« Reply #149 on: 05/02/2009 07:13:45 »

 

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