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Author Topic: The weird side of evolution: THE TRUTH  (Read 2266 times)

Offline JimBob

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The weird side of evolution: THE TRUTH
« on: 12/07/2007 16:01:07 »
Evolution is a series of events that occur and, as a result of the better-adapted organism's abilities, the better adapted organism survives.

Thus, the following scenario is most likely this:

On day a cockchafer (a.k.a. Billy Witch, a.k.a. May Bug, a.k.a. Scarabaeidae Melolontha) was walking in East Angia near a church. The beetle was swaggering. It was a male beetle with a lot of attitude. It watched a lot of TV and was a fan of Ali G. It swaggered like Ali G., dressed like a black stag beetle, and sang rap on Friday nights with his mates. He was really full of himself.

The church he was approaching was having a carnival to raise money to repair the Norman Era Bell Tower. Since the parish was a large one, the Vicar had brought in a small circus that had an elephant. This elephant was all stressed out having been leg-shackled for over 36 years, and was issuing a horrendous amount of infrasound wails, deafening most creatures sensitive to infrasound.

Now normally beetles do not hear infrasound. However, the subject cockchafer was somewhat different. It was sensative to small amounts of infrasound. To "Ali G II" this was about the sexiest thing he had heard in a long, long time; about 4 weeks - he was getting along in age. "Ali G II" sidled closer to the elephant and started rapping about hoes, b*****s, sex and, occasionally, love. The elephant didn't even hear him.

Not caring, "Ali G II" begins climbing the elephant's rear left leg with no good intentions in his mind. To "Ali G II" this is just one huge Rinocerous beetle female. He can handle it.

BUT - still highly infatuated, as "Ali G II" reaches the end of the trail, the elephant cuts loose with a huge fart and then the inevitable dung ball. It catches "Ali G II" on the rise, and he falls to the ground embedded in the ball of simi-digested hay. It is days before "Ali G II" digs himself free.

"Ali G II" has never before been treated like this. An assertive female! My Lord, what a rush! He can't help it. "Ali G II" is totally smitten. He stays on the ball.

A week later a very drunk female Coleopteraian walks by, sees "Ali G II" asleep on the ball, introduces herself and "Ali G II's" pent up "drive' is released. The next morning, as Ali wakes up, he notices a huge pair of underwear draped over two chairs. He is horrified. As he comes fully to consciousness he realizes he is had. The Sherrif is already there with a paternity warrant and a court order for continued child support.

"Ali G II" is worn out. He is old, he has his brood to support and he gives up. He dies, the council buys his turd ball, and his brood like their home as well as inheriting Ali's affection for elephants.

They go into business together and sell more crappy housing (no pun intended) to town councils. Eventually, they moved to South Africa and spread all over the continent.

THAT is how dung beetles evolved.

The kicker is that the elephant was male. How was "Ali G II" to know???????




 

Offline DoctorBeaver

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The weird side of evolution: THE TRUTH
« Reply #1 on: 12/07/2007 17:09:01 »
That's absolute tripe. Anyone can tell it's a load of cods because you put "...singing rap music"!

I think you just created a treble oxymoron!!
 

Offline JimBob

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The weird side of evolution: THE TRUTH
« Reply #2 on: 12/07/2007 17:16:20 »
I can't help it if you have a tin ear as well as no appreciation for rhythmic a-tonal ululations.

I grieve for you, sir.

 

Offline neilep

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The weird side of evolution: THE TRUTH
« Reply #3 on: 19/07/2007 13:55:17 »
I have an appreciation for the harmonies produced by musical interpretation's, be them of beetle, pachyderm or human origin.

I can sympathise with the good Dr and see where he is coming from and appreciate his observation of a contentious debatable subject that is the triple oxymoron....however...I too am swayed by the melodious savoir faire that is Rap !

.......at this time though..I am enjoying the awe inspired by Jimmy Boys convincing narrated anecdote......If only Darwin perchance had witnessed the same at an early age then his theory of evolution would be oh so much easier to comprehend.
 

The Naked Scientists Forum

The weird side of evolution: THE TRUTH
« Reply #3 on: 19/07/2007 13:55:17 »

 

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