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Author Topic: should we be allowed to smack...parents?  (Read 5214 times)

paul.fr

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should we be allowed to smack...parents?
« on: 15/07/2007 07:13:33 »
we have all seen them, those ghastly parents that swear at their little cherubs, who's only crime is to sit in supermarkets throwing themselves on the floor because they want some sweets. then walk down the street dragging their children behind them, like some latterday evil Mary (had a little lamb).

why do these people breed? more to the point why are they allowed to?

so, should we be able to give these awful parents a good slap?


 

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should we be allowed to smack...parents?
« Reply #1 on: 15/07/2007 07:15:53 »
YUP! LOL YUP YUP YUP!
 

Offline Karen W.

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should we be allowed to smack...parents?
« Reply #2 on: 15/07/2007 07:19:52 »
Doesn't that just annoy the soup out of you when you see a parent that behaves like that!

I don't believe in hitting anyone, but it sure makes one think seriously about it!
 

paul.fr

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should we be allowed to smack...parents?
« Reply #3 on: 15/07/2007 07:24:59 »
i detest that type of parent, if this is how they behave in public i dread to think what they are like behind closed doors.
 

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« Reply #4 on: 15/07/2007 07:28:21 »
I agree it is the worst! I see it all the time and do not understand why they have children at all! It is horrible especially when you see like a 2 year old being literally drug behind a parent simply because they won't slow down to the child's speed so they treat the child as if it were a rag doll! I never even allowed my children to treat their dolls that way as it could become a learned behavior later!
 

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« Reply #5 on: 15/07/2007 09:05:48 »
I heard a child of obviously pre-school age tell another kid to "F*** off". Where did he learn that if not at home?

Now, I'm a great believer in leaving people to get on with their lives without interference; but in some cases parents really do need to be taught a lesson.

However, I have to admit to being somewhat lapse in the "sensible parent" stakes at times. Kids can be so frustrating sometimes that they push you to your limits & beyond.

There was 1 particular day, not long ago, when Calvin was demanding sweets. We told him he couldn't have any more as he'd already had some. He threw himself on the floor (I tried that once & missed  >:( ). We were patient with him for quite a while - trying to coax him - but to no avail. We threatened him with being sent to his room when we got home - no use. He just lay there howling loud enough to drown out Concorde at full throttle. In the end I grabbed him, threw him over my shoulder & carted him, screaming & kicking, unceremoniously back to the car.
 

another_someone

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should we be allowed to smack...parents?
« Reply #6 on: 15/07/2007 11:09:06 »
I heard a child of obviously pre-school age tell another kid to "F*** off". Where did he learn that if not at home?

Unfortunately, I suspect too many other sources also (not least, TV and film - although theoretically nothing that should be broadcast to young children, but it is not always easy to apply the division).

Even within the home environment, if the parents are constantly being assailed by such language (even if only after the 9 o'clock watershed), they may themselves become desensitised to it (although in many cases, I suspect they were never particularly sensitive to their use of language).

Now, I'm a great believer in leaving people to get on with their lives without interference; but in some cases parents really do need to be taught a lesson.

Taught a lesson, or simply punished (the two concepts are often confused within society, so it may not be surprising if parents confuse the distinction also).

There was 1 particular day, not long ago, when Calvin was demanding sweets. We told him he couldn't have any more as he'd already had some. He threw himself on the floor (I tried that once & missed  >:( ). We were patient with him for quite a while - trying to coax him - but to no avail. We threatened him with being sent to his room when we got home - no use. He just lay there howling loud enough to drown out Concorde at full throttle.

So he was attention seeking, and you were giving him the attention he sought.

I know it is not easy when you have to get things done, and the child is being obstructive; but it is also easy to see how the child has his behaviour reinforced.

And, yes, I realise it is easy to offer advice when I am not there (and I am not, nor have ever been, a parent); but I merely offer observations, not advice.
 

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« Reply #7 on: 15/07/2007 11:38:50 »
Oh, we tried ignoring him too but he still carried on. We had to get home in time for the other 1 coming home from school so action had to be taken.
 

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« Reply #8 on: 15/07/2007 17:15:24 »
Well you did the right thing picking him up and taking him to the car! A child does need to know what is exceptible. My reference was mainly having a parent drag a child around as if they were a toy! I always give children a choice but you have to be careful with what choices you give them and be able to stick to the alternatives and back up the consequences when you have laid them down. Example I have a child screaming who has jumped on a bike another child had and was riding, the first child leans over from the bike to pick something up and can't reach it so they step off momentarily to get the object.. the second child then jumps onto the bike and speeds away. The first child runs to catch the bike and is upset. He blocks the bike saying i had it first the second child being aggressive then begins lashing out at the first! I move to the child who is now hollering and speak with the child to let them Know that I am there to help and ask them to talk about it. the second child refuses to discuss it or to give it back even after we have all talked. I explain that because he is not able to make the better choice at that moment, I offer him a couple choices, neither of them being tht he can stay on the bike. ok, you can give him back the bike by yourself and choose another toy or bike, or, I can help you off and we can sit down and talk, It is up to you.. do you want to choose or shall I help you!! They almost always choose to do it by themselves. and then they are fine..

Hitting is different, they know that if they SIT they SIT... that is the consequence  To SIT down and discuss better choices talk with the child who has been offended and hurt and ask that child how they are feeling what is wrong what can I do to make it better and better resoulutions etc..You have to be prepared for the child who will not listen or even talk at all.. some times some quiet time playing one on one with another or alone is the best idea until they are ready..You need to be able to to follow through .. if you say I will choose for you if you do not choose your self.. I e laying their kicking ad screaming, then be prepared to quietly pick the child up and take them to the car or whatever choice you had given.. if they choose neither so be it.. But they know you followed through they also did not get their way, but know that they could have made a better choice and had a turn later or whatever the situation was.. It is hard.. you sound like you did what needed to be done.. I have one child at school who have a great deal of situations where he has had to learn a lot. I always offer to let him come to the table and sit and he can walk by himself or I can carry him.. He most always wants to do it himself.. that way he is being given the choice to make the right decision.. Once in a blue moon I had to pick him up.. but not anymore.. he always chooses to do it himself .. he was very troubled when he came to us.. he is my favorite and does has come so far... he is going to be alright...and when he came his future looked really sad ...I have seen a him grow into such a marvelous child..I have no doubt that has been do to a class room ful of good teachers who care about the children they teach.. Different situations of course call for different measures but never to the point of shouting at a child or dragging them behind you squeezing their little arms.. An adult who does this has a problem with control.. teaching children is seldom about control. Their are times when one has to put their arms around a child who is lashing out at others and also hurting themselves and that becomes protection not control.. so you have to be able to decypher the difference!
 

Offline dentstudent

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« Reply #9 on: 16/07/2007 08:22:23 »
we have all seen them, those ghastly parents that swear at their little cherubs, who's only crime is to sit in supermarkets throwing themselves on the floor because they want some sweets. then walk down the street dragging their children behind them, like some latterday evil Mary (had a little lamb).

why do these people breed? more to the point why are they allowed to?

so, should we be able to give these awful parents a good slap?

I'm all for castration of stupid people (especially men), the deportation of uglies, the enforced wearing of that belt that women could wear to stop funny business but whose name I've forgotten.

We have a discipline method that works well. We sat the boys down and said that if they did something naughty, we would count "1". A repeat went to "2", and a third was "3", then a period of standing alone facing the wall. Really bad things go straight to "3". There would be no shouting from us, we remain quiet and calm (and hence stress free) and it's dealt with quickly and efficiently. We've been doing it for about 6 months, and now we rarely get to "3". We often get to "2", because kids push, but they know that "3" will happen and they'll end up alone for a few minutes. We practice this outside of the home too, as consistancey is important, but the occasions we need to go to "3" are rare.

BUT, it isn't just this alone - of course, so much of the behaviour of a child is the interation and relationship with the parents, domestic life etc etc. There isn't time or room here for the book - so of course, there are instances not covered here!

Chastity belt!!!!!

 

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« Reply #10 on: 16/07/2007 08:30:14 »
Good remembering... But I think you might find yourself in a world of trouble trying to get one of those on any women you know! LOL

I see that you were careful to say that women "Could"  wear implying choice of course!... ;) ;D :)
 

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« Reply #11 on: 16/07/2007 16:50:14 »
I went round to see my parents, sister and my two little nephews. We were talking general chit chat about toys and then got onto talking about computer games. My sister said that Ryan had been playing a game that I play and she was trying to get him to tell me. I then found out that he had been playing GTA (Grand Theft Auto)  [:0]  >:( He's only 4 and that game is an 18, way too old for him to be playing. Apparently him and his friend were laughing at it but still, the game is about violence and crime. I really don't think 4 year olds should be running around and killing people (in the game that is  ;) )

When my sister told me I could not understand the parents of Ryan's friend, how could they let them play a game which is ridiculously too adult for them!!!!!!!!!
I felt like slapping them (the parents)
 

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« Reply #12 on: 16/07/2007 16:59:19 »
I quite agree. They should have been playing "Pimp ma biatch"!  :D
 

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« Reply #13 on: 16/07/2007 17:33:59 »
Yeah it does seem like the poorer people have more kids. They were poor in the first place then they go out and **** everyone (sorry lol) and have like 10 kids and get more poor. There kids end up the same way they do because they don't know what to do becides what their parents did. Mirage I'm Ryan I don't remember talking to you at any time. LoL. I'd like to give them a beating once in awhile. LoL.
 

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« Reply #14 on: 16/07/2007 17:34:42 »
Oh that's sweet it added the **** over what I was typing. HOW COOL!
 

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« Reply #15 on: 16/07/2007 17:36:11 »
Yeah it does seem like the poorer people have more kids. They were poor in the first place then they go out and **** everyone (sorry lol) and have like 10 kids and get more poor. There kids end up the same way they do because they don't know what to do becides what their parents did. Mirage I'm Ryan I don't remember talking to you at any time. LoL. I'd like to give them a beating once in awhile. LoL.

LOL I didn't realise that I had two nephews named Ryan  ;)
 

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« Reply #16 on: 16/07/2007 17:38:36 »
Haha your in UK wow out family must not like each other. Haha.
 

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« Reply #17 on: 16/07/2007 17:40:54 »
Haha your in UK wow out family must not like each other. Haha.

Yeah, probably because we're Bristolians over here  ;)
 

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« Reply #18 on: 16/07/2007 17:44:20 »
Haha. yeah.
 

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« Reply #19 on: 16/07/2007 19:05:13 »
Haha your in UK wow out family must not like each other. Haha.

Yeah, probably because we're Bristolians over here  ;)

Bristol cities! fnar fnar
 

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« Reply #20 on: 16/07/2007 22:32:37 »
I went round to see my parents, sister and my two little nephews. We were talking general chit chat about toys and then got onto talking about computer games. My sister said that Ryan had been playing a game that I play and she was trying to get him to tell me. I then found out that he had been playing GTA (Grand Theft Auto)  [:0]  >:( He's only 4 and that game is an 18, way too old for him to be playing. Apparently him and his friend were laughing at it but still, the game is about violence and crime. I really don't think 4 year olds should be running around and killing people (in the game that is  ;) )

When my sister told me I could not understand the parents of Ryan's friend, how could they let them play a game which is ridiculously too adult for them!!!!!!!!!
I felt like slapping them (the parents)

That Game is way to adult for children.. my kids pulled that one on me I had to destroy the game.. was so mad when I seen what they were doing!!
 

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should we be allowed to smack...parents?
« Reply #20 on: 16/07/2007 22:32:37 »

 

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