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Author Topic: My teenager has become nocturnal - need a solution  (Read 11880 times)

Heronumber0

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My teenage son was completely a normal, boisterous boy until he reached the first year of his A-level, at which point he slowly became nocturnal.  He now sleeps during the day and stays awake all night. Help! Any solutions anyone?


 

Offline dentstudent

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My teenager has become nocturnal - need a solution
« Reply #1 on: 03/08/2007 11:29:30 »
So is he 17, 18 still, or were his A's a while back? If he's nocturnal, he's not at school then?
 

Heronumber0

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My teenager has become nocturnal - need a solution
« Reply #2 on: 03/08/2007 11:50:18 »
He has just finished his first year of A-levels. I'm expecting to see him perched upside down in his room someday like a bat... ;D
 

another_someone

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My teenager has become nocturnal - need a solution
« Reply #3 on: 03/08/2007 16:00:23 »
I was like that - still am (not perching upside down - my perch could never stand the strain).

I always found that until about 2 in the morning, my brain would not slow down enough to concentrate on homework (not that I ever did much of it anyway).
 

Heronumber0

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My teenager has become nocturnal - need a solution
« Reply #4 on: 03/08/2007 16:08:41 »
George, he stayed awake until 2.00 a.m.- fine by me. But this has now extended until 6:00 a.m. and, yesterday, 8:00 a.m. Is there a chance to re-train him or is this teenage hormones being upset?
 

another_someone

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My teenager has become nocturnal - need a solution
« Reply #5 on: 03/08/2007 18:55:14 »
When i said I did not do my homework until 2 a.m., it usually meant that I did not finish it until 4 a.m.

One has to ask (since he is in the middle of his summer break at present), is he doing himself a lot of harm staying up until 6 a.m. (however unsocial it may seem).  In one respect I suspect he may be, in that he may be getting insufficient daylight if he is sleeping during the day, which is why, If I do go through a phase of sleeping through the morning, I have taught myself to sleep with the curtains open, so at least I get enough daylight, at least during my sleep (after all, if other people can fall asleep under the Sun on a beach, then why not in my bed).

The three questions (my own personal, and unqualified, opinion) are:

Is he getting enough sleep?
Is he getting enough Sun?
Is it adversely impacting his ability to partake in other functions in his life?
 

Heronumber0

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My teenager has become nocturnal - need a solution
« Reply #6 on: 04/08/2007 00:15:58 »
Sleep -yes
Sun- no
He cannot socialise with his family
 

Offline chris

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My teenager has become nocturnal - need a solution
« Reply #7 on: 04/08/2007 01:16:04 »
Sounds like my brother and me, to a certain extent!

I sympathise though.

Tell you what - why not point him in the direction of the naked scientists forum - we need someone on here at night to kep an eye on people like Karen W.... ;)

Chris
 

Offline Karen W.

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My teenager has become nocturnal - need a solution
« Reply #8 on: 04/08/2007 05:49:12 »
Thanks Chris! Company is always nice! LOL.. I also was a lot like your young man as was my mother and her mother before her. THE WOMEN IN MY FAMILY HAVE ALWAYS BEEN NIGHT OWLS.I HAVE SOME OTHER ISSUES WITH SLEEP, WHICH MOST LIKELY DON'T APPLY TO HIM.. I REALLY BELIEVE EVERYBODY HAS THEIR OWN BODY CLOCK AND SOMETIMES AS MUCH AS WE WANT THEM TO BE LIKE OURS THEY ARE NOT. Whoops! I am using a new keyboard and did not see the caps until just now! Sorry! My keyboard is way smaller then I am used to and I am actually typing faster then before. LOL

There are other things that can become a problem at this age , but I would not jump to any conclusions just watch for behavioral changes and be ready to step in if he does begin to seem quite moody or aggressive or to closed off. It might indicate he may need some help or maybe feeling depressed or disturbed by something. I really wouldn't worry to much unless he is just really displaying some really out of character behavior and such. I do have three children who have gone through these stages with no problems like drugs or depression or anything like that!They are all ownery and stubborn good kids, and all three are pretty much night owls, and prefer night life as far as when they function at their best. I have a twenty two year old boy who struggles to get up at four and work until 6 at night as he really is more in the swing of things in the early Am hours! Just keep in touch with him amd maybe schedule a movie together late sometime in his time frame even though you are not that peppie . It will let him know that you still want and take an interest in spending time with him and acknowledging his need to be on his time frame.. Some Kids take this step as kind of a step in independence to be different then anyone else in the family to have something or some time to himself..Just be his friend his parent but also in a laid back way by observing him in a casual manner and taking an interest in how he is feeling also be sure to keep your eyes open and remain his protector just in case he has some troubles. Teens are interesting young creatures who behave eraticly especially at this age with hormones raging and emotions they are experiencing and exploring.. It is a wonderful time but can also be difficult as we all know becoming an adult does not happen overnight.. it has an accumulative effect... LOL I am almost 47 years old and am still learning and still experimenting in my life. Some of us are not as quick to explore as others, but we all do sooner or later! Nice to do it now while he has someone who loves him to look out for him and be there if he needs you.. Good luck..  BTW..Seriously Company is always great! LOL
 

Heronumber0

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My teenager has become nocturnal - need a solution
« Reply #9 on: 04/08/2007 10:01:31 »
Some excellent advice there guys.  Thank you. Karen W, I will take the softly, softly approach of course. Yes I think it is erratic teenage behaviour.  I can remember getting out of bed at 2-3 pm on Saturdays and Sundays as a teenager...golden days!
 

Offline Karen W.

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My teenager has become nocturnal - need a solution
« Reply #10 on: 04/08/2007 10:09:00 »
Boy me too. Not always but lots of times where I slept a lot way more then now..especially in the summer!

Sorry My mouth always gets carried away!..LOL  My apologies!
 

Heronumber0

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My teenager has become nocturnal - need a solution
« Reply #11 on: 04/08/2007 11:26:46 »
No problem at all. That was such solid , good advice. Thank you.
 

Offline lightarrow

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My teenager has become nocturnal - need a solution
« Reply #12 on: 04/08/2007 18:04:25 »
George, he stayed awake until 2.00 a.m.- fine by me. But this has now extended until 6:00 a.m. and, yesterday, 8:00 a.m. Is there a chance to re-train him or is this teenage hormones being upset?
Make him extend time a bit more every day. Then he will go bed at 10:00 a.m., 12:00 a.m.,...18:00, 20:00, 22:00 and when the time is right, he is "on phase" again.
it's not a joke, it's how some physicians solve the problem.
All this, after what Karen said, of course.
 

Offline Karen W.

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My teenager has become nocturnal - need a solution
« Reply #13 on: 04/08/2007 20:19:30 »
No problem at all. That was such solid , good advice. Thank you.

No Problem..Your welcome! Is he seventeen or 18? I am not familiar with A levels etc.

Alberto makes a good point especially as he readies for school to begin.
 

Heronumber0

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My teenager has become nocturnal - need a solution
« Reply #14 on: 04/08/2007 20:40:16 »
Karen, he is 17, starting the first year of a two year A-level course. Lightarrow is also making a good point and I may gently suggest this but you know what teenagers are like...
 

Offline Karen W.

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My teenager has become nocturnal - need a solution
« Reply #15 on: 04/08/2007 21:21:53 »
I sure do. At this age it is very hard so say go to bed go to sleep! LOL..

They are pretty much Adults and you may say Go to bed now,..LOL but they will perhaps go their room, but forcing them to sleep will not work..suggestions are good, quiet activity before sleep is good... perhaps narrowing down certain activities before bed.. by suggestion.. Who knows it may work..Couldn't hurt to try! LOL

Pardon me, while I regress... my son was seventeen my large older son beefy boy muscular strong etc.. LOL I never went in for hitting children still don't .. There was one time my two boys got in a horrible fight, my youngest boy being very tiny twiggy like child of about13 years of age tiny bones very small frame. Anyway the fight begun how most do arguing about stupid then I heard "you can't make me!" Then I heard, "wanna bet!"..Then came , "Just try it!"..Then suddenly something broke and I came int the living room and my oldest was holding my youngest pinned against the couch, youngest was fighting like crazy his arm got loose and I started to break it up but my youngest popped his brother john up side of the head loosening his stance on his legs, and then Nathan nailed John somewhere not good in his flailing, and actually realized he nailed him there and stopped and immediately was trying to apologize, but all John saw was red, and he grabbed Nathan by the throat and was choking the soup out of him.. I raised my voice and grabbed my oldest arm where he started to jerk away from me, but I was able to pull him back off balance and he toppled backwards into the couch cushion, where I said OH God Please let me be fat enough to hold him down... and I jumped square in the middle of him.. he continued lunging at Nathan and when Nathan stood John grabbed him by the neck and pulled him to the couch again and I had to lean my knee into his arm to break his grip and yelled at my youngest to go to his room.. LOL I was scared to death I had never seen such anger in my son! Especially my youngest... And john was huge kid a football player had no business doing that I do not allow fighting in my house .. I sat on my son for over an hour while he struggled and fought to get up and swore he was going to get Nathan.. Finally I said, "when I have your word you will stop and I feel you have calmed down I will get off." He said, "MOM, it's not fair you are way bigger then me!" I then said, "precisely, Thank God!" He finally calmed down and was very apologetic even to his brother.. who was good at instigating things as many younger sibs do to older children.

Anyway it was the one time in my life I was really grateful for my extra weight .. It was all I could do to hold him down.. I kept telling him I have all day.. no worries.. we can sit here all day! LOL He was really mad.. Has since said he was glad I intervened.. LOL! He said one time to a friend going down the hall, "no way I am not going to do that!" The friend said, "Why not she won't do anything..?" John chucked and said,  "Man you don't know my mom!" "She'll tackle you, and you won't have a chance! She is strong!" "She will sit on you all day!" It probably wasn't the best method but my attempts to get through with my voice and gentleness flew out of the window! LOL...
« Last Edit: 20/12/2007 06:47:56 by Karen W. »
 

Heronumber0

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My teenager has become nocturnal - need a solution
« Reply #16 on: 04/08/2007 21:42:31 »
I have had exactly this situation before Karen, with younger sibling trying to combat the older and with door locks ripped off with myself in between them - almost exactly like being at school (I am in a tough school). I am ashamed to say that, as a teenager, I bullied my younger brother and annoyed him quite a lot. I have apologised many times but I think I scarred him...
 

Offline Karen W.

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My teenager has become nocturnal - need a solution
« Reply #17 on: 05/08/2007 10:31:49 »
I was the middle child and got stuck in the middle never siding with anyone, mostly unnoticed as far as I was very quiet and pretty independent but at the same time I got pretty shook up did not like fighting and was pretty intimidated by people fighting I hate it! Even the bickering!
 

Heronumber0

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My teenager has become nocturnal - need a solution
« Reply #18 on: 06/08/2007 12:14:41 »
Karen- I have made myself sound like a member of Hitler Youth, which is not the case. I indulged in playfights with my younger brother which were annoying to him.  However, protracted bullying at Secondary school - where I could not be there to help him because of a five year age gap- left him with mental scars.  However, he is now a big, overweight, Tae Kwon Do expert and I don't think he has had any problems in the last 20 years.
 

Offline Karen W.

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My teenager has become nocturnal - need a solution
« Reply #19 on: 06/08/2007 15:24:06 »
 You did NOT make your self sound bad. I know how kids can be and for what ever reason all kids are not stamped from the same mold...LOL Thank goodness!

Each one of us go through things in our life that serve a purpose in our growth as a human beings. Life experience is what shapes and molds us into the people we are. I like to think that some of us must just need more extensive shaping then others to get us to a place where we can truly see where we came from and why we feel or act the way we do. I find it amazing that we can come round to understanding our own limitations as well as to know what amazing potential we all have as humans as well as how strong and tough the human mind and spirit are. We all have an untapped strength within us, and I think we get that through trial, error, and because of the effect of our own experiences in certain matters. I would think on the whole, we adapt and try to roll with the punches so to speak. To work with the cards we have been dealt, and in most cases become stronger for it. I know we all fall short of what most think is perfection but quite frankly I do not believe That life was ever meant to be without what most consider flaws. I believe we grow and evolve through our life experience and in a way, like that  of a plant or other life we adapt as best we can to the ever changing environment that we are surrounded by. We become stronger in most cases. Many of us learn differently and struggle at times to adapt and as life is sometimes, we do not make it through the evolution of changes which effect us.. some of us are bound to falter, stumble or just plain lie down and give up. That doesn't mean that we have failed, but that some times we reach our limit as individuals about how much we ourselves can adapt, and weather this is a conscious choice or just a hiccup in the ladder of evolution as our minds and bodies grow as individuals. We are all different in Genetic makeup as far as personalities are concerned, therefore, I believe we all function at different levels, as it takes different life experiences to reach or ascertain a state of understanding about our own individual minds and bodies as well as those of others.
 
  Some of us may never reach that place while yet others reach it very easily. Some struggle and I believe that to be "the norm" in life. 

  As a child my family seemed to battle constantly, but I have seen huge steps in the growth of our own evolutions as a family as well as places where we all still struggle. We are each very different yet in some ways very similar. We each carry a ton of life experiences upon our backs, "our own luggage," as some like to say, but it is that luggage which makes us each individual,unique and wonderful specimens of the human life form.
  Life is an intricate maze, and I am constantly wondering how the heck I made it to this place, and thank goodness I am still evolving, even though there are times when I feel like a wilting flower in the hot sun, or that I have hit a wall. I always seem to find that with the help others that my own inner strength and theirs, can provide much needed water, or alternate passages for me to travel. Even though we like to think we are all so very independent, we are all really interdependent upon each others strengths and weaknesses to evolve and rebuild our strength, or to find our way, an to pick up and go on and to flourish again. We are after all human!  :)
« Last Edit: 06/08/2007 17:23:02 by Karen W. »
 

Heronumber0

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My teenager has become nocturnal - need a solution
« Reply #20 on: 06/08/2007 16:00:14 »
Karen W, that is as good a statement about the human condition as I have EVER read. well done! These deep thoughts should be published elsewhere as well.  Wise words indeed and I agree with them 100%.  Thank you.
 

Offline Karen W.

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My teenager has become nocturnal - need a solution
« Reply #21 on: 06/08/2007 17:28:02 »
Thank you..I tend to get long winded..so I do apologize.. I kinda woke up in a speechy kind of mode.. LOL.. It is just how I feel..thats all. Not every one feels that way! I appreciate your very kind words!
« Last Edit: 06/08/2007 17:31:34 by Karen W. »
 

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My teenager has become nocturnal - need a solution
« Reply #22 on: 13/08/2007 01:48:26 »
I was thinking about your son today and wondering how he is doing with his sleep? Are you all making any progress? I hope all is well and that you are getting to have some time with each other.
 

Offline ukmicky

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My teenager has become nocturnal - need a solution
« Reply #23 on: 13/08/2007 03:07:22 »
My son is the same and i'm nearly as bad as i tend to go to bed about 4 in the morning.

If he is staying in bed all day then your best bet if you want to change his sleeping habits is to become an evil mum and put some loud music on at about 10 or 11 am so he cant sleep and therefore will be tired and sleep during the night.
« Last Edit: 13/08/2007 03:49:23 by ukmicky »
 

Offline Karen W.

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My teenager has become nocturnal - need a solution
« Reply #24 on: 13/10/2007 14:04:13 »
How is your son doing Heromember0??? I hope well!
 

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My teenager has become nocturnal - need a solution
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