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Author Topic: How to get rid of a corpse  (Read 66466 times)

Offline ukmicky

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Re: How to get rid of a corpse
« Reply #50 on: 17/09/2005 18:02:27 »
I much prefer a bit of



A bit risky that one, Do you think i should delete the smurf ?
« Last Edit: 30/03/2008 14:30:23 by ukmicky »
 

Offline neilep

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Re: How to get rid of a corpse
« Reply #51 on: 17/09/2005 18:18:23 »
That is the Smurfs tail is it ?...or has he twisted his head around ?

Men are the same as women.... just inside out !!
 

Offline Andrew K Fletcher

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Re: How to get rid of a corpse
« Reply #52 on: 11/10/2005 17:15:59 »
Sell it as meat to the Kebab Shops, they don't ask too many questions, and people eating kebabs are usually too pissed to notice the odd finger nail

"The explanation requiring the fewest assumptions is most likely to be correct."
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Offline neilep

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Re: How to get rid of a corpse
« Reply #53 on: 11/10/2005 18:15:06 »
You could always bury it in a cemetary !

Men are the same as women.... just inside out !!
 

Offline avi

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How to get rid of a corpse
« Reply #54 on: 29/03/2008 18:40:47 »
I heard the best way to get rid of a body is to feed them to pigs they eat everthing apart from the teeth and hair but you can pull and shave that off .
 

Offline Seany

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How to get rid of a corpse
« Reply #55 on: 30/03/2008 00:05:40 »
I much prefer a bit of



A bit risky that one, Do you think i should delete the smurf ?


Uh oh.. Someone's been up to something ::)
 

Offline JimBob

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How to get rid of a corpse
« Reply #56 on: 30/03/2008 00:53:25 »
I heard the best way to get rid of a body is to feed them to pigs they eat everthing apart from the teeth and hair but you can pull and shave that off .

THis really is the best way - the teeth and hair get eaten as well from what I understand.
 

Offline Make it Lady

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How to get rid of a corpse
« Reply #57 on: 05/04/2008 13:28:12 »
A news reader corpsed on Radio 4 last week. She couldn't stop giggling at this recoerding that was supposed to be the first of a human voice but sounded like birds fighting. In this situation I find thinking of having your nose hairs pulled out with tweezers stops the corpsing.
 

Offline science_guy

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How to get rid of a corpse
« Reply #58 on: 20/04/2008 04:01:42 »
stick the body under enormous heat and pressure, and come back in a million years.

free petrolium!
 

Offline avi

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How to get rid of a corpse
« Reply #59 on: 26/04/2008 22:21:29 »
 
Quote

THis really is the best way - the teeth and hair get eaten as well from what I understand.

pigs will eat it but it will just come out how it went in. but if you find it fun sieveing through pig sh1t then you can just leave the hair and teeth in.
« Last Edit: 27/04/2008 16:11:32 by ukmicky »
 

Offline BenHermer

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How to get rid of a corpse
« Reply #60 on: 10/05/2008 11:43:00 »
Thermite has to be the way to go, come on, they destroyed a terminator robot with it (in the new Terminator series, how sad am i??), bit of organic mush would be easy peasy!!
 

blakestyger

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How to get rid of a corpse
« Reply #61 on: 16/05/2008 20:22:14 »
There was a vertical lime kiln at the factory where I used to work and on a bad day I could fantasise about putting my boss in the charger bucket at the bottom and watch the little tyke go right to the top and be tipped in. Height 100ft, temp 1400C, charged with limestone and coke and the powdered product was slaked in water.
The perfect answer - I don't believe the police would be so thorough that it would be discovered.
 

Offline Hello

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How to get rid of a corpse
« Reply #62 on: 07/10/2009 19:15:21 »
Knock them out in a secure location at night, hard enough for either paralyzes or brain damage, without a drop of blood.

Make sure a vehicle is close at hand. No car theft, just a car of yours.

Put them under the back seats, covered with a blanket, and other boxes with junk of your choice. Heavy objects.

Go to your home, or location of choice with a shower.

Hang them upside down in the shower, nude. Burn all the clothes in the fireplace. If there is no fireplace, purchase a fire pit ahead of time, and use the clothes as kindle. Make sure all traces of it have been reduced to ash.

Get in the shower with the person, and remove your clothes as well. Pull the curtains to cover in case of any spray of blood. Cut the throat of the person, and allow the person to drain. wait until all blood has washed off of you and the corpse.

Take the corpse to a long table, usually used for animal skinning and gutting. Remove the limbs first, and organs. Have very large containers with monoxide at hand. Place the organs and limbs into these jars for at least a month. Eventually they will be reduced to white bone, and eventually they will simply "fizz" away. Keep a separate jar for the head. Make sure to have pounded to head a bit first with a sludge hammer of some kind. Let it "fizz" away as well.

With the remaining torso bit, remove the bones and place them into the jars as well, after hacking them down a bit.

You can eat the rest. If cooked right, it can feel more like a treat, rather a duty.


That's that.
 

Offline JDR

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How to get rid of a corpse
« Reply #63 on: 21/10/2009 14:00:50 »
Just use pigs starve them for about 2 weeks and they will go through bones like butter you need about 3 pigs to do the whole job in about 25 mins and they leave no trace of body i know through experiance hope this helps.
« Last Edit: 24/10/2009 11:09:34 by JDR »
 

Offline glovesforfoxes

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How to get rid of a corpse
« Reply #64 on: 21/10/2009 15:15:42 »
^ :-\
 

Offline Don_1

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How to get rid of a corpse
« Reply #65 on: 21/10/2009 16:02:33 »
I see this thread has been resurrected.

Oooo that's better, I haven't had pun for ages!
 

Offline Karen W.

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How to get rid of a corpse
« Reply #66 on: 22/10/2009 06:49:41 »
Just use pigs starve them for about 2 weeks and they will go through bones like butter you need about 3 pigs to do the whole job in about 25 mins and they leave to trace of body i know through experiance hope this helps.

That is a bit unnerving!!!????

May I ask How one has experience in starving three pigs, and feeding them a corpse..etc etc etc....?
How does and where would something like this ever take place?

THOSE are REALLY DISTURBING THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS there.....let alone EXPERIENCE???

Talk about Shock factor!
 

Offline Karen W.

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How to get rid of a corpse
« Reply #67 on: 22/10/2009 06:56:06 »
Knock them out in a secure location at night, hard enough for either paralyzes or brain damage, without a drop of blood.

Make sure a vehicle is close at hand. No car theft, just a car of yours.

Put them under the back seats, covered with a blanket, and other boxes with junk of your choice. Heavy objects.

Go to your home, or location of choice with a shower.

Hang them upside down in the shower, nude. Burn all the clothes in the fireplace. If there is no fireplace, purchase a fire pit ahead of time, and use the clothes as kindle. Make sure all traces of it have been reduced to ash.

Get in the shower with the person, and remove your clothes as well. Pull the curtains to cover in case of any spray of blood. Cut the throat of the person, and allow the person to drain. wait until all blood has washed off of you and the corpse.

Take the corpse to a long table, usually used for animal skinning and gutting. Remove the limbs first, and organs. Have very large containers with monoxide at hand. Place the organs and limbs into these jars for at least a month. Eventually they will be reduced to white bone, and eventually they will simply "fizz" away. Keep a separate jar for the head. Make sure to have pounded to head a bit first with a sludge hammer of some kind. Let it "fizz" away as well.

With the remaining torso bit, remove the bones and place them into the jars as well, after hacking them down a bit.

You can eat the rest. If cooked right, it can feel more like a treat, rather a duty.


That's that.


YUUUUUUUUCCCCK!!!!!!!

???????
 

Offline Karen W.

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How to get rid of a corpse
« Reply #68 on: 23/10/2009 07:57:14 »
I am afraid to ask about the relish and think I should pass on the link eh??
 

Offline yor_on

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How to get rid of a corpse
« Reply #69 on: 23/10/2009 08:12:24 »
sh1t.
 what's wrong this picture?
Everything.
 

Offline JDR

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How to get rid of a corpse
« Reply #70 on: 24/10/2009 11:19:17 »
to Karen W.

my info is personal but affective its a job offer that i cant refuse.
 

Offline Don_1

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How to get rid of a corpse
« Reply #71 on: 24/10/2009 16:14:56 »
Knock them out in a secure location at night, hard enough for either paralyzes or brain damage, without a drop of blood.

Make sure a vehicle is close at hand. No car theft, just a car of yours.

Put them under the back seats, covered with a blanket, and other boxes with junk of your choice. Heavy objects.

Go to your home, or location of choice with a shower.

Hang them upside down in the shower, nude. Burn all the clothes in the fireplace. If there is no fireplace, purchase a fire pit ahead of time, and use the clothes as kindle. Make sure all traces of it have been reduced to ash.

Get in the shower with the person, and remove your clothes as well. Pull the curtains to cover in case of any spray of blood. Cut the throat of the person, and allow the person to drain. wait until all blood has washed off of you and the corpse.

Take the corpse to a ***long table, usually used for animal skinning and gutting***. Remove the limbs first, and organs. Have very large containers with monoxide at hand. Place the organs and limbs into these jars for at least a month. Eventually they will be reduced to white bone, and eventually they will simply "fizz" away. Keep a separate jar for the head. Make sure to have pounded to head a bit first with a ***sludge hammer*** of some kind. Let it "fizz" away as well.

With the remaining torso bit, remove the bones and place them into the jars as well, after hacking them down a bit.

You can eat the rest. If cooked right, it can feel more like a treat, rather a duty.


That's that.


Every home should have one!
I have been to B & Q, but cannot find a sludge hammer. Apparently there is very little call for a hammer to pulverise boggy ground!
FOG
 

Offline crooky3

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How to get rid of a corpse
« Reply #72 on: 03/12/2010 21:11:17 »
Shave all the hair off cut the fingers off pull all the teeth out for identi, and feed to the pigs will eat the lot bones but not the hair the fingers feed to seaguls if not eaten will
 

Offline crooky3

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How to get rid of a corpse
« Reply #73 on: 03/12/2010 21:13:25 »
or acid bath put all the bones it a cement mixer with a few bricks 2-4 hours nothing but dust,....
 

Offline CliffordK

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How to get rid of a corpse
« Reply #74 on: 04/12/2010 07:28:47 »
Thermite has to be the way to go, come on, they destroyed a terminator robot with it (in the new Terminator series, how sad am i??), bit of organic mush would be easy peasy!!
I was thinking about that...
And it should be pretty easy to make your own Thermite, although it may take some planning to make a few gallons of it.
The fireworks might alert your neighbors though.

The risk is if you make a miscalculation...  then you have a half-cremated body to deal with.

I will tell you that we tried to dispose of a dead deer a few years ago by building a fire over the top of it.  We got some well cooked rotten deer steaks...  but the burning wasn't particularly effective without getting the fire all the way under the body.  Keep in mind you are trying to incinerate "bags of mostly water".
 

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How to get rid of a corpse
« Reply #74 on: 04/12/2010 07:28:47 »

 

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