Gaming tat

What is the worst gaming merchandise of all time?
30 July 2019


A small plastic charmander


Out gaming tat correspondent Alex Rhodes investigates.

Alex -

5) Numbskull has revealed its official range of Borderlands 3 merchandise and the highlight... a 37 centimetre tall statue of the new villain of the series: The Rampager... that you can use as an incense holder. Because who doesn't need a branded incense holder to help them rampage their way to a state of zen relaxation.

4) When Fallout 76 came out there was a special “power armor edition”, yours for a hefty £199 pounds that included a wearable helmet and a bag to keep it in. You might also recall the false advertising backlash when people realized the bag was nylon instead of the canvas promised by the promotional material. Well Bethesda has sent out replacement canvas bags now so everyone's happy right? No. The new bags certainly are canvas and seem to be a vast improvement. But some people still aren't satisfied, saying it's too thin and isn't military grade canvas... just in case you have to use it in an actual nuclear apocalypse. And if you thought that was bad then you haven't played the game itself.

3) In at number 3 it’s Mass Effect 3. If you got the collector's edition from E.B. games you got a metal game case an in-game weapon and a bizarre looking inflatable omni blade. It's worth a Google, but for reference it looks just like a giant inflatable middle finger which coincidentally was what most reviewers and fans thought of the ending.

2)  Sonic the Hedgehog is an iconic part of many of our childhoods and remains a hit with the youth today. So what would you think to give out to the fans on the game's 10th anniversary. A toy a remake of the first game? No. They decided to go with a crystal wine glass. That's right. They released a special edition wineglass for a game suitable for all audiences. Can’t down a chateau neuf du pap in one? You’re Too Slow!

1) Angry Birds. The casual game that took the mobile software market by storm. There's just about every kind of angry birds merchandise that you can think of as well as a pretty terrible movie. But clearly they used up all their good ideas pretty quickly. So someone in the merchandise department went to work, sat down at the desk and thought long and hard for a different way to flog that horse. What do they come up with? A bra. That's right. A bra. There's an angry bird on one side and a green pig on the other. Please insert your own joke.


Add a comment