Review: Surgeon Simulator

22 December 2019

Interview with 

Dr Chris Smith, The Naked Scientists

SURGERY

Surgeon operating

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Dr Chris Smith is of course the driving force behind the Naked Scientists. Leigh Milner and Chris Berrow decided to set him a challenge: to get hold of a copy of Surgeon Simulator, and give it a go... 

Chris - Oh, we're in theatre. Oh, there is a patient on the table in front of me... and it is Donald Trump. I'm operating on Donald Trump! "Do a heart transplant on Donald Trump!" Okay, so next to the bed with Donald Trump on it is a transplanted organ chest; so let's see what they've got in there for us... and open that latch. In this box there are two hearts: I can have a stone one, or a gold one, I can transplant into Donald.

Okay, I've just given myself a needle stick injury, there was a syringe and a needle next to the bed and I accidentally touched it and I've injected myself with whatever was in it and my hand is shrunk to minuscule proportions, which is quite interesting, right? There is something that looks... it's like a martial arts weapon like a rotary saw, or there's a laser cutter. Oh, let's try the martial arts thing. That looks fun! Let's pick that up and.... Oh my goodness, this thing I've got hold of and it's whirling around like a strimmer and it's got about five blades that are going round incredibly fast. Um, ah, ah, it's chopping its way through the bed!

Um, I go and try and remove some ribs are now lacerating parts of the ribcage. Ah, ah, it's doing a huge amount of damage. Um, Oh my goodness. I've dropped it and it's gone inside the patient and... let me try the laser cutter and the other one's gone. Chris, this is so hard. How did you gove me this? It's impossible. I can't control this. Ah, okay.

I've got laser cutter now. It's, it's a bit like a weapon you'd get I think in, in Star Trek. It looks like a lightsaber actually what it is. Okay. It's cutting ribs. So I've cut two ribs and let's cut that one. But the patient is losing huge amounts of blood. Now. My, ah, ah, the medical bill is 14... ohdear the patients died. Oh yeah.

It says that the cost of using the laser was $528,000 and the other saw that I dropped on the floor cost $106,000. That sounds like a bargain room and board though. $199.

Total amount due for a dead patient. $634,888 would you like to try again? No button to call your lawyer.... interestingly!

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