Naked Science Forum
Life Sciences => Physiology & Medicine => Topic started by: DrN on 05/03/2009 22:10:12
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So, in the news today, they report that marriage is stressful for women, but reduces stress in men. Therefore, marriage is good for men, but bad for women.
Does this mean that marriage between two men is less stressful than marriage between two women? Or is it the mixing of the sexes, rather then the gender per se, that causes the stress (on the women)?
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No idea but at a guess I would say the latter one.
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I really think its more that men simply are able to sluff emotional things off easier...you know.. they are not as inclined to let things stick in their craw as often as I see women do ....
Men can be more detached to things.. even maybe less emotional to begin with... thats not a sexist remark but an observation on my part and there are always exception to this. So not so much marraige but basically the mixing of different sexes and personalities...
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In my experience (of gay people, not of of having a gay marriage!) in most gay partnerships there is a more masculine and a more feminine party. I suspect that the respective parties fall into the risk categories of a traditional male and female relationship.
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I agree with Chris.
I have a gay aunt. After a 15 year long live-in relationship she and her partner recently got married. My true aunt, although quite old now, has always been very feminine. The other aunt is a different kettle of fish! A lovely person but she’s built like a brick shithouse, with her cropped hair, masculine clothes and wrestler’s gait. She is a caricature of a dyke. They very obviously fulfill traditional gender roles in everyway except the gender. I have no doubt that their marriage has many of the usual stresses associated with typical gender values and their usual associated responsibilities – although being gay, married born again Christians I would think bring about a few anxieties unique to their situation.
All that seems pretty obvious. What I really want to know (but have never had the courage to ask) is this. If lesbians are sexually attracted to females, why do some lesbians form relationships with dykes, ie women who look like men? The same question can be asked about gay men and ‘queens’.
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OK, so we have decided it's likely to be the interaction between two sexes that causes the stress, but men let it wash over them while women internalise it.
However, in same-sex relationships, one partner is often more masculine and the other more feminine, therefore they have the same 'emotional mix' as a heterosexual relationship. Meaning the more feminine partner of a gay marriage will suffer the same effects of stress as the female in the straight marriage. Is that the gist of everyone's opinions? That kind of makes sense.
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Yes, that's certainly my oppinion.
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Couple of things:
- does anyone know what the comparative physiological responses to stress are between men and women in other stressful situations (bad job etc)?
- women, typically (or at least traditionally), spend more time and energy on housework etc than their male partners, and generally more time thinking about keeping the ship afloat, making sure everyone has a clean shirt on Monday morning, etc... are men able to let it all wash over them because they're not forced to spend so much time thinking about it? there's nothing for breeding resentment and stress like cleaning up someone else's mess if you're not very happy with them anyway (I hasten to add that I know this because I've been housesharing with friends and not-particularly-friends for years, rather than because I spend a lot of time resenting doing housework for daveshorts).
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I think you make quite a good point and I certainly understand and sympathize ...in that it is usually a thankless job, one in which appreciation is seldom acknowledged or given!