[Don_1]

Will the President be making an appearance today?

Aye ham shure yoou vill be vlad to hchear zat zer pchreesident vill be hcheer to ansver yoour qveschuns schortlee. Hche iss jusst putin on hchiss tie.




End of part one.     to be continued....

[Don_1]

Should we bow to this month then? I bet they'll be pleased in Windsor, well, at least half of them might be.

[Don_1]

Part two......

Is the President coming or not?

Pchleeese be payschunt, hche iss jusst dohing up hchiss boot laces.


End of part two.     to be continued.......

[Don_1]

I entered a competition to see who could do up their neckwear fastest, but it was a tie.

[Don_1]

Part three.


Hchi am veery soorey ghentleemans, za Pchrezident vill noht be ayble to zee yoou tohday hafterhall.


I knew it, we've been stitched up like a kipper.


The End.

[Don_1]

The big problem with the world these days is nepotism and the 'old school tie' network.

[Don_1]

In 2011 in Germany, the tie wearer of the year received a stainless steel tie made by......

ThyssenKrupp.

[demografx (OP)]

"How To Tie A Tie" Necktie

[demografx (OP)]

I entered a competition to see who could do up their neckwear fastest, but it was a tie.

Don_1, a visiting dictator was really upset about your neckwear competition tie.

What a tie rant.

[demografx (OP)]

Hche iss jusst putin on hchiss tie.

Or iss hche jusst...

[demografx (OP)]

Is the President coming or not?

Pchleeese be payschunt, hche iss jusst dohing up hchiss boot laces.

[Don_1]

Hche iss jusst putin on hchiss tie.

Or iss hche jusst...

Well, I can't top that.

[Don_1]

Ah! Good old Fred Astair, they don't make 'em like that any more, it seems to be escalat or be damned.

[demografx (OP)]

Ah! Good old Fred Astair, they don't make 'em like that any more, it seems to be escalat or be damned.

I had amnesia and couldn't remember how to walk up the stairs, so I had to go back and learn step by step.

[Don_1]

I'm surprised you remember that.

Did you ask your therapist "Am knees 'ere the best option when stair climbing?"

[Don_1]

I don't want to bring back painful memories, so I'll take care to tread carefully and try not to stare at you.

[Don_1]

I thought we needed a young lad 'ere to help Demo climb, so I rung the hospital.

[demografx (OP)]

Ah! Good old Fred Astair, they don't make 'em like that any more, it seems to be escalat or be damned.

I had amnesia and couldn't remember how to walk up the stairs, so I had to go back and learn step by step.

I'm surprised you remember that.

Did you ask your therapist "Am knees 'ere the best option when stair climbing?"

I did.

My therapist's reply:

"Forget it!"

[demografx (OP)]

I thought we needed a young lad 'ere to help Demo climb, so I rung the hospital.

This reminds me of the time when I was up high on a ladder and I saw a beautiful girl below.

I fell for her.

[Don_1]

I fell for her.

I hope you didn't damage your ardour!!!!