Naked Science Forum
General Discussion & Feedback => Just Chat! => Topic started by: Hadrian on 11/03/2009 15:23:00
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MUNICH, Germany - The city has been abuzz about a neighboring
town's pig incident. It seems that two animal rights
protesters broke into a slaughterhouse to free thousands of
pigs before they met their fate. Armed with bolt cutters,
they managed to clear the way for the soon to be liberated
pigs. As the doors opened, a stampede of pork rushed through
the opening, trampling the crusading protesters and crushing
them to their doom.
oink oink
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Is someone telling porky pies here?
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One of their rasher decisions, I would think.
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they made a right pigs ear of it
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They were a bit ham-fisted.
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But they are bacon the right track now.
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It was sad that they got trampled to death, but I guess it was God swill.
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one in sty i would say
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What a boar-ing thread!!
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LOL
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Sow what?
Here's a little pome [sic] what I wrote.
3 little piggies went for a drive,
Out in the country on the A45,
Look out! Too fast! Put the brake on!
Oops, too late. Now they're bacon
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If Spike Milligan's estate suis (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/sus#Latin) you for breach of copyright don't say I didn't warn you ... [:)]
A very rash young lady pig
(They say she was a smasher)
Suddenly ran
Under a van
Now she's a gammon rasher.
http://www.dooyoo.co.uk/printed-books/milligan-spike-in-general/336121/
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Totally different (although I do draw inspiration from Milligan and Lear)
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emmmmmmm plagiarism alert............ LOL
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3 little piggies went for a drive,
Out in the country on the A45,
Look out! Too fast! Put the brake on!
Oops, too late. Now they're bacon
Very good! It even rhind.
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That's an offal joke.
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All this chitterling is very verbose.
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Theres snout wrong with a good pig joke
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Trotter long you silly people!
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Or, as they say in France, "Porkquoi?"
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That snort funny.
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You can't ride that pig so give me my SADDLEBACK.
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In a pig's STY I will!
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There was a little pig
Who like a bit of pokey
Dying for a sig
It made his bacon smoky
Lying on his bed
Looking a little hokey
He pulled his charismas cracker
And got a little rhyming jokey
Bringing home the bacon
Your might become a hostage
So keep away from the mincers
Or you may become a Sausage!
No not very funny
Poking fun at pigs
I will certainly complain
Now where my bloody sigs
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Lord Almighty, what HAM-fisted verse!
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PARMA chameleon.
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Anyone have any spare rib ticklers?
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i do i them from as talent snout
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OK, come on, KNUCKLE down now and lets get CRACKLING.
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stop hoging this topic............. [:I]
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I'm off for to the barber, # 2 all over, so I wont be able to do my hair in PIG TAILS.
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Don, P-LEASE !!
Stop HAMing it up! Jeees - you think you so funny and you don't even have hair. You're BALD.
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Somebody tell him you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear. If he's bald, he'll need a piggy wig. From a market, probably. Anyway, I ran all the way home. And had roast, er, beef?
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if it is god swill, the hashing will stop
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I'm listening to some classical music - CHOPin.
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Then you also need a little Mozart from SALZberg to flavor your CHOPin.
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And PEASE pudding be on you too.
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We need to get BACH to AU(h) JUS pork, que?
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(The above scores as a triple, I believe)
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A little story that happened to us a few years ago:
Yesterday, my sister was at the house with her youngest boy enjoying the pool. What a better way to beat the heat than read a book while watching your child do his best to pop a pool raft by landing on it from the diving board, you ask? Well I though it was an idyllic setting too, until I got a frantic call from my sister, screaming that there was a pig in the house, a huge pig, that she described with many modifiers ending in "ing".
I left work in the middle of a shoot (on a side note; one knows you live in a rural area when your client doesn't even bat an eye at such an excuse, as if hog invasions are a much more common occurrence than I would have thought, "Sure, hun, sounds like you need to hurry home"). I got home expecting to see "Hogzilla" in an easy chair and was not disappointed. What I found was my next door neighbor's grandchildren had accidently let his prize three hundred pound hog out, and the ensuing chase through the woods came to an end when Wilber went head first through my sliding glass door. The door did not break by the way, even after being bashed off its tracks, landing on a stone floor, and I expect being trampled by said pig. Good glass in that door.
My sister was standing on the couch, still yelling into the phone. She had called everyone she knew, the police or animal control were not on that list. My nephew's favorite thing at my house, besides the pool, is my old, single pump Daisy BB gun, which I am proud to say he was diligently using to defend his mother. Sister got a little miffed at me when I complimented him on his accuracy rather than scold him for shooting a gun in the house, but hey, when there is a hog in the house, rules change. The pig, having found the inside of my house not as inviting as he had hoped had already left through the same hole he entered, the neighbor's grandkids still in the woods, afraid to approach my house.
Today, I'm spending at home, cleaning. No real harm done but it does look like I staged a hobbit mud rastling contest. Every where from hip level down there is a hog sized swipe of mud. I think I'm ready for BBQ and will have an oriental rug, slightly soiled, for offer at my next yard sale.
Pork, the other white meat,
--A
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Allen - that's classic (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing021.gif&hash=44605df69e1507c3ed4d235c15c22e92) (http://www.freesmileys.org)
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If I were to hazard a guess, it would be Tennessee, Arkansas or Kentucky where this occurred. Been to both so it an educated guess. What comes to mind is a place I stopped for a "rest" break in Tennessee. A wide spot on the side of a hill called "Bucksnort" (I am not kidding - it is I-40).
However, as this place didn't have a swimming pool, and most places in KY & TN don't have pools, it must be Arkansas.
Have you considered renaming the place you live Hog Bottom or Hog Ridge, depending on your terrain?
Here we just have feral hogs and javelinas. I just hate Razorbacks - the U of Arkansas mascot - always gave U. Tx hell when there was a Southwest Conference.
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Did someone mention Hogzilla ...
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http://www.nydailynews.com/news/us_world/2007/05/25/2007-05-25_alabama_boy_bags_1000pound_wild_hog.html
[Looks photoshopish to me, or forced perspective (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forced_perspective)]
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RD - that is 1 big porker! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-scared004.gif&hash=3770b5e19b9ace5b51eca305b94a101a) (http://www.freesmileys.org)
I love this quote from the article:
Mike Stone is having sausage made from the rest of the animal. "We'll probably get 500 to 700 pounds," he said.
That's a lot of sausage sarnies!
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Jim - May I be so brash as to FOG you?
If I were to hazard a guess, it would be Tennessee, Arkansas or Kentucky where this occurred. Been to both so it an educated guess.
"Both" refers to 2 options, you put 3. You also missed the "is" between "an" and "educated".
However, as this place didn't have a swimming pool, and most places in KY & TN don't have pools, it must be Arkansas.
It didn't have a swimming pool so it must be the place you did not mention as NOT having swimming pools? That doesn't make a lot of sense.
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I suspect this to be a fake as the kid is resting his left arm on his knee. The 6th grader (12 year old) would need to be really large to be able to do that while kneeling, or even standing, behind a wild hog that size. But I watched the exhumation of "Hogzilla" on the National Geographic Channel and a skull the size of the one they dug up would easily go with a feral pig weighing 800 pounds.
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Jim - May I be so brash as to FOG you?
If I were to hazard a guess, it would be Tennessee, Arkansas or Kentucky where this occurred. Been to both so it an educated guess.
"Both" refers to 2 options, you put 3. You also missed the "is" between "an" and "educated".
However, as this place didn't have a swimming pool, and most places in KY & TN don't have pools, it must be Arkansas.
It didn't have a swimming pool so it must be the place you did not mention as NOT having swimming pools? That doesn't make a lot of sense.
The first two are agreed to. (I was considering two states only, then realized that a third could also be considered. Failed to amend all of the post.) The last, NO!
The sister's son was in the swimming pool. Kentuk' and Tenn. do not have very many pools in peoples back yards. Thus only Arkansas is left in consideration.
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Thanks Doc.
If I were to hazard a guess, it would be Tennessee, Arkansas or Kentucky where this occurred. Been to both so it an educated guess. What comes to mind is a place I stopped for a "rest" break in Tennessee. A wide spot on the side of a hill called "Bucksnort" (I am not kidding - it is I-40).
However, as this place didn't have a swimming pool, and most places in KY & TN don't have pools, it must be Arkansas.
Have you considered renaming the place you live Hog Bottom or Hog Ridge, depending on your terrain?
Here we just have feral hogs and javelinas. I just hate Razorbacks - the U of Arkansas mascot - always gave U. Tx hell when there was a Southwest Conference.
Close Jimbob, North Georgia, in the town of Between.
Goofiest name for a town in history. (town is pushing it, I'd say speed trap but we have to borrow cops from down the way--blink and you'll miss it)
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I suspect this to be a fake ...
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Me too. [:)]
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Thanks Doc.
If I were to hazard a guess, it would be Tennessee, Arkansas or Kentucky where this occurred. Been to both so it an educated guess. What comes to mind is a place I stopped for a "rest" break in Tennessee. A wide spot on the side of a hill called "Bucksnort" (I am not kidding - it is I-40).
However, as this place didn't have a swimming pool, and most places in KY & TN don't have pools, it must be Arkansas.
Have you considered renaming the place you live Hog Bottom or Hog Ridge, depending on your terrain?
Here we just have feral hogs and javelinas. I just hate Razorbacks - the U of Arkansas mascot - always gave U. Tx hell when there was a Southwest Conference.
Close Jimbob, North Georgia, in the town of Between.
Goofiest name for a town in history. (town is pushing it, I'd say speed trap but we have to borrow cops from down the way--blink and you'll miss it)
I considered Georgia - My sister lives near Trinity, Alabama and Going to Atlanta from there it is easier to go through Chattanooga and then south rather to south Alabama and north.
So, did you get 'er done? The mud cleaning that is.
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I suspect this to be a fake ...
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Me too. [:)]
This is no fake, it's Brown telling another huge pork pie!!! Nothing unusual or fake about that!
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I suspect this to be a fake as the kid is resting his left arm on his knee.
I thought he was leaning on the hog
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That Gordon Brown 1 is obviously fake. He hasn't got a twin brother!
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Very good [:D]
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Is that his piggy bank?
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Yes, it has collapsed.
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What the hell... Jim made a joke that was actually rather amusing! [:0]
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Your remark properly belongs in this thread:
http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=21212.0
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Your remark properly belongs in this thread:
http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=21212.0
You won't hear me arguing with that.
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So, did you get 'er done? The mud cleaning that is.
I had no idea until that point why there is a hose spigot inside of my house.
It was very well planned.
The horse bridle in the attic is disconcerting though.
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Hi everyone i think i just piged out...................... [^]
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So, did you get 'er done? The mud cleaning that is.
I had no idea until that point why there is a hose spigot inside of my house.
It was very well planned.
The horse bridle in the attic is disconcerting though.
I would be a bit concerned, myself. Did the bridle come from the horse head in the previous owner's bed or is it the bridle from the horse that threw the little girl whos ghost now weeps each night in the unused room that remains so cold all the time?
There are other reasons to worry - such a German porno film makers passing through - but the dickens is -
NO ONE KNOWS !!
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You need help, Jim.
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[;D]
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Neil! I'm disgruntled. How can you thus disparage our illustrious leader!? How can you liken him to a hooker? Hookers get paid for screwing us. Oh, I see what you mean. OK, fair play to you.
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You need help, Jim.
As well you should be MWAAHHAAAHHAHAAHAHAAHAHAH !
Neil, have you given up your job to Gordon?
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Rebecca Loos? Who?
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Rebecca Loos? Who?
OUTRAGED viewers blasted TV channel Five yesterday for showing David Beckham scandal girl Rebecca Loos (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rebecca_Loos) pleasuring a PIG.
The brunette, 27, stimulated the boar for ten minutes as she collected a flask of semen to inseminate sows.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article95732.ece
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She did what?!? [:D]
Man that's funny. [:)]
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Rebecca Loos? Who?
She is also a friend of your fellow countryman Matthew Ridge (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matthew_Ridge#Personal_life).
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Yes, I didn't even know that until I read that Wiki article. [:)]
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Factivity4life.com%2Fphoto%2FfatBig.jpg&hash=7d21aa377be27631cd527b0a016366de)
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Ones a boar, the other's a bore...but which is which?
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Did anyone see Heston Bluminekks exploding pig on the TV the other night. His diners nearly pooped themselves, especially cilla Black "ooh me uuuur do." I laughed myself silly it was so mad.
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Ones a boar, the other's a bore...but which is which?
[;D]
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Heston Bluminekks
Who?
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Heston Bluminekks
Who?
She is hallucinating again. It was a Weight-Watchers advert.
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Heston Bluminekks
Who?
She is hallucinating again. It was a Weight-Watchers advert.
She was in it as the "before" photo
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Did anyone see Heston Bluminekks exploding pig on the TV the other night. His diners nearly pooped themselves
What do you mean "nearly" ...
Heston Blumenthal has shut the award-winning eatery - described in 2005 as the "the best place to eat on earth" - after up to 40 diners called in to say they were feeling unwell.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/feb/27/heston-blumenthal-fat-duck
You can't say his staff don't give a sh1t ...
Then all 70 staff - including 40 chefs - were sent away to give stool samples, Blumenthal revealed.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/feb/27/heston-blumenthal-fat-duck
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Breaking news: Heston is in the clear ...
Winter vomiting bug hit Blumenthal
4 hours ago
The mysterious health scare that led to the closure of Heston Blumenthal's award-winning restaurant may have been caused by the norovirus bug.
The chef temporarily shut The Fat Duck in Bray, Berkshire, for two weeks as a precaution after 40 diners fell ill.
Norovirus is commonly known as the "winter vomiting disease". Blumenthal said the cause was "categorically not food poisoning".
http://www.google.com/hostednews/ukpress/article/ALeqM5gozsBNPoln-bqZ3gQOGVMUHLngjw
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Is this the same as SWINE flu?
This is a pig thread. (noted by a proud member of the STB - Society of Thread Buggerers)
Please discuss the topic:
Do ells have feelings? And if so, should they be eaten?
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Is this the same as SWINE flu?
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My question was about ells. So you are being slippery.