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First lesson of the day:
Writing with a broken pencil is pointless.
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Second lesson
A castrated pig gets disgruntled
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Third Lesson
If your boyfriend goes out, get a match and light him again
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Fourth Lesson
My hairdresser isn't cutting hair any longer, she is cutting it shorter though.
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If it's a funny old world, why isn't everyone laughing?
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If it's true that "you are what you eat" why are we not all new and improved?
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.met.police.uk%2Fimages%2Fhomepage%2FNSYsign.jpg&hash=e34fd1ac5294db7be879fcf160d69ae3)
Thieves broke into New Scotland Yard last night and stole all the toilet bowls.
A police spokesman said that they have nothing to go on.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fblog.alpscontrols.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F10%2Ftoilet_bowls_waterfall.jpg&hash=6acc47a6dd1f646fddf2b0fd171eebb2)
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A big hole has developed onthe M3. Police are looking into it!
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A man who stole a hold all in an airport asked for three other cases to be taken into consideration.
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You gotta be careful of corn at night. They can be early creepy with their husky voices and seedy appearance. Why, they even cob right out and tell you to shuck it right to your face.
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Latest news: Elevator sent down in controversial court case!
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With hindsight, I could have been a proctologist.
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Does dark matter?
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If a door can be ajar, why can't a jar be a door?
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If a door can be ajar, why can't a jar be a door?
Because most of us are scotched by that type of pun
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Scotched you say? She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
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With hindsight, I could have been a proctologist.
And with foresight??
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Scotched you say? She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
That reminds me of another one.
"She was only an Admiral's daughter, but WOOP WOOP CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED WOOP WOOP"
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She was only an Admiral's daughter...
She was only a statistician's daughter, but she knew all the standard deviations.
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...telegraphist's daughter... did dit dit dit
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...clergyman's daughter...you couldn't put anything pastor.
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A big hole has developed on the M3. Police are looking into it!
Similarly, a hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.
The police are looking into it.
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...clergyman's daughter...you couldn't put anything pastor.
Could you past 'er the peas?
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi287.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fll149%2Fimflitterhead%2FAsaultwithweapon.jpg&hash=e781102e44f72ac2dae9da80f2eca3fb)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.edwardconti.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F10%2Fpun.jpg&hash=aec824cbd21ea087606381b466c54415)
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OK - you asked for it.
"Irish stew in the name of the law!"
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Yup we asked for it, we got it. Your turn:
"Latin me in would be a nice idea."
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Noun there, boys, get a grip.
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Noun? We can't get a grip, it's VERBoten here!
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I decline to comment.
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Oh c'mon, we all know you can ascent to it.
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Knock Knock
Who's there
Diesel !
Diesel who ?
Diesel teach me to start punning threads.
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Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
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Doggone it, Pavlov does - but WHY?
(And I can't keep my tongue in my cheek on this one, either.)
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Pavlov was a dead ringer for his brother.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)
"Doggone drooling brother!"
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Better a drooling brother than a ruling other!
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My vote, so far, goes to Geezer for his Proctology Pun. He certainly doesn't make an ass of himself!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.localmouth.com%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2008%2F10%2Fistock_000003721276xsmall.jpg&hash=34bb948422582bf8cd177f435ba8cb61)
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Better a drooling brother than a ruling other!
This reminds me of a very cruel ruler called Pun-ara.
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or a ruling udder around the house - why I am still a bachelor
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Hey, no fair, that's hitting below the bleat!
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If your math teacher is Miss McClain, would her tests include some Miss McClaineous questions?
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Lest we forget, there is also that old musical number,
"We're Sliding a Gong on the Breast of a Slave."
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If your math teacher is Miss McClain, would her tests include some Miss McClaineous questions?
Yes, but those questions are graded separately by assorted teacher-aides scattered about here and there.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dalegrimshaw.com%2Fimages%2FDaleGrimshaw_Exorcism2.jpg&hash=6a028b5120781b359ec7574ea0e632c2)
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed!
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there is a difference between
merci beaucoup
and
merci beau cue
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both pronounced .... roughly the same
can any one tell me what they meen, its got me into trouble b4 with the wife. however a deep fryed mars to anyone who gets it
and io hope punning in a different language was permitted? [:I]
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demografx: very nice pic indeed.
I hadn't heard of Dale Grimshaw before, so thanks for posting it.
It really reminds me of some of the stuff that Bill Sienkiewicz has done though, and that was my first thought upon seeing it.
However, DG's name has registered now, so I'll look out for more of his work.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F4986-Pirate-With-Missing-Teeth-Hook-Hand-Holding-A-Knife-And-A-Wooden-Leg-Clipart.jpg&hash=65f85d5f14ca752f5ff746817b3fa441)
She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F4986-Pirate-With-Missing-Teeth-Hook-Hand-Holding-A-Knife-And-A-Wooden-Leg-Clipart.jpg&hash=65f85d5f14ca752f5ff746817b3fa441)
She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
Surely that's a matter of a pinion?
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F4986-Pirate-With-Missing-Teeth-Hook-Hand-Holding-A-Knife-And-A-Wooden-Leg-Clipart.jpg&hash=65f85d5f14ca752f5ff746817b3fa441)
She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
Surely that's a matter of a pinion?
Well, as a next STEP, I suppose that we could go get your proctologist's assessment.
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But a pinions are like arse holes - everyone has one.
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And everyone thinks everyone else's stinks.
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Some people have several.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.picturestore.com.au%2Fimages%2Fproducts%2Fmedium%2FLPI1%2FBN22686_31.jpg&hash=b0fbe7c8707081ecc08d667156750f15)
When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
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demo good pic looks the the galreys l'afiette
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When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
Which only goes to show,
"It's a mall World after all."
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F_OO7WbmARD08%2FSSQ2x7pyDRI%2FAAAAAAAAJeI%2F2dVt5g_6Jug%2Fs400%2Fwalt%2Bsmall%2Bworld.jpg&hash=9b8b1438bc932cea562c29e1c7f54d04)
It's a small world after Walt.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fphotos.igougo.com%2Fimages%2Fp318292-Paris-Bridge_on_the_Seine.jpg&hash=8ab4aaec1e73d124803d8805931d83f0)
If you jump off a Paris bridge, you're in Seine.
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or drunk and Parisletic
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charles de gaulle etoile at night, the parisians saw the dark de triumph
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charles de gaulle etoile at night, the parisians saw the dark de triumph
Did he take his lawnmower there to coup de grace?
Isn't the "dark de triumph" the motorbike Batman rides?
and if that wasn't punishing enough
(drum roll)
http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=32020.msg312324#msg312324
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With those types of remarks in the last post, would someone please like to recommend a PUNishment for Greezer?
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With those types of remarks in the last post, would someone please like to recommend a PUNishment for Greezer?
Hey! If you thought that was bad, try this:
Would a Pièce de résistance be the same as 1 Ω ?
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With those types of remarks in the last post, would someone please like to recommend a PUNishment for Greezer?
I looked through the Punning Thread Criminal Code and found no punalty where the punishment fits the crime. Lawnmowers and Batman rides are not punishable by Code. Thus decreed.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flyrics.smashits.com%2Fartwork%2Fa7%2Fa7114805eed19f5c3f5ec735bb1e202a.jpg&hash=34c6924893dd2110d0225988425be1fe)
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One day Queen Elizabeth the First got so sick and tired of all the puns in Shakespeare's plays that she summoned him to her court. "Master Shakespeare," she angrily said, "one more pun out of you, I'll have you hanged!" He replied, "Your Majesty, does this mean you'll make me your poet lariat?"
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ratebeer.com%2Fbeerimages%2F4911.gif&hash=e916af262bf383917253a3672380d2ca)
Thanks to geo driver for informing us of an appropriate beer to drink while contemplating jumping!
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With those types of remarks in the last post, would someone please like to recommend a PUNishment for Greezer?
I looked through the Punning Thread Criminal Code and found no punalty where the punishment fits the crime. Lawnmowers and Batman rides are not punishable by Code. Thus decreed.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flyrics.smashits.com%2Fartwork%2Fa7%2Fa7114805eed19f5c3f5ec735bb1e202a.jpg&hash=34c6924893dd2110d0225988425be1fe)
I hope there would be no punitive damages.
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One day Queen Elizabeth the First got so sick and tired of all the puns in Shakespeare's plays that she summoned him to her court. "Master Shakespeare," she angrily said, "one more pun out of you, I'll have you hanged!" He replied, "Your Majesty, does this mean you'll make me your poet lariat?"
You mean like John Bitumen (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Betjeman)?
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I hope there would be no punitive damages.
None, unless you expressed some fairly pungent criticisms.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.keratoconustexas.com%2Fimages%2Fcontact-lenses.jpg&hash=8abe1679c82e1d13f5817f977039a902)
Contacts are easy to lose, so keep your eyes on them
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Contacts are easy to lose, so keep your eyes on them
That's not really necessary as long as you keep in contact.
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True, Geezer, being in touch is key. I do see that.
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yep and i have brew many a beer like that. well i was there brewer and now a manager
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geo driver, that is beery impressive!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fshambolicamalgam.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F03%2Flast-will-testament.jpg&hash=fc608eb4ed06e6b14ec6e3b0a1bbb609)
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
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and is the thing that holds the coffin together called a potlatch?
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potlatch for you Englisher's
1-1 tie!)
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Ta da! (http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=32128.msg312576#msg312576)
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Oh, you're just dying for attention. Drop the pretense.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.whimsicalcollective.org%2Fdjbalance%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F11%2FClipse_-_Till_The_Casket_Drops-300x300.jpg&hash=4e6e9c8b3ceafa52ac1f2033b11430a3)
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Drop the pretense.
Shouldn't that be "future tense"?
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Well, the future of entertainment might be in tents.
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Tentatively, big tops might be the way to go.
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What does Dolly Parton have to do with all this?
Oh, entertainment. Of course! Why didn't I see that?
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You're right. Dolly has no part on this.
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never been into sheep, too country side
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Then ewe don't know what you're bleating about.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.india.rcuk.ac.uk%2FNR%2Frdonlyres%2F6C9EF5B8-0728-41EE-9CC6-21C36E59D959%2F2352%2Fdolly2.jpg&hash=1eae0193185e0b330a47c2c1dbc2d6ce)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.askmen.com%2Fgalleries%2Fsinger%2Fdolly-parton%2Fpictures%2Fdolly-parton-picture-3.jpg&hash=0b12689871c23e868fdc54f025a6d529)
Dolly Dolly
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Did someone mention sheep ?
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Uh oh!
JimBob must have hacked Neil's password.
Unless, could it actually be...
"The Return of the Wooly Jumper"
And I don't mean he's taking it back to M&S.
(Stay tuned for more exciting episodes.)
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Yessireebob,
yee haww....I'm a Texan wh-ewe has hacked sheepies password...guffaw guffaw !!
Y'all come back now and y'all have a nice day y'hear ?..gawwd bless america land and our king Elvis...yee haww !! ride em cowboy !!
Sheepy JimBob !
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Neilie, I'll ride you any day. I could use your suzzies as styrups.
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Now let's not stirrup any trubble heah.
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Hey, I like stirrup on pancakes and waffles!
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Hey, I like stirrup on pancakes and waffles!
They don't call him "Sticky Jimmy" for nuthin'
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Stucky's? Isn't that a place on the Interstate?
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Places on the interstate always take a toll on me.
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When the bell tolls, it's best not to be interstate. When there is no will, there is no way to avoid a fight.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.district196.org%2Fevhs%2Fpeople%2Fseniorinfo%2Fgraduation_hat.jpg&hash=c0ce949e6fb0c2bd67935a8850bb55fe)
Congraduations to all of you commencing to graduate ceremoniously this fine June - and to the convocation of the graduating classes' friends, neighbors and relatives!
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Hey, I like stirrup on pancakes and waffles!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimagesource.allposters.com%2Fimages%2Fpic%2FFIP%2FFO-00040-C%7EWaffles-and-Pancakes-Posters.jpg&hash=7d7f3c5f8e70ca6abe5ca987c1fb3762)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.parcbench.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F12%2Fstirrup-pants-from-Bebe.jpg&hash=99b86b7d55cfe48264a9303384e48b81)
But what if the waitress doesn't have stirrup-pants?
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You lot can do enough pants over waitresses, stirrup or other.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gis.unbc.ca%2Fcourses%2Fgeog432%2Fprojects%2F2008%2Fcastell%2Findex_files%2F800px-Arrow_east.png&hash=af20a9fd15b3078badd63f31389c4db4)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpotentialwithin.files.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F10%2Fbanana-799094.jpg&hash=fa82315a8a28ddd35dfa56fa9809eba1)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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That is a mutant fruit flie.
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Trouser flies like a zipper.
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That fast???
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Will my TV reception improve if my Aunt Anna is mounted on the roof?
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Your aunt might appreciate being mounted anywhere.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnixonisinhell.files.wordpress.com%2F2007%2F12%2Frcmp-crest.jpg&hash=9e1a98e868ebd6f3c8c172183e6a4150)
You know the saying, "mountees always get their man"!
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That's right! The RCMP now have female officers as well - forgot about that completely. But mounting buffaloes???? Well, if it is part of the GREAT SEAL OF THE RCMP who am I to cast dispersions on the way they ride?
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.oblomovka.com%2Fimages%2Fentries%2Fwificard.png&hash=e5e697d7e11107d50bf024e1c5d36828)
Geezer, I respectfully think that Aunt Anna should signal her true intent.
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buffaloes????
Are you sure? Looks a bit sheepish to me.
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That's right! The RCMP now have female officers as well - forgot about that completely. But mounting buffaloes???? Well, if it is part of the GREAT SEAL OF THE RCMP who am I to cast dispersions on the way they ride?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fus.history.wisc.edu%2Fhist102%2Fweblect%2Flec03%2FWW_show_cody_buffalo_bill.jpg&hash=b67c568762a4e78a66ce032b888d04b8)
BB, shown mounted on a horse
Perhaps we could introduce your Aunt Anna to Buffalo Bill?
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Perhaps we could introduce your Aunt Anna to Buffalo Bill?
Perhaps, but I'm not sure what kind of reception he'd get.
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Oh, that's easy, as long as he gets to hold on to her cute little rabbit ears.
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Oh, that's easy, as long as he gets to hold on to her cute little rabbit ears.
To paraphrase Many Barrowloads, "Could it be FM?"
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpersuasion.typepad.com%2Fphotos%2Funcategorized%2Fantique_radios_25.jpg&hash=517998928830e39a2a48df6b99af22ac)
ultra-modern high-tech digital radio
Radio has taught us a grim lesson: Life is FMeral, with everyone just walking about AMlessly, waiting to dial.
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buffaloes????
Are you sure? Looks a bit sheepish to me.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.batonrougeaidssociety.org%2Fsitebuildercontent%2Fsitebuilderpictures%2FLAMBSKIN.JPG&hash=680da129912d979822fc77f8f480c70f)
In that case I would play it safe.
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Sometimes its funner to be a little RAM-bunctious then to be as gentle as a Lamb!
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Karen... [;D]
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Karen... [;D]
Well you told me to join in and well..uh I can't help it if my mind was in the gutter after your post! :-)
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after, during and WELL before his post.
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Karen... [;D]
Well you told me to join in and well..uh I can't help it if my mind was in the gutter after your post! :-)
No, Karen I don't mind at all - not one bit. I was laughing with you because you won a prize (the shirt)! Now let's see if JimBob and Geezer get tricked into giving away their mindset by "getting" the hot dog pic!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fget_your_mind_out_the_gutter_tshirt-p235322979068339263trlf_400.jpg&hash=2c93f4129687c1be945a6445e453ea92) (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mindinthegutter.com%2FArt%2FMindInGutterLeft.jpg&hash=8db8a021acd9ad5788b643018da69091)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffiles.myopera.com%2FTabmartel%2Falbums%2F633515%2F1imagesa-dirty-mind.jpg&hash=28273f699064a0d972e7190a4af6e16f)
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[her mind's-in-the-gutter] after, during and WELL before his post.
future tents, too?
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What can I say? [:I][;D]
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I just LOVE to have my hot dog catered to ... but I find ketchup not sticky enough. Chocolate syrup takes much longer to lick off.
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Tastes better too!
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I just LOVE to have my hot dog catered to ... but I find ketchup not sticky enough. Chocolate syrup takes much longer to lick off.
Tastes better too!
[:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o]
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I just LOVE to have my hot dog catered to ...
But I thought catering was feline jewelry, not for dogs....??
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.readersdigest.ca%2Fmag%2F2002%2F08%2Fimages%2Fdebt.gif&hash=63102fef39ef9b6363b5250766882add)
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
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You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
I thought that only happened when the Chancellor of the Exchequer was a bit constipated.
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Or when those pet birds from Australia died.
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You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
I thought that only happened when the Chancellor of the Exchequer was a bit constipated.
Is that what is meant about cash flow?
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Yep, your in a pinch. Seemingly permanently.
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If you pinch a penny does it scream?
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.artazine.org%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F01%2FsCREAMINGpENNYLOGO.jpg&hash=7f5b69ffa535d2703d257f4015c37510)
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You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
I thought that only happened when the Chancellor of the Exchequer was a bit constipated.
Is that what is meant about cash flow?
Yep, your in a pinch. Seemingly permanently.
Hmmm. Disrupted cash flow. I guess the only solution is to find a cash cow!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fravesid.files.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F12%2Fcashcow2.jpg&hash=f20f3a961ed18d453557817b31631ca0)
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Frankly, I see no udder way.
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in gold we trust
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.taxfreegold.co.uk%2Fimages%2Fgoldbarjohnsonmatthey5tolas996gold400.jpg&hash=bb82fa008ac67e5b0af9d75cf3464dff)
True, geo driver! But in London it seems that they say "Ingot We Trust".
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Unless the ingot you got was a fake ingot, then I know not!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcache3.asset-cache.net%2Fxc%2F78823641.jpg%3Fv%3D1%26amp%3Bc%3DIWSAsset%26amp%3Bk%3D2%26amp%3Bd%3D77BFBA49EF87892155F29F61288AC1CAD69453CF93C446F534FE5B27B245991F6081D12CC429ECC3&hash=c5bcf308517958ff94fa28bfc6d67ca8)
And a fake ingot throne in as well.
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Frankly, I see no udder way.
I'n got a better solution - it's my goose that done been inseminated by a longhorn bull and now lays golden eggs.
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That's a fableous solution, Jim!
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I'n done got long thought on that 'un. And yes, it's a very stable one as well, cause the goose has water.
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Any more like that and I'm locking this thread.
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Geezer, please don't! Perhaps Jim can unlock some bull here.
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You'd think. That's about all they have in Texarse.
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Texarse? Is that where you found your proctologist?
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I have eaten corned meat that was branded Texan Chilli, very tasty it was too, as far as mystery meat and other by products ( including poultry) goes. The can did not have hooves in it with this brand, others do.
I have met persons who could not find their fundament without a proctologist and a good map to guide their hands...............
I think the goose pate is well and truly cooked as far as this subject goes, I would go as far as to say it's goose is as good as its gander.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.btcnews.com%2Fbtcnews%2Fimages%2Ffreudian_slip.jpg&hash=b625eff9a82d19db38a6568a7c59528f)
Freudian slip
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.markstivers.com%2Fwordpress%2Fcomics%2F2008-05-08%2520Photographic%2520memory.gif&hash=3295f4e12bc327a4b4b47ef3648ae088)
Or...he had a photographic memory which was never developed.
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De-velope is what you do when you open the mail.
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Is that what you do after around 15 years after E-loping?
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Isn't that a website for people that like virtual running.
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Some women develop very early in life. Does that make them developtuous?
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.shelsmusic.com%2Fef%2Fimages%2Falbum%2520cover%2FEf_Mourning_G_Morning2.jpg&hash=8e1f0c5160347fff670efa839257c7f8)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.abc.net.au%2Fscience%2Fsurfingscientist%2Fimg%2Fconundrum21.jpg&hash=1062ba7aa299cc791fd95d48af8677a9)
Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
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now I am thinking about Christina Applegate!
A doctor is asking his audience about dangerous foods, and a old man says to him " Wedding cake "!
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Good one, Sean. [;D]
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A backward poet writes inverse.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi37.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe82%2Fadvisor31%2Ffunny%2520pictures%2Ffunny_pictures_Hottest_Wedding_Gown.jpg&hash=48702052911a644b8871ebd7d59e2c77)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.steubencony.org%2Fmageehouse4.jpg&hash=048f2ec2d435bfeea3b2eedc3a5359de)
With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
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And with the divorce she became a housewife.
I do know a guy who loved wedding cake, but hated the new car smell. He had a car that outlasted 3 wives. All became housewives, they kept the house, he kept the car.
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A divorce attorney from San Antonio came up with a pun, "Remember the Alimony”
The pun became the official slogan of the firm.
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I remember Alimony - it is right next to Antimony on the periodic chart.
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That's not right JB. See, the Alimony is that place in Texarse where David Bowie had his final concert.
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Hey, Geez, DB's pianist didn't tell me that! Hmm, he must be keeping secrets...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Faffordablehousinginstitute.org%2Fblogs%2Fus%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2Fdivorce_furniture_small.jpg&hash=b2c02c1faa7697dfc3dd4ff3a08528d3)
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I remember Alimony - it is right next to Antimony on the periodic chart.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foecotextiles.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F02%2Fsb.jpg&hash=6f28292fa71aa212977623063654791d)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mineralatlas.com%2Fmineral%2520photos%2FA%2Fantimony158a.jpg&hash=5a49fc4ec1fa5ad882d83410b5bbc56c) Antimony
Does this mean that we must have rocks in our head to get married?????????????
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Not mandated demografix, but it does help..........
Do old chemists not die, just become fully amalysed?
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Of course, Sean, now I understand. Thank you.
Analysis leads to paralysis!
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Would Lisa's nieces call her Auntie Mony?
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If you miss the target at an archery competition in Spain, do you get the el bow?
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Not if you're el straight shooter. Or uno heckuva straight arrow.
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That's not right JB. See, the Alimony is that place in Texarse where David Bowie had his final concert.
I lived in Texarsekana for awhile, but I was never sure if I was in Texarse or Arsekansas.
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Would Lisa's nieces call her Auntie Mony?
Only if she bribed them with Reece's Pieces.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.importladen.de%2Fimages%2Fproducts%2Freeses_pieces.jpg&hash=be1572bbf34506a7d8d979835f73b491)
For Lisa's nieces!
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Now I have a song in my head, about ali money!
If you do not pay the alimony do you get your ex returned?
Around here it is very common, it even has a slang nane, namely &&&&tax ( cannot say on a moderated forum, but it is a word of four letters referring to a male chicken), and is a depressingly common thing taken from payslips.
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Like this, Sean?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.hilaryshepherd.com%2Frantsnraves%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2008%2F06%2Falimony-cartoon.jpg&hash=052d8fceebca594dd2b9725656525c3f)
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Middle leg there, not an arm and a leg. To be correct in most divorces the wife gets both arms, the legs and the house and car. The Ex hubby is left with the bills. Equal division.
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Middle leg there, not an arm and a leg. To be correct in most divorces the wife gets both arms, the legs and the house and car. The Ex hubby is left with the bills. Equal division.
Ouch to the middle leg!
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Wow, Sean, it seems like we just don't have a leg to stand on! (But the other side gets a kick out of it)
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Would Lisa's nieces call her Auntie Mony?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mineralatlas.com%2Fmineral%2520photos%2FA%2Fantimony158a.jpg&hash=5a49fc4ec1fa5ad882d83410b5bbc56c) Antimony
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wirednewyork.com%2Fimages%2Fmony_carnegie_mews.jpg&hash=90d4a6e7cd86fbe63a24f6f1ca1293b9)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fscrapetv.com%2FNews%2FNews%2520Pages%2FBusiness%2Fimages-4%2Fmona-lisa.jpg&hash=15cc8105133f751a50df3174862f90de)
It took me a few days to finally see Geezer's brilliant playonwords!
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De-velope is what you do when you open the mail.
There was a Newspaper Headline story about JimBob's Award for his pun above, but I lost it.
Similar to the Award below.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funnytimes.com%2Fplayground%2Fimg%2F123148257940631.png&hash=731f6c7e79ac73f38a2217e337feb535)
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Would Lisa's nieces call her Auntie Mony?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mineralatlas.com%2Fmineral%2520photos%2FA%2Fantimony158a.jpg&hash=5a49fc4ec1fa5ad882d83410b5bbc56c) Antimony
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wirednewyork.com%2Fimages%2Fmony_carnegie_mews.jpg&hash=90d4a6e7cd86fbe63a24f6f1ca1293b9)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fscrapetv.com%2FNews%2FNews%2520Pages%2FBusiness%2Fimages-4%2Fmona-lisa.jpg&hash=15cc8105133f751a50df3174862f90de)
It took me a few days to finally see Geezer's brilliant play on words!
If it were brilliant it would be comprehensible to anyone without being in pictures. A pun is a play on words, not pictures.
This is pure
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De-velope is what you do when you open the mail.
There was a Newspaper Headline story about JimBob's Award for his pun above, but I lost it.
Similar to the Award below.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funnytimes.com%2Fplayground%2Fimg%2F123148257940631.png&hash=731f6c7e79ac73f38a2217e337feb535)
De-velope is what you do when you open the mail.
There was a Newspaper Headline story about JimBob's Award for his pun above, but I lost it.
Similar to the Award below.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funnytimes.com%2Fplayground%2Fimg%2F123148257940631.png&hash=731f6c7e79ac73f38a2217e337feb535)
To tell the tooth I am rather honored.
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Apparadentally doubly honored.
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Would Lisa's nieces call her Auntie Mony?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mineralatlas.com%2Fmineral%2520photos%2FA%2Fantimony158a.jpg&hash=5a49fc4ec1fa5ad882d83410b5bbc56c) Antimony
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wirednewyork.com%2Fimages%2Fmony_carnegie_mews.jpg&hash=90d4a6e7cd86fbe63a24f6f1ca1293b9)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fscrapetv.com%2FNews%2FNews%2520Pages%2FBusiness%2Fimages-4%2Fmona-lisa.jpg&hash=15cc8105133f751a50df3174862f90de)
It took me a few days to finally see Geezer's brilliant play on words!
If it were brilliant it would be comprehensible to anyone without being in pictures. A pun is a play on words, not
pictures.
This is pure
A vast improvement, however, over my original 3-hour slide show.
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That ain't no bull.
Also, I am not Russian spy.
[ Invalid Attachment ]
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Can someone please revive Geezer's image?
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Is it near death? It just looks hermaphroditic to me.
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Well it is a blonde..........
Though I got good news today, i had the winning lottery ticket.
Too bad it was not a winning ticket for me, but it was a winner for the operator. :(
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Can someone please revive Geezer's image?
Is it near death? It just looks hermaphroditic to me.
Well it is a blonde..........
I can't see it. Can either of you?
http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=31700.msg314319#msg314319
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Too bad it was not a winning ticket for me, but it was a winner for the operator. :(
I bet you're right!
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Only half of him is right, the other half is left.
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And the bit in the middle is of course.........
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undecided
( insert sound from vuvuzela here)
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[:o] [::)] [:o] [::)] [:o] [::)] [:o] [::)]
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Only half of him is right, the other half is left.
Make it Lady, did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
(Did anyone else hear that loud groaning again?.......)
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Yes it is one of my customers in the dungeon room.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestgamewallpapers.com%2Ffiles%2F2moons%2Fcastor-dungeon.jpg&hash=95e61044ecca40840a52f766381e6940)
MiL's customer entrance
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Can someone please revive Geezer's image?
Is it near death? It just looks hermaphroditic to me.
Well it is a blonde..........
I can't see it. Can either of you?
http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=31700.msg314319#msg314319
Yes - can't you?
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Can someone please revive Geezer's image?
Is it near death? It just looks hermaphroditic to me.
Well it is a blonde..........
I can't see it. Can either of you?
http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=31700.msg314319#msg314319
Yes - can't you?
That's udderly incredible [:o]
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Yes it is one of my customers in the dungeon room.
Don't your customers get a bit stiff being kept in a dank dungeon like that?
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Geezer, shame! It's NOT a massage parlor.
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No - it is full service.
Udderly delightful.
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Geezer, shame! It's NOT a massage parlor.
No - it is full service.
Udderly delightful.
[:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o]
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You are putting it on a bit thick! Is that Jersey you are using?
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No wool, in honor of Sheepy.
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Ah, so must be covering my eyes then!
I hope it is properly carded, or you will be getting a red one then.
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I remember Alimony - it is right next to Antimony on the periodic chart.
Are you sure? I thought it was the capital of New York State.
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Ah, so must be covering my eyes then!
I hope it is properly carded, or you will be getting a red one then.
I thought you got a yellow one first! DARN!
[>:(]
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I remember Alimony - it is right next to Antimony on the periodic chart.
Are you sure? I thought it was the capital of New York State.
What does a metal have to do with rabbit LUV?
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OK you slakers:
Chose one of the two are get your own.
On the morning of the third day of their honeymoon the bridegroom is reading the TV schedules in the newspaper, but the bride, in the other room, is unaware of that.
He says: "Do you want to see Oliver Twist?"
She says: "If you make that thing do one more trick, I'm outta here."
________________________________________________________________________
There was a small village nestled at the bottom of a hill. It flourished because of the richness of the soil and the abundance of game in its forests. However, one spring the village hunters noticed a sparsity of game. It became increasingly difficult to find birds, small mammals, and other sources of protein. Alarmingly, the farmers noted as the spring progressed that the soil was becoming acidic and the crops were failing bit by bit.
One day the hunters quite by accident stumbled upon the source of their woes. While cautiously exploring one of the many nearby caves they discovered a very large and dangerous carnivore previously unknown in their area. One of them had seen pictures of this animal at a distant market in his youth, and could only recall it being called a Rarie. The foul smell of the beast's excrement immediately told them the source of the soil problems in their gardens, and the piles of bones strewn about the cave provided more than enough evidence for the dwindling meat supplies in their forest.
After much discussion and consultation with the village herb women, the hunters prepared a special "snack" for the dangerous and hungry rarie. They filled a large possum with an herb guaranteed to put their enemy into a deep sleep and left the meal at the mouth of the cave.
Upon awakening the rarie set to and ate possum with all due haste. The herb acted almost immediately, to the villagers' chagrin, since they had hoped to lure the beast to the hill above their village where they could carry out their plan to rid themselves of it by pushing it over the top and down onto the rocks at the edge of the ocean below.
It was necessary to rig a canvas, roll the beast onto it, and pull it with great effort to the village and on up the hill, all the while feeding it more of the herb whenever it threatened to awaken. Finally they had it near the top, when everyone's energy gave out.
More discussion led to a new plan, whereby long sticks would be put under the somnulent beast, and they would lever it up and over the top of the hill.
As they were laboring away at this final plan, a wandering beggar came by and began laughing loudly at their efforts. Offended, they demanded to know what he found so funny.
"Oh, your plan will never work. I cannot believe you are so ignorant," he said. "Everyone knows that that's the wrong way to tip a rarie."
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OMG, I heard that one in 1973!
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He'll be telling us how he "left his arse in Sam Pam's disco" next,
or the one about "two lips from hamster jam".
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)
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Three things -
1.) the rarie's fits well with you two dinosaurs all are old and stale
2.) At least I didn't slack on the thread and got you old coots moving again.
3.) If you do not continue to add to this thread I will tell you the story of how to make a moth ball.
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This thread is on its last legs, I can't stand it.
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However, Geezer, I must admit to wanting to hear all about the <snicker> moth ball [;D]
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This thread is on its last legs, I can't stand it.
Is that a run - on sentence?
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Funny, the moth went out for the track team when he was in middle school. He was a good runner and soon aspired to the Olympics. After days of training he made it to the monthly moth Olympics. (I have made a shaggy dogs story very short.
Just making it to the Olympics was a huge achievement, especially since he was the first moth from his species to ever make the cut for the team. He made it to the finals of the 50 inch sprint. He was in the middle lane. As they were in the starting block one of the two members of the Birch Tree Moths looked at him and spit at him. Taking this as just a mind game, the little moth set his mind and set himself firmer in the starting block. As the gun went off, the Birch Tree Moth bumped him, setting him off stride. But the little moth was tough. He only missed one step and speed on. But then the moth that bumped him did it again, and the little mouth went down, along with all of his dreams in his pathetically short life.
That is how you make a moth ball.
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Blimey!
I thought it might at least have had something to do with the one about giant moths (which, I can no longer remember).
There is nothing else for it but a public banning.
JimBob is hereby banned for at least 30 minutes.
(Sorry JB, but you gave me no choice.)
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JB, you could go to the bank with that one.
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JB, you could go to the bank with that one.
I would not recommend it:
They are nothing but a bunch of bankers.
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This thread is on its last legs, I can't stand it.
Is that a run - on sentence?
Perhaps JimBob will put his best foot forward and add to this, keeping us on our toes?
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Hey, Geezer, I sincerely hope that your Auntie Histamynne's bronchial condition's improved!
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No but his Auntie inflammatory is helping him to sleep at night.
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Actually, Geezer is from a very loving Scottish family. His Auntie keeps him awake all night. That is why Geezer has been BANished to the US.
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Is that a Scottish roll-on deodorant???
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No but his Auntie inflammatory is helping him to sleep at night.
I'm happy that something was found to Aleveiate the situation!
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This thread is on its last legs, I can't stand it.
Is that a run - on sentence?
Perhaps JimBob will put his best foot forward and add to this, keeping us on our toes?
You know, like he gets his foot in the door on great new deals.
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This thread is on its last legs, I can't stand it.
Is that a run - on sentence?
Perhaps JimBob will put his best foot forward and add to this, keeping us on our toes?
You know, like he gets his foot in the door on great new deals.
The best thing is to see Geezer when he dresses up in his tights, tutu and toe shoes.
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The best thing is to see Geezer when he dresses up in his tights, tutu and toe shoes.
You've got a thing about tutus, don't you? Fess up now. We're all family here. There's no need to be embarrassed about it.
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The best thing is to see Geezer...in his...toe shoes.
Hmmm, something's afoot here.
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But at least Geezer put his foot down.
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C'mon everybody, take the first step, and pun, pun, pun. Hurry, or we'll haveta listen to JimBob's olden tales.
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But at least Geezer put his foot down.
Yes he did. And that is what got him in trouble. How do you expect to dance in the ballet in Highland Brogans?
Geeze is now having trouble speaking. After his failure to show up for the performance in toe shoes they gave him the boot.
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That's sad. I bet they didn't walk a mile in his shoes.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.supermotors.net%2Fgetfile%2F647377%2Foriginal%2Fvoyeurism.jpg&hash=77831fe856c6a65fbffbcab6259aba7e)
Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
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1.) the rarie's fits well with you two dinosaurs all are old and stale
2.) At least I didn't slack on the thread and got you old coots moving again.
It is why I have worked for myself these last 35 years. 12 years for someone else was all I could take.
Hmmm, do the 2 above add up? 35 + 12 + ... hmmm [;D]
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I can't get the image of Jimbob in a Tutu out of my head.Geezer what have you done!!!!!!!!!
The best thing is to see Geezer when he dresses up in his tights, tutu and toe shoes.
You've got a thing about tutus, don't you? Fess up now. We're all family here. There's no need to be embarrassed about it.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)
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It 'tis indeed a fine sight, ye know. You have seen me in Les Trockadero, haven't you, Shazza? (http://www.trockadero.org/)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.supermotors.net%2Fgetfile%2F647377%2Foriginal%2Fvoyeurism.jpg&hash=77831fe856c6a65fbffbcab6259aba7e)
Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
Is this the same as Kelly's Blue Book?
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I can't get the image of Jimbob in a Tutu out of my head.Geezer what have you done?
Didn't he tell you he runs the Texarse Bolshoi?
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I beg your pardon, (writer snickers at his deceit) but in Texas we have a Bull who runs the showe. It is in the name, fer cryin' out loud!
Wish you would learn to spell, you foreigner - haggis-eating reject of the BRITISH Isles, even counting Bannockburn.
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Them Texarns is a right bunch of Bolshies if you arsks me.
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Now, now, boise, we don't talk like that in Idy-ho.
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Hey, all, best regards from NYC, been visiting my old home turf. Sweltering!!!!!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.supermotors.net%2Fgetfile%2F647377%2Foriginal%2Fvoyeurism.jpg&hash=77831fe856c6a65fbffbcab6259aba7e)
Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
Is this the same as Kelly's Blue Book?
Yes. It covers auto-voyeurism.
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I am NOT touching that remark - uh-uh!
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You know the old saw of the blonde who was pregnant....... - She asked the doc "Is it mine?"
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Sean...and JimBob.....and Geezer...and Make it Lady.....
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)
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Do you have stomach problems Demo? You keep posting this picture of holding your stomach. I am a bit worried. Please let us know. We are just one big family here.
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Do you have stomach problems Demo? You keep posting this picture of holding your stomach. I am a bit worried. Please let us know. We are just one big family here.
JimBob, you are so prescient! How did you know that this NYC record-breaking heat/humidity has done that to me?? However, I board a big bird in just a few hours back to la-la-land where my troubles will transform once again. [:)]
Thanks so much for your touching compassion!
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The best thing is to see Geezer...in his...toe shoes.
Hmmm, something's afoot here.
Almost like having one foot in the grave.
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You know the old saw of the blonde who was pregnant....... - She asked the doc "Is it mine?"
[;D] [;D] [;D]
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Is this the same as Kelly's Blue Book?
Yes. It covers auto-voyeurism.
I am NOT touching that remark - uh-uh!
TOUCHING?? There goes my stomach again......
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Reminds me of the song as well.
Auto-voyeurism - is that what happens when you ride around " certain areas" looking for something, but not actually having the nerve to " complete" the transaction?
Or did I get it Auto about face again?
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Eggsactly, Sean! That's why JimBob carries Kelly's Blue Book with him wherever he goes.
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No, not really auto voyeurism for me. I should live in Trucke, California having a Toyota T-100
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theautochannel.com%2Fmedia%2Fphotos%2Ftoyota%2F1998%2F98_toyota_t100_4x4_xcab_sr5.jpg&hash=6ed20dba648f4285c67875590547671b)
Wow, Sean, think of the number of multiple "transactions" in THIS baby!!
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I like it over rough terrain.
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Leave it to Demo to comment on something like traction which is just so difficult if just one tire is BALD.
And as for MILf, you can have a ride any time.
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I never tire of the bald.
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Don't you think people should retire before they go bald?
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I like it over rough terrain.
[;D] [;D] [;D]
I never tire of the bald.
Whew! Saved from JimBob! (Bowing before MiL)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.feebleminds-gifs.com%2Fchickenb.gif&hash=4c3b566540c799ba8ed66c6b7fc4d903)
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Don't you think people should retire before they go bald?
But Geezer, then they'll be re-treads...
-
And as for MILf...
[:o] [:o] [:o]
-
I know, I was shocked too. I can't remember who started calling me MIL(f) in the first place. Was it Beaver or was it you Jim?
-
I was confused, was it because of seeing rather too much beaver, or that jim was there bobbing for road apples....
Back to the auto fixation, I find that it is bad to use it when there is no lubricant inside the engine, it only lasts for a short while before stopping. Also you have to use the right kind, synthetic is great, and lowers friction as well, while natural is good for most uses, and is generally very good. Just remember that some are not compatiable with certain rubber seals, and can cause them to fail, most embarassing to leak in the wrong places, it leaves a permanent reminder sometimes.
-
I love a good leek!
-
[;D] [;D] [;D]
(no, JB, it's not my stomach. I like leek : - )
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I never tire of the bald.
Whew! Saved from JimBob! (Bowing before MiL)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.feebleminds-gifs.com%2Fchickenb.gif&hash=4c3b566540c799ba8ed66c6b7fc4d903)
[/quote]
Saved - I THINK NOT!
Your pate is a matter of debate - tire or tired - the latter I believe.
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I know, I was shocked too. I can't remember who started calling me MIL(f) in the first place. Was it Beaver or was it you Jim?
Sean - The Beaver is the late good Dr. Beaver, a member of the forum who has pissed us alll off by up and going on to better things -
He would have LOVED your remarks about beaver.
I love a good leek!
Are your female troubles back, my dear? - Leaking again?
-
I never tire of the bald.
Whew! Saved from JimBob! (Bowing before MiL)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.feebleminds-gifs.com%2Fchickenb.gif&hash=4c3b566540c799ba8ed66c6b7fc4d903)
Saved - I THINK NOT!
Your pate is a matter of debate - tire or tired - the latter I believe.
Look again, JimBob. See how "full" is the red pate above?
Case closed.
-
When I was young we had a hen called Lamebrain. Dog friendly too, a skipperkie is no match for a hen. Her only downfall was that she only laid eggs in flowerpots, and was a surprisingly good cat burglar, able to find her way into the house though any window. That was her downfall, when one day she left a calling card all over mother's dresser and chair.
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I never tire of the bald.
Whew! Saved from JimBob! (Bowing before MiL)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.feebleminds-gifs.com%2Fchickenb.gif&hash=4c3b566540c799ba8ed66c6b7fc4d903)
Saved - I THINK NOT!
Your pate is a matter of debate - tire or tired - the latter I believe.
Look again, JimBob. See how "full" is the red pate above?
Case closed.
HA!
There is NO hair on a chicken. What ARE you smoking?
VERDICT: BALD & TIRED (or is it tyred?)
WARNING, WARNING, WARNING!
Old guy on wheels! Watch out for the electric scooter!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cartoonstock.com%2Fnewscartoons%2Fcartoonists%2Fdpa%2Flowres%2Fdpan2960l.jpg&hash=29fd5d1b70231949cbe8fb737fdd8354)
WARNING, WARNING, WARNING!
Old guy on wheels! Watch out for the electric scooter!
To all unsuspecting females: Let's thank JimBob for being so considerate to issue advance warnings about himself!
-
To all unsuspecting females: Let's thank JimBob for being so considerate to issue advance warnings about himself!
But what about the women who already suspect him? I am not ruddy well thanking him for anything! [;)]
Interpoll issused the warmings about him before he did anyway... [;D]
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Variola, thank you so much for coming forward in spite of his repeated threats, harrassment and heavy-breathing phone calls! Womankind is now so much safer!
-
Oximoron alert! Woman!!!!Kind!!!! we never are!
-
Variola, thank you so much for coming forward in spite of his repeated threats, harrassment and heavy-breathing phone calls! Womankind is now so much safer!
Yeah but they have a lot of sheep in Texas.... I think Jimbob is grumpy because he has a wool allergy...
-
My Mum knitted me a wool allergy once
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Oxymoron alert! Woman!!!!Kind!!!! we never are!
LOL! I second that emotion!
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My Mum knitted me a wool allergy once
[;D]Did it have 2 neck holes and 3 arms??
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I've just put two coats of white paint on my door, I second that emulsion!
-
Variola, thank you so much for coming forward in spite of his repeated threats, harrassment and heavy-breathing phone calls! Womankind Femality is now so much safer!
Thanks, Make it Lady!
-
I've just put two coats of white paint on my door, I second that emulsion!
But first you must strip.
-
JimBob is very keen on wooly alegories. Consequently, he's sometimes quite overcome with emulsion.
-
Demo, I'll be around with my blow torch.
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Geezer to the rescue! [:)]
-
Demo, I'll be around with my blow torch.
[:o] [:o] [:o]
-
Has he got a blow torch too?
-
Demo, I'll be around with my blow torch.
[:o] [:o] [:o]
All three of them have blow torches
-
Demo, I'll be around with my blow torch.
[:o] [:o] [:o]
All three of them have blow torches
They would all blow their own torch if they could reach
-
Demo, I'll be around with my blow torch.
[:)] [:)] [:)]
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They would all blow their own torch if they could reach
[:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o]
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They would all blow their own torch if they could reach
[:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o]
All 20 are very flexible
-
They would all blow their own torch if they could reach
Ah! That clears up something. I always wondered what was meant by, "She's holding a torch for him."
I always thought it was because she was an usherette in a cinema.
-
I got a chance to ush 'er ette once and very nice it was too.
-
I got a chance to ush 'er ette once and very nice it was too.
There's really no answer to that [:)]
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Not a printable one. [:)]
-
As you all well know, I'm not one to "toot my own flute", but I have to say my;
"I always thought it was because she was an usherette in a cinema" would at least have received an Honorable Mention from Kenneth Horne.
-
As you all well know, I'm not one to "toot my own flute", but I have to say my;
Only because you can't reach.
-
I have been known to play a tune on the pink oboe
-
The Cor Écossaise is also quite an instrument.
-
JimBob is very keen on wooly alegories. Consequently, he's sometimes quite overcome with emulsion.
But that only serves to generate revulsion.
-
It was Generate Revulsion, in the ballroom with the pink oboe
-
Nonsense. It was the lead pipe.
-
He lead them out of Hamlyn and far away .
-
Yes. But he was pie-eyed at the time.
-
I hear his name was Simon, simply asking for a taste landed him with two freebies in the face.
( Ok that is a little cryptic here you go http://www3.amherst.edu/~rjyanco94/literature/mothergoose/rhymes/simplesimonmetapieman.html)
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They would all blow their own torch if they could reach
[:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o]
All 20 are very flexible
Like this? (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.feebleminds-gifs.com%2Fchickenb.gif&hash=4c3b566540c799ba8ed66c6b7fc4d903)
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I'm familiar with a slightly different version. It goeth thusly:
Simple Simon met a pieman
Gowing to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pieman,
"What have you got there?"
PIES YA MUG!
I'm sure this is, at the very least, politically incorrect. I only cite it as a reference for academic reasons.
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It was Generate Revulsion, in the ballroom with the pink oboe
Yes, we talked about de Generate Revulsion earlier.
-
As you all well know, I'm not one to "toot my own flute"
So Variola and Make it Lady were wrong after all!
-
The best thing is to see Geezer when he dresses up in his tights, tutu and toe shoes.
You've got a thing about tutus, don't you? Fess up now. We're all family here. There's no need to be embarrassed about it.
Go easy, Geezer, he didn't want to be out of step.
-
Then why does Pox wish me to cruise to Iceland with her? She asked ME!
Adoring women just love dirty old men. Get with it demo. Bald is beautiful. Some women love it.
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Hmm. This forum constantly challenges my Supreme Knowledge...
-
Then why does Pox wish me to cruise to Iceland with her? She asked ME!
Adoring women just love dirty old men. Get with it demo. Bald is beautiful. Some women love it.
Tis true I do want you to come with me [:)] I get a discount if I take an OAP with me..... [:P] Plus I thought your geo knowledge might come in useful explaining to me about the mud puddles that go 'floop'.
I would have to check your clothing before we went anywhere though...... some of your shirts are very dubious!
Anyway you are not that bald.... more sparsely furnished!
-
...... some of your shirts are very dubious!
Wait till you see the tutu [;D]
-
...... some of your shirts are very dubious!
Wait till you see the tutu [;D]
I'd rather see the four four!
-
1
[ Invalid Attachment ]
Here's a recent photo of JimBob and I in our plus-fours. I presume that's what you were looking for?
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Actually those socks are exactly the sort of thing Jambib wears!!! [:-\]
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you are not that bald.... more sparsely furnished!
Wait, I'm less sparsely furnished! Take me instead.
-
you are not that bald.... more sparsely furnished!
Wait, I'm less sparsely furnished! Take me instead.
AH the truth will out!
Led by the lady with the blow -
TORCH
And Pox, I am accompanied by a full suitcase full of petite fours.
-
I was asleep through about a full page of banter - thus the tardiness of my previous post - exucse moi, por favol.
-
I've just put two coats of white paint on my door, I second that emulsion!
But first you must strip.
Demo, I'll be around with my blow torch.
Make it Lady, painting is a serious job! You must finish what you started!
-
And be sure to French Polish the knob very, very well. Other wise it is a failed ending.
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And be sure to French Polish the knob very, very well. Other wise is is a failed ending.
Yes, and I learned from JimBob that "happy endings" are crucial to success.
-
And Pox, I am accompanied by a full suitcase full of petite fours.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fblogs.smarter.com%2Fblogs%2FHaba%2520Play%2520Food%2520Biofino%2520Petit%2520Fours%2520Set%2520of%25209.jpg&hash=cd39a2a30a36e7d75f5224807ea80e9a)
See? One has to watch him carefully, these are rows of only three (3) !!!
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you are not that bald.... more sparsely furnished!
Wait, I'm less sparsely furnished! Take me instead.
AH the truth will out!
No! No! Less means more! Look up 'sparse' or you will get a C- !
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you are not that bald.... more sparsely furnished!
Wait, I'm less sparsely furnished! Take me instead.
AH the truth will out!
Led by the lady with the blow -
TORCH
And Pox, I am accompanied by a full suitcase full of petite fours.
It is about time you appeared I was going to insult you but if you have sweet things I will be nice.... ish!
-
Heeeelllllloooo!
Sorry, but JimBob seems to have dropped off again. I suspect the plus-fours are cutting off some circulation.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnefariouslabs.r30.net%2Fdirty-old-man.jpg&hash=f17a51a53c5ea878ef7d62e7bec4c203)
Congrats to JimBob for His 2010 Award!
-
you are not that bald.... more sparsely furnished!
Wait, I'm less sparsely furnished! Take me instead.
AH the truth will out!
No! No! Less means more! Look up 'sparse' or you will get a C- !
Grass doesn't grow on a busy street.
-
Grass doesn't grow on a busy street.
[;D] [:o] [;D] [:o]
-
Heeeelllllloooo!
Sorry, but JimBob seems to have dropped off again. I suspect the plus-fours are cutting off some circulation.
I do have a life besides sitting at my computer and yacking all day.
_________________________________________________________
sparse /sp'ɑːʳs/
synonyms:
* adjective: thin, rare, scarce, infrequent
I rest my case.
______________________________________________
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnefariouslabs.r30.net%2Fdirty-old-man.jpg&hash=f17a51a53c5ea878ef7d62e7bec4c203)
Congrats to JimBob for His 2010 Award!
Thank you, my dear Shazza. But then we need to hang a hat on the knob - it looks as if Demo has been "keyholeing" on us again.
-
That does look a bit like me!!!! When I was younger that is.
-
As it looks like JimBob in his youth as well.
-
sparse /sp'ɑːʳs/
synonyms:
* adjective: thin, rare, scarce, infrequent
I rest my case.
______________________________________________
Excellent, JimBob!
But not so fast. You're a-l-m-o-s-t there, so be patient.
Now, JB, as I so clearly wrote, "less sparsely" means.......?
C'mon, we all know you can do it! Let's earn that C+ !
-
Less? WHO is HE? Your alter ego or your id?
-
If you read the post carefully, HE is YOU lol.
you [addressing JimBob] are not that bald.... more sparsely furnished!
Wait, I'm less sparsely furnished! Take me instead.
However, JimBob, you are to be commended on your clever camouflaging segues, so...B- ! (I am soooooo generous)
-
Thank you, my dear Shazza. But then we need to hang a hat on the knob -
Won't you look a tad silly prancing around the bedroom with your hat on it? Cute trick, but I say focus, focus, focus!
-
If you read the post carefully, HE is YOU lol.
you [addressing JimBob] are not that bald.... more sparsely furnished!
Wait, I'm less sparsely furnished! Take me instead.
However, JimBob, you are to be commended on your clever camouflaging segues, so...B- ! (I am soooooo generous)
You are too kind OLD boy.
-
awwww, hugs back to ya, JimBob!!
-
Is that why you reposed the two posts above after no one got them the first time around? Hanging buns?
-
No just one. And I wanted to separate the *old* from the new. And since it worries you, I got rid of that one.
BTW it's re-posting not re-posing.
-
As in *old* people.
-
Not to mention that it is seems like it happens again. Or did I already say that?
-
What? Deja vu? Hmm.
-
Geezer disappeared! [:o]
-
Geezer disappeared! [:o]
That, too, is an infusion.
-
Yes it got too cold to hang a hat on his knob, so he went.
-
Make it Lady, if I were out of the hospital post-surgery I would worry about your posts tearing my stitches apart [;D]
-
I thought they used Staples (http://www.staples.com/) these days.
-
Haha. That put me back in stitches. Thanks!
-
Well that has sewn this thread up!
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funnyforumpics.com%2Fforums%2Fthis-thread-sucks%2F10%2FThread-Crap-No_Hope.jpg&hash=c42a1aae6a4ec07f8d953422a11d13eb)
[:)] [:)]
-
Oh so cute. I've lost my big Tom, Mossy. I'm sure he'll turn up. He is not struck on the kitten.
-
There is hope, but we are missing something to knit things together into a complete tapestry, not a complete travesty.
We need to stay on our toes, keep an eye on the ball and not get caught up in a lot of old yarn.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)
(ps - would someone kindly convey to JimBob that there's nuttin' wrong with my stomach!)
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Variola, that is the utmost cutest thread demise I've ever seen!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)
(ps - would someone kindly convey to JimBob that there's nuttin' wrong with my stomach!)
No but if you resemble that cartoon in anyway then your dress sense needs some urgent attention!!! :-D
-
But...but....<sputter>...Variola! I just got these on sale at Toys 'R' Us!...........
-
But...but....<sputter>...Variola! I just got these on sale at Toys 'R' Us!...........
That is still no excuse for wearing shoes like that... [:P]
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But...but....<sputter>...Variola! I just got these on sale at Toys 'R' Us!...........
That is still no excuse for wearing shoes like that... [:P]
The problem is that the thread, Like the Toys 'R us shoes, has no soul.
-
You're such a heel!!
-
I stand firm by these shoes.
-
[:P]
Nice tongue [:)]
-
I stand firm by these shoes.
"Stand fern?" Shouldn't that be "fern stand?"
-
No. Ferns don't stand out. And I'm just not head over heels about them.
-
Oh so cute. I've lost my big Tom, Mossy. I'm sure he'll turn up. He is not struck on the kitten.
Sorry to hear and best wishes!
-
We need to stay on our toes
Sean, you're always a step ahead of me.
-
[:P]
Nice tongue [:)]
Yeah pity such blue language rolls off it...!
-
We need to stay on our toes
Sean, you're always a step ahead of me.
Well put your best foot forward, but change the shoes first.
-
[:P]
Nice tongue [:)]
Yeah pity such blue language rolls off it...!
Actually, what my tongue does best is wrap it self around the little man in the boat for hours and hours at a time.
-
Actually, what my tongue does best is wrap it self around the little man in the boat for hours and hours at a time.
<<<<< checks flight times to Austin. [;)]
-
Ooo, there goes my stomach again...
-
We need to stay on our toes
Sean, you're always a step ahead of me.
Well put your best foot forward, but change the shoes first.
Kick up your heels all you want, I'm not giving in to that fancy footwork of yours!
-
Ooo, there goes my stomach again...
Jimbob does look a bit scary I have to admit....
[:D]
We need to stay on our toes
Sean, you're always a step ahead of me.
Well put your best foot forward, but change the shoes first.
Kick up your heels all you want, I'm not giving in to that fancy footwork of yours!
Not even if I pull my stockings socks up? My best ones with lace(s)?
-
Hmmmmmm..........
-
Too bad you're not just a hop, skip, and a jump away.
-
Too bad you're not just a hop, skip, and a jump away.
Is that a new form of travelling??
And I am nearer to you than..... um.... well someone who is not so near!!
-
You mean you're all interchangeable???
-
Ah, Heather, could I, I would 'Waltz across Texas(1)' with you showing the fancy footwork I once was capable of doing. Alas, Demo has a stomach ache and I can here the growls from his stomach ache HERE they are so loud. It breaks the rhythm of the waltz drastically.
Very disquieting.
(1)
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Dis is more quiet than dat.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funnyforumpics.com%2Fforums%2Fthis-thread-sucks%2F10%2FThread-Crap-No_Hope.jpg&hash=c42a1aae6a4ec07f8d953422a11d13eb)
[:)] [:)]
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmembers.optusnet.com.au%2Fyeseron%2FThread%2520pics%2Fthis_thread_rocks.jpg&hash=e88a1e3a0d49bd0881fa04bc211e4328)
So says JimBob as you can all plainly see!!!
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(Rocks = Geology)
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I like that picture.... it's so gneiss... [:D]
-
With my dyslexia I thought that read Guiness
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I like that picture.... it's so gneiss... [:D]
With my dyslexia I thought that read Guiness
You mean...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fbeer_rocks_poster-p228892823582635909td87_210.jpg&hash=b1d9d6ad80de66fa0cbd3e06b01bd614) ???
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With my dyslexia...
Then you must know the dyslexic cop who was arrested?
He was pulling over drunk drivers and issuing them IUD's...
(I hope this translates OK in the UK!)
-
It does. I have a Marina coil so I'm safe whilst sailing.
When I was told I had dyslexia, my Dad drove me to the Welsh boarders and pointed at all the signs and said "See, you are not the only one."
-
It does. I have a Marina coil so I'm safe whilst sailing.
When I was told I had dyslexia, my Dad drove me to the Welsh boarders and pointed at all the signs and said "See, you are not the only one."
That is twice now I have choked on my coffee..... the first was with the cookie monster quip....
Marina coil....sailing..... PMSL...!!!
-
When I was told I had dyslexia, my Dad drove me to the Welsh boarders and pointed at all the signs and said "See, you are not the only one."
No, you're not. And don't forget the dyslexics battle cry, "Dyslexics: Untie!!"
-
Did you hear about the dyslexic who was also an insomniac and an agnostic? Stays up all night wondering whether there really is a Dog.
-
...choked on my coffee.....the cookie monster quip....
Cookie monster quip? I missed that one...
-
...choked on my coffee.....the cookie monster quip....
Cookie monster quip? I missed that one...
Its on the flash cookie thread!
-
Cookies? Have you checked you browser lately? It sets them all over the place.
And spys on you as well.
-
So THAT'S how the cookie crumbles!
-
No, a Crumble is a totally different item. Set him straight you Britishers.
Or if no one is on-line at 1 AM,
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crumble
-
How did ewe know that Apple Crumb Pie is my all-time flavorite! Yum!
-
It is not a pie. It has no pastry. It is simply an apple crumble. I like a spot of rhubarb myself.
What do biscuits say when you ask them how they are?
"Mustn't Crumble"
-
I guess it is the force expended during the fight that turns you on so much.
rhubarb
*** 4.) An excited, angry exchange of words, especially at a sporting event.
American slang
-
Wiki says, "A crumble is a dish of British origin that can be made in a sweet or savoury version, depending on ingredients used. A sweet variety usually contains stewed fruit topped with a crumbly mixture of fat (usually butter), flour, and sugar." What is different from my beloved said Pie?
Hungry for answers.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mydish.co.uk%2Finterface%2Fmembers%2F240670%2F20095199316328-562670-610310-894374.jpg&hash=aabed19a54523b34f710dac74ab54595)
Crumble does not have a pastry base, like a pie does and the top is crumbly rather than pastry.
That one looks like it has oats in the crumble too.
Yum yum yum!!!
-
Yes, yes, yum!!!
-
Yo, what's on the menu today?
-
I think you have cobbler in the states - well; the mixture on the top of crumble is the same as in cobbler but spread out fairly evenly rather than in balls. crumble is ace. rhubarb crumble and custard is the comfort food of the gods.
Matthew
nuts and oats in the crumble ... shudder of delight
-
Cobbler, something to do with shoes I think? Anyway, today had to be a cobbler myself, as my work shoes suddenly decided that they were soulless, or at least one was sole less, so had to use a little contact adhesive and a few small brads to "persuade" the heel and upper to be good friends, or at least to stick around each other though thick and thin.
As to pie, I do like a good shepherds pie myself, very nice it is. Rhubarb pie too is nice.
-
I thought cobblers were always balls.
-
[:o] [:o] [:o]
-
Cobbler, something to do with shoes I think?
At last! A good example of foot-in-mouth!
-
Yo, what's on the menu today?
Chem, nice to see you again!
-
Yo, what's on the menu today?
EXUBERANT SMILES AND WELCOME BACKS
AND
(evil grin) - Another person to beat up on!!!
-
Cobbler, something to do with shoes I think?
At last! A good example of foot-in-mouth!
I thought it was hoof-and-mouth disease.
-
I hoof no answer to that one!
-
...WELCOME BACKS...
Like this?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.musicranch.ch%2FBilder%2Fpink-floyd-backs-5000178.jpg&hash=8cc08dab1f7e52d3772d1b691ac7589e)
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...WELCOME BACKS...
Like this?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.musicranch.ch%2FBilder%2Fpink-floyd-backs-5000178.jpg&hash=8cc08dab1f7e52d3772d1b691ac7589e)
Yes, quite so !!! Only closeups and ... er, a spot of tea??
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I hoof no answer to that one!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-devil12.gif&hash=0bd627615d91fe9790d998e34d997e9f) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-devil25.gif&hash=8d0c69c2da54fad83c756decf90ba787) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
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...WELCOME BACKS...
Like this?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.musicranch.ch%2FBilder%2Fpink-floyd-backs-5000178.jpg&hash=8cc08dab1f7e52d3772d1b691ac7589e)
Yes, quite so !!! Only closeups and ... er, a spot of tea??
"Spot of tea"???? JB, stop pretending culture/civilization, you're in Texas, not Great Britain!!!!!!
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...WELCOME BACKS...
Like this?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.musicranch.ch%2FBilder%2Fpink-floyd-backs-5000178.jpg&hash=8cc08dab1f7e52d3772d1b691ac7589e)
Yes, quite so !!! Only closeups and ... er, a spot of tea??
"Spot of tea"???? JB, stop pretending culture/civilization, you're in Texas, not Great Britain!!!!!!
You are quite right, my man. But my tea is English, properly brewed from loose tea in a pot (a Brown Betty, to be exact) already hot and served only with milk.
I have been drinking tea like this for 35 years, ever since I lived in University Village within Houston and walked into a shop named "British Market"
My latest tea of favor came via a CARE package from Sheepy. The package included proper biscuits of several types, a tea from Belfast named "Punjava," a box Of Earl Grey from Twinings, a box of P.G. Tips and a new market brand, London Cuppa' which is a delightful "every day" tea. I was so enamored of this last tea I order a kilo.
Any questions, my dear boorish lout?
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I sit here cringing, loutish Coffee Bean coffee in hand, slurping loudly, hoping against hope that Sheepy will one day refine/save me too from this Crass Commercial California existence.
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WAIT! Exoneration? I am typing this from my kitchen closet:
English Classic Tea (with a piccy of Big Ben on da box!)
Chai Tea
Harrisons & Crosfield
Classic English Tea Merchants
Classic Earl Grey Tea
Imported from England
Plus a dozen or so assorted herbal tea concoctions.
Nyah, nyah!
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WAIT! Exoneration? I am typing this from my kitchen closet:
English Classic Tea (with a piccy of Big Ben on da box!)
Chai Tea
Harrisons & Crosfield
Classic English Tea Merchants
Classic Earl Grey Tea
Imported from England
Plus a dozen or so assorted herbal tea concoctions.
Nyah, nyah!
In order to be totally cleared of the embarrassment, one must not use tea bags. They are so "lower class." But on occasion we all sacrifice tradition for convenience.
But alas, the Americanization of teas purchased from Harrisons & Crosfield is complete. Their website is described their teas thus: "Harrisons & Crosfield teas are unique as they are blended in England to renowned British tea industry quality levels & American tastes ..."
And this "Twinings English Classic Cold Brewed" just does not sound British. No way, no how.
OH! The ignomy of it all, the shame!
(ignomy - Shakespearean spelling - not the new-fangled cra*py way the pundits have abused it)
Exoneration? - NAY! I say, NAY!
Excriment-aion - most likely. (That is the pun in this post)
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And there I was today, going past Entyce ( formerly Tea Blenders) and admiring the tea dust emanating out from the extractor fans.
Tea, tea, tea, it just gets on my nerves! To quote from a favourite OTR show I used to listen to - The Men From The Ministry.
I do miss Springers.
Anyhow, I rather like Earl Grey, and am not a fan of most tea bags, as I prefer to use them as firelighters ( soak used ones in paraffin and light), having been exposed to some truly horrible substances masquerading as tea in the past. Worst tasted like pineapple, though that could be because everything had pineapple added, as they were in season and the catering staff had a 10 ton load to use up before it went bad.
I do like a nice coffee, fresh roast is best, but if not then a granule, Nescafe Classic or Jacobs.
Worst is a well known brand catering quality coffee - to make one cup I would add 5 dessertspoons of brown powder/coffee to hot water, stir, add sugar and milk, and still it did not taste like coffee. I did find one person who liked it, strange that, you cannot account for some people's tastes ( or lack therof), though it did make a pretty fair grinding compound.
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<sigh> back to Yuban, might as well admit it...even the tea bags in the closet aren't mine...<sheesh>
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.magiclanterngraphics.com%2Fkangaroo_throwing_boomerang_hg_clr.gif&hash=8bac68202aa235bb7d7fe8b2613aa382)
I forgot how to throw a boomerang, but soon it came back to me.
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I do miss Springers.
Consensually, I hope.
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Only if you have a permit - or license.
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In order to be totally cleared of the embarrassment, one must not use tea bags. They are so "lower class." But on occasion we all sacrifice tradition for convenience.
But alas, the Americanization of teas purchased from Harrisons & Crosfield is complete. Their website is described their teas thus: "Harrisons & Crosfield teas are unique as they are blended in England to renowned British tea industry quality levels & American tastes ..."
And this "Twinings English Classic Cold Brewed" just does not sound British. No way, no how.
OH! The ignomy of it all, the shame!
(ignomy - Shakespearean spelling - not the new-fangled cra*py way the pundits have abused it)
Exoneration? - NAY! I say, NAY!
Excriment-aion - most likely. (That is the pun in this post)
Silly fellow.
Unless you happen to have a hyperbaric chamber, you can't make proper tea in Austin. You can't get the water hot enough at that elevation.
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Silly fellow.
Unless you happen to have a hyperbaric chamber, you can't make proper tea in Austin. You can't get the water hot enough at that elevation.
Thanks, Geezer, I was having trouble beating up on him all by myself.
Besides, couldn't JB just go here?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flh5.ggpht.com%2FEvsMfsF49wWX89mIn2-x-wTPwjfpJZ4FvxOowJtjxZdte3ii2iOkG_wWAoWxk8W-UIgYR4ipCyHx_prBImYoIMNVV95LNIjOJl-UWnPsAgiAitJX-DaZd12Uc7G0Apxo5yALUulLbTl0&hash=602d16233a948d2394626f82466c955c)
Elevation Burger
9828 Great Hills Trail, Austin, Texarse 78759-6391
(512) 608-4054
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Silly fellow.
Unless you happen to have a hyperbaric chamber, you can't make proper tea in Austin. You can't get the water hot enough at that elevation.
Thanks, Geezer, I was having trouble beating up on him all by myself.
Besides, couldn't JB just go here?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flh5.ggpht.com%2FEvsMfsF49wWX89mIn2-x-wTPwjfpJZ4FvxOowJtjxZdte3ii2iOkG_wWAoWxk8W-UIgYR4ipCyHx_prBImYoIMNVV95LNIjOJl-UWnPsAgiAitJX-DaZd12Uc7G0Apxo5yALUulLbTl0&hash=602d16233a948d2394626f82466c955c)
Elevation Burger
9828 Great Hills Trail, Austin, Texarse 78759-6391
(512) 608-4054
No. He'd need to go spelunking instead.
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Yes! I do see the Cave Man thinking style!
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Silly fellow.
Unless you happen to have a hyperbaric chamber, you can't make proper tea in Austin. You can't get the water hot enough at that elevation.
Thanks, Geezer, I was having trouble beating up on him all by myself.
Besides, couldn't JB just go here?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flh5.ggpht.com%2FEvsMfsF49wWX89mIn2-x-wTPwjfpJZ4FvxOowJtjxZdte3ii2iOkG_wWAoWxk8W-UIgYR4ipCyHx_prBImYoIMNVV95LNIjOJl-UWnPsAgiAitJX-DaZd12Uc7G0Apxo5yALUulLbTl0&hash=602d16233a948d2394626f82466c955c)
Elevation Burger
9828 Great Hills Trail, Austin, Texarse 78759-6391
(512) 608-4054 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting (512) 608-4054 end_of_the_skype_highlighting
No. He'd need to go spelunking instead.
Yes! I do see the Cave Man thinking style!
Elevation Burger?? That is like going to McDonald's for gourmet coffee!
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Thanks for pointing this out, Demo. I do see Geezer's caveman thinking style.
As for whether I can boil a decent cup of tea, well pardon me, sir, BUT I believe you are the one who cannot get the water hot enough, miserable Scottish outcast. At your home, the altitude is 680 meters or 2231 feet. I live at 265 meters (869 feet) Thus to make a proper cup of tea I need heat my water to the astounding temperature of 210.460 F, (99.145 C) whereas you, the skirt wearing crotchety old man in the Selkirk's, must only heat your pot to the ridiculously low temperature 208.015 F (97.786 C)
Considering this, it is self-evident that tea I make will be much, more close to a proper cup of tea than anything said Geezer makes.
(who says we are not scientists here???)
Besides, has anyone ever tried to swallow a mouthful of the despised, contemptible, mean, vile, Scottish Breakfast Tea??? It is the most unpleasant tea to which I have ever subjected myself. It is what I imagine it would be like taste the fresh cut wool from the loins of an un-neutered sire ram. The Scottish Breakfast tea was available for a short while several years ago in a red box but Twinings had the good sense to discontinue this travesty. Taylors of Harrogate has yet to see the error of their ways.
And the two of you - FOR SHAME! & Tisk, tisk. - trying to outdo the master. Hurmph! The sink-holes riddling the karsts of your minds has caused your brains to become like Swiss cheese. Spelunking in those karts would like be wading in a cesspool
Don't Mess With Texas!!
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Don't Mess With Texas!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FPackSquare.jpg%3Ft%3D1281596854&hash=7314088d2b95e6bd1a5b91728797592a)
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As for whether I can boil a decent cup of tea, well pardon me, sir, BUT I believe you are the one who cannot get the water hot enough, miserable Scottish outcast. At your home, the altitude is 680 meters or 2231 feet. I live at 265 meters (869 feet) Thus to make a proper cup of tea I need heat my water to the astounding temperature of 210.460 F, (99.145 C) whereas you, the skirt wearing crotchety old man in the Selkirk's, must only heat your pot to the ridiculously low temperature 208.015 F (97.786 C)
Jambib, you need to get out more.... [::)]
(who says we are not scientists here???)
Me..... you are a rock-hugger, that isn't science, in your case it is more like paraphilia [:P]
It is the most unpleasant tea to which I have ever subjected myself. It is what I imagine it would be like taste the fresh cut wool from the loins of an un-neutered sire ram.
What has Neil been sending ewe??? [:o]
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(who says we are not scientists here???)
Me..... you are a rock-hugger, that isn't science, in your case it is more like paraphilia [:P]
Petraphilia is legal in Texas. Or did you mean paraphernalia?? [:0]
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Petraphilia is legal in Texas. Or did you mean paraphernalia?? [:0]
Well, as Yogi Berra says,
"There's nothing wrong with a bit of incest, as long as you keep it in the family."
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Rocks are family???
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I am in Scotland this week and boy, can they make a cup of tea. They use actual leaves and not scummy tea bags. The most important thing about Tea making is the water and in the North of this wonderful isle it is the best. I climbed Ben Nevis this week and Tea tastes so much better when you've earnt it. So JimBob you need to climb a few mountains in order to appreciate real Tea.
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I am in Scotland this week and boy, can they make a cup of tea. They use actual leaves and not scummy tea bags. The most important thing about Tea making is the water and in the North of this wonderful isle it is the best. I climbed Ben Nevis this week and Tea tastes so much better when you've earnt it. So JimBob you need to climb a few mountains in order to appreciate real Tea.
My mum was a true officianado of the art. Her fav. was Typhoo - and never in bags.
On one famous occasion in the South of France, she was so pissed off because she couldn't get a decent cup of tea that she went behind the bar in a cafe and showed the bartender how to make it!
I imagine there was still a bit of snow on Ben Nevis this year. It's a dangerous place. The weather can get very ugly in no time at all.
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We have had beautiful weather in Scotland this week. I had a 180 degree view at the top of Ben and it was sunny for 60% of the climb. No Snow at all due to climate change. I have a large blister and my muscles don't work any more!
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whereas you, the skirt wearing crotchety old man in the Selkirk's, must only heat your pot to the ridiculously low temperature 208.015 F (97.786 C)
Well, a real geeholergist would know that I live in "the gem state" (unlike "the bull-puckey state" aka Texarse) and that there are a lot of mines here, so I always descend to 50 feet above sea level at tea time.
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whereas you, the skirt wearing crotchety old man in the Selkirk's, must only heat your pot to the ridiculously low temperature 208.015 F (97.786 C)
Well, a real geeholergist would know that I live in "the gem state" (unlike "the bull-puckey state" aka Texarse) and that there are a lot of mines here, so I always descend to 50 feet above sea level at tea time.
RRRRIIIIGGGGHHHHTTTT !!!!!
Like I really believe that (snicker!)
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whereas you, the skirt wearing crotchety old man in the Selkirk's, must only heat your pot to the ridiculously low temperature 208.015 F (97.786 C)
Well, a real geeholergist would know that I live in "the gem state" (unlike "the bull-puckey state" aka Texarse) and that there are a lot of mines here, so I always descend to 50 feet above sea level at tea time.
The Lone Star State, for your information.
And how can Scottish Breakfast tea be even compared to any other real black tea??
Petrophilia gets your rocks off!
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whereas you, the skirt wearing crotchety old man in the Selkirk's, must only heat your pot to the ridiculously low temperature 208.015 F (97.786 C)
Well, a real geeholergist would know that I live in "the gem state" (unlike "the bull-puckey state" aka Texarse) and that there are a lot of mines here, so I always descend to 50 feet above sea level at tea time.
The Lone Star State, for your information.
And how can Scottish Breakfast tea be even compared to any other real black tea??
Petrophilia gets your rocks off!
Are you busting my stones?
Ah yes. Willie Nelson is the lone star of Texarse.
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Petrophilia gets your rocks off!
Are you busting my stones?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)
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Ah yes. Willie Nelson is the lone star of Texarse.
What about this Texas policewoman? Just a Dolly P. wannabe?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clumsycrooks.com%2Fbusty.jpg&hash=71002bc02389a6c0046bee3585594be2)
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[Reporting from Scotland!]
I have a large blister
OK, OK, I won't ask where...
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F52b31627c33845d0b6aa216837a26ffc_0.jpg%3Ft%3D1281667380&hash=21e6da2bafbb92f79e5b7a22e958f793)
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Hot off the wire!
8-12-2010
Austin, TX
Reuters
By Tom Jones
Speaking at his home, the the Speaker of the House's Apartment in the Capital of Texas building,
JimBob was asked about the article concerning a imaginary "feud" between his state and the state of Idaho which appeared in the notoriously erroneous "Punning Times," also know a the flagship name in liberal Yellow Journalism. We quote the most cogent of his very erudite comments.
"Now, the nuclear option was not on the board because the sanctions are working. Yet the interference of the liberal press in this matter is causing concern to our Department of State. We disavow all actions and libelous statements made by the worrisome rag and reject any unilateral action on our part.
"We obviously are superior to the man in the Catholic school-girl uniform skirt. We need not defend ourselves."
BESIDES
Demo has too much time on his hands! Doesn't he have a job or a hobby? What about getting him a pet fish? Can he be trusted with the care of a dog? Bloody hell, what is wrong with this agitator??????
It is time for us to seek a home for this elderly, misanthropic troublemaker.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clumsycrooks.com%2Fbusty.jpg&hash=71002bc02389a6c0046bee3585594be2)
This just in from CNN!
Friday the 13th, 2010
JimBob arrested outside his House/Home/Apartment for outrageously libelous statements made in the press against St. Demografx, the very first individual ever canonized while still alive.
Police Staff Sgt. M. I. Bigg, Austin PD CKU (Carnal Knowledge Unit), shown above, says she has nothing but contempt for JimBob, who refused to show a good ol' boy Texan-resisting-arrest struggle which she patiently awaited while JB simply allowed the strip-search procedure to go without a struggle. Harrumph!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpunpunpun.com%2Fimages%2FPoster2010_LargePunOff.jpg&hash=c9a23889e77a38e1714a42b9d6c98977)
Finally, a Claim To Fame
for JimBob's Beloved Austin, TX!!
That's where the World Punning Championship is held!
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Somehow I think we have gotten our knickers in a knot, gone off the straight and narrow, been punning and oblivious, and have taken the teapot and have thrown it out with the bath water.
Seriously, I think we are punning it on a bit thick, making a mountain out of a teabag, and are bagging each other silly, all over two leaves and a bud originally from Darjeeling, and now, as it is said by some, being pretentious over a mere colour and assorted dissolved solutions of dried and mixed plant leaves that have steeped in hot water.
Tea is a sacred ritual, and the only tea to drink is the one that you prefer, not any other. As the one closest to sea level, at a mere 5m ASL at work ,and at 80m ASL at home, I can guarantee you all that the water is more important than anything else, and living in a city with good quality water is very important, as this influences the taste of the brew considerably.
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...solutions of dried and mixed plant leaves that have steeped...
SeanB, this means that the whole thread is in hot water???
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I can guarantee you all that the water is more important than anything else, and living in a city with good quality water is very important, as this influences the taste of the brew considerably.
Interesting, Sean. On a serious note <no giggles> it took me _decades_ to find out why my old NYC pizza was so superior to the crappy L.A. pizza.
Yup, it's the water.
Some pizza merchants out here go to significant expense to import the water from NYC, or to filter and re-filter it many times over in order to achieve the same level of quality.
Now THIS is Science!
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Demo has too much time on his hands! Doesn't he have a job or a hobby? What about getting him a pet fish? Can he be trusted with the care of a dog? Bloody hell, what is wrong with this agitator??????
It is time for us to seek a home for this elderly, misanthropic troublemaker.
And your point is?
(Harrumph. That'll show him!)
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Spot-on, sharp, barbed, intrinsically correct.
Pun on, my good fellows, the chase is on for suitable punning material.
Lets begin with the phrase "The clothes are on the Rack"
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Especially at the Austin PD.
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Pun on, my good fellows
A slap in the face to The Lovely Ladies! Apology!
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fellow - A member of a literary or scientific society; as, a Fellow of the Royal Society.
This is the TNS punning fellowship. Women are not excluded; far from it.
They are the ones with the racks!
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Fellowship - a gathering of like minded Hobbits, or a group with common aims, hopefully not destined to immolation as the counterpoint to a sad tale of want, determination and really big hairy feet, destined to eat raw fish, and not sushi to be worried about anything other than a mythical ring said to bind all together.
Somehow I am all tolkiened out, and feel a little like Gollum after loosing the ring.
I hope to avoid the rack though, I feel I have been stretched out enough for the day.
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Primary definitions for "fellow":
From The Oxford Dictionary:
fellow (fel·low)
Pronunciation:/ˈfelō/noun
1 informal a man or boy:
he was an extremely obliging fellow
a boyfriend or lover:
has she got a fellow?
From Princeton University WordNet:
chap: a boy or man; "that chap is your host"; "there's a fellow at the door"; "he's a likable cuss"; "he's a good bloke"
an informal form of address for a man; "Say, fellow, what are you doing?"; "Hey buster, what's up?"
boyfriend: a man who is the lover of a girl or young woman; "if I'd known he was her boyfriend I wouldn't have asked"
From American Heritage Dictionary
fel·low /ˈfɛloʊ/ Show Spelled[fel-oh] Show IPA
–noun
1. a man or boy: a fine old fellow; a nice little fellow.
2. Informal . beau; suitor: Mary had her fellow over to meet her folks.
From American Heritage Dictionary Idioms & Phrases
fellow
see regular guy (fellow); strange bedfellows
From The Free Dictionary:
fel·low (fl)
n.
1.
a. A man or boy.
b. Informal A boyfriend.
From Roget's Thesaurus:
Noun 1. fellow - a boy or man; "that chap is your host"; "there's a fellow at the door"; "he's a likable cuss"; "he's a good bloke"
bloke, chap, fella, lad, blighter, feller, gent, cuss
male person, male - a person who belongs to the sex that cannot have babies
dog - informal term for a man; "you lucky dog"
Quick! Apologies now to The Wonderful Ladies of Punning - before it's too late and the punishment goes up a notch!! Take advantage now, gents! (er, I mean fellows)
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Fella- from the word fellatio [:P] [;D]
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Fella- from the word fellatio [:P] [;D]
To My Wonderful Variola Lady/Woman/Female/NonFellow: You took the words right out of my, er, mouth...and you beat me to it!
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I would call this absolutely treacherous, unforgivable word-distortion.........WaterFellowgate!
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Fella- from the word fellatio [:P] [;D]
To My Wonderful Variola Lady/Woman/Female/NonFellow: You took the words right out of my, er, mouth...and you beat me to it!
[:I] [:I] [:I] awww. You are so much nicer to me than that Jimbob...
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<bowing graciously>
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Lets begin with the phrase "The clothes are on the Rack"
A punny place to hang your clothes
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fd7ee12b8.jpg%3Ft%3D1281904613&hash=05aa794c4d32346af440743a3a130c37)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmemegenerator.net%2FLame-Pun-Coon%2FImageMacro%2F1156054%2FLame-Pun-Coon-Two-hats-were-hanging-on-a-hat-rack-in-the-hallway-One-hat-says-to-the-other-You-stay-here-Ill-go-on-a-head.jpg&hash=7d151fdc313c6ac62cef096b6e6d4ab0)
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All freezers are male! Do you know how I know?
"Freezer jolly good fellow, freezer jolly good fellow"
Punning thread fixed and back on track!
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LOL, Make it Lady. A hearty welcome rack back!
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All freezers are male! Do you know how I know?
"Freezer jolly good fellow, freezer jolly good fellow"
Punning thread fixed and back on track!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbrneurosci.org%2Finfo%2Fterminator2.jpg&hash=0e750dec71682d51253eac7584f44b05)
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...Fellowship.....
...I hope to avoid the rack though, I feel I have been stretched out enough for the day.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.offthemarkcartoons.com%2Fcartoons%2F1993-04-22.gif&hash=1327769bbe6861cebcd9252ca2eead62)
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And lest we forget.........
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F991.com%2FnewGallery%2FBurt-Bacharach-Magic-Moments---T-450490.jpg&hash=d51cbce80031acb2656da5895528e457)
(They didn't have SpellCheck back then)
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...Fellowship.....
...I hope to avoid the rack though, I feel I have been stretched out enough for the day.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.offthemarkcartoons.com%2Fcartoons%2F1993-04-22.gif&hash=1327769bbe6861cebcd9252ca2eead62)
I'd attach the ropes somewhere else as I like to stretch a point!
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But too much stretching and it becomes pointless!
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Punning thread fixed and back on track rack!
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Punning thread fixed and back on track rack!
It took a LONG time to get back to the POINT.
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But a pinions are like arse holes - everyone has one.
And everyone thinks everyone else's stinks.
Some people have several.
Geezer was right!
http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i80717
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Quote from: JimBob on 09/06/2010 01:00:15
But a pinions are like arse holes - everyone has one.
Quote from: demografx on 09/06/2010 01:09:09
And everyone thinks everyone else's stinks.
Quote from: Geezer on 09/06/2010 01:13:30
Some people have several.
Geezer was right!
http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i80717
And some people marry theirs too thinking it might change.... [;)]
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And everyone knows that a psychiatrist cannot change a light bulb unless the light bulb REALLY wants to change.
That is why Geezer is so dull.
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1st Kid:
How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?
2nd Kid:
I dunno, how many?
1st Kid:
I'm going to ride my bicycle now.
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It sounds as if 'add' is less.
That is mathematically impossible except in theoretical numbers.
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That is mathematically impossible except in theoretical numbers.
FFS! Stop ogling rocks all day and get out more....!
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
10- 1 to change it and 9 to write a paper entitled "Coping with darkness" [;D]
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Haha!! Variola strikes again!! [;D] [;D] [;D]
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That is mathematically impossible except in theoretical numbers.
FFS! Stop ogling rocks all day and get out more....!
Like this, Var?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flh4.ggpht.com%2F_WmATPiE0GtE%2FSOJNPa5Uf8I%2FAAAAAAAAAZQ%2Fbdj-SnweCes%2FIMG_2200.JPG&hash=bdfecce763bcadf7ebfad91de3bc9765)
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10 [psychiatrists]- 1 to change it [the lightbulb] and 9 to write a paper entitled "Coping with darkness" [;D]
Yep. And here it is!
http://www.mysticaljudaism.org/Coping_With_Darkness.pdf
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It sounds as if 'add' is less.
That is mathematically impossible except in theoretical numbers.
I am trying to get the thread back to PUNS!!! The above WAS a pun of the previous message.
So what does it take to refocus on puns?
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So what does it take to refocus on puns?
Twiddling the knob usually sets the focus ok for me... [;)]
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JimBob is right!!! We've lost our way!!! Let's all refocus on
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.irregardless.net%2Fpunster%2Fpuns-punspunspuns.jpg&hash=2494fab246d286bcd53fb7a2187eefd8)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fi_heart_puns_tshirt-p235116072170340465qw9u_400.jpg&hash=27a2da09b8581ec83b58329e09591e0c)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.irregardless.net%2Fpunster%2Fpuns-punspunspuns.jpg&hash=2494fab246d286bcd53fb7a2187eefd8)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fi_heart_puns_tshirt-p235116072170340465qw9u_400.jpg&hash=27a2da09b8581ec83b58329e09591e0c)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.irregardless.net%2Fpunster%2Fpuns-punspunspuns.jpg&hash=2494fab246d286bcd53fb7a2187eefd8)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fi_heart_puns_tshirt-p235116072170340465qw9u_400.jpg&hash=27a2da09b8581ec83b58329e09591e0c)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.irregardless.net%2Fpunster%2Fpuns-punspunspuns.jpg&hash=2494fab246d286bcd53fb7a2187eefd8)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fi_heart_puns_tshirt-p235116072170340465qw9u_400.jpg&hash=27a2da09b8581ec83b58329e09591e0c)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.irregardless.net%2Fpunster%2Fpuns-punspunspuns.jpg&hash=2494fab246d286bcd53fb7a2187eefd8)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fi_heart_puns_tshirt-p235116072170340465qw9u_400.jpg&hash=27a2da09b8581ec83b58329e09591e0c)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.irregardless.net%2Fpunster%2Fpuns-punspunspuns.jpg&hash=2494fab246d286bcd53fb7a2187eefd8)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fi_heart_puns_tshirt-p235116072170340465qw9u_400.jpg&hash=27a2da09b8581ec83b58329e09591e0c)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.irregardless.net%2Fpunster%2Fpuns-punspunspuns.jpg&hash=2494fab246d286bcd53fb7a2187eefd8)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fi_heart_puns_tshirt-p235116072170340465qw9u_400.jpg&hash=27a2da09b8581ec83b58329e09591e0c)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.irregardless.net%2Fpunster%2Fpuns-punspunspuns.jpg&hash=2494fab246d286bcd53fb7a2187eefd8)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fi_heart_puns_tshirt-p235116072170340465qw9u_400.jpg&hash=27a2da09b8581ec83b58329e09591e0c)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cartoonstock.com%2Flowres%2Fcza0340l.jpg&hash=769e786c81cfd80c2a704ac76f6f8128)
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So what does it take to refocus on puns?
Twiddling the knob usually sets the focus ok for me... [;)]
[:o] [:o] [:o]
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If we're still talking about a rack, is it true that it contains weapons of mass destruction??
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.newworldencyclopedia.org%2Fe%2Fee%2FIraq_map.png&hash=46ec87f252824822e11778dc631f92ad)
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So what does it take to refocus on puns?
Twiddling the knob usually sets the focus ok for me... [;)]
Isn't that a bit like what the Irish girl said to her sisters when the photographer kept asking them to get closer to the camera? OK - I remember now. What she said was,
"He's trying to focus."
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My rack is
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages5.cpcache.com%2Fproduct%2F252587425v4_480x480_Front_Color-Black.jpg&hash=a2299f5ddecca4e55a43d8aa1d6cc1fd)
( I actually have a T-shirt very similar to that) [:)]
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Variola, don't forget, this is a sharing thread. And that comes in handy. [:)]
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So what does it take to refocus on puns?
Twiddling the knob usually sets the focus ok for me... [;)]
Isn't that a bit like what the Irish girl said to her sisters when the photographer kept asking them to get closer to the camera? OK - I remember now. What she said was,
"He's trying to focus."
Brilliant, Geezer! You just came up with a motto for the Fellows Of This Thread, "Focus Or Leave Us!"
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Of course, let's not forget JimBob for firstly getting us back on rack with focus!
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Not to mention getting Pox in hand!!
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Pox-in-hand? Is that curable? Contagious?
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A pox in the hand is worth 2 in the bush.
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[:o] [:o] [:o]
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But Var, then you gave up the bird!
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A pox in the hand is worth 2 in the bush.
Whose bush? George WWWWWWWW?
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No. Since they are from Texas, she must be referring to JimBob's! [:o]
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A pox in the hand is worth 2 in the bush.
[:o] [:o] [:o]
But Var, then you gave up the bird!
See? Even (First) Lady Bird Johnson was from Texas! This PROVES that all fingers point to JimBob Bush.
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This is nerve wracking.
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No. Since they are from Texas, she must be referring to JimBob's! [:o]
And obviously Demo is wracking his brain (if that is what hydrocephalics have) to make that far of a stretch.
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Highly inaccurate. No stretch marks whatsoever.
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A pox in the hand is worth 2 in the bush.
[:o] [:o] [:o]
But Var, then you gave up the bird!
See? Even (First) Lady Bird Johnson was from Texas! This PROVES that all fingers point to JimBob Bush.
If Jimbob has a bush how can he be a man? And if he has got one I am not pointing my finger anywhere near it...!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)
(sorry about the shoes, Var, but I did order a new pair off-the-RACK)
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Highly inaccurate. No stretch marks whatsoever.
See? a wrinkle-less brain.
And Var, we need to be charitable to the retard.
OOOHH, I am sooo politically incorrect.
And I certainly have no bush or rack.
Unless the 12-point one on the dead deer on the wall counts.
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My rack is
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages5.cpcache.com%2Fproduct%2F252587425v4_480x480_Front_Color-Black.jpg&hash=a2299f5ddecca4e55a43d8aa1d6cc1fd)
( I actually have a T-shirt very similar to that) [:)]
Variola, if this is true, then you must conform to international rules and convention, which stipulate frequent examination and inspection.
But don't worry, you're in good hands! [:)]
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What does Allstate Insurance have to do with it??
For the non-American see http://www.allstate.com/ (Company Motto "You are in good hands with Allstate" - see logo)
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It's Variola's insurance policy against excessive hanky panky during required inspection. [:)]
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I am certain I replied to this post. Where has that reply gone?
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I didn't see it, JB.
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Could Geezer have made off with it for posting to a secret Scottish forum??? [:o] [:o] [:o]
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Speaking of "made off", have I got an investment for you! Yes! Guaranteed annual returns!
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Could Geezer have made off with it for posting to a secret Scottish forum??? [:o] [:o] [:o]
They are doing a play, which shall remain nameless.
Here Spot, good dogie - Now - Out, out, damned Spot!
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Highly inaccurate. No stretch marks whatsoever.
See? a wrinkle-less brain.
And Var, we need to be charitable to the retard.
OOOHH, I am sooo politically incorrect.
And I certainly have no bush or rack.
Unless the 12-point one on the dead deer on the wall counts.
Apparently the street use Remtard as it is a combination of retard and remedial. I guess trying to make you politically correct would be a backward move!!!
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Sheepy has a good rack. Rack of lamb gaaaaaa! droool!
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Mutton mess with Sheepy. Underneath the wool he carries an assault rifle.
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(Re-posted due to inordinate lack of creativity today!)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi287.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fll149%2Fimflitterhead%2FAsaultwithweapon.jpg&hash=e781102e44f72ac2dae9da80f2eca3fb)
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Sheepy has a good rack. Rack of lamb gaaaaaa! droool!
We prefer yours.
.
.
.
.
.
.
[:o]
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(Originating drooling duly noted and reciprocated)
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I'm trying to reduce my waistline by dieting but sadly it is going from my boobs first!
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I'm trying to reduce my waistline by dieting but sadly it is going from my boobs first!
I will help you hold them up. JimBob's Hand Bra Service available at nominal costs. Write for details.
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I'm trying to reduce my waistline by dieting but sadly it is going from my boobs first!
I will help you hold them up. JimBob's Hand Bra Service available at nominal costs. Write for details.
Don't do it, Make it Lady, I heard complaints from all over that the service just doesn't hold up under pressure!!
Even more laid back than California businesses!
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I'm trying to reduce my waistline by dieting but sadly it is going from my boobs first!
I wish it would go from mine!!!!! My waistline doesn't appear to be reducing either. Feck knows where it is going from, maybe it is because I shaved my armpits rather than plaiting the hair!
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My Mrs said she would help me loose weight. So far I’ve put on 7lbs and she’s lost 12lbs. A net loss of 5lbs, I thought that was a good result, she does not share my opinion and has made an appointment for me with a French surgeon. Apparently from a long line of practioners in her family, she will help me loose 10lbs of ugly fat in one session.
Sounds like a real ‘chip off the old block’ this Madame Le Guillotine.
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My Mrs said she would help me loose weight. So far I’ve put on 7lbs and she’s lost 12lbs. A net loss of 5lbs, I thought that was a good result, she does not share my opinion and has made an appointment for me with a French surgeon. Apparently from a long line of practioners in her family, she will help me loose 10lbs of ugly fat in one session.
Sounds like a real ‘chip off the old block’ this Madame Le Guillotine.
Perhaps Don, it is more like a cut of the old ham. (Or mutton??????????????????????? Neil)
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I'm trying to reduce my waistline by dieting but sadly it is going from my boobs first!
I will help you hold them up. JimBob's Hand Bra Service available at nominal costs. Write for details.
Be warned. JimBob's service requires that he weighs them first.
Wwaaahhhhhaaaaaayyyy!
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That is fine, I am adept at heavy lifting.
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I'm trying to reduce my waistline by dieting but sadly it is going from my boobs first!
I wish it would go from mine!!!!!
Noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cartoonstock.com%2Flowres%2Fvsh0119l.jpg&hash=6827330b8b23331b22f8e564473b2101)
Be warned. JimBob's service requires that he weighs them first.
Wwaaahhhhhaaaaaayyyy!
This brings up a serious question regarding measurement accuracy!
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If she turns round does she get a bit behind with the orders?
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I hear Jimbob has a "Bit Behind" service as well as "Hand Bra." I have also heard that he offers both services at once for a discount. (When I first typed this I left the O out of Discount....OOOPs)
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MiL, yes! His firm has all angles covered!
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If she turns round does she get a bit behind with the orders?
No. Only with the odors.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cartoonstock.com%2Flowres%2Fvsh0119l.jpg&hash=6827330b8b23331b22f8e564473b2101)
Be warned. JimBob's service requires that he weighs them first.
Wwaaahhhhhaaaaaayyyy!
This brings up a serious question regarding measurement accuracy!
I notice that Don and Bored Chemist have yet to weigh in on the matter.
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BEST WISHES TO JIMBOB FOR A SPEEDY-AS-POSSIBLE RECOVERY!
(See new "JimBob" thread)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bandofcats.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2007%2F12%2Fpictures-of-cats_dax-big-yawn_03.jpg&hash=bf1b4f2c893bc85294d9ab80f0380350)
Is it true women like men who yawn?
No actually. Sighs don’t matter.
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Well, as Yogi Berra says,
"There's nothing wrong with a bit of incest, as long as you keep it in the family."
Geezer, the lady bug mated with her ant. It was an insectuous relationship. Is that what you mean?
JimBob: Would you sleep with one of your relatives?
Geezer: Only if I had a nap kin.
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A guy is sitting in a pub, staring morosely at the full glass in front of him. His contemplation is rudely interrupted by the arrival at his stool of a garrulous drunk, who proceeds to berate him, before downing his drink and staggering off.
The barkeep comes over, to find the man weeping softly. He says to the guy to cheer up, he will give him a free drink.
The guy looks at the barkeep, and says: " Today I got fired from my job for 15 years. I came home early, to find my wife in bed with the garbage man. She told me to get out, and that she was divorcing me, and our 2 children were the garbage mans. I walked out, to find the repo man there, telling me that the bank was taking the house, the car and freezing my accounts. I had a few bucks in my pocket, and went to the bar, where I am now. I wanted to end it all, but am such a failure, I even had some guy drink the poison I was trying to get the courage to drink."
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Sean, here's the guy.......
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fboozenews.ca%2Fnucleus%2Fmedia%2F1%2F20060811-BarDrunkFallDown.jpg&hash=5dd1213b002179b3a7f1ac0d18090e24)
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Ah, the heady days of our youth, where we had a seemingly unquenchable thirst for alcoholic beverages, a bladder with limitless capacity and an unerring ability to find a source of free booze.............
DARN IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!
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I know, Sean, I too, long for the GOOD OLD DAYS of health, happiness and boundless joy!!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwintersoldier1.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F08%2Fhangover1.jpg&hash=e83fdc7d37b4f50f33bd58659d5cd941)
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The best part of it all was trying next to clean the bathroom while contending with the hangover resulting from the previous night's revelry and worship of the Great Porcelain God we worshiped just hours before.
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I was never that bad! Though I did have a bit of trouble with Mulled wine, it kept on exploding.
We solved that one, by the application of some fine engineering - we wired the bottle tops on, like the French use for the sparkling wines. Result was batch 2 had a much reduced probability of popping it's top, though a few of the plastic 2l bottles did detonate, though luckily not when we were around. Was not at all bad, though I did prefer ciders, Woodpecker being the best, not the modern sweet ones. I think I drank a case one night......... The off sales loved us though.
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Mead!
Nuff said.
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I had to look that up.
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Oh the shame of it all. The lack of a decent education in the US again shows through.
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There is education in the USA???????
I thought that it all consisted of blonde bimbo's worrying over the state of hair, and jocks with the same preoccupation. Add in a few capable of walking and chewing gum, and there you had it.
At least here the teachers are on strike, the pupils are on holiday, the few who want to study are doing so, and the department of education has still not sent out the curriculum for this year - they are looking for a cleft stick of correct dimensions, as well as the right kind of post stone.
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He said I was average - but he was just being mean.
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The local landowner, Edmondo Finknottle Snodgass Marjoribanks (pronounced Chumley), or "Stinky" to his pals, and his gamekeeper were out hiking around their extensive policies, which were so vast that they had to use a map. It was getting a bit late, and the landowner decided they better head back to the manor house for some crumpet. The game keeper consulted the map and pointed out two ways they could take.
The landowner looked at the two paths and said "I think we better take the second one. We really don't want to find ourselves caught on the first."
To which the gamekeeper said,
"What does that route mean Squire Ed?"
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To which the gamekeeper said,
"What does that route mean Squire Ed?"
Squire Ed replied to the gamekeeper (whose friends call him "RMS") that the magnitude of the first route means it might take forever to get back to the manor in time for crumpet.
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Johnny's mother was admonishing him, yet again, for bolting his food.
"Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you. Do not swallow your meat until it's been amply chewed!"
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Johnny's problem is not only with his food being amply chewed, but the frequency with which this happens!
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If he keeps it up, he's going to get smacked where it really hertz.
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Johnny's mom is called Maude, so he's going to get maudulated.
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Johnny is certainly a generator of all sorts of trouble!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.neatoshop.com%2Fimages%2Fproduct%2F59%2F459%2FMath-Puns-are-the-First-Sine-of-Madness_1869-l.jpg&hash=da30fdb88c3bb20a4702256847dc5602)
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My pub has one of these hanging above the door.
[diagram=601_0]
It's a bar sign.
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As due diligence, I followed up and checked on your bar sign, Geezer, and I only saw one over the men's room urinal:
We Aim To Please
You Aim Too, Please
So now I will check out The Pistol Dawn Bar
(Drink till 3, pistol dawn)
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My greatest sphere is that the Earth is round.
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Hyspherical!
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Now is not the time for hyspheria.
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Great! So now you've gone all botanical on us.
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That's funny, Geezer, sometimes you flora me! [;D]
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Oh! Very fauny.
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How did the botanist, after dealing with fertilizer, clean her hands?
She had a manure-cure
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Now you've gong and dung it.
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OK, but don't get pissed over it.
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That's funny, Geezer, sometimes you flora me! [;D]
Oh! Very fauny.
[;D]
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There is education in the USA???????
Yes, of course, Sean. For example, we wear glasses while learning math because it improves division.
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There is education in the USA???????
Yes, of course, Sean. For example, we wear glasses while learning math because it improves divison.
..but, evidently, not dispelling. [;D]
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I find mult liquor is a factor in my mathematical product-ivity.
After a mult everything is more pliable !
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There is education in the USA???????
Yes, of course, Sean. For example, we wear glasses while learning math because it improves division (mod edit - corrected sp).
..but, evidently, not dispelling. [;D]
Witch?
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I find mult liquor is a factor in my mathematical product-ivity.
After a mult everything is more pliable !
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftherattrick.com%2Ffiles%2F2009%2F08%2Fglass-of-beer1.jpg&hash=e898464a68d575916d587980d57a888a)
...and after a few.......even mistakes mult i ply!
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There is education in the USA???????
Yes, of course, Sean. For example, we wear glasses while learning math because it improves division (mod edit - corrected sp).
..but, evidently, not dispelling. [;D]
Witch?
Actually, I'm more of a whizzard.
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There is education in the USA???????
Yes, of course, Sean. For example, we wear glasses while learning math because it improves divison.
..but, evidently, not dispelling. [;D]
Dispelling of miths is important to me.
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There is education in the USA???????
Yes, of course, Sean. For example, we wear glasses while learning math because it improves division (mod edit - corrected sp).
..but, evidently, not dispelling. [;D]
Witch?
Actually, I'm more of a whizzard.
Of Ozz, apparentlee.
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Witches? Wizards? Its all a load of Warlocks.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fwicked_witches_brothel_dog_shirt-p15538065733959940722hfo_400.jpg&hash=604055a4ed951fb35f796c103f2004b0)
Don, let's thank Geezer for getting us these souvenir tee-shirts from his last vacation!
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The tee shirts were OK, but obviously the 'Ladies' were a ruff load of old dogs!
That Geezer must be barking!
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Yes, and up the wrong tree!
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The tee shirts were OK, but obviously the 'Ladies' were a ruff load of old dogs!
That Geezer must be barking!
No, but close - the Isle of Dogs.
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Can ine give Sir a little pleasure?
[ Invalid Attachment ]
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What's wrong Geezer? Have you had to paws for thought?
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Don, I think he's just catching his breath, he's had breeding problems.
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Doggone it, now I can't find my glasses....
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I'm still waiting for Don to explain, though I say it myself, my quite brilliant allusion to barking.
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Can ine give Sir a little pleasure?
[ Invalid Attachment ]
Geezer, you lucky dog, you! <wink>
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I'm still waiting for Don to explain, though I say it myself, my quite brilliant allusion to barking.
That's a tale I'd rather forget.
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I'm lost. Has this place gone to the dogs?
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Did you hear about the insomniac who is also dyslexic and agnostic?
Stays up all night wondering whether there really is a Dog.
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I'm still waiting for Don to explain, though I say it myself, my quite brilliant allusion to barking.
mod edit:
That's a tale tail I'd rather forget.
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Hey! I just watched that new movie Abattoir. It's in 3-D too!
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Stumped, Geezer...
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Stumped, Geezer...
More likely stunned I'd think. This thread is turning into a proper shambles.
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or maybe people are just too knackered to post.
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Hey! I just watched that new movie Abattoir. It's in 3-D too!
Geezer, what I meant was that I was stumped by your punning meaning directly above - ("Abattoir and 3-D").
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Hey! I just watched that new movie Abattoir. It's in 3-D too!
Geezer, what I meant was that I was stumped by your punning meaning directly above - ("Abattoir and 3-D").
A clue http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0499549/ [;D]
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That was a clue?
You need to be a detective to work out that clue so
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Haha!! [;D]
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That was a clue?
You need to be a detective to work out that clue so
Zat is vi a am at La Sûreté, Monsieur.
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?
-
?
Oh! Don't go looking for the pun. I don't think there is one.
-
?
Oh! Don't go looking for the pun. I don't think there is one.
Ahem, Inspector Clouseau, I am certain that we will find one. We only need to do some careful detective work!!
-
?
Yep, I found a pun for this:-
!
How does that grab you?
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?
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.star-astronomy.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2Fstar-astronomy.jpg&hash=8228a9c6f9e07e6fe868d2a7fe822155)
In my college years I thought about studying astronomy, but I knew I would just be taking up space.
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Not to worry, I suppose you didn't plan et.
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No, it was a completely different world to me.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.yogamax.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2008%2F12%2Fswami-ramdev.jpg&hash=01ca4dca1797ef44ceccf205f6f44618)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcolinwetherbee.com%2Fimages%2Fhot-dog-vendor.jpg&hash=01f244940f1cebdaccdb884d91dbea42)
The Swami goes up to the hot dog vendor and says:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(ready?)
.
.
.
"Make me one with everything".
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I have seen the light.
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I have seen the light.
The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.yogamax.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2008%2F12%2Fswami-ramdev.jpg&hash=01ca4dca1797ef44ceccf205f6f44618)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcolinwetherbee.com%2Fimages%2Fhot-dog-vendor.jpg&hash=01f244940f1cebdaccdb884d91dbea42)
The Swami goes up to the hot dog vendor and says:
"Make me one with everything".
So the Swami gives the vendor a $20 bill, and after a while says, "Where's my change?"
The hot dog vendor pauses to think, then says, "Change comes from within"...as the Swami wistfully walks away.
-
Swami how I love ya, how I love ya
My dear old Swami
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Al, you're baaaaack!! You and I both said, "California Here I Come!"
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she is at home sucking a minstrel (UK. Chocolate sweets)
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Mammy? Indeed, how sweet it is!
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Scientists allow us to see the sun in a different light.
-
That last pun doesn't regard the sun as a burning issue so should be receive with a black hole of mirth.
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Make it Lady, I'm still waiting for you to finish my paint job. All talk. [;D]
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Did you know that Geezer once got fired from his job as a software engineer? He just couldn't get with the program.
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Make it Lady, I'm still waiting for you to finish my paint job. All talk. [;D]
I thought she was polishing (door)knobs for you.
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Make it Lady, I'm still waiting for you to finish my paint job. All talk. [;D]
I thought she was polishing (door)knobs for you.
Dang, JimBob, thank you for keeping me up-to-date!! What would we do without your terrific geological approach here???
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.phg-uk.com%2Fadmin1%2Fimage%2F0038bloxwich%2520knob%2520set.JPG&hash=c66663ceff574d08c8268347b98e8dc2)
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An angry bird landed on a door knob. Then flew off the handle.
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It must have been very startling for him.
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OK, Don, ready for a real groaner?
.
.
.
.
.
After being treated by an optometrist, the bird seed.
-
A,B,C,D goldfish?
M,N,O goldfish
S,D,R goldfish
R,D,L goldfish
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F U N E M N X?
S, V F M N X.
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...but we have no bananas today.
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...I'm so lost....sigh.....
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It's like text speak but came before texts were invented. apparently love letters in the 19th century used this type of notation. demo just read the letters really quickly and they sound like words.
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It's like text speak but came before texts were invented. apparently love letters in the 19th century used this type of notation. demo just read the letters really quickly and they sound like words.
Whale oil be damned!
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we have no bananas today.
V F N O bananas today
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UB40
I wish I was, but I B alot older than that.
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I M SX E
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It's like text speak but came before texts were invented. apparently love letters in the 19th century used this type of notation. demo just read the letters really quickly and they sound like words.
Thanks much!
See? You were wrong: there _is_ womankind [;)]
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Well oil be damned!
Isn't that what Tony Hayward (http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/tony-hayward) said?
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Well oil be damned!
Isn't that what Tony Hayward (http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/tony-hayward) said?
LOL!!!
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Oil executives are always using crude language.
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le Bastille is amazing of is that just a phalisy
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One phalisy here is Make it Lady's blow torch. Hard to fathom.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.howstuffworks.com%2Fgif%2Fghost-stories-hotel3.jpg&hash=ce59442a3e73e74c19a713d76869055d)
Halloween is coming soon...
An elevator makes ghosts happy because it lifts the spirits.
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One phalisy here is Make it Lady's blow torch. Hard to fathom.
oi flower stop casting nasturtiums on my character.
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Make it Lady, I apologize for the flower derangement. So let's kiss and make up: tulips are better than one.
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I knew it was just be a matter of time until we bring again two lips from hamster jam.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)
Funny then. Funny now.
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I knew it was just be a matter of time until we bring again two lips from hamster jam.
AGHHhhh! You rotter, damn you for preserving that one.
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Forbidden fruit causes many jams.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.punarama.co.uk%2Fimages%2Fpuns%2Fhamster-dam.jpg&hash=3d7041c50938e28b321cc224c0aaf17e)
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Sammy met a tram and the tram met Sammy.
The tram was jammy.
The jam was Sammy.
Oh, what a mess!
(No pun intended, or even present, but I thought it was relevant. BTW, for Demo's benefit, a "tram" is a streetcar.)
(There are similar tales concerning Algie and Bessie)
-
Here is a reverse pun that is related in a certain way to the prior post. What's the connection, and what was the original line?
"We're sliding a gong on the breast of a slave."
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Here is a reverse pun that is related in a certain way to the prior post. What's the connection, and what was the original line?
"We're sliding a gong on the breast of a slave."
I think this is the pun ch line to a joke.
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The galley slaves were taking a rest after a full day rowing under merciless sun with the sound of the slave driver's gong still ringing in their ears.
"It's not the captain's waterskiing that bothers me so much" said one slave to his shipmate. "It's that gong, gong, gong every two seconds. I'm going to get rid of it"
The slaves decide that under cover of darkness, they would lift the gong from its chains and throw it overboard.
"We can't do it like that" suggested one of the plotters "They would be sure to hear us - we'll have to find a way to slip it quietly into the water".
So that night, six of the slaves lifted the heavy gong and carried it carefully to the stern of the galley - but there was no way to slip the gong into the water without banging it noisily on the boat.
"I have it! - I'll slip under the rail and hold on with my back to the stern, then I will act as a slide for you to ease the gong over my body and quietly into the water", said the brightest of the slaves.
This was working perfectly, when suddenly the slave driver appeared behind the plotters. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he shouted. To a man, the men sprang to attention, and burst into song ...
One, two, three -
"We're sliding a gong on the chest of a slave ...."
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(https://www.funnytimes.com/archives/files/art/20020515.jpg)
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There is a musical connection
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daw-gone-it, I wish I had a gong joke.
Or is this the Gong Show??
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Ha!! You just gave away your AGE, JimBob!
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Ha!! You just gave away your AGE, JimBob!
And since you got the reference, SO DID YOU! [;D]
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Teddie bares - Love them!
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Ha!! You just gave away your AGE, JimBob!
And since you got the reference, SO DID YOU! [;D]
Hmm....yes...true...but....but....I had to....er....LOOK IT UP! YES! THAT'S WHAT I HAD TO DO!! HONEST!!!!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.tvtropes.org%2Fpmwiki%2Fpub%2Fimages%2F14_myths_legends_myths_legends_chuck_barris_gong_show.jpg&hash=307e72092e6239f5df8a1e2afe6611e1)
1976
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Teddie bares - Love them!
At one time, we had our beary own Teddie as a President.
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I think Iowa 'bout five dollars in sales Texas.
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Oh dear, we're not going to go through the song are we???
What did Delaware boy what did Delaware? She wore a brand New Jersey.
What did Missisip blah blah She sipped a Mini soda.
Where has Oregon - gone to pay her taxes (Texas)
Perry Como (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NztfOSyCCFM)
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I think I am going to have a Jersey (a cow) if this goes on and on.
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"Stand on thisy here rock 'n you can see it son".
"No need Pa, Arkansas it from here".
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I think I am going to have a Jersey (a cow) if this goes on and on.
I'm not sure the stress would be good for you JB. I think we should see what your nurse thinks. Alaska and let you know.
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True, if I had a cow there would be placenta to think and talk about.
-
I think I am going to have a Jersey (a cow) if this goes on and on.
JimBob is right! Let's broaden our horizons and go....International!
So here's one that will make everyone gag proud!
When you're Hungary, you're nothing Budapest.
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OK - you asked for it -
Q: How much is a Grecian urn?
A: About two drachmas an hour.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)
That's almost as funny as "Greeks can't stay out late because they have a Corfu."
-
Man walks in to wine store and ask's
"Can you recommend a good port?"
Sales assistant says
"Yes, Southampton".
-
A man is walking along the road with a banana stuck in his ear. Another gent approaches him and asks,
"Hey, do you know you've got a banana in your ear?"
to which the man replies
"I can't hear you. I've got a banana in my ear."
-------------------------------------------------------------
A man is walking along the road with a lemon stuck in his ear. Another gent approaches him and asks,
"Hey, do you know you've got a lemon in your ear?"
to which the man replies
"You've heard of a hearing aid? This is a lemon aid."
-
Unfortunately, no one won the lemon eating contest. They all went home with a sour-taste in their mouth.
-
Man walks in to wine store and ask's
"Can you recommend a good port?"
Sales assistant says
"Yes, Southampton".
Funny : - )
The wine store manager locks up his best wine in a cabernet.
-
A man is walking along the road with a banana stuck in his ear. Another gent approaches him and asks,
"Hey, do you know you've got a banana in your ear?"
to which the man replies
"I can't hear you. I've got a banana in my ear."
-------------------------------------------------------------
A man is walking along the road with a lemon stuck in his ear. Another gent approaches him and asks,
"Hey, do you know you've got a lemon in your ear?"
to which the man replies
"You've heard of a hearing aid? This is a lemon aid."
Another man had a sponge, jelly and fruit in his ear, he was a trifle deaf.
-
A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.
The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."
-
(There are similar tales concerning Algie and Bessie)
Let's hear 'em!
-
I mean, let's ear 'em.
-
(There are similar tales concerning Algie and Bessie)
Let's hear 'em!
Ah, well see, Bessie met a bus. Algie, on the other hand, met a bear. You might try to finish 'em.
-
Bessie met the bus and the bus met Bessie
The bus was messy and the mess was Bessie
Algy met a bear,
A bear met Algy,
The bear was bulgy,
The bulge was Algy.
-
You got it! The bulgy one is slightly trickier.
There may have been others, but I can't remember. Oh! Wait, there was Mickey too. I think he met a train.
-
Stumped by Mickey.
But it didn't ruin my train of thought.
-
Wasn't your train of thought a bit sticky?
-
Wasn't your train of thought a bit sticky?
Depends on what substance has cause Demo to become sticky. Is it Jam? Is it ham? Is it Lemon Curd or is it a brown ****?
I could go on but it would just get more nasty. I'll quit here.
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Jam?
Ham?
Green eggs and ham?
I do not like them, Sam-I-Am!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.emerchandise.com%2Fimages%2Fp%2FDRS%2FpdBXDRS0009.jpg&hash=5541d03c5cf05116349f7596ef80cc2c)
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Wasn't your train of thought a bit sticky?
Depends on what substance has cause Demo to become sticky. Is it Jam? Is it ham? Is it Lemon Curd or is it a brown ****?
I could go on but it would just get more nasty. I'll quit here.
A sticky situation, indeed!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cartoonstock.com%2Flowres%2Fmly0212l.jpg&hash=8ea7ec0b11f1cb103a7ced64522ae974)
The science teachers broke up because there was no chemistry between them.
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A man was walking along the road with a kipper stuck in his ear.
This other guy comes up to him and says,
"Do you know you've got a kipper in your ear?"
To which the man replies,
"I'm sorry, but you'll have to speak up. I'm a bit hard of herring."
-
A man was walking along the road with a tooth stuck in his ear, no, really....
"In an unusual case, a 47-year old former miner in Britain was finally able get rid of his earache after doctors removed a tooth that had got stuck in his ear"
http://medindia.net/news/Doctors-Remove-Tooth-from-Ear-75535-1.htm
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A man was walking along the road with a tooth stuck in his ear, no, really....
"In an unusual case, a 47-year old former miner in Britain was finally able get rid of his earache after doctors removed a tooth that had got stuck in his ear"
http://medindia.net/news/Doctors-Remove-Tooth-from-Ear-75535-1.htm
[ Invalid Attachment ]
http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/205967/Man-loses-tooth-from-ear
Tooth-fairy related incident ?, (tooth placed under pillow ends up in lughole ?).
-
Wonder if the tooth fairy will pay interest on the payment, as after all the tooth has been in "storage" for over 40 years.......
-
Two old geezers in adjacent beds in a hospital in Brighton, UK.
Geezer1: "Did you come 'ere to die?"
Geezer2: "No mate. I come 'ere yesterdie."
-
A man was walking along the road with a tooth stuck in his ear, no, really....
"In an unusual case, a 47-year old former miner in Britain was finally able get rid of his earache after doctors removed a tooth that had got stuck in his ear"
http://medindia.net/news/Doctors-Remove-Tooth-from-Ear-75535-1.htm
Fess up, Geezer, are you really telling the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?
-
Wonder if the tooth fairy will pay interest on the payment, as after all the tooth has been in "storage" for over 40 years.......
Interesting, Sean.
-
A man was walking along the road with a kipper stuck in his ear.
This other guy comes up to him and says,
"Do you know you've got a kipper in your ear?"
To which the man replies,
"I'm sorry, but you'll have to speak up. I'm a bit hard of herring."
They were going to cancel the fishing season due to red tape, but it turned out to be a red herring.
-
Two old geezers in adjacent beds in a hospital in Brighton, UK.
Geezer1: "Did you come 'ere to die?"
Geezer2: "No mate. I come 'ere yesterdie."
Hey, I thought there was one and only one, i.e., our one and only.......GEEZER!!!!
-
I think you are getting us muddled up with Australians, and that would never do cobber
-
What do shoes have to do with this?
-
Mil, I think that's cobblers.
Next thing you'll be trying to tell us that Cholmondeley is pronounced Chumly.
-
A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back. 'The doctor said, 'It's old age.' The woman said, 'I want a second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK. you're ugly as well.'
-
Mil, I think that's cobblers.
Next thing you'll be trying to tell us that Cholmondeley is pronounced Chumly.
Urban Dictionary: cobber
Australian colloquialism meaning "mate" or "friend", but not necessarily in the literal term.
Oh, and Geezer? I researched it and Cholmondeley is most assuredly pronounced Chumly.
-
Some bloke takes his kids to the zoo. When they get inside there's just one cage with a small scruffy dog sitting inside it. He storms to the office to complain.
"You call this a zoo?! It's just one dog sitting in a cage!" he rants.
The ticket seller calmly replies:
"I know, Sir. It's a shitzu"
-
Some bloke takes his kids to the zoo. When they get inside there's just one cage with a small scruffy dog sitting inside it. He storms to the office to complain.
"You call this a zoo?! It's just one dog sitting in a cage!" he rants.
The ticket seller calmly replies:
"I know, Sir. It's a shitzu"
Sounds like a Chapman original. You might also consider posting it in the "Is this the worst joke ever?" thread.
-
Geezer, I Shih Tzu not, a dyslexic man walked into a bra...
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tomjonesbiography.com%2Flib%2Fcover.gif&hash=0d7e00f5eb8b3783fb284891a18ec5c3)
'Doc, I can't stop singing the Green Green Grass Of Home.
'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'.
'Is it common?'
'It's not unusual.'
-
'Doc, I can't stop singing the Green Green Grass Of Home.
'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'.
'Is it common?'
'It's not unusual.'
AGHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
That's so old, its very nearly a fossil.
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No it's not. I just heard it! [;D]
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Not through the grapevine by any chance?
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)
That's so funny, Don, that it made me...just about to lose my mind!!
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I hope it didn't make you laugh so much that it brought you to tears, because, you know a man 'aint supposed to cry.
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No matter what you colic, a baby crying for hours is a pain!
-
Ah yes, colic, they suffer greatly from that in a Burpham, a village on the edge of Guilford, Surrey.
OK, OK, so its pronounced Burfam, not Burp-ham, but call it punetical license.
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Don't forget, punsters who want to go hunting have to get a punetical license.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fea7bcee7.jpg&hash=ea825a5988a1dcd21c3a890483ac7449)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fea7bcee7.jpg&hash=ea825a5988a1dcd21c3a890483ac7449)
Isn't that an oxymoron?
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No, it's a daffynition.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F_eIARuH0-x4Y%2FSDNJ31gA1LI%2FAAAAAAAAAD0%2FM0jmDwYpvw4%2Fs400%2Foxymoron.jpg&hash=16bc648bab2834c144dbcdf100e14b32)
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Remember that accursed woman who was always popping up on the adverts flogging gravy cubes, she must have been an Oxomoron.
-
Is a Spanish hoover El Ectrolux?
-
I think "si", but I'll tell ya, my new expensive vacuum cleaner really sucks.
-
When it comes to domestic appliances, I like playing with our oven, its a gas!
-
Many people think that Edgar Allan Poe was a raven madman.
personal/true aside: I grew up in the same house where Edgar Allan Poe wrote "The Raven". That should answer any of your lingering questions about me - demo [:)]
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F4c07ad9b.jpg&hash=f953dc4bd8c840278f003dac1b6ad216)
Photo I took this summer in front of my childhood home
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Which question(s)?
Are you a raven?
Are you a mad man?
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A Mad Man:
1) I was in advertising
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcache.gawker.com%2Fassets%2Fimages%2Fdefamer%2F2009%2F01%2Ffashion_MadMen102B_0411.jpg&hash=82fa69cbc5124d80e2bd3d2d178bed3d)
2) I hate the fact that my NSF posts disappear on first try when I use the "Quote" function!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcache.gawker.com%2Fassets%2Fimages%2Fdefamer%2F2009%2F01%2Ffashion_MadMen102B_0411.jpg&hash=82fa69cbc5124d80e2bd3d2d178bed3d)
My word! How you've changed. Sadly, not for the better.
-
There was a young lady on a bender,
Who sat down to play on her Fender.
The strings turned to keys,
Of ebony and ivories.
And when she stood up,
She'd changed her bloody gender.
-
Is someone trying to tell me that my hair is mussed??
Or is someone not familiar with Mad Men TV series? [:)]
-
There was a young lady on a bender,
Who sat down to play on her Fender.
The strings turned to keys,
Of ebony and ivories.
And when she stood up,
She'd changed her bloody gender.
If you break a string on your guitar don't Fret.
-
I might have guessed you'd pick up on that.
-
...
The strings turned to keys,
Of ebony and ivories...
Let me share with you a couple of keys to playing piano.
-
I might have guessed you'd pick up on that.
Perhaps you can amplify on that statement?
-
I might have guessed you'd pick up on that.
Perhaps you can amplify on that statement?
I would, but it's not terribly polite to give unsolicited feedback.
-
I might have guessed you'd pick up on that.
Perhaps you can amplify on that statement?
I would, but it's not terribly polite to give unsolicited feedback.
I echo your sentiments.
-
I might have guessed you'd pick up on that.
Perhaps you can amplify on that statement?
I would, but it's not terribly polite to give unsolicited feedback.
I echo your sentiments.
The echo from the sediments is best in a canyon.
-
Well I know that's what he said he meant.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F_R3xKYz0g2Zg%2FTDiYt3eYdqI%2FAAAAAAAAAq0%2Fi-MnNDgwrfQ%2Fs1600%2Faward.jpg&hash=5dd327936cb2c7405b5471528415a7c9)
Finally! A true deserving recipient of The Punning Thread Groanloudly Award!!
Congrats, Don!!!!
<wild applause from millions of our readers>
[;D]
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Gimme a frikkin break!
How could he possibly fail with a setup like that?
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fbowing%2F1.gif&hash=4d47e94680c56e8fc3988df7660bfe76) Thank you fans, thank you.
Unaccustomed as I am to making speeches....... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fhitting%2F9.gif&hash=7a65869a7e8b6e5a1ac4ba8fdf355754) booo hisssss, get off (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fsad%2F4.gif&hash=ee90d6b188155fe605337a707d9854cb)
You're only jealous, 'cause you didn't get in before me. That'll teach you to be more punctual.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F_R3xKYz0g2Zg%2FTDiYt3eYdqI%2FAAAAAAAAAq0%2Fi-MnNDgwrfQ%2Fs1600%2Faward.jpg&hash=5dd327936cb2c7405b5471528415a7c9)
Finally! A true deserving recipient of The Punning Thread Groanloudly SETUP Award!!
Congrats, Geezer!!!!
<wild applause from millions of our readers>
[;D]
The Groanloudly Award Committee prides itself on unique Awards for unique accomplishment. An Equal Opportunity Scam For All!
-
I have taken it a pun myself to find a good pun!
-
Give me a comma.
Give me a semicolon
Give me a full stop (period)
Give me an exclamation mark
Give me an apsotrophe.
Oooo, I do like a nice bit of punctuation.
-
I don't think I can take much more of this punishment.
-
Just like an old boxer, it can make you punchy.
-
The boxer may be old, Don, but his girlfriend is a knockout.
-
I don't think I can take much more of this punishment.
That reminds me of the soup that was so bad it was gruel and unusual punishment.
-
I'm embarrassed, but feel obliged to admit: I accidentally deleted this whole thread today. [:(]
But Geezer came along to save the day and restored it.
Thanks, Geezer!
-
Just like an old boxer, it can make you punchy.
After punching his computer and breaking his hand, the guy required tech knuckle support.
-
I'm embarrassed, but feel obliged to admit: I accidentally deleted this whole thread today. [:(]
But Geezer came along to save the day and restored it.
Thanks, Geezer!
Phuuuuuuweeee, well done Geezer, did you give it an injection to save it from disappearing down the Black Hole of Calcutta?
Could be said to be a Punjab
-
I'm embarrassed, but feel obliged to admit: I accidentally deleted this whole thread today. [:(]
But Geezer came along to save the day and restored it.
Thanks, Geezer!
Phuuuuuuweeee, well done Geezer, did you give it an injection to save it from disappearing down the Black Hole of Calcutta?
Could be said to be a Punjab
Well, we didn't want to upset the punters.
-
I'm embarrassed, but feel obliged to admit: I accidentally deleted this whole thread today. [:(]
But Geezer came along to save the day and restored it.
Thanks, Geezer!
Don't you guys realize that every time you re-quote me it becomes more and more an embarrassment of kitsches?
-
I'm embarrassed, but feel obliged to admit: I accidentally deleted this whole thread today. [:(]
But Geezer came along to save the day and restored it.
Thanks, Geezer!
Don't you guys realize that every time you re-quote me it becomes more and more an embarrassment of kitsches?
I wouldn't worry about it too much. I think all our groupies buggered off long ago, unless you include JimBob of course.
-
I don't think JimBob's feeling too hot these days : - (
-
Besides, what about our 10 million readers?
-
Immobility gets you nowhere. [;D]
-
What did the nice girl say when her date invited her home to see his stamp collection? 'Philately will get you nowhere'.
-
RIGHT!!!!
THATS'S IT......
I'm not going to be licked by that last post (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4NtSqZcT_4).
Rather fitting for today.
Going off for the minute.
-
The Queen lay in her bed one night and turned on her side. She pulled the duvet right up so that only her head could be seen and said, "Look Philip, I'm a stamp."
-
In The Naked Scientists' forum
I tried to be punny for 'em
But limericks reign
In my little brain
So can we make a limmerick quorum?
-
Donnah, you're a poet!
But do you know et?
-
The Queen lay in her bed one night and turned on her side. She pulled the duvet right up so that only her head could be seen and said, "Look Philip, I'm a stamp."
But I thought Philip was at a listed forum that night?
-
Yes, but it was a live forum. He was drinking and got obnoxious when a lady wanted to leave and he wouldn't letter. He's not much of a fighter though, so he got licked when someone pasted him.
Maybe he should have had some of that tech knuckle support you talked about, demografx.
-
Wow, Donnah, I am mightily impressed with your punifical talents! You're teaching me that a pun is its own reword!
-
It's so much pun playing with words and you always get to be write!
-
Yes, but if you write bad things about me I am libel to sue you.
-
In The Naked Scientists' forum
I tried to be punny for 'em
But limericks reign
In my little brain
So can we make a limmerick quorum?
We could, but I can only ever remember the first line. For example there was;
A gal from Devizes
A policeman from Clapham Junction
A bishop from Birmingham
Unfortunately (er, well, maybe fortunately) that's all I'm able to remember.
-
There was a young man from Nepal,
Who had one short and long ...........
Oh yes! I see what you mean Geezer!
The language can get a bit fruity, perhaps that's why its called a limerick.
-
Fruity "one short and long" limerick? Is that like an apple or pear? Or is it that we don't bwannana know?...
-
Go with the flow of the current; amp
times voltage that pressures the send
to get watt is right the lamp to light,
thanks, my solar panel of friends.
-
I'm very switched on to eletricity.
-
At least try to lighten up.
(I wonder if that's what they said to Guy Fawkes?)
-
This electric banter gets my juices flowing.
-
This electric banter gets my juices flowing.
WATT???
-
This electric banter gets my juices flowing.
WATT???
Yes, of course! It's...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.watt-works.com%2Fwp-content%2Fthemes%2Fwattworks%2Fimages%2Fwatt-works-logo-large.png&hash=8a7602844f61810c7bb88834856dc310)
-
Is Watt Works a company name and logo? From every psychological angle I can think of that name is...brilliant!!!
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)
I can't believe I almost fell for that and started researching the logo. Brilliant indeed!!!
Your puns are illuminating.
-
And yours are powerfully enlightening! [;D]
I am serious about the logo too. I did an online search and found wattworks.com in Ohio with some brilliant products. Check out their magnetic fireplace and window covers. I love their hybrid tricycle too.
-
So I'm not that dumb after all! (ok guys, no commentary! [;D])
-
My brother just emailed me the following:
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.
2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?
They Take The Psychopath
4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It
5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!
6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids
7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick
8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.
9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quatro Cinco.
11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.
12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.
13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.
14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.
15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.
16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.
17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover ?!
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.
20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckles On Their Hats.
21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack. "Dang! "
A Bad Skydiver Goes, " Dang!" Whack.
22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer.
23. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
-
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.
Amazing! This is my favorite corny joke of all time. Heard it on the radio in '76!
-
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?
They Take The Psychopath
True. But I'll bet it's not the psychopath of least resistance.
-
I...found wattworks.com...
The logo actually comes from watt-works.com
-
You'd best go lie down for while Donnah.
After all that punning you'll be sleepun soon.
You really should should have held some in reserve, using so much of your repertoire in one go was a pundamental mistake.
-
True, Don, but now we're all enriched with a repertoire that's far from puny!
-
Aw shucks, no point in holding back, we have a forum of endless punch lines.
-
It's OK as long as it doesn't result in another Punic War.
-
Punic War? Why, we shouldn't rome that far from our main purpose.
-
Indeed so, we should cease 'er and put an end to the war by the time Santa Claus de us the honor of a visit.
-
Ho ho ho!
-
[;D]
-
A gal from Devizes
edit -
There was an old girl of Devizes,
Whose forte was in little surprises;
She let you come near,
Then cried: 'Bless us, my dear,
Your eyes are of different sizes.
A policeman from Clapham Junction
edit -
Censored by the Punjab Governor
A bishop from Birmingham
edit -
Censored by the Punjab Governor
-
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
Coffee has bean the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.
-
Well it is a stirring subject.
-
A gal from Devizes
edit -
There was an old girl of Devizes,
Whose forte was in little surprises;
She let you come near,
Then cried: 'Bless us, my dear,
Your eyes are of different sizes.
A policeman from Clapham Junction
edit -
Censored by the Punjab Governor
A bishop from Birmingham
edit -
Censored by the Punjab Governor
I am only able to advise that the organ of the policeman in question had long ceased to function.
-
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
Coffee has bean the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.
Well it is a stirring subject.
Because of the spooning?
-
I am only able to advise that the organ of the policeman in question had long ceased to function.
Long? Certainly you must be aware that size is not important.
-
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
Coffee has bean the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.
Well it is a stirring subject.
Because of the spooning?
No, it's because it percolates in my brain, whether I want it to or not.
-
In that case, it must be instant.
-
At least try to lighten up.
(I wonder if that's what they said to Guy Fawkes?)
He was so sensitive to criticism, he would've imploded.
-
Sometimes when you add coffee powder to nuked water it explodes like a volcano.
-
When I asked if I could get insurance if the nearby volcano erupted they assured me I would be covered.
-
Are you covered for seismic events by Quaker State Insurance?
-
Geezer, that's a catastrophic question.
-
My friend Dick has a thing about unwanted felines showing up in his garden and using it as a toilet. He even borrowed my BB gun once to try to scare them off.
Anyway, I was round at his place the other day, and among the mounted heads of deer, elk and moose hanging on his walls there was also a cat. The strange thing about it was that it was the rear end of the cat that was mounted instead of its head.
"What the heck is that?" I enquired.
"Oh," says Dick, "It's a cat's ass trophy."
-
Wow Geezer, did you have to hunt long to catch that story?
-
Donnah, don't expect a reply. Cat's got his tongue.
-
Also, he might not be feline well today.
-
If he is not feline well today does it mean he has had a bit too much hair of the dog?
-
Hair of the dog?? I hope you don't mean...<gasp>...this!
"It's a cat's ass...."
-
Dedicated to Don for his reply to my astronomy struggles:
Scientists wanting to send a rocket to Jupiter had to really planet.
-
I asked Demo to take a seat after I had sat Ern down.
"where shall I sit?" Demo asked, I replied, "On uranus".
Phew! I had to get the cobwebs off those two!
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.goodlightscraps.com%2Fcontent%2Fthanksgiving%2Fthanksgiving-1.jpg&hash=fcbc6bfba2930d0436c1eb444141264c)
-
I asked Demo to take a seat after I had sat Ern down.
"where shall I sit?" Demo asked, I replied, "On uranus".
Phew! I had to get the cobwebs off those two!
Thanks, Don, that's where I'll sit! And on this planet, since my wife's the apple of my eye I'll sit down right be cider.
-
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
-
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
Didn't you mean "jiggle"?
-
Wow,, Geezer, when you are determined to go after another punster, you really know how to go for the juggler!
-
Depends on your view, whether they are juggling balls or jiggling something else.....
Though I have to admit I cannot juggle well, I keep losing something every so often whilst doing it, and it tends to get a bit messy around me if I do it too long.
-
Sean, I knew someone like that, but instead of continuing that way, he got a model airplane hobby that really took off.
-
Whao, this is really intense, I need to think of some pun-liners
-
Well, Chem, monorails always make for decent pun-one-liners...
-
I'm not train ed to handle such pun ishment
-
I hope this does not drive you underground.
-
I'm not train ed to handle such pun ishment
I hope this does not drive you underground.
Geezer, very perceptive! For all we know, Chem might be a spy who works from his basement bed underground and undercover!
-
MMMMMM Chem-mystery can be both exciting and scary at the same time, especially if you do not do your research properly and it all blows up.
-
Sean, yes, that's what happens when you're out of your element.
-
I've also noticed a lot of bad stuff seems to happen when I'm out with my elephant.
-
But at least they will work for peanuts.
-
Sometimes when you're monkeying around on an elephant you get hounded.
Has anyone seen the video "Suryia and Hound"? I find it one of those events that touches my soul. http://video.aol.com/video-detail/the-orangutan-and-the-hound/1234581161/?icid=VIDLRVNAT07 (http://video.aol.com/video-detail/the-orangutan-and-the-hound/1234581161/?icid=VIDLRVNAT07)
-
But at least they will work for peanuts.
Yes, but their agents will only wear the latest CA shoes, so it still gets pretty spendy.
-
CA shoes
Bless you!
-
Reminds me of this nut named Hazel who held up a bank saying 'give me all the cashew have'.
-
Sometimes when you're monkeying around on an elephant you get hounded.
I gave in when my wife hounded me about getting a puppy.
-
You really should briard, put your foot down and say 'NO'.
Setter up with a little kitten instead, she'll soon be feline OK and you'll retiever respect for you. You must pointer in the right direction.
Will she take it out for a walk and clean up after it? As soon as you take it out for walkies it will cock its leg up some lamp post, or some poor unsuspecting chap, frozen to the bone, waiting for a bus. And once it has wee'd you can guarantee it will shih tzun.
-
What are CA shoes?
-
What are CA shoes?
NY NJ MA NH VT WA FL CA OR etc.
-
Donnah, as you can see there are also MA shoes, but I'm not parting with that pair!
-
You really should briard, put your foot down and say 'NO'.
Setter up with a little kitten instead, she'll soon be feline OK and you'll retiever respect for you. You must pointer in the right direction.
Will she take it out for a walk and clean up after it? As soon as you take it out for walkies it will cock its leg up some lamp post, or some poor unsuspecting chap, frozen to the bone, waiting for a bus. And once it has wee'd you can guarantee it will shih tzun.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiggle.ie%2Fimages%2Fhalo-baby-grow-bag-swaddle-cats-dogs-4.jpg&hash=2462a8aec71ad69f03cd2ea63bdc52ef)
I propose that we all chip in and award Don this cat-dog swaddle for his petfect punning! Anyone second the notion?
BTW, shouldn't that say, shih tzum? (it's usually more than just un)
-
What are CA shoes?
WA shoes are you talking about?
-
The kind of shoe that heels you and helps your sole.
-
Wow, it sounds like it would even dye for me!
-
Indied
-
Ah, soles, he said tongue in cheek and laced up to the eyes with booze. That's the last time he'el drink so much after taking an upper to find inner sole peace.
What a load of old cobblers!
BTW, nice to see the return of the punning C4M.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fp.playme.com%2Fcspv%2F08-20-05-10-00-AudioPreview-Cover-JPEG256x256%2Fronald-naldi%2Fmamma-%28bixio-cherubini%29.jpg%3Fts%3D1263837518&hash=c9ee6fe72266ddb18ef10edb59b06cdd)
He got his foot in the door with this album!
-
Demo, I didn't think you would stoop so low, me old pal.
-
Has anyone seen the video "Suryia and Hound"? I find it one of those events that touches my soul.
http://video.aol.com/video-detail/the-orangutan-and-the-hound/1234581161/?icid=VIDLRVNAT07 (http://video.aol.com/video-detail/the-orangutan-and-the-hound/1234581161/?icid=VIDLRVNAT07)
Yes, Donnah, that was heartwarming! Thanks.
This was not a pun
This was not a pun
This was not a pun
This was not a pun
-
Demo, I didn't think you would stoop so low, me old pal.
Aw, Geezer, you made me feel bad with that remark, so I'll reform my ways and go back to being a high maintenance old pal!
-
...laced up to the eyes...
People who make necklaces may get beady eyes.
-
Oh pal, is it jewellery puns now?
-
Pearl, Opal, and Ruby all work in a jewelry store with Grace.
-
In just one month we'll have a brand new cable channel, OWN: The Opal Winfrey Network!
-
Will she dye her hair platinum blonde?
-
Naw, Don, she's well beyond just being a diamond in the rough these days.
-
Oh dear, a bit past it eh? I hope she doesn't have trouble with her, eh em, 'sit-upon'. I hear that emeralds can be quite painful. Though you can get cream for the problem, I don't fancy applying it! If her nurse doesn't do it properly for her, she might gets a phired for her error.
-
Doctor to patient
Come in Mrs Jewel, sit down and tell me qwart zeems to be the trouble?
-
I hear that emeralds can be quite painful.
I wouldn't worry about it. She's got piles of money.
-
You guys are being too hasty! Shouldn't we more carefully and deliberately analyze the situation??
-
But if you feel that I'm mistaken, then by all means go ahead and correct it all.
-
Co lon and get on with it then if you must.
-
A smelly ant was expelled from the colony because he was deodorant.
-
Did I ever mention that, with hindsight, I could have been a proctologist?
-
Oh now that, I don't sphinc ter good job.
-
Did I ever mention that, with hindsight, I could have been a proctologist?
Glad you asked. Maybe now you'll reply! [;D]
With hindsight, I could have been a proctologist.
And with foresight??
-
.....And with foresight??.......
A Rabbi.....
Oh! foresight, sorry pardon, my mistake.
-
It was an honest bristake.
-
Well, its no skin off my nose.
-
My vote, so far, goes to Geezer for his Proctology Pun. He certainly doesn't make an ass of himself!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.localmouth.com%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2008%2F10%2Fistock_000003721276xsmall.jpg&hash=34bb948422582bf8cd177f435ba8cb61)
-
Well, its no skin off my nose.
The rabbi nose you need an anatomy lesson!
-
Make sure you have that cup engraved, I suggest with the legend 'You arsked for it'.
-
Well, its no skin off my nose.
The rabbi nose you need an anatomy lesson!
Well, under the circumstises.....
-
I think I'm just about all punned out for today, so I'm off to bed.
Can you dream in puns? I hope not, I should think its nored funny.
-
Don, I'd wish you sweet dreams, but I don't know if you're diabetic.
-
Well, its no skin off my nose.
The rabbi nose you need an anatomy lesson!
Well, under the circumstises.....
Yeah, yeah, I know, and the assisting nurse has a lousy salary but makes up for it in tips....groan....
-
The beer served in our local is so cold I find it more comfortable to take along a pair of bar mits for insulation.
-
Yes, the mitz are vahry important the colder it gets!
-
Are Santa's helpers subordinate clauses?
-
Yes, and they are subject to stringant elf a safety regulations.
-
So they must conform or elfs?
-
Or elfs they wont get the sack!
-
Good grief.... [ Invalid Attachment ]
-
Must be someone from The Bored Of Elf.
-
He got a reprimand for goblin down his breakfast.
-
He was not Hobgoblin down his brekkie, he was hobbled for elf violations - he took his boots and would you Rudolpf it put them in front of the fire before Santa Klaus could say Ho Ho NO!
-
That's fairy interesting, Sean.
-
Beast I cud drool at snort notice.
-
Beast I cud drool at snort notice.
I noticed the article about peripheral vision out of the corner of my eye.
-
Did you also notice the elfphant in the living room?
-
Welcome Back Notice to JimBob: WB!
-
JimBob, thanks for pointing that out. The elephant's opinion carries a lot of weight.
-
He'd get better MPG if he took all the junk out of his trunk.
(Don - See in the US, we never get a boot in the back because we like to keep a hood up front.
-
Getting all the junk out of his trunk could prove a very time consuming tusk.
If you put a hat on the engine, would it be a bonnet?
-
If it had a bonnet, would you bee able to find which end was the safe side to be on, and which end is a little pointedly unsafe to bee near?
If I could post something completely different here:
A one... two-- A one... two... three... four...
Half a bee, philosophically,
Must, ipso facto, half not be.
But half the bee has got to be
Vis a vis, its entity. D'you see?
But can a bee be said to be
Or not to be an entire bee
When half the bee is not a bee
Due to some ancient injury?
Singing...
La dee dee, one two three,
Eric the half a bee.
A B C D E F G,
Eric the half a bee.
Is this wretched demi-bee,
Half-asleep upon my knee,
Some freak from a menagerie?
No! It's Eric the half a bee!
Fiddle de dum, Fiddle de dee,
Eric the half a bee.
Ho ho ho, tee hee hee,
Eric the half a bee.
I love this hive, employee-ee,
Bisected accidentally,
One summer afternoon by me,
I love him carnally.
He loves him carnally,
Semi-carnally.
The end.
Cyril Connelly?
No; semi-carnally!
Oh.
Cyril Connelly.
[whistling]
-
Sean, this is VERY important reading to all those people who have Carnal Tunnel Syndrome!!
-
He was not Hobgoblin down his brekkie, he was hobbled for elf violations - he took his boots and would you Rudolpf it put them in front of the fire before Santa Klaus could say Ho Ho NO!
That's fairy interesting, Sean.
Yes, I agree that it's fairy interesting, but do reindeer have tails???
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funmax.com%2FTahiti_water.jpg&hash=828a6e7ad3b926c8a0b655b697cae786)
Let's all thank Geezer for his oh-so-generous gesture of paying for _all_ our travel, hotel and ANY miscellaneous expenses (e.g., lavish presents for the special someones) to Tahiti this December, 2010 for The Annual Punning Thread Conference! (He said invite friends and family, too, including mistresses/lovers...even kids' friends and their parents!! It's all on him!! Unlimited, really!)
Hurrah, Geezer!!
-
Obviously more WikiLeaks propaganda.
-
Cable from Scottish Embassy! [;D] :)
-
Was it a hemp cable or an iron cable?
-
Isn't it illegal to promote marijuana via cable?
-
Only if it's mariwanika.
-
Scottish Embassy! [;D]
You'll not get any Ferraro Rocher (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4P-nZZkQqTc) off that ambassador!
-
Let's all thank Geezer for his oh-so-generous gesture of paying for _all_ our travel, hotel and ANY miscellaneous expenses (e.g., lavish presents for the special someones) to Tahiti this December, 2010 for The Annual Punning Thread Conference! (He said invite friends and family, too, including mistresses/lovers...even kids' friends and their parents!! It's all on him!! Unlimited, really!)
Hurrah, Geezer!!
Three chairs for Geezer, he'll need to sit down when he gets the bill.
I'm all packed and ready to go, just waiting for the 1st class flight tickets to arrive in the post from the great Geezer.
While I wait, are there any good golf courses there? If so I'll practice my swing. I want to hit the ball squarely, not ta hit tee
-
Don, that's the spirit! Just think, at first, Geezer wanted to save money by having us all travel to Tahiti on a flying carpet. That would have been much too rugged an experience!
-
........ on a flying carpet.............
On a flying carpet? Tuft, tuft, tuft, the very idea. Besides, I tend to wilt on such means of transport.
Where's the TNS Minister of Transport? I don't wish to pile it on, but was he aware of this? He must do his job properly, otherwise he'll be made redundant in the ensuing cut backs? ......................... Axe Minister now............................
-
TNS Minister of Transport? Excellent idea, Don, he was formerly in charge of transporting salt. That's how he became a mover and shaker!
-
All became rather embarrassing really, that's why he had to locked in the cellar.
-
Speaking of transport to Tahiti, I hear that you no longer will get transported to Australia if you are a criminal in the UK, at least if you are Julian Assange!
Now that is a pun, even though it is true.
Now, locked in the cellar, was he there because he celled out, or was it because he had a poor cell reception?
-
Scottish Embassy! [;D]
You'll not get any Ferraro Rocher (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4P-nZZkQqTc) off that ambassador!
Scottish Embassy! [;D]
You'll not get any Ferraro Rocher (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4P-nZZkQqTc) off that ambassador!
Right pal! Square go ootside! I'll teach you to call me a cheap 'bassadord.
-
Speaking of transport to Tahiti, I hear that you no longer will get transported to Australia if you are a criminal in the UK, at least if you are Julian Assange!
I'm trying to figure out why he doesn't just paint a target on his forehead with a big arrow pointing at it that says "Shoot Here". Surely that would be a lot quicker than going through all this palaver?
-
All became rather embarrassing really, that's why he had to locked in the cellar.
You must be talking about C4M aka Chem. At first I thought he might be a spy working from his basement bed, undercover and underground, but now you've got me wondering if he's really an author who writes from his basement and has a best cellar.
-
Scottish Embassy! [;D]
You'll not get any Ferraro Rocher (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4P-nZZkQqTc) off that ambassador!
Scottish Embassy! [;D]
You'll not get any Ferraro Rocher (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4P-nZZkQqTc) off that ambassador!
Right pal! Square go ootside! I'll teach you to call me a cheap 'bassadord.
Is there an echo around here?
there an echo around here?
an echo around here?
echo around here?
around here?
here?
See yoo Jummy, stitch this
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fhitting%2F3.gif&hash=368d890476d3d1463a661a6a428b357a) Oh I say! Why you bounder & cad sir, take that!
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......an author who writes from his basement and has a best cellar.
Available from Waterstones, WH Smith, Amazon and author good book cellers.
-
Is there an echo around here?
there an echo around here?
an echo around here?
echo around here?
around here?
here?
I will echo the thoughts of the medical community that an echocardiogram does not reveal the artery blockages that led to my 5-way bypass last December (ouch to the memory!).
Available from Waterstones, WH Smith, Amazon and author good book cellers.
[;D] [;D] [;D]
-
Now, locked in the cellar, was he there because he celled out, or was it because he had a poor cell reception?
Not sure, but I do know that in jail convicts use cell phones.
-
Important news about texting!
The IRS (HMRC in UK) left a message on my cell phone that I owed them more money. It was a taxed message.
-
Interesting, I had the same incomeing message
-
[;D] [;D] [;D]
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fe3a14ab2.jpg&hash=d8f4d0be7e7b8135b1ba0e0099cdae12)
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Sheesh Demo! I was trying to keep it as a surprise. OK, enough already! This is where we're staying.
http://www.tahitiinn.com/
-
... I was trying to keep it as a surprise.
If it has an elevated Michelin stared restaurant, it will still be a nice soup rise.
-
Shouldn't that read 'Planck Place'?
-
Planck Palace?
-
I may be as thick as two short planks, but I have not got those tickets yet, have checked downstairs a few times, nutting new down there, just the same old stuff as before. Though, having looked at the website, I am a little wary of the rooms there, the beds look a little hard and lumpy, and there were no sheets visible.
-
There's another Pack Place in Bastin, Massachusetts. They tried to call it Park Place, but they eventually had to give up.
-
Shouldn't that read 'Planck Place'?
Yes, yor_on, you're right, here it is!
http://tcande.blogspot.com
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F49037443993f4a8ab3a359558d8eb8d30.jpg&hash=5a1bb57aaaa5bebbc7d55081f74690fe)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.women-on-the-road.com%2Fimage-files%2Fslum-tourism-01.jpg&hash=058fa4513226d3da6aef1347b78466b8)
Adding to the shame of it all, here, from Scottish WikiLeaks is a certified stolen photo of Geezer's plan for our "wondrous sightseeing tour". Sigh.
Geezer can be seen above (only partially, mostly his bare feet) in the first doorway on your left, relaxing as he waits for the corrupt "Sightseeing Manager" to negotiate a swindle of a deal. Each of us would have certainly had to pay some "tax".
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tear.org.au%2Fimages%2Fcommon%2FslumSurvivorSlum.jpg&hash=4757c0d4e17c955d0203529e37962ee1)
Geezer's nightclubbing plans for all of us!!!
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There's another Pack Place in Bastin, Massachusetts. They tried to call it Park Place, but they eventually had to give up.
[;D] [;D] [;D]
-
I may be as thick as two short planks, but I have not got those tickets yet, have checked downstairs a few times, nutting new down there, just the same old stuff as before. Though, having looked at the website, I am a little wary of the rooms there, the beds look a little hard and lumpy, and there were no sheets visible.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fi.edu%2Flearn%2Fcase-files%2Fplanck%2Fplanck_medal.gif&hash=072140f16f2f4c5808dd872c2ddb009e)
Sean, you are hereby awarded this Medal for your fine whistleblower post! Justice has now been served.
-
And I still can'y get money from Mc and V - something about not sending via Western Union to Africa, as it is a scam! How else am I supposed to help that poor relative who has so much money tied up in an account, but who cannot get it out without help, and is willing to give me a 40% share for assistance in doing so.
Getting very good nw, I think the writer is now in high school, or at least is not watching American television exclusively.
BTW Demo, I thank you for the medal, as soon as I figure out how to print screen to metal I will wear it with pride.
-
No, no, no, Sean, look for the Print Medal key!
-
And I still can't get money from Mc and V - something about not sending via Western Union to Africa, as it is a scam! How else am I supposed to help that poor relative who has so much money tied up in an account, but who cannot get it out without help, and is willing to give me a 40% share for assistance in doing so.
Getting very good nw, I think the writer is now in high school, or at least is not watching American television exclusively.
Sean, there are great tips here that should help!
http://j-walk.com/other/conf/
-
The local timber yard advertises 7 metre floor boards available. Does this constitue a max plank?
-
That local timber yard manager made a huge mistake in that advertisement. I hope his boss doesn't make him walk the plank!
-
demo, is that one next to the "any" key?
-
Yes, to the left. Or is it the right? No wait, it's above. No...perhaps it's below. Hmmmmmmm....
-
It is situated between Key West and Big Coppit Key, about 400 yards NNW of Naval Air Station Key West key.
-
I still do not know where it is.
Perhaps I need a new keyboard, like the ones from www.usbtypewriter.com as an example.
I think it may be a good idea, as it will give a record of all keystrokes, a mechanical keylogger, what a good idea.
On the other hand, what did the fish say when he swam into the wall?
DAM!
-
My keyboard doesn't have an "Any Key" which can be bloody annoying at times, let me tell you!
Piece of crap, friggin imported junk, who's running the place
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww-trader.com%2Fcatalog%2Fimages%2FOLD%2520TYPEWRITER-3.JPG&hash=0f36557ad675b2d50ea8f079a528b28f)
Attention all young, hotshot know-it-alls: just remember, next time you send an email that instantly goes round the world, and you cc: or bcc: someone? It originated as "carbon copy", or "blind carbon copy"...nyah, nyah!
-
Key West key.
Isn't that repetitively redundant?
-
What's the symbol for blind carbon? There can be no C.
-
... I was trying to keep it as a surprise.
If it has an elevated Michelin stared restaurant, it will still be a nice soup rise.
True, Don, but if you eat soup that's nine days old you will get bad broth.
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What's the symbol for blind carbon? There can be no C.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freewebs.com%2Fsymbolc%2FdanceingC.gif&hash=f1b5b79b30e3e9c176eac3846cf80fe3)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tahitiinn.com%2FTemp%2Ftahiti-logo-250.gif&hash=8975ce5445122e9e40c6c7c79acfb914)
The shame never ends. The website declares, "Closed For The 2010 Season"! Bernie Madoff was never this devious!!
http://www.tahitiinn.com/
-
At least they might be open for fleecing in around 21 days.........
-
[Bernie Madoff was never this devious!!
Perhaps not, be he sure made off with a lot of people's money.
-
At least they might be open for fleecing in around 21 days.........
Are ewe serious?
-
At least they might be open for fleecing in around 21 days.........
Are ewe serious?
Not if he's ever been in Newe Joisey in January.
-
At least they might be open for fleecing in around 21 days.........
Are ewe serious?
Not if he's ever been in Newe Joisey in January.
Just like the sheep owner who sold his flock for too little was told: 'ewe were fleeced.'
-
Bernie Madoff was never this devious!!
Perhaps not, be he sure made off with a lot of people's money.
Right, Geezer, and that reminds me that when Peter Pan spoke to Captain Hook he made an off-hand comment
-
Wasn't there a tribe of very small people somewhere that called themselves the Flockawie?
-
Wasn't there a tribe of very small people somewhere that called themselves the Flockawie?
I get the strangest feeling that's not true, infact, I think its contribed.
-
Wasn't there a tribe of very small people somewhere that called themselves the Flockawie?
I get the strangest feeling that's not true, infact, I think its contribed.
Oh, it's true alright. They were so diminutive that they could easily get lost on your lawn if you hadn't cut the grass for a couple of weeks.
-
Click here:
Punitis is a mental disorder that forces the person inflicted to come up with meaningless word plays. The inflicted will be constantly coming up with puns for sometimes hours on end. Sadly there is no known cure. (http://bugle.wikia.com/wiki/Punitis)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages1.wikia.nocookie.net%2F__cb20100224235843%2Fbugle%2Fimages%2Fthumb%2Fb%2Fb6%2FPunny_Sign.jpg%2F180px-Punny_Sign.jpg&hash=67425e75475e34b3a4cb6e5766218a4c) (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages4.wikia.nocookie.net%2F__cb20100221000261%2Fbugle%2Fimages%2Fthumb%2F1%2F15%2FLepreCan.jpg%2F197px-LepreCan.jpg&hash=416d0b7d8fbc057c04d6fabd26dcfe94)
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Wasn't there a tribe of very small people somewhere that called themselves the Flockawie?
I get the strangest feeling that's not true, infact, I think its contribed.
contribed! [;D]
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Wasn't there a tribe of very small people somewhere that called themselves the Flockawie?
I get the strangest feeling that's not true, infact, I think its contribed.
Oh, it's true alright. They were so diminutive that they could easily get lost on your lawn if you hadn't cut the grass for a couple of weeks.
Wouldn't they all get eaten alive by those dandy lions???
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Wasn't there a tribe of very small people somewhere that called themselves the Flockawie?
I get the strangest feeling that's not true, infact, I think its contribed.
Oh, it's true alright. They were so diminutive that they could easily get lost on your lawn if you hadn't cut the grass for a couple of weeks.
Wouldn't they all get eaten alive by those dandy lions???
See, that's exactlty what they were afraid of. So, to summon help from a neighboring tribe, they bunched together and started yelling in unison,
"We're the Flockawie! We're the Flockawie!"
-
Now that's some shear determination...
Please continewe...
-
I think he's just trying to pull the wool over our eyes.
-
I think he is spinning another yarn myself.
-
Well, there really isn't any more to say, unless you say it quickly ten times.
-
Geezer must have been spending "too much time" with the shepard, don't ewe think?
-
Geezer must have been spending "too much time" with the shepard, don't ewe think?
So, basically, you didn't get it. Sheesh!
I suppose that's what happens when you hang out with a bunch of wannabee long horns.
-
Oh no, is this
long horns.
a cue for another round of bovine puns?
We'll have the TNS Pun Squad after us with their water cannons, then they'll angus out to dry.
Perhaps we should move toward the seasonal puns now, I asked Father Xmas for some new garden tools, but he just laughed, "Hoe hoe hoe."
-
long horns.
How much ram does your computer have?
-
I agree, there's some ramming going on here [;D]
-
I think he's just trying to pull the wool over our eyes.
I think he is spinning another yarn myself.
More like a yawn, if you ask me. [;D]
-
How much ram does your computer have?
I'm not sure, but my ram has several computers.
[ Invalid Attachment ]
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Oh no, is this
long horns.
a cue for another round of bovine puns?
We'll have the TNS Pun Squad after us with their water cannons, then they'll angus out to dry.
Don, if you have a beef with the TNS Pun Squad, you can't just stew about it, you have to bring it up to the steering committee.
You cannon do it any other way!
-
I asked Father Xmas for some new garden tools, but he just laughed, "Hoe hoe hoe."
Don, as a gardener you should know the ground rules by now.
-
Someone threw a snowball at me the other day. It was that rotten little heifer across the street.
-
OK which one?
1. Heifer definition, a young cow over one year old that has not produced a calf.
2. In the slang, when someone uses the word "heifer", they are usually referring to an overweight woman.
Oh, pardon me! I thought this was the punning thread.
(None of the above.)
EDIT: I suppose that's not strictly correct. Either would be appropriate, but you have to get the pronunciation right.
-
Geezer must have been spending "too much time" with the shepard, don't ewe think?
After the shepherd retired, he felt ewes less.
-
Now that's some shear determination...
Please continewe...
The optometrist moonlighted as a jazz musician so he could continewe to improve-eyes.
-
I asked Father Xmas for some new garden tools, but he just laughed, "Hoe hoe hoe."
Don, as a gardener you should know the ground rules by now.
Sorry to rake up this post again, but I think it proves that demo speaks with forked tongue.
-
Geezer must have been spending "too much time" with the shepard, don't ewe think?
After the shepherd retired, he felt ewes less.
His wife tried to keep him busy around the house. "Come on man, no good doing nothing, get the work done, chop chop."
-
I asked Father Xmas for some new garden tools, but he just laughed, "Hoe hoe hoe."
Don, as a gardener you should know the ground rules by now.
Sorry to rake up this post again, but I think it proves that demo speaks with forked tongue.
Oh no, I forked up again? That's like a knife through my heart!!
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Geezer must have been spending "too much time" with the shepard, don't ewe think?
After the shepherd retired, he felt ewes less.
His wife tried to keep him busy around the house. "Come on man, no good doing nothing, get the work done, chop chop."
And there's mutton he can do about that nagging? He'll probably flock to the nearest tavern.
-
And upon his return to home he'll just get another lambasting.
-
Merry Chistmas and Happy Newe Year to all the sheople of the world.
-
Yes, Donnah, and let's not forget the Jeweish celebration of Hannukah.
-
And upon his return to home he'll just get another lambasting.
Hopefully, after that, they'll kiss and make up and maybe she'll make him his favorite shepherd's pie again.
-
Someone threw a snowball at me the other day. It was that rotten little heifer across the street.
Similar thing happened to me a heifer dozen times!
-
Someone threw a snowball at me the other day. It was that rotten little heifer across the street.
Similar thing happened to me a heifer dozen times!
You should give the man a prize for being out standing in his field [;D] [;D]
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You should give the man a prize for being out standing in his field [;D] [;D]
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clintcatalyst.com%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fgallery%2Fprize-ribbonscollaboration-with-jared-gold%2Fhedonist-prize-ribbon-modeled-by-zoetica.jpg&hash=3b6ed3778449a0b02f33b890ad95225b)
OK, Chem, but you'll haveta remove it and give it to her him! <<<<<edit
(You too can be a standout!)
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At least they might be open for fleecing in around 21 days.........
Are ewe serious?
Not if he's ever been in Newe Joisey in January.
Is that near New Lambshire?
-
You certainly know how to milk them puns demografx, it's udderly amazing
-
Is that near New Lambshire?
No. I Think you are confusing it with Newe Hempshire. It's the one slightly to the left of here.
-
To the left? I try not to be too political (or even correct) about geography, Geezer!
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You certainly know how to milk them puns demografx, it's udderly amazing
Why, thank you, Chem! I try to give it a fair shake.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnewsimg.bbc.co.uk%2Fmedia%2Fimages%2F39259000%2Fjpg%2F_39259714_yamaniap203.jpg&hash=aed640498da3087771d979d5110bdc42)
Sheikh Yamani
At this time of year, I've no mani left to sheikh, its all gone on Xmas prezzies.
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To the left? I try not to be too political (or even correct) about geography, Geezer!
New Hempshire is more potlitical.
-
To the left? I try not to be too political (or even correct) about geography, Geezer!
New Hempshire is more potlitical.
Is that why Mary Kay doesn't wanna pursue business there?
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnewsimg.bbc.co.uk%2Fmedia%2Fimages%2F39259000%2Fjpg%2F_39259714_yamaniap203.jpg&hash=aed640498da3087771d979d5110bdc42)
Sheikh Yamani
At this time of year, I've no mani left to sheikh, its all gone on Xmas prezzies.
But, Don, if you know just a little about music, you don't need mani to teach the children to play Haydn Sheik.
-
Oh 'El, garantee you'll not be doing any more composer puns.
-
You have my word, Don!!
Here at my estate on Monteverdi I attempted a Liszt of classical composers but had to go Bach because I couldn't get a Handel on it.
-
Here at my estate on Monteverdi I attempted a Liszt of classical composers but had to go Bach because I couldn't get a Handel on it.
Don,
Pay no attention. My colleague means no harm. He's obviously slightly Brahms'd.
-
Here at my estate on Monteverdi I attempted a Liszt of classical composers but had to go Bach because I couldn't get a Handel on it.
Don,
Pay no attention. My colleague means no harm. He's obviously slightly Brahms'd.
Well, colleague Geezer, if you were Chopin onions all day like me, you'd be crying, too!!
(boo hoo)
-
if you were Chopin onions all day like me, you'd be crying, too!!
We'll probably be able to Mendelthatssohn, so don't worry about it.
-
Well something's gotta give, or I'll go baroque. Period!
-
Well something's gotta give, or I'll go baroque. Period!
Surely you mean Bismarck?
-
Are you some sort of a hood?
I need to find something to stops yarn horseing around.
-
Are you some sort of a hood?
I need to find something to stops yarn horseing around.
I was not horseing around. It was Demo hoodunnit sir!
-
Well something's gotta give, or I'll go baroque. Period!
Surely you mean Bismarck?
Geezer, why do you accuse me of sinking to such depraved depths? This thread has indeed hit upon some treacherous waters.
-
Are you some sort of a hood?
I need to find something to stops yarn horseing around.
I was not horseing around. It was Demo hoodunnit sir!
OK, you guys want a Whodunit??? Well, you asked for it! No mercy!! [;D]
The electrician was suspected of wiretapping once but was never charged.
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The electrician was suspected of wiretapping once but was never charged.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing021.gif&hash=44605df69e1507c3ed4d235c15c22e92) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Hahahahaha, oh dear! That's a gas!
-
What might have been the first ever pun?
Could it have been when a litterbug caveman spoilt the view of a meadow by discarding his old worn out boots there?
"Ugg lea".
-
Geezer, why do you accuse me of sinking to such depraved depths? This thread has indeed hit upon some treacherous waters.
Mr Justice Soxon
Mr Demografx, You stand here accused of depth charges.
-
To both you guys: (and everyone here contributing to my mirth day...
[;D] [;D] [;D] [;D] [;D]
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Geezer, why do you accuse me of sinking to such depraved depths? This thread has indeed hit upon some treacherous waters.
Mr Justice Soxon
Mr Demografx, You stand here accused of depth charges.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm4.static.flickr.com%2F3100%2F2794463063_53b1425e49.jpg&hash=83532f9ef6c852b8c5d058ab4f905140)
The Honorable Mr Justice Soxon relaxing between Sessions
(Judiciously, the socks match).
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The electrician was suspected of wiretapping once but was never charged.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing021.gif&hash=44605df69e1507c3ed4d235c15c22e92) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Hahahahaha, oh dear! That's a gas!
Everyone's fuming over the high cost of gas.
-
I phoned British Gas and had a blazing row with them over their prices. They told me there is another price rise in the pipeline.
-
Similar to tire prices, Don. Due to inflation.
-
Dion, I bet that made you flaming mad. And I am sure the inflation just made you hotter.
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Take it easy JimBob. We don't want Don to get all irrigated.
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Water you suggesting?
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Dion, I bet that...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foldies.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fi%2Fboxart%2Fsimu%2F93%2F090431937020.jpg&hash=89d61731c948b71ccdbd54d77799444a) (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F_mbWThvBk2kA%2FSDwg84_dTVI%2FAAAAAAAAFhE%2FrteYA9K4TD8%2Fs320%2FDion.jpg&hash=d68fec86abcd1d93c652e68e17cf3d54)
JimBob, Dion is a Forum member? The Belmonts, too?
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Water you suggesting?
Water you waiting for? Just jump in.
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Take it easy JimBob. We don't want Don to get all irrigated.
I have no drought about that.
-
Similar to tire prices, Don. Due to inflation.
Dion, I bet that made you flaming mad. And I am sure the inflation just made you hotter.
Not with tires. Only with Viagra.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftoons.artie.com%2F20010301%2Farg-dancing-happy-holidays-red-sm-url.gif&hash=49aa1261fec2406f1747d0890712d7a0)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftoons.artie.com%2F20010301%2Farg-dancing-happy-holidays-red-sm-url.gif&hash=49aa1261fec2406f1747d0890712d7a0)
The Alpha (first) bet lost - came up snake eyes while playing craps.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftoons.artie.com%2F20010301%2Farg-dancing-happy-holidays-red-sm-url.gif&hash=49aa1261fec2406f1747d0890712d7a0)
The Alpha (first) bet lost - came up snake eyes while playing craps.
I wanted to gamble, but my wife said, "No Dice".
-
You are giving up gambling?
Can I bet that you are not..........
Sean, how can you say that? You don't have the Vegas idea of my intentions!
-
I went camping with my husband and got no rumpy pumpy, just a lot of in tent shuns.
-
I went camping with my husband and got no rumpy pumpy, just a lot of in tent shuns.
Reminds me of the fire at the circus. Did you hear about it? It was in tents!
-
Speaking of a fire at the circus, did they manage to keep the fire under wraps?
-
Nah, the circus manager tried real hard, but it's all unfair so he's always getting a bum wrap.
-
I went camping with my husband and got no rumpy pumpy, just a lot of in tent shuns.
Make It Lady, I'm sure one of us would gladly step up to the challenge and...er...fill in...what dereliction of husbandly duty!
Then afterwards, we could all celebrate and have a rump roast dinner. Nothing butt!
-
Aside from the Demon Demo doing his darnedest to delete my delectable dissertation, I can definitely say that dinner and a delightful night are definitely a desire at the present time, a thing that would be desirable is a cool night, as it is moderately warm here, decidedly dripping with humidity, and a darn sight sticky, without any of the delectable desirable doings that normally describe the delights that precede the sticky delight, just a hot muggy day here.
A rump roast dinner is not on the cards, more like a roast rear of an unfortunate reptilian descendant, rather the worse after losing the ability to fly, and even more so after losing the ability to cluck rather recently as well.
-
Sean, Poetry In Motion!!!
-
Praise indeed from the master of cunning linguistics!
-
Praise indeed from the master of cunning linguistics!
Did you know he's also a master magician? He loves cunning stunts.
-
I know, it is his mastery with his wand that amazes me, it is amazing just how well the orchestra plays when he waves that little stick at them, sheer musical enjoyment.
-
Praise indeed from the master of cunning linguistics!
[:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o]
-
Did you know he's also a master magician?
Yes! People have even watched in awe as he walks down the street and turns into a drugstore!!
-
You turned into a shop, would it be the transformation that amazes them, or the variety and potency of the supplies on the shelves?
-
My magic has a short shelf life.
-
He loves cunning stunts.
I actually prefer publicity stunts.
-
...a darn sight sticky...
...delights that precede the sticky delight...
...when he waves that little stick...
Hmm. A predilection for "stick"??
Oh well. I've tried numerous times to apply myself, but nothing seems to stick.
-
It is in the usage of the stick, not just the application therof to the object in question.........
-
If you are RC, would you use a rhythm stick?
-
It is in the usage of the stick, not just the application therof to the object in question.........
I guess that means if you have sticky buns you shouldn't put pants on.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm2.static.flickr.com%2F1218%2F1460887361_9d2be0fe61.jpg&hash=41a91487a9dcdfdd2b143e3bdef9a329)
-
If you are RC, would you use a rhythm stick?
Ha. That reminds me of the dyslexic cop who was arrested for stopping drunk drivers and issuing them all IUD's.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdavidkiyokawa.com%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F12%2Fhappy-new-year-animated-gif-2.gif&hash=70e5e04a86523de72b3a0244a7a92e72)
-
You should see the snow around here. Looks like the fake stuff you see in movies. We certainly got a good flocking.
-
Geezer, I was thinking of seeing the movie, Little Flockers, but 'rotten tomatoes' gave it only a 10% rating!
-
We certainly got a good flocking.
A flock of doves decided to stage a coo.
-
I think the ring leader's name was coobler kahn.
-
A magic tractor drove down the road and turned into a field!
-
Oh dear, you shouldn't have said that. you have invited a cornucopia of farming puns to be ploughed up by the combined harvesters of puns on this forum.
-
Wheat else do you suggest?
-
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dung can...
Duncan who?
Dung can make the grass grow.
-
What do you call a farmer with a spade in his head?
Doug!
-
Did you know he's also a master magician?
Yes! People have even watched in awe as he walks down the street and turns into a drugstore!!
A magic tractor drove down the road and turned into a field!
Similar strokes for similar folks?
-
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dung can...
Duncan who?
Dung can make the grass grow.
Really? No sh - - !!
-
We certainly got a good flocking.
A flock of doves decided to stage a coo.
I think the ring leader's name was coobler kahn.
Not sam t. cooleridge???
-
A flock of crows flew over the farm yesterday... it was murder!
-
Oh dear, you shouldn't have said that. you have invited a cornucopia of farming puns to be ploughed up by the combined harvesters of puns on this forum.
I think this one deserves a prize:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fphoto.jpg&hash=51d0cca154d3b82b5b05f0fdafcdbd4c)
Sorry, Don, I couldn't find one in your gender...
-
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dung can...
Duncan who?
Dung can make the grass grow.
Really? No sh - - !!
No. Quite a lot really.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fphoto.jpg&hash=51d0cca154d3b82b5b05f0fdafcdbd4c)
They don't look like corns to me. Is something afoot here?
-
Defeat stared us in the face, so did de toes and de ankles.
-
Well, we were under a tack at the time.
-
I would go so far as to say we were well and truly screwed. But we turned the tables and gave them a good hammering.
-
Pretty much a nailated I'd call it. Just as well we were able to get three-and-fourpence.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fphoto.jpg&hash=51d0cca154d3b82b5b05f0fdafcdbd4c)
They don't look like corns to me. Is something afoot here?
Aw, shucks, Don, it was my Consultant's fault, below, Princess Husk!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.blindpigment.com%2Fimages%2FCornWoman.jpg&hash=4d82167f4134190238f97ae5029ef8fe)
-
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dung can...
Duncan who?
Dung can make the grass grow.
Really? No sh - - !!
No. Quite a lot really.
Whew! For a sec there, I thought you were feeding me a buncha crap...
-
I would go so far as to say we were well and truly screwed. But we turned the tables and gave them a good hammering.
It's just as well Brad brought all those staples with him, or we might have starved to death. Just as well too, cause some of the men were going a bit nuts and getting ready to bolt.
-
Seems like Brad nailed it, even though he didn't bring a hammer.
-
Brad? I'd pitt my wits against him any time. It would be plane sailing. I shall file my report for all to saw ---- Oops, wrong tense, I mean 'see'.
-
Don't be too harsh, I heard from the buzz that he's a sensitive gay blade. And don't chisel him out of his due respect. There's room for many of us to grind out our unique contribution. Weld, I have to go now.
-
Weld there's no need to be so brazing about it. I suppose we'll just have to solder on without you.
-
Weld there's no need to be so brazing about it. I suppose we'll just have to solder on without you.
OK, then solder on if you must. As long as you're not gunning for me. We can always iron things out later!
-
There goes Demo, showing his metal. Could he be a retired copper? I don't know what lead me to say that.
Oooo, Owch, my plumbago is playing up.
-
OK, then solder on if you must.
We shall. And we will ensure that the metal gets fluxed.
-
This whole thread is in a state of flux. Hasta lumbago, guys, I'm going to the coppers' retirement ball. Hm, Don is so perceptive I wonder how he knew I was a copper, I'm usually so off-beat.
-
Just what planished are you living on?
-
I wouldn't say I was exactly planished, but I am getting slightly peckish.
-
Peckish, like Gregory or like Silky?
-
Just what planished are you living on?
This chat is making me phamished, gotta eat sump'n now.
-
I wouldn't say I was exactly planished, but I am getting slightly peckish.
Not to worry, Geezer, we have no pecking order here.
-
But you could end up with a hefty bill.
If you refuse to pay, you will find yourself up in front of the beak.
-
Well, I'm standing my ground, so I will just bea kourageous!
-
Like my mum used to say, "If you can't be good, bea kareful."
So there, beak!
-
And if you can't be careful , make sure you don't do it where there are non witless witnesses.
-
It paste to be careful with glue.
-
Q: Why do they call him Charles Atlas?
A: Because 'e never wears an 'at.
-
You bowlered me over with that, I just can't topper it.
-
Q: Why do they call him Charles Atlas?
A: Because 'e never wears an 'at.
For the above pun, Geezer gets the Charles Atlas Demografx Award!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fitnesshealthzone.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F06%2Fcharles-atlas.jpg&hash=ccc232674c51050e49cd8e53f719be87)
(Geezer will receive this recent picture of me - autographed! )
Framed, too!
-
Q: Why do they call him Charles Atlas?
A: Because 'e never wears an 'at.
You bowlered me over with that, I just can't topper it.
Hmm. Ya know, you two bowlers bear a striking resemblance!
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fitnesshealthzone.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F06%2Fcharles-atlas.jpg&hash=ccc232674c51050e49cd8e53f719be87)
Can you turn around? I think it looks more like Gregory's pecks.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fitnesshealthzone.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F06%2Fcharles-atlas.jpg&hash=ccc232674c51050e49cd8e53f719be87)
Can you turn around? I think it looks more like Gregory's pecks.
Harrrumph, ok, Geezer, but your request is absolutely infuriating, let me tell ya!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi6.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy215%2Fhaven555%2Fugly_fat_man_big_tummy_funny_pictur.jpg&hash=deb581ce3fe46d5e62bef9554a1c601e)
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So, you think you can post a picture of me here with impunity eh!
-
So, you think you can post a picture of me here with impunity eh!
Uh-oh! Why do I feel that my picture-posting will now lead to my punishment??? (I hope I won't get punched out!!)
-
After much puntification, the court has ruled that you be immersed in a stagnant fishpund, whereupon your odour will become extremely pungent.
-
I accept said punishment deservedly and will not be punacious or repunant in any manner.
-
Will you punctilious punters please pole your punt punctually to the place for puny punks?
-
Pardon me dude, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?
-
Will you punctilious punters please pole your punt punctually to the place for puny punks?
Geezer, Geewhiz, what in Geeziz name would make Gearz like ours spin like Whirling Geervishez and defy Laws of Geezravity???
-
Is a counteroffensive French for somebody that can't do arithmetic?
-
No, the counteroffensive is really just the aftermath of the teacher grading his arithmetic.
-
Is it true that the fresh air accused the smog of acting like a complete aerosol?
-
Is it true that the fresh air accused the smog of acting like a complete aerosol?
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A
-
I think you have mist the point.
-
Is it true that the fresh air accused the smog of acting like a complete aerosol?
need a pair of shoes? (http://www.qype.co.uk/place/38745-R-Soles-London/photos/98079)
-
Don, is that the sole place they can be found?
-
I think you have mist the point.
True. I usually don't have the foggiest notion.
-
Don, is that the sole place they can be found?
I understand they also franchise them to "Cobblers At Last"
-
Of course! They even supplied the old-time rockers when they performed "Blue Suede Shoes".
-
I didn't know they did that one. I thought it was "Glue Made Hooves"
-
No,you're confusing it with "Johnny B. Glued". The publishing rights were recently bought by Bill Gaits. And did he ever pony up a small fortune to buy it!
-
........ "Glue Made Hooves"
I'll bet you're knackered after working that one out.
-
'Er indoors broke the heel off her shoe the other day, so she took it to the cobblers to be healed.
Over the door was a royal crest and the legend 'By Appointment, Cobblers to the Queen'. Would that constitute treason? Could he have his tongue cut out for not being in step with popular notions? Has he reached the upper limit? Should we take out his eyes for not toeing the line? Would he realise if he were first laced with vodka? What would be the last thing he would ever see? Call the police, quickly, to deal with this man, get that famous detective Slipper (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Slipper) of the Yard to investigate.
Does this very nearly cap it all? I hope you can read it all, I should hate to have to revamp it.
-
.... The publishing rights were recently bought by Bill Gaits. And did he ever pony up a small fortune to buy it!
He took it in his stride.
-
Alternative soliloquy to Shookarrow's mild cigar.
To b, or not to b, wasp's dilemma.
To c, or not to c, optician's dilemma.
To d, or not to d, tomorrow's dilemma.
To e, or not to e, Fosters dilemma.
To f, or not to f, dentist's dilemma.
To g, or not to g, horse's dilemma.
To h, or not to h, another dentist's dilemma.
To i, or not to i, upper class footballer's dilemma.
To j, or not to j, pedestrian's dilemma.
To k, or not to k, Gecko's dilemma.
To l, or not to l, St Peter's dilemma.
To m, or not to m, grave digger's dilemma.
To n, or not to n, composer's dilemma.
To o, or to it, owl's dilemma.
To p, or not to p, (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Ftoliot%2F4.gif&hash=d1df33dc30523330aff539d0ebf1eea7)
To q, or not to q, bus passengers' dilemma.
To r, or not to r, guide's dilemma.
To s, or not to s, chiropodist's dilemma.
To t, or not to t, fruit's dilemma.
To u, or not to u, Ram's dilemma.
To v, or not to v, auctioneer's dilemma.
To w, or not to w, mathematician's dilemma.
To x, or not to x, breakfast's dilemma.
To y, or not to y, inquisitor's dilemma.
I've z and I shall zay no more.
-
'Er indoors broke the heel off her shoe the other day, so she took it to the cobblers to be healed.
Over the door was a royal crest and the legend 'By Appointment, Cobblers to the Queen'. Would that constitute treason? Could he have his tongue cut out for not being in step with popular notions? Has he reached the upper limit? Should we take out his eyes for not toeing the line? Would he realise if he were first laced with vodka? What would be the last thing he would ever see? Call the police, quickly, to deal with this man, get that famous detective Slipper (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Slipper) of the Yard to investigate.
Does this very nearly cap it all? I hope you can read it all, I should hate to have to revamp it.
Wow! I hereby nominate Don as a shoe-in for this award below!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.saferoutestoschool.ca%2Fgallery%2Fgallery%252FWalking_is_Fun%252FIWALK06-GoldenShoe.JPG&hash=a9aa7110fe7ae9632d719d474fbee020)
-
Maybe he should get the boot [;D]
-
Maybe he should get the boot [;D]
And for Geezer's pun above, he gets THIS award!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.crystalimagesinc.com%2Fboot_mx07.jpg&hash=1f2438e6a7b458909bd608137a939768)
(Sorry, Geezer, but I could only find 2 left feet [;D] )
-
To p, or not to p, (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Ftoliot%2F4.gif&hash=d1df33dc30523330aff539d0ebf1eea7)
oooooooo...urine trouble now!
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.crystalimagesinc.com%2Fboot_mx07.jpg&hash=1f2438e6a7b458909bd608137a939768)
(Sorry, Geezer, but I could only find 2 left feet [;D] )
Canadians wouldn't care aboot that.
-
Eh?
-
Did you know the UK has the eh, eh, while the US has the eh, eh, eh, eh?
-
Did you know the UK has the eh, eh, while the US has the eh, eh, eh, eh?
hee hee
-
Did you know the UK has the eh, eh, while the US has the eh, eh, eh, eh?
hee hee
No, eh eh, are you dyslek dislecks dissleksyc Oh bugger it!
-
Have you heard The Dyslexics Battle Cry?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Dyslexics Untie!!"
-
They always fly on Untidy Airlines too.
-
They always fly on Untidy Airlines too.
Still better than GWA (Geezer World Airways)...(flight attendant required training as exemplified below)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.creators.com%2Feditorial_cartoons%2F14%2F3777_image.gif&hash=d650aba840bdde9ae0ca90f71d207322)
No doubt they're all on their way to Tahiti...(island owned by Geezer & Co.)
-
Take heart. Valentine's Day is coming soon.
-
Take heart. Valentine's Day is coming soon.
I suppose ay orta know that.
-
That's bloody pumping it!
-
That's bloody pumping it!
Most appropriate for the St Valentine's Day (massacre).
-
I always get a stack of bloody cards on Valentines day, no really, I'm not just being vein.
-
I always get a stack of bloody cards on Valentines day, no really, I'm not just being vein.
Its true, I tell you, I am so handsome I am know locally as Papillon. When I was younger I was known as caterpillary.
-
Its true, I tell you, I am so handsome I am know locally as Papillon. When I was younger I was known as caterpillary.
I didn't think you were that vein. Artery, I thought you were quite modest.
-
I wish I could've bypassed my surgery last year. Five different ways! But at least they were open about it. And they
rushed me to politely and diplomatically, er, ignored me when I said, "Have a heart! Where's the emergency???"
People need to make more room for differences of opinion.
-
I always get a stack of bloody cards on Valentines day, no really, I'm not just being vein.
Perhaps people thought they were sending cards to Don_1 DeMarco.
-
You may have hit de marc on target there!
-
There's a murmur going around you had heart problems in the past Demo. I hope you'll be OK in the suture.
-
Its true, I tell you, I am so handsome I am know locally as Papillon. When I was younger I was known as caterpillary.
I didn't think you were that vein. Artery, I thought you were quite modest.
Have you been hacking in to my e-cards? (Card e hack).
-
Card e hack??? Why, <sputter> that's illegal!! It could lead to an arrest!!
-
Arrest???? Yes, actually I could do with a rest.(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fsleeping%2F9.gif&hash=49a075fe545173e6a232819362e25198)
-
There's a murmur going around you had heart problems in the past Demo. I hope you'll be OK in the suture.
Thanks, Don! These days it's no more than heartburn for me!
-
Arrest???? Yes, actually I could do with a rest.(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fsleeping%2F9.gif&hash=49a075fe545173e6a232819362e25198)
And a rest is history.
-
Oooo, I do like his story at bed time.
-
Arrest???? Yes, actually I could do with a rest.(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fsleeping%2F9.gif&hash=49a075fe545173e6a232819362e25198)
NO! Irish stew in the name of the law.
-
But I thought you were Scottish!
-
OK.
Haggis in the name of the law.
(hmmm???)
-
OK.
Haggis in the name of the law.
(hmmm???)
OK. You win.
Speaking of the law, do lawyers wear law suits?
-
You guys are punny; your remarks bring hearty laughs.
Did you hear about the Chinese lawyer? Her name is Sue Yu. [;D]
-
Well My lawyer is I.P. Freely and he can really put the fire out if Ker-choo's, and Sue's Me!
-
OK.
Haggis in the name of the law.
(hmmm???)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing021.gif&hash=44605df69e1507c3ed4d235c15c22e92) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) I like it!
-
Chinese? Yes I have, that's why I always wear long trousers, to keep them covered up.
-
Speaking of the law, do lawyers wear law suits?
Yes, and they wear briefs under them.
-
You guys are punny; your remarks bring hearty laughs.
Did you hear about the Chinese lawyer? Her name is Sue Yu. [;D]
I worked with her! She's excellent. Her telephone number is still ** 1-800-LETS-SUE
** 0800 in the UK
-
Well My lawyer is I.P. Freely and he can really put the fire out if Ker-choo's, and Sue's Me!
[;D]
-
I use the old law firm of Dewey, Cheetham, and Howe.
-
Do you know what happens when you combine The Godfather with a lawyer?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
You get an offer you can't understand.
-
What's hard to understand is why the man who went for surgery to have a gangrenous leg removed can't sue his doctor for cutting off the wrong leg, then having to go back and remove the one he was supposed to remove in the first place. His lawyer was Sue Yu and she told him he didn't have a leg to stand on in court.
-
What do you call the person with no arms and no legs
in the bushes? Russell
in the ditch? Phil
on the wall? Art
on the eastern horizon? Dawn
on the floor? Matt
who's an exercise fanatic? Jim
-
OK.
Haggis in the name of the law.
(hmmm???)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing021.gif&hash=44605df69e1507c3ed4d235c15c22e92) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) I like it!
OK, then, Don. Dig in!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fdde69d07.jpg&hash=ded28c9522c58aac1fcd50a80263c2b4)
-
I use the old law firm of Dewey, Cheetham, and Howe.
Howe Dewey meet them?
-
Employ Messers Bojjit & Leggit (Property Maintainence) Inc. and they(The Eh! Team) will find you.
"Ah Hello, I'm Julle and this is my friend Sand" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0I408B1jiw&feature=related)
-
Only 63 days left till April Fool's Day. Hope everyone's prepared!
-
Only 63 days left till April Fool's Day. Hope everyone's prepared!
Oh, you mean Tax day! I get mine prepared by a CPA.
-
I heard your CPA enjoys his work, figuratively speaking.
-
SHE has good figures.
-
Yes she does! And as CPA for a restaurant, she has to be especially sure the books are not cooked.
-
Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
-
Are Rotarians just sectarians by another name?
-
Are Rotarians just sectarians by another name?
Certainly you must be referring to the insect affinity group, International Fellowship of Cricket Loving Rotarians
www.rotarycricket.org/
-
Whoops! It's the sport Cricket, not the insect! Oh, well. [:I]
-
You mean to say cricket's a sport? I thought it was mass hypnosis.
-
You mean to say cricket's a sport? I thought it was mass hypnosis.
That's just not cricket to say.
-
At Naked Science Forum we have so many threads, why aren't there more tailors???
-
I don't think it suits them.
-
[;D] [;D] [;D]
-
At Naked Science Forum we have so many threads, why aren't there more tailors???
I don't think it suits them.
My local dry-cleaner has a dozen suits in court.
-
People are determined to remain silent, to say the least.
-
You have the right to silence, and if you give up this right we will be forced to listen to you ad nauseum, ad infinitium and of course till the cows come home.
-
Good pun [;D]
-
Silence? I'll give you silence
-
Silence? I'll give you silence.
Which one? A silent movie? Golden silence? A deafening silence? A broken silence? A suffering in silence?
Inquiring minds wanna know!
-
.
-
[;D] [;D] [;D]
-
A Blinding Silence!
-
-
.
A Blinding Silence!
Maybe because Geezer lost his Status as Anecdotal Physicist??
Anyway...did you hear about the two seeing eye dogs that went on a blind date?
-
I love that song, thanks, Sean. There was a good sound reason to post that.
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Glad I could make an impression on you, I thought that this sounded best for the occasion.
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Sean, you sound a little hoarse. I hope you don't feel a colt coming on.
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Hardly a colt, possibly a little hair of the dog will help, if not then I will have to try some other remedy or some other melody.
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An echo in my past....wonderful song of silence......
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A two enjoyments for one posting special that was, thank you Karen!
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An echo in my past....wonderful song of silence......
A two enjoyments for one posting special that was, thank you Karen!
What?? Can you repeat that??
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Hardly a colt, possibly a little hair of the dog will help, if not then I will have to try some other remedy or some other melody.
Careful, Sean, lest the melody keeps on playing until it becomes a strain!
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Hardly a colt, possibly a little hair of the dog will help, if not then I will have to try some other remedy or some other melody.
Careful, Sean, lest the melody keeps on playing until it becomes a strain!
I know it's hard, but will you try to refrain yourself, and refrain from making similar remarks in future.
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So, shall we refrain from making this a refrain?
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Hardly a colt, possibly a little hair of the dog will help, if not then I will have to try some other remedy or some other melody.
Careful, Sean, lest the melody keeps on playing until it becomes a strain!
I know it's hard, but will you try to refrain yourself, and refrain from making similar remarks in future.
So, shall we refrain from making this a refrain?
Refrain? Of chorus we will!
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Did you hear about the cross-eyed schooteacher?
She had trouble with her pupils.
Every time she cried, the tears ran down the back of her neck.
That gave her bacteria.
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Did you hear about the cross-eyed schooteacher?
She had trouble with her pupils.
Yes, one of her pupils was suspended for cheating after eyeing another pupil's exam sheet!
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Did you hear about the cross-eyed schooteacher?
She had trouble with her pupils.
Every time she cried, the tears ran down the back of her neck.
That gave her bacteria.
I bet that got up her humps. Maybe she was a bacterian?
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg706.imageshack.us%2Fimg706%2F2765%2Fbacterian.png&hash=e9543bbedc18ff76c85ff0a81c38a933)
This one?
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Every time she cried, the tears ran down the back of her neck.
That gave her bacteria.
I thought that was the back door to a cafeteria!
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Speaking of doors....there is only one way to open the door and that is the key.
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I don't like skinny keys or fat keys, but I don't mind keys which are a little chubby.
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I say put the chubby keys on a diet. Fat chance they'll do it?
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These days, I'd be happy with a little chubby.
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These days, I'd be happy with a little chubby.
I hope Mrs Geezer doesn't see that, you might have trouble explaining yourself.
I hear Yale University is relockating it's school of carpentry to Florida's Key West. They hope to teach students how to make the perfect mortice and tennon joint.
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These days, I'd be happy with a little chubby.
[:o] [;D] [::)] [:o] [;D] [::)]
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I hear Yale University is relockating it's school of carpentry to Florida's Key West. They hope to teach students how to make the perfect mortice and tennon joint.
What? Are you operating on all cylinders??? Teaching students how to make a superior combination of mortice and tennon joints will be addressed by Yale University's keynote speaker, who will unlock the secret to the school of carpentry's success, that is, a much more suitable relockation to Woodmere, Long Island, New York! Even the President's Cabinet has approved the idea.
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Even the President's Cabinet has approved the idea.
Woody like me to be a guest cabinet speaker?
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Woody ever! But you're in enough trouble already with your chubby and now your woody...
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Even the President's Cabinet has approved the idea.
Woody like me to be a guest cabinet speaker?
Yes, indeed e wood.
You must address the chair of the cabinet, whereupon you may table a motion. Be careful not to go against the grain, theses people are knot to be trifled with. They pine for the unaccustomed speaker.
Should your motion be carpeted, you can cushion the effect. you must display unity, but know where to drawer the line.
If your wife wishes to be present, I shall be happy to joiner and will be pleased to furnish you with more tips and help you polish your speach (or spapricot) if required.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fcarpenter_gift_mousepad-p144121816510487956trc6_152.jpg&hash=25fe07f318f5298ba86203688d704107)
Once again, Don walks away with an Excellence Award!
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How kind, nice to know my lunacy does not go unnoticed.
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How kind, nice to know my lunacy does not go unnoticed.
This is sick, but the only one I could come up with. The frog went unnoticed in the milkshake because it blended so well.
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These days, I'd be happy with a little chubby.
[:o] [;D] [::)] [:o] [;D] [::)]
And let's not forget The Chubby Award for Geezer!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fprofile.ak.fbcdn.net%2Fhprofile-ak-snc4%2Fhs342.snc4%2F41571_122447097772719_1485_n.jpg&hash=39c7e9281671479d8f49eb2576c2cc1c)
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How kind, nice to know my lunacy does not go unnoticed.
This is sick, but the only one I could come up with. The frog went unnoticed in the milkshake because it blended so well.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.anchoredbygrace.com%2Fsmileys%2Fsheildsmile.gif&hash=e1f56a806dbaef87739aef5e02e4d59a) A pun, a pun, my Kingdom for a pun.
Or should that be a horse?
[ Invalid Attachment ]
"Horse", I said, deaf head.
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I'm hearse, too, I hope it's not a colt.
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I'm hearse, too, I hope it's not a colt.
It could be if you've been coffin a lot. BTW, do undertakers have to go to a lot of rehearsals?
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Geezer, that's a terrible cough you've got. Consumption be done about it?
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I'm hearse, too, I hope it's not a colt.
If you're manely horse it's a cinch to trot over to the centaur of town and get some colt medication, unless you want to just ride it out. If you have hayfever you might wish for rein.
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How do you know he's not a centaur then?
Because he ain't half hoarse.
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Are we to be saddled with a herd of equine puns?
I must be off now, I have a bit of work to do, but first I'm going to have some toast with maple stirrup which I shall ram down my gullet. Hope it doesn't give me the trots!!! The last thing I need is to be constantly going for a pony! I'm looking forward to some unbridled passion tonight.
I do hope it doesn't rein while I'm about my business.
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I'm hearse, too, I hope it's not a colt.
If you're manely horse it's a cinch to trot over to the centaur of town and get some colt medication, unless you want to just ride it out. If you have hayfever you might wish for rein.
Donnah isn't horsing around here, she's serious! Don, Geezer, and Sean are too, but they've just been hogging horsing too many awards, so this one's for Donnah!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fappaloosablogspot.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2008%2F11%2Fironhorseaward.jpg&hash=4297d2ebca9367a95a29ba49a19582bd)
Besides, no one is superior here. We're all equus.
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Two posts in a row? Isn't that gelding the lily a bit?
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Oi! Where's me post?
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Well there's a turn up, Geezer. Looks like Demo has been postnapping. Has he sent you a ransom note?
Your posts are OK but you will never see them again unless you do as I say. You will get your instructions soon. Do not contact the Fuzz or you will never see them again |
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Yep, no doubt about it, you have to hand it to Donnah, she's the main man (well, woman actually).
But I see Demo hoof only given her a bronze award. Hi ho! Silver should have been awarded.
Fetch locks to secure said award until the ceremony. I shall look after the key..... Yup, it will be a Don Key. I shall also arrange the seating so we can all sit our asses down while the town mare presents the award.
I was going to put a piece of ribbon around the award, but can't find my scissors, I cantear some off if that would be OK.
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Look! There's Don, bringing Donnah's award to her! Thanks, Don!
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Thanks Keemosabies!
The bronze looks manely like my hair. Silver's mouth is open (appropriate). I'd like to pack a 6 shooter like my great-grampa (Tom Sawyer) used to. The mask could hide some of the wrinkles I've earned in my golden years.
Hi ho Silver, I'm going away!
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Fetch locks to secure said award until the ceremony. I shall look after the key..... Yup, it will be a Don Key. I shall also arrange the seating so we can all sit our asses down while the town mare presents the award.
Is Demo giving out the award in Sam Pam's Disco? Has he arranged to have the award presented by the Bay Mayor?
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Geezer, Don is key, so he's been assigned the task of awarding Donnah.
The mare of Sam Pam's Disco will be kept at bay.
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Is Demo giving out the award in Sam Pam's Disco? Has he arranged to have the award presented by the Bay Mayor?
Well I've herd that the old Bay Mayor, she ain't what she used to be. Seems she bridles when saddled with too much horsing around. I realize that's a blanket statement, but I've got to race, so at the post, I'm off.
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Trotting off again, Donnah, such a busy life keeps you racing I bet! But don't rush around too much, and be thorough about the bred you eat. And too much racing around can lead to leg cramps, like a charley horse.
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Do undertakers have to go to a lot of rehearsals?
Everyone got plastered for the Beethoven rehearsal. It was the bottom of the Ninth, chorus tight, basses loaded.
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What bar did they start at?
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It was in Alaska. A polar bar.
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Not the Alaskan Polar Bar! That's a real grizzly place. They only sell brown ale, you can't even get a Coca Koala there!
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Neigh, Neigh, Don, bear with me for just a moment!
The Alaskan Polar Bar has changed. So please get your bearings.
I know what you're thinking: If you saw a bear foot in the woods it would give you paws for concern.
Think instead of the old saw, "If you can't bear the heat, then get the hell out of the kitchen!"
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Oh sbare me the old proverbs please.
Last I herd the place was still so rough you have to sign a disclaimer claws before they'll let you in.
I commented on the originality of sawdust on the floor. "Sawdust! Sawdust?" said the bareman* "That's not sawdust, that's last night's furniture!" The mob then pelted me strawbearies.
*He was in the nude and apparantly suffers from bipolar dissorder.
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Oh yes, you're right. I do remember Teddy, the Alaskan Polar Bar bareman. He could barely keep his clothes on, but by all accounts a beary nice guy!
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Speaking of clothing, has anyone ever had a Clothes Encounter?
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Only once. It was in the Bearing Sea, off Alaska.
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That's near the Russian Bear!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F_Z-DEoN3ydt4%2FSNaAF5sOYxI%2FAAAAAAAAAN4%2FyGtGmrvblG0%2Fs400%2FRussian%2BBear.jpg&hash=081677364230d640dda961fb3a39e0ab)
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I hear tell that was suppossed to be close to where the next asstroid should come down bearing that all the bear facts have been calculated to the most precise asspects of trajectory...
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Karen, that was bearilliant reporting, thank you!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fusa.stockfood.com%2Fimages-pictures%2FWoman%2520licking%2520an%2520ice%2520cream-403246.jpg&hash=24247a340d11b5afe6dbfcee2ef8ea08)
NewsFlash! Karen gets Reporter Award for being at an ice cream store getting the scoop.
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Speaking of clothing, has anyone ever had a Clothes Encounter?
Yes inded I have and would like to hear of any other such clothes shaves, so sock it to me.
Shall I tell you about it? (pants in anticipation)
I had been working on the Egyptian finds sponsored by Lord Cardigan. It was getting late and I had had enough of work, so I thought I would jacket in for the day. On my way home I decided to skirt around the town. Traffic was still heavy and drivers were getting shirty. 'Button your lip' I said to one as he zipped up the hard shoulder pad. Just then I saw a jumper on the bridge, so I put my boot down. He looked laced with booze. I continued gown down the road until I reached Bromley By Bow, where my need for a visit to the loo got almost too much to bare. I thought I would have to tie a knot in it. I stopped and went to the loo. Upon my return a copper felt my collar. "Ello, allo, ello, you can't park 'ere sur." He said.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fangry2%2F11.gif&hash=ef77c6e2d50d42acd17192a634104bfe) Oi! Button your lip, you old fool.
But...... but....... but the vest is yet to come.
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Gus Albert didn't show up, so Don proudly claims the Award!!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fangry2%2F11.gif&hash=ef77c6e2d50d42acd17192a634104bfe) Oi! Button your lip, you old fool.
That was a snappy reply!
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Oi! Where's me post?
Not sure, but we'll keep you posted.
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Probably was transferred to the round bit filing system...........
Or removed to the new popular board......./dev/null
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Sean, I'm not sure. I've been to the new popular board...../dev/null.
They insist that the only way to find Geezer's post is by contacting the post office.
Perhaps through your contacts, you know the Postmaster General?
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I do not know the PMG, but have asked one of his minions as to the POSiTion of the search for the post, and he replied that it was found, but that the post office it was in was a little slow, and the only postman that knew the POSiTion of the post in question was absent from his post, and that if he did not return soon the post would be declared vacant. If that is verified then the post in question would be untraceable and would probably end up at the dead letters office, where it's disPOSiTion would be hard to say.
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Sean, this is quickly becoming an imPOsSTible situation for Geezer!
Surely, he will now blame me for POSTulating the wrong formulae for retrieving it, and POsSTibly even have my photograph shown in each POST office for my heinous offense!
He might even "go postal" on me!!
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If you mofos don't knock it off PDQ, the only postal thing will be postmortem.
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mofos? I'm reporting you to Martha FoCor! (Forum Contributor)
PDQ? nah, just go Bach to what you were doing!
Postmortem? Don't be anal: over-analysis leads to paralysis!
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and immobility gets you nowhere.
Would anyone undertake searching the dead letter office for Geezer's mia post?
Karen's so cool! When I saw she got an award Icecreamed.
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This is National Sleep Awareness Week!
http://www.awarenessdates.com/2008/03/national-sleep-awareness-week.html
Doze anyone have a comment to make?
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Karen's so cool! When I saw she got an award Icecreamed.
Whew! I had to read that twice!
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This is National Sleep Awareness Week!
http://www.awarenessdates.com/2008/03/national-sleep-awareness-week.html
Doze anyone have a comment to make?
I wouldn't dream of it. It snore t my position to do so.
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It snore t my position to do so.
Well, since Christmas is only 300 days away...
As you know, it is very important for Santa and his reindeer to be very quiet when they deliver presents on Christmas Eve so no one will know they are there. One Christmas Eve Santa Claus landed on a rooftop and suddenly he heard a very loud, “Snort sniff honk honk snort!” coming from one of his reindeer. Since he was in the sleigh behind them, he didn’t know which one it was. It happened again, only louder this time. “Snort sniff honk honk snort!”
Dogs in the neighborhood began to bark. “Shhh!” Santa hissed. “Please be quiet!”
He went to work lifting the sack of toys out of the sleigh when he heard it again, only a lot louder this time. “SNORT SNIFF HONK HONK SNORT!” Lights came on all over the neighborhood and some people even stuck their heads out of their windows.
Santa was horrified. Jumping back into the sleigh, he drove quickly back to the North Pole. He lined up all the reindeer and announced, “We are not going to deliver another present until the reindeer who is making funny noises with his nose steps forward and apologizes!”
None of the reindeer stepped forward.
Santa held up a piece of paper. “I know who it is and I have written your name on this paper. But I want to give you a chance to do the right thing on your own.”
Still none of the reindeer came forward. So Santa did the only thing he could do. He read off the rude-nosed reindeer…
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Coming up March 17: St. Patrick's Day
I'm green with envy, I'm not Irish.
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[;D] [;D] [;D]
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I'm green with envy,
Who is this person named Envy you seem to be sharing your chameleonistic ways with?
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Envy and i are able to work that out.
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Who is this person named Envy you seem to be sharing your chameleonistic ways with?
I don't actually know, he is so cleverly chameflaged, disguys really good at it. And besides, how much can I really tell since we only once shared a Chame Milo T[ea]?
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Well since we are talking about tea for two, let's talk about the split personality of our March saint and how green became the color of the day. Did Pat bring yellow and rick bring blue into the mix?
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This is not a pun, it's a poem about the award-winning Karen
I see Karen W. and how she behaves
She's clever and witty in so many ways
And though I don't know her I sense she puts others first
Sharing water before quenching her thirst
Supportive, loving, and lending an ear
When those she loves have questions or fears
She smiles when she's happy, she smiles when she's sad
She smiles her way through both the good and the bad
And though you are modest, the human pillar you are
Touches those around you, the near and the far
And so, Lady Karen, you're that rare, special kind
So richly deserving your own turn to shine.
[;D]
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Donnah, that was truly beautiful! [:)]
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Everyone, Easter is coming soon!
My favorite rapper is the Easter bunny, he's really in to hip hop.
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Donnah, that was truly beautiful! [:)]
Thanks demo. Some people were nasty to me recently, so I responded with kindness, but not to the nasty pooheads, but to someone who deserves kindness. Karen donates her time as moderator, and so I picked her this time. I see it as a behaviour pun.
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I know what you mean, Donnah, some people are often on their pest behavior.
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Or is that behaviour?
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Would anyone undertake searching the dead letter office for Geezer's mia post?
I thought stray male would be taken to the animal shelter instead?
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Or is that behaviour?
The British spelling is behaviour, the American removes the U. Being Canadian, I fluctuate between them. Is that OK?
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Sure it is Ok to vacillate. I learned that at university.
Or was it thru adversity?
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Well there's more than one way to learn. Formal education gives us student loans, life experience brings us frequent groans.
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So THAT'S why they say he or she is now groan up.
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March is National Optimistic Month!
http://www.awarenessdates.com/2010/03/national-optimistic-month.html
And don't forget, those who study the moon are optimists. They look at the bright side.
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Does that make Pink Floyd pessimists?
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Yes, Donnah, all the Band members' blood type is b-negative.
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Bloody pessimists!
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Don't let it upset you, Donnah, we can still feel good about the fact that our top math students' blood type is A+.
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Does that mean most politicians and lawyers are O negative? Or maybe there's a new blood type: AH negative.
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When you get a transfusion in a Taiwanese hospital, do you receive Taipei blood???
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Does that mean most politicians and lawyers are O negative?
Was that a type-O ?
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Why? Are you calling me a liawyer?
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A liawyer? Tell me the truth, Donnah, did you - or did you not - walk on your lawn this morning and experience the dew process?
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Well, I was going to, but then I got cold feet. Canada + March = snow.
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You'll be just fine. For those who live in the land of ice it'snow problem.
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(Rae, the bear, should be sleeping. Photo taken from our dining room window.)
It is if you run around in bear feet and eat like a bird.
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Speaking of birds, ever wonder why birds with headaches just migraine south?
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Because they are bird brained?
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Let's savor that one for a moment!
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(Rae, the bear, should be sleeping. Photo taken from our dining room window.)
It is if you run around in bear feet and eat like a bird.
Rae is soooooooo cute. Do you feed him/her??
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Brain Awareness Week: March 20th is the last day!
http://www.dana.org/brainweek/
C'mon everyone, a pun about this should be a no-brainer!
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Much as I would love to develop a relationship with Rae, I don't, because if she is unafraid to approach people someone could misinterpret her intentions and shoot her. She obviously didn't eat enough to hibernate all winter, and she checks out the compost bin anyway, so anything I toss that she will eat, I set to one side so it doesn't get covered in coffee grounds. And the bread that doesn't rise might get slathered with a layer of grease before I put it out because she needs the calories. I don't want her to be dependant, but at this time of year there's little else she can get to eat. Within the next month her natural food supply should be much more abundant.
Brain Awareness Week! With an acronym like BAW, how can you go wrong? If you added His Awareness and Her Awareness you'd have BAW HA HA!
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As mostly a city boy all my life, your story from 'the wilderness' is soooooo amazing! I would ask my wife if we could adopt her, but she won't even tolerate cats and dogs (our Aby cat died at 17 - many years ago - and that was just too traumatic).
I like BAW HA HA, it's grown on me...
We're well into the last day of BAW HA HA, and I sense apathy...as well as indifference, and, also, a 'who cares' attitude....sigh...
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OK, everyone, you have time to redeem yourself, because tomorrow starts:
World Salt Awareness Week! (London, UK-based)
http://www.worldactiononsalt.com/
To double your punning pleasure, the Week is sponsored by WASH (World Action on Salt and Health).
Worried about how your pun will go over?
Just take it with a grain of salt.
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Fortunately my husband is an animal lover (we have a cat and a dog), and quite at home in the wilderness. Once we get a barn built we will get chickens, er, maybe eggs first, er chickens...now which was it that came first anyway, the chicken or the egg? [???]
Salt Awareness Week. I SAW that. [;D]
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Chicken or the egg!!!! [;D] You're curing my cold!
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I know you SAW that, but don't forget the WASH!
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Oh sure, just because I'm female, you talk aout the WASH like it's my responsibility, and then when I point out that women have brains (BAW HA HA), you tell me to take it with a grain of SALT. [;)]
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Hilarious, Donnah!!
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Can't help it, it's how my little brain works. Maybe I've been brainWASHed and asSALTed by an evil brainiac. BAW HA HA.
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Lazily re-posted from Page 1 of this thread:
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Can't help it, it's how my little brain works. Maybe I've been brainWASHed and asSALTed by an evil brainiac. BAW HA HA.
I think this one deserves The Punning Thread Salt Award...not to be taken grainily!
Speech!
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Ooooooooo, thank you, thank you. It's clear to me that this is a big shiny .....thing (a female technical term), even if it is a bit shakey.
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Shakey, perhaps, but not dicey. Enjoy this Award, you are the Salt of the Earth!
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And in just a little over a week, we can all raise our glasses, and share a toast to...
Alcohol Awareness Month!
http://www.healthfinder.gov/nho/aprtoolkit.aspx
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Ire illied own tunders tand thi splayonwards tuff!
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Did you konw taht as lnog as you keep the frsit and lsat lteetr of the wrod in palce, it deson't mteatr waht you do wtih the lterets in beweetn?
I wouldn't try it with antidisestablishmentarianism though.
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Or is that behaviour?
The British spelling is behaviour, the American removes the U. Being Canadian, I fluctuate between them. Is that OK?
As a fellow Canadian, I say we can fluctuate ALL we want!
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Sure it is Ok to vacillate. I learned that at university.
Or was it thru adversity?
Well it's probably University, but then adversity could... teach you, but I don't know I DO like the university theory, I guess I learned the lesson well, from adversity... or was it university.
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Daveman! Welcome to punning! Be extra-nice to Donnah, though, I can barely restrain her from unleashing The Power Of Rae <shudder> if you pun too badly!
Uh-oh, now I'm outnumbered! 2 Canadians: 1 Californian!!
Ire illied own tunders tand thi splayonwards tuff!
[;D]
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Daveman! Welcome to punning! Be extra-nice to Donnah, though, I can barely restrain her from unleashing The Power Of Rae <shudder> if you pun too badly!
She's liable to smack you with a leash if she catches you restraining her barely.
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OK, then...restraining her...clothely!
(thorry for the lithp)
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But don't get too clothes!
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With lines like that you might get hung out to dry. Especially after WASH week.
Hey, Canadian daveman, if we smoosh (another female technical term) your nationality and your name into one word it would be Caveman. What are you doing in Chile, spelunking? And is it warm in Chile?
I wonder what the demografx are for his website? How many Geezers, old_bobs, JimBobs, Bored chemists, and Don-1abies?
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Hey, Canadian daveman, if we smoosh (another female technical term) your nationality and your name into one word it would be Caveman. What are you doing in Chile, spelunking? And is it warm in Chile?
I got an A+ in Spelunking (and Granmar!), but in my college daze I done even bretter, masturing awl kindsa sdubjects!
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With lines like that you might get hung out to dry. Especially after WASH week.
NOW I understand what they mean about the wash and dry cycle.
And without a spin put on it!
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Donnah, I hope you saw my message!
Then it would look like this:
Donnah I hope .y.,
,.o.u saw my message
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As for AAM, in Canada we say "I AAM CANADIAN" eh. At least in the beer ads we do. Which brings me to another point. In beer ads why do they show so many boobs? They're selling beer, not milk.
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I guess it makes us thirsty eh!
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The name of the link says it all. Watch if you dare!
http://wn.com/Women_Crushes_Beer_Cans_With_Boob
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The name of the link says it all. Watch if you dare!
http://wn.com/Women_Crushes_Beer_Cans_With_Boob
No, no, I didn't go there, not at all.... but somehow I'm not thirsty anymore!
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[;D] [;D] [;D]
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Why is it that the feet smell and the nose runs?
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It said today in the newspaper that the two guys caught drinking battery acid will soon be charged!
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When my wife complained that the coffee tasted like mud I had to tell her
"Well what do you expect! It was ground just a few minutes ago!"
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What can be done with these words?
Vial, glasses, ash, cloak?
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Let's seee..
Please don't put the cloak bottles in the ash can, when the glasses wet it makes a vial smell!
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It said today in the newspaper that the two guys caught drinking battery acid will soon be charged!
I demand partial attribution, Dave!
The electrician was suspected of wiretapping once but was never charged.
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As for AAM, in Canada we say "I AAM CANADIAN" eh. At least in the beer ads we do. Which brings me to another point. In beer ads why do they show so many boobs? They're selling beer, not milk.
Rabbits like their beer brewed with a lot of hops.
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It said today in the newspaper that the two guys caught drinking battery acid will soon be charged!
I demand partial attribution, Dave!
The electrician was suspected of wiretapping once but was never charged.
So the current laws don't apply to electrical spies?
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As for AAM, in Canada we say "I AAM CANADIAN" eh. At least in the beer ads we do. Which brings me to another point. In beer ads why do they show so many boobs? They're selling beer, not milk.
Rabbits like their beer brewed with a lot of hops.
So they can crush cans without being boobs!
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Yikes, makes my back ache just to look at that woman's boobs. She couldn't ride, she'd beat the poor horse to death.
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Big breasted woman beats horse to death
"He wouldn't let me ride him", she says!
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Another headline mght read:
Lone woman rides two abreast!
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Yikes, makes my back ache just to look at that woman's boobs. She couldn't ride, she'd beat the poor horse to death.
Neigh! I have no more equestrian to give, Donnah!
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It's Harry Houdini's birthday, there's no escaping it!
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Well I don't want to get roped into it.
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Why not? You could teach me all about the rodeo!
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Don't tell me Donnah's from Calgary (biggest stampede in the world!)... my home town!
Hey, imagine our poor chesty on a brahama!!
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Did not click on the video, but have memories of a stripper called "Fat Annie" who used to work at a club called Airport. I did see her knock out a guy using only what nature gave her, and not her hands or feet. She took him off the stage with one blow, and he landed on the floor dazed for a few minutes. Those were a set of lethal weapons there, under a vest for sure until she started.
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I bet she was a knockout! And the guy seems like a real boob for starting in with her. There. Whew. Glad I got that off my chest...it's always breast to be cautious when you don't know someone, some people want revenge, they're not satisfied with just tit for tat.
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Don't tell me Donnah's from Calgary (biggest stampede in the world!)... my home town!
Hey, imagine our poor chesty on a brahama!!
Yep, I'm from Calgary (though I don't live there anymore) and I used to work as a cowgirl. So the Stampede City is your hometown too. Hmmmmm, you actually sound like a friend of mine, your language patterns are similar. Do you work in IT and does your wife's name start with E?
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Nope, not me.... but he must be a pretty cool guy! Living up there in the North that is!
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Don't tell me Donnah's from Calgary (biggest stampede in the world!)... my home town!
Yep, I'm from Calgary (though I don't live there anymore) and I used to work as a cowgirl. So the Stampede City is your hometown too.
Calgary? Isn't that where someone was crucified for all of our stampeding? And whoa to transgressors! Today, it's certainly Eternal Calgary Flames for those who don't repent for stop their stampeding ways!
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So the current laws don't apply to electrical spies?
I think Dave deserves to get a charge out of this Punning Award for that line.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flogos-vector.com%2Ftumbs%2F5%2F8%2F2%2F58233.png&hash=406f5a2b93dafa7505d6a6c43f2deee1)
(someone at Gold Medallion should brush up on their Elecrtric spelunking though)
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...have memories of a stripper called "Fat Annie" who used to work at a club called Airport.
Hm. Firsthand knowledge or hearsay? [;D]
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Presumably Annie walloped the guy with underarm mass?
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Let us just say that it was not me, but I was a witness, and the guy in question we will just call by his initial of "D". We went there as a part ( unofficial) of a tour of the facilities of a certain airline's maintenance operations, and had a few hours of spare time between the end of the tour and the official end of the lecture day, so the teachers went there for some entertainment, and took us along as a not totally unwilling group. Was in the good old days when the air was clean, shows like that were frowned on by the clergy ( and attended by a lot of them to get ideas or something else) and you could gain easy access to a lot of places as a plain member of the public.
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Man caught in crossfire as dancer clears her chest after frowning clergy interrupts important maintanence tour.
Mr. D. in critical but stable condition as hearing is regained in left ear.
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Presumably Annie walloped the guy with underarm mass?
Hm. The plot thickens.
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Presumably Annie walloped the guy with underarm mass?
Hm. The plot thickens.
Is that an adumbration to another part of the body?
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Underarm mass.
Adumbration? You mean some people aren't smart enough to read this???
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Not without my glasses.
Adumbration: (n) áddem-bráysh´n - reduction of intelligence as a result of poor vision.
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A dumb ration: a ration meant for less-than-smart-ones.
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This week is
National Tsunami Awareness Week
www.tsunami.gov
While this is a terribly sad time in Japan because of the tsunami, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but maybe humor can also help? I know, I know, puns are humor?...........
I now anticipate a huge wave of reaction to my post...
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What? Not even a watered-down reply yet???
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The tide washes way out first. This must be a biggy because it's really washed out!
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I'm hoping that your punchline will bring good tidings!
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Now this is a punchline!
[ Invalid Attachment ]
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I like hardhitting punchlines!
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April 1st came and went. Now I feel Foolish.
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April 1st came and went. Now I feel Foolish.
Why did she promise something, collect the money and run?
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You just can't trust those Springtime romances!
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Romance in the springtime, now close to six months away, with the cold of winter between now and then. The cold nights, having to use a single sheet to keep warm, having a warm shower instead of cold, icecream not melting in the cone before you can eat it...........
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Romance in the springtime, now close to six months away, with the cold of winter between now and then. The cold nights, having to use a single sheet to keep warm, having a warm shower instead of cold, icecream not melting in the cone before you can eat it...........
Mm, I love melted ice cream in my coffee.
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I love fresh cream coffee, milk straight from the cow, add coffee and then microwave until just boiling. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
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Drinking too much coffee can cause a latte problems.
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But lack of the magical brew causes me to turn into something that bears a strong resemblance to an ogre.............
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But lack of the magical brew causes me to turn into something that bears a strong resemblance to an ogre.............
Yes I get affected the beary same way!
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But lack of the magical brew causes me to turn into something that bears a strong resemblance to an ogre.............
Yes I get affected the beary same way!
Speaking of bears, how about some coffee and Donnah!
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I heard from the mysterious Donnah today, she can't bear to break away from the road, and is power-less with her computer.
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[;D] [;D] [;D]
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[;D] [;D] [;D]
Nice teeth, BioWizard! And welcome to our nuthouse!
A toothless termite walked into a tavern and said, "Is the bar tender here?"
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I'm having tea with friends who are well connected. What kind of tea? Why nut tea of course. I just couldn't bear not being around my punny friends.
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I'm having tea with friends who are well connected. What kind of tea? Why nut tea of course. I just couldn't bear not being around my punny friends.
Why is tea so therapeutic? Because boiling the water raises your self of steam.
We missed you, Donnah. Welcome back!
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[;D] [;D] [;D]
Nice teeth, BioWizard! And welcome to our nuthouse!
A toothless termite walked into a tavern and said, "Is the bar tender here?"
LOL! I know, this thread is like a nutsie thread! [;D]
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I thought nutsies wore swastikas!?
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I haven't had Swasteakas for a long time. Take a cheap cut steak and marinate for a day, then cook in the slow cooker. Voila, Swiss steakas.
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Slow cooker, where you throw it under the armpit. No need for salt!
Iiieeewww!
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I thought nutsies wore swastikas!?
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Was thinking of a cajun blackened pepper steak! A large sirloin, 1" thick, covered with a 1/8" layer of medium ground pepper (blown to remove the fine powder), fried to medium rare. Served with bacon bits stuffed potatoe skins topped with parmasan cheese! Oh, but where's the pun.... but who cares?
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Dave, don't worry that was not a misteak!
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I haven't had Swasteakas for a long time. Take a cheap cut steak and marinate for a day, then cook in the slow cooker. Voila, Swiss steakas.
You mean marinut?
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No Demo!! He means "Marry Nate" for a day, then cook him in the slow cooker! Talk about Spiders killing there mates!!! At least he will feast After he marries Nate!
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BTW, Karen, that was "she" not "he"... [:)]
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BTW, Karen, that was "she" not "he"... [:)]
Whoops You are correct my apologies to Donnah..... Yes indeed I thought it was Daveman's post...LOL even bigger mystic, I mean mistake!
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Mystic, lol!
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That's daveman, all right, our Very Own Mystic Of The Punning Thread. He reads palms, foretells the future and more!
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This is
Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness Month
www.aboutibs.org/site/about-ibs/april-ibs-awareness-month
I'm sure no one will dare make a pun about this!
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I know somebody with that...... She has to be careful what she eats, or else it requires a large truck, with a reefer unit on it, just to keep the toilet paper ( double ply or triple) cool. That and a quick fill cistern.
You could say that at times she is glued to the throne, or hovers above it a little.
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A reefer unit? I just learned something new!
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This is
Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness Month
www.aboutibs.org/site/about-ibs/april-ibs-awareness-month
I'm sure no one will dare make a pun about this!
Well, just don't get sick at the airport. It could be a terminal illness.
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Reefer, a refrigerated trailer, not what the dim memories of your long past youth are thinking Demo...................
Though I will admit that having a moment at the airport can be a long wait, if not a long drop.
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...not what the dim memories of your long past youth are thinking Demo...
No need for jealousy, Sean, one day you may attain Wisdom as well. [;D]
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Wisdom, coming from experience, coming from making bad choices, which leads to grey hair, or no hair, or something like that.
Got the grey, but not Narcissus yet.
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Who's the bald narcissist with a reefer?
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This is
Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness Month
www.aboutibs.org/site/about-ibs/april-ibs-awareness-month
I'm sure no one will dare make a pun about this!
I see much Do-Do about nothing in the future, so don´t get your colin in a knot!
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Who's the bald narcissist with a reefer?
He gave it up for Lent 18 yrs ago.
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This is
Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness Month
www.aboutibs.org/site/about-ibs/april-ibs-awareness-month
I'm sure no one will dare make a pun about this!
I see much Do-Do about nothing in the future, so don´t get your colin in a knot!
That's Powell, not bowel!! [;D]
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This is
Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness Month
www.aboutibs.org/site/about-ibs/april-ibs-awareness-month
I'm sure no one will dare make a pun about this!
I see much Do-Do about nothing in the future, so don´t get your colin in a knot!
That's Powell, not bowel!! [;D]
NO, it's knot with Baden Powell.
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Reefer, a refrigerated trailer, not what the dim memories of your long past youth are thinking Demo...................
Though I will admit that having a moment at the airport can be a long wait, if not a long drop.
Well, that's where a good reefer comes in handy.
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Who's the bald narcissist with a reefer?
The one on the john at the airport!
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National Children’s Mental Health Awareness Week
Starts tomorrow - May 1!
http://www.ffcmh.org/events/national-childrens-mental-health-awareness-week/
I wonder if this was set up and specifically intended for the members of this Punning thread?......
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This is
Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness Month
www.aboutibs.org/site/about-ibs/april-ibs-awareness-month
I'm sure no one will dare make a pun about this!
I see much Do-Do about nothing in the future, so don´t get your colin in a knot!
That's Powell, not bowel!! [;D]
NO, it's knot with Baden Powell.
Oh, you're just scouting around for a clever comeback.
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National Childrens Mental Health Awareness Week
Starts tomorrow - May 1!
http://www.ffcmh.org/events/national-childrens-mental-health-awareness-week/
I wonder if this was set up and specifically intended for the members of this Punning thread?......
And what if my bowel is still in a knot?
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I bet it's knot.
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If your stomach is in a knot, yet you know it is not totally knotted, then it is not unlikely that you are head over heels in love, is it not?
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If your stomach is in a knot, yet you know it is not totally knotted, then it is not unlikely that you are head over heels in love, is it not?
Now that's just naughty!
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It is, is it not?
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Knot so.
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I'm afrayed knot, but at least I'm not afraid Dave.
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I'm afrayed knot, but at least I'm not afraid Dave.
However you wouldn't be as strong as before then!
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I'm afrayed knot, but at least I'm not afraid Dave.
Sean deserves a Punning Award for this! His prize - next time he is in Nashville - is a 1%-off discount on any brand of Club Soda served - at the bar only- at the World Famous Establishment below! Offer expires May 3, 2011, so no rush!
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Is this what they mean by Cinco de Mayo????
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You call that processed oil emulsion Mayo? Not an egg in sight, and nothing in it that is not GM.
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General Motors????
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No, not Government Motors, but that funny stuff served up be a certain corporation that likes to sue farmers where the patented pollen blows on the wind.
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National Doughnut Week - UK
May 7th through May 14th
http://www.nationaldoughnutweek.org/
I can't find any holes in the argument for supporting this worthy cause!
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Donut be discouraged if you haven't much to give, every little cruller counts!
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This should be a jam filled weekend for you then!
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I wish I could turn the clock back and jam with Jelly Roll Morton.
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If you like Red Hot Peppers with you donuts I'll have to give you a Black Bottom Stomp....
And the Red Hot Chili Peppers thought they were original!!
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No, not Government Motors, but that funny stuff served up be a certain corporation that likes to sue farmers where the patented pollen blows on the wind.
Do you mean that MonSatano company? Fits that they would have Red Hot Chili Peppers too. Nobody's cruller than them.
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[;D] Donnah [;D]
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Do inmates talk on cell phones?
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Yes they do Donnah, but if the inmates are all taken to a supervised beach outing they are not permitted to use call wading.
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Sometimes life's a bit of a beach.
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So you want me to go to the beach with you? I'm not shore I can make it.
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Then just wave. [;D]
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Yes, I instinctively wave at people, Donnah, and it's a natural hi.
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Now water you lot nattering about? I really can't sea, is it some current trend?
You shouldn't go in the sea, its filthy because the sea weed. (Hehehe, the old ones are the oldest!)
Last time I was by the sea, 'er indoors told me to prepare myself for my picture to be taken, to which I retorted, 'Pose? I? Don?'
I used to like Aker Bilk's 'Stranger on the Shore' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cEr4CCtllA). Nonchalantly walks off whistliN' ep tune.
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I sea the pun-meister has returned!!!
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Oh, Don, I'm really not sure the water in your area is healthy? Yes, we only have well water.
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well water you make of these five words?
faint, bacon, lava, bra, feat
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I faint if my bacon is not burnt to a crisp, hot as lava.
A dyslexic man walked into a bra...THAT was a feat!
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well water you make of these five words?
faint, bacon, lava, bra, feat
Fred was in dire straights, defeat stared him in de face, so did de toes and de ankles. Meanwhile, bacon the farm, I was having more luck. “Bravo”, the crowd shouted, as I wrestled Lara Croft’s mammary support garment to the ground. Fay Dunaway rushed to my assistance and the crowd gasped “Fay aint gonna help him, is she?” We were in hysterics, lava? I almost cried.
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Is that it? Are we all out of puns? Could this be the end of the 'pun' as we know it?
Dare I say 'pun' full stop, period, en punto?
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Oh, Don!
Don't make such a theatrical performance about puns.
Just because they are a play on words!
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Curses, upstaged again!!!
However, you were a little slow in your response. Kindly be more prompt in the future.
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Curses, upstaged again!!!
However, you were a little slow in your response. Kindly be more prompt in the future.
Prompt? You do mean prop, don't you, as in stage prop?
Hmm. For some reason, this all somehow reminds me of the shy stripper who couldn't bare it on stage.
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Prompt? You do mean prop, don't you, as in stage prop?
Put simply (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InTAt2hI_kg&feature=related)
I was going back to the old days before idiot boards (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/idiot_board)
Hmm. For some reason, this all somehow reminds me of the shy stripper who couldn't bare it on stage.
I engaged her for the show, they told me she was a Pole Dancer, turned out she was a ballerina from Poland!
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From Poland? So am I.
And ballerinas are really kept on their toes, so I don't see the problem!
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Prompt? You do mean prop, don't you, as in stage prop?
Put simply (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InTAt2hI_kg&feature=related)
[;D] [;D] [;D]
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So you like ballet also also(too too)!
I am not overly keen on the Nutcracker. But to get back to the ballet.....
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From Poland? So am I.
And ballerinas are really kept on their toes, so I don't see the problem!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpoleart.org%2FImages%2FHeaderDancer.gif&hash=485ca3db3ef1cf93f8ea8df96dcb4e62)
I see she is in pole position.
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Oh, Don, Don, Don,
That was a pole pun.
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So you like ballet also also(too too)!
I am not overly keen on the Nutcracker. But to get back to the ballet.....
I can't. I have a high glycemic index, and my doctor told me to cut back on the Suites.
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National Columnists Day: Today, June 28
http://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/columnists-day/
Newspapers are a huge part of our society and daily life; Columnists Day celebrates the work of the people who research, write and produce our newspapers.
I hope Don or someone reports how the day went or at least keeps a journal of what went on.
But I'm sure Don has more pressing needs to attend to.
No need to edit this post, it was spell-checked and proofed.
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There will be prizes for the top 4 columnists. No prizes for any fifth column.
During the day there will be an organised 'Spot the Origami Rodent' game which has been aptly entitled 'Paper Rat See'. Winners will get a giant scoop of Peanuts in a bag.
There will also be a chance to take a swipe at any politician or celebrity in a game called The 'ed 'itter. All guests will be expected to maintain good circulation.
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We talked about this post directly above, Don, but frankly, I'm shocked that you would publish it!
Well my younger son just graduated college, so I'm glad he didn't get any 'ink' (inkompletes ) on any of his courses .
He had way too many papers to write!
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So you like ballet also also (too too)!(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpose7fashion.files.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F01%2F17mila_5.jpg&hash=7263e5fa8af0cc1a796cc3563a14eb53)
mod edit
Oh, tut, Tut, King Don, we all know you just want an excuse to play golf on election day and cast an absent-tee ballot.
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You may tut most of all, but as pharaohs I'm concerned, it was a valid reason. I don't want to ram esees down your throat, but I nefer tiree of a quick round, aN ile always take the opportunity agmemnon and agmemnon. I's is just that way inclined and am set in my ways. So far as I see it, it's them hor us and they tend to takelot for granted.
Ku fuh or anyone else ptolemy where I can fit Cleopatra into this? I would be hapy to learn hat or anything else.
Ooo look, 'er indoors has made coffee, she's a bit of a nut you know, but I thank her anyway. "Ptah very much, now shu." I wish she would become a nun.
Now I must take my leave of you becosiris going to get my head around anubisness I thoth I would start, or I'll nefer get it off the ground. Oh, and before you ask, no, its not a pyramid scam.
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I've just sold one of my paintings. "HorRah", the buyer shouted, "that's the bast I've ever seen."
They have now asked me if ah kan arten their drab walls.
I knew my punability wouldn't desert me.
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Personally, Don, I think you're in de Nile.
It's only yourself who is getting e-gypped (on the Internet)
You know, hiS AND "her" towels don't fit here, but the S AND does!
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Cleo patranized the woman in the science forum when she said "Cam el of you to my comedy show and learn how it's done because your humor sphinx: all exscept 'ers."
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Yes, Donnah, Cleo's patronizing reminds me of the time soon after Sir Lancelot moved to Egypt, when he opened his very successful Used Camel Lot!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthemediablog.typepad.com%2F.a%2F6a011570c131b2970c014e5f2db9e7970c-pi&hash=95b3935f013e9a21fee0d72f739b687e)
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Cinco de Mayo is celebrated on May 5.
So was yesterday Cinco de Julio?
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Oh, tut, Tut, King Don...
You may tut most of all...
At least we have Tut in khommon.
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Oh, tut, Tut, King Don...
You may tut most of all...
At least we have Tut in khommon.
I like that one from you tomb me.
I am quite surprised that Geezer (GIZA) hasn't had his two sheckles worth here yet. Me sphynx he must be all out of puns.
When Egypt built the dam across the Nile, they came up with the name for it when an onlooker said, "Cor! Aswan 'ell of a dam".
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Is this another Egyptian Riddle from Don? If I can't figure it out, it ruins my day!
So to feel better, I watch reruns of Dynasty on TV.
Or visit the Empire State Building in NYC.
But I don't have the Luxory of just wandering aimlessly in the desert year after year...
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I don't know all these Yangt zey think it's all about the Egytptians! One might think, Qin Hi Huang for saying that, Zhou bet!
Im perialously close to someone trying to sui me! People might, i bet, take this to heart. In a way I undertangd [:D]
Hand on heart were I not joking I WuHud feel the same.... [;D]
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You must know my friend Won Hung Lo, he's a little embarrassed about his physique...
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Oh, tut, Tut, King Don...
You may tut most of all...
At least we have Tut in khommon.
I like that one from you tomb me.
[;D] [;D] [;D]
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When I went to our local Chinese restaurant, I said I would have soup for a starter.
"Won Ton?" Asked the waiter. I retorted, "A small bowl will be quite sufficient."
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At least you didn't ask for a superbowl! [;D]
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When I went to our local Chinese restaurant, I said I would have soup for a starter.
"Won Ton?" Asked the waiter. I retorted, "A small bowl will be quite sufficient."
I once took alphabet won ton (small bowl was insufficient) soup with me on vacation.
I packed it in my upper case.
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Well, that's just the type of person you are. Were you all keyed up when you eat it?
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Yes. Yes I was, because I like it sooooo much: yes, I'm very font of alphabet soup.
But I'm a good type. Like Gutenberg. He was a good type, even when pressed.
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..... Gutenberg. He was a good type, even when pressed.
I heard, on the grape vine, he wouldn't stop whining.
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Hey, the Grape Vine, isn't that where Tarzan works?
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Tarzan? Yes he worked there, not exactly a barrel of laughs though, was he, and a right plonka to boot.
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The first time I tasted wine I had a blanc stare on my face.
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National Ventriloquism Week - starts today!
http://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/ventriloquism-week/
Don't be a dummy and throw your voice away!
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I tried to throw my voice away once, thankfully it just slipped through my fingers! [B)]
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National Ventriloquism Week - starts today!
http://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/ventriloquism-week/
A reporter from the Daily Blurb said "I haven't a clue who's saying what!"
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Too much wine can make your Jacobs Creek.
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You can't hold your liquor. Wine not?
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If you're always complaining about something, shouldn't you have some cheese with your whine?
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Isn't punning a whine and cheese party?
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Wow, Donnah, now we can all see very clearly that nothing cheesy gets pasteurize!
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I can see clearly now, the rain is gone.
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♪♪ I can see clearly now, the rain is gone. ♫
♪♪ I can see all obstacles in my way..... ♫
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...and then my knee-jerk reaction kicks in for solutions...
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demografx; True or False and Why? when you are bored your internal clock speeds up and time seems to slow down but when you are excited, your internal clock slows down and time fly by. I read your material. Cataloochee
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Today is
National Get Out of the Doghouse Day!
http://history.holidays.net/index.php?title=National_Get_Out_of_the_Doghouse_Day
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fphoto-4.jpg&hash=9fe308c357078c636d9d08882a8f32a4)
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Ken all of us do that?
[ Invalid Attachment ]
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Yes. If we have a ken to!
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My fortune cookie didn't have a fortune in it, just the name of the quality control person, Yoo Soon Digh.
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My fortune cookie didn't have a fortune in it, just the name of the quality control person, Yoo Soon Digh.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F_69j7nVK5I7c%2FS_xC3lKr-5I%2FAAAAAAAAAXs%2FzwnjucAA9wg%2Fs320%2Ffortune%2Bcookies.jpg&hash=ad4b6fb4831365ae437f4ca5dc0cb934)
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Elizabethan Serenade (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbLNigDZai8)
Atlantis (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VycZVyApqew)
Stranger on the Shore (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUXmj3Fl7x0)
Jessica (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Swm-j58w94)
Don't mind me, I'm just practising telling fortunes.
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one (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_4_fF-pIK0)
two (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTUauZaupyI&feature=related)
three (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ye8mB6VsUHw)
four (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzq9BQcLnF4)
Ah! Now those fortunes take the biscuit.
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Unfortunately, Don, my glycemic index went through the roof just lusting over LOOKING at those vids!
ps - were YOU one of The Shadows???
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ps - were YOU one of The Shadows???
Strange you should ask, I have been accused of lurking around in them!!!(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fmisbehaving%2F10.gif&hash=92e44ddc63ec412169ae55fa92f841b6)
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ps - were YOU one of The Shadows???
Strange you should ask, I have been accused of lurking around in them!!!(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fmisbehaving%2F10.gif&hash=92e44ddc63ec412169ae55fa92f841b6)
Similarly, when I stepped out into the dusk with my wife edit - and two kids, I had a sudden four-shadowing.
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Today is
Pi Day
a/k/a
Pi Approximation Day
http://www.surfnetkids.com/pi_day.htm
So feel free to throw a pie in Don's (or my) face! [:D]
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Me an d the wife were going to jet off because we were being harrised into covering the debt of a welcher. A bank was hankering after our money. In our hurry to get away, I bumped into a Frenchman, sending his wine off in all directions. “Mar vin” he cried as he rubbed his scratched and bruced shoulder and noticed his clothing was dripping in the spilt wine from shoulder to knee. I said “You’d still be dri if ter bottles hadn’t broken.”
For the benefit of anyone sad enough to be wondering what I on about here, get a life!
The Shadows (originally The Drifters) original line-up:-
Hank Marvin – Lead guitar
Bruce Welch – Rhythm guitar
Jet Harris – Bass guitar
Tony Meehan – Drums
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Today is
Pi Day
So feel free to throw a pie in Don's (or my) face! [:D]
WHOOPIE Toss your comestibles down my cake-hole
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The Drifters??? Why didn't you SAY that?
I simply didn't get your drift!
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I simply didn't get your drift!
Strange, of all people, I thought you wood!
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Oh I wood have drifted there eventually!
Just like a drifter cat that wood never give up, I wood have hardily purred severe!
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And tomorrow, Saturday, July 23, 2011 is:
Hot Enough For Ya Day
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fphoto-5.jpg&hash=22cffa7a3398504da010ae363c36a3c2)
Its hot! Its sticky! And its still hot! Its so hot you can even fry an egg on the street!
So when you’re out and about tomorrow – what do you think we’ll be saying when greeting someone? Go ahead. You know you want to say it!
Is it Hot enough for ya? (OY!)
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It was so hot the other day that even the mosquitoes were dropping like flies.
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You guys are all invited to our new reality show to find the world's ugliest person. If you're all voted off, at least we'll know we left no crone unspurned.
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Grizelda was asked by la Sûreté to formerly identify the body of whom they believed to be Quasimodo. When she looked at the body she said, "Well, I'm not to sure, but the face rings a bell."
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You guys are all invited to our new reality show to find the world's ugliest person. If you're all voted off, at least we'll know we left no crone unspurned.
You hag no idea witch way that was so offensive!
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Grizelda was asked by la Sûreté to formerly identify the body of whom they believed to be Quasimodo. When she looked at the body she said, "Well, I'm not to sure, but the face rings a bell."
Grizelda had a hunch!
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"Pardonnez-moi monsieur, est-il un tram pour le barrage?"
"Non, il n'ya pas de barrage de tram."
Doesn't seem to work in French, does it, No tram dam (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Flol%2F4.gif&hash=dc0017defb1737ae43c0ff6efcb35b2a)
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Poor Quasimodo was in a car accident when he tried to park while lighting a cigarette. His lighter wouldn't work, so he gave it some gas.
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Is that a Quasi-blast?
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No tram dam
At The Univ. of Notre Dame, beaver films are the most popular damn movies!
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Is that a Quasi-blast?
You must be referring to:
Phys Rev Lett. 2009 Nov 27;103(22):224501. Epub 2009 Nov 25.
Blast shocks in quasi-two-dimensional supersonic granular flows.
Boudet JF, Cassagne J, Kellay H.
Source
Centre de Physique Moléculaire Optique et Hertzienne, Université Bordeaux 1, UMR 5798 CNRS, 351 cours de la Libération, 33405 Talence, France.
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Is that a Quasi-blast?
You must be referring to:
Phys Rev Lett. 2009 Nov 27;103(22):224501. Epub 2009 Nov 25.
Blast shocks in quasi-two-dimensional supersonic granular flows.
Boudet JF, Cassagne J, Kellay H.
Source
Centre de Physique Moléculaire Optique et Hertzienne, Université Bordeaux 1, UMR 5798 CNRS, 351 cours de la Libération, 33405 Talence, France.
Now what the hell am I supposed to do with that? I don't know how you have de Gaulle to leave me so stranded.
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Now what the hell am I supposed to do with that? I don't know how you have de Gaulle to leave me so stranded.
You're right but give me a chance, it's still Orly in the morning for me to Field a question like that!
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Oh! Just bourget it!
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Now what the hell am I supposed to do with that? I don't know how you have de Gaulle to leave me so stranded.
You're right but give me a chance, it's still Orly in the morning for me to Field a question like that!
Oh! Just bourget it!
Charles de Gaulle? Orly? Bourget? Oh sure, they're very good, but not as good as the Beijing airport. Why, there, they even have a whole lot of Chinese checkers!
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That's to make sure people are Oriented properly.
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Yes! And once they're properly Oriented, they can get in to the Express lines!
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I'm having trouble keeping track of this....... What was I going to say? Nope, its no good, I've lost my train of thought. I'd best leave it to you two esteamed members.
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You know what I like about you? You never try to railroad us with your train of thought! But I just can't figure out which engine fuels your desires.
Hmm. Your station in life must be important, that's the ticket! So what's the next stop for you? Whatever it is, you're a man with no patience for delays! Your schedule is prompt and our timetables must simply be made to keep chugging along with yours!!
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Water loot of puns in one post! You must have let the air get to your head for that lot, have you had a crewe cut? Some of those puns have been waiting to be used for a long time, the sleepers of the punning world. Which points me in the direction of the old boiler of the station mistress. She would always check the money tendered for fares taken by her son in the ticket office. He was nothing like her, no 'chip off the old block', so we assumed she was 'in loco parentis'. She would get all steamed up if he made a mistake, or something along those lines. She was never on the level, crossing him off her list of good employees, until he blew the whistle on her.
Water tower of lies she came out with at the tribunal, siding with the company all the time. After the proceedings, her son said "Aslef (http://www.aslef.org.uk/)t me shocked. I can't believe the way she was crow (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Crow)ing on."
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.soulofamerica.com%2Fsoagalleries%2Fla%2Fmovie%2FLA-SPE_water_tower.jpg&hash=dd04c99c347821ae0ba27c3def5cf532)
Don_1 is hereby awarded The Punning Thread Water Tower Fame Award. SONY Pictures will certainly feature Don in their next blockbuster (and water film it will be!)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.newscenter.philips.com%2Fpwc_nc%2Fmain%2Fstandard%2Fresources%2Fcorporate%2Fpress%2F2010%2Fcity_people_light%2FCPL_Lucern_3_160.jpg&hash=b2756d8572a8483fa9cbec2c857cf6ff)
Next, Don will be flown to Lucerne, Switzerland to see water certainly the most progressive ways the city works with Water Tower lighting and architecture!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.theknot.com%2FPWPimages%2F9013902918458481%2Fwysiwyg%2Fimages%2FSofitel%2520logo.JPG&hash=f4dacd7891cb724e284b10750d2d42e6)
Finally, Don will be whisked to one of the most luxurious establishments water known for its award-winning amenities!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.broadwayworld.com%2Fcolumnpic3%2F2232448Capture256.JPG&hash=805db341d25a42da612e3ae60635acf2)
Almost forgot to mention water all-paid season tickets to any and all theatrical performances in London that can train him to improve his already well-honed craft!
Don, you do us all proud here at Punning Thread!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi745.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fxx97%2FJML9999%2Fanimated_audience_Applause.gif&hash=e99e8160bb0864e6274338df02d7b334)
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If you watch the clapping black and white people for more then 30secs it becomes quite disturbing!!
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No, they're all white.
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Today, July 28th is –
National Milk Chocolate Day!
http://holidayinsights.com/moreholidays/July/milkchocolateday.htm
We can always use an udder reason for a special treat!
-
...we assumed she was 'in loco parentis'.
Why? Then what would have been the motive?
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National milk chocolate day!!!!!!!!!!(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-excited001.gif&hash=8a90acae0f7ff56de89796e642cec91b) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
YIPEE
No time for puns now, I have some serious scoffing to do......
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Feating1%2F20.gif&hash=63077d6956a2ad5315c7a3d488fdac8c)
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I recall an old honey of mine whom I was very sweet on. We would Nestle down in the park Rown trees or in front of the TV to watch Coco the clown.
"How candy do that without hurting himself?" She would ask.
She would dream of the day Her sheyp would come in.
"Where are your parents tonight?" I asked and she replied, "Oh, Mars gone to the farm to tend to the cows. Its her milky way to a bountyful milking in the morning and my step Dad, Terry's gone down the pub."
"In that case" I wispaed "show us your snickers!" She laughed and said "You cad, bury that idea." Then she flaked out on the floor.
I think in heinzight, it was a bit krafty, even though I had bought her an Airfix model of a cat........ (WAIT FOR IT......) She had always wanted a kit-kat.
Time for some more chocy now..... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fd21c.com%2Fwalpurgis9%2Fhappies%2Ffaces%2F072.gif&hash=3168ba716db5aad64f17dcfa552ede9b)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Feating1%2F20.gif&hash=63077d6956a2ad5315c7a3d488fdac8c)
Time for some more chocy now..... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fd21c.com%2Fwalpurgis9%2Fhappies%2Ffaces%2F072.gif&hash=3168ba716db5aad64f17dcfa552ede9b)
I hereby second that emotion!!
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"In that case" I wispaed "show us your snickers!" She laughed and said "You cad, bury that idea."
[;D] [;D] [;D]
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Starting today (July 29 - 31)
World Lumberjack Championships!
http://www.lumberjackworldchampionships.com/
'Not only was I stumped,' said the lumberjack, 'but I was barking up the wrong tree.'
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Treemendous!!!
I'll get my chopper out and make a few puns.(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fhitting%2F19.gif&hash=3240092af60d5dc714ec81540e306171)
What? What did I say wrong???(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Finnocent%2F1.gif&hash=0bf9f1639cdbd9221d73d4dfc591dffa)
Just leaf me alone, I'm doing no harm.
Right, now, let's start branching out here. I don't want to sap all my energy on this or I'll be in lumber with the splinter group. Poplar though they may be, I was stuck with them before up the creek without a paddle. We were rowan with our hands to get back to the beech. One of them told a corny joke, so I said, in a Welsh accent 'Willow you pack that in boyo!" He didn't, so I beat him to a pulp. He began to look quite ashen and started pineing for rest. I think he finally twiged it; I was not ammused.
Where would be the best place to learn the art of the lumberjack? The sawbonne!?
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Woodn't you know it? Don saw the choppertunity and grabbed it.
He axed no questions, just got on with it.
I bet he's logged many miles to bring punning to a sharpened science!
But doesn't Don know that making fun of a tree is a knock on wood???
-
Where would be the best place to learn the art of the lumberjack? The sawbonne!?
Yes. But the University of California, Barkeley is also good.
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But doesn't Don know that making fun of a tree is a knock on wood???
I can assure yew, I did not take the matter treevially. Sitting on my laurels while there are puns to be punned, as pened here, has never been my intention, but I do so with no malus nor with the intent to conker. I vyleaf it is my duty to do so and as such I arose to the occasion.
-
I know you're not green at this, nature has given you much less bark and far more bite.
I feel sappy thinking how you finally awoak to the responsibility to future punners, that is, to sow the seeds of little puns so they can flower and mushroom into much bigger ones.
Remember, even the largest redwood was at one time only a punny little sapling!
-
August 1 through August 5 is
National Psychic Week
http://www.psychicsource.com/blog/index.php/3566/featured-psychic/when-is-national-psychic-week-this-year-its-august-1-5/
Now why didn't Don predict that National Psychic Week would start today?????
-
August 1 through August 5 is
National Psychic Week
http://www.psychicsource.com/blog/index.php/3566/featured-psychic/when-is-national-psychic-week-this-year-its-august-1-5/
Now why didn't Don predict that National Psychic Week would start today?????
Out of all the Psychic events, I dont know witch one to go to, Ive heard this one is not very big, its medium sized.
-
I thought it had been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. It seems not though, I suppose it was on the cards.
Let's hope nothing gets stolen at the conference, I just hate nasty little tea leaves, don't you?
Last year there were complaints about the lack of air conditioning at the event. Attendees were heard to complain to the organisers. One said "Bloody phew! t' your air con, its too damn hot in here." His side kick echoed him. But there were few chairs left empty when the event started. During the morning break, medium roast coffee was served. One delegate threw his coffee on the ground in disgust. Another delegate asked "What did you do that for? tell me." Another asked for his beverage to be stirred, the waiter said "Go stir it yourself."
At lunch, a delegate with a cleft lip enquired as to the 'sooth oph the day'. He remarked it was a shame in this day and age that you cannot always tell witch flavour your food is. "Warlocks", Said the chef, who also had a hair lip. Wine was served with the main course. A dinner remarked on the plastic vessel the wine was served in, saying, "I would have expected, considering the price we have paid, the wine to be served in crystal." "Balls! said a rude waiter, "As trolls, oh gee you don't deserve crystal."
Many stars attended the conference. To their horror, scope of the conference was limited due to time constraints.
A satelite event was held just down the road in the 7th house on the left, but there seemed to be little spirit there, despite the main event being relayed to a plasma screen.
Organiser, Sue F Sayer said she can't remember how she coped with the organisation pre dictaphones, let alone laptops.
-
I thought [National Psychic Week] had been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. It seems not though, I suppose it was on the cards.
Let's hope nothing gets stolen at the conference, I just hate nasty little tea leaves, don't you?
Last year there were complaints about the lack of air conditioning at the event. Attendees were heard to complain to the organisers. One said "Bloody phew! t' your air con, its too damn hot in here." His side kick echoed him. But there were few chairs left empty when the event started. During the morning break, medium roast coffee was served. One delegate threw his coffee on the ground in disgust. Another delegate asked "What did you do that for? tell me." Another asked for his beverage to be stirred, the waiter said "Go stir it yourself."
At lunch, a delegate with a cleft lip enquired as to the 'sooth oph the day'. He remarked it was a shame in this day and age that you cannot always tell witch flavour your food is. "Warlocks", Said the chef, who also had a hair lip. Wine was served with the main course. A dinner remarked on the plastic vessel the wine was served in, saying, "I would have expected, considering the price we have paid, the wine to be served in crystal." "Balls! said a rude waiter, "As trolls, oh gee you don't deserve crystal."
Many stars attended the conference. To their horror, scope of the conference was limited due to time constraints.
A satelite event was held just down the road in the 7th house on the left, but there seemed to be little spirit there, despite the main event being relayed to a plasma screen.
Organiser, Sue F Sayer said she can't remember how she coped with the organisation pre dictaphones, let alone laptops.
How does one even begin to respond to such a mesmerizing post?
Don's talents seem to go....well....One Step Beyond!
One would surmise that he does his best creepy thinking and writing in The Twilight Zone, and not on Ken Kesey's Magic Bus which is more likely the case.
What I really don't understand is why he doesn't make his livelihood trading in commodities/futures, where he would certainly fare spooktacularly.
I wonder if The Water Tower Fame Award went to his head? He has become increasingly prophetic since then. A concussion? Or perhaps just a romantic brush with the notion of becoming a Weather Forecaster?
Nah, he doesn't have a ghost of a chance. His resume is filled with mysterious disappearances. Dry spells also bother him, so his insistence on predicting "rain only" limits his career chances.
But I have faith in Don, ever seance I saw him start his syndicated Radio Show, "Ask The Healer", on The WOOO Radio Network.
I have tried to slyly "borrow" money from him before, but he always seems to know exactly what I want, in advance, and why. Spookily, even before _I_ know it!
-
Today, August 3, 2011, is:
National Watermelon Day
http://parkseedjournal.com/2008/08/national-waterm.html
" Watermelons doing here? I told you I wanted oranges! "
Seedy posters wanted to follow this up!
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Ah! Watermelon Day, now this appeels to me, despite the last pithy post. I shall approach the subject with my usual zest and try not to be too segmented. I should not want the fruits of my labour to be spoilt on this auspicious date. Though I must conseed this time it will be challenging. But I shall enlist the assistance of Baby Spice, with Mel on my side it might be easier, though I don't want that Kournikova girl, so I shall get a moderator to ban Anna. She is a bit tasty though, the apple of her fathers eye and she's got a nice pear.
Now, to prepair my speach. I must get a move on, I have to get a bed for my soon to come Grandchild. It will be needed once he/she has grown out of the cot. Something, as the French would say, 'Apres cot'.
Its no good, I can't figure out what to say. I am grapeling in the dark here, I just don't know what to plump for. Oh man, di are in tricky straits here and that's the truth, would I lie; me?
I can usually do this sort of thing with a passion, but its all turned rather ugly this time. There'll be no star for me!
I'm off, cherryo!
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There goes Don again, basketing in the limelight from the fruits of his labors!
You'll never see a band of teenagers cruising past Don's house and pelting it with rotten plums. (Police describe that as a drive-by fruiting.)
And did you hear about the time Don put an orange in his boxing glove so he could have a fruit punch?
But Don has a sensible plan in life: he will grow fruit trees and live to a ripe old age!
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Tomorrow, August 5, 2011 is
International Beer Day
http://www.internationalbeerday.com/
So let's get ready! Hop to it! Start brewing trouble and enjoy!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.internationalbeerday.com%2Fbadges%2Fibd-beerheart-badge.jpg&hash=5b3dec9481335c1f78e26c165291ac69)
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I shall get a moderator to ban Anna. She is a bit tasty though, the apple of her fathers eye and she's got a nice pear.
[;D] [;D] [;D]
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Today, August 13, is
International Left-Handers' Day
http://www.lefthandersday.com/about.html
Celebrate your right to be left-handed!
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Well, i Left it to the last moment to know it was this special celebration for us Lefties, who are the only right thinking people around.
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Sean, you're right!!
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Tomorrow, August 5, 2011 is
International Beer Day
http://www.internationalbeerday.com/
So let's get ready! Hop to it! Start brewing trouble and enjoy!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.internationalbeerday.com%2Fbadges%2Fibd-beerheart-badge.jpg&hash=5b3dec9481335c1f78e26c165291ac69)
Curses! I missed out on that one. Coors, I’m sure I could have brewed up a cocktail of puns in the spirit of this occasion, bud. Wiser in the art of punning than the average man, I may not be, still, ah, art were my way to punification.
Yeast sir, I would have hopped to it. Some may have been light while some larger, none bitter, I hope, but a pale full could have been forthcoming. I could have been the oast with the most.
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Please beer with me and my line of thinking, Don, but aren't you competing for The Alcohol Of Fame?
Or is the ice cold draft from the window sudsenly giving me a head cold and fermenting my thinking?
At least I'm not foaming at the mouth over this!
Well, I have to go now and mug for the camera. I'm sure glad my problems lately are only pint-sized.
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Well it's been a Hams dinger of a day today and I think I could use a good stiff drink, but seeing that I haven't yet made it to corpse status yet I think I will steer clear of the embalming fluid and stick to the less permanent relaxation plan...and indulge in a bit of the spirits!
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Hi, Karen! Come join me by the pool for a drink! If you're in a pickle because of today, then my looks should be reassuring!
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That sounds cool..where are you located, surely not in the High Sierras? Looks like its, down in warmer area and I would love to thank you..... your looks would be just fine young man...
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... your looks would be just fine young man...
Why, flattery will get you everywhere, Young Lady!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.jedessine.com%2F_uploads%2Fmembres%2Farticles%2F20110416%2Fy6r8e_male03-happy-smiley-smile-smiley-emoticon-000043-facebook.gif&hash=2b5450d3777bdb4d7fd821bf56838216)
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Oooooh la la.......
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Awe...very pretty penmanship!
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Karen, since computers took over my life, my penmanship has gone steadily, steadily downhill!
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Yes.. I wrote a friend and sent a letter in my lovely penmanship and he said it was hard to read after all the years on a computer.. .. lol....
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdoit101.com%2FPenmanship%2Fimages%2Fill034.jpg&hash=5701297ec926f4f76634fc7a12d84018)
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Today, August 30th, 2011 is:
National Toasted Marshmallow Day
They must weigh those marshmallows in GRAHAMs!
I bet there's S'more where that came from!
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Curses! I missed out on that one. Coors, I’m sure I could have brewed up a cocktail of puns in the spirit of this occasion, bud. Wiser in the art of punning than the average man, I may not be, still, ah, art were my way to punification.
Yeast sir, I would have hopped to it. Some may have been light while some larger, none bitter, I hope, but a pale full could have been forthcoming. I could have been the oast with the most.
While this is far from sad or morose, this post above was specially noted by our BEEReavement Committee.
Certainly not a case of POUR judgement by any means.
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Today, August 30th, 2011 is:
National Toasted Marshmallow Day
Verily you jest! Who dreamt up this one?
Do you not think it is too marsh to expect people to fork out on this confection in such hard times? Eating too marsh of this could render one liable to frequent visits to the Lavatera. They ar a bic on the soft side for my liking.
Let us raise our glasses in a toast to the late Malcom McLaren who, I am afraid to say, did not repay his debt to me. Mal owed me just a gahstly amount. We wish him sweet dreams.
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Don, that was sweet of you to say.
You never sugar coat the truth.
And you always treat us with fine punnery.
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A Punners Lament
As I was browsing through the posts,
Upon the science forum.
I found myself somewhat lacking,
In any sense of decorum.
No matter what was written there,
No matter how serious.
I felt the urge to have to write,
Something quite delirious.
But not for me a simple case,
Of scribing something silly.
Oh no dear reader I had to write
Something cheesy as Caerphilly.
I took the words written there,
And found another meaning.
My puns were ‘oft times very stupid,
My posts quite demeaning.
If only I could be more serious,
Write something educated.
A post of wisdom to make my standing,
Become more inflated.
Alas I fear it never shall be,
I have a nose for a pun.
And so the forum members shout,
'Oi trunky, where’s your bun?'
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdoit101.com%2FPenmanship%2Fimages%2Fill034.jpg&hash=5701297ec926f4f76634fc7a12d84018)
Yes this is much like my writing...By the way while punning away in this thread.. I realized that some peoples handwriting simply makes me feel cursive whoops or like cursing!
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A Punners Lament
As I was browsing through the posts,
Upon the science forum.
I found myself somewhat lacking,
In any sense of decorum.
No matter what was written there,
No matter how serious.
I felt the urge to have to write,
Something quite delirious.
But not for me a simple case,
Of scribing something silly.
Oh no dear reader I had to write
Something cheesy as Caerphilly.
I took the words written there,
And found another meaning.
My puns were ‘oft times very stupid,
My posts quite demeaning.
If only I could be more serious,
Write something educated.
A post of wisdom to make my standing,
Become more inflated.
Alas I fear it never shall be,
I have a nose for a pun.
And so the forum members shout,
'Oi trunky, where’s your bun?'
Lol..LOL...Thats great! by the way the 30th was also my birthday! lol!
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A Punners Lament
As I was browsing through the posts,
Upon the science forum.
I found myself somewhat lacking,
In any sense of decorum.
No matter what was written there,
No matter how serious.
I felt the urge to have to write,
Something quite delirious.
But not for me a simple case,
Of scribing something silly.
Oh no dear reader I had to write
Something cheesy as Caerphilly.
I took the words written there,
And found another meaning.
My puns were ‘oft times very stupid,
My posts quite demeaning.
If only I could be more serious,
Write something educated.
A post of wisdom to make my standing,
Become more inflated.
Alas I fear it never shall be,
I have a nose for a pun.
And so the forum members shout,
'Oi trunky, where’s your bun?'
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-A7lbP7ZfCEo%2FTY9XiqRluNI%2FAAAAAAAAF5I%2FP6lo_PQa5AI%2Fs1600%2FRkb%2Bpoetry%2Baward.png&hash=2cb4302df194548783debd2923ae56fb)
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September is
National Piano Month
Tune in and we can tell you the key to what this month is about.
Play a lot, eat with a fork, and keep your pedal to the metal.
Make note of your surroundings. Be sharp. Don't fall flat on your face, it can be a lot of treble!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F_UsfhDcgBxwY%2FTMSrN_S3KXI%2FAAAAAAAADNo%2F4p9mTn8qlmk%2Fs1600%2Fhappy_birthday_karen_badge.png&hash=f7b71e77e8046cca53f183a79e524609)
Thank you Demo... how pretty...sweet!
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National Piano Month!?!?!? Oh! How grand. This is great news baby.
I'm sure Einstein, way before he dabbled in physics, enjoyed the piano. "It will be his forté" said his Scottish uncle. "Eeee bonny lad I've o real good feeling aboot this we bairn." He may have been wrong about Albert's future, but he was a good upright man.
So let nobody put a damper on this month, or pedal any daft puns ((https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fclueless%2F1.gif&hash=ba6e884e2ac18d739c0e89967c82862b)). Opps, better put a lid on it a bit sharpish, before some stoolpigeon lets on. I don't want to be laid flat by the Pun Police, especially while I'm wearing a G string........ Don't even think about it... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fparanoid%2F1.gif&hash=df999c6061c96963445f647d632baeb5)
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A Punners Lament
As I was browsing through the posts,
Upon the science forum.
I found myself somewhat lacking,
In any sense of decorum.
No matter what was written there,
No matter how serious.
I felt the urge to have to write,
Something quite delirious.
But not for me a simple case,
Of scribing something silly.
Oh no dear reader I had to write
Something cheesy as Caerphilly.
I took the words written there,
And found another meaning.
My puns were ‘oft times very stupid,
My posts quite demeaning.
If only I could be more serious,
Write something educated.
A post of wisdom to make my standing,
Become more inflated.
Alas I fear it never shall be,
I have a nose for a pun.
And so the forum members shout,
'Oi trunky, where’s your bun?'
Wonderful Don...ewe've found your vocation !
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Lol...lol...lol......Now that was completely scaled to fit the appropriate subject...bearing in mind that a note like that could start a crescendo of appropriate punning that would send vibrations through the world of music starting back with Bach and Beethoven...etc....that we would half to take so many rests that. Even a minor note might could start many a new pianist into tickling the ivories! It would be like a concerto of
unimaginable talent let loose on the
world of music... a grand
performance from every walk of
life....opening new doors with every
press of the keys until even
those bars at the begining are
compiled and added to the many
pages of sheet music being read by
piano soloists everywhere! Every
chord played with precision and
impeccable timing. It would certainly
set the bench high for anyone just
begining to embark in a carreer of such sustained highs and incredible
lows always keeping their ears alert
so the pieces never sound flat or out
of tune...
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A Punners Lament
As I was browsing through the posts,
Upon the science forum.
I found myself somewhat lacking,
In any sense of decorum.
No matter what was written there,
No matter how serious.
I felt the urge to have to write,
Something quite delirious.
But not for me a simple case,
Of scribing something silly.
Oh no dear reader I had to write
Something cheesy as Caerphilly.
I took the words written there,
And found another meaning.
My puns were ‘oft times very stupid,
My posts quite demeaning.
If only I could be more serious,
Write something educated.
A post of wisdom to make my standing,
Become more inflated.
Alas I fear it never shall be,
I have a nose for a pun.
And so the forum members shout,
'Oi trunky, where’s your bun?'
Wonderful Don...ewe've found your vocation !
Yes indeedy he has kind Sir!...lol... precision timing on. Both of your parts!
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At Ye Olde Punning Thread.....
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstore02.prostores.com%2Fl2designcollective%2Fcatalog%2FSUS01.jpg&hash=9b7d2a636861bd7f91e30faf3c489a17)
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Like an old player piano......rolling out the tunes!
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Wow, Karen, you missed your calling! A punny one!
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Wow, Karen, you missed your calling! A punny one!
Lol...just depends on the topic sand my brain functioning on any given day...you never know when my tune may completely fail as old as I am its hard for me to keep playing the right tune what with wear and tear on the keyboard.. and wires, that time seems to get me rather out of tune and makes
me get a tad off key if you know what I mean?
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Looks like it needs its 100,000 mile tune up!
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You can tune a piano but you can't tuna-fish.
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September is
Happy Cat Month!
http://www.littlebigcat.com/blog/its-happy-cat-month/
It's a secret, so don't let the cat outta the bag!
And ask yourself this question: Is your cat finally house broken? Litterly?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F_tRlky1tMPAI%2FSh7qE-QLfbI%2FAAAAAAAAC5M%2FXqJLV6RD1-Y%2Fs400%2Fhappy-cat.jpg&hash=6ef2ce96ceb7d1cad54113680b03684a)
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I don't have a cat! Can I put a fur coat on my tortoises and make out I have a cat?
Ever seen a tortoise up a tree?
Sorry, I'm feline a little tired today. Tabby honest, I'm totally s***ed out! I can't pussyfoot around any more, I have work to do, me owd buddies. Last day at ExCeL, purrfect!
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Don, we started the poker game, please put more money in the kitty.
And don't drink any whiskery.
Clawing your way to the top may be why you're not feline great.
Glad you could chime in on Happy Cat Month. It's the tail end of September.
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I'm not going to pussyfoot around, I dropped by fur a little nip and found you cats unravelling the purrrfect thread.
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DONNAH, nice to see you! I'm so glad you don't play cat-and-mouse-games with us. Always direct and straightforward!
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October is
Apple Month!
http://windsor.patch.com/articles/october-is-national-apple-month
I couldn't decide whether or not to make spiced apple cider, so I mulled it over.
The apple crossed the street because he wanted to get to the other cider the road.
She was the apple of his eye and he liked to sit down be cider.
If you're looking for oranges on an apple tree you will have a fruitless search.
An apple farmer with poor yields has to get to the core of the problem.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fb58acd03.jpg&hash=566d6379a29f6416ecc41c9f35cbef33)
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Now that a peels*** to me. I'm sure a few pithy puns must be lurking around here somewhere.
Will it be easy to find them, or chard. Somer set in my mind, others in the base of my spine or coxis. What a bummer! Ooer, that was a bit strudel.
*** Please note the double pun.
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I'm sure a few pithy [apple] puns must be lurking around here somewhere.
I'm sure, too. It would be a pity otherwise!
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I can't wait for Pear month......
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YES???????? And just what picture were you expecting?
I don't know, some people........... always got their minds in the gutter (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fowlsalive.com%2Fresources%2F_wsb_161x161_Rock%2Bn%2BGoals%2BLes%2BDawson.jpg&hash=d464b7f8991693c2387619df08eef5d2)
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A- pear-ant-ly it ap-pears to be pear season here now as my pear tree is losing its pear in
pears I mean pairs...!
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See, Don? Just say the word and a nice pear walks in to say hi!!!
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Ah yes! And wearing some nice apearal, I'll wager.
Which brings a question to mind; why do I have a shirt but a pair of trousers?
Why not a shirt and a trouser? Or a pair of shirts?
OK, so the trousers go over two legs, but then a bra holds two (eh em, you know what I mean), but its a bra, not a pair of bras.
What's this got to do with punning?????????
Any way, back to the pair pear. A much underrated fruit. Perhaps we should set up a conference to discuss this matter. I'm sure it would be a sensation. Topics could include the use of peartree dishes in biochemical research, pear reviewing scientific research and the application of pearabolas in mathematics. I'm sure the audience would clapp wildly. We could also have a demonstration of how to pare a pair of pears.
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Amazing, Don! So things are not always as they appear!
Just my opinion, but I think your exploration of bras and trousers, (NOT to be confused with _browsers_ that hold up the Internet.) far more compelling for some strange reason. Hm.
Now I hope to pare my waist by eating more of those conference sensations. After all, how can 50 million doctors be wrong???
Thanks for the great education, now maybe we can start a PTA (Pearent-Teacher Association, too!
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Don's Pear Punning Award!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.giftsforprofessionals.com%2Fimages%2Ff8bi9c919031270m%2Fjade-pear-shaped-employee-recognition-award.jpg&hash=ef3e22b49a3ccbe1bb35aed3e28b9b6c)
If you lie it on its side, it can double as a peartree dish!
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I can't wait for Pear month......
It's in December!
http://www.usapears.org/en/Facts%20And%20Nutrition/Pressroom/Press%20Releases/USDA_Declares_December_National_Pear_Month_120110.aspx
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It's in December
Can I wait that long? Who knows? Pearhaps I can, I'm sure it will be treemendous.
But what about Loganberries and goosgogs??? I just lurrrrrrrve them. Just one small problem, I can instantly think of a goosgog pun: The weather was rather inclement, so I gave the order to the bird, 'Goose, berry your eggs'. But a loganberry pun?????
Hmmmmmmm......... Ah yes.......
After the harvest I was logan berries into the truck to take to market when a hijacker of considerable disadvantage in height tried to rob me. Well, I was having none of that, but he was too short for me counter as he drew his pistol from its holster. I put my hands up. I did not want this low gun burying me.
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This is
International Newspaper Carrier Day!
Like his counterpart in the postal service, a good carrier always keeps you posted.
(However, the postal service is a mail dominated profession).
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This is an invasion of privacy! However did you acquire my official Passport photo?????
Harrrruuuummmmppphhh!!
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This is
International Newspaper Carrier Day!
Sorry, I have to report I have a more pressing engagement.
Edward, bring that 5th columnist over here, now Ed, 'it 'er with this gun, but be sure to eject the magazine first.
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Do you think International Punning Chimney Sweep's Day might be super-flue-house here?
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Do you think International Punning Chimney Sweep's Day might be super-flue-house here?
No, but extra-vagcant perhaps?
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.halloweenmegasale.com%2FImages%2FAnimatedPumpkin.gif&hash=979e2043605add4a202a0b1d9f343ea2)
Halloween's approaching!
Don't forget to pump your kin for any ideas they may have for you!
2 [pumpkin] heads are better than one!
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If only your name was Ian, I could say 'Hello Ian'.
Its all a load of old warlocks anyway. Witch day does it fall on? I suppose I shall have to enter into the spirit of the event, it gouls without saying really.
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"Ghouls without saying"?
I won't fall for that trick or I'll be treated much worse by The Ghostbusters! {fright}
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"Ghouls without saying"?
WHOOOOSHhhhh
"Wow!!! What was that?
"I don't know, it went without saying."
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I would write you a letter, but my pen has run out.
****Come back, pen****
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On the first day of Xmas,
My true love sent to me.....
A section of a protrusion from a cliff face in a shallow glass dish spread with agar.
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a part-ridge in a petri?
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a part-ridge in a petri?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fclapping%2F1.gif&hash=630ce9426a81d34b7f5a5ad07dbf2d06)
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I would write you a letter, but my pen has run out.
****Come back, pen****
When it returns, don't PENalize it just for taking a beak!
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Have you seen my walking stick?
Yes, it went out for a walk
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Have you seen my walking stick?
Yes, it went out for a walk
Don: stick to your guns, reprimand it as needed, but don't let this become a sticking point in furthering your harmonious relations with the well-intentioned walking stick.
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You left the tap running
How do you know?
Because its miles away now
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Senile agitation?
Sounds like stirring up an Egyptian river.
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Don, the advertising is out already for the movie:
"See Nile Agitation" !!
Starring Crocodile Dundee
+ Cast of 1,000's of Egyptian Military!
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You left the tap running
How do you know?
Because its miles away now
I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink.
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I'll thank you not to plug your alternative occupations here. It can be a drain on rescorces to be over flowing with such information.
Anyway, water you talking about, I thought you were in to playing the bass in a group and tending to your crop of plumbs.
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I think your ears are clogged. Do you still think I'm flush with cash?
I took a plunge into tap dancing, and I'm lucky I survived!
Also thought you had a better handle on the situation.
My advice: don't confuse a "Quintile" (in math) for an Italian ceramic factory.
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November is.....National Novel Writing Month!
http://www.nanowrimo.org/
This may be novel to you, and news to me!
A novelist's career is not written in stone, so c'mon and write, you may just be the next Hemingway!
Paper the walls with all your Great Ideas for that novel!
And once you've made that promise to write, keep your word!
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I shall book a date to cover to this event. My page, Alan, will accompany me. I can get him to place my stakes on the horses that day, yes, I shall use Al for bets.
Will I get slated for that contrived pun? Another one for Demo to chalk up. He'll doubtless sentence me to 100 lines for that.
If I were a ship, would I be in decks?
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If I were a ship, would I be in decks?
There goes Don, using his index finger to ask a lot of pointed questions.
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If I were a ship, would I be in decks?
There goes Don, using his index finger to ask a lot of pointed questions.
Drat & Curses, while thumbing through the book I have been fingered again by the Demo-punster. You've got to hand it to him, most face defeet at his army of puns, they are so far ahead of the rest. Any man, once beaten, well, hel bow to your superior puns if you kneed him to, or will have no option but to leg it, with his feeble puns in toe tow. His puns will have been waisted.
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Just like Don, Grey's Anatomy has many humerus remarks.
-
...... humerus .........
Isn't that commonly known as the 'funny bone'?
The bone of contention here, is that ulnather bone which can hammer out jokes anvil you with joy and laughter is the scapula, though you would not agree if during WWII you had been in Scapula Flow (http://www.scapaflow.co.uk/wartime.htm). I hope I don't get a ribbing for that. Demo can be quite sternum at times.
Must pop off to the shop now, get Mr. Patela to supply me with a table cloth of a radius to fit the kitchen table. It will have tibia a blue one to match the decor. If I don't, I will only stirr up trouble with the Mrs.
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...... humerus .........
Isn't that commonly known as the 'funny bone'?
I don't find that the least bit humerus whatsoever.
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I hope I don't get a ribbing for that. Demo can be quite sternum at times.
Whew!
I'm sooooooooo glad you got THAT off your chest! [:)]
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"Ghouls without saying"?
WHOOOOSHhhhh
"Wow!!! What was that?
"I don't know, it went without saying."
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fclapping%2F1.gif&hash=630ce9426a81d34b7f5a5ad07dbf2d06)
Mod edit - the above animated-emoticon was brazenly plagiarized from Don_1 November 11, 2011 @ 04:05PM PDT. Scotland Yard advised.
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"Hey!" Said Coropral Ricky, "That's a swizz."
"Are you sure rick?" Retorted Gen Eva, "if so may he Berne in hell. Pvt. Lucy, do your worst on him."
"Yeah Luc earn your wages and set light to his wohlen jumper."
From the above, you may deduce that I am off on my travels again at the weekend. Zurich for a few days. You could say I'm on a roll, ..............
Altogether now........ a...........
Swiss Roll [::)]
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I will certainly refrain from making any cheesy comments.
-
I wanted to know the best time to see the Dales, so I asked a local 'Wens le dale in full flower?'. He seemed to take umbrage to my query and muttered "Grrr you're just another tourist, there's still tons of flowers in bloom."
Another local said, "Eee dam you, you old codger. I'll tell him. Go down by the medevil fort for a good view. The rock fort is a popular site."
"Thank you Mr?" I queried.
"Just call me Chedwin." He responded.
"Ched, ah an unusual name these days" I said.
"Eee man tell him some other places," piped up another local, "and tell him the whey to brie sure he gets there."
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It was a lovely day at the fair, so I came an' Bert.
Hehehe, I slipped in a krafty one there.
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Such a lovely day it was, that I sat on the green sward.
"OUCH! Who left this sword lying around?"
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It was a lovely day at the fair, so I came an' Bert.
Hehehe, I slipped in a krafty one there.
Oh, Don, admit it! You are writing all these lovely but cheesy puns so you can brag once again about all your highflying Swiss travels and conquests !
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Cheesy puns???? Now there's food for thought.
I wonder if brains would be good food for thought.
Eyeballs good for vision. Pigs trotters good for marathon runners.
Mussels good for weight lifters.
Sausages good for...........(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fhitting%2F7.gif&hash=e6353eb01da74af44d5cde972ec84d5a)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)
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December is
Quince and Watermelon Month
http://www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov/month/watermelon.html
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.angievargas.com%2Fimages%2Fdecember.gif&hash=cd6bed6ff86e1085e851f71db4d2e971)
I know what you're all thinking, "Demo, water you ranting about NOW???"
But it's really just a quinceidence that this is a sweet month.
Maybe Don will re-do the definition ?
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Ah! The quinceessntial month of December approaches. (Excuse me London accent).
Yes, here I cydonia my chair getting the pip over a large fruit. I can get very pithy about this sort of thing. Such a fruitless excersize. And does anyone invite me arind their gaff to partake of these natural delights? Its no coquinceidence that they don't.
"How much is that melon mate?"
"To you guv, it'll be two quince."
"Shouldn't that be 'two quid'?"
"You read your script, I'll read mine."
-
(Excuse me London accent).
What do you call a melon that's not allowed to get married?
Can't elope.
-
Oh my gourd, where's 'er indoors?
"Honey, dew my medication now, I musk have it, I'm going to that galia meeting of the Punster Society tonight. I don't want to show myself up like last time, when I called the Chairman 'Sugar', that's har al y need".
Now that's what you call a contrived pun!
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...I called the Chairman 'Sugar'...
Cane sugar can't be beet.
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"Honey, dew my medication now...
Before we married, I told my wife, "Honey, dew you realize we cantaloupe because they would banana from traveling to chili."
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...I called the Chairman 'Sugar'...
Cane sugar can't be beet.
No, but you can whisk it.
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With all this eloping in mind, I have decided to get religion.
I shall become a spiritualist. Apparently, after drinking a bottle of Scotch or some other strong spirit you list to one side or the other and then start singing 'Aisle be seeing you in all the old familiar places'. But after so much drink, you must not go anywhere via car or the police will priest you to alter your ways.
When the effect of the drink has worn off, you get an unholy pain in the temple and are liable to pewk.
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Have faith, Don, a bolt of enlightenment will hit you slowly, but not rite away.
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Have faith, Don,
I would have Faith, but she want's nothing to do with me, so I'll try Christine instead.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)
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December 2 - tomorrow
Is National Mutt Day
http://m.examiner.com/examiner/pm_60901/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=lFm2OmJm
I hope this post breeds more awareness of our scruffier canine friends.
Paws for a moment and consider their situation.
Don''t make them beg for your attention.
And if you're well-heeled, buy a mutt a manicure or pedicure. Today.
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Much as I love dogs, I could never keep one because we both work. It would be unfair to let a dog rot while ‘er indoors and myself are out all day.
Thought you were going to get off scottie free there didn’t you? I thought I’d poodle up to the pun to throw you off the scent. I can be a right little terrier at times.
Now where’s that young lad Jack? I’m getting hungry. “Oi Jack, russell up some grub will you. I wouldn’t mind a nice collieflower cheese.” I have to meet the Mrs at the station and setter on her way to the supermarket. She’ll hound me chronic if I don’t pointer in the right direction. Probably cut my trousers to shreds, so I’ll have my bum hanging out and peeking knees! She’s always calling me a tosa, just the slightest mistake and she tells me “Hold out your hand while I whippet.”
I’d send the lad to it for me, but that would only throw a spaniel in the works and I’d still have to go to retriever anyway. When ‘er indoors gets in a tiz, it be goulish, I can tell you.
Right, best get off now, chow, chow.
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Stone me! Even I'm quite pleased with that post! Especially the tosa (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tosa_(dog))!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Flol%2F4.gif&hash=dc0017defb1737ae43c0ff6efcb35b2a)
Good grief! even a smiley pun.... its Mutley!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.harthill.se%2FBilder%2Fanimated%2520dog%2520slow.gif&hash=771c2f60a8c267bbc180005105cb7ef3)
Don wins the Perpetual Punning Dog Award!
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Ding goes the door bell. I open the door to find the neighbour standing there.
"Hi Ena" I say to her. She's quite a foxy lady.
"Have any spare milk? Our Johnny has wolfed down all of our's." she says in her husky voice. I invite her in to the kitchen.
"Doing anything special for Xmas?" she enqires.
"No, you're barking up the wrong tree there." I growl. "Are you expecting any good presents?" I continue.
"I doubt it" she replies "just the usual new pair of pants."
She sits on my lap and I cockern eye at her. I know where this is leading to. "Carefull" I say, "we don't want to get collared again for this hanky panky." I could tell you a tail or two, but I paws for the sake of good taste.
As she leaves, I say "Nice of you to come by." and we both howl with laughter.
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"...Our Johnny has wolfed down all of our's".
Unable to get help with my refinancing made me a loan wolf.
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Unable to get help with my refinancing made me a loan wolf.
Better than being a loan dog fishshark!
"Hey! Mr Papadopalopalopalopadus, wanna borrow a few meillion Euros? Cheaper pryyce inteerrest, only 1001%."
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Unable to get help with my refinancing made me a loan wolf.
Better than being a loan dog fish shark!
It's a shark-eat-shark world, I tell ya!
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He was the most dishonest and cleverest card shark in the city, but the police said he will be dealt with.
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From your report with the Met Police.
I spoke to some of the officers under the command of Detective Inspector Ali B. Aster, just before they raided the shark’s illegal gaming den. I asked one of them, “Can Aster bring this card shark, Jack Dupp, to book?”
The sergeant replied “Oh yes, we’ll get Black Jack, as he’s known in his club, bang to rights. I don’t want blow the DI’s trumpet, but he’s a good copper, a real diamond geezer.”
Dogs would not be used on this raid as the handler had to take some puppies to the vet to be spayed.
There was a great deal of tension in the air as we prepared to raid the club. The officers shuffled around and took up position. Then came the word to go. We rushed over the bridge and crashed through the door. The Sergeant was shouting “Armed police, nobody move, stay where you are and hit the deck.”
One of the players cried out “What the blinking hell’s going on? Have a heart this is my first time here. ”
Another said “I can’t stay down here for long, I’m getting old, you know.” The PC stood over him said “Don’t crib, ageism is against the Queen’s law. Others just stared poker faced at the floor.
DI Aster pulled Jack to his feet and said “This is a black day for you.” And then red him his rights. “I should have known this raid was on the cards.” said Jack "I saw it in the stars, the Moon was in line with Jupiter and acemetrical with Venus.
DI Aster poured a glass of orange duce and offer some to Jack, who shook his head. “Suit yourself.” The DI said. He looked around at all the gamblers and pointing to one table said “These are four of a kind. Looks like you had a full house here tonight.” He motioned to the sergeant and said “Right, take ‘em away.”
One pair of gamblers tried to make a wild break for it, but there were two pair of officers at the door who grabbed them and put them straight in the back of the van. “A right royal mess you jokers are in.” said one officer to them, "Well, you've had your chips now.
The officers left the club feeling flushed with success. The last one out called out the mowser, "Here kitty", closed and sealed the door behind him.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.trophystoreuk.com%2Fstore%2Fimages%2FA897A.jpg&hash=42b986ba1ae15aa06a7cadb28f17e45a)
Don wins yet another Award!!!
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Thanks Demo. I have a space on my shelf to fill. That award should do the trick nicely.
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Thanks Demo. I have a space on my shelf to fill. That award should do the trick nicely.
LOL, Don, you're such a card!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.sodahead.com%2Fpolls%2F000773779%2Fpolls_angry_shouting_smiley_4450_311441_answer_5_xlarge.gif&hash=ad9ae61236a17a3d23823ba8e57b7086) DEMOGRAFX!!!
Shame on you, you have failed to point out that December is Tie Month.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.ehowcdn.co.uk%2Farticle-page-main%2Fehow%2Fimages%2Fa07%2F0j%2Ft9%2Fmake-tie-knots-800x800.jpg&hash=62cf106ed33653477da7e73931616057)
I pin this omission squarely on your shoulders. Usually I would bow to your superior knowledge on such matters, but, admit it, this time you've been collared.
I don't understand, I'm not a tricky dickie. Were you afraid I'd stitch you up like a kipper, or did you think I'd just tell you to get knotted?
I may forgive you, boot lacet time I do, so please keep us informed or I shall give it to you in the neck.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.sodahead.com%2Fpolls%2F000773779%2Fpolls_angry_shouting_smiley_4450_311441_answer_5_xlarge.gif&hash=ad9ae61236a17a3d23823ba8e57b7086) DEMOGRAFX!!!
Shame on you, you have failed to point out that December is Tie Month.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.ehowcdn.co.uk%2Farticle-page-main%2Fehow%2Fimages%2Fa07%2F0j%2Ft9%2Fmake-tie-knots-800x800.jpg&hash=62cf106ed33653477da7e73931616057)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thedailyi.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F06%2Fremorse-bank.jpeg&hash=ca96914d916d7e61f2f7d9676afe9adb)
Oh no! I goofed! Horrifically!!! Will I have to tie one on in shame?? Your news just bowled me over.
You've exposed me for the tierant that I have always been.
The reason I couldn't post it was because I was tied up at the moment.
Don, next time please have more compassion when judging me: when I was once a sailor, I had ties to home but was knot there often.
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....... I was tied up at the moment.
One day your antics with that Au pair will get found out!
OK, you are forgiven this time, but any more omissions and it will be the rack for you or a spot of neck stretching. I’ll have no more slipping. That will become abundantly clear.
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Anything but waterboarding! Last time you did that I was on a liquid diet for a whole week!
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Will I have to tie one on in shame??
Too late! I missed Tie One On Day, November 23!
Will have to wait for next year's !
http://www.apronmemories.com/tie-one-on-day/
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Will I have to tie one on in shame??
Too late! I missed Tie One On Day, November 23!
I would taiwan on to cover my shy knees but I think I've a cold coming on, or some sort of germ anyway. I feel chile and so sick man, illa than you can imagine. I'd best eat something, like turkey, as they say you should feed a cold, though I don't feel hungary, or I're land up in bed for a few days. Of course 'er indoors will never believe it, I'll have to peruve it to her that I haves pain.
She'll just say 'get in dia van, burma bit of rubber and get going. Nor way am I letting you laze around before Xmas.'.
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....... I was tied up at the moment.
One day your antics with that Au pair will get found out!
OK, you are forgiven this time, but any more omissions and it will be the rack for you or a spot of neck stretching. I’ll have no more slipping. That will become abundantly clear.
Demografx, Don_1's forgiveness must have set you at Tie one ease!
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Truly, Donnah, I feel exonerated. Or is that x-rated?
Hmm.
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I would taiwan on to cover my shy knees but I think I've a cold coming on, or some sort of germ anyway. I feel chile and so sick man, illa than you can imagine. I'd best eat something, like turkey, as they say you should feed a cold, though I don't feel hungary, or I're land up in bed for a few days. Of course 'er indoors will never believe it, I'll have to peruve it to her that I haves pain.
She'll just say 'get in dia van, burma bit of rubber and get going. Nor way am I letting you laze around before Xmas.'.
I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
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I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
R, L O, F U N E M N X
S, V F M N X
Any excuse for this sketch (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cc3M1nppd3c) from The Two Ronnies.
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Any excuse for this sketch (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cc3M1nppd3c) from The Two Ronnies.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F441919-Royalty-Free-RF-Clip-Art-Illustration-Of-A-Cartoon-Businessman-Laughing-His-Head-Off.jpg&hash=5d6bd7d5e93102dab878575b56c5dc19)
(LMFAHO!)
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Good grief Demo. you seem to have lost your mind!
I should have known it was a mistake to let you watch that clip, especially since I had just bought you this 4.000 year old Egyptian cranial adornment for Xmas:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fegyptologist.org%2Fdiscus%2Fmessages%2F10%2F18819.jpg&hash=f1f0242b6d86c12d9300a3978716d643)
Ah well, I’ll send it back, after all de cap it ancient anyway.
What's that in the road ahead?
What's that in the road, a head?
Q. What is Demo's head singing as it rolls off into the distance?
A. 'I Ain't Got Nobody'.
The old ones are the oldest!
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This 'E chipped chin fellow nose he has a great hat on his whooping big craneum. You two rule, so hop in the car, Toot 'n cam on over, 'cause I'd like to show this to my mummy.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freakingnews.com%2Fpictures%2F45500%2FLon-Chaney-Finally-Gets-Mummy-Award--45914.jpg&hash=78b1248844401b5500078b2f91572d47)
And Don has agreed to share with Donnah......... the Mummy Punny Award!
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And this is all relevant - even today: it was the pharaohs of Egypt who worked out the very first pyramid scheme!
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In Egypt archaeologists pyramid the ruins for mummies and those places where ancient wrappers performed.
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You birds are a hoot and sound like a couple of wise old owls.
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Thank you, Donnah!
Your punctuation is always welcome here!
[:)] [:)]
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I had just bought you this 4.000 year old Egyptian cranial adornment for Xmas:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fegyptologist.org%2Fdiscus%2Fmessages%2F10%2F18819.jpg&hash=f1f0242b6d86c12d9300a3978716d643)
THANK YOU, DON!! I will treasure this forever! And I will bury all previous resentment. [:)]
Q. What is Demo's head singing as it rolls off into the distance?
A. 'I Ain't Got Nobody'.
The headlines nobody likes are wrinkles.
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Toot 'n cam on over, 'cause I'd like to show this to my mummy.
We will! What's more, we will bring an old time group to play some music during the unveiling, though it has to be said, the band age will be quite high.
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The headlines nobody likes are wrinkles.
The local beauty salon offers a cure for wrinkles, smoothing on a mixture of essential oils. I have seen them balming as i walk past.
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I have seen them balming as i walk past.
Embalming? Mummies? Oh, c'mon, you certainly know that's a dead art.
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Sometimes I have grave worries about you, Demo. They are not only my worries, they're hearse indoors too! You'll come to some greef one day.
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Sometimes I have grave worries about you, Demo.
You're projecting, Don, and it's all because you're simply buried in your work. Slow down!
They are not only my worries, they're hearse indoors too!
Awwww, now you sound just like those heavy drinkers who always put the quart before the hearse.
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How can he be impaired if he's drinking alone? [???]
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How can he be impaired if he's drinking alone? [???]
The last time an imp aired his views to me, I smashed him in the gob lined him up with some other miscreants and pixi enough of them to make a grimm example of. One, named Peggy I kicked up the bum. Peggy’s arse was so sore she couldn’t sit down. The others I made gargoyle with vinegar, which made their throat’s very unelfy. I made this torture drag on until they pleaded for mercy. “We feel very grotoy” they said. “Fair enough”, I said and let them wander off into the woodland for rest and recuperation. Should any of them return, I warned them, to dsingly delve into mischief again, I’ll give them a fairy rough dusting down.
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How can he be impaired if he's drinking alone? [???]
Donnah!
"How can he be impaired?" you ask?
Well....when we were together once, he spilled a drink on my shirt and said, "this one is on me."
Impaired I say! Off with his head!
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.... he spilled a drink on my shirt and said, "this one is on me."
Shouldn't he have said, 'this one is on you'???
Off with his head!
So, we are back to that business again, are we. De cap it ain't shunned after all.
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Dear Donnah, Demo and other members of the TNS Punnster Society,
I am sure that as the fester festive season approaches, yule log on to demonstrate your abilities in the art of punning.
Can I please request that do not come up with any turkeys, but rather make your presents felt with only the most treemendous examples of celebratory puns. Be sure an gel your puns together in fine TNS fashion, rather than stuffing us with mere trifles. May I also remind you that pudding the donkey before the cart can lead to confusion.
I am sure you wise men and women will ensure that you shepherd your words together in a most conducive manner. The gift of the Gab, real as it may be, is only bestowed on the few, and you are privileged to be stable members among them, stars in your own write rite right left (Bugger it.)
We look forward to hearing from Carol, though sometimes her hum bugs us, and to a nice hot cuppa from Demo, he brews a good pot of tea, and itS Ann ta supply the mince pies this year.
Wishing you all the breast for the new year,
‘er indoors and Don_1 two to too .
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If you toad them, will they croak?
Was watching youtoob, saw a video of a Peruvian "aphrodisiac" smoothie that involved a stunned frog, and some herbs, and further work that was supplied by a certain company whose motto is "Will it blend?"........... Not for me that is!
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Make your presents felt.
I tried wrapping Christmas presents, but I didn't have the gift.
Pudding the donkey before the cart can lead to confusion.
Pretty strong donkey! That's one way of pudding it.
Shepherd your words together in a most conducive manner.
Shepherds don't talk much because their work is past-oral.
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I tried wrapping Christmas presents, but I didn't have the gift.
Shepherds don't talk much because their work is past-oral.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Flol%2F5.gif&hash=45470f1ff84bfb0b1c61e9d6109d521f) A couple of corkers there Demo! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fclapping%2F1.gif&hash=630ce9426a81d34b7f5a5ad07dbf2d06)
Do I need to explain them to others? No ëlaboration needed.
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The last time an imp aired his views to me...
I knew the little guy was going to play a prank on me, because of my sense of imp portents.
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Arte you sure it was a prank, or am I as thick as 2 short?
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Are you sure it was a prank, or am I as thick as 2 short?
Maybe you are just thick and tired of it all?
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.... he spilled a drink on my shirt and said, "this one is on me."
Shouldn't he have said, 'this one is on you'???
I consulted Emily Post on correct manners in situations such as this!
He should have said - in proper drawing room discussion style - "This one [joke] is on us".
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Well folks, I'm off for Xmas now.
Never mind, I'm sure someone will have bought me some soap-on-a-rope & depongarant! So I shouldn't be off for too long! Until I eat some brussells, that is, then I'll be off again. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-fart006.gif&hash=a5d11962b6f68d2f9816d6cb6a7546cb) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
HAVE HAPPY HOLIDAY EVERYBODY AND SALT & PEPER (condiments) OF THE SEASON.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fhappy_hanukkah_merry_christmas_card-p137432518110292247zv2h8_400.jpg&hash=4e7b6633ea14a13f42f0594aff12268c)
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Wealth an ewe ear isawn the whore izon.
Sew ha pino ear tuyoo wall!
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Wealth an ewe ear isawn the whore izon.
Sew ha pino ear tuyoo wall!
Y than kyu so kindle ee fore tha tree mark!
Ewe arse oh so thaw t-fool!!
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Well folks, I'm off for Xmas now.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwilderness-wally.com%2Fimages%2FOffHisRocker.gif&hash=9592ea48507fb2322fa01f30f13ab078)
I thought you were off year-round? (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.smileyvault.com%2Falbums%2FCBSA%2Fthumb_smileyvault-cute-big-smiley-animated-021.gif&hash=68413547f0ad25019b48a022db9b6c83)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.picswalls.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F12%2FHappy-New-Year-2012-Wallpaper.jpg&hash=194c2db4ad3bae935c0ff7aa101cefc1)
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Well folks, I'm off for Xmas now.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwilderness-wally.com%2Fimages%2FOffHisRocker.gif&hash=9592ea48507fb2322fa01f30f13ab078)
I thought you were off year-round? (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.smileyvault.com%2Falbums%2FCBSA%2Fthumb_smileyvault-cute-big-smiley-animated-021.gif&hash=68413547f0ad25019b48a022db9b6c83)
I swear it was just my socks!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.picswalls.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F12%2FHappy-New-Year-2012-Wallpaper.jpg&hash=194c2db4ad3bae935c0ff7aa101cefc1)
I'll second that.
See you all in 2012 folks.
2012 the year of the London Olympics.......... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Frude%2F1%2Fpissed.gif&hash=1a16c1dbd6f4b0f4c543a050d4db1041) (http://www.sherv.net/pissed-emoticon-66.html)
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HAVE A HAPPY HOLIDAY EVERYBODY AND SALT & PEPPER (condiments) OF THE SEASON.
Yes, I'm also a firm believer in safe sex.
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Demo, for you, safe sex is not taking those little blue pills a half hour before........... [:)]
Though of course then the whole thing is a whole lot of talk, and very small and lack of action - spirit is willing but he will not be spirited. Or more to it, up to the task at hand.
Or so I have been told, [;)] not exactly having watched "those kind" of home movies, kinda in the spirit of liking F1 a little, but not liking the clash of the cabbages.....
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...the clash of the cabbages.....
1. If you plant the cabbage first, it will have a head start.
2. Cabbage should be eaten raw. In fact, that's Cole's Law.
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Cabbage, was he the cousin of Charles Babbage?
Did he not invent and build the computer, in the age where you would be hard pressed to get 2 screws that matched.
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Today, January 10, is
Save The Eagle Day!
Its amazing how eagles catch their prey, they must be really talonted.
The eagles club formed an add hawk committee.
An eagle and a hawk had a difference of a pinion.
Nature reserves are an eagle opportunity employer.
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I had to show this to some friends, it gave them quite a buzz, hardly had they finished reading it when Perry grinned and Harry, er, well he went into raptorous fits of laughter, ho hoing, ha haing and haw hawking around on the floor.
I really must show it to Dame Anna Neagle. Griffon (given) the price of a ticket, can anyone write me a KITE (http://www.cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk/blog/post/Why-is-Kite-slang-for-cheque.aspx) for the bus fare?
I suppose I could go to church and ask God for the money....... 'Let os prey.
Gosh awkward for an atheist!
-
In a break from the puns, here's a malapropism:-
I went to the Doctor on the pretext of 'mens problems' on December 14th.
Doctor - Come in and sit down. What seems to be the trouble?
Me - Thank you Doc. First may I wish you a happy new year.
Doctor - Ah! Say no more. I know what your trouble is, you suffer from premature congratulations.
-
In a break from the puns, here's a malapropism:-
I went to the Doctor on the pretext of 'mens problems' on December 14th.
Doctor - Come in and sit down. What seems to be the trouble?
Me - Thank you Doc. First may I wish you a happy new year.
Doctor - Ah! Say no more. I know what your trouble is, you suffer from premature congratulations.
Just a min....... on second thoughts, that's not really a malapropism at all, is it?
The trouble is, (back to the puns) I don't usually know what I'm falcon talkin' about.
-
Can anyone write me a KITE (http://www.cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk/blog/post/Why-is-Kite-slang-for-cheque.aspx) for the bus fare?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm3.static.flickr.com%2F2759%2F4462822162_a2425ee709_o.png&hash=e6fa7245985aee0918288accead3fed1)
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In a break from the puns, here's a malapropism:-
I went to the Doctor on the pretext of 'mens problems' on December 14th.
Doctor - Come in and sit down. What seems to be the trouble?
Me - Thank you Doc. First may I wish you a happy new year.
Doctor - Ah! Say no more. I know what your trouble is, you suffer from premature congratulations.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.rcgroups.net%2Fforums%2Fattachments%2F2%2F1%2F4%2F7%2F7%2F1%2Fa3234523-52-animated-laughing.gif&hash=ef291b0e8d52da4bcd28f822a80fbd54)
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I don't usually know what I'm falcon talkin' about.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cvhsfalcons.com%2Fcms%2Flib6%2FCA01001107%2FCentricity%2FDomain%2F149%2FFalcon_Award_Logo_Resized.png&hash=377468c860a3f4d70e6723744e0e06a0)
Ok! Here's your falcon award, now quit buggin' me already! :)
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I've been hunting for a falcon award.
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I've been hunting for a falcon award.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F1058417-Royalty-Free-Vector-Clip-Art-Illustration-Of-A-Cartoon-Man-Laughing-Hysterically.jpg&hash=d64728941187e639e619359212cfd626)
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Will you two stop falcon about. I'm begining to regret using that pun. You're just orking a load of old rubbish. Get back to the serious business of punning, or I'll send a bird of prey after the pair of you, and when raptors fly, terror soars on high.
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Will you two stop falcon about. I'm begining to regret using that pun. You're just orking a load of old rubbish. Get back to the serious business of punning, or I'll send a bird of prey after the pair of you, and when raptors fly, terror soars on high.
Now look here, Don, just because a crow is a four-letter bird, that doesn't give you the right to call a baby bird novelist a fledgling author!
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Gosh, I didn't mean to ruffle any feathers by beaking off, I just thought I'd fly the idea by you
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a fledgling author!
I think that at your age, you author know better than to go into such a flight of fantasy.
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....... I just thought I'd fly the idea by you
"I've just had an eye dear". Said King Harold to the Queen.
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Good Grief Demo, you've clocked up 6666 posts. Does this make you one (or six) better than the devil?
demografx
Global Moderator
Neilep Level Member
Posts: 6666
Reply #1733 on: 18/01/2012 20:00:09
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I think it means you'd have a devil of a time making that many posts.
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Donnah, men should never swear at their hairpiece or they will have the devil toupée!
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Good Grief Demo, you've clocked up 6666 posts. Does this make you one (or six) better than the devil?
demografx
Global Moderator
Neilep Level Member
Posts: 6666
Don, this is exactly why we can't let evil people have flutes.
Because then the terrorists woodwind.
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....... I just thought I'd fly the idea by you
"I've just had an eye dear". Said King Harold to the Queen.
I stole someone else's idea for a stage drama.
Does that make me a playgiarist????
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a fledgling author!
I think that at your age, you author know better than to go into such a flight of fantasy.
Oh, c'mon, Don! Do you really think I have any author choice???
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Gosh, I didn't mean to ruffle any feathers by beaking off, I just thought I'd fly the idea by you
Donnah, it's insane the way you collect large bird feathers.
It's just plume crazy.
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Not for an old crow like me.
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Not for an old crow like me.
We found a dead crow in our front yard but have yet to hear the caws of death.
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I bet the caws is that the crow's spirit has flown.
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I bet the caws is that the crow's spirit has flown.
Could be. I do know that the crow always carried some rum above its head, because it needed to lift its spirits.
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What are you two raven on about now?
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I stole someone else's idea for a stage drama.
Was it about some early seafares? You should have turned it into a comedy film; I can see the billboards now:
Staring Sid James, Kenneth Williams, Kenneth Connor, Babs Windsor, Joan Simms, Bernard Bresslaw and Charles Hawtrey.
A Peter Rodgers Production. Directed by Gerald Thomas
Carrion up the Crows Nest.
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I stole someone else's idea for a stage drama.
Was it about some early seafares? You should have turned it into a comedy film; I can see the billboards now:
Starring Sid James, Kenneth Williams, Kenneth Connor, Babs Windsor, Joan Simms, Bernard Bresslaw and Charles Hawtrey.
A Peter Rodgers Production. Directed by Gerald Thomas
Carrion up the Crows Nest.
Unfortunately, this might not turn out too well for Don: I sincerely hope he realizes - that in all his enthusiasm for this Production - in Don's international traveling to promote said comedy film, the airlines will only allow him a limited number of carrion items per passenger!
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the airlines will only allow him a limited number of carrion items per passenger!
Sorry Demo, this was not easy to understand. Did you mean caryan?
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the airlines will only allow him a limited number of carrion items per passenger!
Sorry Demo, this was not easy to understand. Did you mean caryan?
No. I meant it's not easy to stop cryin' !
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fe%2Fe3%2FMacintosh_128k_transparency.png%2F220px-Macintosh_128k_transparency.png&hash=4da672edf6a9434e3ccde6e695023125)
January 25th, 2012 is
Macintosh Computer Day
"why oh why did I buy a PC instead???"
demo
My anesthesiologist's computer has an ethernet connection.
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I recall, many moons ago, looking at the new fangled 'home computers' in a branch of Currys (other IT retailers also available, as are other foreign foods) and happily chomping on a piece of fruit.
A salesman asked "Have you got an Apple Mac?"
"No," I replied, "I've got a Conference Pear buddy."
Oh yes, I well remember my first computer, I still have it to this day, look:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.adamdorman.com%2F_images%2F3d_abacus.jpg&hash=36aa1b3de10dccbbd2697776b56be63c)
Sometimes the beads would fall off the top rail resulting in my issuing forth with expetives. Yes, I would ab a cus then start over again.
My anesthesiologist's computer has an ethernet connection.
Presumably, he has no trouble putting it into 'sleep mode'.
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Oh yes, I well remember my first computer, I still have it to this day, look:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.adamdorman.com%2F_images%2F3d_abacus.jpg&hash=36aa1b3de10dccbbd2697776b56be63c)
Sometimes the beads would fall off the top rail resulting in my issuing forth with expetives. Yes, I would ab a cus then start over again.
The bargain store promised me a free abacus with every purchase, but I wouldn't count on it.
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My anesthesiologist's computer has an ethernet connection.
Presumably, he has no trouble putting it into 'sleep mode'.
No trouble with 'sleep mode', that is correct.
But I just can't bear it when the computer 'hibernates'!
I hope you don't feel shut down by my remarks.
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I'd like to string along with this convo, and maybe take a byte or two out of it. Someone get me a cookie please?
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Chem, after burning a cookie that I made for you, I felt very crummy.
And this reminds me of the times when I used to talk to her about computer hardware, I made my mother board.
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I'd like to string along with this convo, and maybe take a byte or two out of it. Someone get me a cookie please?
But of course you may, or you can restart another. Ether way, welcome back to the mouse house of pun.
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Chem, after burning a cookie that I made for you, I felt very crummy.
Ah well, that's the way the cookie crumbles.
...........I made my mother board.
That's nothing, I've spent my hole life boring people, you know the drill...... "Blah blah blah blah rabbit rabbit blah horizon horizon blah blah drone......" And after all that, I'd go on a bit more.
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I know what you mean, Don. It reminds me of a carpenter friend who sat on his drill and was bored to tears.
And I've been to the dentist several times, so, yes, I certainly know the drill.
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........It reminds me of a carpenter friend who sat on his drill and was bored to tears.
Oooo! Narsety.
And I've been to the dentist several times, so, yes, I certainly know the drill.
After a visit to the dentist, you'll find the biggest dent ist in your wallet!
'Say ah'! When I saw the bill I said AGHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
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I'd like to string along with this convo, and maybe take a byte or two out of it. Someone get me a cookie please?
Welcome back to the mouse house of pun.
Chemistry4me:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi40.tinypic.com%2F2mnrvx0.gif&hash=3114a85bef7ba15d50964e4d0631ded3)
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And I've been to the dentist several times, so, yes, I certainly know the drill.
After a visit to the dentist, you'll find the biggest dent ist in your wallet!
'Say ah'! When I saw the bill I said AGHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
At the scene of the crime, my dentist's alibi was so full of holes, the police performed a cavity search.
A narsety one!
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After a visit to the dentist, you'll find the biggest dent ist in your wallet!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dental-focus.com%2Fmarketing%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F12%2Fdentistry_awards.jpg&hash=a8a121e7ed828933819233e24877ab14)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.instoneinc.com%2Fimages%2FCaptain_Corker.jpg&hash=001afa97173c05eaa7a982d0f0c293ca)
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To tell the tooth, I don't know whether its worse to have a cavity in my wallet or to have all my wisdom removed!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F1058376-Cartoon-Black-And-White-Outline-Design-Of-A-Man-Laughing-Hysterically-Poster-Art-Print.jpg&hash=ec7f05f5480801bfb26b13fe89908f2b)
Good one, Chem
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What a sight to see:
Ever see a dentist and manicurist fighting tooth and nail?
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Today, January 27, 2012 is the last day of:
No Name-Calling Week
http://www.nonamecallingweek.org/cgi-bin/iowa/home.html
Words can hurt, both spoken, and also in writing.
For example, an insulting telegram is a barbed wire.
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REMOVED TO PROTECT THE IDENTITY OF THE POSTER.
Hmmm! Now what do I do? (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fclueless%2F1.gif&hash=ba6e884e2ac18d739c0e89967c82862b)
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Chem, after burning a cookie that I made for you, I felt very crummy.
And this reminds me of the times when I used to talk to her about computer hardware, I made my mother board.
If I were to plagiarise the above and try to sell it here, would that be a fence post?
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Today, January 27, 2012 is the last day of:
No Name-Calling Week
http://www.nonamecallingweek.org/cgi-bin/iowa/home.html
Words can hurt, both spoken, and also in writing.
For example, an insulting telegram is a barbed wire.
Why you.......... you.......... you,you, you!
Q. What do you call a man with sponge, jelly and custard in his ears?
A. Removed due to 'no name-calling week'.
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REMOVED TO PROTECT THE IDENTITY OF THE POSTER.
Hmmm! Now what do I do? (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fclueless%2F1.gif&hash=ba6e884e2ac18d739c0e89967c82862b)
Oh! Just curse that #%*£¥€%# bastard!!!!
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Well, aside from scratching your less than hirsute pate in puzzlement, you offer polite comments on their probable abilities, proffer advice on to the best seating position and how best to achieve it, and of course, advice on determining who are their ancestors.
I do find it puzzling that I am often unable to pun effectively, perhaps that is a punnishment meted out to me by the fickle fingers of fate, or I am eternally powerless to puntificate effectively.
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Chem, after burning a cookie that I made for you, I felt very crummy.
And this reminds me of the times when I used to talk to her about computer hardware, I made my mother board.
If I were to plagiarise the above and try to sell it here, would that be a fence post?
No. That would be instead a major offence, I think!
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Would that not be a General of fence, as it is more likely to be a recurring theme in the run of things.
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Q. What do you call a man with sponge, jelly and custard in his ears?
A. Removed due to 'no name-calling week'.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F1058376-Cartoon-Black-And-White-Outline-Design-Of-A-Man-Laughing-Hysterically-Poster-Art-Print.jpg&hash=ec7f05f5480801bfb26b13fe89908f2b)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.sodahead.com%2Fpolls%2F000773779%2Fpolls_angry_shouting_smiley_4450_311441_answer_5_xlarge.gif&hash=ad9ae61236a17a3d23823ba8e57b7086) DON!!!
Shame on you, you have failed to point out that January is International Creativity Month.(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.writemoneyinc.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F01%2Fcreativity-sign.gif&hash=3e1b5874e17eaa2d18641ed09d8ee41c)
I told my friend all about your creative writing class, and she said that she had a simile experience.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dental-focus.com%2Fmarketing%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F12%2Fdentistry_awards.jpg&hash=a8a121e7ed828933819233e24877ab14)
Don, sorry about your PunAward, the punning thread budget only had enough in Treasury to get you 2010, not 2012.
By the way, next time I would recommend getting your cavity fixed by your regular dentist, and not by some guy who is just filling in.
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There needs to be a new definition of 'pundit' as in "someone who offers advice on how to pun(ed) it" [;D]
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Don, sorry about your PunAward, the punning thread budget only had enough in Treasury to get you 2010, not 2012.
It was acci-dental, the secretary spent all the money buying 1 molar Oral-B and Listerine
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Don, sorry about your PunAward, the punning thread budget only had enough in Treasury to get you 2010, not 2012.
It was acci-dental, the secretary spent all the money buying 1 molar Oral-B and Listerine
My wife and I started to date after she backed her car into mine.
We met by accident.
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My wife and I started to date after she backed her car into mine.
We met by accident.
Did she say "gimme a break/brake" or "gimme a new Ford"?
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.sodahead.com%2Fpolls%2F000773779%2Fpolls_angry_shouting_smiley_4450_311441_answer_5_xlarge.gif&hash=ad9ae61236a17a3d23823ba8e57b7086) DON!!!
Shame on you, you have failed to point out that January is International Creativity Month.(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.writemoneyinc.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F01%2Fcreativity-sign.gif&hash=3e1b5874e17eaa2d18641ed09d8ee41c)
I told my friend all about your creative writing class, and she said that she had a simile experience.
Is that a fax?
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My wife and I started to date after she backed her car into mine.
We met by accident.
Did she say "gimme a break/brake" or "gimme a new Ford"?
No, she said "Sorry I didn't mean to dent yours."
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International Creativity Month eh?
Well, no problems on that score, I create havoc wherever I go!
Except on a ship, where I tend to create hammock wherever I go. If you cant't work that out, just sleep on it a while.
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International Creativity Month eh?
Well, no problems on that score, I create havoc wherever I go!
Except on a ship, where I tend to create hammock wherever I go. If you cant't work that out, just sleep on it a while.
Ggood ggracious, I sssseem tto have developpped a ststuttter!
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Ggood ggracious, I sssseem tto have developpped a ststuttter!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia.knoxville.com%2Fmedia%2Fimg%2Fphotos%2F2010%2F09%2F02%2F090310smack2_t300.jpg&hash=da20bd5e565401ab51061359ba6438d8)
Translation: "Th-th-th-th-that's all f-f-f-folks!!"
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My wife and I started to date after she backed her car into mine.
We met by accident.
Did she say "gimme a break/brake" or "gimme a new Ford"?
Chem, all I can say is that she and I don't like driving by and hanging out at the pancake house, that place can gimme the crepes!
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No, she said "Sorry I didn't mean to dent yours."
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.1uponcancer.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F09%2Fisrael-125year-old-man-laughing-300x295.jpg&hash=b70c68fdc68fa82715803ad3d505c3f7)
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fax.......simile........it took me an hour to get that! : - ) (slow Sunday)
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My wife and I started to date after she backed her car into mine.
We met by accident.
Is your wife's name Robin? Was she driving the Backmobile? Or was she just hitting on you?
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F1058376-Cartoon-Black-And-White-Outline-Design-Of-A-Man-Laughing-Hysterically-Poster-Art-Print.jpg&hash=ec7f05f5480801bfb26b13fe89908f2b)
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Nana nana nana nana,
Nana nana nana nana
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Just like a bat outta hell (going Westward), you thrill us with surprises!
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Well I'm glad somebody is thrilled, because my man thinks I'm batty.
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I would just ask him point blank: "What makes you think you are so much batter than me???"
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I would just ask him point blank: "What makes you think you are so much batter than me???"
But I don't want to be flattened like a pancake.
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.............But I don't want to be flattened like a pancake.
Ah ha! I spy an opportunity..........
We had no idea how to make a batter until we found a readymade pancake with the ingredients imprinted on it. I suppose you could say the Pancake taught us (http://www.zsl.org/zsl-london-zoo//animals/reptiles-and-fish/pancake-tortoise,79,AN.html).
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To continue......
We made our pancakes when we were camping in a horsfield (http://www.tortoisetrust.org/articles/horsfield.html). We had pitched our tent close to the edge of the field, so we felt rather marginated (http://www.tortoise-protection-group.org.uk/site/90.asp). But Hermann (http://www.tortoise-protection-group.org.uk/site/88.asp) had picked a good site. 'E chipped (http://www.tortoisetrust.org/articles/toreport.html) away some rock to make a good flat surface for our camp. Then he scuted around collecting firewood to make a curry. He's a real star (http://www.tortoisetrust.org/articles/elegans.html) and is spurred (http://www.tortoisetrust.org/articles/elegans.html) on by the heat of the moment. While he was cooking, I acted as his 'go for' (http://www.gophertortoise.org/tortoise/facts.htm).
After we ate, I burst forth with a loud belch. Leonard looked at me in disgust. "Leo, pard (http://www.tortoise-protection-group.org.uk/site/123.asp)on me!" I exclaimed, but 'e stun (http://www.bio.davidson.edu/people/midorcas/research/Contribute/box%20turtle/boxinfo.htm)ned & box (http://www.bio.davidson.edu/people/midorcas/research/Contribute/box%20turtle/boxinfo.htm)ed me around the ear anyway.
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Don, you're clearly a Chelonian expert. But isn't it hard for a depressed turtle to get out of his shell? Please don't snap at me if it's a silly question. Scientific minds wanna know!
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That gives me a frog in my throat
-
Well Demo, I could carry on apace, but I don’t want to plaster on these puns too thick. I’m sure you would not object, but I don’t want to test u do.
Did I mention that after we had had our fill, Sidney said he was tired, so I said, “Why don’t you have a nap Sid (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anapsid).” But fearful of his wife’s tongue, he said, “Nah, best not, chel on ian a moan at me.” One day she’ll be the death of him, if not by nagging, by her cooking. Our meal had been very nice but for her peas (http://www.tortoisetrust.org/articles/herpeswarning.htm), which were like bullets. Boy did we all sulc at ‘er (http://www.tortoisetrust.org/care/csulcata.html). She thought we couldn’t see her with her face pack on, but we spid ‘er (http://www.tortoisetrust.org/care/pyxis.html)
-
That gives me a frog in my throat
Well, it is a leap year.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F1058376-Cartoon-Black-And-White-Outline-Design-Of-A-Man-Laughing-Hysterically-Poster-Art-Print.jpg&hash=ec7f05f5480801bfb26b13fe89908f2b)
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JimBob:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi40.tinypic.com%2F2mnrvx0.gif&hash=3114a85bef7ba15d50964e4d0631ded3)
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Why don’t you have a nap Sid (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anapsid).”
I'm not Sid, but I once napped in the doorway opening near the Temple.
I almost forgot that event!
But now I'm glad I don't have amniotesia.
-
I'm not Sid, but I once napped in the doorway opening near the Temple.
Tch tch, your always up to some sort of skullduggery or another.
But now I'm glad I don't have amniotesia.
Eggselent. I'm glad to know that, because for getting that, I would have to give you the sac and al bu meny people out of work soon enough, the way things are. It is a heavy yolk for some to bare and memn brainier than most are left on the scrap heap of life.
BTW, just to put my mind at rest, am knees yer part of the leg what bends?
-
I'm not Sid,
Sid want's to be sure of this, so he asked me if there was any way he could confirm the fact using his new smart phone. "Yes," I informed him, "you can probably download an app Sid. Go on, tri apSid. Look at this one, its a sign ap Sid."
Here endeth the plug for smart phones. I wouldn't have one if you paid me. Just what was wrong with two empty baked bean cans and a piece of string?
-
They weren't worth beans.
-
Beans, beans are good for your heart. The more you eat...
-
Here endeth the plug for smart phones. I wouldn't have one if you paid me. Just what was wrong with two empty baked bean cans and a piece of string?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thekidswindow.co.uk%2Fimages%2FCMScontent%2FImage%2F469369%7ETin-Can-and-String-Telephone-Posters.jpg&hash=6001cd70994c77a069e1468db6e86110)
This is for those of you(th) who do NOT remember those ANCIENT times of OLD.
-
Just to put my mind at rest, am knees yer part of the leg what bends?
Knees?? Bend??
Oh...
I don't know...
I forgot!
-
Oldtimer's disease makes you forget.
-
According to one old timer I saw, it's always 9:15.
-
I would like to patella story about my naval adventure in Scapula Flow trying catch a carpal, but I think we kneed to cap off this line of puns before we get a ribbing.
I'd better get down on said knees, vetebrae (for to pray).
-
...before we get a ribbing.
1. What did the skeleton have for supper? Ribs.
2. What did the skeleton say to the bartender? Gimme a beer and a mop, please.
-
The first skeleton must have been male, and the second, female.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F1058376-Cartoon-Black-And-White-Outline-Design-Of-A-Man-Laughing-Hysterically-Poster-Art-Print.jpg&hash=ec7f05f5480801bfb26b13fe89908f2b)
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February is Fabulous Florida Strawberry Month
and also
International Hoof-care Month
Hoof you a care in the world??
-
International Hoof-care Month
Ofk horse you had to bring that up. But its only far ears prepared to listen.
Now for a mixed Spoonerism/pun
I must be off at ecloven a leck this morning.
-
Now for a mixed Spoonerism/pun
When I swallowed the spoon I found that I couldn't stir.
-
International Hoof-care Month
Ofk horse you had to bring that up.
Well, you wanted to buy the horse, so now it's time to pony up.
-
Aren't you old horse traders a bit long in the tooth for such unbridled performance? Harness that energy and stick manely to the tail we started to tell instead of saddling us with this other nonsense or you might get shoed away.
-
Aren't you old horse traders a bit long in the tooth for such unbridled performance? Harness that energy and stick manely to the tail we started to tell instead of saddling us with this other nonsense or you might get shoed away.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.creativeawards.co.uk%2Fshop%2Fimages%2Fcs001_horse.jpg&hash=2e8f462bc7ea4547e62c044f8a02e936)
For Donnah's unbridled performance!
-
.............But I don't want to be flattened like a pancake.
Ah ha! I spy an opportunity..........
We had no idea how to make a batter until we found a readymade pancake with the ingredients imprinted on it. I suppose you could say the Pancake taught us (http://www.zsl.org/zsl-london-zoo//animals/reptiles-and-fish/pancake-tortoise,79,AN.html).
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.doolbydoo.com%2Fstore%2Fimages%2FCloudBTwilightTurtle.jpg&hash=3f789e970bfc7e53d5d67fb0f1be3176)
Turtle Award For Don teaching us a batter way!
-
Ah ha! I spy an opportunity..........
We had no idea how to make a batter until we found a readymade pancake with the ingredients imprinted on it. I suppose you could say the Pancake taught us (http://www.zsl.org/zsl-london-zoo//animals/reptiles-and-fish/pancake-tortoise,79,AN.html).
Or, if said with a British accent, "the pancake tourght us".
-
In Rome, an old tortoise named Myrtle
Was in prison for stealing a girdle.
Then the Vatican City
Agreed to have pity
The headlines read: “Pope Springs a Turtle!”
-
If it weren't for the pope's pity, Myrtle would have had a slim chance.
-
My niece was telling me about a trip to the zoo with her grandparents and how she saw a very large turtle who approached them.
She exclaimed, "He was walking right tortoise!"
-
If it weren't for the pope's pity, Myrtle would have had a slim chance.
The pope, on his 2008 tour in the United States, skipped Mass.
-
Myrtle, the turtle,
the one who stole the girdle
had lost her hope
until the Pope
released her from the cell.
She cried "Thank you,
I will be true,
I was in a real snare,
now I'm out by a hare
so it's time to come out of my shell.
Yeah, okay, so they can't all be good.
-
Hope springs eternal!
(Pope springs a turtle)
-
Where is Hope Springs anyway, I can't find it on a map. And I can't find a country named Eternal either.
-
No, No, Donnah! Eternal is a State!!!
-
Where is Hope Springs anyway, I can't find it on a map.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fen%2Fd%2Fdc%2FHope_springs_title.JPEG&hash=dad0c88be031addf2edfb51d899c14e1)
It's 2 hours from me! (really) Thanks for showing me!
-
That looks like Ireland. Are you sure Eternal isn't a county (yes, I mean county, not country)?
-
That looks like Ireland.
Having managed a Spoonerism pun, I shall now try my hand at an antonym pun.
Hope Springs eh!
Watch out for the leprechaun. He turn all things to despair. dis pair fall's (http://psd.tumblr.com/post/55451646/falls-of-eternal-despair-possibly-by-martin) into that category. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmultiply.com%2Fmu%2Fjulianisme%2Fimage%2F2%3Athemegraphics%2Fphotos%2F33%2F1200x120%2F27%2FHappyStPatDaySmileyLeprechauns1.gif%3Fet%3DbVzD1ylDPxZUmulficiB0Q%26amp%3Bnmid%3D201336847&hash=3dcd357759688be35ef49c8bf9961802)
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That looks like Ireland. Are you sure Eternal isn't a county (yes, I mean county, not country)?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.makingwineisfun.com%2Fwine%2520corks.jpg&hash=5e660f09473a6efcd2045d03664fdeae)
You must mean Cork.
-
That looks like Ireland.
Having managed a Spoonerism pun, I shall now try my hand at an antonym pun.
Hope Springs eh!
Watch out for the leprechaun. He turn all things to despair. dis pair fall's (http://psd.tumblr.com/post/55451646/falls-of-eternal-despair-possibly-by-martin) into that category. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmultiply.com%2Fmu%2Fjulianisme%2Fimage%2F2%3Athemegraphics%2Fphotos%2F33%2F1200x120%2F27%2FHappyStPatDaySmileyLeprechauns1.gif%3Fet%3DbVzD1ylDPxZUmulficiB0Q%26amp%3Bnmid%3D201336847&hash=3dcd357759688be35ef49c8bf9961802)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcallplanets.com%2Fimages%2FAntonymDictionary.png&hash=38b21ac7a074fa73dab9c185d325a93b)
Don wins the Antonym Award!
-
Where are you finding all these awards? I had no idea they existed.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F1058376-Cartoon-Black-And-White-Outline-Design-Of-A-Man-Laughing-Hysterically-Poster-Art-Print.jpg&hash=ec7f05f5480801bfb26b13fe89908f2b)
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February is also
Responsible Pet Owner's Month
http://www.bikersagainstanimalcruelty.org/RPOM.html
Don't dodge your responsibilities to your pets!
It could be a catastrophe if you do!
Fishing around for more money can wait!
=^..^=
-
And don't give/flip your neighbor the bird!
-
Myrtle, the turtle,
the one who stole the girdle
had lost her hope
until the Pope
released her from the cell.
She cried "Thank you,
I will be true,
I was in a real snare,
now I'm out by a hare
so it's time to come out of my shell.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Feffc8746.jpg&hash=3c84603ce3e03fdc6f84694c61254527)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fanimationsa2z.com%2Fattachments%2FImage%2Fturtle%2Fturtle12.gif&hash=7179ef6e3db01a2eaee1977e0f552f61)
-
Where are you finding all these awards? I had no idea they existed.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thenakedscientists.com%2Fforum%2Findex.php%3Faction%3Ddlattach%3Btopic%3D31700.0%3Battach%3D15992&hash=2f1305475dd944f83c74a34fcdb7d289)
I humbly accept! With tears in my eyes!
I prepared some off-the-cuff remarks:
"To all the Distinguished Members of the Academy....."
Ohnevermind, wrong Award Acceptance Speech....
-
February is
Responsible Pet Owner's Month
Your dogged attention to annual events has paid off again.
Will those pets say grace before they tuck into breakfast.......... "For what we are about to receive........" For Spanish pets, would that translate to (here it comes, a Spanish pun) "Para que tu a punto de recibir......" And don't forget to scatter some food for the wild birds too. It doesn't cost much. I bought some wild bird seed and was pleasantly surprised when the shop keeper, Mr. Pratt, said "Here's jer bill".
I took a German Shepherd to the vet a few days ago. We went on a train which called at all stations to London Bridge.
We all love TNS, it has (wait for it...........) taught us many things.
Yippee! The trusty old 'tortoise' pun makes yet another appearance. I wold hate to keep them to myself, it would seem rather shellfish**
**Note the triple barrel pun.
Timmy the tortoise
went out and bought us
a lock for door to his house
not a padlock and chain
he did explain
but a real good mortice.
-
Para que tu a punto de recibir......
Careful!
Do you know the poop on parakeets?
...the shop keeper, Mr. Pratt
Shop keeper?
Hell no!
Mr. Pratt is a well known breeder of lab science animals.
So, he is definitely part of the rat race!
-
Timmy the tortoise
went out and bought us
a lock for door to his house
not a padlock and chain
he did explain
but a real good mortice.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thenakedscientists.com%2Fforum%2Findex.php%3Faction%3Ddlattach%3Btopic%3D31700.0%3Battach%3D15994&hash=f8236f42f6b1e666f963d2bfbb38e332)
This is terrific!
But your submission is a hare too late. Donnah walked off with The Turtle Poetry Award For February.
Stick your neck out earlier next time!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.loose-id.com%2Fimages%2FBE_TheConsolationPrize_coverlg.jpg&hash=a997c4e8421cdac3d161bfba145435da)
But as a Consolation Prize, you get to choose The Lucky Lady who is to receive a kiss from you!
And of course, you can also choose anyone author than Barbara Elsborg!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.loose-id.com%2Fimages%2FBarbaraElsborg.jpg&hash=719983c53cf96239beb4e18bae353199)
Barbara Elsborg
-
February 18, 2012 is
Cow Milked While Flying In An Airplane Day
You have an entire day to prepair for this. So, no rush.
But I'm sure your day will go fast.
Do we have to tip such a cow? A cow like this has never served me food. This one only serves milk.
-
But I'm sure your day will go fast.
Oh yes, I winged my way through it, time flies when you're doing nothing!
-
February 18, 2012 is
Cow Milked While Flying In An Airplane Day
Rather glad I missed out on this. It must play havoc with the rudder. I'll bet the pilot got into a bit of a flap. If the milking machine stops midflight, check the plug. At altitude, the fuse'll age very quickly.
Moo Mooo MOOOO Oi! Warm your hands before you grab my undercarriage!
Who's ever heard of cows flying anyway? (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fanimals%2F8.gif&hash=79671e67a72e1b3315d211f7ec70ff64)
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But I'm sure your day will go fast.
Oh yes, I winged my way through it...
Me too, when I first got hold of that hang glider.
-
Wow, 75 pages of hamming it up with the cream of the crop!
-
Wow, 75 pages of hamming it up with the cream of the crop!
I do believe you have inadvertently used the letter “o” here, when you should have used the letter “a”.
-
Who's ever heard of cows flying anyway? (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fanimals%2F8.gif&hash=79671e67a72e1b3315d211f7ec70ff64)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-HcByCBSV1PE%2FTdRltQu-ZoI%2FAAAAAAAAAdc%2FVKzrm7OEJ4w%2Fs1600%2FScreen%2Bshot%2B2011-05-18%2Bat%2B8.33.30%2BPM.png&hash=d145d04215ae80e7f16e66555ae6623c)
Don, please try to be just a little more patient.
They only need some help from us. Encouragement even.
But it's worth it: this is a high steaks game!
-
Wow, 75 pages of hamming it up with the cream of the crop!
Donnah, that reminds me of the ham who walked out of the hospital and said "I'm cured".
-
My pig has a rash on his snout. Should I put some oinkment on it?
-
Good idea. But first, I would get rid of the fly in the oinkment.
-
Wow, 75 pages of hamming it up with the cream of the crop!
Donnah, that reminds me of the ham who walked out of the hospital and said "I'm cured".
Was he a smoker?
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F1058376-Cartoon-Black-And-White-Outline-Design-Of-A-Man-Laughing-Hysterically-Poster-Art-Print.jpg&hash=ec7f05f5480801bfb26b13fe89908f2b)
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Was he a smoker?
He claims not to be a smoker, but I think he's telling porkies.
Now, can we please get this thread bac on track. We're getting a bit berhind with the puns. Come on all, I'll race yer (rasher) to the next subject.
-
Now, can we please get this thread bac on track.
Fine. But then who will bring home the bacon?
-
Perhaps we need a razor-back here to cut this thread wide open.
-
Yeah, then no one can hog it. Numerous comedic contributors keeps us in stitches.
-
I see JB & Donnah have cottoned on to my meaning. Sew a little seed and it shall bear fruit.
Should razor-back's be served in restaurants? And after eating would they be given the razor-bill? Would the culinary efforts of the chef raise our expectations and would he braise our beef? Would the menu display cut-throat prices?
Please don't get stroppy with me.
-
Yes, Don_1 this thread is piggy-backing off of your idea.
-
Just because I hog the sheets in bed doesn't necessarily mean that I'm all wrapped up in myself!
-
Geezer:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi40.tinypic.com%2F2mnrvx0.gif&hash=3114a85bef7ba15d50964e4d0631ded3)
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This is
Justice For Animals Week
http://advocacy.britannica.com/blog/advocacy/2011/02/national-justice-for-animals-week/
Are you courting disaster by not giving your pet(s) competent legal representation?
The Honorable Justice Soxon can be reached for consultation at:
1-800-LET'S-SUE
This really warrants your attention.
-
Now now, Demo. Don't get too carried away. You wouldn't want me to get all disgruntled?
-
Now now, Demo. Don't get too carried away. You wouldn't want me to get all disgruntled?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwaltsloan.com%2FDisgruntled%2520Poster%2520%28Full%29.jpg&hash=0359298350bc4e23c74e574f9d6b9085)
Geezer! Don't do it!
-
If a pig loses it's voice is it disgruntled?
-
That's enough of the boaring puns. Trotter long to the sowth hall now.
Would an 'anticemitic' be one who hates concrete?
-
My antiemetic hates nausea.
-
That's enough of the boaring puns.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimage.shutterstock.com%2Fdisplay_pic_with_logo%2F673891%2F673891%2C1287084137%2C3%2Fstock-photo-illustration-of-pigs-cows-and-horses-63004750.jpg&hash=f93044a05a2901b1e38ba8a1a995536b)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ft0.gstatic.com%2Fimages%3Fq%3Dtbn%3AANd9GcQZcAKE0v9xfY2lYT1rjokWw4VSN-4Ju09a7z3P6Cz4diKCyrGwPTlhTNH8&hash=f8ee0af5c5b1699fd8861529b64ac4d2)
Ok. Then how about neigh-boar puns??
Friendly looking neigh-boars! (From the same neigh-boar-hood ofk horse)
-
Disclosure: "ofk horse" is a Don_1ism
-
Neigh-boar; that's brilliant, you're milking this thread for every bit of humour.
-
It's the Milky.....(all together now..)...Way!!
-
Where'd you hear that, on the bo-vine?
-
Donnah, yes, a cow once saved my life, so it was bovine intervention.
I've been tuned in to the bo-vine ever since!
-
Ooh, I bet you're wondering how I knew
About your plans to make me blue
With some other longhorn that you knew before.
Between the two of us
You know I love you heifer-more.
It took me by surprise I must say,
When I found out yesterday.
Don't you know that...
(Chorus:)
I heard it through the bo-vine
Not much longer would you be mine.
Oh I heard it through the bo-vine,
Oh and I'm just about to lose my mind.
Honey, honey yeah.
I know that a Hereford ain't supposed to cry,
But these tears I can't hold inside.
Losin' you would end my life you see,
'Cause you mean that much to me.
You could have told me yourself
That you love someone else.
Instead...
(Chorus)
People say believe half of what you see,
Son, and none of what you hear.
I can't help bein' confused
If it's true please tell me dear?
Do you plan to let me go
For the other Angus you loved before?
Don't you know...
(Chorus)
Honey Honey I know
That you're letting me go
I said, "I heard it through the bo-vine"
Heard it through the bo-vine......
-
Do I detect a wart on the words of an all time classic, or is just the bumbling of a failed lyicist?
I suppose you'll start horsing around with Roy Rogers 'A Four Legged Friend' next. Or will you go barking mad with the theme to 'Lassie'.
-
Can you cook a bovine in the ovine?
-
Surely you must mean "a bun in the oven"?
-
And no, I didn't call you Shirley.
-
Can you cook a bovine in the ovine?
Or did you mean kick, not cook?
-
Sharp intake of breath - Ooo, the very thought of a kick in the ovines is enough to make your eyes water.
-
Sharp intake of breath - Ooo, the very thought of a kick in the ovines is enough to make your eyes water.
Water wrong with your eyes? Orange Onion you making a large flock out of a little flocker?
-
Is a flocker an animal that causes flockUlation?
What do you get when you cross-breed a donkey with and ONION?
from above ... make your eyes water. - above
--- an ass that will make you cry.
-
If you cross a donkey with can of lubricant, in outer space, would the result be asstroil?
-
What do you get when you cross-breed a donkey with an ONION?
A dungeon?
(Silent "g")
-
Don, help, I can't find any asstroil Awards!!!
-
If you cross a crow with a donkey is that crass?
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.rcgroups.net%2Fforums%2Fattachments%2F2%2F1%2F4%2F7%2F7%2F1%2Fa3234523-52-animated-laughing.gif&hash=ef291b0e8d52da4bcd28f822a80fbd54)
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Today is March 1. March is:
International Mirth Month
You think this is funny? It's not.
Don't people realize that the combination is NOT called "Frankincense and Mirth"?
I'm incensed about this!
And while we're on the subject, is there truly a difference between Heaven and Mirth?
-
And if you STILL think this is funny, try saying "Mirth Month" 30X. Rapidly!
-
Demo, what on mirth are you talking about?
In a Welsh mining town, after suckling for 10 minutes, a baby is said to have had its mirtha tid fill.
This unsubstantiated claim I have unmirthed needs to be investigated, so I suppose I mirth check up on it. It could just be something handed down in local mirthology.
I was going to buy a vintage car from a chap in the town until I discovered it was mirthless.
-
Don, help, I can't find any asstroil Awards!!!
I don't mind missing out on an award for first prize, just give me the consellation prize.
Its an asstroil plane.
-
Hehehe, an astral plane………
Which, by coincidence, brings me to this. I am going to heaven on Saturday.
‘Now what’s the old fool wittering on about?’ I hear you ask. ‘Has he finally cracked? Has he got religion? Is he off to Switzerland (http://www.dignitas.ch/index.php?lang=en) at the weekend?’
You didn’t ask! Oh well, I must be hearing things, anyway, I’m going to bore you with the answer.
In fact there is a clue in the fact that I am wittering (http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/british/witter?q=wittering#witter__3) (or alternatively and the real clue, Wittering (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:RAF_Wittering.jpg)).
Yes folks, I’m going up to the heavens in a plane.
‘Has he lost his marbles? Has he never flown before?’ I hear you ask. You didn’t ask! Tough, I’m going to answer again anyway.
No I have not lost my marbles, for to loose one’s marbles, one must have some in the first place. I have none. The only grey matter in my cranial cavity is dense fog. And yes, of course I’ve been up in a plane before, but this time I will be at the wheel, or joystick or whatever it is. I’m having a flying lesson.(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-excited001.gif&hash=8a90acae0f7ff56de89796e642cec91b) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Now I would reveal the coordinates of my aerial escapade so that you could avoid the vicinity for safety sake, {(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fparanoid%2F2.gif&hash=b6c89a93fcdc26f07540419a36cc278d)YIKES! Look out, RUN!} but to do so might endanger my person. ‘Twould only take a word in the right ear by someone so inclined, to render me in danger of attack by the RAF, USAF, RCAF, RAAF, ALA, Luftwaffe or some such. While in my single engine Piper (or whatever) I would rather not be confronted by a Typhoon (http://www.eurofighter.com/) or F35 (http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=f+35&hl=en&sa=X&qscrl=1&nord=1&rlz=1T4ADRA_enGB335GB335&biw=1280&bih=610&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnsu&tbnid=4glxu1qBb8-n_M:&imgrefurl=http://www.defenseindustrydaily.com/F-35-Joint-Strike-Fighter-Events-Contracts-2009-2010-updated-05126/&docid=aCh8ZGDw5vKTTM&imgurl=http://media.defenseindustrydaily.com/images/AIR_F-35A_Frontal_ATK_lg.jpg&w=800&h=640&ei=n2hPT8zwFomO0AW0r5HICw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=441&vpy=169&dur=5376&hovh=201&hovw=251&tx=124&ty=112&sig=117592312917873941816&page=1&tbnh=113&tbnw=161&start=0&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:0).
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia.airspacemag.com%2Fimages%2Fupside-down.jpg&hash=459992d23f584df6e23d197233845cde)
Don! Stop! You can't get into Heaven upside down!
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If you cross a donkey with can of lubricant, in outer space, would the result be asstroil?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thenakedscientists.com%2Fforum%2Findex.php%3Faction%3Ddlattach%3Btopic%3D31700.0%3Battach%3D16068&hash=e3571ef227570ea7f1e3665c16bb2c66)
No fancy Award for Don; just an Astral Plain [sp] Award for Don_1.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia.airspacemag.com%2Fimages%2Fupside-down.jpg&hash=459992d23f584df6e23d197233845cde)
Don! Stop! You can't get into Heaven upside down!
No, stop messin' about!
Ooer, I feel a little (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-sick029.gif&hash=fd400235e869ddd58950723ef01f44c2) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
I hope the mechanic is better than Kenneth Williams, Tony Hancock had enough trouble with him in The Test Pilot. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUS9htHp580)
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I am going to heaven on Saturday.
What the hell are you talking about???
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Does this mean I win an Antonym Award???
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Indeed it does and she is winging her way to sunny California even now. Here is picture of her, so you won't miss her when you go to collect her from the airport.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mariannescostumehire.co.uk%2FPICS%2Fpanto%2Fdame2.JPG&hash=397c1e3b3c58bd6f18437fa59f5fde25)
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Whoops! I seem to have made something of a faux pas, could have sworn you asked for an 'Auntie Min'.
Oh well, nevermind, I'm sure you'll find Auntie Minnie most agreeable.
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Indeed it does and she is winging her way to sunny California even now. Here is picture of her, so you won't miss her when you go to collect her from the airport.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mariannescostumehire.co.uk%2FPICS%2Fpanto%2Fdame2.JPG&hash=397c1e3b3c58bd6f18437fa59f5fde25)
I can't wait!! I don't know how to THANK YOU, Don! (Don't worry I'll come up with something heheh!)
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Whoops! I seem to have made something of a faux pas, could have sworn you asked for an 'Auntie Min'.
Oh well, nevermind, I'm sure you'll find Auntie Minnie most agreeable.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.rcgroups.net%2Fforums%2Fattachments%2F2%2F1%2F4%2F7%2F7%2F1%2Fa3234523-52-animated-laughing.gif&hash=ef291b0e8d52da4bcd28f822a80fbd54)
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Its flying lesson day today......
Tally ho................ Up, up and away......... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.smileyvault.com%2Falbums%2Fmisc%2Fsmiley-vault-misc-076.gif&hash=9bbd2da89c93be96206018e6f5093027) (http://www.smileyvault.com/)
Off we go chaps ........ AGHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
We apologise for the loss of transmission, normal (if it can be called 'normal') service may be resumed.
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Whoops! I seem to have made something of a faux pas, could have sworn you asked for an 'Auntie Min'.
Oh well, nevermind, I'm sure you'll find Auntie Minnie most agreeable.
More agreeable than my Auntie Hissssstamine who is always either jealous or boo-ing someone.
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Its flying lesson day today......
Tally ho................ Up, up and away......... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.smileyvault.com%2Falbums%2Fmisc%2Fsmiley-vault-misc-076.gif&hash=9bbd2da89c93be96206018e6f5093027) (http://www.smileyvault.com/)
Off we go chaps ........ AGHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
We apologise for the loss of transmission, normal (if it can be called 'normal') service may be resumed.
Don? Hello? Are you still with us? Over and out!
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It's flying lesson day today......
We have something in common.
When my last flight hit turbulence, all the other passengers and I went flying.
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Hmmm, flying, Piper, astral plane.....is there smoke involved here too? Maybe a few mushrooms?
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Hmmm, flying, Piper, astral plane.....is there smoke involved here too? Maybe a few mushrooms?
High just don't know, really, Donnah!
But I do know this, that when I was a short order cook while still in college, there was mushroom for improvement.
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Good Grief Demo, you've clocked up 6666 posts. Does this make you one (or six) better than the devil?
demografx
Global Moderator
Neilep Level Member
Posts: 6666
I think it means you'd have a devil of a time making that many posts.
Oh no! This Friday, I will be 66! Is this a conspiracy????????????????????? Quick, someone start a new Science Thread!!
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Don_1 to air traffic control, requesting permission to land.
Air traffic control to Don_1, you are cleared to land on runway 2. Make your final approach.
Yes folks, I done didded it!
When the instructor said we'd be using a Tomahawk, I got a little concerned. Maybe it would be a case of "Circle the planes, the Injuns are coming." Or perhaps I'd be sat astride a cruise missile.
Look:-
That's me up there in that thar airyplane.
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Oh no! This Friday, I will be 66! Is this a conspiracy????????????????????? Quick, someone start a new Science Thread!!
Oh my gosh! 66? Strewth! Don't do headstands when you're 66, or you'll be 99 and may FLAKE (http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2010/8/23/1282573536509/99-Flake-ice-cream-006.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2010/aug/24/99-flake-ice-cream&h=276&w=460&sz=15&tbnid=0wyEnpJ28Rs1_M:&tbnh=72&tbnw=120&prev=/search%3Fq%3D99%2Bice%2Bcream%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=99+ice+cream&docid=CkQl3KXyDxOEeM&hl=en-GB&sa=X&ei=IZJUT_rcMMjS8gPPtaTwBQ&ved=0CEQQ9QEwBA&dur=4958) out.
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Hmmm, flying, Piper, astral plane.....is there smoke involved here too? Maybe a few mushrooms?
No, no, I swear I have not been at the fungas or any herbal stuff. I need no mind expanding substances. My mind expanded long ago and is now expended.
Well done, you have pushed Demo into making a 'mushroom' pun.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thenakedscientists.com%2Fforum%2Findex.php%3Faction%3Ddlattach%3Btopic%3D31700.0%3Battach%3D16076%3Bimage&hash=008e2fe7904c7d049022524532115e0f)
That's me up there in that thar airyplane.
C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S, Don!!!!!!
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I need no mind expanding substances. My mind expanded long ago and is now expended.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F1058417-Royalty-Free-Vector-Clip-Art-Illustration-Of-A-Cartoon-Man-Laughing-Hysterically.jpg&hash=d64728941187e639e619359212cfd626)
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I requested permission for 'take off' from the control tower, but they said I should remain fully clothed during the flight.
"Bank to the left" said the instructor.
"Is it Barclays?" I retorted, "If it is, I'll drop this sick bag on Bob Diamond's head, that'll be one Bonus he wasn't reckoning on".
(I should point out that the flying school was Bonus Aviation, otherwise that last pun makes no sense. Not that I have a habit of making sense anyway).
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Congratulations Don_1 on your flight with the birds!!! Does this make you a bird brain?
I like your Bonus system for the banksters.
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Congratulations Don_1 on your flight with the birds!!! Does this make you a bird brain?
Propellor-head?
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I requested permission for 'take off' from the control tower, but they said I should remain fully clothed during the flight.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gossipcop.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F11%2FNaked-Man-Hayden-Panettiere1.jpg&hash=7c9aee71e99855345e33bc6d514b7df7)
Don_1 wins The Funny Nude Award!
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I like your Bonus system for the banksters.
Are you implying that they're gangbankers??
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......... Does this make you a bird brain?
What an insult! To birds......
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I put some magazines in an ovenproof dish and made a shortcrust pastry top for it. Cooked in a moderate oven for 45 mins.
I call it a Magpie.
Well you may ask, 'What is he crowing on about now?', and you might wonder if I have gone raven bonkers. I would ask my nieghbour, Jack, for his opinion om my mental state, but I am reluctant to knock on Jacksdoor since it is an awful shade of jayd, which makes me feel sick. I have said to him "Cor! Vus a sickly colour."
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Oh, I know Jack! (Uh, oh oh, I think I just insulted myself.) Is it the Jack who lives at four and twenty Blackbird Lane?
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Q. Where does a blackbird go for a drink?
A. To a crow bar.
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Is that where you have a very slight shot at getting drunk and taking "advantage of" Sherill Crow?
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Yes! In fact, Ms. Crow was once in the bar's telephone booth, but she had no money so she had to make a collect caw.
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....... Does this make you a bird brain?
What an insult! To birds......
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.webweaver.nu%2Fclipart%2Fimg%2Fnature%2Fanimals%2Fchicken-egg.gif&hash=0821aea3f97bb9db870d318ebe215468)
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Now I would reveal the coordinates of my aerial escapade so that you could avoid the vicinity for safety sake, {(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fparanoid%2F2.gif&hash=b6c89a93fcdc26f07540419a36cc278d)YIKES! Look out, RUN!}
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F_PZOsEmYgZyI%2FTIJHoJgbyQI%2FAAAAAAAAAk4%2FDS7lb9a2DZM%2Fs1600%2Ffamily-guy-peter-griffin7.jpg&hash=77679fbb4c53bf4b741244511c9baae9)
Don't wait! Find out NOW when Don_1 is scheduled to fly near YOU!
Brought to you severely by the International Flight Safety Warning Patrol
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Hehehe, that poor fella must have been at 520 04' 08.20"N x 00 37' 12.91"W on Saturday.
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...... and now back to the puns.
It's raining and cold here, I don't know whether to wear my Macaw overcoat.
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Ma cawf went away after I took some strong cawf syrup.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-UbbxGxzVzAA%2FTcQw6KWvwFI%2FAAAAAAAABdE%2FZ_sEqxDqs3s%2Fs400%2FScarlet%2BMacaw.jpg&hash=46e5f3f86dd7d1d5e7e2ef9cace0b7d0)
No pun. Just a pretty macaw pic!
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It's raining and cold here, I don't know whether to wear my Macaw overcoat.
Oh caw'mon, Don, you know you just wanna wear it so you can show it off and caw crow about it.
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I thought you told me you had bought a MacIncaw
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Nice recall, JimBob! But if you carefully read my little footnote remark, I actually said that I should have bought a MacIncaw.
Instead - like a stubborn old fool who doesn't listen to his own sons who also recommend MacIncaution and MacIntuition - I bought an HP - NOTHING to crow about.
In fact, it's been the caws of soooooo much misery!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fe%2Fe3%2FMacintosh_128k_transparency.png%2F220px-Macintosh_128k_transparency.png&hash=4da672edf6a9434e3ccde6e695023125)
January 25th, 2012 is
MacIncaw Computer Day
"why oh why did I buy a PC instead???"
demo
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fe%2Fe3%2FMacintosh_128k_transparency.png%2F220px-Macintosh_128k_transparency.png&hash=4da672edf6a9434e3ccde6e695023125)
January 25th, 2012 is
MacIncaw Computer Day
"why oh why did I buy a PC instead???"
demo
Do the printers use only Mac ink or can they use 3rd party cartridges
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-UbbxGxzVzAA%2FTcQw6KWvwFI%2FAAAAAAAABdE%2FZ_sEqxDqs3s%2Fs400%2FScarlet%2BMacaw.jpg&hash=46e5f3f86dd7d1d5e7e2ef9cace0b7d0)
No pun. Just a pretty macaw pic!
Beautiful, just beautiful!!! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-love008.gif&hash=a6645033536137576704b86c9c11a7ec) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
And how about these:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.surfbirds.com%2Fmedia%2Fgallery_photos%2F20070511051621.jpg&hash=58d1ac3c1a3d979c91c93b8be349acae)
No, its not a Photoshop job, these are Hyacinth Macaws.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fe%2Fe3%2FMacintosh_128k_transparency.png%2F220px-Macintosh_128k_transparency.png&hash=4da672edf6a9434e3ccde6e695023125)
January 25th, 2012 is
MacIncaw Computer Day
"why oh why did I buy a PC instead???"
demo
Do the printers use only Mac ink or can they use 3rd party cartridges
MacPrinters are unwieldy.
Instead, I strongly urge and recommend: a BigMac® (see pic below), no fries, hold the cholesterol. And a Strawberry MacShake® - But a MacDeepFriedApplePie® is optional.
MacPaper for your MacPrinter should be selected carefully. Get double-ply so it can work double shift in the lavatory.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F_U6ft4j99VTI%2FSLSi6FvYCKI%2FAAAAAAAAADU%2FcQ1fdE0yFGs%2Fs1600%2Fbig_mac.jpg&hash=ab00eca75d0f4cef284b1e31ae64a9a3)
Don't let this BigMac® steer you from your nutritional/dietetic goals.
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And how about these:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.surfbirds.com%2Fmedia%2Fgallery_photos%2F20070511051621.jpg&hash=58d1ac3c1a3d979c91c93b8be349acae)
No, its not a Photoshop job, these are Hyacinth Macaws.
Lovely!
Lovely!
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iMac, aw.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi278.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fkk100%2Fchuckles32257%2FAnimations%2FLaughing_goofy-1.gif&hash=aff7b978736850e7c4b97d9a968f0602)
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iMac, aw.
Demo seams to have found that awfuly funny, ore did he? I have a mined to remined him to observe the ground rules.
I believe that's halft of my duty, on the face of it.
Any deviation from the norm may result in a goo feeling in the gut.
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iMac, aw.
Shouldn't that read, "iMac®, aw." ?
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iMac, aw.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi278.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fkk100%2Fchuckles32257%2FAnimations%2FLaughing_goofy-1.gif&hash=aff7b978736850e7c4b97d9a968f0602)
iMac, aw.
Demo seams to have found that awfuly funny, ore did he? I have a mined to remined him to observe the ground rules.
I believe that's halft of my duty, on the face of it.
Any deviation from the norm may result in a goo feeling in the gut.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fuselessgraphics.com%2Fdoglol.gif&hash=5a39551073c7c1ca04692632813d76d7)
(Pooch is especially delighted to see his competitor, Goofy, goo feated)
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Many of us do it, I do it regular, we have all goofed at times, but Walt Disnee*.
*Scott's accent required.
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Goofy gives some people Disney* spells.
*American accent required
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March 12 - March 18, 2012 is:
International Brain Awareness Week
Are you aware that brawn is not the only thing in life?
Or is this a no-brainer?
Don't be in the rain too long. Umbrella time!
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Hmmm, just how plastic is the brain?
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March 12 - March 18, 2012 is:
International Brain Awareness Week
Are you aware that brawn is not the only thing in life?
Or is this a no-brainer?
Don't be in the rain too long. Umbrella time!
I'm really not interested in what Brian is wearing.
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JB should be able to come up with a few puns here, cor, Tex 'cmon, lobe a few puns at this one, don't be nervous.
Let us know when you've posted some, there's a bell, um, where is it now, oh yes, its over there, but only temporaly.
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Hmmm, just how plastic is the brain?
Hmmm.
Dunno.
But a plastic surgeon wants to put my nose to the grindstone.
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I'm really not interested in what Brian is wearing.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.editorialphoto.com%2Fresources%2Fimg%2Fbrian_smith_ep_nudegolf_3.jpg&hash=a7e801b7f3c96a1d69b8177cff248f7b)
Which one are you and which one is Brian?
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I'm really not interested in what Brian is wearing.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.editorialphoto.com%2Fresources%2Fimg%2Fbrian_smith_ep_nudegolf_3.jpg&hash=a7e801b7f3c96a1d69b8177cff248f7b)
Which one are you and which one is Brian?
I'm the one who grabbed the wrong end of his club and lost his balls. Are you the one trying to hide behind the flag pole?
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcscc.edu%2FUpdate%2Fimages%2Flaughing.smileface2.gif&hash=9dc9ba7453eaf48e7396eee39d850d2f)
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March 13, 2012 is:
Open An Umbrella Indoors Day
Is the weather bureau an umbrella organization?
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March 13, 2012 is:
Open An Umbrella Indoors Day
Is the weather bureau an umbrella organization?
I get the feeling they don't use PC's, only Mac's.
News of unrest at the Met Office was described today as being nothing more than a storm in a tea cup. Threats of resignation by chief forecaster Sunny Jim (hailed as one of the best in the world) turned out to be a hoax. Mr Jim said he would continue his rain as chief forecaster and he didn't want such tittle-tattle to cloud his team's attention from looking for the next window of opportunity to any degree.
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But Mr. Jim's rain disappeared in a hurry cain't you tell?
Protestors only had to smog him in the chest and simply take over! Easy!
Snow wonder the revolution was so mild.
Mr. Jim complained of a ligament that was torn? Much ado about nothing!
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If you want to be a weather forecaster, you need a lot of degrees.
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If you want to be a weather forecaster, you need a lot of degrees.
Maybe so, but an acumulus much knowledge can cloud the mind.
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Cloud the mind? Not always. Didn't Cumulonimbus discover America in 1492?
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I'm the one who grabbed the wrong end of his club and lost his balls.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.anneofcarversville.com%2Fstorage%2Fbbbb-1.png%3F__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION%3D1269174900612&hash=80fa274fd977e0c1e9d767da51533cda)
And yes, The Brass Award goes to Don_1!
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And yes, The Brass Award goes to Don_1!
Typical! Not gold, not silver, not even bronze! Just brass. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F_H_mfjCLS1K0%2FTPuXXJ9rjGI%2FAAAAAAAAHGA%2FaMbrXGIy_yw%2Fs200%2Fsad%252Bsmiley.gif&hash=b3a55096d289d32c1038c5446fec5926)
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If you want to be a weather forecaster, you need a lot of degrees.
If you want to go far an hight, you certainly do.
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And yes, The Brass Award goes to Don_1!
Typical! Not gold, not silver, not even bronze! Just brass.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F_H_mfjCLS1K0%2FTPuXXJ9rjGI%2FAAAAAAAAHGA%2FaMbrXGIy_yw%2Fs200%2Fsad%252Bsmiley.gif&hash=b3a55096d289d32c1038c5446fec5926)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.martincaryhorowitz.com%2Fimages%2FShields_and_Objects%2Ftwo_gold_balls.jpg&hash=802a9cf506929b8f9160bf66da8878bc)
Here already! Stop! You know how to get your weigh!
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If you want to be a weather forecaster, you need a lot of degrees.
If you want to go far an hight, you certainly do.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fuselessgraphics.com%2Fdoglol.gif&hash=5a39551073c7c1ca04692632813d76d7)
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Good Grief Demo, you've clocked up 6666 posts. Does this make you one (or six) better than the devil?
demografx
Global Moderator
Neilep Level Member
Posts: 6666
I think it means you'd have a devil of a time making that many posts.
Oh no! This Friday, I will be 66! Is this a conspiracy????????????????????? Quick, someone start a new Science Thread!!
And today the $balance on one of my accounts was...666!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebooksmileys.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F12%2FSmileyShocked.png&hash=059ab601374d4865c8a6aadebd65a4aa)
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March is:
Berries and Cherries Month
http://www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov/month/berries.html
http://www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov/month/cherry.html
Berry interesting month is March!
Cherish your fruit intake.
Straw/blue/black/rasp - it's all berry tasty!
Watch your posture; don't drupe
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March is:
Berries and Cherries Month
I presume you found this in some seedy newspaper under currant affairs. Probably berried away in the small print. How many times did you have to go fru it before you found this star? By the way, are you sure you have got the date right? The way I figure it, it should be in September and Anna would have agreed had she not been banned. I think I told you they had to ban Anna, her posts were getting too fruity. Its enough to give you the pip.
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........
And today the $balance on one of my accounts was...666!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebooksmileys.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F12%2FSmileyShocked.png&hash=059ab601374d4865c8a6aadebd65a4aa)
I just thought I'd check, and low and behold, I have £6.66 in my pocket! Would you believe it?!?!?!
What??? You wouldn't believe it! I don't blame you, its a pack o' lies.
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March is:
Berries and Cherries Month
I presume you found this in some seedy newspaper under currant affairs. Probably berried away in the small print. How many times did you have to go fru it before you found this star? By the way, are you sure you have got the date right? The way I figure it, it should be in September and Anna would have agreed had she not been banned. I think I told you they had to ban Anna, her posts were getting too fruity. Its enough to give you the pip.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F209.160.24.31%2Fds_img_direct.php%3Fi%3Dgarfani05a.gif%26amp%3Bt%3D8%26amp%3Bd%3Diklzadiyjf%26amp%3Bx%3D360%26amp%3By%3D480%26amp%3Bl1%3D472%26amp%3Bl2%3D924&hash=165da70cd9bddf4afc127d73e278afef)
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...its a pack o' lies.
I tried to pack myself in a suitcase.
I could hardly contain myself.
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I could have told you it would not suit you, not even for a brief moment and had you tried it over-night, you would probably have caught a nasty cold.
Attache!
Bless you. Now you need to flight off this infection. This is indeed a sad case. I shall ask Dr Justin to attend to you, justin case you need some pills.
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Thank you for the Gesundheit - I had a pressing urge to sneeze on this train. I need something to read, I'm board. If I train myself, discipline will come. We only pass this way once.
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Are we all uh, bored?
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Are we all uh, bored?
The vegetable never taken aboard ship is a leek.
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March 19 - March 25
Act Happy Week
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wildsoundmovies.com%2Fimages%2Fhappy_feet_animation.jpg&hash=64bccc30177def5a1327533f1b3a535b)
Actcept happyness EVERY week!
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Does this mean I have to actcentuate any delusions of joy I may have? That even in my deepest, darkest hour of foreboding I must go around with a perpetual grin about my mush?
Oh woe, woe and thrice woe, that this sour faced old groat must perambulate the streets of doom with a gladiatorial skip in his step, despite the blissters on his feet. Will nobody joyn me in my hour of ha pe(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fmouthzippedshut%2F1.gif&hash=037747c4bf0ab86db4337375f3c71610)....................C - E - N - S - O - R - E - D.....................................
No, no, I really can't do that pun
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You must grin and bear it!
Happy hope reigns supreme!
Why not joyn in on all the fun?
Hippety hoppety happy to you!
Sadists cannot make you sad. Only you can.
Act happy.
Be happy.
Smile even though your heart is bypassed!
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You must grin and bear it!
How kind of you to offer. I'll have a double with tonic, ice and a slice of lemon.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fblog.sfgate.com%2Fcmcginnis%2Fwp-content%2Fblogs.dir%2F2102%2Ffiles%2Fbritish-airways-first-food%2Fimg_0458.jpg&hash=3f0f7f63879827c0467c68614cd05fa1)
And a proper serving with nuts on the side.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F_ltObVTfAUAM%2FTNmGUKSV1fI%2FAAAAAAAAATU%2F32Tn73XcvZk%2Fs1600%2F2010-11-06%2B23.17.09.jpg&hash=f0c647e97c67ef40df0e53d138b4c5a2)
It's a sloe month.
But please don't fizzle out on us!
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And a proper serving with nuts on the side.
Nuts on the side! Now there's a novelty. By what strange quark of evolution did that happen?
More to the point, vod kan you do with such a strange adaptation?
Do you get laughed at or maybe even beerated? Do they get in they way when you rummage through your pockets searching for those elusive sweets covered in fluff, the ones called brand 'A', brand 'X' or brand 'E'. Its a sham paying such a price for unprotected sweeties. But there's no sense in wineing at the makers, they just bay'le sweets should not be kept in your pocket'. I think its a con, yakking on about how you should & shouldn't keep your sweeties.
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It has been suggested that I have a drink problem.
I do not.
I drink, I get drunk, I fall over, no problem. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-eatdrink048.gif&hash=1a29116b950efd292558fd33415610ec) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
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And a proper serving with nuts on the side.
Nuts on the side! Now there's a novelty. By what strange quark of evolution did that happen?
More to the point, vod kan you do with such a strange adaptation?
Do you get laughed at or maybe even beerated? Do they get in they way when you rummage through your pockets searching for those elusive sweets covered in fluff, the ones called brand 'A', brand 'X' or brand 'E'. Its a sham paying such a price for unprotected sweeties. But there's no sense in wineing at the makers, they just bay'le sweets should not be kept in your pocket'. I think its a con, yakking on about how you should & shouldn't keep your sweeties.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.shaunnahall.com%2FSHAUNNA_UPDATES%2Faof%2Faof_logo.jpg&hash=82f5518b0a6551b1c69fc8ddd09cc325)
Don_1 is hereby inducted into The Alcohol Of Fame!!
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Don_1 is hereby inducted into The Alcohol Of Fame!!
How.... er.. howv ... ve.... ve... ferrrrry (*HIC*) ferrry ferrrruurry (*HIC*) kahnd o... o....... ovvvvv lew. Una (*HIC*) cuuuztuuuummmmmmmmmed azz ah am (*HIC*) tooooOOooo mahkking speeeeecheeees (*HIC*)
OHhhh ta ta ta bluuuuuuuudy heeel wiv it (*HIC*), leeets huv a dri dri driiiink (*HIC*) (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fdrinking%2F2.gif&hash=8973674950c1fe1630ba7ecd2283843c)
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Alan, estranged brother of Olympic Gold medalist Seb Coe, is reported to be suffering from Tourette's syndrome.
Headline........ "Al Coe holler"
Titter ye not, it could have been true but for one flight problem. Can ye gueff what it might be?
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Don_1 is hereby inducted into The Alcohol Of Fame!!
How.... er.. howv ... ve.... ve... ferrrrry (*HIC*) ferrry ferrrruurry (*HIC*) kahnd o... o....... ovvvvv lew. Una (*HIC*) cuuuztuuuummmmmmmmmed azz ah am (*HIC*) tooooOOooo mahkking speeeeecheeees (*HIC*)
OHhhh ta ta ta bluuuuuuuudy heeel wiv it (*HIC*), leeets huv a dri dri driiiink (*HIC*) (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fdrinking%2F2.gif&hash=8973674950c1fe1630ba7ecd2283843c)
Now THAT is the kind of Acceptance Speech we can all admonish admire!
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Alan, estranged brother of Olympic Gold medalist Seb Coe, is reported to be suffering from Tourette's syndrome.
Headline........ "Al Coe holler"
Titter ye not, it could have been true but for one flight problem. Can ye gueff what it might be?
Don_1 keeps telling us that his drink is non-alcoholic, but where is the proof?
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And a proper serving with nuts on the side.
Nuts on the side! Now there's a novelty. By what strange quark of evolution did that happen?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing024.gif&hash=82e284d10ae53f61696718c244908fe3)
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A liar who doesn't pass the bar can grin and beer it.
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A liar who doesn't pass the bar can grin and beer it.
I stole an invention and then told patent lies.
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"I stole an invention and then told patent lies."
I hope you don't mind if I copy righting you have already done, but it took me a while to understand this, then it finally registered. Copying is not normally part of my trade, mark my words.
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A liar who doesn't pass the bar can grin and beer it.
Especially when they are selling cheap bar grin booze.
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A liar who doesn't pass the bar can grin and beer it.
Especially when they are selling cheap bar grin booze.
My wife is so thrifty she can smell a bar grin a mall* away.
*shopping centre
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Bar gin. Bin there.
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Done vat.
-
Award ceremony speech pre-edit:
Don_1 is hereby abduc...inducted into The Alcohol Of Fame!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgifsoup.com%2Fwebroot%2Fanimatedgifs%2F754962_o.gif&hash=f60b46cd574315a7b174b21a9965e513)
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"I stole an invention and then told patent lies."
I hope you don't mind if I copy righting you have already done, but it took me a while to understand this, then it finally registered. Copying is not normally part of my trade, mark my words.
Why this infringement on our (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.virginiabusinesslitigationlawyer.com%2FTrademark.jpg&hash=0bcf9ee85ed18d169a858eba8104aa89)ight to copy or plagiarize ideas with abandon?
Or is the idea now to say, "Oh, don't worry, I'll get around to it (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Funder30ceo.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F11%2FTrademark-Symbol_32.png.pagespeed.ce_.h_Xo14X3Ie.png&hash=6826017c02594e95eab9ad6830f5d1be)orrow. Or whenever."?
Let's work this out like gentlemen. Please have your barrister/lawyer call my lawyer at 1-800-LET'S-SUE*.
*Toll free - applies to Dominican Republic only. Elsewhere, outrageous, illegal, ultra-usurious charges apply. This cleverly disguised "toll free call" (haha) is not intended to be a blatant scam for my personal profit. Like my own little piggy bank. Oh no! It is merely there to help defray my legal expenses in a disgustingly litigious society such as ours. See you all in court!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-eatdrink048.gif&hash=1a29116b950efd292558fd33415610ec)
The Alcohol Of Fame could use a mascot...hmmm...do you have his phone number at the bar?
Might he work for bar nuts?
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Need his phone number eh? Don't worry, ah mond the case, just been pecan in the directory, but no luck there. Just in cash ew are worried, hey, zel time to find it.
Last I heard of him, his wife was having trouble with a particular undergarment. She said "Oh dear, my bra's ill." and made a bolt for the door.
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Is that it in a nutshell? That's the nuttiest thing I ever heard. Bolt who am I to question your credentials?
Almond joying myself.
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I used to like that diving couple, you may remember them, Almond & Michaela Denis.
Hmmm...... I seem to crossthreaded myself......... Soaked nuts anybody? (http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=43523.0)
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Hmmm...... I seem to crossthreaded myself.........
It's contagious, I tell you!
An elderly gent walked into an ice cream parlour and struggled to the counter. "Give me a chocolate sundae please." He said to the girl serving. She asked him "Crushed nuts Grandpa?" He replied, "No, rheumatism."
Yeah, no rheum at the inn, either!
-
Joseph asked the inn keeper if he had a room for the night. "No," said the inn keeper, "all my rooms are taken." Joseph pleaded with inn keeper, "But my wife is pregnant and close to labour, she must have somewhere safe and warm to rest." "I haven't got a room spare." The inn keeper retorted.
Mary turned to Joseph and said "See, no rheum, ah toid you to book in advance, but would you? No. 'There'll be plenty of space' you said......(nag, nag, nag, nag)".
The inn keeper's son, Arthur, said "Pregnant eh? Desperate eh? Right, you can bed down in the stable for 3 shekels each." Joseph handed over 6 shekels and the inn keeper's son said, "There'll be another 3 shekels to pay if your wife has the baby, 'cause then there'll be 3 of you."
The inn keeper said "aths ma boy! Arthur, rit is down in the register."
Joseph complained "chor! la rent is high here."
Mary, tired and hungry, looked at the stable and said, "A sight for psor ias is that stable."
Later that night, the angel Enza descended from heaven and knocked on the stable window. Joseph openned the window and in flew Enza. Joseph said to Enza "I'm charging you a 7 shekel fee ver coming into our stable". Enza paid up and buggered off, shouting at Joseph, "Can sir justify these exorbitant charges?"
Mary gave birth to a baby boy and they named him after Grandpa Cohen ...........Manny.
Here the story endeth.
Apologies to Christians for poking fun at your beliefs. No malice intended.
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Apologies to Christians for poking fun at your beliefs. No malice intended.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.personal.psu.edu%2Fjcc5304%2Fblogs%2Fla101H%2Fbonfire%2520frenzy.jpg&hash=ba8c540a55eec94df138263e7dd7ef59)
Don't worry, Don!
Just use that portable pocket cooling fan I sent you for Xmas!!
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YIKES!!! I'm off out 'a here...... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fscared%2F8.gif&hash=af72a65cf39ee2235a33ea00127fabf6)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.animalclipart.net%2F_small%2F0511-0703-1210-3958.jpg&hash=af6f2082505222dd96a61c6b52fa974e)
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Joseph asked the inn keeper if he had a room for the night. "No," said the inn keeper, "all my rooms are taken." Joseph pleaded with inn keeper, "But my wife is pregnant and close to labour, she must have somewhere safe and warm to rest." "I haven't got a room spare." The inn keeper retorted.
Mary turned to Joseph and said "See, no rheum, ah toid you to book in advance, but would you? No. 'There'll be plenty of space' you said......(nag, nag, nag, nag)".
The inn keeper's son, Arthur, said "Pregnant eh? Desperate eh? Right, you can bed down in the stable for 3 shekels each." Joseph handed over 6 shekels and the inn keeper's son said, "There'll be another 3 shekels to pay if your wife has the baby, 'cause then there'll be 3 of you."
The inn keeper said "aths ma boy! Arthur, rit is down in the register."
Joseph complained "chor! la rent is high here."
Mary, tired and hungry, looked at the stable and said, "A sight for psor ias is that stable."
Later that night, the angel Enza descended from heaven and knocked on the stable window. Joseph openned the window and in flew Enza. Joseph said to Enza "I'm charging you a 7 shekel fee ver coming into our stable". Enza paid up and buggered off, shouting at Joseph, "Can sir justify these exorbitant charges?"
Mary gave birth to a baby boy and they named him after Grandpa Cohen ...........Manny.
Here the story endeth.
Apologies to Christians for poking fun at your beliefs. No malice intended.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.medgadget.com%2Fimg%2Faward_lr.gif&hash=04f18a165ef1f593b159d2dccc78a843)
Don_1 is unstoppable! (And funny!)
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April 1 is
April Fools or All Fools Day
I just saw gasoline selling for one dollar (£0.63) a gallon, but then I realized it's just an April fuel's joke.
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I just saw gasoline selling for one dollar (£0.63) a gallon, but then I realized it's just an April fuel's joke.
I had to get some petrol (gas), so I said to the attendant, "Fuel it up, 10ltrs."
He said, "Shell?"
"No!" Exclaimed I, "Unleaded!"
He said, after filling, "That'll be £67 please."
"WHAT!? I said 10 ltrs."
"Sorry, I thought you said fill it up."
"NO NO NO, you burk! FUEL it up, fuel!!!!"
"Its ok sir", said he, "April fool, I only put in 10 ltrs really."
But I had the last laugh, I paid the £67 he asked for. "Now who's the April fool?" said I.
April 1 is
April Fools or All Fools Day
Its not my birthday today. Is it???
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.animalclipart.net%2F_small%2F0511-0703-1210-3956.jpg&hash=855252e03765da1cea49f4cbb4c7dbbc)
You "had the last laugh"!!!! Haha!
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Here in Canada the oil companies play April fuel's jokes on us all year 'round!
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Here in Canada the oil companies play April fuel's jokes on us all year 'round!
Yes, it's a shame.
And Canadian oil executives are always using crude language.
-
Here in the UK, the government see's it as its duty to keep putting up fuel prices.
As I filled up my tank, chancellor George Osborne said "Well done, and you have been."
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I think chancellor George Osborne also said, "Oil brook no opposition"
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The 'Skull & Crossbones' flew menacingly from the middle mast of the approaching galleon.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi152.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fs189%2Ftesore%2FPirateEmoticon.gif&hash=a87eb9caae1bf9ee6d27812882b0777e)
"Avast me hearties", said the captain.
"A vast what?" retorted the 1st mate.
"They be after our cargo of ferrous metal." The Captain declared.
The crew looked on in horror and Botswain Higgs said, "You mean, they be Iron Pyrites?"
Ooo arrr.
-
This one really happened:
There had been a few scandals involving ministers of one of our State Governments. The then premier went to one of his regular press conferences. After a few questions on more innocuous topics had been dealt with, a young reporter opened with
--"Mr Premier, you must be aware of allegations that have been made against ..."
He was interrupted with
--"Allegations? What allegations? Who are these allegators?"
-
--"Allegations? What allegations? Who are these allegators?"
I could see that one caiman a mile off.
-
This one really happened:
There had been a few scandals involving ministers of one of our State Governments. The then premier went to one of his regular press conferences. After a few questions on more innocuous topics had been dealt with, a young reporter opened with
--"Mr Premier, you must be aware of allegations that have been made against ..."
He was interrupted with
--"Allegations? What allegations? Who are these allegators?"
Did he go on to say 'I accept I am partly responsible, but I'm not going to gharial the blame.'
Were there crocodile tears in his eyes?
Did he say to the waitress "Give me a crocodile sandwich, and make it snappy." Did she serve the sandwich on nice clean crockery?
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Allegations? What allegations? Who are these allegators?
Were there crocodile tears in his eyes?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F441951-Royalty-Free-RF-Clip-Art-Illustration-Of-A-Cartoon-Bear-Laughing.jpg&hash=d84e2e3305a0e609d815c6aff152eae6)
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Allegations? What allegations? Who are these allegators?
I could see that one caiman a mile off.
A mile off Cuba? (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuban_crocodile)
click ^ above
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Cuban crocodile
I see garments being torn by this creature if the washing is left out. That's your root problem here. Have Anna bring it in to keep it safe.
That's another pun gone up in smoke. Ah well! You win ston (http://www.ethos3.com/2012/03/lessons-from-winston-churchill/), you loose some.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.puff.com%2Fforums%2Fvb%2Fattachments%2Fgeneral-cigar-discussion%2F27732d1195581027-best-cigar-smiley-smiley-cigar.gif&hash=c9060b87fb717234d335d8b108c3fb41)
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That's another pun gone up in smoke. Ah well! You win ston (http://www.ethos3.com/2012/03/lessons-from-winston-churchill/), you lose some.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.puff.com%2Fforums%2Fvb%2Fattachments%2Fgeneral-cigar-discussion%2F27732d1195581027-best-cigar-smiley-smiley-cigar.gif&hash=c9060b87fb717234d335d8b108c3fb41)
Don_1, you can't fool me. Cigars in a washroom are all smoke and mirrors.
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Don_1, you can't fool me. Cigars are all smoke .......
Sounds like ce gar needs a service if its exhaust is all smoke.
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Don_1, you can't fool me. Cigars in a washroom are all smoke and mirrors.
There wash room in the washroom until some fools started going in there to stick their cigars up their nasal passages. This resulted in the management putting up a huge sign with the legend 'Nose Moking', which got in everyones' way. I complained, saying "Ash a nuisance." But the boss, a Spaniard, said "Ash tres necessario."
(And reverting to the crocodilian puns...)
He went on to say "Itsa Hokay para usted, you don'ta hava to ghary all the ash anda the buttsa out ata the end ofa the day, so itsa cleana para la mañana."
"Mañana?" I questioned, "I think you'll find they are smoking ordinary cigars, nothing remotely 'herbal'".
Which reminds me of the time I nearly got into trouble with drug squad. All I said to the girl was "I want to marry you Anna."
-
Walter Raleigh brought cigars to England. Queen Elizabeth declared they were too big after, not realising they should be smoked, had eaten one. So they were made smaller and the cigar eat was born.
-
Which reminds me of the time I nearly got into trouble with drug squad.
All I said to the girl was "I want to marry you Anna."
It was even more dangerous for you than you think.
The drug squad was suspicious because Anna is a woman of such distinguished courage and ability, and she's widely admired and emulated for her brave deeds and noble qualities.
In short, a heroine!
Good thing the marriage was annulled.
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Don_1, you can't fool me. Cigars are all smoke .......
Sounds like ce gar needs a service if its exhaust is all smoke.
Ce gas/petrol is all it needs.
So now I must find some celf service petrol/gas.
Ce gap is only good for hip jeans.
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It was even more dangerous for you than you think.
The drug squad was suspicious because Anna is a woman of such distinguished courage and ability, and she's widely admired and emulated for her brave deeds and noble qualities.
In short, a heroine!
Oh L, S D last thing I expected.
I am fetter mineself to the ball and chain.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia.myspacepimper.com%2Fcontent%2Fgif%2Fdogs%2Fdogs_215.gif&hash=a79ad6981434147def8a8da44994c802)
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April is:
International Guitar Month
http://www.guitarsite.com/newsletters/000327/9.shtml
I'm not bragging, but soon after I join any band as a guitarist, I am instrumental.
-
This one really happened:
There had been a few scandals involving ministers of one of our State Governments. The then premier went to one of his regular press conferences. After a few questions on more innocuous topics had been dealt with, a young reporter opened with
--"Mr Premier, you must be aware of allegations that have been made against ..."
He was interrupted with
--"Allegations? What allegations? Who are these allegators?"
That's quite a tail. The reporter must have been looking for a snappy story she could sink her teeth into.
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The reporter must have been looking for a snappy story she could sink her teeth into.
Yes. Just like this reporter!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Feclecticsanonymous.files.wordpress.com%2F2007%2F05%2Freggie-news.jpg%3Fw%3D480&hash=ab696f9e39ca7cb97a2ca08d6371e58b)
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There wash room in the washroom until some fools started going in there to stick their cigars up their nasal passages. This resulted in the management putting up a huge sign with the legend 'Nose Moking', which got in everyones' way. I complained, saying "Ash a nuisance." But the boss, a Spaniard, said "Ash tres necessario."
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2big2fall.files.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F09%2Fme-cigar-nose-corn-dog.jpg&hash=03093bc5af0b92ba26fd7cda5b8a0c29)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Flaughing%2Fsmiley.gif&hash=bfdf24c97c4e9263e374fc413c64700d)"NOSE MOKING"!!!!!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fheaptags.info%2Fimg.php%3Ffl%3Dl5n406k413w244360636r2i5e49434l5d4j5o4h5x5k5w5n2a4l4h4v2e5q4x564r4o4p2i4g494l594w5q2y5a4a4539454z3q5l4l5&hash=b03723b58550f01007d96cef8b3584bd) (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pakistanonyxmarble.com%2Fhandicrafts%2Fcigar-ashtrays%2Fmarble%2Fmarble-cigar-ashtrays-black-white-red-zebra-teakwood-marble-02.jpg&hash=cd272ddd7eb92ba2aee0bc8687cec4e7)
Don_1's poignant post is soooooooooo deserving of the INTERNATIONAL WRCNA! (Wash Room Cigar Nose Ashtray) Award Of 2012!
Congratulations, Don!
Demografx
Sr. WRCNA AwardFinder
Dated this 1st Day of April, Year 2012
(no fooling!)
-
"I want to marry you Anna."
She said no.
So now you want to ban Anna?
Is that truly the most fruitful way to proceed?
You just might benefit by cherrypicking from a number of different ways to go with your annarexic fixation.
There are many choices in a democracy: we do not live in annarchy.
Perhaps psychoannalysis can help here?
-
--"Allegations? What allegations? Who are these allegators?"
That's quite a tail.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fprofile.ak.fbcdn.net%2Fhprofile-ak-snc4%2F50332_231151362256_4213791_n.jpg&hash=1824f84bff948461bd4cf200c9051746)
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I'm not bragging, but soon after I join any band as a guitarist, I am instrumental.
That's not the way I heard it. I am lead to believe that the rest of the group told you to guit ar of it and not to come back. I also understand some pretty bass language was used and some obtuse innuendo. They can be quite rye them boy bands.
I am no defender of them, in fact, I gib some of them as good as I get. My tongue can be so hot, it burns. Now, les pull together to get Demo into a boy band. I'm fed up with his fretting.
Ishmael Rabanowitz, the celebrated Israeli engineer, designed the worlds largest suspension bridge in the classical style. I said to him, "Wow, that bridge has quite a span Ishmael!"
See those puns, I just plec trum out of thin air.
-
Don_1's poignant post is soooooooooo deserving of the INTERNATIONAL WRCNA! (Wash Room Cigar Nose Ashtray) Award Of 2012!
I am touched; I think you may be too!
LOOK OUT, its the men in white coats!
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There are many choices in a democracy: we do not live in annarchy.
I always thought that annarchy unlocked the door to her bedroom.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.ehow.com%2Fimages%2Fa05%2F7n%2F5n%2Fways-make-friends-laugh-hysterically-800X800.jpg&hash=e37a5cf284ff7fd52640bafd36309bca)
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April 9, 2012 is:
Dyngus Day
(First Monday after Easter)
http://www.dyngusdaybuffalo.com/whatisdyngusday.html
Did you hear about the frog who traced his family history to Warsaw?
He was a tad Polish.
And the frog wore a very nice polka-dotted shirt.
-
Walter Raleigh brought cigars to England. Queen Elizabeth declared they were too big after, not realising they should be smoked, had eaten one. So they were made smaller and the cigar eat was born.
I thought it was because of food and sex:
Queen Elizabeth always enjoyed a nice smoke (the smaller the better) after sex (the larger the better).
She indulged in said sex+smoking immediately after eating a hearty meal, thus the cigar ate was born.
-
See those puns, I just plec trum out of thin air.
Yes, just like me on the guitar, you certainly know how to pick 'em!
-
There are many choices in a democracy: we do not live in annarchy.
I always thought that annarchy unlocked the door to her bedroom.
Oh, let's not get annal about this...
-
Dyngus Day
I don't know Gus and by the sound of it I wouldn't want to dyn with him, I'd rather eat alone.
-
There are many choices in a democracy: we do not live in annarchy.
I always thought that annarchy unlocked the door to her bedroom.
Oh, let's not get annal about this...
I see this post has been logged. Must be annalog.
-
Dyngus Day
I don't know Gus and by by the sound of it I wouldn't want to dyn with him, I'd rather eat alone.
Oh, that's right, you're waiting for Dynalo Day! It's sometime around Independence Day, I think.
-
Well, I suppose it would.
Looks like my statement has landed me in deep end, hence your reply.
To demonstrate that I am not stand-offish, I will join you for a short while for grilled sausage, steak, gammon, lamb chop, mushrooms, tomato (US = tomato) etc. In other words, we shall dyn a mixed grill, but we shall only dyn a moment.
-
We shall dyn a mixed grill, but we shall only dyn a moment.
Although Nobelists tend to have dyn a mite personalities, Niels was a Bohr, and Linus was a Pauling.
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tomato (US = tomato)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mylionking.com%2Fresources%2Fsite_images%2Fanimated_gif_033_kiara_laughing.gif&hash=c47c06f2d9667129cc6c64df52c0005a)
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We shall dyn a mixed grill, but we shall only dyn a moment.
Although Nobelists tend to have dyn a mite personalities, Niels was a Bohr, and Linus was a Pauling.
Beats being a dyn nasty.
-
Beats being a dyn nasty.
Whilst visiting the Jurassic Museum, I was bitten before dynner and now I'm oh so sore!
-
Phone the authorities, try Cera Cops, and report the bite, even though nobody saur us.
-
Phone the authorities, try Cera Cops, and report the bite, even though nobody saur us.
Judging by the fact that Demo can still sit down OK, I don't think he was bitten on the us, I think it was his unmentionables. So while he doesn't have a saur ass he does have saur ol' pods!
I think the incident was observed, but they witnesses ran off in fright. Hardly surprising considering the ptera they saur.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.scriptedlizard.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2005%2F08%2Fdino.jpg&hash=79c5e0b361df8bd6eb2955b1188db78d)
Our thread-pet, "Dyno", immediately saur this book's value.
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Try Cera Cops
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpalaeo.gly.bris.ac.uk%2Fcommunication%2FBelton%2Fceratops.jpg&hash=f68d87725ad58ca952ab5927d5570794)
This Cera Cop was off duty, Donnah.
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Phone the authorities, try Cera Cops, and report the bite, even though nobody saur us.
Judging by the fact that Demo can still sit down OK, I don't think he was bitten on the us, I think it was his unmentionables. So while he doesn't have a saur ass he does have saur ol' pods!
I think the incident was observed, but they witnesses ran off in fright. Hardly surprising considering the ptera they saur.
I think it's terrible Liz 'eard it. Her extinct kicked in and she ran. She was pre-historical.
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Pre-hysterical, too, I bet!
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Demo can still sit down OK, I don't think he was bitten on the us...he doesn't have a saur ass.
The witnesses ran off in fright. Hardly surprising considering the ptera they saur.
You're making a gigantic mistake OTOH. The witnesses were frightened only when they saur us!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.enchantedlearning.com%2Fggifs%2FGiganotosaurus_bw.GIF&hash=8fd85c937f659a36e60325a50a9bfdf5)
I hope this doesn't make our "Dyno" pet jealous.
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Here's a quick one for you, yes, its a prontosaurus.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages4.wikia.nocookie.net%2F__cb20101124075231%2Fageofthedinosaurs%2Fimages%2Fc%2Fc2%2FBrontosaurus.gif&hash=280f0cdf5fba9ad01e7654709adc3320)
On a dig I found some bones I could not identify, so I asked Archie to get the dig team leader, Anna, to look at them. He used his cellphone to contact base. "Hello, who am I speaking to?" He asked, then said, "Oh its you Cynthia, hya Cynth, could you please Ptell Anna Don want's to see her."
Just then a piece of grit I had been trying to move became dislodged and flew into my eye, I cried out to Archie, "Archie, optrex quickly!"
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Here's a quick one for you, yes, its a prontosaurus.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages4.wikia.nocookie.net%2F__cb20101124075231%2Fageofthedinosaurs%2Fimages%2Fc%2Fc2%2FBrontosaurus.gif&hash=280f0cdf5fba9ad01e7654709adc3320)
How do we know you're not just trying to pull a fast one on us??
Or am I being...prepostaurus?
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Here's a quick one for you, yes, its a prontosaurus.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages4.wikia.nocookie.net%2F__cb20101124075231%2Fageofthedinosaurs%2Fimages%2Fc%2Fc2%2FBrontosaurus.gif&hash=280f0cdf5fba9ad01e7654709adc3320)
How do we know you're not just trying to pull a fast one on us??
Or am I being...prepostaurus?
;D hahahahahaha
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How do we know you're not just trying to pull a fast one on us??
As true, Don does try it on some times, but I can see you must have thought “Allo, saur us coming did you? Au but you lie so Don”
Now I really don’t wish to offend anyone with my coarse language in response to this allegation but all I can say is **** you, I saur us (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fukuisaurus) coming a mile off.
Well, its true I tell you and I’ll get Anna to confirm it, I’ll just call her over. “Hey u Annia, I want you. They coel urus liars.”
I lok el e sia she is busy, so she can’t come right now, which is something of an irritator.
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Now I really don'’t wish to offend anyone with my coarse language in response to this allegation but all I can say is **** you, I saur us (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fukuisaurus) coming a mile off.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Ffuku_luck_embroidered_hat-p233950298333365258zlci1_400.jpg&hash=18e11f12ef0bd2b0477df5b03470acb7)
The dinosaur you show is from Japan. But were you dressed for the occasion?? Did you wear a nice fuku hat??
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.edu-search.com%2Fuploads%2Ffuku.jpg&hash=fb1719545715d077379378ca496ba75f)
And, did you have enough to eat?? Otherwise you tend to distort things when famished.
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I'm not eating anything in that restaurant if its in fukushima!
OK, so the Chinese have delicacy know as 100 year old eggs, but I don't fancy sushi made from this:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.prehistoric-wildlife.com%2Fimages%2Fr_nav_link_images%2Fspecies%2Ff%2Ffukuiraptor.jpg&hash=d12f2c6ae396fa876a7aa63515acef17)
I understand Dr Spooner would have taken up Kung Fu, but for his speech impediment. Just as well he didn't lecture on old English legends. Robin Hood wouldn't be a problem, nor Little John, but Friar Tuck.......
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Femoticonhq.com%2Fimages%2FSimpsons%2Flisalaughing.gif&hash=2945b530829b2f75da471139a47af23e)
(She's visiting)
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OK, so the Chinese have delicacy know as 100 year old eggs, but I don't fancy sushi made from this:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.prehistoric-wildlife.com%2Fimages%2Fr_nav_link_images%2Fspecies%2Ff%2Ffukuiraptor.jpg&hash=d12f2c6ae396fa876a7aa63515acef17)
What seems to be a problem in this?
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I've got a bee in my sushi!
"WAITER, WAITER, wasabe doin' in my sushi?"
"Ah so! I not know sur, but I can see the da fly in your zoup is doin' the breast stoke."
-
I've got a bee in my sushi!
"WAITER, WAITER, wasabe doin' in my sushi?"
"Ah so! I not know sur, but I can see the da fly in your zoup is doin' the breast stoke."
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fanimated-gifs.org%2Fwp-content%2Fthemes%2Ffrugal%2Fgraphics%2Fcat%2Fdonald-duck%2Fdonald-duck-020.gif&hash=bc4744afd76dd6eebf041e0bdf613134)
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April 20, 2012 is:
DNA Day!
http://www.genome.gov/10506367
Sigh. And here I thought we were finally dun with the DNAsaur pun. [Don_1, and Donnah, as you can see in the preceding, I'm working my way up oh-so-very-slowly to your respective high caliber levels of poetry].
Don't (dun) be saur about this.
Gee, ya know mebbe where can I get a good blood test done?
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.scriptedlizard.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2005%2F08%2Fdino.jpg&hash=79c5e0b361df8bd6eb2955b1188db78d)
Our thread-pet, "Dyno", immediately saur this book's value.
Sorry, I didn't get a forum vote. For a pet. Or the name "dyno"
So feel free to keep/replace Dyno!
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April 20, 2012 is:
DNA Day!
http://www.genome.gov/10506367
DNA Day. 24 hrs of it. Just as Mr Pitney was 24hrs from Tulsa back in '63.
I wonder, is Gene home yet?
Ah! The 60's. I used to watch in awe as the birds flew across the sky, especially the Crows, Maggpies and Jays, and wished that just for a moment I could do likewise. Will I ever have a crow mo some day?
As I watched, a large Crow swooped down and struck a cat. The cat ran for cover and under a bush tended to his wound. He licks himself twice (double he licks) and stays out of sight of the bold Crow. A passing woman was so intent on watching this episode that she did not see the low branch of a young Horse Chestnut. Her head hit tree so hard, she was dazed.
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Sorry, I didn't get a forum vote. For a pet. Or the name "dyno"
So feel free to keep/replace Dyno!
I nominate Pork Pie, one of my two Mediterranean Spur Thighed Tortoise (Testudo (graeca) graeca). She's only 9 years old, so I think she'll be able to fill the post for quite a while.
Here she is:
[ Invalid Attachment ]
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Since this is a science forum, here's another, more scientificified, picture:
Punning isn't science - it's heart.
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I nominate Pork Pie, one of my two Mediterranean Spur Thighed Tortoise (Testudo (graeca) graeca).
Here she is:
[ Invalid Attachment ]
I second Pork Pie, but only if you clean up after her mess in the TNS porking lot.
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April 20, 2012 is:
DNA Day!
http://www.genome.gov/10506367
DNA Day. 24 hrs of it. Just as Mr Pitney was 24hrs from Tulsa back in '63.
I wonder, is Gene home yet?
Ah! The 60's. I used to watch in awe as the birds flew across the sky, especially the Crows, Maggpies and Jays, and wished that just for a moment I could do likewise. Will I ever have a crow mo some day?
As I watched, a large Crow swooped down and struck a cat. The cat ran for cover and under a bush tended to his wound. He licks himself twice (double he licks) and stays out of sight of the bold Crow. A passing woman was so intent on watching this episode that she did not see the low branch of a young Horse Chestnut. Her head hit tree so hard, she was dazed.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.blc.arizona.edu%2Fmolecular_graphics%2Fdna_structure%2FDNA_Helix_SF.GIF&hash=8b62cb31816a229ddbdf35a665292adc)
For the 2nd Year in a row, let's have a hearty double round of applause for Don_1 (not Don_2), who once again walks away with The He-Licks-Himself-Twice Award!
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgifsoup.com%2Fwebroot%2Fanimatedgifs%2F754962_o.gif&hash=f60b46cd574315a7b174b21a9965e513)
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Just as Mr Pitney was 24hrs from Tulsa back in '63.
I wonder, is Gene home yet?
Tulsa? Forget it. That town has no pity. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7BRraVMZzc&feature=youtube_gdata_player)
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I changed my iPhone's name to Titanic.
It's syncing now.
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I changed my iPhone's name to Titanic.
It's syncing now.
GOOD GRIEF! You have made me see the light: Its a sign, a warning, AN OMEN!!!
OH! Woe, woe and thrice woe! I have seen a sign of great foreboding, I have seen the end!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-scared002.gif&hash=3f1be0d7852de58fc8d6d61614f2ddd3) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Sorry, pardon, I thought I'd done up my fly.
Run for your lives, the end is nigh!
Our nation shall be no more.
Oh! Woe, woe and thrice woe, the British Isles are about to sink beneath the waves!
In 1912 it was the Titanic, now in 2012 it will be the Olympics (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RMS_Olympic). (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.smileyvault.com%2Falbums%2Fuserpics%2F10404%2Fdrowning.gif&hash=cc40ea0fcc3b8d5ab799b5406cf2e027) (http://www.smileyvault.com/)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.picgifs.com%2Fbaby-graphics%2Fbaby-graphics%2Flaughing%2Fbaby-graphics-laughing-126019.gif&hash=134f623079d5c06dfc8f160b9bf7e7a5)
(visiting)
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Coming up fast!
April 25, 2012:
Another DNA Day !
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DNA_day
What are we to do??
Must we re-pun ourselves?
Again??
Francis Frick et al wrote up their famous finding on April 25, 1953. Dis was published in NAture Magazine, a prestigious science journal.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2F0%2F08%2FDna-split.png&hash=8257e55c9fb1d6fbdea8ae2aee0a431c)
"Where's Waldo?"
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WHAT??? Another DNA Day! This is blatant prejudice.
Stand up for the rites of RNA.
-
Must we re-pun ourselves?
Re current topic: I will not be held repunsible for any repeated matter.
Re current topic: I will not be held repunsible for any repeated matter.
Re IT I rate it quite high.
-
Must we re-pun ourselves?
I take a grimm view of this idea.
-
I have developed a habit of drinking brake fluid, but I should be able to stop at any time.
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WHAT??? Another DNA Day! This is blatant prejudice.
Stand up for the rites of RNA. [Don_1 means the NRA - National Rifle Assn.]
So now you think we'll solve this with rifles???
-
Must we re-pun ourselves?
Re current topic: I will not be held repunsible for any repeated matter.
Re current topic: I will not be held repunsible for any repeated matter.
Re IT I rate it quite high.
Punning is your repunsibility. Don't punnish others for it.
-
Must we re-pun ourselves?
I take a grimm view of this idea.
You mean grimm tails? Will we ever get away from dinosaurs, alligators, and crocodiles?
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Will we ever get away from dinosaurs, alligators, and crocodiles?
Not all the while you, Jimbob and Don are on here... ;) :P
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Hmmm....
-
Will we ever get away from dinosaurs, alligators, and crocodiles?
Not all the while you, Jimbob and Don are on here... ;) :P
I resemble that remark!
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Will we ever get away from dinosaurs, alligators, and crocodiles?
Not all the while you, Jimbob and Don are on here... ;) :P
I resemble that remark!
My wife asked me to remove a picture from over the fireplace.
It was an off-the-wall remark.
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You mean grimm tails? Will we ever get away from dinosaurs, alligators, and crocodiles?
Here's a rather grim tail:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.paleo.cc%2Fce%2Fstegosaurus.gif&hash=e1dc4c47afa2f8410ec809930ec9a026)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-fc%2Fdoh.gif&hash=32dfd8bb20d77484b04c8888fc8eaedf) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Doh! Its a Stegosaurus, so sorry chaps. I just di no what came over me.
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My wife asked me to remove a picture from over the fireplace.
It was an off-the-wall remark.
Had she asked you to replace it with a whiteboard, that would have been truly remarkable
-
Hmmm....
You have missed my intellectual input haven't you? ;D
-
Hmmm....
You have missed my intellectual input haven't you? ;D
Variola, you leave me speechless.
And breathless.
Great balls of fire!
-
My wife asked me to remove a picture from over the fireplace.
It was an off-the-wall remark.
Had she asked you to replace it with a whiteboard, that would have been truly remarkable
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpersonal-computer-tutor.com%2Fabc2%2Fimages%2FLAUGHING%2520OUT%2520LOUD%252010-24-2001.gif&hash=403266f3bd8f5fba92e8343dea9af8bd)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.paleo.cc%2Fce%2Fstegosaurus.gif&hash=e1dc4c47afa2f8410ec809930ec9a026)
Wotta beauty!!
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Will we ever get away from dinosaurs, alligators, and crocodiles?
Not all the while you, Jimbob and Don are on here... ;) :P
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg2.imagesbn.com%2Fimages%2F102720000%2F102720522.jpg&hash=cf0c0978f36ab15336c991ad657f72cd)
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I have developed a habit of drinking brake fluid, but I should be able to stop at any time.
A man of your caliper will never brake the habit.
-
A man of your caliper will never brake the habit.
American English version
What are you? Some sort of hood?
Queen's English version
What are you? Some sort of bonnet?
Hmmm, that doesn't work, does it. Gimme a brake, I'll pad out this post a little.
I asked my Jewish friend for his opinion. He looked me in the eye, then Manny folded his arms and said, "Consumption of that stuff wont do you any good. You'll soon become exhausted." I asked if he thought it might do me harm and he replied, "I di no, sores*** could develop on your lips which might be wheely uncomfortable."
I'm wheely clutching at straws here.
Queen's English version
His Wife, is a right old boot.
American English version
His wife is a right old trunk.
Now see how the American English version is so proboscistuous. Heaven nose why.
She wears some far out gear and had bought a pair of socks which were the wrong size for her, so was giving them to my wife. "Ah yes," I said, "diesel fitt 'er."
*** Who let the dinosaurs back in? I'll throttle him. Could have been that used car dealer Ed. Ed sel (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edsel)'s some right old lemons.
-
American English version
Its a gas, isn't it.
Queen's English version
Its a petrol, isn't it.
Please don't give me the bird (http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/give+the+bird) over that one.
-
How's the crack.... (Ireland fun)
what the quality of the drugs like man.......(USA)
^
-
I'm wheely clutching at straws here.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdump.fm%2Favatars%2F20100903%2F1283537441197-dumpfm-jimmyjammer-LaughingCatAnimated.gif&hash=3cfa3cefc3c5e3a4e5fbea50c0850bc4)
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How's the crack.... (Ireland fun)
what the quality of the drugs like man.......(USA)
^
On my last airline flight, I was curious about our climbing altitude, so I asked the pilot how high he would get.
The pilot replied, 'I don't do drugs.'
-
A man of your caliper will never brake the habit.
American English version
What are you? Some sort of hood?
Queen's English version
What are you? Some sort of bonnet?
Hmmm, that doesn't work, does it. Gimme a brake, I'll pad out this post a little.
I asked my Jewish friend for his opinion. He looked me in the eye, then Manny folded his arms and said, "Consumption of that stuff wont do you any good. You'll soon become exhausted." I asked if he thought it might do me harm and he replied, "I di no, sores*** could develop on your lips which might be wheely uncomfortable."
I'm wheely clutching at straws here.
Queen's English version
His Wife, is a right old boot.
American English version
His wife is a right old trunk.
Now see how the American English version is so proboscistuous. Heaven nose why.
She wears some far out gear and had bought a pair of socks which were the wrong size for her, so was giving them to my wife. "Ah yes," I said, "diesel fitt 'er."
*** Who let the dinosaurs back in? I'll throttle him. Could have been that used car dealer Ed. Ed sel (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edsel)'s some right old lemons.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F75935f77.jpg&hash=3c5e521892c4e8834d3df76d9bef4b54)
I wheely think Don_1 auto have this Award!
-
Please don't give me the bird (http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/give+the+bird) over that one.
I'll just give you the crow.*
(Crow is a four-letter bird.)
*With hugs, of course
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F75935f77.jpg&hash=3c5e521892c4e8834d3df76d9bef4b54)
I wheely think Don_1 auto have this Award!
Gosh! Another award. Can TNS afFord it? Let's not dodge the issue, if their bank account is anything like mine, it will be devoid of funds most of the time and the banks charger lot for an overdraft. How often I look at my statement and I chrys ler account has got vaux hall in it!
Just this morning I had to forego my morning cuppa because the caddy lacks tea bags. Breakfast was non existant too, no bread, no rice. I missed my usual rolls & royce Its enough to drive you round the benz. But I just cit roen my rocking chair out on the porsche watching volks as they wag on by. Like the young mum from a few doors away taking her kiddy to school. I'm kind of fhond a her.
Aye see, cobras isn't it. But I must 'ang on to every hope for the future.
By the way, re nault money, I am not begging here. That would be a cardinal (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolseley_Motors) sin.
(Explanation of this dubious pun:
Cardinal = Cardinal Wolsey = Cardinal Wolseley = Wolseley Motors.)
All rather austintacious isn't it. Mor risky than ever before. But I shall emerge triumphant, settle down and no more shall I be a rover.
Did I mention, the wife nearly bought me a BMW............
She bought me a BMX and said "On yer bike! (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=on%20your%20bike)"
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Please don't give me the bird (http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/give+the+bird) over that one.
I'll just give you the crow.
(Crow is a four-letter bird.)
What are you raven on about?
-
.............. I asked the pilot how high he would get.
The pilot replied, 'I don't do drugs.'
That was hardly the altitude to take was it!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F75935f77.jpg&hash=3c5e521892c4e8834d3df76d9bef4b54)
I wheely think Don_1 auto have this Award!
Gosh! Another award. Can TNS afFord it? Let's not dodge the issue, if their bank account is anything like mine, it will be devoid of funds most of the time and the banks charger lot for an overdraft. How often I look at my statement and I chrys ler account has got vaux hall in it!
Just this morning I had to forego my morning cuppa because the caddy lacks tea bags. Breakfast was non existant too, no bread, no rice. I missed my usual rolls & royce Its enough to drive you round the benz. But I just cit roen my rocking chair out on the porsche watching volks as they wag on by. Like the young mum from a few doors away taking her kiddy to school. I'm kind of fhond a her.
Aye see, cobras isn't it. But I must 'ang on to every hope for the future.
By the way, re nault money, I am not begging here. That would be a cardinal (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolseley_Motors) sin.
(Explanation of this dubious pun:
Cardinal = Cardinal Wolsey = Cardinal Wolseley = Wolseley Motors.)
All rather austintacious isn't it. Mor risky than ever before. But I shall emerge triumphant, settle down and no more shall I be a rover.
Did I mention, the wife nearly bought me a BMW............
She bought me a BMX and said "On yer bike! (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=on%20your%20bike)"
Now T H I S is a car punning post that will drive us all crazy. uh, I mean...to undreamed of heights!
VERY WELL DONE, DON_1!!!
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WHAT??? Another DNA Day! This is blatant prejudice.
Stand up for the rites of RNA.
(https://simtk.org/templates/xml/images/graphics/rna_coarse2.gif)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flibrary.thinkquest.org%2F07aug%2F01207%2Fimages%2Fcontent%2Fhiv.jpg&hash=4627757bdba94834a0c01f11eb414e2f)
No clever remarks. Just pretty RNA pics.
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.............. I asked the pilot how high he would get.
J
The pilot replied, 'I don't do drugs.'
That was hardly the altitude to take was it!
Don, I imagine that your difficult decision to become a pilot was up in the air for a while.
-
Gosh! Another award.
Can TNS afFord it?
No.
But TNS' CFO-comptroller is both religious and dyslexus, so he prays to his dog for your Car Award money.
-
It's April - we have only one more day to celebrate:
Car Care Month
Care for your car or suffer the carnsequences?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimgc.allpostersimages.com%2Fimages%2FP-473-488-90%2F27%2F2701%2FHYBND00Z%2Fposters%2Fnina-leen-teenagers-pushing-an-old-jalopy.jpg&hash=b10d35a74134845ee662218af5a03898)
(TNS' company car)
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The wife and I always look after our car's chasis. Oh yes, car cares us.
Sue, the retired woman across the street, maintains her car on her retirement fund. Sue's pension just about covers the cost, then its exhausted. She rants and raves about it and its no use trying to silence 'er. I tried to tell her how Linda manages. "See Linda,
she's tearing up the road without problems, and oil be doing the same soon".
My auntie frees herself of such worries by using buses.
A new friend of President Eisenhower once went on record as saying, "My new mate Ike tyres of travel quickly.
-
The Queen and the Prince of Wales have nice cars.
Elizabeth II has a plush Rolls Royce and as for Chas, 'is choice is an Aston Martin.
-
.............. I asked the pilot how high he would get.
J
The pilot replied, 'I don't do drugs.'
That was hardly the altitude to take was it!
Don, I imagine that your difficult decision to become a pilot was up in the air for a while.
I was a tad fearful that someone might try to chute me down.
-
I didn't know you cared that much!
-
Tomorrow begins the month of May:
Carrots and Cauliflower Month
http://www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov/month/index.html
When vegetables want to talk to petunias, they use a cell phone and cauliflower.
-
My car rots when the battery's dead.
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[ Invalid Attachment ]
"NOW THATS WHAT I CALL A CLOSE SHAVE.." AND "QUITE A GRATING EXPERIENCE!...." LOL....TALK ABOUT...."I'M GONNA SKIN YOUR HIDE.....!!!" BETTER YET.. "SKINNED
ALIVE...." LOL...LOL... "Whoops, I forgot to ask you if you wanted that little spud grated or sliced?..." LOL..LOL
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Karen, is THAT what Don was worried about when he said...I was a tad fearful that someone might try to chute me down.
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I was a tad fearful that someone might try to chute me down.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thenakedscientists.com%2Fforum%2Findex.php%3Faction%3Ddlattach%3Btopic%3D31700.0%3Battach%3D16333%3Bimage&hash=26bef594a09bc8513b62ca45d0a0dee3)
Don't chute me for this, but did you know that the chicken crossed the playground to get to the other slide?
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[ Invalid Attachment ]
I think its grate great.
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Tomorrow begins the month of May:
Carrots and Cauliflower Month
http://www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov/month/index.html
Does that mean we are in for another ear'ole bashing on the '5 a day' concept? We'll all end up with cauliflower ears.
Why aren't greens and parsnips included? This is yet another case of blatant prejudice.
Father Manny Cohen is the priest/rabbi of a bi-religious church/synagogue. He performs confessions, christenings, bar mitzvahs and circumcisions. He is affectionately known as Par Snips.
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My car rots when the battery's dead.
Aye cid gest you top up the battery.
-
I had a German sausage for breakfast today, it was the wurst I have ever tasted. The wife waffled something about complaining to the butcher, but I said I didn't need her to egg me on. The butcher asked if I had grilled the sausage, I repied to her enquiry "No marm I laid it on yon frying pan, though there wasn't mush room, it cooked OK."
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One might think that sauce-age is made of meat, but it's also something you can put on potatoes or icecream.
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Father Manny Cohen is the priest/rabbi of a bi-religious church/synagogue. He performs confessions, christenings, bar mitzvahs and circumcisions. He is affectionately known as Par Snips.
Father Cohen's assistant's salary is not much, but she makes up for it in tips.
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Why aren't greens and parsnips included?
This is yet another case of blatant prejudice.
January is parsnips month.
But I can assure you that there is no pearjudice in this fruit/veggie monthly selection.
Be confident that the selection committee is pearfectly unbiased.
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On this date, I have figured out that you have gone utterly bananas.
I don't want this post to get ugly, but I am passionate about fruit and treat it as the star of the table, pudding it above all else.
Stone me, I'm plum tuckered out.
Ooer, another Americanism.
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I didn't need her to egg me on.
As we can all see, this is clearly an ego issue.
-
One might think that sauce-age is made of meat, but it's also something you can put on potatoes or icecream.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fefc09715.jpg&hash=c243fa6f4e4fd4e0b75fdc18decd5ffc)
I respectfully pass : - )
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On this date, I have figured out that you have gone utterly bananas.
Why? Don't I help to regularly prune this thread and throw out a pit or two?
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One might think that sauce-age is made of meat, but it's also something you can put on potatoes or icecream.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fefc09715.jpg&hash=c243fa6f4e4fd4e0b75fdc18decd5ffc)
I respectfully pass : - )
Do my eyes decieve me or are there peas on that cone?
"M - u - m, M - u - u - m, Mum, Demo's put pea on my ice cream."
"WHAT!!! Demo's pee'ed on your ice cream? Wait 'til I get my hands on him!"
Actually, it looks like a genuine Heston Blumenthal (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heston_Blumenthal) concoction. He's a blumen nut case.
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On this date, I have figured out that you have gone utterly bananas.
Why? Don't I help to regularly prune this thread and throw out a pit or two?
On balance, yes, I suppose you could say so.
As a reward, here's a clip of Prunella Scales (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHwkCFLi0lQ)
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It would appear that May is National Egg Month in the USA.
I do hope you all have a cracking good time. All bu men should scramble words to make funny yolks & puns. It should be easy over*** there to do this. So keep your sunny side up and make merry, but please don't poach any material.
Shell out a few dollars on fancy dress and come let the fun begin. Let your nest egg of humour be openned wide.
Perhaps it might be an idea to cook your eggon the Ronay side, but don't let it run all down your front when you eat it.
***Yet another Americanism. I really must yank myself back into British idiotms.
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Today is Demo Pear Day.
No biased selection here!
No ego involved!
Reminder to self: destroy all evidence of this post below ---
This is yet another case of blatant prejudice.
But I can assure you that there is no pearjudice in this fruit/veggie monthly selection.
Be confident that the selection committee is pearfectly unbiased.
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It looks like a genuine Heston Blumenthal (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heston_Blumenthal) concoction. He's a blumen nut case.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fe%2Fe5%2FThe_Fat_Duck%252C_High_Street%252C_Bray_-_geograph.org.uk_-_1271175.jpg&hash=058950eb9abf4713ff201f33f5b773ee)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2F9%2F97%2FHestonregentspark.jpg&hash=d9857de5e0ad0d38a97711ab7c27c58d)
Blumenthal's restaurant Blumenthal levitating veggies
You're right. Anyone who calls a house a restaurant and levitates veggies must be a blumen nut case.
-
As a reward, here's a clip of Prunella Scales (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHwkCFLi0lQ)
How am I supposed to understand this? It's all with British accents! Will Google-Translate work?????
(I hope TNS doesn't cut my pay for these remarks)
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It would appear that May is National Egg Month in the USA.
I do hope you all have a cracking good time. All bu men should scramble words to make funny yolks & puns. It should be easy over*** there to do this. So keep your sunny side up and make merry, but please don't poach any material.
Shell out a few dollars on fancy dress and come let the fun begin. Let your nest egg of humour be openned wide.
Perhaps it might be an idea to cook your eggon the Ronay side, but don't let it run all down your front when you eat it.
***Yet another Americanism. I really must yank myself back into British idiotms.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmith09.wikis.birmingham.k12.mi.us%2Ffile%2Fview%2FGood-Egg-Award_1.jpg%2F139523597%2FGood-Egg-Award_1.jpg&hash=db3a62c1a29979965f7d434e491cc739)
I don't want egg on my face for neglecting yet another Award to Don~1.
TNS' CFO will be eggsactly furious about this!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FUntitled.png&hash=4832837c113409df1f7781a74e6046b6)
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It would appear that May is National Egg Month in the USA.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.sodahead.com%2Fpolls%2F000773779%2Fpolls_angry_shouting_smiley_4450_311441_answer_5_xlarge.gif&hash=ad9ae61236a17a3d23823ba8e57b7086) DON_1!
Shame on you, you have failed to point out that National Egg Month has a LINK associated with this major disturbance observance.
http://www.aeb.org/
As per the TNS Punning Thread Anniversary Rule 117.003Ar9, "Links must be shown whether they are relevant or not."
Don, please try to think like a blacksmith, who is used to forging strong links with his customers.
-
As a reward, here's a clip of Prunella Scales (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHwkCFLi0lQ)
How am I supposed to understand this? It's all with British accents! Will Google-Translate work?????
(I hope TNS doesn't cut my pay for these remarks)
If you had trouble with the accent in that clip, you'll be dumbfounded by Mr. Chomondley-Warner (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlv3B1078PA).
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmith09.wikis.birmingham.k12.mi.us%2Ffile%2Fview%2FGood-Egg-Award_1.jpg%2F139523597%2FGood-Egg-Award_1.jpg&hash=db3a62c1a29979965f7d434e491cc739)
I don't want egg on my face for neglecting yet another Award to Don~1.
TNS' CFO will be eggsactly furious about this!
What an eggsquisite award. I am so eggcited you could say I am in eggstacy. I have not felt such eggcileration for an eggstremely long time. I must now sit down to regain my egguilibrium.
But really, these eggy puns are eggceedingly easy, requiring little egguinuity. They can be found in their millions from the poles to the egguator*.
*Restaurant Personnel who serve eggs.
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Shame on you, you have failed to point out that National Egg Month has a LINK associated with this major disturbance observance.
http://www.aeb.org/
As per the TNS Punning Thread Anniversary Rule 117.003Ar9, "Links must be shown whether they are relevant or not."
Don, please try to think like a blacksmith, who is used to forging strong links with his customers.
My most humble apologies for this omission. I shall, in future, do as you suggest, think like a blacksmith an' vil in all chains with links where appropriate.
I thank you for your dogged (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Hammer_dog-head.jpg) devotion to clawing me back into line with the policies of this punning club of which I hammer pein a member so long, I should know better.
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I hope you noticed the gold - no brass this time.
Otherwise I'm sure you would be complaining to TNS' Award Committee that I have once again not treated you pupperly.
I thank you for your dogged (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Hammer_dog-head.jpg) devotion.
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How am I supposed to understand this? It's all with British accents! Will Google-Translate work?????
(I hope TNS doesn't cut my pay for these remarks)
If you had trouble with the accent in that clip, you'll be dumbfounded by Mr. Chomondley-Warner (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlv3B1078PA).
You keep this up and that will force me to subject you to torture: unintelligible (US) Southern drawl!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wK7CIvZ4PDI&feature=related
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I hammer pein a member so long, I should know better.
You mean that you have hampered our members? Tsk, tsk, I'm sure there's a TNS ordinance/rule somewhere prohibiting this.
-
Father Manny Cohen is the priest/rabbi of a bi-religious church/synagogue. He performs confessions, christenings, bar mitzvahs and circumcisions. He is affectionately known as Par Snips.
His friend, Father Manny Fold, is a real cartoon character. You'd like him.
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I shall...think like a blacksmith an' vil in all chains with links where appropriate.
I thank you for your dogged (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Hammer_dog-head.jpg) devotion to clawing me back into line with the policies of this punning club of which I hammer pein a member so long.
On behalf of The TNS Awards Committee, Don_1 is once again awarded this expensive trophy!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F-J2FWurXI4IQ%2FTV5cVfsuJiI%2FAAAAAAAAHmM%2FDDsPndZQd24%2Fs400%2FAnvil%252BAwards.jpg&hash=1b0ae379a4f1135215bd7fed751830c5)
Wow!!
How does Don_1 do this???
He doesn't know which hammer is which, but he somehow nails it anyway!
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How does Don_1 do this???
He doesn't know which hammer is which, but he somehow nails it anyway!
I do make some sort of a plan(ish) (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planishing). I sit in a darkened room and set my mind to zinking about what in heavens name might be related to the subject matter, iron out the flaws and nick el of your ideas.
Ooops, I shouldn't have admited to that. Demo will be after me. Scared? Me? Man, ga nese are knocking already!
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His friend, Father Manny Fold, is a real cartoon character. You'd like him.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing001.gif&hash=2cf2345a1fbd00faec62eee13d0dc4e1) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Bellows with laughter.
I don't wish to cast dispersions upon you Demo, but look:
demografx
Your signature is easily forged.
-
Your sad case hardened my opinion.
-
But Euro pinion has no bearing on this matter.
-
I do make some sort of a plan(ish)
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planishing).
Careful you don't bully people with sheet metal.
-
I don't wish to cast dispersions upon you Demo, but look:
demografx
Your signature is easily forged.
Why <sputter> this is the last, blasted fate I thought would befall me.
And I should also go after those mortar forgers who sold me that inferior concrete!
I'm so upset this is giving me the bends. Even the other forum members are laughing at me as if they were a live TV audience. I tell you, it's cast irony.
But I'm hungry now, so I'll go instead and eat a charcoal broiled hamburger, and maybe ann eal sushi on the side instead of fries.
Might that qualify me for a JUNIOR (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F-J2FWurXI4IQ%2FTV5cVfsuJiI%2FAAAAAAAAHmM%2FDDsPndZQd24%2Fs400%2FAnvil%252BAwards.jpg&hash=1b0ae379a4f1135215bd7fed751830c5) ?
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Today is:
Accountant's Day or Accounting Day
(They can't seem to make up their mind)
http://www.accountingday.org/
Will this be yet another excuse for TNS' CFO to demand cutbacks to The Awards Committee and washroom amenities budget? Again?
(This is marked "confidential and urgent")
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I have decided to drop forgery because you have obviously smelt a rat.
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I wasted the whole day yesterday taking note of how many insects crawled out of a hole in the ground,
all because someone told me it was a count ant day.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fp2.la-img.com%2F642%2F12434%2F3441840_1_l.jpg&hash=c5cf720547157a0f7be4767833f5714f)
Yes he is!
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Did I post this in the wrong thread?
Το Σ ιτ uπ μαθ ιζ αλλ Γρεεκ
O me gad!!! What did you say?
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fp2.la-img.com%2F642%2F12434%2F3441840_1_l.jpg&hash=c5cf720547157a0f7be4767833f5714f)
Yes he is!
Is what? From the caucasus? Is a screwball? Is a show stopper? Is a caucasian?
Your post has so many holes in it, that it needs caulking.
Are you bottling something up? Tell me, I am here to help, you can calk talk to me any time.
-
Did I post this in the wrong thread?
Το Σ ιτ uπ μαθ ιζ αλλ Γρεεκ
O me gad!!! What did you say?
Actualy, perhaps that should have been:
Ωd, what did you say?
Yes, that would have δ (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delta_(letter)) blow to this thread.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fp2.la-img.com%2F642%2F12434%2F3441840_1_l.jpg&hash=c5cf720547157a0f7be4767833f5714f)
Yes he is!
Is what? From the caucasus? Is a screwball? Is a show stopper? Is a caucasian?
Your post has so many holes in it, that it needs caulking.
Are you bottling something up? Tell me, I am here to help, you can calk talk to me any time.
My official psychiatric diagnosis:
You hardly seem aware of what's going on.
Over the top, probably due to bottled up emotions suddenly released.
Herr Professor Doktor Demografx
MD, BS, MS, PhD, IMHO, GMTA, WTF
ps - they say you drink 2 bottles of whisky a day, but it isn't true. You must scotch those rumours right away!
-
Did I post this in the wrong thread?
Το Σ ιτ uπ μαθ ιζ αλλ Γρεεκ
O me gad!!! What did you say?
Actualy, perhaps that should have been:
Ωd, what did you say?
Yes, that would have δ (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delta_(letter)) blow to this thread.
Don, not to worry, you're always Omicron Kappa in my book : - )
-
Perhaps I had β not come up with any more of these, it might be misconstrued as φosophical μtaion of the γ punning. But this opens up a whole new can of worms* and la tin is overflowing with possibilities.
*Other cans of somewhat more desirable π fillings are available.
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Don, not to worry, you're always Omicron Kappa in my book : - )
Ο κ. Thank you kind sir, θ is a nice thing to say to me and to anyone of χnese origin.
-
O mi, cronological disaster here, I must kapp a dis off and get on with some work.
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Upsilon Eta Omicron Eta, Don!
-
Upsilon Eta Omicron Eta, Don!
Ut est securus pro vobis loquor.
***Perhaps, for those who's Latin is as crap as mine and in case that is wrong, I should translate:-
That's easy for you to say.***
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Upsilon Eta Omicron Eta, Don!
Ut est securus pro vobis loquor.
***Perhaps, for those who's Latin is as crap as mine and in case that is wrong, I should translate:-
That's easy for you to say.***
Utter nonsense.
I can very well hold my loquor, thank you!
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I can very well hold my loquor, thank you!
That's not what I heard. When I asked Mrs Demo if you drink a lot, she said "No, he spills most of it!"
-
Hey, we're on page 88, like the number of keys;-)
And Don_1, Demo's not as think as you drunk he is!
-
Today is:
May 11, 2012
Cinco de Mayo
Punning thread: where we stay on TOP of current events!
-
I can very well hold my loquor, thank you!
That's not what I heard. When I asked Mrs Demo if you drink a lot, she said "No, he spills most of it!"
And now she spills the beans?
It's not right, I tell you.
Grounds for divorce.
-
And Don_1, Demo's not as think as you drunk he is!
Right!
And I'm not as dumb as everyone says, either.
Hmph. That'll show 'im!
-
Today is:
May 11, 2012
Cinco de Mayo
Punning thread: where we stay on TOP of current events!
Now, I'll admit my Spannish ain't great, nor my maths (US = math) and even my chronology is somewhat lacking, but.......
Oh! I get it now, Cinco, as in "Spannish economy has gone down the plug hole in the sinko."
By jove, Demo, you are on the ball, if you get any more up-to-the-minute, you'll be in the future.
-
I can very well hold my loquor, thank you!
That's not what I heard. When I asked Mrs Demo if you drink a lot, she said "No, he spills most of it!"
And now she spills the beans?
It's not right, I tell you.
Grounds for divorce.
Now, now, don't get grouty.
-
And Don_1, Demo's not as think as you drunk he is!
Right!
And I'm not as dumb as everyone says, either.
Hmph. That'll show 'im!
It certainly did, I've never seen a 'hmph' before.
-
Hey, we're on page 88, like the number of keys;-)
I can sing in two keys; Yale & Chub. You'd be morticedified to hear it.
-
Hey, we're on page 88, like the number of keys;-)
1. "Hey" is for horses.
2. No, I do not like the number of keys: 89 has more panache.
3. As a piano player, I always know what bar I'm in.
-
I've never seen a 'hmph' before.
Oh, come now, Don_1, we ALL know the truth about you and certain cavorting nymphs (soul sisters of hmphs).
<wink>
Your secret is safe. And TNS' Senior Womanizer Member Bailout Program is always there for the asking.
ps - if you and/or the wife come to visit us, don't forget that the speed limit here is 75mph.
-
I've never seen a 'hmph' before.
Oh, come now, Don_1, we ALL know the truth about you and certain cavorting nymphs (soul sisters of hmphs).
Who let the cat out of the bag? Tch tch tch, is nothing sacred anymore?
-
3. As a piano player, I always know what bar I'm in.
They can always recognise the ceiling!!!(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-eatdrink048.gif&hash=1a29116b950efd292558fd33415610ec) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
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By jove, Demo, you are on the ball, if you get any more up-to-the-minute, you'll be in the future.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi38.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe146%2Fvgupload%2FBowA.gif&hash=a13716a74aaed79cfe3627ab53b9b860)
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3. As a piano player, I always know what bar I'm in.
They can always recognise the ceiling!!!(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-eatdrink048.gif&hash=1a29116b950efd292558fd33415610ec) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Piano players are considered to be Baldwin they lose their hair.
-
..... and pegged out when they are legless.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi467.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Frr40%2F413200%2FLaughing_Hyena80.gif&hash=4cfd811b62657d986c0ce7439b75e042)
-
I'll admit my Spannish ain't great...
You just can't let go of that anna doll/honey/sweetie-pie, can you???
Admit it!
-
Oh! I get it now, Cinco, as in "Spannish economy has gone down the plug hole in the sinko."
Yes, Titanically speaking.
-
egguator*
*Restaurant Personnel who serve eggs.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.lionking.org%2F%7Einhix%2FLinks%2Fedlaugh.gif&hash=238b55f73c01e2d644caddba61f8d6f2)
-
I'll admit my Spannish ain't great...
You just can't let go of that anna doll/honey/sweetie-pie, can you???
Admit it!
I categorically dannay deny any such suggestion.
-
Don_1, you're lucky you're not in France.
They would not look kindly AT ALL on your association with Paris' finest and hottest and wildest lady of the evening (yes, you guessed right: Anna!)
In cold, hard fact, it's...a crime!
As you will see sooner than later, French gendarmes don't use yellow crime scene tape but prefer cordon bleu.
-
Tch, tch, tch. Your speelling leeves a loot two bee dezired, awe iz it the frensch hwo nead lessens.
With the language he uses, Cordon Ramsay should be renamed Gordon Blue*.
*Gnote the korekt speellling ov thiss werd, B L U E (or bloo).
If the French gendarmes send two dirty low down bum hit men to get me, would they be ass ass ins?
-
If the French gendarmes send two dirty low down bum hit men to get me, would they be ass ass ins?
No, the French gendarmes will send only one hit man to get you.
The other hit man is a murderer who just got sick with heartburn because of something the assassinate.
-
Today is:
Accountant's Day or Accounting Day
I wasted the whole day yesterday taking note of how many insects crawled out of a hole in the ground,
all because someone told me it was a count ant day.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.picgifs.com%2Fgraphics%2Fl%2Flaughing%2Fgraphics-laughing-354963.gif&hash=3531efbf41999324bbc1b5ae166c36e4)
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It looks as if I am in the clear. The two hit men boarded a plane to India by mistake.
Perhaps they were Spannish! (http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/football/world-football/2012/05/15/dozy-athletic-bilbao-fans-fly-to-wrong-country-for-europa-league-final-86908-23859909/)
Best warn any members in India, perhaps they might be daft enough to commit an ass ass in asian.
-
Perhaps they were Spannish! (http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/football/world-football/2012/05/15/dozy-athletic-bilbao-fans-fly-to-wrong-country-for-europa-league-final-86908-23859909/)
Hungarian airport officials told the fans "Bu can rest yourselves here and watch the match on TV."
But police ejected one fan saying "But da pest will have to go."
-
Are we really that hungary for puns?
But at least we don't have to worry about Rome and India.
-
It looks as if I am in the clear. The two hit men boarded a plane to India by mistake.
Perhaps they were Spannish! (http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/football/world-football/2012/05/15/dozy-athletic-bilbao-fans-fly-to-wrong-country-for-europa-league-final-86908-23859909/)
Best warn any members in India, perhaps they might be daft enough to commit an ass ass in ASIAn.
You're not fooling me or anyone else here for even one moment.
You're just looking for an excuse to go to ASIA by way of Afghanna anna*stan!
*Elegant counterpoint to ass ass
-
We're talking about buns again? As Homer says; dough!
-
We're talking about buns again?
We must.
Don_1 just took a job as a baker; and he already has ten children and yet there's always a bun in the oven.
We must stop him, Donnah.
For his own sake.
As Homer says; dough!
Donnah, it is our doughty.
-
And yes, I love it when you talk doughty to me.
-
[Hungarian] police ejected one fan saying "But da pest will have to go."
The two hit men boarded a plane to India by mistake.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.threadbombing.com%2Fdata%2Fmedia%2F2%2Fbaked_laugh.gif&hash=2dd95a3954209768844cf5b8c7552f33)
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We're talking about buns again?
We must.
Don_1 just took a job as a baker; and he already has ten children and yet there's always a bun in the oven.
We must stop him, Donnah.
For his own sake.
As Homer says; dough!
Donnah, it is our doughty.
Hide the yeast; no rise, no buns (in the oven).
-
Hide the yeast?
OK, but will Don_1 still be able to rise to the occasion???
It would undoubtedly lift his mood.
-
Does he really knead to rise? Maybe flours will cheer him up.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fanimated-gifs.org%2Fwp-content%2Fthemes%2Ffrugal%2Fgraphics%2Fcat%2Flaughing-out-loud%2Flol-smiley-bounce-ag1.gif&hash=e1e5784978cbed3a8e2a26a1e714bfb7)
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Does he really knead to rise? Maybe flours will cheer him up.
Flour? Yeast? These things cost a lotta dough, Donnah.
I don't usually have that much bread in the bank.
I'm having a hard enough time already earning a crust these days!
-
Does he really knead to rise? Maybe flours will cheer him up.
Flour? Yeast? These things cost a lotta dough, Donnah.
I don't usually have that much bread in the bank.
I'm having a hard enough time already earning a crust these days!
I'm sure you'll be able to butter him up Donnah.
-
OK, but will Don_1 still be able to rise to the occasion???
Yes I will and I can prove it.
-
I'm having a hard enough time already earning a crust these days!
And there I was thinking you were on a roll!
I heard you were quite jammy.
Speaking of which, Sir Walter Raleigh was famous for laying his cape over a puddle so that QE 1st would not get her feet wet. She asked him "Did you do that for me Walt?" He replied "Yes Marm a laid it to protect the royal tootsies."
-
Royal tootsies lol!!
-
May 15 to May 21, 2012
World Trade Week
Tomorrow is the last day!
Why is it week? I thought world commerce was really strong?
I wouldn't trade my existence for someone else's.
-
Not even upper crust?
-
I wouldn't trade my existence for someone else's.
Not even upper crust?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fcddf834b.jpg&hash=e66a4290f403fbf9e035883a3e88613f)
Something for the Upper Crust (pun intended) - Batch Bread
But if you mean upper class, the students on the top floor of the school are _always_ upper class.
-
My definition of upper is likely different than most. I am delighted to be a crusty old bread though.
-
My definition of upper is likely different than most.
I just had an upper GI done. For fun. (rhymes : - )
-
I just had an upper GI done
I really only did it for fun
Now my troubles have begun
The GI brought his awful son.
In a race between me and this one
Beneath a bright and burning sun
Even before the race was run
I felt my feet weighed a ton.
I had the urge to make a pun
As I sank my teeth in a current bun
And the starter then fired his gun
Which distressed a passing nun.
She slapped the burly starter hun
Around and around he was spun
When he recovered from this stun
He drove off in his Shogun.
So the moral you might expects
Not do like Demografx
But to sit and reflects
And clean those bloody dirty specs.
What a load of rubbish!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F638b193e.jpg&hash=e506994ca68864dfbd94b75588e47c65)
Two out of three (2/3) Gastroenterologists Worldwide recommend Don_1 poetry as a serious therapeutic adjunct.
Don't forget to see Don's TV commercial on the very next episode of "Gastroenterologists Gone Wild!" (seen on HBO and BBC nightly).
It's a gas!
Check your local TV listings.
-
2/3 Gastroenterologists are seriously bonkers.
They are grasping at straws and gasping for breath.
If a gaol breaker can be termed as an escape ologist. could a house breaker be termed as an enter ologist?
Is Gastroenterology the study of farting?
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If a gaol breaker can be termed as an escape ologist. could a house breaker be termed as an enter ologist?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2bc9cce7.jpg&hash=2028267c109adf26637e33565315842a)
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And he hURLs himself out of the helicopter.
-
I don't understand the link, Donnah.
-
You mean to say it's a...hURLicopter?
-
Tch, tch, U R L when you get in this funny mood.
-
I don't understand the link, Donnah.
I am just seeking (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westland_Sea_King) better lynx (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westland_Lynx) for you to follow. But I am being careful as I don't want you to get air sick or sky (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sikorsky_Aircraft_Corporation) sick, while you are up there where le birds (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whirlybirds) fly.
They say that Russian helicopters aren't a pache on on Westlands. Ah well, chin ook up!
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.swish-designs.co.uk%2Fimages%2FSD-Helicopter.gif&hash=cd0e1d8875f5ebb505a359977c89c59d)
Don_1: Attention re your helicopter
TNS' CFO requests that you please move said vehicle as soon as humanly convenient. He said you are now obstructing the entrance to TNS' Executive Offices Wash Room. Just down the hall from TNS' West Wing.
Hurry! This blocked rest, wash room is making me claustrophobic! Move that chopper! I have more posts to write!!!
-
Whoever made that request is full of crap.
-
So CFO means Crap Fulla Officer???
CEO is Crap Exit Officer?
I won't ask about the Chair of THIS company!
I don't want to be a sitting duck. Lame Duck? Yeah, that's much easier for me to be.
-
So, my chopper is getting in peoples way eh!? That's a first!!!
Right then, I'll buzz off to somewhere more accomodating, like the rotory Club.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ficonbug.com%2Fdata%2F31%2F128%2F0b456f8325bb8f72e52988f378aea5f5.png&hash=0d7f854e5178b0e21de24568d7f7dc5c) ITS NATIONAL I SCREAM WEEK (http://www.nationalicecreamweek.com/)!!!
Have I misunderstood something?
-
I shall begin my appreciation of this event on sundae.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ficonbug.com%2Fdata%2F31%2F128%2F0b456f8325bb8f72e52988f378aea5f5.png&hash=0d7f854e5178b0e21de24568d7f7dc5c) ITS NATIONAL I SCREAM WEEK (http://www.nationalicecreamweek.com/)!!!
Have I misunderstood something?
You like the movies so much, couldn't you just as well have had a...
PRIVATE
SCREAMING?
-
Whoever made that request is full of crap.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wildcarp.com%2Fsitebuildercontent%2Fsitebuilderpictures%2Fcarp62lbcoverdvdweb.jpeg&hash=0a8d38d89a01b096c7b465b3d4f5f2a5)
Yes, Donnah, but if he's full of carp, we should get a nice commission when he sells it!
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I shall begin my appreciation of this event on sundae.
Aha! Soda truth is finally being revealed by Don_1:
"It was a sundae when Abe 'n Anna split."
Thank you, Don! I've been remiss; I just haven't been keeping up with my 'Biblical Facts/Statistics/Outliers/Holy Truths' course. I hope I pass/fail.
(Boy, does Anna ever get around, or what???)
-
I'll buzz off to somewhere more accomodating, like the rotory Club.
Or perhaps like The New World Rotor? Or, you can always land on The Flying Nuns, or park at the Freemasons (but they charge too much). Then there's always plenty of parking spaces at Rosy Cross, a Wing of The Red Cross, and of course The Kites of Columbus are always sympathetic to what's up in the air. Your choice.
-
Even after the Hindenburg disaster they are doing it again with the Build-a-burg. Since the Hindenburg looked like a hot dog I guess the Build-a-burg will be like a hamburger.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fa3f5518a.jpg&hash=2eeddd4311b8c5500e46e4054f7714ad)
Donnah, as you requested I located The Hindenburg in The Hamburger (newspaper).
-
Where DO you get this stuff? Got a pic of the Build-a-burgers?
-
Today is June 5th
Cinco de Junio???
-
Where DO you get this stuff? Got a pic of the Build-a-burgers?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthestore.gameops.com%2Fv%2Fvspfiles%2Fphotos%2FBuildBurger-1.jpg&hash=29d4093f2ca2433545ff96e21d263b5d)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fusers.commspeed.net%2Fguzzi%2Fimages%2Fbuild-a-burger.jpg&hash=49b722038dcf67f82eb667ea6f8d8caf)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gonewnorth.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F02%2Ffk1.png&hash=706c7874257434703ac1d458e47090c3)
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Hahahahaha.
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My wish is your command, O Donnah!
-
Right then, I'd like to have the winning lottery ticket please.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.voice-tribune.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F03%2FFotolia_4537344_Subscription_XL.jpg&hash=4e22a6e33e07e232ef17c7a72973579a)
As you requested!
Just look in your back yard! You'll see it!
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Well we have catnip plants that is our cat currency. Odyn comes when I call as long as I wave a catnip frond at him (the little nipper).
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Felgrandepics.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F04%2FCatnip.jpg&hash=2cf221876998f6b445bf7bc851dee867)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdnbakmi.kaltura.com%2Fp%2F695492%2Fsp%2F69549200%2Fthumbnail%2Fentry_id%2F1_f2ijolx5%2Fwidth%2F634%2Fheight%2F484&hash=3105e7739faea5dcc76667a479502ec0)
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My human misleads you. I had the plant in my mouth but I didn't inhale.
Odyn
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwritehanded.files.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F06%2Ffunny-pictures-cat-smokes-catnip.jpg&hash=221b4e81126f16e69270eb8156cc1737)
Odyn!
Listen to *Master Donnah!
*Mistress just doesn't sound right...
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Here Odyn!!!
I've got your supper
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.formanandfield.com%2Fimages%2Fcategories%2FKippers.jpg&hash=c114b81dc7e403b7271d850378fcd257)
Yes, you could say they are Odyn's Golden Kippers (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcROWLqv8Ik)
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M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m. Please send the recipe to my human. She only gives me sardines, herring, beef, pork, chicken, veggies and biscuits. Kippers smothered in butter and garnished with fresh catnip sounds so much better!!
Odyn
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.formanandfield.com%2Fimages%2Fcategories%2FKippers.jpg&hash=c114b81dc7e403b7271d850378fcd257)
Mmm, looks like yummy fried plantains/bananas!
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M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m. Please send the recipe to my human. She only gives me sardines, herring, beef, pork, chicken, veggies and biscuits. Kippers smothered in butter and garnished with fresh catnip sounds so much better!!
Odyn
Good grief Odyn, I would have Thort you would have got your human under control by now.
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Mmm, looks like yummy fried plantains/bananas!
Yes, we have no plantains,
We have no plantains today.
Doesn't seem to work so well, does it? Perhaps Herb Alpert should do it tijuana style. He could get Anna to do the vocals....... Oh no, I forgot, you banned anna.
-
Sorry I have been absent for a while, and I will be again for now. I'm off back to Glasgow 1st thing in the morning.
Another chance to stock up on Haggis.
Och aye the noo.
-
Best wishes in Glasgow!
-
Mmm, looks like yummy fried plantains/bananas!
Yes, we have no plantains,
We have no plantains today.
Doesn't seem to work so well, does it? Perhaps Herb Alpert should do it tijuana style. He could get Anna to do the vocals....... Oh no, I forgot, you banned anna.
No. Anna was un banned.
So she is not to be banned, that anna, ok?
-
And he hURLs himself out of the helicopter.
It must be a whURLybird.
-
M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m. Please send the recipe to my human. She only gives me sardines, herring, beef, pork, chicken, veggies and biscuits. Kippers smothered in butter and garnished with fresh catnip sounds so much better!!
Odyn
Good grief Odyn, I would have Thort you would have got your human under control by now.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.selecthomedecor.com%2Fassets%2Fimages%2FAF%2F10132980.jpg&hash=3b698127ca2a7626a13c6d4d0a6230d8)
As you can see from this recent sculpting, Odyn's attitude does not leave room for listening to mere mortals like Don_1. Nooo.
-
Valerie! Where are you? Come see what Demo wrote here.
Just loki at that, he'l be sorry. Come on Val hall a look and tell me, what have I dun to him?
-
Best wishes in Glasgow!
Ta very much. Back home now, but off again tomorrow. Looking forward to Haggis Neeps & Tatty's on Sunday. I'd have a wee dram with it, but I only have open the bottle, these days, and I'm pi**ed as a fart!
Just to set record straight and in case you were wondering when I shall be enjoying my Haggis,
it should be obvious from the above posts. O dinner time.
-
I had Haggis for lunch, it was offal.
-
Haggis self a good time Don_1.
-
If he's kilt his haggis & scoffed his tartan custard, Don'll get the griddle out and drop a few Scottish puncakes.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.selecthomedecor.com%2Fassets%2Fimages%2FAF%2F10132980.jpg&hash=3b698127ca2a7626a13c6d4d0a6230d8)
Donnah, does the above statue adequately convey Odyn's outlook on life?
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If he's kilt his haggis & scoffed his tartan custard, Don'll get the griddle out and drop a few Scottish puncakes.
A pancake pun!!! Crumbs, that's got me in a flap Jack. Oh crepe, I just can't think of one.
-
No time for pancakes!
I was in a big hurry so I just scrambled to make eggs for breakfast.
-
I hope you came by those eggs legitimately, I should hate to think were poached.
-
Is this a yolk?
Poaching?
You think I would stoop as low as an Egg Benedict and be a traitor?
I'd become a Hollandaise citizen before ever considering THAT!
Fry my words!
-
The statue conveys Odyn's outlook on life egg-xactly!
-
Is this a yolk?
Poaching?
You think I would stoop as low as an Egg Benedict and be a traitor?
I'd become a Hollandaise citizen before ever considering THAT!
Fry my words!
I'm glad to hear this. Well, read it actually. I can only hope that al bu men and women have not been shelling out too much dosh for your eggs. Personally, I think the price of eggs should be laid down in law.
A cracking idea, don't you think. Om letteing my MP know of my proposal and asking him to submit a private members beak bill to parliament. I do hope it dosen't get beaten in the vote. The trouble is, some MP's can be vindictive. You'll find them er ingueing about Westminster, waiting to whip up trouble. Perhaps I'll just nog them on the head or flip them over, cus t ard treatment is all they understand.
Do you sometimes get the feeling you've seen these puns somewhere before?
-
The statue conveys Odyn's outlook on life egg-xactly!
I tried to phone Odyn yesterday.
ring ring - ring ring - ring ring
Hello.
Hello is t'at ue Odyn?
Nah, this is Thor here
Sorry, I dun rung the wrong number
You mere mortals have got a liberty ringing us Gods, I'm getting a bit bronzed brassed off with it.
click click - brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
-
I'd become a Hollandaise citizen before ever considering THAT!
When they go out for a meal with friends, do they always go dutch?
-
The statue conveys Odyn's outlook on life egg-xactly!
Dozen that say it all!
-
I'd become a Hollandaise citizen before ever considering THAT!
When they go out for a meal with friends, do they always go dutch?
Eggsellent observation, Don_1!
-
The statue conveys Odyn's outlook on life egg-xactly!
Dozen that say it all!
Not half!
-
I'd become a Hollandaise citizen before ever considering THAT!
When they go out for a meal with friends, do they always go dutch?
Eggsellent observation, Don_1!
Thank you so very much, and you should know, being a man of great eggsperience
-
June 21-24 (Last Weekend Thurs. to Sun.) is:
Watermelon Seed Spitting Week:
Watermelon Seed Spitting Contest:
Items Needed:
1. Watermelon seeds
2. A watermelon for the winner
Instructions:
1. Give each player a watermelon seed.
2. Have the players line up and take turns spitting the watermelon seeds as far as they can.
3. The one that spits the watermelon seed the farthest is the winner.
4. Award the winner a watermelon.
-
Watermelon Seed Spitting Week:
Watermelon Seed Spitting Contest:
Oh my gourd, whatever next!
I suppose the winner of the contest might be happy enough, but the one who is pipped at the post might become meloncholy.
-
The one who is pipped at the post might become meloncholy.
Just like a sheep dog puppy who likes cantaloupe might become a melon collie baby.
-
The statue conveys Odyn's outlook on life egg-xactly!
I tried to phone Odyn yesterday.
ring ring - ring ring - ring ring
Hello.
Hello is t'at ue Odyn?
Nah, this is Thor here
Sorry, I dun rung the wrong number
You mere mortals have got a liberty ringing us Gods, I'm getting a bit bronzed brassed off with it.
click click - brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mobileapples.com%2FAssets%2FContent%2FScreensavers%2Fother9731.gif&hash=88adedbe9d8f83f8b3d29d7bd93f661f)
-
Watermelon Seed Spitting Week:
Watermelon Seed Spitting Contest:
Oh my gourd, whatever next!
Oh, you heard about the upcoming pee-ing contest???
-
And he hURLs himself out of the helicopter.
It must be a whURLybird.
Or am I confusing that with, "It's the URLy bird that gets the worm."?
-
Watermelon Seed Spitting Week:
Watermelon Seed Spitting Contest:
Oh my gourd, whatever next!
Oh, you heard about the upcoming pee-ing contest???
Isn't that the daily MO for some peeple?
BTW Odyn loves cantaloupe and papaya.
-
Odyn was going to take Anna to Gretna Green so they could get married.
Anna said, "Will we ride off into the sunset with me on the back of your bike?"
Odyn answered "I don't have a bike, but I 'av a car do.
Anna said, "Good man go and get it."
Anna's father suddenly appeared.
Odyn said, "OK Papa ya gonna try to stop us?"
"Yep." Said Anna's father, "You can't elope with her. I ban Anna from marrying you."
Not the 'Ban Anna' again!!!!
-
Odyn was going to take Anna to Gretna Green so they could get married.
Anna said, "Will we ride off into the sunset with me on the back of your bike?"
Odyn answered "I don't have a bike, but I 'av a car do.
Anna said, "Good man go and get it."
Anna's father suddenly appeared.
Odyn said, "OK Papa ya gonna try to stop us?"
"Yep." Said Anna's father, "You can't elope with her. I ban Anna from marrying you."
Not the 'Ban Anna' again!!!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fkoreanchingu.files.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F11%2Fmelon-award.jpg%3Fw%3D476&hash=bf92517a5c4af9e1c2a36e0739ed6f16)
Yup, you guessed it: I checked the Awards Committee and Don_1 indeed qualifies!!
-
As does 'The Melon song', all 10hrs of it.
No, that's not a typo, 10hrs!!!
Link = The Melon Song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7vL9OWuud8). Don't even think about going there.
Its not for the puny.
-
10 hours!!!!!????? Oh my Thor!!
"Yep." Said Anna's father, "You can't elope with her.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fb9c992af.jpg&hash=8772a85a40cf706c4aee531d4b7f7355)
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F-wxIA4hVVwIQ%2FT4hIR_k0BuI%2FAAAAAAAAAiQ%2FoXDE3avYrzg%2Fs1600%2Flemon.jpg&hash=da42397581c4fc936958ab0ced54e105)
Dyslexic melon.
-
Odyn loves cantaloupe and papaya.
Odyn said, "OK Papa ya gonna try to stop us?"
Mom: "Ted, ask Daddy if he's ill."
Ted: "Papaya sick?"
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F-wxIA4hVVwIQ%2FT4hIR_k0BuI%2FAAAAAAAAAiQ%2FoXDE3avYrzg%2Fs1600%2Flemon.jpg&hash=da42397581c4fc936958ab0ced54e105)
Dyslexic melon.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.paraorkut.com%2Fimg%2Fpics%2Fglitters%2Fl%2Flemon_party-7474.gif&hash=947c3360c8bfc40c775d84745c3ebe84)
-
Guess where I'm going....
[ Invalid Attachment ]
The Lemon 24hr race.
-
10 hours!!!!!????? Oh my Thor!!
"Yep." Said Anna's father, "You can't elope with her.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fb9c992af.jpg&hash=8772a85a40cf706c4aee531d4b7f7355)
The melon boy cried when he seed she meant it and, needing comfort, he hugged his dog, the melon-collie.
-
Awww!!!
-
Which one is dyslexic, Blind Lemon Jefferson, or Blind Lemon Chitlin ?
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0afe8011.jpg&hash=cb28d5127b3898d6809f6a7eac5252b7)
As you requested!
(Hmm, wonder if he plays piano...)
-
June 26, 2012 is:
International Day Against Drug Abuse and Illicit Trafficking
Odyn, take heed!
My human misleads you. I had the plant in my mouth but I didn't inhale.
Odyn
Odyn, have your lawyer help you modify your post as it is incriminating.
-
Guess where I'm going....
[ Invalid Attachment ]
The Lemon 24hr race.
Good luck! I bet $50 on you to win!
-
Guess where I'm going....
[ Invalid Attachment ]
The Lemon 24hr race.
Good luck! I bet $50 on you to win!
Sucker!!! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pic4ever.com%2Fimages%2F251.gif&hash=9f6c958f06bec52771916d5bac4645b2)
-
When life gives you melons, are you supposed to make melonade???
-
Guess where I'm going....
[ Invalid Attachment ]
The Lemon 24hr race.
Good luck! I bet $50 on you to win!
Sucker!!! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pic4ever.com%2Fimages%2F251.gif&hash=9f6c958f06bec52771916d5bac4645b2)
Sure. You can, too!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftakkic.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F06%2Flemon-sucker-5.jpg&hash=bd82732ee040c1b153f85bc049abb5a5)
-
When life gives you melons, are you supposed to make melonade???
If you suffer a mountainous stomach ache after eating an Indian Pomme, could you be suffering from the Appalachians?
-
Demo thought that post was a tad on the obtuse side. Allow moi to extrapolate.
Filthy swine, you do that sort of thing behind closed doors!
Mountains = Huge bits of Terra Firma poking up in the air.
Indian = Asian.
Pomme = Apple.
Pomme + Indian = apple asian = Appalachian Mountains
-
I seriously need help.
Is there a trick cyclist in the house?
-
Don_1, thank you for sparing me the embarrassment of posting "Indianapolis here I come" in reply to your now un-obtuse post : - )
-
I seriously need help.
Is there a trick cyclist in the house?
No, but my French Auntie Déprésiance can help.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwwwdelivery.superstock.com%2FWI%2F223%2F4102%2FPreviewComp%2FSuperStock_4102-511.jpg&hash=60a4c4571b17acfe6394d6475f2b0d62)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffiles.myopera.com%2Feagle4eyes%2Falbums%2F544259%2Fsour-puss-lemon-face.gif&hash=06780ea68f05ba2a0f115d0dce281351)
-
Would someone kindly change the subject? I'm out of lemon gifs.
-
Would someone kindly change the subject? I'm out of lemon gifs.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwwwdelivery.superstock.com%2FWI%2F223%2F4102%2FPreviewComp%2FSuperStock_4102-511.jpg&hash=60a4c4571b17acfe6394d6475f2b0d62)
Is one to presume the title of this one is 'Gif us a kiss'?
Here, have this one on me:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.istockimg.com%2Ffile_thumbview_approve%2F1032952%2F2%2Fstock-illustration-1032952-lemon-cartoon.jpg&hash=9523aa2cac1c81bd1c3ba895b31b1717)
I have a whole battery of them!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thenakedscientists.com%2FHTML%2Fuploads%2FRTEmagicC_LemonBattery-diagram_01.png.png&hash=b4e494f2eed7d0e6d682c62be20ba12a)
Guess where I nicked that piccy from http://www.thenakedscientists.com/HTML/content/kitchenscience/exp/charging-ipods-with-lemons/ (http://www.thenakedscientists.com/HTML/content/kitchenscience/exp/charging-ipods-with-lemons/)
-
Wait a sec.
Are you allowing Real Science on this thread???
Horrors.
<praying to Thor for battery puns to be more (+) or less (-) fluid>
You'll see! My nonsense Non-Science will prove far superior!
Ohmmmm.
No acid remarks, please!
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffiles.myopera.com%2Feagle4eyes%2Falbums%2F544259%2Fsour-puss-lemon-face.gif&hash=06780ea68f05ba2a0f115d0dce281351)
I'm sure you didn't mean it, Don, but this one feels left out.
Like you don't want to gif it a kiss.
-
I have a whole battery of them!
I got angry when my cell phone battery died.
My psychiatrist suggested I find an outlet.
I guess that's why he gets paid the big bucks.
-
Here, have this one on me:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.istockimg.com%2Ffile_thumbview_approve%2F1032952%2F2%2Fstock-illustration-1032952-lemon-cartoon.jpg&hash=9523aa2cac1c81bd1c3ba895b31b1717)
Why, thank you!
Could this be some kind of Thread Award from Don_1 that shows what the average person (or lemon, in this case) looks like after reading our posts?
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffiles.myopera.com%2Feagle4eyes%2Falbums%2F544259%2Fsour-puss-lemon-face.gif&hash=06780ea68f05ba2a0f115d0dce281351)
I'm sure you didn't mean it, Don, but this one feels left out.
Like you don't want to gif it a kiss.
sour-puss
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffiles.myopera.com%2Feagle4eyes%2Falbums%2F544259%2Fsour-puss-lemon-face.gif&hash=06780ea68f05ba2a0f115d0dce281351)
I'm sure you didn't mean it, Don, but this one feels left out.
Like you don't want to gif it a kiss.
sour-puss
Let's you, me, and Don_1 get together and lemonstrate! Protest!
-
Let's you, me, and Don_1 get together and lemonstrate! Protest!
Why, of course, why did we think of it before. As Sherlock would have said, 'Lemonentry my dear Watson'.
After I had been sucking on a lemon and tried to speak, a chap with a speech impediment said to me, 'Are you taking the pith?'
-
After I had been sucking on a lemon and tried to speak, a chap with a speech impediment said to me, 'Are you taking the pith?'
Don_1 replied, "No, but we've run out of lemons!", Don said bitterly.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fdd1df9d5.jpg&hash=ec34c1dbf3a50d2169f7302a054face5)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fa8724812.jpg&hash=a699d6a7a4b3f4acb8ee4f0289050277)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fe4e1a542.jpg&hash=229697e00fabfe9f0999328866e5332b)
He couldn't handle the daily rind.
-
Could something more bitter than a lemon be described as sublime?
-
Is citrus alone who squeeze words to bring lemon aid to all? Perhaps we can package it in bio-tins and send it to the sour-pusses of the world.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.foodclipart.com%2Ffood_clipart_images%2Flemon_meringue_pie_0515-0905-1214-5642_SMU.jpg&hash=61610df21fa3296a54b643c56ceaf438)
Don't we all deserve some lemon meringue pie for all these beautifully bitter lemon puns???
-
Could something more bitter than a lemon be described as sublime?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fe3899bd2.jpg&hash=7dbd2f62b7d932feb9139f07d812b2fe)
Yes! Don_1 wins The Sublime T-Shirt Award! (SUBmarine...LIME...get it? All that plus Lemon Fish!!!)
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.foodclipart.com%2Ffood_clipart_images%2Flemon_meringue_pie_0515-0905-1214-5642_SMU.jpg&hash=61610df21fa3296a54b643c56ceaf438)
Don't we all deserve some lemon meringue pie for all these beautifully bitter lemon puns???
Ooo! I haven't that for years!
I'm er 'anging about for a healthy slice of pie.
-
As I was going to Scarborough Fair,
I met a man who had no hair.
'What ho baldy' said I and laughed,
'Wrong rhyme' said he, 'I think your daft.'
'What's that?' I questioned of the man
And turned my head my ears to pan.
I have some custard and sponge in this ear
And in the other jelly and orange appear.
'Custard and sponge in one orifice
Jelly and orange,that can't be very nice'
You're either a very clumsy chef
Or I think that you are a triffle deaf.
-
Hear, hear!!!
-
As I was going to Scarborough Fair,
I met a man who had no hair.
'What ho baldy' said I and laughed,
'Wrong rhyme' said he, 'I think your daft.'
'What's that?' I questioned of the man
And turned my head my ears to pan.
I have some custard and sponge in this ear
And in the other jelly and orange appear.
'Custard and sponge in one orifice
Jelly and orange,that can't be very nice'
You're either a very clumsy chef
Or I think that you are a triffle deaf.
Hear, hear!!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdata.whicdn.com%2Fimages%2F11668636%2Fburger-cool-ear-muffs-fashion-food-funny-Favim.com-95835_large.jpg&hash=538bcfad5b9dd473d44017537977d144)
Donnah hearby confirms that Don_1 is hearby Awarded the coveted 2012 Annual (each and every year) Creative Food-In-Orifices Award! Wild applause!!!!
-
君召使擯,色勃如也,足躩如也。揖所與立,左右手。衣前後,襜如也。趨進,翼如也。賓退,必復命曰:「賓不顧矣
Sometimes I detect confucian in Don_1's puns.
Yet I cant honestly say why.
But right now I am hungry and want to chow down.
And don't tell me that's mandarintory!
-
Ah, so, Confucious say, man who put bunwich on headphones got bunny ears.
-
Q. Do you know how to catch a unique bunny?
A. Unique up on it.
Q. Do you know how to catch a tame bunny?
A. Tame way.
-
君召使擯,色勃如也,足躩如也。揖所與立,左右手。衣前後,襜如也。趨進,翼如也。賓退,必復命曰:「賓不顧矣
Sometimes I detect confucian in Don_1's puns.
Yet I cant honestly say why.
But right now I am hungry and want to chow down.
And don't tell me that's mandarintory!
Please, please, please, don't do this again without giving prior warning. When such language is used, I have to keep my patella's covered because I have shy knees. I need time to prepare, I cant on demand just cover them, or they may end up peeking out. I must keep my mouth closed or now see tongue go the same way as my knees.
LOOK OUT!!!
What's happening? there's esch wan of my knee's uncovered.
-
君召使擯,色勃如也,足躩如也。揖所與立,左右手。衣前後,襜如也。趨進,翼如也。賓退,必復命曰:「賓不顧矣
Translation:-
The prince called 擯, color, and also as Hubble is HKSARG has been in close communication. With the National Police, left- and right-handed. Yi 襜 as before and after also. In inlet appear poised to wing it. Gentlemen, life will be raised up: "Gentlemen, careth not
Yep, anything you say.
-
Q. Do you know how to catch a unique bunny?
A. Unique up on it.
Q. Do you know how to catch a tame bunny?
A. Tame way.
Have you been at the Christmas crackers again?
Two can play at that game.
How do you make an apple tart?
Take away its sugar.
How do you poach a pear?
Poach one, then poach another one.
Why do you never go hungry at the seaside?
Because of the sandwhich is there.
I needed to borrow some money, so I got a drum, so I could go ta da bank, ta da bank, ta da bank bank bank.
Don't blame me! You started it.
-
Blame you?? I love it!!!!!
-
君召使擯,色勃如也,足躩如也。揖所與立,左右手。衣前後,襜如也。趨進,翼如也。賓退,必復命曰:「賓不顧矣
Translation:-
The prince called 擯, color, and also as Hubble is HKSARG has been in close communication. With the National Police, left- and right-handed. Yi 襜 as before and after also. In inlet appear poised to wing it. Gentlemen, life will be raised up: "Gentlemen, careth not
Yep, anything you say.
Do you find anything wrong with this fine translation?????
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-IoZ0sOXl-vg%2FTxBbc9vr73I%2FAAAAAAAACIw%2F0I0cF92M48g%2Fs1600%2Fhappy_friday_13th.jpg&hash=9a9d789996ceb3ee78cb8765c58c9d70)
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君召使擯,色勃如也,足躩如也。揖所與立,左右手。衣前後,襜如也。趨進,翼如也。賓退,必復命曰:「賓不顧矣
Translation:-
The prince called 擯, color, and also as Hubble is HKSARG has been in close communication. With the National Police, left- and right-handed. Yi 襜 as before and after also. In inlet appear poised to wing it. Gentlemen, life will be raised up: "Gentlemen, careth not
Yep, anything you say.
I want to say, very sincerely, this one was hilarious. And I'm NOT mirthing over the recent house of mirrors visit with Odyn. This one's funnier, Don_1!
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-IoZ0sOXl-vg%2FTxBbc9vr73I%2FAAAAAAAACIw%2F0I0cF92M48g%2Fs1600%2Fhappy_friday_13th.jpg&hash=9a9d789996ceb3ee78cb8765c58c9d70)
Hey, where did you get Odyn's picture from?
Actually I have a very funny pic of Odyn "helping" on the TNS site. If I ever get to finish unpacking, I'll post it when I find it.
-
Since Odyn is seeking counsel and defense representation for the "innocent plant in mouth" unlikely story, I would ask Odyn's permission to re-print the photo. Make sure you get it in
scratching writing.
I would hate to see you feline bad for getting sued by your own kitty.
-
Today is St Swithin's day.
If it rains today, it will rain for 40 days & 40 nights.
Ah well, at least there's an end in sight.
St Swithin, Bishop of Winchester, died in 862. On his death bed he asked to be buried in a humble grave outside the cathedral wall so 'sweet rain from Heaven' would fall on his grave.
The Monks thought this no fitting last resting place for a Bishop, so they built a shrine for his remains inside the cathedral. On the 15th July 971, they were to move his remains into the shrine. Legend has it that on that day and for the next 40 days and nights it pissed down there was torrential rain. The monks abandoned their plans, thinking it was St Swithin crying in despair.
Has some bugger moved his bones recently???
-
I suppose the problem was that the shrine was within the catherdral.
The monks must have cried, 'Look out, its hrining cats and dogs!'
Opps, Sorry Odyn.
-
I don't know weather or not you will like this:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fa128133b.jpg&hash=335b7ab35a72d7831c1d7aeddf2ba981)
'St. Swithin's day if thou dost rain
For forty days it will remain
St. Swithin's day if thou be fair
For forty days 'twill rain nae mair.'
dost = does
thou = you
nae mair = no more.
-
Q. Do you know how to catch a unique bunny?
A. Unique up on it.
Q. Do you know how to catch a tame bunny?
A. Tame way.
Have you been at the Christmas crackers again?
Two can play at that game.
How do you make an apple tart?
Take away its sugar.
How do you poach a pear?
Poach one, then poach another one.
Why do you never go hungry at the seaside?
Because of the sandwhich is there.
I needed to borrow some money, so I got a drum, so I could go ta da bank, ta da bank, ta da bank bank bank.
Don't blame me! You started it.
No, Donnah started it!
Ah, so, Confucious say, man who put bunwich on headphones got bunny ears.
-
Could something more bitter than a lemon be described as sublime?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fe3899bd2.jpg&hash=7dbd2f62b7d932feb9139f07d812b2fe)
Yes! Don_1 wins The Sublime T-Shirt Award! (SUBmarine...LIME...get it? All that plus Lemon Fish!!!)
Sorry, Don_1, but the Awards Committee notified me that they want you to pay shipping charges for the shirt!
They also only have 2 sizes: XXXXXLarge or Tiny-toddler.
-
They also only have 2 sizes: XXXXXLarge or Tiny-toddler.
Curses! One's too small, so is the other one.
-
dost = does
thou = you
nae mair = no more.
OR:-
Dost - stuff you pick up in a vacuum cleaner
Thou - 'though' as pronounced by a Brummy
Nae Mare - noise made by female horse
-
dost = does
thou = you
nae mair = no more.
OR:-
Dost - stuff you pick up in a vacuum cleaner
Thou - 'though' as pronounced by a Brummy
Nae Mare - noise made by female horse
Did you mean the noise made by the female or the noise made by the horse???
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx148%2Fpaul3rd_bucket%2Fpaul3rd_bucket%25202%2Fpaul3rd_bucket%25203%2FJennifer_Connelly_Horse1.gif&hash=aadf57b5e5f6b19ec7cf4d874391a601)
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They also only have 2 sizes: XXXXXLarge or Tiny-toddler.
Curses! One's too small, so is the other one.
They will give you your perfect fit size.
Only problem is that the only shirt left says:
I (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fopenclipart.org%2Fpeople%2Ftomas_arad%2Ftomas_arad_heart.svg&hash=79c7b6209899f2d5bc402c1d9f408fb1) Odyn
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Dost - stuff you pick up in a vacuum cleaner
I'm impressed! Men who know what a vacuum cleaner does!
I'll open that can of worms and go fishing!
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Dost - stuff you pick up in a vacuum cleaner
I'm impressed! mod edit Men Man who knows what a vacuum cleaner does!
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JUST A COTTON PICKIN' MINUTE THERE MR DEMOGRAFX!!!
I'm not the only man who knows what a vacuum cleaner does, Mr Dyson knows too.
Ah!!! Oooo, Er um, I seem to have just shot myself in the foot.
Kindly ignore this post. That shouldn't be difficult, most of my posts are easy to ignore.
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Dost - stuff you pick up in a vacuum cleaner
I'm impressed! Men who know what a vacuum cleaner does!
I'll open that can of worms and go fishing!
NOTE TO MYSELF:
If ever you happen to be visiting Donnah and she offers some light refreshement from a can, make your excuses and get out quick.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx148%2Fpaul3rd_bucket%2Fpaul3rd_bucket%25202%2Fpaul3rd_bucket%25203%2FJennifer_Connelly_Horse1.gif&hash=aadf57b5e5f6b19ec7cf4d874391a601)
She's still riding that ass and hasn't got very far has she???
Well, she may not win the Derby, but if she wants to go riding C - E - N - S - O - R - E - D
Go on, get out!(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pic4ever.com%2Fimages%2F97.gif&hash=ceb706cbe8ab616a48ecef701a15083d)
What??? What did I say???
OUT!!! Go on, hop it, you dirrrrty little old man.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx148%2Fpaul3rd_bucket%2Fpaul3rd_bucket%25202%2Fpaul3rd_bucket%25203%2FJennifer_Connelly_Horse1.gif&hash=aadf57b5e5f6b19ec7cf4d874391a601)
Q. She's still riding that ass and hasn't got very far has she???
A. Her own derrière? She's not riding a donkey!
OUT!!! Go on, hop it, you dirrrrty little old man.
Hop on her? Hop on horse? Hop on both? Hop on Pop? (<<Dr Seuss book)
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Btw, someone informed me that the animated pic above is the actress Jennifer Connolly in one of her movies.
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Btw, someone informed me that the animated pic above is the actress Jennifer Connolly in one of her movies.
Movie, maybe, but not movie very far.
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I have a painting by some shorthouse Parisian artist which I thought I would try to flog on eBay.
After all, I don't think I've got anything tou louse.
I sat in the van goghing all day because of this cold I have caught.
***Titian*** Bless you.
A passing police officer asked if I was alright. I thanked him for his concern and said 'Yes I'm fine contstable, I'll be bac on my way soon.
It takes a lot to raphael my feathers, you know, you have to goya long way to do it, but some things do rubens me up the wrong way. Not manet people can do it.
"Is that a fact?" Cez Anne. (Not Anne again! Is she in it for the monet?)
***Titian*** Doh! Here I gaugain, sneezing.
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JUST A COTTON PICKIN' MINUTE THERE MR DEMOGRAFX!!!
I'm not the only man who knows what a vacuum cleaner does, Mr Dyson knows too.
Ah!!! Oooo, Er um, I seem to have just shot myself in the foot.
Kindly ignore this post. That shouldn't be difficult, most of my posts are easy to ignore.
Did you see Mr. Dyson's latest ads? Apparently he's got balls.
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Balls and vacuum cleaners!!!
No, I'm not going there! I can see me saying something I will later regret.
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I have a painting by some shorthouse Parisian artist which I thought I would try to flog on eBay.
After all, I don't think I've got anything tou louse.
Not to lose, but to track...your fine entrepreneurship!
I sat in the van goghing all day because of this cold I have caught.
And you certainly caught that cold from drinking that cheap French Vin that is so cheap that only centimes does it cost!
A passing police officer asked if I was alright. I thanked him for his concern and said 'Yes I'm fine contstable, I'll be bac on my way soon.
Eggsactly what he wanted to hear!
It takes a lot to raphael my feathers, you know, you have to goya long way to do it, but some things do rubens me up the wrong way. Not manet people can do it.
"Is that a fact?" Cez Anne. (Not Anne again! Is she in it for the monet?)
***Titian*** Doh! Here I gaugain, sneezing.
Of course, Anne is ALWAYS in it for the monet!
Did you pick her ass to win? (no, no, at the races, you lecher!!)
Don_1, I'm not asking you to change all your beliefs!
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Did you see Mr. Dyson's latest ads? Apparently he's got balls.
Balls and vacuum cleaners!!!
No, I'm not going there! I can see me saying something I will later regret.
What's wrong with bacuum cleaners? It could start a trend!
Let's start a company! DonDonnahDemo Bacucleaning. Ltd.
edit All senior employees must have a college-level baculaureate degree.
We'll sell shares to Bernie Madoff!
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Or we could just call it 3D. BTW would you invest money with a person named Madoff?
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That's right, Donnah! "BM: Made off with America" is the name of an upcoming movie.
http://www.satanofwallstreet.com/main/index.php
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Or we could just call it 3D.
But then we would have to give each customer a set of glasses.
Expensive!
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Btw, someone informed me that the animated pic above is the actress Jennifer Connolly in one of her movies.
Movie, maybe, but not movie very far.
You prefer speed over sensuality? <giggle>
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They also only have 2 sizes: XXXXXLarge or Tiny-toddler.
Curses! One's too small, so is the other one.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnetanimations.net%2FLaughing-chimp-gif-animation.gif&hash=ab12bb3a827351181caeb470e89b4416)
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Dost - stuff you pick up in a vacuum cleaner
I'm impressed! Men who know what a vacuum cleaner does!
I'll open that can of worms and go fishing!
NOTE TO MYSELF:
If ever you happen to be visiting Donnah and she offers some light refreshement from a can, make your excuses and get out quick.
Do you really think you could worm your way out of that situation so easily???
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What on earth?
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What on earth?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgifsoup.com%2Fwebroot%2Fanimatedgifs%2F1049692_o.gif&hash=8102408f840d3aae82018057294e07db)
"Earth worms!"
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Btw, someone informed me that the animated pic above is the actress Jennifer Connolly in one of her movies.
Movie, maybe, but not movie very far.
You prefer speed over sensuality? <giggle>
Its not a question of preference! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-ashamed005.gif&hash=1c79a278bedf7ec624b32be088286225) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
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A passing police officer asked if I was alright. I thanked him for his concern and said 'Yes I'm fine contstable, I'll be bac on my way soon.
Eggsactly what he wanted to hear!
Oh my! I was told that would be your reply. He saw, sage did. He's bean so clever.
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What on earth?
C'mon, we can slug it out.
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Or we could just call it 3D. BTW would you invest money with a person named Madoff?
Not on your life. I invested with Robin B'stard.
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Sometimes I wonder if we have firebug brains instead of the normal neural networks.
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Neural networking is simply a form of social networking. Sorry, but Zuckerberg owns all the rights.
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Neural networking is simply a form of social networking. Sorry, but Zuckerberg owns all the rights.
Then its not too late, we can buy up all the lefts!!!
YIPEEE I'm rich, I'm rich.
Nope, sorry, my mistake, I'm Don.
Can't even remember my own name now.......
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Sometimes I wonder if we have firebug brains instead of the normal neural networks.
Brains? Brains? Who's got brains?
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Most of us have brains left, because Mark has all the rights.
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He has now taken the only remaining ones just the other day.
They were the last rites.
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Here is the 9 o'clock news.
My watch has stopped.
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Most of us have brains left, because Mark has all the rights.
He has now taken the only remaining ones just the other day.
They were the last rites.
Here is the 9 o'clock news.
My watch has stopped.
Who has the rights to your watch????
Or was it perhaps left somewhere???
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Who has the rights to your watch????
Or was it perhaps left somewhere???
I put it to you that this was not of your own doing, but that it was second hand.
Further more, that it is not viable lyrics for a melodic song, but rather that it ist rap.
You have been trying to fob us off in this instance.
M'Lud, I wrist my case.
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M'Lud, I wrist my case.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fe532f2ea.jpg&hash=30aa641779333a519ddc59ab429a7854)
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I posted the above so that you will all be able to discover, uncover and report one immediately!
Agent Demografx
At Your Protective Service
Always
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'Tis with great thanks that I reply to you, oh wonderous one.
Armed with this information, I'm sure I will be able to finger any terrorwrist now. I'm sure hel bow to my soupearior nolij and not try to palm me off with any humerous stories.
I shall metataskforce and raid 'is 'ouse. I'm sure I can now shoulder this burden with a little trainning from the Special Boat Service men in Scapula Flow.
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Its getting so that I look at my own posts and wonder what sort of imbecile wrote that rubbish.
I think I need a check-up from the neck up.
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Don_1, I had the same problem, so I occasionally give myself a prefrontal lobotomy after posting.
Now I admire my posts.
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I thought this was a brilliant idea, so asked 'er indoors to assist me in a lobotomy.
Alas, she did not quite understand what a lobotomy means and proceeded to chop my bum off.
Shitting will never be the same again.
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I have decided to confffesss (excuse the stuttttter) to my age.
View my profile, if you are really that hard up for something to do.
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I thought this was a brilliant idea, so asked 'er indoors to assist me in a lobotomy.
Alas, she did not quite understand what a lobotomy means and proceeded to chop my bum off.
Shitting will never be the same again.
Problem shifting? Just get an automatic like I did!
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I have decided to confffesss (excuse the stuttttter) to my age.
View my profile, if you are really that hard up for something to do.
Don_1 profile
Posts: 5,650,307 (see Guiness World Records)
Email: questionable@credentials.c om
Gender: Male (non-virgin)
Age:346
Location:Lunatic Asylum
Attitude: Yes
Methuselah, I find your Rip van Winkle description...modest.
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But perfect (A+) for this thread!
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I thought this was a brilliant idea, so asked 'er indoors to assist me in a lobotomy.
Alas, she did not quite understand what a lobotomy means and proceeded to chop my bum off.
Shitting will never be the same again.
Problem shifting? Just get an automatic like I did!
An automatic bum??? Good gracious, whatever next? Automatic gear boxes in cars, I suppose.
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Demo, have you considered that we may be like two old farts in a pair of incontinence pants?!
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By jove, I'm getting my chelonians out all over the place here recently.
Who will be first to say 'put a shell sock in it.'
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Demo, have you considered that we may be like two old farts in a pair of incontinence pants?!
Now that you put it that way, Don_1, it's downright...flatulence flattering!
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By jove, I'm getting my chelonians out all over the place here recently.
Who will be first to say 'put a shell sock in it.'
The shell of turtles is the backbone of their success!
But it's the weekend so maybe I'll hit the tavern and get plastred on Michelonian Lite (beer).
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I know some of this is repetitive, but how the hell else are we gonna make it to page 100?????
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'Tis with great thanks that I reply to you, oh wonderous one.
Armed with this information, I'm sure I will be able to finger any terrorwrist now. I'm sure hel bow to my soupearior nolij and not try to palm me off with any humerous stories.
I shall metataskforce and raid 'is 'ouse. I'm sure I can now shoulder this burden with a little trainning from the Special Boat Service men in Scapula Flow.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.historypublishingco.com%2Fphotos%2Fhunting_am_terr_200.jpg&hash=b25ace5ca6f1fa93ca2a7cb21459a812)
Don_1 handily wins The Chair for his great, great activities in detecting terrorwrists!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.artbible.info%2Flarge%2Fmichelangelo_saulus.jpg&hash=45915d0b046c545c49d8db4ea084b9ce)
A Michelonianangelo_saulus jpeg on the Internet.
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so this is how you neilp level members get so many posts! A mundane way to spend time on a science forum - there must be better! As a nubi, I surely can't hope to compete with other members, or SOS! I risk the wrath of the gods!
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Ah ha! A new subscriber to the punning thread!
We are hapi to have you along for the ride, but please don’t ptah us all with the same brush. We may be seth in our ways and a little long in the thoth, maybe even a little nuts and there are nun so foolish as an old fool, however, but fhor us, the forum might geb a tad tedious. With so much talk of what is nu in science, such as the particles to be found in an atum, well, at enough to drive you bonkers. It is always best to introduce a little levity here and there.
“Huh!” You may say,” you memn on this forum remind me of village idiots, an’ ile nefer titi around with you.”
Well, phar aohnough, but we shall continue to burn effigies of science and all else here on the pyr amid the sanity. Anat is just the way it is.
So take off your hat, hor sit on the ma’at, stroke our dog, he’s a fine looking mut, or nep it in the bud and revert to good sense.
Whether by lux or destiny, you have stumbled in to this madhouse and whether you ment uho tep the balance or not, you did Toot an khamun in to join us. It doesn’t take alot to amuse us, so Ptolemy, Demo and Donnah a few more puns and let yourself go.
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Welcome, bizerl! May Thor protect you from our collective madness!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi241.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fff252%2Feriage%2Fthor.gif&hash=4752d0a2a793c9d7d0664013c2061aeb)
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Good grief, Demo, there we were in Egypt and you have zeused your power to transport us to northern Europe. I thort you might do that.
BTW, I'm not sure any gods can protect anyone from the inmates of this looney bin.
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I can hardly compete with the marvel that is demographic. Novel as it is, it would take six men to weather the storm, and while i'd find going AWOL veri necessary at times, the magnet of scientific discovery gives me resolve stronger than iron! Man was not born to crawl like the spider! Man was made to wonder! Woman too.
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I'm not sure any gods can protect anyone from the inmates of this looney bin.
Don_1, there are rumors that we inmates of this looney bin all fell into poison ivy and started a rash of breakouts.
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...resolve stronger than iron! Man was not born to crawl like the spider! Man was made to wonder! Woman too.
I protest! You left out Batman!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F4c40cf61.jpg&hash=1a51f4740b47fc533b84397dc2e6e48a)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fphoto-13.gif&hash=b125ab1e833ef3f53bd8a5b5b414063d)
Training Clip For *Odyn!
*proud human owner: Donnah
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I already felt funny about including Wonder Woman in a Marvel dominated post - I thought that would be controversial enough. I also thought that the friendly combat managed to create a throb inside my head!
I should be a cryptic crossword writer! ;)
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True, bizerl, and the friendly combat even helped our mobile phone reception!
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I should be a cryptic crossword writer! ;)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F65acb384.jpg&hash=7ce86186e7cd4739a45e207a5557e26b)
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I can hardly compete with the marvel that is demographic. Novel as it is, it would take six men to weather the storm, and while i'd find going AWOL veri necessary at times, the magnet of scientific discovery gives me resolve stronger than iron! Man was not born to crawl like the spider! Man was made to wonder! Woman too.
Well strike me down, what the dickens was all that? You were tolkien about more comic characters than you can shake a speare at there. I think youve rned youself an award for 'best newcomer' there. Demo will doubtless sort one out for you. Shell ey make it a bronze or gold, ing fact, it would not go amis, I'm sure. It wont cost much since he asimof the shelf rather than made to order. He doesn't like to be too austintacious. It may be in the shape of a brontesaurus or T.rex (de foe of afore said dinosaur).
I am sure you will rejoyce at whatever is forthcoming, but please, no larkin about and don't revert to writting trollope afterwards.
Schulz you be unhappy with your award, much to our horo, witz we will display, we will hold you until a ransome is paid to calm our roth, but I warn you, atwood take a great deal of monet***.
***How did he get in here?
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I'm not sure any gods can protect anyone from the inmates of this looney bin.
Don_1, there are rumors that we inmates of this looney bin all fell into poison ivy and started a rash of breakouts.
I went to a French restaurant called 'Le Mariner', where they asked if I wanted poissin. 'How strange', I thought. I declined the offer and said I would have fish instead.
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I should be a cryptic crossword writer! ;)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F65acb384.jpg&hash=7ce86186e7cd4739a45e207a5557e26b)
Do I detect some skulduggery going on here?
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Don_1, there are rumors that we inmates of this looney bin all fell into poison ivy and started a rash of breakouts.
I went to a French restaurant called 'Le Mariner', where they asked if I wanted poissin. 'How strange', I thought. I declined the offer and said I would have fish instead.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnetanimations.net%2Fmoving_animated_scuba_fish_swimming.gif&hash=4cb11295dcbdb28d114a862d810ddb70)
Don_1, I hope you first removed the scuba gear before dining!!
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[bizerl], I think you've earned youself an award for 'best newcomer' there. Demo will doubtless sort one out for you.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theskykid.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F01%2FBest-newcomer-awards-2010.jpg&hash=4828fbbf912ec735f837bdbf654e1601)
Will this one do, Don_1?
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I should be a cryptic crossword writer! ;)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F65acb384.jpg&hash=7ce86186e7cd4739a45e207a5557e26b)
Do I detect some skulduggery going on here?
Haha, no, I actually dig it!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theskykid.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F01%2FBest-newcomer-awards-2010.jpg&hash=4828fbbf912ec735f837bdbf654e1601)
Will this one do, Don_1?
I thought this (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aandc.org%2Fnews%2Fims%2Fnelson_statue.jpg&hash=a0e894893db45e327dfac7a33a70ae78) might be a more admirable selection, but I bow to your (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wizardrecipes.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2Frecipesoriginal%2Fonion%2520soup.jpg&hash=e172927ef865a2f448139cc6cdf80704)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fexplore.rice.edu%2Fimages%2Fexplore%2Fwhoknew%2FEar.jpg&hash=884706e32bd75ee1ff3f1d21bf3f9703)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.hellomagazine.com%2Fimagenes%2Fnews-in-pics%2F2005%2F09%2F14%2F%2Fmcandrewpic.jpg&hash=47c6e06a6ad681ccead673840804170e) experience.
A pictorial pun.
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I hereby Knight You, Don_1, King of Punning Graphics.
Alas, how can I award this award with my "Junior Graphics" now updated status????
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aandc.org%2Fnews%2Fims%2Fnelson_statue.jpg&hash=a0e894893db45e327dfac7a33a70ae78)
I hereby award this BEST NEWCOMER Award to bizerl!!!
This message has been approved by Citizens To Free Don_1, Ltd.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.wikia.com%2Fcamphalfbloodroleplay%2Fimages%2F0%2F08%2FFireworksAnimated.gif&hash=fc6250f33e9da44c755c1d50bc81ee90)
Fireworks is part A of mandatory newcomer hazing ritual...part B is the Punning Chamber, which {{{shudder}}} is <censored> .
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Oooooo! I love fireworks.
h!!!!
h
h
g G
Now what does it say here.... light blue touchpaper and..... No its no good I can't read i AG
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi985.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fae334%2Fsmashingblonde%2Fsmiley_fireworks-1.gif&hash=c22eb69bb962bab7573f4ce6ea8e11d3)
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All this fuss for li’l’ ol’ me? I feel like a cad. “Amy awards clever thinking but Oscar doesn’t care”, my Grammy used to say that but she was baft as a brush (sorry, typo). No, believe me when I say that silence is golden, globeally as well as locally (my spelling IS off today!). Whether an emmynent scientist or student who doesn’t give a fig, noble thoughts can ensue.
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Also, if I lose my job due to low productivity, I'm blaming you! :P
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We are PROUD of our low productivity here.
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All this fuss for li’l’ ol’ me? I feel like a cad. “Amy awards clever thinking but Oscar doesn’t care”, my Grammy used to say that but she was baft as a brush (sorry, typo). No, believe me when I say that silence is golden, globeally as well as locally (my spelling IS off today!). Whether an emmynent scientist or student who doesn’t give a fig, noble thoughts can ensue.
Don_1 and I regret that you didn't win the highly coveted newcomer Galaxy Award, but you did receive a constellation prize.
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Which makes you the star bizerl!!!
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Yes, Donnah ALWAYS speaks the sparkling truth, bizerl.
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What a stellar thought! It's got me pulsaring with excitement. I usually try to stay neutronal on such matters but your radiated praise has singularityly made me go red, dwarfed by such TNS forum royalty.
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Prepare now! Starts tomorrow!
July 27 through July 29, 2012
Garlic Days:
http://www.gilroygarlicfestival.com/
That stinks!: we have to wait one whole day more for the festivities to begin! (see above link).
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And don't forget to join in at the...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F57393a01.jpg&hash=3071c9077427cedbde4c238ce5fe21d9)
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...dwarfed by such TNS forum royalty.
Flattery will get you nowhere everywhere!
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Prepare now! Starts tomorrow!
July 27 through July 29, 2012
Garlic Days:
http://www.gilroygarlicfestival.com/
That stinks!: we have to wait one whole day more for the festivities to begin! (see above link).
I would love to go to this to get some good pictures. I would set the camera to manual, with the aperture open wide and the shutter set to bulb I would use my macro lens to get some good clovesups.
To keep warm, I would set light to a small commercial vehicle and pitch camp next to this van pyre.
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What a stellar thought! It's got me pulsaring with excitement. I usually try to stay neutronal on such matters but your radiated praise has singularityly made me go red, dwarfed by such TNS forum royalty.
It's traditional for you to be mooned now (I know, it's a bummer).
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Prepare now! Starts tomorrow!
July 27 through July 29, 2012
Garlic Days:
http://www.gilroygarlicfestival.com/
That stinks!: we have to wait one whole day more for the festivities to begin! (see above link).
I would love to go to this to get some good pictures. I would set the camera to manual, with the aperture open wide and the shutter set to bulb I would use my macro lens to get some good clovesups.
To keep warm, I would set light to a small commercial vehicle and pitch camp next to this van pyre.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fchristopherranch.files.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F07%2Fallium-award-1.jpg&hash=54f558ac2aaace23afa2c4e55308b10a)
Garlic is stinky, but Don_1's punning performances are not!
-
What a stellar thought! It's got me pulsaring with excitement. I usually try to stay neutronal on such matters but your radiated praise has singularityly made me go red, dwarfed by such TNS forum royalty.
It's traditional for you to be mooned now (I know, it's a bummer).
Is this one ok, Donnah?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FTsQa6.gif&hash=78ef5d1fc2b568e02477230bc48d29bb)
Oh I say!!!
She can moon me any day of week.
Mind you, its a shame the poor lass can't afford a pair of knickers. She'll likely get a chill in her gluteus maximus. I shall offer to keep it warm for her.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-violent081.gif&hash=f1d88203d4e7cb79f46bd29d350dc349) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Now what have I done wrong? I made sure my hands were warm first!
-
......... it's a bummer.
Getting asteroids can be a pain in uranus.
-
What a stellar thought! It's got me pulsaring with excitement. I usually try to stay neutronal on such matters but your radiated praise has singularityly made me go red, dwarfed by such TNS forum royalty.
It's traditional for you to be mooned now (I know, it's a bummer).
Is this one ok, Donnah?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FTsQa6.gif&hash=78ef5d1fc2b568e02477230bc48d29bb)
Oh I say!!!
She can moon me any day of week.
Mind you, its a shame the poor lass can't afford a pair of knickers. She'll likely get a chill in her gluteus maximus. I shall offer to keep it warm for her.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-violent081.gif&hash=f1d88203d4e7cb79f46bd29d350dc349) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Now what have I done wrong? I made sure my hands were warm first!
Mooning is lunacy.
-
......... it's a bummer.
Getting asteroids can be a pain in uranus. edit [not mine]
Yes. Normally, every day they're a pain.
But on Saturdays? no asteroids!
-
It's a bundle of lunacy.
-
I wish to bring your attention to my efforts in the 'Physiology & Medicine' board and the question posed ' Do bras cause breasts to sag?' Find the full thread here (http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=15913.0):-
I refuse to be sucked into this debate.
This question is so old, I should think it has been well and truly milked by now.
What's more, there were only 7 replies (until yours) so it lacked eight.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing021.gif&hash=44605df69e1507c3ed4d235c15c22e92) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Strewth! I made myself laugh with that one. This belongs in the punning thread.
-
......... it's a bummer.
Getting asteroids can be a pain in uranus. edit [not mine]
Yes. Normally, every day they're a pain.
But on Saturdays? no asteroids!
Some people tri tons of creams and other remedies for relief from asteroids until at last they are free from this pain in uranus, which can be a terrible pain in the rhea.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fquantumg.net%2Fasteroid_dig_big1.gif&hash=9b6269042443a11dd85088f824e97897)
The Don_1 Asteroid
For out of this world remarks, The Award Committee approved the naming of this asteroid after Don_1!
Our very own Don_1 is a NASA celebrity now!!
ps - the animation shows a closeup of Don_1's future home inside the asteroid!!
We're all very excited for you!!
-
It's a bundle of lunacy.
Donnah, it's great how you just rise to the occasion with these bun-puns - at yeast we're having some fun with it, and sometimes we knead that!
-
I wish to bring your attention to my efforts in the 'Physiology & Medicine' board and the question posed ' Do bras cause breasts to sag?' Find the full thread here (http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=15913.0):-
I refuse to be sucked into this debate.
This question is so old, I should think it has been well and truly milked by now.
What's more, there were only 7 replies (until yours) so it lacked eight.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing021.gif&hash=44605df69e1507c3ed4d235c15c22e92) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Strewth! I made myself laugh with that one. This belongs in the punning thread.
This is one of the breast puns I've seen!
But although it is quite titillating, let's not implant any boob-type behavior.
Chest stick to the facts like you do!
-
My mammary always told me that this areola could be a bit nippley.
-
And, bizerl, you know that Mammary knows breast!
-
Chest stick to the facts like you do!
I must admit, I was flailing my arms around while bringing this to your attention.
I will try not to chest stickulate in future.
-
Motion is 99% of the law, Don_1.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fquantumg.net%2Fasteroid_dig_big1.gif&hash=9b6269042443a11dd85088f824e97897)
The Don_1 Asteroid
For out of this world remarks, The Award Committee approved the naming of this asteroid after Don_1!
Our very own Don_1 is a NASA celebrity now!!
ps - the animation shows a closeup of Don_1's future home inside the asteroid!!
We're all very excited for you!!
Looks suspiciously like a spud to me.
"a closeup of Don_1's future home inside the asteroid!
Oh my! Can I take an automobile with me and a knife with a squiggley blade so I can cut out crinkley chips as I drive around, I don't want to be in car serrated on this astronomical spud to become half baked?
-
Motion is 99% of the law, Don_1.
What's the other 1%?
-
Hm. Stumped again (motioning wildly to my stats-asst.!)
I admit defeat, Astronaut-Barrister Don_1.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.getseedy.co.uk%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F02%2Fgolden_spud_awards.jpg&hash=523c3bda534f4ceda36855fb85d57ded)
How does Don_1 do this?????
-
Hm. Stumped again.
I admit defeat, Astronaut-Barrister Don_1.
I can hear crickets in demo's audience. No one would bat an eye lid at being bowled over by Don_1 (Bradman?). It seems he's been unable to give him the slip, and he's been caught out. What's the point you ask? Just trying to square this leg of the argument and put some spin on it.
Still not making sense? Well I am feeling a little mid-off today.
-
I can hear crickets in demo's audience.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fannzoid.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Fcrickets.gif&hash=25dd70b2e76481c49534c04d99b0eec5)
-
Still not making sense? Well I am feeling a little mid-off today.
Oh! Come, come. Don't be silly. It seems your punning ability know's no boundary. It is, after all, just what words are four. You composed this work all by yourself, but in doing so have been feeling a little six. You'll soon get over it and be running off more puns. You must try not to burn the candle at both ends. If the wick its in need of trimming, then do so, and by the grace of God, you'll be back on form.
-
Hm. Stumped again (motioning wildly to my stats-asst.!)
I admit defeat, Astronaut-Barrister Don_1.
Defeat stared him in the face, so did de toes and de ankles.
-
Don_1, I think that only a podiatrist can really understand defeat thoroughly.
And people like me with bad footwear truly suffer the agony of defeat.
-
August 1, 2012 is:
World Wide Web Day
A day that links us together.
Let's not build webs to deceive each other.
That could only lead to our URLy demise.
So let's not lose site of the basics!
-
Motion is 99% of the law, Don_1.
What's the other 1%?
e-motion?
-
Motion is 99% of the law, Don_1.
What's the other 1%?
e-motion?
flushing afterwards?
-
Isn't that b-motion? (BM)
-
Don_1, I think that only a podiatrist can really understand defeat thoroughly.
And people like me with bad footwear truly suffer the agony of defeat.
After coming out with all that old cobblers, at last you admit it. You must now feel that your sole has been heeled. Why eye let you carry on for so long I don't know. You must take more sustenance to replace your energy and give you the inner strength to continue to toe the line. Believe me, I have your best health uppermost in my mind.
-
August 1, 2012 is:
World Wide Web Day
A day that links us together.
Let's not build webs to deceive each other.
That could only lead to our URLy demise.
So let's not lose site of the basics!
And the net result of this will be?
-
Motion is 99% of the law, Don_1.
What's the other 1%?
e-motion?
You paint a pretty picture. What medium do you use? E-multion?
-
Motion is 99% of the law, Don_1.
What's the other 1%?
e-motion?
flushing afterwards?
He's very uncouth, you know, he has his motions on the lawn, but at least he hoses it down afterwards. He is responsible for the naming of 'Flushing Meadow'.
-
Don_1, I think that only a podiatrist can really understand defeat thoroughly.
And people like me with bad footwear truly suffer the agony of defeat.
After coming out with all that old cobblers, at last you admit it. You must now feel that your sole has been heeled. Why eye let you carry on for so long I don't know. You must take more sustenance to replace your energy and give you the inner strength to continue to toe the line. Believe me, I have your best health uppermost in my mind.
Shoerly you jest. I always take strength, and I'm not too horny these days. So overall, this is like a walk in the park!
-
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! PUT IT OUT, PUT IT OUT!!!!!!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnetanimations.net%2FMoving-picture-100-dollar-bill-money-to-burn-animated-gif.gif&hash=fa408f9067f234dfbaa3dab97397ee7e)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.myemoticons.com%2Fimages%2Fwork-school%2Fcivil%2Ffireman-1.gif&hash=d597288a00760a97455d92dacfdcb9c7)
-
Don_1, I think that only a podiatrist can really understand defeat thoroughly.
And people like me with bad footwear truly suffer the agony of defeat.
After coming out with all that old cobblers, at last you admit it. You must now feel that your sole has been heeled. Why eye let you carry on for so long I don't know. You must take more sustenance to replace your energy and give you the inner strength to continue to toe the line. Believe me, I have your best health uppermost in my mind.
Shoerly you jest. I always take strength, and I'm not too horny these days. So overall, this is like a walk in the park!
I heard you like to keep in step with the times. An' kle me when you slipp eround for a coffee.
Ooo Owww, now I've got cramp on my knee.
-
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! PUT IT OUT, PUT IT OUT!!!!!!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnetanimations.net%2FMoving-picture-100-dollar-bill-money-to-burn-animated-gif.gif&hash=fa408f9067f234dfbaa3dab97397ee7e)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.myemoticons.com%2Fimages%2Fwork-school%2Fcivil%2Ffireman-1.gif&hash=d597288a00760a97455d92dacfdcb9c7)
I had to EMPOWER your fireman!
-
August 1, 2012 is:
World Wide Web Day
A day that links us together.
Let's not build webs to deceive each other.
That could only lead to our URLy demise.
So let's not lose site of the basics!
And the net result of this will be?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fassets.finda.co.nz%2Fimages%2Fthumb%2Fc%2F0%2Fs%2F4k5c0s%2F602x381%2Fwebtopia-limited.jpg&hash=4680eccfb1c6910b5174e39efec4cc98)
-
Don_1, I think that only a podiatrist can really understand defeat thoroughly.
And people like me with bad footwear truly suffer the agony of defeat.
After coming out with all that old cobblers, at last you admit it. You must now feel that your sole has been heeled. Why eye let you carry on for so long I don't know. You must take more sustenance to replace your energy and give you the inner strength to continue to toe the line. Believe me, I have your best health uppermost in my mind.
Shoerly you jest. I always take strength, and I'm not too horny these days. So overall, this is like a walk in the park!
I heard you like to keep in step with the times. An' kle me when you slipp eround for a coffee.
Ooo Owww, now I've got cramp on my knee.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.24-7pressrelease.com%2Fattachments%2F012%2Fpress_release_distribution_0122911_16678.jpg&hash=7142dba6dd49ed1e8a19c83add205bd9)
Don_1 wins the Senior Footwear Division Competition !!
Multi-faceted Don_1! Extreme Eclecticist Par Excellence!
-
Motion is 99% of the law, Don_1.
What's the other 1%?
E-motion?
You paint a pretty picture. What medium do you use? E-multion?
Whatever picture-medium (or small, or L, or XL) I feel E-ntitled to in the moment I will use.
If it gets to XXL, then E-verything E-lse must go on sale at E-bay!
Is E-verybody on board with this?
-
The other 1% of the law is e-munition. Make my day!
-
E-musing, Donnah!
-
THIS PUNNING THREAD HAS NOW REACHED:
100 pages
Thanks, everyone, for all the fun!
Demo
-
August is:
Happiness Happens Month
http://sohp.com/happiness-month-beginshow-celebrate/
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Faf33eeb2.jpg&hash=2f24e6a78cc79ce2278a82e03ff4c68b)
As a tailor, I had a measure of happiness because I was well suited to my job.
-
Happuness is reaching page 100.
-
Happuness is reaching page 100.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmusingmommies.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F03%2F100.bmp&hash=55ccd0b33f7c45758a375e2c4d383770)
Awww, Donnah, you say it so well!! <wiping tears>
-
I thought [National Psychic Week] had been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. It seems not though, I suppose it was on the cards.
Let's hope nothing gets stolen at the conference, I just hate nasty little tea leaves, don't you?
Last year there were complaints about the lack of air conditioning at the event. Attendees were heard to complain to the organisers. One said "Bloody phew! t' your air con, its too damn hot in here." His side kick echoed him. But there were few chairs left empty when the event started. During the morning break, medium roast coffee was served. One delegate threw his coffee on the ground in disgust. Another delegate asked "What did you do that for? tell me." Another asked for his beverage to be stirred, the waiter said "Go stir it yourself."
At lunch, a delegate with a cleft lip enquired as to the 'sooth oph the day'. He remarked it was a shame in this day and age that you cannot always tell witch flavour your food is. "Warlocks", Said the chef, who also had a hair lip. Wine was served with the main course. A dinner remarked on the plastic vessel the wine was served in, saying, "I would have expected, considering the price we have paid, the wine to be served in crystal." "Balls! said a rude waiter, "As trolls, oh gee you don't deserve crystal."
Many stars attended the conference. To their horror, scope of the conference was limited due to time constraints.
A satelite event was held just down the road in the 7th house on the left, but there seemed to be little spirit there, despite the main event being relayed to a plasma screen.
Organiser, Sue F Sayer said she can't remember how she coped with the organisation pre dictaphones, let alone laptops.
Belated congrats!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F-ubQP3UXKrqY%2FTd04dBgxEJI%2FAAAAAAAAADY%2FfpHhRAKRU4E%2Fs180%2FWWW%252BAward.gif&hash=73fd32645f7022e6bb6cb330ea77fbc6)
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100 is the Pagan witch we are on.
Is IQ the opposite of QI?
-
Dunno, Donnah, I raised my intelligence using my cranium.
-
Yours must be sky high!
-
Yes, Donnah, my head is usually in the clouds!
-
Do you have fog-brain then?
-
Do you have fog-brain then?
Yes, and I do a lot of brain storming.
-
Yes, Donnah, my head is usually in the clouds!
Come on demo, be cirrus! This thread has just become a cumulous of garbage since it turned a hundred, precipitating in anyone with a quick-witted and nimbis mind to storm out!
-
Yes, Donnah, my head is usually in the clouds!
Come on demo, be cirrus! This thread has just become a cumulous of garbage since it turned a hundred, precipitating in anyone with a quick-witted and nimbis mind to storm out!
Must you always drag along a nimbus to all those nice parades you attend?
Unlike you, I prefer a contributory attitude, you know, I look for the silver lining! Yes, there's beauty everywhere. Even in some of your writhing writings!
But alas I think you just prefer the stratus quo.
-
Who is raining on whose parade?
-
Who is raining on whose parade?
Nothing cirrus, Donnah
-
I'm never cirrus, always walking around with my head in the clouds. Does that mean I have a high IQ?
How do we know that the people creating IQ tests are smart?
-
I'm never cirrus, always walking around with my head in the clouds. Does that mean I have a high IQ?
Your lofty ideals are all I care about.
How do we know that the people creating IQ tests are smart?
Or culturally biased? Someone from an entirely different culture could score poorly for that reason alone.
-
there once was a woman from mensa
whose test didn't make sense
so the kids tore it up
and left in a huff
saying "no more of this now and hence"
-
there once was a woman from mensa
whose test didn't make sense
so the kids tore it up
and left in a huff
saying "no more of this now and hence"
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.welldog.com%2Fimages%2Fuploads%2Flogo%2Fiq_awards.jpg&hash=8df7287c9238678edced82d132ec58f5)
Donnah wins!!
-
Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher. A
few years ago, there was a Mensa convention in San Francisco, and
several members lunched at a local cafe.
While dining, they discovered that their saltshaker contained pepper
and their pepper shaker was full of salt. How could they swap the
contents of the bottles without spilling, and using only the
implements at hand? Clearly this was a job for Mensa!
The group debated and presented ideas, and finally came up with a
brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer.
They called the waitress over to dazzle her with their solution.
"Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper
shaker contains salt and the salt shaker..."
"Oh," the waitress interrupted. "Sorry about that." She unscrewed the
caps of both bottles and switched them.
-
The waitress's solution was so simple, was her name Simone?
-
Yes.
Her married name is Sez.
Her little boy truly cares for Mom Sez!
Mrs. Sez is far more important and respected by her son than his loving but very laid back Dad, Simon.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fchzmemebase.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F02%2Finternet-memes-simon-says.jpg&hash=0831cda187728e2752d16efc5e7648d7)
-
Sez who?
-
What is the favorite game on Navy ships? Seaman Says.
-
What is the favorite game on Navy ships?
I don't know, but does the looser have to clean the poop deck?
-
Who over seas this?
-
Who over seas this?
Tele. No, not Tele Savalas, Tele Scope.
-
I sea.
-
Her married name is Sez.
Her little boy truly cares for Mom Sez!
Mrs. Sez is far more important and respected by her son than his loving but very laid back Dad, Simon.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fchzmemebase.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F02%2Finternet-memes-simon-says.jpg&hash=0831cda187728e2752d16efc5e7648d7)
Sez who?
I'm betting on the Mrs.
-
I sea.
Icy
-
Dicey
-
September, 2012 is:
Happy Cat Month
It's about time Odyn benefitted from our shenanigans!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.webweaver.nu%2Fclipart%2Fimg%2Fnature%2Fcats%2Fhappy-cat.gif&hash=ea7224694ccae48b77b00780aa10e18d)
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Purrfect.
Yes folks, I'm back.
I'm also side and front. Quite a lot of front actually. (*SIGH*)
-
Purrfect.
Yes folks, I'm back.
I'm also side and front. Quite a lot of front actually. (*SIGH*)
I understand, Don. When I stand in front of all my fans, I'm blown away!
-
Did your fans get wind of your impending arrival?
Look, here is a sigh:-
***SIGH***
And now, I shall reproduce an identical sigh:-
***SIGH***
Now you know what a sighclone looks like.
-
In the making of the above post, I had the assistance of Kane my Spanish aid, or as they say in Espania, 'aido'. unfortunately, in the making of said post, Enrico split his trousers (US = pants).
He is now known as 'Kane the torn aido'.
I told him no good would come of rushing to get the job done, 'Slow down', I said, 'there's no need to hurry Kane'.
-
If you slow down and don't Hurry Kane, I will be able to introduce ....Sigh.... to ....Nora.... before you say goodbye! SIGH-A-NORA....May you always be together when others have departed....Sighanora
-
November is nearly upon us. Or rather, I should say 'Movember'.
Yes folks, this one is really for the boys, though I suppose there are the odd few females of the species who might join in.
ITS MOUSTACHE MONTH (http://uk.movember.com/about)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.emofaces.com%2Fen%2Femoticons%2Fm%2Fmustache-emoticon.gif&hash=bc6b6bafecbaedd6f5806b08fb09c23f)
-
ITS MOUSTACHE MONTH (http://uk.movember.com/about)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.emofaces.com%2Fen%2Femoticons%2Fm%2Fmustache-emoticon.gif&hash=bc6b6bafecbaedd6f5806b08fb09c23f)
A handlebar moustache may look ridiculous, but symmetrical eyelashes are even cilia.
-
I Donnah why but I’ve been researching the Demografx of the Punning thread and have decided that there comes a time when one has to Don_1’s community service hat and pay tribute to the contributers of the most popular thread that doesn’t have “orgasm” in its subject. Yor_on thin ice putting so much effort into a chat thread on a science forum, but it’s not all about biology and Chemistry. 4 Me it’s more about broadening horizon’s, Karen While sharin’ and not being Bored. Chemistry is just a bonus. We also have to Make it Lady friendly and not Grizel dangerously. Whether you neil epiphanously before the vast barren wasteland, throwing peppercorns at Hadrian’s wall, or whether you’re just a plain old Geezer like any Jim, Bob or Sean, Beware! I’m at faalt, I know, for not considering the Variol age of everyone here, but give me some LeeEway. It’s haRD being a constant breath of fresh air, thumbs up all the time. I don’t know how dave managed it. Or how that John Chap managed it either. All I know is that that dam oc lesbian kissing scene from quite a few years ago left much to be desired. Why did you have to, in a rage, od river phoenix?!? Now I’m just ranting, I know. But as it says in my bio, “wizard hats are nobodies biz” er, later guys.
Turns out you don’t have to have lots of posts to be a “too much free time level member”
-
Amazing how you were not to bizerl ly occupied to use all of our names so well considering how imfamous some of us are!
-
So, its name 'em and shame 'em, is it?
..... how imfamous some of us are!
Infamy, infamy, they've all got it in for me!
-
"Intifada! Intifada!"
Don_1
ca. 2011-2012
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I Donnah why but I’ve been researching the Demografx of the Punning thread and have decided that there comes a time when one has to Don_1’s community service hat and pay tribute to the contributers of the most popular thread that doesn’t have “orgasm” in its subject. Yor_on thin ice putting so much effort into a chat thread on a science forum, but it’s not all about biology and Chemistry. 4 Me it’s more about broadening horizon’s, Karen While sharin’ and not being Bored. Chemistry is just a bonus. We also have to Make it Lady friendly and not Grizel dangerously. Whether you neil epiphanously before the vast barren wasteland, throwing peppercorns at Hadrian’s wall, or whether you’re just a plain old Geezer like any Jim, Bob or Sean, Beware! I’m at faalt, I know, for not considering the Variol age of everyone here, but give me some LeeEway. It’s haRD being a constant breath of fresh air, thumbs up all the time. I don’t know how dave managed it. Or how that John Chap managed it either. All I know is that that dam oc lesbian kissing scene from quite a few years ago left much to be desired. Why did you have to, in a rage, od river phoenix?!? Now I’m just ranting, I know. But as it says in my bio, “wizard hats are nobodies biz” er, later guys.
Turns out you don’t have to have lots of posts to be a “too much free time level member”
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmorningandotherstories.files.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F12%2Fmr-clever.gif%3Fw%3D400%26amp%3Bh%3D368&hash=c5b616c343745c44f99c3b7305c2e3e9)AND(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdi1.shopping.com%2Fimages%2Fpi%2F6b%2Fbc%2F6c%2F2000894908-200x200-0-0.jpg%3Fp%3Dp5.9aeaec6dcb7d6aad5bac%26amp%3Ba%3D2%26amp%3Bc%3D1%26amp%3Bl%3D8055916%26amp%3Bt%3D101027232033%26amp%3Br%3D3&hash=7a7c4da8728c32da28b6dec1fec3c51a)
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Amazing how you were not too bizerl ly occupied to use all of our names so well considering how imfamous some of us are!
Too much free time!
EXHIBIT A
Turns out you don’t have to have lots of posts [say, around 100?] to be a “too much free time level member”
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In the making of the above post, I had the assistance of Kane my Spanish aid, or as they say in Espania, 'aido'. unfortunately, in the making of said post,
Enrico split his trousers (US = pants).
He is now known as 'Kane the torn aido'.
I told him no good would come of rushing to get the job done, 'Slow down', I said, 'there's no need to hurry Kane'.
Perhaps Enrico twistered his trousers (US = pants)?
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.diffusiononline.co.uk%2Fimages%2Fproducts%2Fzoom%2F1332240438-12169300.jpg&hash=698405c6b863d991ea5ad91f8f120dc3)
Enrico's significant other.
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Would her name be slack Alice?
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She's not a slacker in my book!
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She's using the power of chi, no sweat!
I would have thought her name was Jean(s).
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I would have thought her name was Jean(s).
My tailor, a very nice guy, sews zippers on jeans.
He wouldn't hurt a fly.
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What is the plural of 'jeans'?
I have a pair of jeans.....
I have two pairs of jeanses......
or
I have a pair of jean.....
I have two pair of jeans......
Why do I have a 'pair' of jeans, yet I do not have a 'pair' of shirts???
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Why do I...not have a 'pair' of shirts???
I can lend you a couple shirts if you need 'em[;D]
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I have a pair of scissors. I took it apart and now I have a pair of knives.
I also have a pair of tweezers. Which is very important. Have you ever tried plucking a nostril hair with one tweezer?
if I was demografx i'd find a humorous picture of someone digging a piece of metal into their nose to insert here, but I'm not so I won't.
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if I was [were] demografx i'd find a humorous picture of someone digging a piece of metal into their nose to insert here, but I'm not so I won't.
Someone called?...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs1.hubimg.com%2Fu%2F614348_f520.jpg&hash=7e4deaa68570f84a9568f038844f4e5b)
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After plucking the forest from his snout, he made a loud high pitch scream, it was a nose trill.
Perhaps he should do his chin next!
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Come come folks, tell me, why should it be a 'pair' of trousers or a 'pair' of pants?
We don't have a pair of shirts or vests. Indeed, a vest is also known as a singlet.
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We need a new thread here. Should it be in general science, mathematics or clap trap?
The question is 'What constitutes a pair?'
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The question is 'What constitutes a pair?'
1. <blush>
2. <giggle>
3. <tee hee>
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Come come folks, tell me, why should it be a 'pair' of trousers or a 'pair' of pants?
We don't have a pair of shirts or vests. Indeed, a vest is also known as a singlet.
Hmm. It appears to me that you seem to have a vested interest in the answer.
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After plucking the forest from his snout, he made a loud high pitch scream, it was a nose trill.
Nostrildamus predicted that would happen!
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After plucking the forest from his snout, he made a loud high pitch scream, it was a nose trill.
Oh no! Are we going back to the Nose Moking sign in the lavatory again? (See archives)
http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=31700.2025
Perhaps he should do his chin next!
Ouch! That's a chin chillah!
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You wouldn't catch Odyn plucking his whiskers. BTW, his nickname is Odie Doo, or Doo, so we call him Cat man Doo.
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I nominate Donnah Poster Of The Month!
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I'm no poster girl!!!! er...ah...oh, you mean poster the verb, not poster the noun...well in that case, thank you!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F_GbdBrEceVG4%2FTRyX1AoTbSI%2FAAAAAAAABrg%2FU9RcaLkzm1w%2Fs1600%2FDOYLE-obit-popup.jpg&hash=5fd7235d88f4c38f5ea09daef5dc26a6)
Thanks, Donnah! Our poster girl needs to be updated!
Maybe to Rosie The Riveter??
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My kind of woman! (One with biceps.) No princesses allowed in my girl's club.
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If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?
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Gasp!!! :0
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I seem to be at my wits' end.
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If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?
No. You're the real thing.
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I seem to be at my wits' end.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia-cdn.tripadvisor.com%2Fmedia%2Fphoto-s%2F01%2Fc2%2F9e%2Fd3%2Fwits-end-b-b-roundstone.jpg&hash=013f14f97cf17002e1b2f994ab2411e5)
Enjoy your stay, Donnah!
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I wonder how they came up with that name for their B&B?
I'm going to postulate that they were in financial trouble, needed some income and were at their wit's end when they got the idea to have a B&B.
Anybody else want to make up a story about it?
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Donnah, the B&B started out as a...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2C1710E6-FF66-4A75-AC92-752F7B9820F8-439-00000059435BD88C.jpg&hash=edbae5837ee3cddce8059a294332da82).................
But they ran out of barley and hops, so they re-decorated and opened a B&B!
Instead of brewed coffee in the room each morning, there's a nice cold draft waiting for you in the B & B fridge !!
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But don't drink too much, or you might find yourself coming to the end of your world........
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theworldsend.co.uk%2Fimages%2Ffront.jpg&hash=a74e4bcdc57dd87610953e02601c6215)
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If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?
If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?
If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?
If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?
Does this make me a four poster?
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Don_1 de Mark of four poster.
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Donnah, the B&B started out as a...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2C1710E6-FF66-4A75-AC92-752F7B9820F8-439-00000059435BD88C.jpg&hash=edbae5837ee3cddce8059a294332da82).................
But they ran out of barley and hops, so they re-decorated and opened a B&B!
Instead of brewed coffee in the room each morning, there's a nice cold draft waiting for you in the B & B fridge !!
So that's wit's brewing!
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But don't drink too much, or you might find yourself coming to the end of your world........
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theworldsend.co.uk%2Fimages%2Ffront.jpg&hash=a74e4bcdc57dd87610953e02601c6215)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthecosmiccauldron.net.au%2FEarth_on_Fire_Animated.gif&hash=f8e568c6b9645080ab84cb74113692be)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fjeffpelline.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Fmrbill1.jpg&hash=eb3872a45498b1ba6bd079b1acf5d04f)
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So that's wit's brewing!
Yes! As you may have heard on the news, when some underwear fell in the vat at the beer-makers, a scandal was brewing!
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If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?
If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?
If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?
If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?
Does this make me a four poster?
When I sleep surrounded by a four poster bed, I cannot py!
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If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?
If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?
If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?
If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?
Does this make me a four poster?
When I sleep surrounded by a four poster bed, I cannot py!
Demo, I'm not sure what your intent is. You should check bivore u accost me with such swaggeringly incoherent words such as "py". A stretchier use of the inglish language, I have not scene!
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Demo, I'm not sure what your intent is...with such... incoherent words such as "py".
Why must I suffer de feet at de hands of bizerl?
Is there no respite? No shelter??
But he's talented. I wonder if he plays the pyano?
I bet he thinks he's a gynius.
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Perhaps sleep will come when you REMove the light by drawing the curtains. Or you could take a pill oh.
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But don't drink too much, or you might find yourself coming to the end of your world........
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theworldsend.co.uk%2Fimages%2Ffront.jpg&hash=a74e4bcdc57dd87610953e02601c6215)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthecosmiccauldron.net.au%2FEarth_on_Fire_Animated.gif&hash=f8e568c6b9645080ab84cb74113692be)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fjeffpelline.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Fmrbill1.jpg&hash=eb3872a45498b1ba6bd079b1acf5d04f)
Are you suggesting that we should Treadwell in life?
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Perhaps sleep will come when you REMove the light by drawing the curtains. Or you could take a pill oh.
Every waking moment, I dream of the day when a pill oh some kind of medication will bring deep sleep relief.
Otherwise it's curtains for me.
But I refuse to REModel my life just to snore more.
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You could try reciting the alpha beta in your mind.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)
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It worked! Just like counting sheep!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)
Looks like you've had quite an AB work-out! What did you use? The ABGamma-niser?
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Looks like you've had quite an AB work-out! What did you use? The ABGamma-niser?
Life in the delta doesn't include fancy equipment like that.
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Don_1 de Mark of four poster.
How romantic! As is the florist who likes two-lips.
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Not so romantic is the florist who likes croc arse!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.adrbulbs.com%2F_ccLib%2Fimage%2Fplants%2FFRNT-592.jpg&hash=44960261368c9a0a2b0cd45cdf00140c)
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A florist asked me, "what's your favourite (US = favorite) flower?"
I replied, "Self raising."
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On seeing a hedgehog, a fox said to his mate, "Look at that, a meal with built in tooth picks."
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Not so romantic is the florist who likes croc arse!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.adrbulbs.com%2F_ccLib%2Fimage%2Fplants%2FFRNT-592.jpg&hash=44960261368c9a0a2b0cd45cdf00140c)
I'm amazed that something so pretty has a name like that!
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On seeing a hedgehog, a fox said to his mate, "Look at that, a meal with built in tooth picks."
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F24.media.tumblr.com%2Ftumblr_kyq2yz5HNM1qb5udjo1_400.jpg&hash=0aaad545e1143047e9f07354d7c3c9a5)
I had to look it up to see what you meant.
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An angler picked up his rod and went to the toilet saying "I'm going for a carp."
I'm not sure if he was a lousy fisherman or dyslexic.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.worldoflongmire.com%2Ffeatures%2Fjunkmail%2Ftoiletfish.JPG&hash=2a5de93b4d00a363e2c1cb7e39ba66f1)
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An angler picked up his rod and went to the toilet saying "I'm going for a carp."
I'm not sure if he was a lousy fisherman or dyslexic.
Two anglers were having a discussion and opened quite a can of worms.
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A florist asked me, "what's your favourite (US = favorite) flower?"
I replied, "Self raising."
You left out
(China = 喜愛)
We Never Know If They Are Peeking* At Our Punning!
*now Beijing
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We Never Know If They Are Peeking*
Peeking DUCK!!! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.picgifs.com%2Fsmileys%2Fsmileys-and-emoticons%2Fplane%2Fsmileys-plane-213619.gif&hash=1c3f9b392704f7ed33e286406b5c9fc4)
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You left out
(China = 喜愛)
I never leave them out, after all, I have shy knees.
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An angler picked up his rod and went to the toilet saying "I'm going for a carp."
I'm not sure if he was a lousy fisherman or dyslexic.
Two anglers were having a discussion and opened quite a can of worms.
Ha ha..... see, I knew you would take the bait.
Yes sirreee bob, ya fell fer it hook, line & sinker.
You can only blame yourself for creating a rod for your back. The net result of this will be, you will have to visit your local sturgeon.
Still, so long as he doesn't have a silly name like Mit Romney or Newt Gingrich.
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So long folks.....
( que music, Rossini's 'William Tell Overture')
Who was that man???
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thelonearrangers.com%2Fimages%2Fsmilies%2Flone_ranger.gif&hash=8d2412a04becc4d10dc39404bf4197ec)
Just some brainless moron.
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We Never Know If They Are Peeking*
Peeking DUCK!!! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.picgifs.com%2Fsmileys%2Fsmileys-and-emoticons%2Fplane%2Fsmileys-plane-213619.gif&hash=1c3f9b392704f7ed33e286406b5c9fc4)
Duck everyone! Run for cover! Pilot-Don_1 is out with his plane!!
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An angler picked up his rod and went to the toilet saying "I'm going for a carp."
I'm not sure if he was a lousy fisherman or dyslexic.
Two anglers were having a discussion and opened quite a can of worms.
Ha ha..... see, I knew you would take the bait.
Yes sirreee bob, ya fell fer it hook, line & sinker.
You can only blame yourself for creating a rod for your back. The net result of this will be, you will have to visit your local sturgeon.
Still, so long as he doesn't have a silly name like Mit Romney or Newt Gingrich.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F_sVICMuQY3aQ%2FTHB7G5mn55I%2FAAAAAAAABeA%2FAOtW3ppQFxo%2Fs1600%2Fgortontrophy.jpg&hash=0ceea861f7e5cf24802171670bae646f)
For Don...oh, wait...they left out the "D"!!!
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An angler picked up his rod and went to the toilet saying "I'm going for a carp."
I'm not sure if he was a lousy fisherman or dyslexic.
Two anglers were having a discussion and opened quite a can of worms.
Ha ha..... see, I knew you would take the bait.
Yes sirreee bob, ya fell fer it hook, line & sinker.
You can only blame yourself for creating a rod for your back. The net result of this will be, you will have to visit your local sturgeon.
Still, so long as he doesn't have a silly name like Mit Romney or Newt Gingrich.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F_sVICMuQY3aQ%2FTHB7G5mn55I%2FAAAAAAAABeA%2FAOtW3ppQFxo%2Fs1600%2Fgortontrophy.jpg&hash=0ceea861f7e5cf24802171670bae646f)
For Don...oh, wait...they left out the "D"!!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fus.123rf.com%2F400wm%2F400%2F400%2Fchudtsankov%2Fchudtsankov1004%2Fchudtsankov100400811%2F6905719-funny-cartoons-alphabet-detective-with-letters-d.jpg&hash=40ff1f98e2d6e7b78936f6156f82f516)
There ya go Don.
Ooh! I feel like Demografx now!
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Yes! bizerl feels the POWER now! [:)]
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I'm watching the fish from my perch.
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I'm watching the fish from my perch.
Must be a parrotfish then.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fus.123rf.com%2F400wm%2F400%2F400%2Fchudtsankov%2Fchudtsankov1004%2Fchudtsankov100400811%2F6905719-funny-cartoons-alphabet-detective-with-letters-d.jpg&hash=40ff1f98e2d6e7b78936f6156f82f516)
There ya go Don.
Ooh! I feel like Demografx now!
Could I have the hat to go with it please?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-basic%2Fdunce.gif&hash=525de6170c79cc83fa09cd877f378397) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
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I'm watching the fish from my perch.
Must be a parrotfish then.
No, I think its definately a pearch.
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I'm watching the fish from my perch.
Must be a parrotfish then.
No, I think its definately a pearch.
And now for the French version:-
Non, Monsewer. Cest definatamond un Pearsch.
La Fin
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I get the feeling there's something fishy going on here.
Please no pictures of a cat with an aqualung, entitled 'Catfish' or it will be a slap with a wet kipper for you.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fl.nmimg.net%2Fch%2Fsmilies%2Ffighting59.gif&hash=af7b426a1e9a05e30cfc4c4c867cc0ff)
Is a wet kipper someone who falls asleep in the bath?
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I'm watching the fish from my perch.
A pet store had a bird contest with no perches necessary.
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Water you saying? I don't speak fish.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm1.static.flickr.com%2F113%2F303487434_246dd7dac0.jpg&hash=86bb61f36df646ce7707deca00661c25)
It's never too late to learn, Donnah!
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White fish speak with fishfork tongue.
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I'm watching the fish from my perch.
A pet store had a bird contest with no perches necessary.
Is there a porpoise for you mentioning this? We were having a whale of a time with puns of a marine nature.
Anyone for fish & chips? Or would you prefer your potatoes dolphinoise?
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You're right, Don_1, my behavior above was indeed fishy. Just don't throw me the bird. Please!
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Alright, I'll let you off this time, but any more deviation and I'll have you up before the beak.
Oops, I've done it myself. The scales of justice beckon. I may have to pay a fine.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fth216.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc220%2Fdiezelpower%2Fth_judge.gif&hash=1d017e96510abafbfbd604b44ad8c222) "Is this the first time you've been up before me?"
I don't know m'lud, what time do you usually get up?
-
I'm usually day-lighted to get up.
-
I'm usually green-lighted to make the bed.
-
Green is the colour of envy.
Envy ran off to Gretna Green to get married............. Envy lope.
The priest said, "Letters pray."
-
Letters pray indeed! What a post!
-
Letters pray indeed!
1. If we canteloupe lettuce marry!
2. Ever tried honeymoon salad? It's lettuce alone.
-
December, 2012 is:
Awareness Month of Awareness Months Month
Were YOU caught unawares?
-
Were YOU caught unawares?
I have occasionally been caught in my underwear.
-
Are you aware that July is national eye injury prevention month?
So this month, be aware that you can poke yourself in the eye with a sharp stick without fear of recrimination.
-
Thank you, Don_1, EYE now consider myself fully informed.
By the way, have you seen the EYEfel Tower?
-
Were YOU caught unawares?
I have occasionally been caught in my underwear.
1000 pairs of underwear were stolen, police were making a brief enquiry.
-
Alright, I'll let you off this time, but any more deviation and I'll have you up before the beak.
Oops, I've done it myself. The scales of justice beckon. I may have to pay a fine.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fth216.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc220%2Fdiezelpower%2Fth_judge.gif&hash=1d017e96510abafbfbd604b44ad8c222) "Is this the first time you've been up before me?"
I don't know m'lud, what time do you usually get up?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gifs.net%2FAnimation11%2FJobs_and_People%2FJustice_System%2FScale_4.gif&hash=773840afd375facbfefeab43f519905a)
The Award Scales are tipped in Don_1's favor!
-
Thank you, Don_1, EYE now consider myself fully informed.
By the way, have you seen the EYEfel Tower?
Yes, I've seen it, I even went up it, though I was still a tad nervous in case Ifell off it.
-
Alright, I'll let you off this time, but any more deviation and I'll have you up before the beak.
Oops, I've done it myself. The scales of justice beckon. I may have to pay a fine.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fth216.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc220%2Fdiezelpower%2Fth_judge.gif&hash=1d017e96510abafbfbd604b44ad8c222) "Is this the first time you've been up before me?"
I don't know m'lud, what time do you usually get up?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gifs.net%2FAnimation11%2FJobs_and_People%2FJustice_System%2FScale_4.gif&hash=773840afd375facbfefeab43f519905a)
The Award Scales are tipped in Don_1's favor!
You seem to be making some very balanced posts, these days.
-
Are you leveling with me?
-
Are you leveling with me?
In a laser fair sort of way he is.
-
Don't worry, he'll reply within 6 - 8 weeks. No longer, usually. Zzzzzzzzzzzz.
-
(Air mail costs more).
-
Don't worry, he'll reply within 6 - 8 weeks. No longer, usually. Zzzzzzzzzzzz.
WAKE UP!!!!
What's the big idea? Sleeping on the job!
Are you leveling with me?
I scaled many a mountain, ford many a stream and pound many roads to come up with that pun. I knew I had to find one quick or kilover in the attempt. I met Rick on my travels, who helped me find it. "Weight", he said as a beam crossed his face, "I'll come with you." Later, we met Graham on the road, who also came along, for good measure.
-
I scaled many a mountain, ford many a stream and pound many roads to come up with that pun. I knew I had to find one quick or kilover in the attempt. I met Rick on my travels, who helped me find it. "Weight", he said as a beam crossed his face, "I'll come with you." Later, we met Graham on the road, who also came along, for good measure.
Oh my, this is a New tone for you, Don. At first I thought it a ficKel vintage of punning but you surPas calibre of any sort with Watt you write!
-
Don't worry, he'll reply within 6 - 8 weeks. No longer, usually. Zzzzzzzzzzzz.
WAKE UP!!!!
What's the big idea? Sleeping on the job!
NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID, DON_1.
YOU STARTLED ODYN!!
Have you no shame?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.our-happy-cat.com%2Fimage-files%2F54183697andreas-dsmall.jpg&hash=9dcda17f992aa64b065a1d2fe9dccfdb)
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Yikes!!! Sorry Odin.
Perhaps I should sing to him to calm him down.
I'll try this old Irish ode in G major and dress up as a Viking.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cool-smileys.com%2Fimages%2F2085.gif&hash=82e8154bfb2ab4b1b86204600a8124c9) (http://www.cool-smileys.com/singing-shouting-smiley) (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2F1%2F13%2FG-major_e-minor.svg%2F120px-G-major_e-minor.svg.png&hash=7eefb825365bb2f7f552c6bb8ae7eb3b) Ode inny boy, the pipes the pipes are calling.....
-
Maybe I should try something by Cat Stevens.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWT2qHVftGk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWT2qHVftGk)
Oops, that's put the cat among the pigeons.
-
Yikes!!! Sorry Odin.
Perhaps I should sing to him to calm him down.
I'll try this old Irish ode in G major and dress up as a Viking.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cool-smileys.com%2Fimages%2F2085.gif&hash=82e8154bfb2ab4b1b86204600a8124c9) (http://www.cool-smileys.com/singing-shouting-smiley) (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2F1%2F13%2FG-major_e-minor.svg%2F120px-G-major_e-minor.svg.png&hash=7eefb825365bb2f7f552c6bb8ae7eb3b) Ode inny boy, the pipes the pipes are calling.....
VERY IMPRESSIVE MUSICAL POST! Signatures and all!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fuserserve-ak.last.fm%2Fserve%2F_%2F82854215%2FNRJ%2BMusic%2BAwards%2B2012.png&hash=8f4bb145babd42c58ba20c88bd02af76)
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Maybe I should try something by Cat Stevens.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWT2qHVftGk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWT2qHVftGk)
Oops, that's put the cat among the pigeons.
"I love my...........dog"???????
Odyn will NOT be thrilled, I guarantee that!
-
Can YOU guess what upcoming day of observance is:
*****December 25, 2012*****?
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Wrong!
It is...
•
•
•
•
•
•
*****A'Phabet Day or No "L" Day*****
.....And when the last day of March is over, I will have yet more (har har) foolishness...er, I mean EVEN BETTER APRIL CLEVERNESS TO FOOL OFFER YOU!
-
Tried to trick me eh! I know I can 'L' as much as I want throughout the day, its just the first no 'L'.
-
Imagine the confusion if there were no 'L's for the entire day!!!
The 'Messiah' by Georg Friedrich Hände woud be in bother when it comes to the 'Haeujah' chorus.
-
I disagree, Don_1. I see it as a day when osses like me gain dignity.
With no atitude or ongitude tuit.
How can anyone hate an oser?
An ikely scenario! Patton, too!
-
Tried to trick me eh! I know I can 'L' as much as I want throughout the day, its just the first no 'L'.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.davidburt.co.uk%2Fyesterday%2Fimages%2Flaughinghyena.gif&hash=60dfd74d8d12ef9d18b57037810c82e7)
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I know I can 'L' as much as I want throughout the day...
Don't forget how embarrassed you were last year - same no-L day behavior - when you finally found out there was a video of that entire day. (Sorry to hear it went viral, CNN, BBC, etc.!)
I will still vote for you as King of UK, with annual tithing you lovingly offered me (under your most empathetic, and gentle, suggestion of "happy waterboarding, demo!").
But money trumps all: you will have your final blackmail payment on December 24, 2012. I understand that Sonny "Santa" Goombah ('The Enforcer') will warmly collect funds ("or ese"... if it falls on No "L" Day).
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Demo, aren't you forgetting that the word (the first no-L, the angels did say) is supposed to end on the 21st?
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Uh oh, Donnah!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs.evemarket.info%2Fimages%2Fgnome%2F256x256%2Femotes%2Fface-embarrassed.png&hash=0052f75b5b359ce60df5933095ff6ba1)
I bet I get a demotion over this [:)]
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Last year, I ate so much over the holidays that I decided to quit cold turkey.
-
When someone suggested I quit cold turkey, I told them to get stuffed.
-
I tried to quit cold turkey, but I was too chicken.
-
The chicken went to the middle of the road.
She was going to lay it on the line.
-
I knew a chicken that liked sitting on people's shoulders. The UN took it to peace talks to demonstrate to warring nations how to lay down their arms.
-
With our Granddaughter being the focus of attention for Xmas, it was decided that we would only buy each other one Xmas present. I've bought the wife a shoe. She'll get the other one next year.
-
I fancy a goose for Xmas this year, but looks like I'll have to make do with the wife as usual.
-
It seems our daughter is up the duff again. So I shall tell our son-in-law he is to have parsnips.
-
I fancy a goose for Xmas this year, but looks like I'll have to make do with the wife as usual.
Don_1 was entering an antique shop: “Good evening. Do you mind if I take a gander around the shop?” to which the shopkeeper replies, “No, as long as it’s housetrained.”
-
I've bought the wife a shoe. She'll get the other one next year.
One of those new shoes isn't right.
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I knew a chicken that liked sitting on people's shoulders.
The UN took it to peace talks to demonstrate to warring nations how to lay down their arms.
The UN also demonstrates that trench warfare should always be seen as a last ditch effort.
-
When someone suggested I quit cold turkey, I told them to get stuffed.
But if you tell a soldier to get stuffed with ice cream he'd be a desserter.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgraphics.comments.funmunch.com%2Fholidays%2Fchristmas%2Fchristmas_comment_graphic_02.gif&hash=4dc6f49b3d3ea3c445c92f9c9475715e)
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I've bought the wife a shoe. She'll get the other one next year.
One of those new shoes isn't right.
That's because he left it until next year.
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I've bought the wife a shoe. She'll get the other one next year.
One of those new shoes isn't right.
That's because he left it until next year.
As usual, Donnah is...right! [:)]
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.animationplayhouse.com%2Fblueshoe.gif&hash=10fafa9ef53f09054e145e023b742c3d)
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Demo, please tell that to my husband. Whenever I say something, all he hears is "blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah".
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Hmmm...that's what EYE usually hear when my.......ohnevermind [:)]
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It seems our daughter is up the duff again. So I shall tell our son-in-law he is to have parsnips.
Did you mean your son-in-law is to meet with Father Manny Cohen?????
Father Manny Cohen is the priest/rabbi of a bi-religious church/synagogue. He performs confessions, christenings, bar mitzvahs and circumcisions. He is affectionately known as Par Snips.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcalconews.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F12%2Fnew%2Byear%2Banimated%2Bgif.gif&hash=44d6fdbd71f911b37eb320d740c4635a)
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China's satellite will go into orbit on January 1st causing a New Year's revolution.
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May the thingamajig of whatsisname be among you, behind you, in front of you and....... Oi!!! Get out of there.
'Tis the begining of a new year...... or is it???????????
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China's satellite will go into orbit on January 1st causing a New Year's revolution.
That should be a turn up for the books.
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China's satellite will go into orbit on January 1st causing a New Year's revolution.
What happened then? Did they manage it, or bit off more than they could Jimmy chew?
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This all revolves around a shady character, Yu Win.
Again.
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Mr Yu is standing for election to the Peoples Party.
You can expect a circular through your letter box any day now.
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Today is National Bubble Bath Day.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fassets1.punchbowl.com%2Fcelebration_images%2Fp0000%2F0676%2Frtc_january_8_full.png%3F1325880501&hash=a4685beff06c17140f7fe880d0b48850)
Kindly use a proprietry Bubble Bath solution rather than making your own bubbles. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileyshack.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F12%2Fsfart_100-107.gif&hash=5bb04a0115312d6ee01d2802ef797057)
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What is he bubbling on about now?
Unlike me, those who daydream in the bath tub are wishy-washy.
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Are you suggesting I am prone to inane clap-trap? I'll have you know I am an upright member of the community, known for being upwardly mobile and would never comprise any such nonsense.
Oh, I don't know though, on the other hand, four fingers and a thumb.
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Kindly be prepared for the great event of the year.
I refer, of course, to that celebration of the great Englishman Stan Laurel and his equally great American partner Oliver Hardy.
Yes folks its
National Cuckoo Dancing Week
Are you ready? go (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snnCKVFzjHE)
WHOOPEEEEEeeeeee
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sotd.org%2Fgraphics%2F2_1.gif&hash=87f2e856af8dffca492684467757c3f8)
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Are you suggesting I am prone to inane clap-trap? I'll have you know I am an upright member of the community, known for being upwardly mobile and would never comprise any such nonsense.
Oh, I don't know though, on the other hand, four fingers and a thumb.
The Tallest Building Award To Don_1!
<applause>
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmanonthelam.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F11%2FThe-tallest-building-in-the-world-Burj-Khalifa-Dubai-UAE_thumb.jpg&hash=c55023cd470a16d17c681f2a15c0f7b6)
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Kindly be prepared for the great event of the year.
I refer, of course, to that celebration of the great Englishman Stan Laurel and his equally great American partner Oliver Hardy.
Yes folks its
National Cuckoo Dancing Week
Are you ready? go (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snnCKVFzjHE)
WHOOPEEEEEeeeeee
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia-cache-ec2.pinterest.com%2Fupload%2F107171666102316880_B5Xk9eAy_b.jpg&hash=4a7776726789b65e1f4af0d2912d9e98)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimagecache6.allposters.com%2FLRG%2F16%2F1680%2FIB71D00Z.jpg&hash=29167ca3d7ab7e2debbf45c5a461dec9)
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This all revolves around a shady character, Yu Win.
Again.
Mr Yu is standing for election to the Peoples Party.
You can expect a circular through your letter box any day now.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F_E1j8gmCIr9w%2FTRkTnGRJbJI%2FAAAAAAAAI8c%2FAavOekT_BmQ%2Fs1600%2FYourWinAgain-BigBanner.jpg&hash=08fb1068cd696928808fbae3730b4a7c)
Mr. Yu cashed in franchise-like: he sold his name to the Bee Gees!
And sold it cleverly to the Late Hank Williams Estate!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F_Gbj0mpn5XyA%2FSW2GygJaQFI%2FAAAAAAAACWc%2FQz89KvHlkAo%2Fs400%2Fwinagain.jpg&hash=bba54e3cb87ce811c0edec53bef753bd)
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Are you suggesting I am prone to inane clap-trap? I'll have you know I am an upright member of the community, known for being upwardly mobile and would never comprise any such nonsense.
Oh, I don't know though, on the other hand, four fingers and a thumb.
The Tallest Building Award To Don_1!
<applause>
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmanonthelam.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F11%2FThe-tallest-building-in-the-world-Burj-Khalifa-Dubai-UAE_thumb.jpg&hash=c55023cd470a16d17c681f2a15c0f7b6)
I suppose you could that's a "Tall storey"
You shard (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Shard) have known that would be my response.
-
The shady building contractor wanted to sell me an inferior shard deal, but I could see right through it.
-
You shard* (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Shard) have known that would be my response.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA0AFD13C-449E-4B89-9E3E-AE8FE8AAA6ED-161-00000017FD16D2C6.jpg&hash=31faa5904f1a752917ec9dcac83a13f1)
The Shard in May 2012
London, England
Tallest in European Union since 2011
*for those of us who are too lazy to click on Don_1's link.
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January, 2013 is:
Apple and Apricots Month
http://www.cdc.gov/nutrition/everyone/fruitsvegetables/index.html
Who is the apple of YOUR eye?
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.lesclaypool.com%2Fimg%2Fsplash-apricot-large.jpg&hash=c2456b127d8737044e5add317bd9a722)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clipartpoint.com%2F_Picture%255CWeb%2520Objects%255CPhotos%255CPRODUCE%255CAPRICOT.JPG&hash=54bb02cdb58a539d6d8978e63fcd4300)
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Today is National Bubble Bath Day.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fassets1.punchbowl.com%2Fcelebration_images%2Fp0000%2F0676%2Frtc_january_8_full.png%3F1325880501&hash=a4685beff06c17140f7fe880d0b48850)
Kindly use a proprietary Bubble Bath solution rather than making your own bubbles. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileyshack.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F12%2Fsfart_100-107.gif&hash=5bb04a0115312d6ee01d2802ef797057)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftoms3dtech.com%2F0_anim%2F09.gif&hash=8b2cb1d0ec42e61f45184ac2a6bcf0c6)
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January, 2013 is:
Apple and Apricots Month
http://www.cdc.gov/nutrition/everyone/fruitsvegetables/index.html
Who is the apple of YOUR eye?
With reference to the apples:-
M'lud, I can say without fear of contradiction, I have no apples in my eye. Irist my case.
Core...... its enough to give you the pip.
As for the apricots:-
What comes apricots? A childs bed. (Après cots)
I quite like a little fruit mixed in my salad. Apple goes well with either Lettuce or Chard.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.lesclaypool.com%2Fimg%2Fsplash-apricot-large.jpg&hash=c2456b127d8737044e5add317bd9a722)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clipartpoint.com%2F_Picture%255CWeb%2520Objects%255CPhotos%255CPRODUCE%255CAPRICOT.JPG&hash=54bb02cdb58a539d6d8978e63fcd4300)
Electric apricots??? Watt is this producer doing plugging these? It's shocking. Wire would anyone want to eat such energy wasting fruit? They must rate very low on the green gage.
Do they have a very low voltage, or range into the higher voltages?
Which reminds me, I was once asked to stand up and sing 'Oh my darling Clemantine'. Everyone boo'ed so I sat suma than I expected.
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Electric apricots??? Watt is this producer doing plugging these? It's shocking. Wire would anyone want to eat such energy wasting fruit? They must rate very low on the green gage.
Do they have a very low voltage, or range into the higher voltages?
Which reminds me, I was once asked to stand up and sing 'Oh my darling Clemantine'. Everyone boo'ed so I sat suma than I expected.
January, 2013 is:
Apple and Apricots Month
http://www.cdc.gov/nutrition/everyone/fruitsvegetables/index.html
Who is the apple of YOUR eye?
With reference to the apples:-
M'lud, I can say without fear of contradiction, I have no apples in my eye. Irist my case.
Core...... its enough to give you the pip.
As for the apricots:-
What comes apricots? A childs bed. (Après cots)
I quite like a little fruit mixed in my salad. Apple goes well with either Lettuce or Chard.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.lrhsd.org%2Fcms%2Flib05%2FNJ01000316%2FCentricity%2FDomain%2F155%2Ffruits%2Ffruitsintro.jpg&hash=a662d66455331a555030e0d3556516f8)
Don_1, my sincerest congratulations: I came up "empty" for apricot puns, searching high and low on the internet! Dunno how you did it!
My search was fruitless.
-
Orange you glad that Don_1 compoted such an electric remark?
-
My appologies Donnah, unlike Demo, I do not have any awards to hand out, but you can av a car do. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pixelmansion.com%2Findex.php%3FPHPSESSID%3D26d047e7d44743edb58b51d5288efe39%26amp%3Baction%3Ddlattach%3Btopic%3D163.0%3Battach%3D1253%3Bimage&hash=a1c1f6f117d027f1117129fe6a66d0a9)
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My search was fruitless.
You should have sought the assistance of a pear of nuts, but all I could hear was you pine, "Apple, I need a fruit PUN, not a fruit BUN".
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Orange you glad that Don_1 compoted such an electric remark?
I too often speak to my kitchen utensils.
"Com pot and you pan, we have pudding to make."
-
Orange you glad that Don_1 compoted such an electric remark?
Yes, and I am now most berry grapeful.
-
Right. Now this one is so contrived I can't believe I am going to do it.
A berry from the Antipodes was begining to get on my nerves, so I had to tell it push off. I made it quite clear I didn't want it around saying "Go ose berry".
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I love it! These really are grape fruit puns, in fact I might say they are divine.
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Citrus self down and look up at the star (fruit).
-
When it comes to drinks, citrus fruit juices are always in the limelight.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.newrafael.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F05%2Fanimated_fruits.gif&hash=16bfe6f68a4c02e5a3e1bfd7373e7245)
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Kindly be prepared for the great event of the year.
I refer, of course, to that celebration of the great Englishman Stan Laurel and his equally great American partner Oliver Hardy.
Yes folks its
National Cuckoo Dancing Week
Are you ready? go (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snnCKVFzjHE)
WHOOPEEEEEeeeeee
THIS ENDS JANUARY 17, 2013! HURRY!
-
January 19 - 20, 2013:
Bald Eagle Appreciation Days
I bet Don_1 can pull a pun outta this. Why? Because he's talonted, that's why.
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A berry from the Antipodes was begining to get on my nerves, so I had to tell it push off. I made it quite clear I didn't want it around saying "Go ose berry".
Good thing. People may have misunderstood it saying, "Go lose berry" if it occurred on No-L Day!
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No-L Day; Holy Christmas!
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No-L Day; Holy Christmas!
Yes! They could use you as a 4th Angel!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fecx.images-amazon.com%2Fimages%2FI%2F61fvJTn24yL._SL500_AA280_.jpg&hash=70091b5fceb1a0bf91e52aac5b54feeb)
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January 19 - 20, 2013:
Bald Eagle Appreciation Days
A round of raptorous applause for the Bald Eagle.
I bet Don_1 can pull a pun outta this. Why? Because he's talonted, that's why.
I shall see what I can do to honour the claws in my TNS contract.
In the mean time here is a joke for that miserable old sod Perry. With any luck it will make Perry grin.
As I approached the door, I saw a sign which read 'Knocker not working - please use the button & buzz hard.' I reached the conclusion that someone was falcon about.
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No-L Day; Holy Christmas!
Yes! They could use you as a 4th Angel!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fecx.images-amazon.com%2Fimages%2FI%2F61fvJTn24yL._SL500_AA280_.jpg&hash=70091b5fceb1a0bf91e52aac5b54feeb)
I'm all for Donnah being the 4th angle, after all, she is a ccutey
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I shall see what I can do to honour the claws in my TNS contract.
There's a clawback in your contract that - as in Bernie Madoff's case - you must pay back TNS every dollar in excess profits that you received from them. Sorry.
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No-L Day; Holy Christmas!
Yes! They could use you as a 4th Angel!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fecx.images-amazon.com%2Fimages%2FI%2F61fvJTn24yL._SL500_AA280_.jpg&hash=70091b5fceb1a0bf91e52aac5b54feeb)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB4D62398-450C-42D5-B0FC-DEDA5587F824-735-000000F17755982E.jpg&hash=1ddd3551c4efb3c7739dbd40248c1352)
I'm all for Donnah being the 4th angle, after all, she is a ccutey
She is certainly not obtuse as you and I...
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January 19 - 20, 2013:
Bald Eagle Appreciation Days
A round of raptorous applause for the Bald Eagle.
I bet Don_1 can pull a pun outta this. Why? Because he's talonted, that's why.
I shall see what I can do to honour the claws in my TNS contract.
In the mean time here is a joke for that miserable old sod Perry. With any luck it will make Perry grin.
As I approached the door, I saw a sign which read 'Knocker not working - please use the button & buzz hard.' I reached the conclusion that someone was falcon about.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm2.staticflickr.com%2F1001%2F746843857_8e89e3373c_z.jpg&hash=efe6e8cf5a20e17ce18eee85a23f837c)
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TNS formed an add hawk committee to award Don_1 for his well documented peregrinations (e.g., his Falcon Award above).
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No-L Day; Holy Christmas!
Yes! They could use you as a 4th Angel!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fecx.images-amazon.com%2Fimages%2FI%2F61fvJTn24yL._SL500_AA280_.jpg&hash=70091b5fceb1a0bf91e52aac5b54feeb)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB4D62398-450C-42D5-B0FC-DEDA5587F824-735-000000F17755982E.jpg&hash=1ddd3551c4efb3c7739dbd40248c1352)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F7D3224D5-F60C-480C-AA91-E8872FAB9574-735-000000F16BA021AF.jpg&hash=dcd41b61956fe36ba79a4b7091be6329)
I'm all for Donnah being the 4th angle, after all, she is a ccutey
She is certainly not obtuse as you and I...
What's your angle? Did I spell that right?
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What's your angle?...
I was just angling for your affection, like Don_1.
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Angle...Did I spell that right?
Yes. But if you ever leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster.
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Citrus self down and look up at the star (fruit).
Donnah wins the...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcmf-mm.meistermedia.net%2Fmedium_topstories%2F39697%2F2013-Citrus-Achievement-Award-logo.jpg&hash=070d6ecb44e0d1d419475f319a9f986a)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgifsoup.com%2Fwebroot%2Fanimatedgifs4%2F2053966_o.gif&hash=b6dbe10ebb2b93736b9757d965bb04dd)
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A cid cit ru self down on my lap.
I'd better translate that one....
I said sit your self down on my lap.
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A cid cit ru self down on my lap.
I'd better translate that one....
I said sit your self down on my lap.
This will be added to:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.citrusstudios.com%2Fimages%2Fthe_citrus_fact.png&hash=c0c30a7e6e43afdbeaf253a3f8e7fd05)
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A cid cit ru self down on my lap.
I'd better translate that one....
I said sit your self down on my lap.
Man! Daring pun there! I think that one crossed the lime, Don_1!
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Any way you slice it!
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Juicy tidbits!
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February, 2013 is:
American Heart (UK = Heart) Month
I couldn't bypass this great opportunity to post this remembrance on the 3rd memorable anniversary of my wonderful emergency cardiac care experience.
The procedure was not all in vein!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.collegenaturalmedicine.com%2Fproduct_images%2Fuploaded_images%2FBeating_Heart_animation.gif&hash=6e28a4d0916fb5791c9988f051529bd8)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fe08595.medialib.glogster.com%2Fmedia%2F9a%2F9a310a3c15d8b889cf1ac1a957950c6b54395aff0e51ba1a9c497cf880ec0e3d%2Fheart-diagram-1.png&hash=45d4fde07f6a65659d199f04406c7fdc)
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I guess a orta say something, but demo's graphics are hard to beat.
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A cid cit ru self down on my lap.
I'd better translate that one....
I said sit your self down on my lap.
Man! Daring pun there! I think that one crossed the lime, Don_1!
That's considered mandarintory behavior here, bizerl.
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I guess a orta say something, but demo's graphics grafx are hard to beat.
Aw, thanks, Donnah, your heart's in the right place.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.collegenaturalmedicine.com%2Fproduct_images%2Fuploaded_images%2FBeating_Heart_animation.gif&hash=6e28a4d0916fb5791c9988f051529bd8)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fe08595.medialib.glogster.com%2Fmedia%2F9a%2F9a310a3c15d8b889cf1ac1a957950c6b54395aff0e51ba1a9c497cf880ec0e3d%2Fheart-diagram-1.png&hash=45d4fde07f6a65659d199f04406c7fdc)
Wasn't Superior Vena Cava one of the Jedi Masters from Star Wars?
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.collegenaturalmedicine.com%2Fproduct_images%2Fuploaded_images%2FBeating_Heart_animation.gif&hash=6e28a4d0916fb5791c9988f051529bd8)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fe08595.medialib.glogster.com%2Fmedia%2F9a%2F9a310a3c15d8b889cf1ac1a957950c6b54395aff0e51ba1a9c497cf880ec0e3d%2Fheart-diagram-1.png&hash=45d4fde07f6a65659d199f04406c7fdc)
Wasn't Superior Vena Cava one of the Jedi Masters from Star Wars?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.rogersbasement.com%2FStarwars%2Fimages%2FStarwars%2FAnigifs%2Fspship14.gif&hash=1ed96fdb09053838275c5eb33afbcfe9)
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here my scans before and after
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.roots2life.com%2Fsites%2Fdefault%2Ffiles%2Fu1%2FscanSm2.png&hash=dd3679d3c14cf8126eb937d2de2085d3)
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Yep. Thanks demo. I saw it the first time.
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Yep. Thanks demo. I saw it the first time.
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Ok perhaps that was not an ideal way to say I didn't understand the previous pun.
_Redundantly_ repetitive graphic removed!
My wish is your command.
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September 10th through September 16th is:
International Flirting Week: (Week of Valentines Day)
If you give your sweetie pretty flowers will she turn on her flirty powers.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.netanimations.net%2FAnimated-picture-of-sparling-Valentine-heart.gif&hash=356f65dcf7b280ccefcaa766bb45482f)
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September 10th through September 16th is:
International Flirting Week: (Week of Valentines Day)
If you give your sweetie pretty flowers will she turn on her flirty powers.
Nice pick-up demo. The ball's now back in my court. Don't you just find this kind of chat up-lifting mate? You may not agree with this proposal but I do.
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On Valentine's Day, many people - like me - take heart and try again.
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Nice pick-up demo. The ball's now back in my court. Don't you just find this kind of chat up-lifting mate? You may not agree with this proposal but I do.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dragonflyromance.com%2F_%2Frsrc%2F1348026551828%2Fhome%2Fsweetest-romance-awards%2FFinal%2520Website%2520Sweet%2520Romance%2520Award.png&hash=8f41e02c7371be4361e7d44804856eff)
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You may be aware that Richard III has been found in a car park in Leicester. I don't know what all the fuss is about, I've found Richard III's in car parks all over the country. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fsh1t%2Fstepping-in-poop.gif&hash=700641efa65144a246d82c57b844e01a)
A pun, a pun, my Kingdom for a pun!
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Nice pick-up demo. The ball's now back in my court. Don't you just find this kind of chat up-lifting mate? You may not agree with this proposal but I do.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dragonflyromance.com%2F_%2Frsrc%2F1348026551828%2Fhome%2Fsweetest-romance-awards%2FFinal%2520Website%2520Sweet%2520Romance%2520Award.png&hash=8f41e02c7371be4361e7d44804856eff)
What odd shaped balls you have. Do you play Rugby?
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Nice pick-up demo. The ball's now back in my court. Don't you just find this kind of chat up-lifting mate? You may not agree with this proposal but I do.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dragonflyromance.com%2F_%2Frsrc%2F1348026551828%2Fhome%2Fsweetest-romance-awards%2FFinal%2520Website%2520Sweet%2520Romance%2520Award.png&hash=8f41e02c7371be4361e7d44804856eff)
What odd shaped balls you have. Do you play Rugby?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi306.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fnn245%2Fmarie01_08%2FLaughter%2Fth_AnimatedLaughter.gif&hash=36b131a3bdd0cf6e259ab0a1facdc0ee)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fus.123rf.com%2F400wm%2F400%2F400%2Fpatrimonio%2Fpatrimonio1010%2Fpatrimonio101000056%2F7997683-illustration-of-a-rugby-player-running-with-ball-facing-front-with-shield-in-background-and-words.jpg&hash=b2f4c4ce9567b480f309d3ea1092d35b)
"Have a ball with Don_1!"
TNS' Award budget is feeling the strain, Don_1, with all your, bizerl and Donnah Awards! So much talent and it MUST be recognized! [:)]
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I don nah what you are going to do if the money runs out, can we bi zer el of a lot of stock for the future in advance? I assume we are OK at de moment, but I don wan to hand out awards if we are short of stock.
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I guess a orta say something, but demo's graphics are hard to beat.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.greatatlantictrophy.com%2Fmm5%2Fgraphics%2F00000001%2FRF-1354.jpg&hash=0b0ffd29a1e40238f8e77deea028e685)
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Can someone on The TNS Awards Committee kindly insert Donnah's name at the base of her All-Heart Award (see above)? Sloppy negligence! Someone dropped the ball
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I don nah what you are going to do if the money runs out, can we bi zer el of a lot of stock for the future in advance? I assume we are OK at de moment, but I don wan to hand out awards if we are short of stock.
We are decidedly NOT out of stock soup.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.keeplearningkeepsmiling.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F06%2Fsoup-stock.png&hash=d6078ce0044eaac817010b38c046c0b8)Photo courtesy TNS Soup Kitchens
See?
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimage.made-in-china.com%2F6f3j00CvyaGALrCtbM%2Fcompany-tns-furniture.jpg&hash=3771d9ba648e208fe1da4b133bdbc2ad)
Don_1, perhaps you're thinking that their stock is suffering in Asia. But we don't give many awards there, so we're safe!
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I don nah what you are going to do if the money runs out, can we bi zer el of a lot of stock for the future in advance? I assume we are OK at de moment, but I don wan to hand out awards if we are short of stock.
We are decidedly NOT out of stock soup.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.keeplearningkeepsmiling.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F06%2Fsoup-stock.png&hash=d6078ce0044eaac817010b38c046c0b8)Photo courtesy TNS Soup Kitchens
See?
I am pleasantly souprised to hear that, so was my brother, Len, till he read about Asia getting on the gravy train.
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sniff sniff What's that smell? sniff sniff Is it gas?
I'd better take a look at the oven.
Its no good, I can't see anything under here and the torch (US = flashlight) has a flat battery. I know, I'll strike a match to see where I need to put this gas patcheo. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fwar%2Fgrenade.gif&hash=6d8b8e5865c775a0afda03c093850b52) Oopps....
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No need to strike a match! Gazpacho soup is best served cold!
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I don nah what you are going to do if the money runs out, can we bi zer el of a lot of stock for the future in advance? I assume we are OK at de moment, but I don wan to hand out awards if we are short of stock.
We are decidedly NOT out of stock soup.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.keeplearningkeepsmiling.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F06%2Fsoup-stock.png&hash=d6078ce0044eaac817010b38c046c0b8)Photo courtesy TNS Soup Kitchens
See?
I am pleasantly souprised to hear that, so was my brother, Len, till he read about Asia getting on the gravy train.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-oUflCRhcSTg%2FT1O2_1Pv-jI%2FAAAAAAAAAfY%2Ffxq-RrPK0JQ%2Fs1600%2FYUMMY%2BAWARD.jpg&hash=eb3033d3e6ab8c75ad574ec45ca2cdce)
Don_1 once again performs souperbly.
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I think I'm too chicken to publicly pea and ham it up, vich ys so iselating!
Boo, Hiss! Go on, throw your tomatos!
ps. what's your favourite movie? mine's Tron, even though I haven't seen it.
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Well, you didn't leave mush room for me to fit in an extra pun or two there, did you. As Para Gastronome Pt. Parts said when cooking supper for the regiment, "You certainly know your onions."
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-oUflCRhcSTg%2FT1O2_1Pv-jI%2FAAAAAAAAAfY%2Ffxq-RrPK0JQ%2Fs1600%2FYUMMY%2BAWARD.jpg&hash=eb3033d3e6ab8c75ad574ec45ca2cdce)
I suppose that would be a sort of Alpahbetti Spagetti with only A, B, C, D, E, F & G, some flat, some sharp and perchance the odd few augmented.
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You can find Alphabetti Spaghetti at your favorite local bar, but you must wait in line for it. Delegate: have one of your staff pick it up instead. They can whistle a tune while they're waiting. But encourage them to eat with a fork to maximize spaghetti twirlability.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimage.made-in-china.com%2F6f3j00CvyaGALrCtbM%2Fcompany-tns-furniture.jpg&hash=3771d9ba648e208fe1da4b133bdbc2ad)
Don_1, perhaps you're thinking that their stock is suffering in Asia. But we don't give many awards there, so we're safe!
TNS
Technically Not Stolen
Telescopic Nose Syndrome
Thylacines Never Smell
Thanks! No, Seriously!
Thought Not, Sadly.
Try Netting Sharks
Turn Next Second
This Now Stinks
Thanks. Now Stop!
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what're you doing up so early/late???
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ps. what's your favourite movie?
US = favorite. I don't want to confuse Don_1. He often clarifies words internationally.
A florist asked me, "what's your favourite (US = favorite) flower?"
I replied, "Self raising."
...torch (US = flashlight)
Without such occasional clarification, these misunderstandings could lead to another Revolutionary War. I'm sure you understand.
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what're you doing up so early/late???
I'm living on (probably) the other side of the world. Whilst one could argue that 2:30pm is too early for dinner and too late for lunch, it's not unusual for us Australians to be up.
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what're you doing up so early/late???
I'm living on (probably) the other side of the world. Whilst one could argue that 2:30pm is too early for dinner and too late for lunch, it's not unusual for us Australians to be up.
bizerl demystified!
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I think I'm too chicken to publicly pea and ham it up, vich ys so iselating!
I'm not sure what your intent is. You should check bivore u accost me with such swaggeringly incoherent words such as "py" "ys" . A stretchier use of the inglish language, I have not scene!
Well said!
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what're you doing up so early/late???
I'm living on (probably) the other side of the world. Whilst one could argue that 2:30pm is too early for dinner and too late for lunch, it's not unusual for us Australians to be up.
bizerl demystified!
I would have been able to make a pun out of de myst if I'ed been quicker!
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de mystake I made was thinking you're in the UK.
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de mystake I made was thinking you're in the UK.
Technically I'm still part of the British Empire (for some reason).
Long live the Queen!
Now, what are YOU doing up?
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It's only 10:30 pm (PST).
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Long live the Queen!
Long live...uh....Washington???
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[Technically I'm still part of the British Empire (for some reason).
Empire??? The only Empire we've got now is the flea pit down the road. Its the 'Commonwealth' now. Wealth??? What bloody wealth?
Cripes, don't leave us Auz, don't go all republic on us. We luvs ya!
Long live the Queen!
Don't let Prince Charles hear you say that.
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Long live the Queen!
Don't let Prince Charles hear you say rap that.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fblogfiles.wfmu.org%2FED%2Fimages%2Fdj-hrh.gif&hash=307a79f2fd7d0e0158f92de7fe9c6722)
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Long live the Queen!
Don't let Prince Charles hear you say rap that.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fblogfiles.wfmu.org%2FED%2Fimages%2Fdj-hrh.gif&hash=307a79f2fd7d0e0158f92de7fe9c6722)
I wonder if that's a recording of the queen of Denmark's abdication speech that he's playing over and over again to his mum.
On a dark night I was walking along and found myself in a burlesque entrance. The cast let me in and before I knew it, I had my paw nestled in some duchess's lap! My alibi? Shopping of course!
Sorry guys, but I thought the moderators might close the thread if we didn't keep on topic with a pun soon. I know they check material often.
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Long live the Queen!
Don't let Prince Charles hear you say rap that.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fblogfiles.wfmu.org%2FED%2Fimages%2Fdj-hrh.gif&hash=307a79f2fd7d0e0158f92de7fe9c6722)
I wonder if that's a recording of the queen of Denmark's abdication speech that he's playing over and over again to his mum.
On a dark night I was walking along and found myself in a burlesque entrance. The cast let me in and before I knew it, I had my paw nestled in some duchess's lap! My alibi? Shopping of course!
Sorry guys, but I thought the moderators might close the thread if we didn't keep on topic with a pun soon. I know they check material often.
What a coincidence! Tonight was Hollywood's Oscar Awards and on the very same day, bizerl is awarded...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.chessbase.com%2Fimages2%2F2004%2Fchessoscar01.jpg&hash=7d0d08a87360b334c0cde271e0a10fb8)
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Well, what can I say mate? After just a day or two I check back here to find you have become board with the line we were following. I shall have to square up to this new challenge. En passant this thread to me, you have set me quite a task. But I am no rookie at this punning lark, though what you are asking of me is considerable, I resign myself to coming up with the goodies, though some of my puns may be old and rather stale, mate.
Now if you'll excuse me, I must away to get some of my old puns out of the pawn shop. Times is 'ard.
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Long live the Queen!
Don't let Prince Charles hear you say rap that.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fblogfiles.wfmu.org%2FED%2Fimages%2Fdj-hrh.gif&hash=307a79f2fd7d0e0158f92de7fe9c6722)
I wonder if that's a recording of the queen of Denmark's abdication speech that he's playing over and over again to his mum.
On a dark night I was walking along and found myself in a burlesque entrance. The cast let me in and before I knew it, I had my paw nestled in some duchess's lap! My alibi? Shopping of course!
Sorry guys, but I thought the moderators might close the thread if we didn't keep on topic with a pun soon. I know they check material often.
What a coincidence! Tonight was Hollywood's Oscar Awards and on the very same day, bizerl is awarded...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.chessbase.com%2Fimages2%2F2004%2Fchessoscar01.jpg&hash=7d0d08a87360b334c0cde271e0a10fb8)
Well, what can I say mate? After just a day or two I check back here to find you have become board with the line we were following. I shall have to square up to this new challenge. En passant this thread to me, you have set me quite a task. But I am no rookie at this punning lark, though what you are asking of me is considerable, I resign myself to coming up with the goodies, though some of my puns may be old and rather stale, mate.
Now if you'll excuse me, I must away to get some of my old puns out of the pawn shop. Times is 'ard.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.chessbase.com%2Fimages2%2F2004%2Fchessoscar01.jpg&hash=7d0d08a87360b334c0cde271e0a10fb8)
Help! It's a tie!!! Donnah, we need a tie-breaker! help decide this!!!
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Today, February 26, is:
For Pete's Sake Day
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-rldlv_BJUKs%2FT0UVoRYIBsI%2FAAAAAAAAEW8%2F3Kss1PxatTg%2Fs1600%2FFor%2BPetes%2BSake%2Bbook%2Bpic.gif&hash=372b845270c46854de4a27b29f02b208)
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Help! It's a tie!!! Donnah, we need a tie-breaker! help decide this!!!
OK Donnah, Demo is castling his net for a tie breaker. It'll be alwhite if you go first, but remember, in the words of Arrne Schwarztntrotter, or whatever his name is, 'I'll be black.'
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Help! It's a tie!!! Donnah, we need a tie-breaker! help decide this!!!
OK Donnah, Demo is castling his net for a tie breaker. It'll be alwhite if you go first, but remember, in the words of Arrne Schwarztntrotter, or whatever his name is, 'I'll be black.'
This adds to your Chess Award Points!!
I'm sure the TNS Awards Committee will approve this extra prize below for your extra words!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FF886C544-101B-4C0F-96EE-6CFE3FC20952-434-000000333E418300.jpg&hash=a536ff48249b20e1760eb338e82521e6)
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Somehow I just knew you would come up with something like this, I could see silly 'uns (http://www.chesscorner.com/tutorial/openings/sicilian/sicilian_defence.htm) on the horizon.
I think Donnah is playing that old 'keep him waiting game'. Bit by bit she wants to wear me down. Its an old Chinese ploy intended to send your opponent pawn crackers.
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[ Invalid Attachment ]
Its an old Chinese ploy intended to send your opponent pawn crackers.
Let's keep pawnography out of this - this is a Science Forum. Punning science doesn't allow for cheessy posts.
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[ Invalid Attachment ]
Somehow I just knew you would come up with something like this, I could see silly 'uns (http://www.chesscorner.com/tutorial/openings/sicilian/sicilian_defence.htm) on the horizon.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwebclipart.about.com%2Flibrary%2Fblogclip%2Fblaugh.gif&hash=c3951c679032f18191d2faf3270cc194)
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Oh! How I hate canned laughter. That's just for fool's, mate.
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Teach me that, and I'll pay you by writing the quickest possible check, mate!
(UK = cheque)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0994AC08-0737-47BF-AD8C-EB6F947E53D7-391-00000023387E6E27.jpg&hash=69ad21ac48cd541bad1e933ce8e55311)
http://www.slashgear.com/national-day-of-unplugging-encourages-24-hours-of-enlightenment-02272203/
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0994AC08-0737-47BF-AD8C-EB6F947E53D7-391-00000023387E6E27.jpg&hash=69ad21ac48cd541bad1e933ce8e55311)
http://www.slashgear.com/national-day-of-unplugging-encourages-24-hours-of-enlightenment-02272203/
OOER!!!
999 (USA = 911)
brrrrrr brrrrrrr brrrrrr
Emergency, how can I help you?
Ah! Well, you see, its national unplugging day and I just unplugged Granny's life support system..........
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0994AC08-0737-47BF-AD8C-EB6F947E53D7-391-00000023387E6E27.jpg&hash=69ad21ac48cd541bad1e933ce8e55311)
Ah! Well, you see, its national unplugging day and I just unplugged Granny's life support system..........
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Favatarmaker.net%2Ffree-avatars%2Favatars%2Fanimated_214%2Fbags_of_laughter_animated_avatar_100x100_33452.gif&hash=42a3e4cbff34588ee8ea53239af75cf6)
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March, 2013 is:
International Ideas Month
I'm clueless.
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March, 2013 is:
International Ideas Month
I'm clueless.
OK, here's an idea for you, try baking some bread, then you'll be clue doe
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March, 2013 is:
International Ideas Month
I'm clueless.
OK, here's an idea for you, try baking some bread, then you'll be clue doe
You Must arduously compete with me and you are Plumb on the money there. I'm not telling a little White lie when I say you are at your Peac ockay? I aGree now that a Scar letts out blood more than a dagger, but if you let me be the lead piper than I can wrench the title of best punner off you. Only joking, I'd have to study for years for that hallowed title!
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I say old chap! You've been wadding tons of puns into your last post. Give me a chance too, you haven't got the monopoly on these puns. If you get too many in one post people get a little board. Games only hold the attention for a short while. Overdoing it can be a risk, when some people are looking for new careers.
OI!!! Shut that door, there's some terrible draughts in here.
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You haven't got the (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bobleroi.co.uk%2FScrapBook%2FPeterGander%2FMonopolyLogo_a.jpg&hash=a560adda70a7226691d8d835e954658c) on these puns.
Now where is that bored chairman going?
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I say old chap! You've been wadding tons of puns into your last post. Give me a chance too, you haven't got the monopoly on these puns. If you get too many in one post people get a little board. Games only hold the attention for a short while. Overdoing it can be a risk, when some people are looking for new careers.
OI!!! Shut that door, there's some terrible draughts in here.
You May fair better than U no for your solitairey effort, but I'll be back! Gamme on!
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[Here's a] solitairey effort...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2F5%2F54%2FEvergreen_game_animation.gif&hash=1ea8ce1292e5e60d451720b681bf0856)
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Sorry, is it my move?
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I say old chap! You've been wadding tons of puns into your last post. Give me a chance too, you haven't got the monopoly on these puns. If you get too many in one post people get a little board. Games only hold the attention for a short while. Overdoing it can be a risk, when some people are looking for new careers.
OI!!! Shut that door, there's some terrible draughts in here.
You May fair better than U no for your solitairey effort, but I'll be back! Gamme on!
Mmmmmm..... I like a nice bit of back gammon, grilled with egg & chips.
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I say old chap! You've been wadding tons of puns into your last post. Give me a chance too, you haven't got the monopoly on these puns. If you get too many in one post people get a little board. Games only hold the attention for a short while. Overdoing it can be a risk, when some people are looking for new careers.
OI!!! Shut that door, there's some terrible draughts in here.
You May fair better than U no for your solitairey effort, but I'll be back! Gamme on!
Mmmmmm..... I like a nice bit of backgammon, grilled with egg & chips.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F71C6C7A6-3A6D-4383-A384-AC3261440A7C-758-0000003DBC203D5C.jpg&hash=3a482846c1c5dcb940371662d26f75ce)
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Not sure the Old Maid has any in the cupboard. Let me check er out!
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I was going to post a picture of me in an omelette mask, but I thought I'd just end up with egg on my face.
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Could you serve eggs on eggs? How about Quails eggs on fish eggs?
Egg on Roe? nay lad.
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I was going to post a picture of me in an omelette mask, but I thought I'd just end up with egg on my face.
I bumped into a chick from Kentucky named Dixie who was a delight. She was a small fry so I scrambled to take her under my wing. Hey, she egged me on.
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I was going to post a picture of me in an omelette mask, but I thought I'd just end up with egg on my face.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.groonk.net%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F11%2Feggsmurmur.gif&hash=84657547380507e0a335449ab1bd62ef)
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I was going to post a picture of me in an omelette mask, but I thought I'd just end up with egg on my face.
I bumped into a chick from Kentucky named Dixie who was a delight. She was a small fry so I scrambled to take her under my wing. Hey, she egged me on.
Glad that's over. Easy mistake to make!
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bizerl, omletting you know that you understand how to keep the sunny side up.
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bizerl, omletting you know that you understand how to keep the sunny side up.
I'm sure he poached that from me. Him and his egg. No going back now. Heed the warning shell or I'll scramble the RAF.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.groonk.net%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F11%2Feggsmurmur.gif&hash=84657547380507e0a335449ab1bd62ef)
Who does this remind me of???
Must be Stephen Fry (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vp9pAqOsSAg)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.groonk.net%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F11%2Feggsmurmur.gif&hash=84657547380507e0a335449ab1bd62ef)
Who does this remind me of???
Must be Stephen Fry
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vp9pAqOsSAg)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gifs.net%2FAnimation11%2FHolidays%2FSaint_Patricks_Day%2FLaughing_hard.gif&hash=3ec40c0153540e97b7c690cc40302a06)
Leftover from St Patrick's Day, so don't worry about the budget, Don_1.
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Not sure the Old Maid has any [eggs] in the cupboard.
But where will you put the 5th one?????
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0C076A42-1BDE-4C42-8EF4-E27455248D24-153-00000005E971A3DA.jpg&hash=22e64f8dd8bde9b24739a6c7533f6f15)
Let me check er out!
I gave up playing chess, and went on to a checkered career.
Furthermore...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F24E09040-BA02-44B2-A868-B5D538956785-153-00000005F8584E55.jpg&hash=6febf6a10a8088b9b4c0fd5efd5c9a4b)
...this sub-thread is not eggsactly a "Mickey Mouse" pun on eggs! Let's have some reggspect!
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Do you think we should move on? I think these puns are just about eggsahusted now.
Of course, if you have any more to eggstrapolate, do carry on, I'm easy over here.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F24E09040-BA02-44B2-A868-B5D538956785-153-00000005F8584E55.jpg&hash=6febf6a10a8088b9b4c0fd5efd5c9a4b)
...this sub-thread is not eggsactly a "Mickey Mouse" pun on eggs! Let's have some reggspect!
I didn't think mice laid eggs!!!
OH! But of course, they must lay eggs at eggsmouse.
Hmmm, a tad oblique perhaps. Allow me to eggsplane:-
eggsmouse = xmouse = eggsmas = xmas
I went for the double pun there.
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Do you think we should move on? I think these puns are just about eggsahusted now.
Why give up when we are doing such eggsellent work? Who knows, we may even be awarded a scrumptious (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fblogchef.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F07%2Fegg_salad_sandwich_1.jpg&hash=abf2e218aa43ef8ae66e890b4fb51073) for a prize!
Of course, if you have any more to eggstrapolate, do carry on, I'm easy over here.
Be proud. This is not our first run at eggs! Anyone else in their right mind would've given up ægges - long ago!
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March, 2013 is:
Bell Peppers and Broccoli Month
http://www.cdc.gov/nutrition/everyone/fruitsvegetables/index.html
The Saddest Vegetable in Existence
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6276539392/h79C3901F/)
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Do you think we should move on? I think these puns are just about eggsahusted now.
Of course, if you have any more to eggstrapolate, do carry on, I'm easy over here.
Move on?!? Ova my dead body!
ps. demo, where do you poach all your pictures from?
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Do you think we should move on? I think these puns are just about eggsahusted now.
Of course, if you have any more to eggstrapolate, do carry on, I'm easy over here.
Move on?!? Ova my dead body!
ps. demo, where do you poach all your pictures from?
bizerl, omletting you know that you understand how to keep the sunny side up.
I'm sure he poached that from me. Him and his egg. No going back now. Heed the warning shell or I'll scramble the RAF.
You're right. There's nothing new here. I fall opianly into submission. It's too hard. Boiled over into ridiculousness this topic has.
who let Yoda in here?
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demo, where do you poach all your pictures from?
Stolen eggs are poached.
I get my pics from Google. Why? Do you have a better source?
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Stolen eggs are poached.
I see you are eggstollen* your capabilities as a baker now, but did you know that because of the high fruit content of this culinary delight, it tends to mar zi pan during baking. Yes, its true delights such as these can be quite corrosive.
*Please note yet another double pun.
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...........Do you have a better source?
When it comes to being sourcey, I'll have to go a long way to ketch up with you. You just leave me miles beheinz.
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*Please note yet another double pun.
So now you expect FOUR prizes??? (2 double-entendres)
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...........Do you have a better source?
When it comes to being sourcey, I'll have to go a long way to ketch up with you. You just leave me miles beheinz.
I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
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*Please note yet another double pun.
So now you expect FOUR prizes??? (2 double-entendres)
Four candles (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaGpaj2nHIo) will suffice, thank you.
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...........Do you have a better source?
When it comes to being sourcey, I'll have to go a long way to ketch up with you. You just leave me miles beheinz.
I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
May your nazel passage always find that which you salt and never leave you in a pickle. I garn ishue you with any baetter wishes or nonsense other than the balls a Mick gave to me when I suggested he should treat his corn with flowers with all the pep 'er indoors can musterd.
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*Please note yet another double pun.
So now you expect FOUR prizes??? (2 double-entendres)
Four candles (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaGpaj2nHIo) will suffice, thank you.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FBCE06658-79A7-441F-A9D8-A3980AFF677A-150-000000056B06E1FE.jpg&hash=c6d3cb0883fead9fe76200d599da3315)
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Bill hooks!
[ Invalid Attachment ]
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thenakedscientists.com%2Fforum%2Findex.php%3Faction%3Ddlattach%3Btopic%3D31700.0%3Battach%3D17592%3Bimage&hash=4d43616e123ed62f85a5934b759b10b7)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ft2.ftcdn.net%2Fjpg%2F00%2F29%2F98%2F27%2F400_F_29982741_Qdj7WAmybxjbM9zveyH0zjJ5wQOBqv27.jpg&hash=cad6f5865d73abbafb6d20241eab7177)
Oh no! Did I poach a bad pun?????
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Stolen eggs are poached.
I see you are eggstollen* your capabilities as a baker now, but did you know that because of the high fruit content of this culinary delight, it tends to mar zi pan during baking. Yes, its true delights such as these can be quite corrosive.
To Don_1!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Ffunny_cake_award-r00a18c5c80b44506ba2eef1725612951_8bozq_8byvr_512.jpg&hash=af3b3155d4bd7e2ac59fc785e5ab2f1a)
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March, 2013 is:
Bell Peppers and Broccoli Month
http://www.cdc.gov/nutrition/everyone/fruitsvegetables/index.html
Hurry! Only 2 days left!
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Edit post-"picture poach"ing[:)]:bizerl, omletting you know that you understand how to keep the sunny side up.
[:)]
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...........Do you have a better source?
When it comes to being sourcey, I'll have to go a long way to ketchup with you. You just leave me miles beheinz.
You left out Worcestershire source.
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Worcester matter with that? Though some say 'the more the merrier', on the contrary others say 'the leicester better'. What's more, wycombe if you are bald? You'll only end up feeling surrey for yourself. But have no fear, I will send you a greetings card iff it will make you feel any better.
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Wycombe if you are bald?
My hat's off on to you! (covering my baldness)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm2.static.flickr.com%2F1160%2F4722245895_8f247df5d8.jpg&hash=e5f1c99883bdeefedf2974fca5669666)
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Worcester matter with that? Though some say 'the more the merrier', on the contrary others say 'the leicester better'. What's more, wycombe if you are bald? You'll only end up feeling surrey for yourself. But have no fear, I will send you a greetings card iff it will make you feel any better.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F043539A4-CC84-4CC3-9973-73EE2BAF6F44-189-0000010A7C0EF1B9.jpg&hash=9a7edf82dc8f656674ba25f57f93d944)
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Don_ 1 is temporarily lost. He is working feverishly to find the next great location(s) for his Silver Award 2014!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F85261007-FE86-4D28-86DD-041106A81146-189-0000010F599CBCAE.jpg&hash=3103d575933d8568db7ed85a95afe636)
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Bill hooks!
[ Invalid Attachment ]
On Don_1's telly (US = TV) show, the assistant reveals that the request was for billhooks.
The audience is intended to infer that the shopkeeper misread it as bollocks or pillocks.
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Tomorrow, *April 2, 2013, is:
April Fool's Day
*First April Fool trick: it's NOT on April 2!
And here's a great April Fool wake-him-up-with-a-nice-surprise trick which will make any lover/spouse love you all day long!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F269CC16B-5853-4C88-9D6A-B244B5AA297A-189-00000121B9A9335B.jpg&hash=81fed3773acdc88b1fe12e0705311cad)
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Do I detect a web of deceit here?
Little Miss Muffet
sat on her tuffet
eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider
which sat down beside her
so she trod on it.
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I was about to tuck in to my easter egg, when I found the box had been openned by 'er indoors. I looked in the box with horror. My discovery got me in a spin 'er ette all my eggy!
For a punishment I decided a rack ni did the job.
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Do I detect a web of deceit here?
Little Miss Muffet
sat on her tuffet
eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider
which sat down beside her
so she trod on it.
I was about to tuck in to my easter egg, when I found the box had been openned by 'er indoors. I looked in the box with horror. My discovery got me in a spin 'er ette all my eggy!
For a punishment I decided a rack ni did the job.
On the contrary, Don_1, you are awarded this waterproofed Arachnids Chart!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2DBF6001-3662-42A4-B83C-A038449CCEB4-787-0000011F47AA764D.jpg&hash=bd759f0bf5c78bcebc38280174aec601)
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The female arachnid thought she could hide from me, but I spied 'er. I yelled 'Run under the cupboard, or be trodden on.'
Ann (remember her?) was having difficulty with her scales, do, ray, me and so on were OK but she was unable to 'la'. I decided to help her, so now I train Ann to la.
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Demo, your last post was a little unclear until I red back over it.
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Don_ 1 is temporarily lost. He is working feverishly to find the next great location(s) for his Silver Award 2014!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F85261007-FE86-4D28-86DD-041106A81146-189-0000010F599CBCAE.jpg&hash=3103d575933d8568db7ed85a95afe636)
With the dor set ajar, I turned my mind to matters placenamewise in Blighty. On my laptop I clicked the linc on East Anglia, but it gave me no insight to the area nor folk who live there.
Chest er minute. I thought, perhaps I should look to the west. That was a wales of an idea. My new port of call would be the western coast, where some towns are inland and some r set on the sea's edge. But I had better watch it or I may get muddled up and be gived a red card iff I make a mistake.
I shall do my best to avoid mention of Bristol Cities...... Oops!
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The female arachnid thought she could hide from me, but I spied 'er. I yelled 'Run under the cupboard, or be trodden on.'
Ann (remember her?) was having difficulty with her scales, do, ray, me and so on were OK but she was unable to 'la'. I decided to help her, so now I train Ann to la.
Demo, your last post was a little unclear until I red back over it.
As Don_1 is an airplane pilot, he should know that too many spiders in his house can turn it into a no fly zone!
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Demo, your last post was a little unclear until I red back over it.
Oh no!!! Yikes !!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F6C5FECD6-164F-448F-B5DA-E44D2A05CD60-192-00000063E2A56806.jpg&hash=fa5be3c0ae0a1e66fe11d3248ba0f0af)
Redback Spider (brrrrr!)
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Don_ 1 is temporarily lost. He is working feverishly to find the next great location(s) for his Silver Award 2014!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F85261007-FE86-4D28-86DD-041106A81146-189-0000010F599CBCAE.jpg&hash=3103d575933d8568db7ed85a95afe636)
I turned my mind to matters...in Blighty.
This Blighty???
What will Anna say???
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F10461B6A-9192-4F8B-BF43-E9CAF0BDB062-192-0000006699E35DDB.jpg&hash=6786bba9e3059b055a997ad898478f73)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0344E0DC-CF04-47C9-BC40-8880C7A9D9B6-192-00000069232444E1.jpg&hash=ddc16d6871019fafeb8dc3c71e118c2f)
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This Blighty???
What will Anna say???
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F10461B6A-9192-4F8B-BF43-E9CAF0BDB062-192-0000006699E35DDB.jpg&hash=6786bba9e3059b055a997ad898478f73)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0344E0DC-CF04-47C9-BC40-8880C7A9D9B6-192-00000069232444E1.jpg&hash=ddc16d6871019fafeb8dc3c71e118c2f)
I did vow not to mention Bristol Cities (curses, done it again), Demo, however, made no such promise, as is clear in this post.
I see that magazine was priced at 6d, a better way to spend a couple of thrupenny bits, I can't imagin.
Now look what you've made me do. I've mentioned them again. Doubtless I will be attacked by my knockers for having such afront as to mention them again. It was only my dialect being as me Londoner.
DOH!!! I've boobed!
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I get the feeling this is going to turn into a pair of posts I shall be gland to see burnt in a
brassiere brazier. Cross my heart.
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This Blighty???
What will Anna say???
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F10461B6A-9192-4F8B-BF43-E9CAF0BDB062-192-0000006699E35DDB.jpg&hash=6786bba9e3059b055a997ad898478f73)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0344E0DC-CF04-47C9-BC40-8880C7A9D9B6-192-00000069232444E1.jpg&hash=ddc16d6871019fafeb8dc3c71e118c2f)
I did vow not to mention Bristol Cities (curses, done it again), Demo, however, made no such promise, as is clear in this post.
I see that magazine was priced at 6d, a better way to spend a couple of thrupenny bits, I can't imagin.
Now look what you've made me do. I've mentioned them again. Doubtless I will be attacked by my knockers for having such afront as to mention them again. It was only my dialect being as me Londoner.
DOH!!! I've boobed!
I get the feeling this is going to turn into a pair of posts I shall be gland to see burnt in a brassiere brazier. Cross my heart.
It is only fitting that Don_1 earns yet another Punning Award!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F1D7ED14C-B4D1-4DFF-9413-F5DFF28341B2-341-00000025DA04D00E.jpg&hash=6570dc7bcf66a289d4b64b756bd72380)
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Fitting? FITTING? FITTING!!! I can do that, gis a job.
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He was known as Vic Damoan because he always had something to complain about.
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[ Invalid Attachment ]
He was known as Vic Damoan because he always had something to complain about.
A complainer??? We always treated Mr. Damoan to the very best culinary offerings and treats that Punning Thread has to offer!
Sigh. I guess no matter how great the cuisine, some people just like to whine-and-dine!
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What annoyed me was he would always liqu your plate after dinning. That's just not in the spirit of things, ale have you know. He's naught but a sham pain in the glass.
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What annoyed me was he would always liqu your plate after dinning. That's just not in the spirit of things, ale have you know. He's naught but a sham pain in the glass.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC8D0F90B-F75D-48B3-8951-AC7F3CE15E0B-640-0000004C3E31718A.jpg&hash=6cbf3d4c71f9f83ae0b42e242d2e0ee5)
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William was an ageing moonshine runner who became known as 'Over the hill Billy'
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William was an ageing moonshine runner who became known as 'Over the hill Billy'
Here in the U.S., old Senators don't die, they just go over the Hill.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FE80B7FA6-8CD7-4B91-8892-76FA88E1EC05-179-00000027A700DF2F.jpg&hash=cb166f4b74981d7bddf928136c10caae)
Capitol Hill, Washington, D.C.
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April 8, 2013 is:
Trading Cards for Grown-ups Day
http://www.wellcat.com/april/trading_cards_for_grown.htm
Baseball trading cards are expected to increase in $£ value right off the bat!
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What annoyed me was he would always liqu your plate after dinning.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F8674670B-2015-42FC-A416-E70DC3476CD6-179-0000005A6D8D05AF.jpg&hash=a7e2888e432d5a024f618c365318347e)
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was that a tongue in cheek remark, demo?
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It sure looks like it, JimBob.
Mighty perceptive!
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Here's a mighty perceptive.
Oh! Beg pardon, that was a mighty perspective.
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was that a tongue in cheek remark, demo?
It sure looks like it, JimBob.
Mighty perceptive!
Here's a mighty perceptive.
Oh! Beg pardon, that was a mighty perspective.
Old artists never die, they just put things in perspective.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FEE2A5162-EF68-4227-AA9A-99545E2B43FF-221-0000000E7075218E.jpg&hash=0d8c329f80455ef5492a45c888f1d38b)
Don_1, don't worry about running out of awards if you get too wordy. Our fortified fortress has one stored for every Punning Occasion!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F058220BD-755A-470A-BA09-7F7C95E6D29E-221-00000011AB616AA2.jpg&hash=0eb0fe32d01d28bbc8b1cfb0604c68ea)
One of the thousands of Award Rooms in the fortified fortress.
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Fitting? FITTING? FITTING!!! I can do that, gis a job.
Send your resume/application, with 14 copies to: Personnel Search Office,
Bra Fitting Awards, 14 Expansion Lane, Blighty, U.K.
We demand hands-on experience!
No theorists !!
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*Armchair philosophers, however, will be given secondary consideration.
*it's a gripping experience!
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Sounds like a most fulfilling job, if one has ability to handle the pressure. I would like to give it a try, I'm sure you'll be gla
nd you were brave enough to give me a try.
I, for my part, know that my cup shall runneth over, if her's does. And, of course, it will be done in the breast possible taste.
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Oh how I just love Boobies........
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.nationalgeographic.com%2Fwpf%2Fmedia-live%2Fphotos%2F000%2F004%2Fcache%2Fblue-footed-booby_473_600x450.jpg&hash=9ce66975b1220b2541a6a4fe186473f7)
Blue Footed Booby,
(National Geographic (http://animals.nationalgeographic.co.uk/animals/birds/blue-footed-booby/))
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You gotta be careful of corn at night. They can be early creepy with their husky voices and seedy appearance. Why, they even cob right out and tell you to shuck it right to your face.
... and it could be the butt of corny jokes
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You gotta be careful of corn at night. They can be early creepy with their husky voices and seedy appearance. Why, they even cob right out and tell you to shuck it right to your face.
... and it could be the butt of corny jokes
I am quite amaized that among the maze of puns here, you managed to find this niblet.
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See if you can find your way around this maze:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwuff.me.uk%2Fhoo%2520hill%2520maze%2Fnoj%2520maze%25201A.jpg&hash=8897fad088678c88a2f935c13b1c22c5)
Best wear good walking boots, or you might end up with a corn or blister.
That was a rather callous thing to say.
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Oh how I just love Boobies........
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.nationalgeographic.com%2Fwpf%2Fmedia-live%2Fphotos%2F000%2F004%2Fcache%2Fblue-footed-booby_473_600x450.jpg&hash=9ce66975b1220b2541a6a4fe186473f7)
Blue Footed Booby,
(National Geographic (http://www.tilleysvintagemagazines.com/gallery/76f6580b30f0923bafbe3ee08c53e950.JPG))
Errrrrrr.......Don_1.....are you SURE that is a link to National Geographic above??? (TRY it!)
<giggle>
<blush>
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You gotta be careful of corn at night. They can be early creepy with their husky voices and seedy appearance. Why, they even cob right out and tell you to shuck it right to your face.
... and it could be the butt of corny jokes
Corny jokes? I once heard a corny joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
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Oh how I just love Boobies........
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.nationalgeographic.com%2Fwpf%2Fmedia-live%2Fphotos%2F000%2F004%2Fcache%2Fblue-footed-booby_473_600x450.jpg&hash=9ce66975b1220b2541a6a4fe186473f7)
Blue Footed Booby,
(National Geographic (http://www.tilleysvintagemagazines.com/gallery/76f6580b30f0923bafbe3ee08c53e950.JPG))
Errrrrrr.......Don_1.....are you SURE that is a link to National Geographic above??? (TRY it!)
<giggle>
<blush>
Never mind a booby, I smell a rat!
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My podiatrist suggested I go to see a tree surgeon because I have a corn growng on my foot.
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What's next? Cornea puns???
(corn, cornear, corneast???)
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My podiatrist suggested I go to see a tree surgeon because I have a corn growng on my foot.
Corn dogs grow everywhere. Not just feet.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA7E8406E-335F-40CD-9521-AA1A7BD09BAF-289-0000001DBCDEF560.jpg&hash=4235e433ccb933938ef552dbf0679333)
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What's next? Cornea puns???
(corn, cornear, corneast???)
Damnation! You obviously saw that coming.
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My podiatrist suggested I go to see a tree surgeon because I have a corn growng on my foot.
Corn dogs grow everywhere. Not just feet.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA7E8406E-335F-40CD-9521-AA1A7BD09BAF-289-0000001DBCDEF560.jpg&hash=4235e433ccb933938ef552dbf0679333)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fedmullen.net%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley_mouth_taped_shut.gif&hash=b223dbfa4aa926771218dd57f863730e)
I was only going to say wh(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.zaazu.com%2Fimg%2Fmouthshut-mouth-shut-zip-zip-it-smiley-emoticon-000626-design.gif&hash=885a8caf188dd97c73cda5692c90e0c3)
OH! Come on, let me at least say wou(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi15.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa384%2Fthemarbleintheoatmeal%2Fsmilies%2Fbth_zipper.gif&hash=ce3ef2a385ff887c319024ae0cdab54e)
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Really! A comment there was irisistable. Socket to me!
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What's next? Cornea puns???
(corn, cornear, corneast???)
I can't help wondering if your doing OK here, or bit off more than you can chew.
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Anna (yep, she's back) was taught her scales by a Scottish voice coach. She was fine with doh, ra, me etc but had some trouble when it came to 'la'.
After just a few days McTavish said "Och you la just fine the noo".
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This is a good sight for punning. Vis you all join in.
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Cauliflower is good for soothing tired eyes. Just boil a floret in a cup of milk and bathe.
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I'm trying to reach my 6000th post. But have I made a rod for my own back? Or am I in conetension?
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Getting back to Anna, her voice coach declared "I'll mak you lar if its the last thing I do.
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YES!!! I'm nearly there, I'm at the brow of the hill.
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OK, what do I get for this my 6000th post?
Might it be an award, or might it be 6000 lashes?
If an award, can it be another caravan to add to my collection?
I do so love to amas caravans.
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Curses, all I seem to achieved is Neilep level membership.
Ah well, at least this will take the punning thread to 2870 posts. All I have to do is fit a pun in here somewhere, but eye really don't know where or how.
Just have to put a lid on it.
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I'm trying to reach my 6000th post. But have I made a rod for my own back? Or am I in conetension?
OK, what do I get for this my 6000th post?
Might it be an award, or might it be 6000 lashes?
If an award, can it be another caravan to add to my collection?
I do so love to amas caravans.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F616723C1-FA95-4830-8ED1-F84C6A5390E4-214-0000000E0FD3AFC3.jpg&hash=775711fb164207d92bfbb09b2c9fbf12)P O S T S by Don_1!!!!
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Curses, all I seem to achieved is Neilep level membership.
Ah well, at least this will take the punning thread to 2870 posts. All I have to do is fit a pun in here somewhere, but eye really don't know where or how.
Just have to put a lid on it.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F7B416C9C-97A0-4223-B954-5A960399D3B9-214-000000105D991B5D.jpg&hash=27979fd9b4f33e8d1278f23f3c650a96)
Doesn't Don_1 seem qualified/expert enough to answer "I lid" questions to anyone concerned? I vote yes.
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Getting back to Anna, her voice coach declared "I'll mak you lar if its the last thing I do.
How do we know if her voice coach (well known for his lusty inclinations) has degeneration on his mind?
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Demo, I really must warn you not to make a spectacle of yourself making accusations about McTavish. The last person to do so brought such shame upon the family matriarch that McTavish took him to court for bringing a stygma t' iz mother.
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My podiatrist suggested I go to see a tree surgeon because I have a corn growng on my foot.
What's next? Cornea puns???
(corn, cornear, corneast???)
Damnation! You obviously saw that coming.
Really! A comment there was irisistable. Socket to me!
What's next? Cornea puns???
(corn, cornear, corneast???)
I can't help wondering if your doing OK here, or bit off more than you can chew.
Anna (yep, she's back) was taught her scales by a Scottish voice coach. She was fine with doh, ra, me etc but had some trouble when it came to 'la'.
After just a few days McTavish said "Och you la just fine the noo".
This is a good sight for punning. Vis you all join in.
Cauliflower is good for soothing tired eyes. Just boil a floret in a cup of milk and bathe.
I'm trying to reach my 6000th post. But have I made a rod for my own back? Or am I in conetension?
YES!!! I'm nearly there, I'm at the brow of the hill.
OK, what do I get for this my 6000th post?
Might it be an award, or might it be 6000 lashes?
If an award, can it be another caravan to add to my collection?
I do so love to amas caravans.
Curses, all I seem to achieved is Neilep level membership.
Ah well, at least this will take the punning thread to 2870 posts. All I have to do is fit a pun in here somewhere, but eye really don't know where or how.
Just have to put a lid on it.
Demo, I really must warn you not to make a spectacle of yourself making accusations about McTavish. The last person to do so brought such shame upon the family matriarch that McTavish took him to court for bringing a stygma t' iz mother.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F3FF616EF-0DF2-483E-BBD1-B47D6CAA0A1D-364-0000002C181F51CE.jpg&hash=63a7274d22cb14d38bd11479d847248a)
Don_1, you most brilliantly OUTDID yourself on this eye-popping, eye-punning, eye-control of yours above!
Congatulations on your Spotlight on The Golden Eye Award!
http://vivamost.com/2012/09/spotlight-on-the-golden-eye-awards/
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Oh how I just love Boobies........
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.nationalgeographic.com%2Fwpf%2Fmedia-live%2Fphotos%2F000%2F004%2Fcache%2Fblue-footed-booby_473_600x450.jpg&hash=9ce66975b1220b2541a6a4fe186473f7)
Blue Footed Booby,
(National Geographic (http://www.tilleysvintagemagazines.com/gallery/76f6580b30f0923bafbe3ee08c53e950.JPG))
Errrrrrr.......Don_1.....are you SURE that is a link to National Geographic above??? (TRY it!)
<giggle>
<blush>
Never mind a booby, I smell a rat!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2F68B00F-D009-4971-9697-6D8681DACA71-865-0000006C73989FFD.jpg&hash=41fbe264629a30605cc10f8c7984afc9)
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Don_1, you most brilliantly OUTDID yourself on this eye-popping, eye-punning, eye-control of yours above!
Congatulations on your Spotlight on The Golden Eye Award!
http://vivamost.com/2012/09/spotlight-on-the-golden-eye-awards/
Aye aye Capt. Demo, Eye had to laugh at this.
Are you perchance the son of eyerish immigrants, or perhaps your ancestors came from a certain town in Cambridgeshire (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye,_Cambridgeshire). Maybe your ancestors were from Paris and had something to do with the eyefel tower.
I hope you are not offended by what I have suggested here, I should hate this post to be a flop, typical of some of my lesser posts.
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LOOK UP THERE!
A raptor hunting for food.
It must be a hawk, eye saw it first.
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I was asked which was my favourite Grand Master, Van Gough, Rubens, Constable......
I said I would have to opt for Titian.
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I came across a man with sponge and custard in one eye and fruit and jelly in the other, he said he was treyeful blind.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fichef.bbci.co.uk%2Fnaturelibrary%2Fimages%2Fic%2Fcredit%2F640x395%2Fa%2Fay%2Faye-aye%2Faye-aye_1.jpg&hash=40418fd19962d979ef9fda88c907cdf7)
Aye-aye (http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/life/Aye-aye)
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I went into my local phone shop for a new flashy mobile.
"Do you have any stereo phones?" I asked
"No" Came the reply
Oh well, I suppose I shal just have to make a mono call then.
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There are so many channels on the TV these days, but there is a great deal of tele scope for improvement.
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After removing some wallpaper for redecorating, the wife said "That wall will need re-plastering." My reply was, "Why? eye patch it up and it will be OK".
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Had an eye test the other day, "How far can you read down this?" asked the optician:
[ Invalid Attachment ]
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I was to have a secret liason with my mistress, but had slipped and twisted my ankle.
There was only one thing for it, I would have hop to me tryst.
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Our local baker is noted for his subleyeme stolens.
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My neighbour found a half chewed bird in his garden, "How do I get the truth out of my cats as to which one is the culprit?" he asked. I came up with a torturous solution, "Cat, a rack would be the solution".
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"I have a sure-fire way of knowing if an operation has been successful," said the surgeon, "after the op tickle the foot".
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Had an eye test the other day, "How far can you read down this?" asked the optician:
[ Invalid Attachment ]
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F6EC8A802-6B89-49CD-9404-CA8E5C035EC4-149-00000007AE1FA3CC.jpg&hash=31fb2e1186818bce6e3c40f46409a811)
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Had an eye test the other day, "How far can you read down this?" asked the optician:
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
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Are you perchance the son of eyerish immigrants, or perhaps your ancestors came from a certain town in Cambridgeshire (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye,_Cambridgeshire).
Eye am not, and no, theye didn't.
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My neighbour asked "Was that you eye sore watering the garden in the rain yesterday?" My response was, "Eye, watering? No you must be mistaken."
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When she was young, our daughter had a Cabbage Patch doll and a Tiny Tears doll, but it was Barbie that was her eyedol.
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Look, compacted snow on the road!
Eye see
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I felt very nervous when I went for my first ever job interveiw. The boss eyed me up and down.
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We were having a spot of trouble with our TV reception, so the wife watched the picture as I adjusted the aerial.
"No, that's no good........ that's even worse......... try it the other way....... Oh yes, now that's clera....... just a fraction more that way......... Cor oid leave it at that, if I were you."
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British Prime Minister, David Lloyd George, used to hate it when people greeted him with the words 'Hiya Lloyd.
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An alien looking around a clothing shop was puzzled by the garments.
"W-h-a-t i-s th-i-s?" he asked, the assistant said, "Its a shirt ET." "A-n-d w-h-a-t a-b-o-u-t th-i-s?" "Its a sock ET."
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It was a beautiful day yesterday, I sat in the sun, glasses of cola at hand.
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When we are done with these 'eye' puns, perhaps we should turn to puns on tea, coffee, fruit juice and water, we could do with a little aqueous humour. After all, we can't go on with 'eye' puns fo' evea. Mind you, they do make you laugh.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F61746283-33E8-416E-AE7B-0AFDB9B82D34-252-00000020FD70224B.jpg&hash=a24fd22bb127f76da6e6d7e2242156f8)
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E by gum! That's an eye openner, but there's no mention of the fovea, macular, suspensory ligament and aqueous humour, only the vitreous humour. E name all the parts please.
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Now I suppose you are going to tell me I've got a nerve and not bo be so sillary.
I shall go sit in the church to take my medication........ a pew pill.
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..... only the vitreous humour. E name all the parts please.
Does that give you a sinking feeling?
Oh! Look, I've got to the aqueous humour, a water related pun.
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I only worry about the eyesolation that all this focus on the "I" will bring to Punning Thread!
What if the moderators deem us insufficiently eyessimilated or eyecculturated to be merged in to Western forum socketciety???
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E by gum! That's an eye openner, but there's no mention of the fovea, macular, suspensory ligament and aqueous humour, only the vitreous humour. E name all the parts please.
Is this better?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FD0B9586F-88CC-4F3A-8BF9-96FDC7EFC887-252-000000CB6F64DBAF.jpg&hash=2e1c9f32b110a13c0d31782d2ac5d15f)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F58B6628A-4647-4679-9B83-5E6B7491EDF4-252-000000CCA35137BC.jpg&hash=934c3480ce2ee1002de9fa1140aadefa)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FBA278237-8195-403A-8811-26154A8EE23B-252-000000CE35EEB83E.jpg&hash=4915e4a77cfcf56992cdea53ec94e31b)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FCD2E3234-8E7B-4908-92F4-2F49F09F1C50-252-000000D073016069.jpg&hash=88dc11af9d1e759610e5975815477e20)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F659D9B81-108F-4B1A-88BF-E6A607D212D0-412-00000041933A45AC.jpg&hash=495cadc1356b747f1aabf33a3f9fee14)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FBA1B4667-6CD7-47F4-92C5-16458D08FEFA-286-000000238F51B15A.jpg&hash=1dbda3de3df605a7da4f78c93416a487)
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The Eye-Q test
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The Eye-Q test
It can certainly be a testing time when you have to Q to C an optician.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F659D9B81-108F-4B1A-88BF-E6A607D212D0-412-00000041933A45AC.jpg&hash=495cadc1356b747f1aabf33a3f9fee14)
No wonder that Latvian immigrant walked out of Specsavers in disgust.
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Is there an optician who offers non-invasive home operations and cares for the environment by using a push bike to visit his patients?
Yes, but he only has one eye himself, hence he practices under the trade name "Cycle Ops".
-
The Eye-Q test
It can certainly be a testing time when you have to Q to C an optician.
And it's most Nnoying to sit on your S in the waiting room forevear!
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what does the word campabella mean - kind of rings a bell
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what does the word campabella mean - kind of rings a bell
Is it this?
"Campobello is located in northwestern Spartanburg County. Before the Civil War the land was part of a large plantation owned by Joseph Davis. One day, as visitors were leaving on horseback, they stopped and looked back at the rolling farmland and someone in the group exclaimed, "Campa bella" meaning "beautiful field." Because it was such a fitting description, Davis adopted the Italian phrase as the name for his estate.
A room in Mr. Davis' home was designated as the area post office. The change from Campabella to Campobello probably occurred as a result of a postal clerk's poor handwriting."
http://www.sciway.net/city/campobello.html
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Had an eye test the other day, "How far can you read down this?" asked the optician:
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F5280BC02-07B5-43A7-AEE6-97C13F88A7E8-949-000000D73F7752BE.jpg&hash=2e8703efbc636446bc1399f2efd95b91)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F09E8D378-EF0F-4676-B1D9-4E1A0E7B4C67-128-0000000707FA83E7.jpg&hash=6f1417b5d3b4764518b454c2ccd699d5)
Eye contact is very important.
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what does the word campabella mean - kind of rings a bell
Is it an effeminate ding-dong?
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F09E8D378-EF0F-4676-B1D9-4E1A0E7B4C67-128-0000000707FA83E7.jpg&hash=6f1417b5d3b4764518b454c2ccd699d5)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fshocked%2Fvery-shocked-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=ac946223d720f60e1b5dc28d7195b472) What a wonderful pair of....... erm....... eyes?!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fhearts%2Flove-heart.gif&hash=d9d3e358894d9b7af32aa5845ae04184) I could play with look into them for hours!
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"I think I need glasses Doc."
"Really? Come over to the window. Now, look up there, tell me what you see."
"The Sun."
"So, just how bloody far do you want to see?"
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There is a village in Dorset where the folk all wear glasses.
The village mayor, Leonard is blind and has a guide dog. Asked about the dog's temperament, the mayor said "Len's a pet ure bound to love."
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If you want to refresh your wardrobe, you can always re-colour some older faded items. Never do this in the morning, as you will need to hang them out to dry after the sun has gone down. Its always best to dilate.
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what does the word campabella mean - kind of rings a bell
Doh! I finally "got it"!
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If you want to refresh your wardrobe, you can always re-colour some older faded items. Never do this in the morning, as you will need to hang them out to dry after the sun has gone down. Its always best to dilate.
Good lesson for this pupil!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fshocked%2Fvery-shocked-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=ac946223d720f60e1b5dc28d7195b472) What a wonderful pair of....... erm....... eyes?!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fhearts%2Flove-heart.gif&hash=d9d3e358894d9b7af32aa5845ae04184) I could play with look into them for hours!
I am skeptical. Answer only one question I have -- and
D O N ' T you dare sneak a peek at the previous page!
QUESTIONABLE QUESTION PUT TO DON_1: What color are her eyes?
You must reply without looking at "Eye Contact" woman who was dressed appropriately for her (last) interview with you!
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OK, I'll play along with you Demo and I promeyes not to take a sneak peak.
Eye, can de colour be mixed?
I must be honest, I didn't spend too much time looking into her eyes, its rude to stare. After a short while I let my eye drop to other features. I thought that might be a weyes move to make. T'is true I tell you, would I tell a leye
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I think I'll go to the Polar Cafe for lunch today. Their Oriental fruit and camembert entree is famous among polar explorers. Yes, they all love Leye cheese, in fact eyeseecallers on the horeyezon even now.
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OK, so I just looked at the picture again and still can't see the colour of her eyes. Something seems to be getting in the way. Well, a couple of things actually.
Yes, she might well be described as 'buxom'. That is in that she makes some bucks for displaying her attributes.
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OK, so I just looked at the picture again and still can't see the colour of her eyes. Something seems to be getting in the way. Well, a couple of things actually.
Yes, she might well be described as 'buxom'. That is in that she makes some bucks [double pun duly noted] for displaying her attributes.
No! No! No! I said to watch out for bugs on her photographs! Possible printing irregularities, you know!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fassignments.ds106.us%2Ffiles%2F2012%2F12%2Fsaint-300x200.gif&hash=c240c1813014f65ddd680c44c8612082)
*recent Demo photo
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Getting back to the tantaleyesing bint young lady with the fine pair of ti eyes, I promise, I have not looked at her eyes to give me a clue (no surpeyes there), were they brown?
I haven't a clue, I'd have to look...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F-PHE1mip9V6E%2FTRvEiy9CEbI%2FAAAAAAAABZc%2F5n5GzQYgUBM%2Fs1600%2Fwhoops.jpg&hash=493fb85fc9de2719a94aad09132aaaf4)
*HS = Don_1 High Sign
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OK, I'll play along with you Demo and I promeyes not to take a sneak peak.
This reminds me of the promeyes of some tailors I know: they're pure fabrication.
Eye, can de colour be mixed?
Those who eat can de with both hands are ambi-dextrose
I must be honest, I didn't spend too much time looking into her eyes, its rude to stare.
If you stared at her belly button too much, you'd be promoted demoted to Navel Officer.
After a short while I let my eye drop to other features. I thought that might be a weyes move to make. T'is true I tell you, would I tell a leye
You remind me of all the waterfowl who keep their eyes closed except for one. He is a Peking Duck.
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I think I'll go to the Polar Cafe for lunch today. Their Oriental fruit and camembert entree is famous among polar explorers. Yes, they all love Leye cheese, in fact eyeseecallers on the horeyezon even now.
I hope they're not connected to The Polar Bar. You once said, "Not the Alaskan Polar Bar! That's a real grizzly place. They only sell brown ale, you can't even get a Coca Koala there!"
Eye, for one, would not be pleased there.
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"I think I need glasses Doc."
"Really? Come over to the window. Now, look up there, tell me what you see."
"The Sun."
"So, just how bloody far do you want to see?"
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthumbs.dreamstime.com%2Fthumblarge_459%2F12603759365ZA8dl.jpg&hash=ad43240ec68f57745021c9fc5802dd03)
"Your invoice is in the mail!"
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[Dorset's] village mayor, Leonard is blind and has a guide dog. Asked about the dog's temperament, the mayor said "Len's a pet ure bound to love."
The mayor had trouble with the fine print on some of Dorset's village documents, so his doctor suggested contract lenses.
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I did notice she has a rather nice and somewhat revealing blouse on.
Don_1, try to expand your vocabulary from a merely generic English/American "blouse" to the more all-encompassing, intriguing, German-origin "platzbluse". Our audience is becoming more world-embracing!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FD1DEE8DB-063B-4050-AD47-063698986AA2-544-0000003D4A0D3D34.jpg&hash=add5ae0bdf3cd1d9bd6745f5484cb2b4)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FD1DEE8DB-063B-4050-AD47-063698986AA2-544-0000003D4A0D3D34.jpg&hash=add5ae0bdf3cd1d9bd6745f5484cb2b4)
Oh I say!!! What an ample young lady you are.
Now let Dr Don just check your heart. Hmmm....... Hmmmmmmm.... Opps, I've dropped my stethoscope, not much chance of finding it in here. Not so much a stethoscope I need right now as a periscope!
[ Invalid Attachment ]
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You remind me of all the waterfowl who keep their eyes closed except for one. He is a Peking Duck.
Well it was eider that or some other duck.
Man,d you're in good form today.
Just to qualify that pun:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2F8%2F85%2FAix_galericulata_-_Z%25C3%25BCrich_-_Hafen_Riesbach_2011-01-14_15-58-32.JPG%2F220px-Aix_galericulata_-_Z%25C3%25BCrich_-_Hafen_Riesbach_2011-01-14_15-58-32.JPG&hash=b2f21af627f159f44c07d6d720c7576d)
Mandarin Duck
See I can find pictures of pretty birds too!
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If you stared at her belly button too much, you'd be promoted demoted to Navel Officer.
I used to be an Ordinary $££^^&^ First Class. NO, NO, NO. I'm sorry, I'm just not going there!!!
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This reminds me of the promeyes of some tailors I know: they're pure fabrication.
What side do you dress sir?
Inside usually!
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Those who eat can de with both hands are ambi-dextrose
Hmm.... Let me see, I need a 'sugar' pun......
Let me see, there's dextrose, sucrose, fructose..... No, I'm not going there either!
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This reminds me of the promeyes of some tailors I know: they're pure fabrication.
I see you cottoned on to that old trick.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fassignments.ds106.us%2Ffiles%2F2012%2F12%2Fsaint-300x200.gif&hash=c240c1813014f65ddd680c44c8612082)
*recent Demo photo
McTavish has taken the day off of his training Anne to 'La' properly when practicing her scales, so I'm standing in for him.
So, aS i'mon Temp lar training, I can tell you that thiS aint quite all it appears.
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Halo all.
STREWTH, after concocting that one I thought 'that's a Rod you're making for your own back', I can't do any Moore.
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Man,d you're in good form today.
Yangtze very much!
Just to qualify that pun:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2F8%2F85%2FAix_galericulata_-_Z%25C3%25BCrich_-_Hafen_Riesbach_2011-01-14_15-58-32.JPG%2F220px-Aix_galericulata_-_Z%25C3%25BCrich_-_Hafen_Riesbach_2011-01-14_15-58-32.JPG&hash=b2f21af627f159f44c07d6d720c7576d)
Mandarin Duck
See I can find pictures of pretty birds too!
Yes, and mine flew the coup just as much as yours did!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fassignments.ds106.us%2Ffiles%2F2012%2F12%2Fsaint-300x200.gif&hash=c240c1813014f65ddd680c44c8612082)
*recent Demo photo
I can tell you that thiS aint quite all it appears.
Oh, I can tell you all quite assuredly that Don_1 is simply...slightly envious...of (1) my everlasting youth and (2) my most obvious deeply pious nature -- which he (or I!) shall never hope wish to attain.
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Hmm.... Let me see, I need a 'sugar' pun......
Let me see, there's dextrose, sucrose, fructose..... No, I'm not going there either!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FD14CDCE5-C5E5-4590-AFB2-D8914C10BB52-2269-000001145FFE1F6E.jpg&hash=609ca1239ca9ef9ada169ba808a20ae8)
I can't make funny scientific circles like Don_1 can (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FD0B9F5CE-8C18-4E43-8BB3-A9DE44C1CBBE-2269-000001198A50F662.jpg&hash=b49935e0a21807006530b8c4a110fb32) (around fructose).
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F99929556-F33A-454D-BAF4-C20A220260BE-2269-00000117423BF57E.jpg&hash=a9a88214b97edf6bd2970d2ec81b7581)
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Yangtze very much!
In Downtown LA the locals sing 'Yangtze doodle went to town, riding on a pony.....'
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........my most obvious deeply pious nature --
You're fooling nobody Demo, 'tis I who doth have the most deep pious nature.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.guim.co.uk%2Fsys-images%2FGuardian%2FPix%2Fpictures%2F2009%2F11%2F30%2F1259574905888%2FRaised-partridge-pie-001.jpg&hash=f7a027530b5f8de41aab75cb24d4d784)
Deep pie - game filled.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F99929556-F33A-454D-BAF4-C20A220260BE-2269-00000117423BF57E.jpg&hash=a9a88214b97edf6bd2970d2ec81b7581)
You talk to my metatarsals like that again......
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Its about time we had a tad more glamour around here.
That Demo is to blame, he got me started on this, I'm just trying to keep a breast of the time, like this young lady:-
[ Invalid Attachment ]
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No feeble imitations of the above image please. We don't want to be fobbed off with second hand pictures, so I'll be watching you. Offenders will set alarm bells ringing and be awristed and face a jail sentence from which there will be no escapement.
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........my most obvious deeply pious nature --
You're fooling nobody Demo, 'tis I who doth have the most deep pious nature.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.guim.co.uk%2Fsys-images%2FGuardian%2FPix%2Fpictures%2F2009%2F11%2F30%2F1259574905888%2FRaised-partridge-pie-001.jpg&hash=f7a027530b5f8de41aab75cb24d4d784)
Deep pie - game filled.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB638FAB1-FB84-46D2-A8A8-4CC3E3B45F08-333-00000014681717F1.jpg&hash=b8b220f354c00ac94bfebe3fa6b4aab6)
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Its about time we had a tad more glamour around here.
[ Invalid Attachment ]
Buxom nurse with fob watch.jpg (26.27 kB, 453x541)
No Bugs on nurse image detected. Please proceed with "more glands glamor", Don_1!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F99929556-F33A-454D-BAF4-C20A220260BE-2269-00000117423BF57E.jpg&hash=a9a88214b97edf6bd2970d2ec81b7581)
You talk to my metatarsals like that again......
Is this better?
"Hi..."
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F6D622976-49F9-4F58-B6BF-5D74539E0327-333-0000002C02D5FE3A.jpg&hash=74155f6a9a91a8462dd04e2c677dade0)
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But I certainly wasn't implying THIS!...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F127F43B1-0F50-468F-BC3E-F9F08632AEE0-101-000000045B92A934.jpg&hash=f53afa023e5af51300a684df8a9dd7b0)
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McTavish has taken the day off of his training Anne to 'La' properly when practicing her scales, so I'm standing in for him.
About time. We're getting impatient with the quality of Anne's 'la's'.
At least that was the case the la'st time we heard her sing Do-Re-Mi-Fa-So-??-Ti-Do!
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Had an eye test the other day, "How far can you read down this?" asked the optician:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F96432697-B157-46CF-84AA-0A147D5ADDA7-496-000000318FFEBF9B.jpg&hash=53dad83c97406d32b74dfd60682ac297)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F1E7CFC21-5311-4B7D-9FC7-CA942C7B3D2F-496-0000003029B5BA98.jpg&hash=80f817bd1fe9a40c4c92cf71b008061c)
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Oh my !!! Demo is stigmatatizied
no Mont Python, no less (Meaning of Li....... )
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Oh my !!! Demo is stigmatatizied
no Mont Python, no less (Meaning of Li....... )
Optometry students need to be devoted, much like the Catholic saints. Are you too willing to experience a stigmata-ism?
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/3903120128/h8614F675/)
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But I certainly wasn't implying THIS!...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F127F43B1-0F50-468F-BC3E-F9F08632AEE0-101-000000045B92A934.jpg&hash=f53afa023e5af51300a684df8a9dd7b0)
Ah yes, a hideous condition of the foot caused by excessive driving called car rot.
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Oh my !!! Demo is stigmatatizied
no Mont Python, no less (Meaning of Li....... )
Demo is like some other people when he feels unwell, doesn't want to see or speak to anyone.
No matter whether it is a respiratory, gastric or optical ill, u shun everybody.
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Oh my !!! Demo is stigmatatizied
no Mont Python, no less (Meaning of Li....... )
Optometry students need to be devoted, much like the Catholic saints. Are you too willing to experience a stigmata-ism?
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/3903120128/h8614F675/)
Well, if that's Stigmata, this must be........
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholic.org%2Fimages%2Fsaints%2Fstigmata%2F9.jpg&hash=95a7a3bfa1bb53e3c3ac8debd6c77897)
STIGVATER.
Tch, tch, tch, these catholics, into crossdressing too!
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'Just call me angle* of the morning'.
*No, that wasn't a misspelling.
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I do quite like a spot of the traditional old English fish & chips once in a while. Sometimes I will stig 'mata sauce on the plate to dip my chips into.
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Those of you who are familiar with the BBC's motoring magazine 'Top Gear', will know that racing and stunt car driver Ben Collins, blew his cover after his mother was seen giving him his packed lunch while on set for a take on the performance of a new sports car. It was obvious when someone announced 'the stig's mata.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2F7%2F75%2FThe_Stig_British_International_Motor_Show_.jpg%2F220px-The_Stig_British_International_Motor_Show_.jpg&hash=f02987da4d48e49277d8107055ea8d77)
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I used to have 105mm f2.8 macro Stigmata.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.simplyelectronics.net%2Fimages%2Fproducts%2FSigma%2520MACRO%2520105mm%2520F2.8%2520EX%2520DG%2520OS%2520HSM%2520%28Canon%2520Fit%29.jpg&hash=a855c1c85194d4de951bdb901c3a61ba)
But I now have a 105mm f2.8 micro Nikkor.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wexphotographic.com%2Fwebcontent%2Fproduct_images%2Fthumbnails%2F168%2F1012423.gif&hash=5ec7c2ef6c59f75147263f7daa564bfc)
Though it's a much better lens, its no good for this pun.
-
But I certainly wasn't implying THIS!...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F127F43B1-0F50-468F-BC3E-F9F08632AEE0-101-000000045B92A934.jpg&hash=f53afa023e5af51300a684df8a9dd7b0)
Ah yes, a hideous condition of the foot caused by excessive driving called car rot.
...a condition of the foot sadly exacerbated by an often fatal sudden acceleryation of the car rot.
-
I used to have 105mm f2.8 macro Stigmata.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.simplyelectronics.net%2Fimages%2Fproducts%2FSigma%2520MACRO%2520105mm%2520F2.8%2520EX%2520DG%2520OS%2520HSM%2520%28Canon%2520Fit%29.jpg&hash=a855c1c85194d4de951bdb901c3a61ba)
But I now have a 105mm f2.8 micro Nikkor.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wexphotographic.com%2Fwebcontent%2Fproduct_images%2Fthumbnails%2F168%2F1012423.gif&hash=5ec7c2ef6c59f75147263f7daa564bfc)
Though it's a much better lens, its no good for this pun.
But it keeps the eye on the ball lens.
-
No matter whether it is a respiratory, gastric or optical ill, u shun everybody.
At a job interview, I decided to lie and say I had experience as an illusionist and as a window cleaner.
They saw right through me.
-
I do quite like a spot of the traditional old English fish & chips once in a while.
I once had fish & chips every day for a year.
My stomach took a battering.
-
Oh my !!! Demo is stigmatatizied
no Mont Python, no less (Meaning of Li....... )
Optometry students need to be devoted, much like the Catholic saints. Are you too willing to experience a stigmata-ism?
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/3903120128/h8614F675/)
Well, if that's Stigmata, this must be........
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholic.org%2Fimages%2Fsaints%2Fstigmata%2F9.jpg&hash=95a7a3bfa1bb53e3c3ac8debd6c77897)
STIGVATER.
Tch, tch, tch, these catholics, into crossdressing too!
Looks more like a Drama Queen to me!
-
Dame It Captin, I'm givvin herr all shes got - scotty
-
Dame It Captin, I'm givvin herr all shes got - scotty
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F6256428E-BA5B-4F93-B778-5A7B7712D824-1206-000000BC3D307BA5.jpg&hash=6d9dc592b5693c294fd10f2362136719)
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I do quite like a spot of the traditional old English fish & chips once in a while.
I once had fish & chips every day for a year.
My stomach took a battering.
A fisherman hated (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.galaxyneonsigns.com%2Fimages%2FAN%2FLED-Animation%2F25401-25598%2F25498.gif&hash=aa2b8e0fb836f5a5bd70ab41537abeb2) but he didn't tell a sole.
-
I was asked which was my favourite Grand Master, Van Gogh, Rubens, Constable......
I said I would have to opt for Titian.
The ophthalmologist was called to testify because he was the only eye witness.
-
ALL HE SAID WAS - AYE MATE
-
Yes, but how can AYE make sure????
-
A fisherman hated (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.galaxyneonsigns.com%2Fimages%2FAN%2FLED-Animation%2F25401-25598%2F25498.gif&hash=aa2b8e0fb836f5a5bd70ab41537abeb2) but he didn't tell a sole.
That's the thing about fishermen, they know their plaice.
I gave a loan shark a rather unwell cephalopod today. "What's this?" he enquired, I said "Its that six quid I owe you".
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F_aWflL2jDpWU%2FSXNXb0aMSCI%2FAAAAAAAADmA%2Fc-0MwUcMjhs%2Fs400%2Floan-shark.jpg&hash=43152ed27fcc262a8ef3ab106beb8fb0)
THAT loan shark? Mr. I. C. Usury! I worked with him too!
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fichef.bbci.co.uk%2Fnaturelibrary%2Fimages%2Fic%2Fcredit%2F640x395%2Fa%2Fay%2Faye-aye%2Faye-aye_1.jpg&hash=40418fd19962d979ef9fda88c907cdf7)
Aye-aye (http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/life/Aye-aye)
Looks cute. I bet not costly to acquire. But maintenance diet? I'll go broke, because everything it sees to eat, it will scream, "AYE AYE!" and I will have to buy it!!!
-
Aye, captain, the warp drive is acting up.
Aye, scotty, so 'tis - the little LEMURIAN
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Aye, captain, the warp drive is acting up.
Aye, scotty, so 'tis - the little LEMURIAN
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FEB6829DD-5704-4300-B0FA-56B71B12EA87-401-0000001A71CD2924.jpg&hash=96e9c08591e99d14fd3263762ae4021c)
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That land 'tis a strange place.
"You will find there a strange species of Lemur", Ian said.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fichef.bbci.co.uk%2Fnaturelibrary%2Fimages%2Fic%2Fcredit%2F640x395%2Fa%2Fay%2Faye-aye%2Faye-aye_1.jpg&hash=40418fd19962d979ef9fda88c907cdf7)
Aye-aye (http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/life/Aye-aye)
Looks cute. I bet not costly to acquire. But maintenance diet? I'll go broke, because everything it sees to eat, it will scream, "AYE AYE!" and I will have to buy it!!!
Indeed, when it comes to its diet, its a right little bugger.
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[The Aye-Aye] looks cute. I bet not costly to acquire. But maintenance diet? I'll go broke, because everything it sees to eat, it will scream, "AYE AYE!" and I will have to buy it!!!
Indeed, when it comes to its diet, its a right little bugger.
Bugs have very diverse religious views, because they are all in sects.
-
........ all in sects.
Back in the 60's a group of miniskirted young lovelies ask me if I wanted to join their sects.
When I went along one night, I felt such a fool when they explained all about their sects, especially since I had come with a lifetime supply of condoms.
-
How did you fit all those flats into your truck??????????
-
........ all in sects.
Back in the 60's a group of miniskirted young lovelies ask me if I wanted to join their sects.
When I went along one night, I felt such a fool when they explained all about their sects, especially since I had come with a lifetime supply of condoms.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F3F03493C-86D2-4E17-94F1-FD8866C6A3AB-401-000000A29109F6EA.jpg&hash=19300892437f592ffd5b57ef7cb7f156)
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How did you fit all those flats into your truck??????????
First, he needs an authorized statement shown on his truck:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F568F812C-9DBC-4A05-BE73-8229A5F3C773-401-000000AB9CC95639.jpg&hash=8c6252ec2fb2a26147653c30d0d5a000)
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Today, May 12, 2013, is:
Mother's Day!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2EE210A4-B3BE-47C8-A7D1-6D7F90FE1963-155-0000000672141243.jpg&hash=9a1090cde8fa347ccd1b2c8746ea9af0)
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• He didn't tell his mother that he ate some glue. His lips were sealed.
• Two brothers fought over some sheet music but their mother wanted to keep the piece.
-
LAST ONE ABOVE ---
HUH - WHAT ?????????
-
PS
use of this causes infertility AND THUS NO MOTHERS FOR THIS PARTICULAR SUNDAY IN THE US: MOTHER'S DAY Happy day, Muthas
-
• He didn't tell his mother that he ate some glue. His lips were sealed.
• Two brothers fought over some sheet music but their mother wanted to keep the piece.
LAST ONE ABOVE ---
HUH - WHAT ?????????
Mother puns for Mother's Day.
-
homemade pickle wanna-be's if set at room temperature develop a white substance similar in most respects to smegma. The white pickle jar substance is called mother if it is in the pickle jar. Just don't eat it. ==
The Darts side board: Pickels hard boiled eggs, beer or stout, salted nuts..
All this made possible by the action of the mother on the pickles.......
thanks MOM MUTHAH
-
It's being on the pickle that makes mother.
-
It's being on the pickle that makes mother.
I wanted a career with a big hamburger chain but I got into a pickle when I couldn't cut the mustard.
-
How did you fit all those flats into your truck??????????
I was taken hook, line & sinker by some tricksters. They sold me the freehold on the flats.
It was only later that I discovered it was a con, dominian over the properties was already held by the tenants.
-
•
.....some sheet music ............
I didn't think it was that bad.
Sheet music (http://www.ishitmusic.com/)
-
•
.....some sheet music ............
I didn't think it was that bad.
Sheet music (http://www.ishitmusic.com/)
Perhaps they've got it wrong, Don_1, it's "ass backwards" as we say here!
-
We Americans do have a great cultural asset do we not?
-
•
.....some sheet music ............
I didn't think it was that bad.
Sheet music (http://www.ishitmusic.com/)
Perhaps they've got it wrong, Don_1, it's "ass backwards" as we say here!
We Americans do have a great cultural asset do we not?
A criminal's best asset is his lie ability.
-
May 13 - May 17, 2013 is:
National Etiquette Week
Hiring a prostitute has its own etiquette.
Be sure to follow the pro to call.
-
May 13 - May 17, 2013 is:
National Etiquette Week
It is always my custom to eat in the manners pertaining to the local, so it is that when eating apples I always de core 'em first.
-
May 13 - May 17, 2013 is:
National Etiquette Week
Hiring a prostitute has its own etiquette.
Be sure to follow the pro to call.
Be sure, when following a pro to call that you don't get arrested for kirb crawling.
-
When it comes to the classical arts, we quite enjoy ballet, we think it a good mode us. Opera 'nd I, however do not get on well together.
-
Right, that set a target for you Demo, a Latin pun! Beat that.
And don't be late in coming up with your response.
-
When it comes to the classical arts, we quite enjoy ballet, we think it a good mode us. Opera 'nd I, however do not get on well together.
Right, that set a target for you Demo, a Latin pun! Beat that.
And don't be late in coming up with your response.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F6924DB45-5530-4A88-BAA7-90FDF80A048A-171-00000008B7D5E956.jpg&hash=63b91d406260eaff9d9c19705b651700)
...proving that we don't need to be in Rome to speak as the Romans did.
by NO AUTHOR CREDITED
"Have you ever wanted to know how to converse in Latin just like the Romans did (without having to face the dangers of chariot racing)? When the kids are driving you crazy in the back seat of your car with that familiar phrase ... 'are we nearly there yet?', you can reply with grace and aplomb ... "Paene advenimus", or really impress the marvelous munchkins with your unforgettable wise words "Relinque me in pace!" (Leave me in peace!)"
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FCAB87119-99D6-452F-AC2E-DE3670361543-117-0000000645FAC7A5.jpg&hash=a4068692356de8e578594868d08bce47)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F43F5CCFD-FFBB-4DB0-A2BF-89BB5EE00AAA-117-00000007E612AB50.jpg&hash=568599e1a3687b487ae7da29d61fb6a2)
"Apudne te vel me?" -- Your place or mine?
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FD7C4E4F3-96D2-4BD8-8BDA-9681722B5C00-117-0000006EF86E0410.jpg&hash=4e675f4ec7232888864df02f02320210)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F43F5CCFD-FFBB-4DB0-A2BF-89BB5EE00AAA-117-00000007E612AB50.jpg&hash=568599e1a3687b487ae7da29d61fb6a2)
"Apudne te vel me?" -- Your place or mine?
You have to marble marvel at this work of art.
In a modern copy made of concrete, they are depicted as having cemented their relationship.
-
At Roman games, cannibalism was sometimes witnessed. After consuming a young christian virgin the diner said he was glad he ate her.
-
Ut quicquam paradisi advolare naribus tuis.
May the Bluebird of Paradise fly up your nose.
-
A couple of thousand years ago an ancestor of Anne (also named Ann) had the same problem with her scales, she just couldn't 'La' quite right. Ignatius was a well known vocal coach who gave her some training, but it seems to no availe.
One day she was caught making an awful noise as she practiced her scales before performing for the Emperor. "Call Ig, you La terrible." said a disgruntled senator.
-
A favourite weapon of some gladiators was the talons of birds of prey.
Christians who were about to die by this terrible means were made to stand in the arena
and announce to the Emperor, "By claw die us this day".
-
A Centurion was bringing a young christian virgin slave for duties in the royal household. As she broke free of his grip and made a run for freedom, the Centurion called to the Emperor Augustus "Seize her!"
-
I was looking at some motor scooters when a salesman said, "Hello Sir, my name is Ian, is there anything I can help you with?"
I said, "Yes, actually there is, I have looked at the Lambrettas and the Peugeots, but where are the Vespas Ian?"
I must confess that hadr Ian not helped me I would never have found them. But then that is what salesmen are for, to server us.
He offered me a drink and asked if I wanted anything to eat. I said, "I wouldn't mind a cup of tea and a gord, Ian."
A pestering wasp was flying around my gourd, so Ian set about it with no concern for getting himself stung. At last the wasp fell to the ground. I exclaimed "By Jove Ian, you handled the situation with great Valer Ian."
He had dropped the magazine he had used to deal the fatal blow to the wasp, so I picked it up, handed it to him and asked, "Is this your Maxim Ian?"
Ian then said he would take me to the Vespas, saying, "There're not far, in fact they are quite nero."
One must always ceaser the opportunity to link one's puns.
-
The senator said to his wife, "Its no good, we'll not get the money for this project, the Emperor's tit as as ducks ass."
-
Here endeth the puns for now, but I shall be roman around looking for more.
-
A couple of thousand years ago an ancestor of Anne (also named Ann) had the same problem with her scales, she just couldn't 'La' quite right. Ignatius was a well known vocal coach who gave her some training, but it seems to no availe.
One day she was caught making an awful noise as she practiced her scales before performing for the Emperor. "Call Ig, you La terrible." said a disgruntled senator.
Herewith: Ann's "La" captured (simulated) by Hollywood Pet Food Actress, Beyonce II, in this amazing News Flash from The Guardian!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC9641615-8C1A-43A8-AC8A-840AD487AE3F-147-0000000AE2C5829A.jpg&hash=69fc4390293fdf986a7a2d6fe23fbb6b)
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F43F5CCFD-FFBB-4DB0-A2BF-89BB5EE00AAA-117-00000007E612AB50.jpg&hash=568599e1a3687b487ae7da29d61fb6a2)
"Apudne te vel me?" -- Your place or mine?
You have to marble marvel at this work of art.
In a modern copy made of concrete, they are depicted as having cemented their relationship.
At Roman games, cannibalism was sometimes witnessed. After consuming a young christian virgin the diner said he was glad he ate her.
Ut quicquam paradisi advolare naribus tuis.
May the Bluebird of Paradise fly up your nose.
A couple of thousand years ago an ancestor of Anne (also named Ann) had the same problem with her scales, she just couldn't 'La' quite right. Ignatius was a well known vocal coach who gave her some training, but it seems to no availe.
One day she was caught making an awful noise as she practiced her scales before performing for the Emperor. "Call Ig, you La terrible." said a disgruntled senator.
A favourite weapon of some gladiators was the talons of birds of prey.
Christians who were about to die by this terrible means were made to stand in the arena
and announce to the Emperor, "By claw die us this day".
A Centurion was bringing a young christian virgin slave for duties in the royal household. As she broke free of his grip and made a run for freedom, the Centurion called to the Emperor Augustus "Seize her!"
I was looking at some motor scooters when a salesman said, "Hello Sir, my name is Ian, is there anything I can help you with?"
I said, "Yes, actually there is, I have looked at the Lambrettas and the Peugeots, but where are the Vespas Ian?"
I must confess that hadr Ian not helped me I would never have found them. But then that is what salesmen are for, to server us.
He offered me a drink and asked if I wanted anything to eat. I said, "I wouldn't mind a cup of tea and a gord, Ian."
A pestering wasp was flying around my gourd, so Ian set about it with no concern for getting himself stung. At last the wasp fell to the ground. I exclaimed "By Jove Ian, you handled the situation with great Valer Ian."
He had dropped the magazine he had used to deal the fatal blow to the wasp, so I picked it up, handed it to him and asked, "Is this your Maxim Ian?"
Ian then said he would take me to the Vespas, saying, "There're not far, in fact they are quite nero."
One must always ceaser the opportunity to link one's puns.
The senator said to his wife, "Its no good, we'll not get the money for this project, the Emperor's tit as as ducks ass."
Here endeth the puns for now, but I shall be roman around looking for more.
= = = = = = = = = = =
Don_1 handily wins this Punning Award: a round-trip, all-expenses-paid Gladiator's Special Punning Tour of the Roman Empire! Sponsored by Jules Verne Aviation, LLC and First Class seating accomodations with Epsilon Airlines (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB83B5D01-04B1-4513-A2DE-152531307F56-623-0000005DF456EC24.jpg&hash=0531f87da2378ce0c51f6cafce2424ec)
You will stay at the luxurious Mabor Hotel (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F50562AA7-1DD6-4E3A-BABD-C66A14B7C98E-623-00000061C9299F7D.jpg&hash=47c7b331c1c9c67df31febf85c0dbca0)
Don't forget to BYOTGAOP (Bring Your Own Toga, Grapes and Orgy Partners).
BYOTGAOP Budgetary issue: see Awards Committee
= = = = = = = = = = =
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F6804960D-0C16-4B68-A1D7-0C9FFF1B76B2-253-00000014A1CE0BDD.jpg&hash=2ba1cf1e81e648b4028ce5358bb4f20c)
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Ian then said he would take me to the Vespas, saying, "There're not far, in fact they are quite nero."
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2F5DC83E-3310-48F1-A08E-830CB4504D4D-317-0000001E632E9B17.jpg&hash=58665167220634815832f6c465ebbdbd)
-
Here endeth the puns for now, but I shall be roman around looking for more.
The ancient Romans only gathered once a week, because that was enough forum.
-
A couple of thousand years ago an ancestor of Anne (also named Ann) had the same problem with her scales, she just couldn't 'La' quite right. Ignatius was a well known vocal coach who gave her some training, but it seems to no availe.
One day she was caught making an awful noise as she practiced her scales before performing for the Emperor. "Call Ig, you La terrible." said a disgruntled senator.
Herewith: Ann's "La" captured (simulated) by Hollywood Pet Food Actress, Beyonce II, in this amazing News Flash from The Guardian!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC9641615-8C1A-43A8-AC8A-840AD487AE3F-147-0000000AE2C5829A.jpg&hash=69fc4390293fdf986a7a2d6fe23fbb6b)
Full credit and thanks to Don_1 for circling the "LA" for me!
-
Full credit and thanks to Don_1 for circling the "LA" for me!
I had always intended on being capable of this and this only. Some say its la ment able.
-
Here endeth the puns for now, but I shall be roman around looking for more.
The ancient Romans only gathered once a week, because that was enough forum.
I had hoped to see many such meetings, but I have seen at once.
-
Full credit and thanks to Don_1 for circling the "LA" for me!
I had always intended on being capable of this and this only. Some say its la ment able.
I think that the la was simply ment to be performed by able bodied women with good voice range.
-
Come on people, get it right!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB26761C2-5B94-4998-A135-F90B2A0803F1-427-0000003C5A8D7A27.jpg&hash=8e142642c920cd53934dbe225b31de62)
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Here endeth the puns for now, but I shall be roman around looking for more.
The ancient Romans only gathered once a week, because that was enough forum.
I had hoped to see many such meetings, but I have seen at once.
When Caesar entered the Senate all hail broke loose.
-
May 13 - May 17, 2013 is:
National Etiquette Week
It is always my custom to eat in the manners pertaining to the local, so it is that when eating apples I always de core 'em first.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F5B4BD144-2EC7-4409-B126-713668DF40C3-427-00000043EF99E1C8.jpg&hash=39ea0f9c34a16da51239e3c9b45e721f)
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Today, May 20, 2013, is:
Weights & Measures Day!
Weight loss mantra? Fat chants!
A king measures his line with a ruler.
-
Tut, Tut, why do we always hear about the rul'er? Why not the rul'im?
-
It's nice that we both have Tut in khommon.
-
Tut, Tut, why do we always hear about the rul'er? Why not the rul'im?
Because the rul'im class doesn't want publicity.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F50755BBB-8DC1-4364-A0A8-20F9566A6F28-368-00000030109E20AC.jpg&hash=1310087d27d4600caeb7d52d11bb1f70)
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Ut quicquam paradisi advolare naribus tuis.
May the Bluebird of Paradise fly up your nose.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F997B6EB8-B2CA-4695-8845-82D662A46589-219-0000000E8D5A7CF6.jpg&hash=258a7338c7e503dc1e1cbeddecb0bd3a)
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At Roman games, cannibalism was sometimes witnessed. After consuming a young christian virgin the diner said he was glad he ate her.
But he was still hungry, so he had some nice Roman cheese for dessert!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFAC2F947-9ECD-4AFE-A7C3-115ED89384EB-219-0000001208F2E015.jpg&hash=80be0132010d6d368cb2f271f8eb1630)
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At Roman games, cannibalism was sometimes witnessed. After consuming a young christian virgin the diner said he was glad he ate her.
Are you lion?
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At Roman games, cannibalism was sometimes witnessed. After consuming a young christian virgin the diner said he was glad he ate her.
Are you lion?
You can't trust a tiger. You never know when HE might be lion.
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Yes, he might have a hidden claws in his coliseum contract.
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Just paws for a sec and consider the mane point. More pride should be taken in roar talont.
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When the film festival buff was recommended a movie by his friend he retorted "at Carn I've oready seen it!"
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When the film festival buff was recommended a movie by his friend he retorted "at Carn [sic] I've already seen it!"
Don't worry, things Cannes only get better.
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..."at Carn I've oready seen it!"
African carnivores mainly eat fast food.
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Yes, he might have a hidden claws in his coliseum contract.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F70DFF3F2-EC9E-40F3-BE03-92252C37C704-453-000000224075DE58.jpg&hash=fc5834ffdf24089e6c37d266207bdca1)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F51358047-8A27-4A03-9440-53DD423D5BBB-453-000000225F79619C.jpg&hash=25170395ae41d0018e4b278168e64861)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F97C23671-FEE8-40A2-AFB3-7EE69DCFA681-453-00000023FE644879.jpg&hash=bd5de31f49f74fc52fe9ec82011e83c6)
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Just paws for a sec and consider the mane point. More pride should be taken in roar talont.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FF8C5363B-F231-4AA9-8E3F-FD1308CC2111-250-000000183FD5D61C-1.jpg&hash=38758fecb751621f72008fa45117eaee)
Siberian tigers show off roar talent in football.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFD122489-C1FC-4CA8-A0CD-46C865C6877B-250-000000187D8D72A8.jpg&hash=e35626beb06a69be7f7a59f4733c5c10)
Roar talent@LionessOfficial on Twitter
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..."at Carn I've oready seen it!"
African carnivores mainly eat fast food.
Odd, I thought carnivores ate road kill. But I won't be truckulent about it.
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To avoid becoming another road kill statistic, wild animals must dodge the traffic.
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Contrary to popular belief, the motor vehicle was concieved in the early days of the Vatican City.
I cite this in support of my claim:-
Jesus want's me for a sunbeam, all pine for me.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbringatrailer.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F01%2F1966_Sunbeam_Alpine_Tiger_V8_Conversion_Roadster_For_Sale_Front_1.jpg&hash=37c512e6694e688ebfd58adce5caff08)
Sunbeam Alpine.
It was in 15th c England that the conception came to fruition.
In support of this claim I cite Cardinal Wolsey
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fa%2Fa4%2FWolsey.jpg&hash=8327cfdcb78a53e839f65042602ab222)
Cardinal Wolsey
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2F3%2F37%2FWolseley_16-60_front.jpg%2F280px-Wolseley_16-60_front.jpg&hash=5f878dbc80ba38a5e290ffa000e7bd3e)
Cardinal Wolseley 15/60
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Edward had sold me a right lemon, so I took it back to him and said "Ed, sell me another."
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fa%2Faa%2F1958_Corsair_Daten.jpg%2F280px-1958_Corsair_Daten.jpg&hash=c910ebd111a7e7cc7e7c34ae6aaf7561)
Edsel - what a lemon!
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..."at Carn I've oready seen it!"
African carnivores mainly eat fast food.
Odd, I thought carnivores ate road kill. But I won't be truckulent about it.
To avoid becoming another road kill statistic, wild animals must dodge the traffic.
Contrary to popular belief, the motor vehicle was concieved in the early days of the Vatican City.
I cite this in support of my claim:-
Jesus want's me for a sunbeam, all pine for me.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbringatrailer.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F01%2F1966_Sunbeam_Alpine_Tiger_V8_Conversion_Roadster_For_Sale_Front_1.jpg&hash=37c512e6694e688ebfd58adce5caff08)
Sunbeam Alpine.
It was in 15th c England that the conception came to fruition.
In support of this claim I cite Cardinal Wolsey
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fa%2Fa4%2FWolsey.jpg&hash=8327cfdcb78a53e839f65042602ab222)
Cardinal Wolsey
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2F3%2F37%2FWolseley_16-60_front.jpg%2F280px-Wolseley_16-60_front.jpg&hash=5f878dbc80ba38a5e290ffa000e7bd3e)
Cardinal Wolseley 15/60
Edward had sold me a right lemon, so I took it back to him and said "Ed, sell me another."
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fa%2Faa%2F1958_Corsair_Daten.jpg%2F280px-1958_Corsair_Daten.jpg&hash=c910ebd111a7e7cc7e7c34ae6aaf7561)
Edsel - what a lemon!
..."at Carn I've oready seen it!"
African carnivores mainly eat fast food.
Odd, I thought carnivores ate road kill. But I won't be truckulent about it.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F85A0CA0E-A5CD-4196-9A36-BCC3EAF32B9C-131-00000002EDB36C84.jpg&hash=ab903da0df4e2612875b72ff632bbc6e)
Very funny, Don_1! [:)]
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Besides, you are a thoughtful and caring man.
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Contrary to popular belief, the motor vehicle was concieved in the early days of the Vatican City.
I cite this in support of my claim:-
Jesus want's me for a sunbeam, all pine for me.
It was in 15th c England that the conception came to fruition.
In support of this claim I cite Cardinal Wolsey
So THAT's how this company started!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FD9DCEB3C-D03E-4168-9963-C3D306F599B2-131-00000052B964C071.jpg&hash=03f471af65aacd449af485962bc47354)
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It now seems that trucks were around before cars. The first, around 2000 yrs ago, was the idea of a bunch of lads who followed a gang leader by the name of Jesus, causing trouble in the Roman colony of Palestine. Though they all had a hand in the design, Peter bilt it. It was painted white, but had no glass, so the driver had to wear a mack. Perhaps they weren't so daft as we thought. With no glass to get dirty, it was easy to scania the road ahead. At the launch of this vehicle, man sized volvo vants and artic rolls were served. But it was not a good seller because few could afford to buy one. Ken, worth a lot of money, was one of the few, as was Dennis, though being a big man, he found it did not give him much elbow room.
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"Sic transit gloria mundi", as those Romans used to say.
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Speaking of Gloria, I'm sure you are all wondering when the next bit of eye candy will be coming along. Well, wonder and wait no more..... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYGQskpYBKU (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYGQskpYBKU)
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Speaking of Gloria, I'm sure you are all wondering when the next bit of eye candy will be coming along. Well, wonder and wait no more..... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYGQskpYBKU (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYGQskpYBKU)
Oh, Don_1, come on, people are just not that patient! You must at least give people a teaser -- a sneak preview -- before they click on YouTube!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F24.media.tumblr.com%2Ftumblr_lwf9n4y7Fx1r4ya7po1_1324249854_cover.jpg&hash=307e3cbb85deb88159cc4eed8d87336f)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1.ytimg.com%2Fvi%2F8KDdDMR0VxM%2Fhqdefault.jpg&hash=fdf672c95bded4dac781def099166756)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1.ytimg.com%2Fvi%2F8KDdDMR0VxM%2Fhqdefault.jpg&hash=fdf672c95bded4dac781def099166756)
Stone the crows! I don't remember Ginger Rogers like this in 'Singing in the Rain'. No doubt Fred Astair must have felt quite elevated at this site.
You may now escalate or otherwise lift this post to a new level.
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Stone the crows! I don't remember Ginger Rogers like this (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1.ytimg.com%2Fvi%2F8KDdDMR0VxM%2Fhqdefault.jpg&hash=fdf672c95bded4dac781def099166756) in 'Singing in the Rain'. No doubt Fred Astaire must have felt quite elevated at this site.
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/2749379072/hF1A6741F/)
We must update Ginger Rogers Singing' graphics!
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........ must have felt quite elevated at this site. XXXXXXXXXXXXX Score F minus.
Well, I feel ashamed. Look at that spelling.
I shall send myself to the bottom of the class. Write one hundred lines of:
"I cite my poor spelling of the notice outside the building site as a sight for sore eyes."
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........ must have felt quite elevated at this site. XXXXXXXXXXXXX Score F minus.
Well, I feel ashamed. Look at that spelling.
I shall send myself to the bottom of the class. Write one hundred lines of:
"I cite my poor spelling of the notice outside the building site as a [edit] sight site for sore eyes."
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Starts In Only 2 more days!
June 9-16 (Week That has the 12th In It), is:
National Automotive Service Professionals Week
Only 2 more days!! Are we prepared with any CAR puns????
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Starts In Only 2 more days!
June 9-16 (Week That has the 12th In It), is:
National Automotive Service Professionals Week
Only 2 more days!! Are we prepared with any CAR puns????
I shall put my thinking cap on and try not to blow a gasket working out a few. I am sure we will all triumph in the big end.
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Thank Card! I KNEW you'd come through, Don_1.
Whew. Just in timer, too.
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"Sic transit gloria mundi", as those Romans used to say.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F_BnGsyb4rTpI%2FTNVfRhDtXhI%2FAAAAAAAAAsc%2FY9tyFsulTLs%2FS748%2Fsecuredownload.jpg&hash=7f49bf91003fcbf0ed2e973bbe05e308)
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Contrary to popular belief, the motor vehicle was concieved in the early days of the Vatican City.
I cite this in support of my claim:-
Jesus want's me for a sunbeam, all pine for me.
Of course! NOW I understand why this icon is in almost every church window in Detroit!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.trincoll.edu%2Fdepts%2Fcsrpl%2Fimages%2FJesus.jpg&hash=ab930c95ca0b33dedbd986b7e0b9ad30)
And I bet the Japanese carmakers paid Him a fortune to endorse Honda Accord (does it drive on water? Will it make cans of motor oil appear magically whenever needed? If the car dies, will it be resurrected at Easter???) Inquiring minds wanna know.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FACF6D59F-1000-4183-BBF6-B3EFB1B27EF5-483-0000003D6F8FC5AA.jpg&hash=8c143416b362e35bdd374b8eba29a475)
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I saw a burning moggy trying to put the flames out with its tongue eventually turn into a dog!
It was a cat alit lick converter.
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Of course! NOW I understand why this icon is in almost every church window in Detroit!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.trincoll.edu%2Fdepts%2Fcsrpl%2Fimages%2FJesus.jpg&hash=ab930c95ca0b33dedbd986b7e0b9ad30)
I think this is a load of poo, manure, crap, turds, detroitus.
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And I bet the Japanese carmakers paid Him a fortune to endorse Honda Accord (does it drive on water? Will it make cans of motor oil appear magically whenever needed? If the car dies, will it be resurrected at Easter???) Inquiring minds wanna know.
Guess what I saw hon da way to church today.
...does it drive on water?
Of course it does. (I am fib ian, of course)
Will it make cans of motor oil appear magically whenever needed?
Better than that: It turns them into saké.
If the car dies, will it be resurrected at Easter???
According to popular belief, yes, but if so I shall be most Impreza.
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I bought my wife a Jaguar the other day, it ripped her pieces.
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Of course! NOW I understand why this icon is in almost every church window in Detroit!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.trincoll.edu%2Fdepts%2Fcsrpl%2Fimages%2FJesus.jpg&hash=ab930c95ca0b33dedbd986b7e0b9ad30)
I think this is a load of poo, manure, crap, turds, detroitus.
Perhaps. But meanwhile, John Deere's manure spreader is the only equipment the company won't stand behind.
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I bought my wife a Jaguar the other day, it ripped her pieces.
I would do as Donnah always suggests: check for Contract Claws.
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Will it make cans of motor oil appear magically whenever needed?
Better than that: It turns them into saké.
That's right! As He often was quoted, "Oil be your spirit, in flesh (bread) and blood (fer gawd's saké)"
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...does it drive on water?
Of course it does. (I am fib ian, of course)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffunnyasduck.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F10%2Ffunny-walk-water-jesus-car-pics.jpg&hash=c772769a8d134c22e2991e8562d4c87b)
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[ Invalid Attachment ] [attachment=post_tmp_8668_0][/attachment]
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffp.images.autos.msn.com%2FMedia%2F580x348%2F47%2F471c7afaa2664fb8974ceb893a65f73e.jpg&hash=9cc543f768fbd8ad685821a854c8db62)
When I said 'fill her up', this wasn't quite what I had in mind.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.ubergizmo.com%2Fphotos%2F2010%2F7%2Fpersonal-sub.jpg&hash=64fc6bd4cfef452f2a242d9f71fc341c)
Now that's what I call a bubble car.
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[ Invalid Attachment ] [attachment=post_tmp_8668_0][/attachment]
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[ Invalid Attachment ] [attachment=post_tmp_8668_0][/attachment]
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F85A0CA0E-A5CD-4196-9A36-BCC3EAF32B9C-131-00000002EDB36C84.jpg&hash=ab903da0df4e2612875b72ff632bbc6e)
Go, Don_1!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.ubergizmo.com%2Fphotos%2F2010%2F7%2Fpersonal-sub.jpg&hash=64fc6bd4cfef452f2a242d9f71fc341c)
Now that's what I call a bubble car.
Once, when I worked in the gum factory, I fell in a vat of bubblegum.
My boss had to chew me out.
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[ Invalid Attachment ] [attachment=post_tmp_8668_0,msg412956][/attachment]
I would prefer a less in-depth car wash, personally. Even one as bad as this:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F3589139E-BD8E-42B2-B3FB-163AEC1341B5-302-00000070256DD072.jpg&hash=abf4801c18e4200aadd1abdd7c5bdc67)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffp.images.autos.msn.com%2FMedia%2F580x348%2F47%2F471c7afaa2664fb8974ceb893a65f73e.jpg&hash=9cc543f768fbd8ad685821a854c8db62)
When I said 'fill her up', this wasn't quite what I had in mind.
I personally prefer more modern methods to "fill her up", including an accurate meter that shows exactly how much gas you purchase @ 22 and 1/2 cents per gallon!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFA361DE8-9FBD-42E1-9921-60465A8D467B-302-00000076B35C14D8.jpg&hash=3575f4d9c1ef34e557009847b9310e4a)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FF46E16A8-CF4F-4DE7-932B-EDB74E0E1EA0-302-000000795D549CE7.jpg&hash=cb3f405ebc667f1122bcb526cf6a9ca1)
If I had Don_1's graphic skills, I would circle "Fill 'er up!"
edit: "her" or "er" in the phrase "Fill her up" refers to the car.
NOT the woman!
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... detroitus.
[;D]
Detroit made us what we car today.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FACF6D59F-1000-4183-BBF6-B3EFB1B27EF5-483-0000003D6F8FC5AA.jpg&hash=8c143416b362e35bdd374b8eba29a475)
Why is he looking upward? Do you think his father bought him the car? Or did he just co-sign the loan papers?
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[ Invalid Attachment ] [attachment=post_tmp_8668_0,msg412953][/attachment]
40 years of Nagging Excellence awarded!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F3423F555-D9D8-4A8A-B4DC-2E7C39CD0777-1293-000000890858F201.jpg&hash=380848a1d5b1ee1ef60934becd5d1f51)
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This coming Saturday, June 15, 2013, is:
Queen's [UK] Official Birthday
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FDB4EC779-4CD0-4F85-9AF6-BFBBA2E3AFF1-456-000000383B0528A6.jpg&hash=0cce35cea192a9cd2cff63157b4bc14d)
The queen's favourite chef was knighted Sir Loin.
Many people stand up for royalty, but the queen sits down for royal tea.
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June, 2013, is:
International Men's Month
Some random thoughts:
Would men who make draperies be called Curt and Rod?
Most males in a men's room are stand-up guys.
Do garbage men mostly talk trash?
Florence Nightingale had many suitors because men liked to go with the Flo.
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Sorry I took a long time to respond to this Demo, I must be one of the men o' pause.
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I was about to plant out some seedlings when 'er indoors swiped my dibble.
"Oi!" I exclaimed, "That's mine and women can't use them anyway, bloody cheek."
She retorted, "Since when was this a man dibble?"
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The women stood shoulder to shoulder to stop the G8 meeting from taking place, but they were failing until one large strong man joined them. "Oh look," said Anna* "Now we really are a bloke aid."
*Not her again.
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A quick witted postal worker, trained in first aid, rushed to the assistance of a pregnant woman who's waters broke while she was in a supermarket. Moments later, the postal worker gave the mother her new born baby boy.
Headline reads:
Postal worker delivers male.
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Postal worker delivers male.
A slow postal worker would thus deliver male men o' pause.
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Sorry I took a long time to respond to this Demo, I must be one of the men o' pause.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F3C3EBD37-3F87-4FFF-BA63-C6D70C179E28-1135-00000071D61BCA6A.jpg&hash=3d84ce5eca6b4af8f82e8fbcce9c6d2f)
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I was about to plant out some seedlings when 'er indoors swiped my dibble.
"Oi!" I exclaimed, "That's mine and women can't use them anyway, bloody cheek."
She retorted, "Since when was this a man dibble?"
MANDIBLE:“ to be assigned to work at the mechanical bull in a bar ”
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The women stood shoulder to shoulder to stop the G8 meeting from taking place, but they were failing until one large strong man joined them. "Oh look," said Anna* "Now we really are a bloke aid."
*Not her again.
Sadly, my quest for oranges was fruitless.
Why are oranges in short supply?
I believe there’s a navel blockade.
You mean a naval blockade, don’t you?
No, they’re blockading navel oranges on the highways, not on the waterways, so it’s not a naval navel blockade.
from http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/tag/puns/page/5/
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Oranges with belly button's are called navel oranges. Lemons which help them are called lemon aide's.
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The queen's favourite chef was knighted Sir Loin.
Not so daft as it sounds..... Arise Sir Loin of Beef (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/lancashire/4451935.stm).
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40 years of Nagging Excellence awarded!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F3423F555-D9D8-4A8A-B4DC-2E7C39CD0777-1293-000000890858F201.jpg&hash=380848a1d5b1ee1ef60934becd5d1f51)
I have been happily married for 2 years, the other 23 have been shear purgatory.
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I have been happily married for 2 years, the other 23 have been shear purgatory.
Perhaps you've become a Purgatory Cat! Do you inexplicably yearn for a bowl of Friskies from time to time? Hmmmm?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F496C4E50-8674-44D3-BE3A-DD12589CBF64-115-00000000C5F2CC3B.jpg&hash=fb8715892cc5f6b756cddf6a2980ebd1)
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I have been happily married for 2 years, the other 23 have been shear purgatory.
Herewith, a Scientific Schematic of Purgatory!
(including Marriage)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F4CEC673F-357A-4FD6-8A03-CDA03EB20DC8-115-000000174D524232.jpg&hash=d5525c48267da333f04dc4c4aca91cdc)
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Oranges with belly button's are called navel oranges. Lemons which help them are called lemon aide's.
The naval orange is on your right.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.wikia.com%2Fannoyingorange%2Fimages%2Fd%2Fd1%2FAO_Naval_Orange_screen.png&hash=eaec4267eef89d77d757f0b893b823e5)
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That looks a little like a blueberry werewolf pirate and a rather menacing nearly vampire orange. Must be a BLOOD ORANGE.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.wikia.com%2Fannoyingorange%2Fimages%2Fd%2Fd1%2FAO_Naval_Orange_screen.png&hash=eaec4267eef89d77d757f0b893b823e5)
That looks a little like a blueberry werewolf pirate and a rather menacing nearly vampire orange. Must be a BLOOD ORANGE.
Don_1, please citrus self down and remember -- similar to beginner Anne's "la"s -- that novice pirates like this make terrible singers because they can't hit the high seas.
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I have been happily married for 2 years, the other 23 have been shear purgatory.
Herewith, a Scientific Schematic of Purgatory!
(including Marriage)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F4CEC673F-357A-4FD6-8A03-CDA03EB20DC8-115-000000174D524232.jpg&hash=d5525c48267da333f04dc4c4aca91cdc)
That reminds me of something......... What was it now?
[ Invalid Attachment ]
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That looks a little like a blueberry werewolf pirate and a rather menacing nearly vampire orange. Must be a BLOOD ORANGE.
Don_1, please citrus self down and remember -- similar to beginner Anne's "la"s -- that novice pirates like this make terrible singers because they can't hit the high seas.
It seems there has been a problem, Anna needs a new 'G' string.
I'll say no more.
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As I drank my cuppa, the neighbour came running in "An army officer has been run down by a road roller, come, C flat major."
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The choir of pigeons stood at the ready waiting for the conductor to pick up his baton, more commonly known as a coo stick.
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Anna needs a new 'G' string.
...C flat major."
...a coo stick.
Do I sense Don_1's longing for an acoustic guitar? Or another acoustic instrument?
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Tomorrow, June 26, 2013, is:
National Canoe Day
I Can't Think Of Any Boat Puns............. Canoe...?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftiwibzone.tiwib.netdna-cdn.com%2Fimages%2Fcrystal-clear-canoe.jpg&hash=2c17a44a656993340be5160a5b5fbbe9)
Anna in her crystal clear canoe
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Anna needs a new 'G' string.
...C flat major."
...a coo stick.
Do I sense Don_1's longing for an acoustic guitar? Or another acoustic instrument?
Ah coo stick to your original idea.
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Tomorrow, June 26, 2013, is:
National Canoe Day
I Can't Think Of Any Boat Puns............. Canoe...?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftiwibzone.tiwib.netdna-cdn.com%2Fimages%2Fcrystal-clear-canoe.jpg&hash=2c17a44a656993340be5160a5b5fbbe9)
Anna in her crystal clear canoe
Yes I can think of quite a yacht of them, but I'll only impart some of them to you if you give me a piece of kayak, fruit & nut kayak might be fitting. I do like a piece of kayak at Launch time.
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Anna needs a new 'G' string.
...C flat major."
...a coo stick.
Do I sense Don_1's longing for an acoustic guitar? Or another acoustic instrument?
Ah coo... stick to your original idea.
Gesundheit!
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Tomorrow, June 26, 2013, is:
National Canoe Day
I Can't Think Of Any Boat Puns............. Canoe...?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftiwibzone.tiwib.netdna-cdn.com%2Fimages%2Fcrystal-clear-canoe.jpg&hash=2c17a44a656993340be5160a5b5fbbe9)
Anna in her crystal clear canoe
Yes I can think of quite a yacht of them, but I'll only impart some of them to you if you give me a piece of kayak, fruit & nut kayak might be fitting. I do like a piece of kayak at launch time.
Where can you buy that kayak?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FCF8128D3-5ACC-434E-BAAC-8F84A2EFB094-263-00000013A55A3974.jpg&hash=ceb7bff362e1bdbd897834800de21872)
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you cant have your kayak and heat it too.
From http://paytonlacivita.wordpress.com/2011/01/31/no-pun-intended-26-great-puns-these-are-some-amazing-puns-i-know-but-i-like-bad-jokes/
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Anna needs a new 'G' string.
...C flat major."
...a coo stick.
Do I sense Don_1's longing for an acoustic guitar? Or another acoustic instrument?
Ah coo... stick to your original idea.
Gesundheit!
Grassyarse or Lawnybum
Everybody sing.........
For sneeze a jolly good fellow, for sneeze a jolly good fellow.......
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Where can you buy that kayak?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FCF8128D3-5ACC-434E-BAAC-8F84A2EFB094-263-00000013A55A3974.jpg&hash=ceb7bff362e1bdbd897834800de21872)
You can have that kayak, I want this one:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.cakecentral.com%2Fd%2Fd6%2Fd6d4564d_modulescopperminealbumsuserpics590063DSC00394.jpeg&hash=100d6a84cf153b3e25d7219e938899e2)
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Don_1, getting rid of that boat for another could cause a whole raft of problems.
For example, a leak in the back of your boat could be a stern warning.
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I Can't Think Of Any Boat Puns.
Anna was arrested for throwing bombs from a boat, but they dropped the charges.
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Anna was working in the tavern outside the naval base. Asked what flowers should be planted in the garden she said, "Azaleas of course." Just then a burly old sea dog roughly put his hand on her thigh. She tipped a bucket of sloops over his head and screamed, "U-boat men are all the same.
If I were a copper and was set the task of an investigation, I would say to the suspect, "I scharnhorst* around on this job."
(*For the benefit of those younger readers: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_battleship_Scharnhorst (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_battleship_Scharnhorst))
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I Can't Think Of Any Boat Puns.
Anna was arrested for throwing bombs from a boat, but they dropped the charges.
That's the trouble with the modern police force, they just don't go into depth anymore. Is it because they are lazy oar just don't care?
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Hmmmmm...... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.infojustice.com%2Fsmiley%2520scratch-head.gif&hash=5dd88dd74fab8d9ffc033dca4c6e7357)
[ Invalid Attachment ]
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Yes, as a RN police officer, I would be tough on any Hood*.
(*For the benefit of any younger readers: Oh to hell with it, look it up for yourself, google HMS Hood)
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Was I a tad harsh then? have I delved into tir pitz of ignorance?
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Perhaps one of the Royal Family would care to add something to this punning episode.
I say, prinz, Eu gen join in if you wish.
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Now, just one more post in an effort to get 10/10 from Demo. I want the very bizt marck I can get.
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I'll try to put these puns on to a graf speedily, if I can.
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Well, I think I've managed a pun on the names of all the most famous German battleships of WWII and a RN battleship thrown in for good measure.
I don't think I'll try it with Japanese battleships, it might prove a tad difficult and besides, I'll annoy (http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2012-04-13/news/chi-uss-llinois-submarine-u.s.-navy_1_submarine-virginia-class-illinois-connection) the US Navy.
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I Can't Think Of Any Boat Puns............. Canoe...?
Yes I can think of quite a yacht of them...
Here's quite a yacht of them:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC2096236-9127-4C2A-A163-E13861FC4924-1142-0000005CF117CE27.jpg&hash=fad97c8e40f6824d50e8787156304fda)
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...I'll annoy the US Navy.
But don't be like the annoying dermatologist who always gets under your skin.
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AAAHuuUUH GUhGuhGuhGuh
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Furbantitan.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F04%2Fpopeye.jpg&hash=d7b876ad3aaaa12cd336d491183bc475)
[ Invalid Attachment ]
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...I'll annoy the US Navy.
But don't be like the annoying dermatologist who always gets under your skin.
I find the oral hygienist a bit of a mouthful.
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Anna needs a new 'G' string.
...C flat major."
...a coo stick.
Do I sense Don_1's longing for an acoustic guitar? Or another acoustic instrument?
Ah coo stick to your original idea.
There was a problem at the guitar factory. Someone accidentally mixed sodium hydroxide in with the varnish. They ended up with a caustic guitar.
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...I'll annoy the US Navy.
But don't be like the annoying dermatologist who always gets under your skin.
I find the oral hygienist a bit of a mouthful.
I find the proctologist to be...[fill in the blanks]
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...I'll annoy the US Navy.
But don't be like the annoying dermatologist who always gets under your skin.
I find the oral hygienist a bit of a mouthful.
I find the proctologist to be...[fill in the blanks]
..... a bit of a bummer?
..... rather cheeky?
..... a sticky customer (ie glueteus maximus)
..... a silly ass
..... the type of people you don't want to shake hands with
..... forever bringing up the rear
..... the worst guest at a dinner party
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In my capacity as an events logistics contractor, I recently covered the annual conference of the College of Optometrists. That was an eye openner.
And just last week I covered the annual bash of the College of Occupational Therapists, but I can't think of a suitable pun for that job. I need help.
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There was a problem at the guitar factory. Someone accidentally mixed sodium hydroxide in with the varnish. They ended up with a caustic guitar.
Hehehe.... I wish aye cid that.
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At the cattle market a farmer was looking for something a little different to give him the edge over his dairy competetors.
One seller had a dozen Oxen on offer. After some negociation, the farmer declared "Per ox I'd pay £1000."
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The raptor had made a good kill. Sitting on a high perch, with his claw ate the prey.
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The pet shop had the names of all the animals he had for sale, Rover, Gnasher, Spot and Chalky made up the dog list, while Smokie, Tabby and Panda made up the cat a list.
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Speaking of a catalyst, man, ga knees are playing up this morning.
(Heard on CB radio)
ϟϟϟ Pat t' Ella, Pat t' Ella, are you receiving Ella? ϟϟϟ
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...I'll annoy the US Navy.
But don't be like the annoying dermatologist who always gets under your skin.
I find the oral hygienist a bit of a mouthful.
I find the proctologist to be...[fill in the blanks]
..... a bit of a bummer?
..... rather cheeky?
..... a sticky customer (ie glueteus maximus)
..... a silly ass
..... the type of people you don't want to shake hands with
..... forever bringing up the rear
..... the worst guest at a dinner party
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F728971B1-7EA3-45E3-BE9F-4A73FB65E1EE-107-0000006A881E4920.jpg&hash=aed29fc24939ab1e7ad4f89b0b4ca022)
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There was a problem at the guitar factory. Someone accidentally mixed sodium hydroxide in with the varnish. They ended up with a caustic guitar.
Hehehe.... I wish aye cid that.
Should we have some Sodium Hydroxide Cake to celebrate the New Caustic Guitar?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2B96071A-2A27-4039-B335-F47FE0CE19B8-107-0000006CC73E248F.jpg&hash=9da1c08713778c6dda0a36cf52d1e2b3)
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In my capacity as an events logistics contractor, I recently covered the annual conference of the College of Optometrists. That was an eye opener.
And just last week I covered the annual bash of the College of Occupational Therapists, but I can't think of a suitable pun for that job. I need help.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F7A54A45C-FC02-4E40-AF79-21029A7A367E-107-0000007129D4B5BA.jpg&hash=d8dc2a5567db83419743cb10dfbc4784)
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[the proctologist is...]
..... a bit of a bummer?
..... rather cheeky?
..... a sticky customer (ie glueteus maximus)
..... a silly ass
..... the type of people you don't want to shake hands with
..... forever bringing up the rear
..... the worst guest at a dinner party
But if things go wrong, he'll usually rectify the situation.
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But if things go wrong, he'll usually rectify the situation.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sphsupplies.co.uk%2Fproduct_images%2Fv%2F047%2Flong_gl__68168_zoom.jpg&hash=47b1c5545222d626fa9dc15dafb1e666) You keep away from me........ HELP! Let me outa here!!!! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fkathsfunnylittlelife.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Fpanic-smiley.gif&hash=5c008640bd19b471d2ad23f96686fdca)
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The vet was so clumsy, he wrecked all the examination gloves.
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At least he was honest, when the practice head vet asked who had wrecked 'um, he put his arm up*.
* No, please, just don't go there, it really dosen't bare even contemplating.
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The proctologist is...an ass, etc.
But if things go wrong, he'll usually rectify the situation.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sphsupplies.co.uk%2Fproduct_images%2Fv%2F047%2Flong_gl__68168_zoom.jpg&hash=47b1c5545222d626fa9dc15dafb1e666) You keep away from me........ HELP! Let me outa here!!!! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fkathsfunnylittlelife.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Fpanic-smiley.gif&hash=5c008640bd19b471d2ad23f96686fdca)
Don't worry, Don_1, the proctologist finally just now quit his job because it gave him tunnel vision.
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I knew he'd crack up eventually.
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Of course you know he had been moonlighting as a croupier in a global drug and hygiene conglomerate's private casino where he was known as 'Proctologist & gamble'.
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'Proctologist & gamble'
LOL!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0FA696C3-E60B-41CF-8A77-FB6FCC371EE8-541-00000032C90CE339.jpg&hash=09f71f595166c94ba7572b56e853a2db)
Proctology
Las Vegas, NV Gaming Board???
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His wife is selling off all his old equipment on eBay:
Item #1
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.healthandsafetysupplies.co.uk%2Facatalog%2F272421.gif&hash=48d7703cffbe17265c822cebb49e60a0)
Miners helmet with lamp.
Item #2
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejc.com%2Ffiles%2Fimagecache%2Fbody_portrait%2FGAS-MASK.jpg&hash=d6accab721612c5ac152f631e2540666)
Gas Mask
Item #3
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthumbs1.ebaystatic.com%2Fd%2Fl225%2Fm%2FmaZIYa5LVZ2pFsHljaT1ILg.jpg&hash=ca365f6feaf3b44374adaec59c3eb238)
Tyre Levers
Item #4
[ Invalid Attachment ]
Canary
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I knew [the proctologist would] crack up eventually.
Was that just a wild ass guess?
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Item #4
[ Invalid Attachment ]
Canary
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F71CE56F2-E766-4897-A50A-62C71EB5520D-541-000000390AD82CD6.jpg&hash=6386827de4f3b9bc664073d0aeb0631e)
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[ Invalid Attachment ] [attachment=post_tmp_8668_0][/attachment]
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I knew [the proctologist would] crack up eventually.
Was that just a wild ass guess?
Oh no, it was written in the stars.
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I knew [the proctologist would] crack up eventually.
Was that just a wild ass guess?
Oh no, it was written in the stars.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fjoelmp98.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F04%2Fdonald-duck-good-one-laughing-animated.gif&hash=0c77957ad6916746a76208b54e982ca1)
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[ Invalid Attachment ] [attachment=post_tmp_8668_0,msg413793][/attachment]
The cat has a code cold?
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At the cattle market a farmer was looking for something a little different to give him the edge over his dairy competitors.
When the branding iron was invented cattle were very impressed.
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June, 2013, is:
Effective Communications Month
Poor communication...kills!
The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop them a line.
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One of the most effective communications I know of can be made with just one finger......................
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-computer001.gif&hash=7dcb263fe729bdf0b70a19821705a7db) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
I type slowly with one finger because I know you don't read too quick.
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I knew [the proctologist would] crack up eventually.
Was that just a wild ass guess?
Oh no, it was written in the stars.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fjoelmp98.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F04%2Fdonald-duck-good-one-laughing-animated.gif&hash=0c77957ad6916746a76208b54e982ca1)<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Tight as a ducks _____.
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It is said that Alexander G. Bell made the greatest advance in communications when he made the first telephone. Not so; it was the person who made the second telephone who was really on the ball.
[ Invalid Attachment ]
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Wheel keep that in mind.
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I knew [the proctologist would] crack up eventually.
Was that just a wild ass guess?
Oh no, it was written in the stars.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fjoelmp98.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F04%2Fdonald-duck-good-one-laughing-animated.gif&hash=0c77957ad6916746a76208b54e982ca1)<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Tight as a duck's _____
In my teens, a "DA" (for duck's ass) hairstyle was extremely popular:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA6F13FF4-9311-4B14-8417-86A9FF5905C7-541-000000B9794B403B.jpg&hash=cb670deb793e71ec1b8d11f3a4ed657b)
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Wheel keep that in mind.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FF9399DEF-1CCC-4A64-AF09-88846AF6B45D-541-000000BD20FA034E.jpg&hash=1ee4579f8650cacf03c6b7f5965cd19d)
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It is said that Alexander G. Bell made the greatest advance in communications when he made the first telephone. Not so; it was the person who made the second telephone who was really on the ball.
[ Invalid Attachment ]
Wat's on your mind?
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I'll never tele.
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We have ways of making you tele. We know where you post.
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Switched from English to Western riding. No posting here.
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Switched from English to Western riding. No posting here.
I've planted part of a riding whip. I'm hoping for a nice crop.
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Item #3
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthumbs1.ebaystatic.com%2Fd%2Fl225%2Fm%2FmaZIYa5LVZ2pFsHljaT1ILg.jpg&hash=ca365f6feaf3b44374adaec59c3eb238)
Tyre Levers
I'm afraid to ask: what are your Tyre Levers for??
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That's en-tyre-ly up to Don_1.
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You'd better tread carefully, you don't want to sound too flat.
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I'll spare the sarcasm; wouldn't want to rubber the wrong way Jack.
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This doesn't tire me at all. Please continue.
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I'm not a squealer.
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I hope this doesn't come to a screeching halt!
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We seem to be at a crossroad. Time for a brake.
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You're right. You're no squealer, so it's not right to just go race ahead.
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I see this tyre pun has become inflated. I shall need to beware of re-treading your steps, because that wheely wont do.
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Would someone be so good as to tell me which is the hub pun? I'll need to know if I am to get a grip of the situation
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Damned if I know, Don_1. See how lost and disorganized and fragmented and scattered and frightened and isolated we are without you? [;D]
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FCC69302E-D0F2-41AD-95F7-53E4ABE566CE-950-000000756F89E119.jpg&hash=7e7873c8f41f7f58749b1e98095a5e6a)
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Damned if I know, Don_1. See how lost and disorganized and fragmented and scattered and frightened and isolated we are without you? [;D]
Oh come come now, you flatter me. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-ashamed005.gif&hash=1c79a278bedf7ec624b32be088286225) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Or should that read, 'you fatter me'? Not that I'm a pig, or anything like that (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-eatdrink011.gif&hash=79b4afde64a02c8522b6aa92bcbed6fe) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
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Is a phlebotomist a proctologist who is obsessed by infestations of Pulex irritans?
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My uncle suffers from Hay Fever rather badly because he was always too late taking his pills. I told my aunty his timing is just no good at all.
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My uncle suffers from Hay Fever rather badly because he was always too late taking his pills. I told my aunty his timing is just no good at all.
Yes, very true. Allergy sufferers are itching to get through the hay fever season.
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My GP told my wife and I about a new hayfever trial. I told him "Sign us up!"
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Sinus problems blow.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0DA3E974-2A7C-4032-A0D9-944F186CC4C3-342-000000255C50FC98.jpg&hash=c3d22152a7f63acc418011ff54ddfa09)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0DA3E974-2A7C-4032-A0D9-944F186CC4C3-342-000000255C50FC98.jpg&hash=c3d22152a7f63acc418011ff54ddfa09)
I'm sure I nose that fella.
-
Taking lunch with an associate of mine in France a while ago, I said to him I had a need to point Percy at the porcelain, water the Pyjama Python, take a leak (whatever you want to call it), before the sweet was served. As he is fluent in French, I followed his instruction; beckoning the waiter, I asked him 'Where is the lavvy?' The waiter looked at me questioningly, as did my associate.
"Lavvy Monsieur?" The waiter enquired.
"Lavvy?" My associate echoed.
"Well, you told me to 'say lavvy'," I retorted.
My associate, dumbfounded, explained, "I commented, in the French colloquialism, 'Such is life', not 'say lavvy'."
-
Noses run in our family.
-
Noses run in our family.
The charges of the otolaryngologist were exorbitant, I had to pay through the nose!
-
I knew a man who was good at smelling, but he had nose sense.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FF340E908-CAC7-43D5-ADD5-2CC42C3FB2E8-709-0000007660D910B5.jpg&hash=a93cb52031bb4a9f008d2e9e9ec74c48)
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Its nowt to do with me.
Nosetradamus predicted sinus problems would lead to tsunamis.
Breaker 19: He predicted a wave of catastrophies.
-
Nosetradamus predicted sinus problems would lead to tsunamis.
Breaker 19: He predicted a wave of catastrophes.
Nah. I think all of his waves were just swell.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.netanimations.net%2Fsurf-love-water-animated.gif&hash=8c39e680a92036b217eb033626a0a98e)
-
Would it be safe to say that we have had surficient of these puns?
You should have bri now.
-
So, de, um, claw I'd found belonged to a Sea Eagle.
-
Reminds me of that song by Rod Stewart, the one that goes:
I am saline,
I am saline,
Like a bird,
'Cross the sea.
Yes, its a bit of a sloppy song, but I like it, I'm just that salt of guy.
-
The Devil came unto me and said, "Would you like to see heaven or would you like to see my domain?"
I replied, "I wouldn't mind seeing heaven," but I said "Nah, see hell!* You must be joking."
*NaCl
-
The experiment, which was extremely dangerous, involved combining 9 parts potassium with 1 part phosphorus.
The result was K9P. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.messentools.com%2Fimages%2Femoticones%2Fhumor%2Fwww.MessenTools.com-emoticones-humor-014.gif&hash=c78e11d7966b7a301585fdb21dd01ccf)
-
This new clear water is good for fishin'.
-
Would it be safe to say that we have had surficient of these puns?
You should have bri now.
I bet Don_1's quote above gets wave reviews.
-
The experiment, which was extremely dangerous, involved combining 9 parts potassium with 1 part phosphorus.
The result was K9P. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.messentools.com%2Fimages%2Femoticones%2Fhumor%2Fwww.MessenTools.com-emoticones-humor-014.gif&hash=c78e11d7966b7a301585fdb21dd01ccf)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F1DFDC3E4-8842-4DD2-A7C5-72ACAE42487F-1767-0000009D78D98CAE.jpg&hash=2b178475d7d7e8921265b72417e74c69)
-
The Devil came unto me and said, "Would you like to see heaven or would you like to see my domain?"
I replied, "I wouldn't mind seeing heaven," but I said "Nah, see hell!* You must be joking."
*NaCl
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB9C47F17-9AEE-4B4D-919F-1AC9C341FCEE-1767-000000D2AAB9CD32.jpg&hash=6e84e6341ac040f6fad547b0a4ef44da)
-
Would it be safe to say that we have had surficient of these puns?
More like a surfeit, I think.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F1DFDC3E4-8842-4DD2-A7C5-72ACAE42487F-1767-0000009D78D98CAE.jpg&hash=2b178475d7d7e8921265b72417e74c69)
[ Invalid Attachment ]
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Would it be safe to say that we have had surficient of these puns?
More like a surfeit , I think.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.istockimg.com%2Ffile_thumbview_approve%2F73678%2F2%2Fstock-photo-73678-cartoon-knight.jpg&hash=397543888afaa5c53f399173e0310576)
Sir Feet at your service, my Lord Demo.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thenakedscientists.com%2Fforum%2Findex.php%3Faction%3Ddlattach%3Btopic%3D31700.0%3Battach%3D17891&hash=ef186e8c3874aab9b95666f15c170b4a)
DON_1 WINS THE FOLLOWING "FUNNIEST SHARK GRAPHIC" AWARD!!!![;D]
This should look great placed by your bathtub! (Rubber ducky not included).
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FF5582F9E-D875-43FD-8501-E9773DBA9737-196-0000000CE1689C69.jpg&hash=e5121af410ebf4bbd77f0a8e6be65b1f)
-
Would it be safe to say that we have had surficient of these puns?
More like a surfeit , I think.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.istockimg.com%2Ffile_thumbview_approve%2F73678%2F2%2Fstock-photo-73678-cartoon-knight.jpg&hash=397543888afaa5c53f399173e0310576)
Sir Feet at your service, my Lord Demo.
Why, thank you kindly, Sir Feet, for your abundance of services on my behalf!
Lord Demo
-
Would it be safe to say that we have had surficient of these puns?
Don't give up.
We must go deeper, beyond the surface of these puns!
Otherwise, water we here for?
-
Ach..............ACHOOOOooooooo
........ H2O
-
Why, thank you kindly, Sir Feet, for your abundance of services on my behalf!
Lord Demo
Isn't that what a baker does at a party? A bun dance.
-
If there are a bakers dozen less 3, then it would be a ten dance.
When they all leave the dance floor, it would be a void ance
Synchronised swimmers never use the shallow end of a pool, they have a dep end ance on the other end.
-
A group of musicians bopping at a party were astonished when the band's guitarist hit a bum note. This caused some dis cord ance.
-
Somewhat the worse for the drink, I was on the waltzing around the floor singing (after a fashion) 'Show me the way to go home.' I was looking for some guid ance.
They threw me out, saying 'Good rid dance. But I did a quickstep back up the ramp and into the hall. They wont forget my ascend ance in a hurry.
-
I'm off to the auction room now, where I shall do a bid ance.
-
I do tend to walk with a skip in my step, but the Mrs tells me to stop it and walk properly. Must I suffer such im ped ance?
-
H2O
= HIJKLMNO
-
When they all leave the dance floor, it would be a void ance
I always avoid ants when I can. They tend to run off with my treats!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffunnyfilez.funnypart.com%2Fpictures%2FFunnyPart-com-ants_are_strong.jpg&hash=a116e15ecc9089023f80b2e0fe68729f)
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If there are a bakers dozen less 3, then it would be a ten dance.
Teachers who take class a ten dance are absent-minded.
They focus on non-a ten dance.
-
Synchronised swimmers never use the shallow end of a pool, they have a dep end ance on the other end.
These synchronized swimmers have a dependence on this product:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwartburgbugle.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F04%2Fp2-depend.jpg&hash=c6261c8a68156454e638618c4a155e2c)
-
A group of musicians bopping at a party were astonished when the band's guitarist hit a bum note. This caused some dis cord ance.
When poker players have to fold they feel a bit discarded.
Oh! Whoops! I goofed! You said dis cOrd...
-
Otherwise, water we here for?
Ach..............ACHOOOOooooooo
........ H2O
H2Overwhelming Arrogance:
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6423256064/hB7D3FC56/)
-
I do tend to walk with a skip in my step, but the Mrs tells me to stop it and walk properly. Must I suffer such im ped ance?
Not im pud ence?
-
With all our focus on dance-ing...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.treasurenet.com%2Fforums%2Fattachment.php%3Fattachmentid%3D29911%26amp%3Bd%3D1332677155&hash=b52da92a15d3fb207d2c58cc027f55ef)
-
Who wears a hat for the entire duration of a cricket match?
The umpire on which the sun never sets.
-
I went to the zoo, but the only animal on display was a dog.
It was a Shitzu.
-
0
BSc
MA
PhD
3 degrees below zero.
-
The Mexican fireman had twin sons.
He named them Jose and Hose B
-
The Mexican fireman had twin sons.
He named them Jose and Hose B
Stories about a fireman ignite my interest.
-
I went to the zoo, but the only animal on display was a dog.
It was a Shitzu.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-23714896
-
Ok, it was a Tibetan mastiff in a shitzu. But the pun is lost in translation.
-
Doggone! Lion gone!
-
The Mexican fireman had twin sons.
He named them Jose and Hose B
Funny! [;D]
-
Plan ahead! Upcoming: October, 2013, is:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)
http://www.usapple.org/nam
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F68B31C7B-6050-4532-8C69-89A3190F3951-580-000000381856315C.jpg&hash=ec2f1c71cfd3044726e58e8f80293bda)
Buy an apple, take a byte out of it!
-
The Mexican fireman had twin sons.
He named them Jose and Hose B
Funny! [;D]
In fact, alancalverd wins a "Fireman Of The Year" Award!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F34C0708A-A439-4B15-84D3-82CE29E4A476-580-00000083DF30AFDF.jpg&hash=f95aabf5612de5013e5fc7b267eba2b3)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F122FFF56-5A00-4CF2-8621-E1595B2C8A29-580-00000080DAF38CB7.jpg&hash=ebd7297d7653f0cefd7eef584d814a31)
-
Doggone! Lion gone!
[;D]
-
The zookeepers weren't really lion. It was their feline that the dog was a copy cat.
-
[;D]
-
They were re-lion on people not cat-ching on.
-
They were re-lion on people not cat-ching on.
Isn't that the sound those old cash registers made?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FD9DC5E96-8FAB-4CFA-AED6-12DCE033A896-205-0000000C0974BC13_zps698e228c.jpg&hash=a2b3d044b920207a76b71154544bdbdd)
-
The zookeepers weren't really lion. It was their feline that the dog was a copy cat.
Zookeepers are meticulous; they always spot clean their leopards.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F8BFBFC4D-2A24-4C86-AF5D-BAAAC7C55797-205-00000023E5454812_zps81cb33b1.jpg&hash=8c3f5ddb660bda6d6696553c8f75e2a6)
-
Cat-cha!
-
Gesundheit!
-
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!
-
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!
Does this mean your are now head of Punning Thread?
Your servant.
-
Very ob servant.
-
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!
Does this mean your are now head of Punning Thread?
Your servant.
Very ob servant.
Civil servants named Grant are known as government grants.
-
Gesundheit!
Just a minute, I'll measure it.............
A Gesundheit is 8"
OOOoooooOOOOOooooo, stranger than fiction...... I just sneezed, twice
-
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!
Here are some dumm kopfs for you Donnah...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm4.static.flickr.com%2F3169%2F2534837176_370897e09d.jpg&hash=5d674fb3fd995a22d7ba4d959122671b)
-
Just a minute, I'll measure it.............
A Gesundheit is 8"
The maximum height of a Gesunder, of course
-
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!
Does this mean your are now head of Punning Thread?
Your servant.
Very ob servant.
Civil servants named Grant are known as government grants.
Most of our civil servants are quite uncivil and are known as government grunts.
-
Just a minute, I'll measure it.............
A Gesundheit is 8"
The maximum height of a Gesunder, of course
Alas your observation might not be understood by some of our younger readers. For their benefit, 'gesunder' was the term used for a night time pot for the relief of certain natural motions by those who had outside toilets. It was so called because it 'goes under' the bed. Of course Twirlies would know all about it.
-
It goes without saying that one had to be careful when making use of the gesunder, not to make too much noise and to be a sure-shot, otherwise one might be accused of making a commodtion.
-
Cat-cha!
Would that be tea made from pus.........
Perhaps I should re-phrase that.
-
Gesundheit!
Just a minute, I'll measure it.............
A Gesundheit is 8"
The maximum height of a Gesunder, of course
Alas your observation might not be understood by some of our younger readers. For their benefit, 'gesunder' was the term used for a night time pot for the relief of certain natural motions by those who had outside toilets. It was so called because it 'goes under' the bed. Of course Twirlies would know all about it.
It goes without saying that one had to be careful when making use of the gesunder, not to make too much noise and to be a sure-shot, otherwise one might be accused of making a commodtion.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FE1206534-19AA-4F6E-B718-23E622F369DF-616-00000034E56AFA2D_zps5d0f1040.jpg&hash=92550c52205c0d4b7d9fb6b269ff766c)
Please note that this video game is a Demo version.
-
Cat-cha!
Would that be tea made from pus.........
Perhaps I should re-phrase that.
We're all certain that you're referring to kittens
-
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!
Does this mean your are now head of Punning Thread?
Your servant.
Very ob servant.
Civil servants named Grant are known as government grants.
Most of our civil servants are quite uncivil and are known as government grunts.
If the Japanese army took over the government it would be a high coup.
-
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!
Here are some dumm kopfs for you Donnah...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm4.static.flickr.com%2F3169%2F2534837176_370897e09d.jpg&hash=5d674fb3fd995a22d7ba4d959122671b)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fphoto-14.gif&hash=dfd390f7ba567482a65bd456c80ee6f1)
-
0
BSc
MA
PhD
3 degrees below zero.
Piled higher & Deeper?
-
H2O
= HIJKLMNO
P2Z
-
[A toilet user] might be accused of making a commodtion.
[;D]
-
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!
Here are some dumm kopfs for you Donnah...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm4.static.flickr.com%2F3169%2F2534837176_370897e09d.jpg&hash=5d674fb3fd995a22d7ba4d959122671b)
They were the keystone of early film comedy.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fc%2Fc7%2FMusic-flat.svg%2F100px-Music-flat.svg.png&hash=4f2e27522e3ca99646437dcb8a851631) This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.
-
.......... And this is a quay stone:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Firishwaterways.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F03%2Fsaleen-quay-19_resize.jpg&hash=aded74854f912994f59f8d7bb9770d30)
-
Kus asub tualettruum?
This means, 'where is the toilet?'
You might describe this a key Estonian phrase.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fc%2Fc7%2FMusic-flat.svg%2F100px-Music-flat.svg.png&hash=4f2e27522e3ca99646437dcb8a851631) This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.
F flat? Really????
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fc%2Fc7%2FMusic-flat.svg%2F100px-Music-flat.svg.png&hash=4f2e27522e3ca99646437dcb8a851631) This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.
F flat? Really????
Could be a bass clef - A flat?
I think ice creams that have all the ice cream at the top and nothing in the cone are a tease cone. You eat them with a spooner.
-
I also like to have tea, scones on the side please.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fc%2Fc7%2FMusic-flat.svg%2F100px-Music-flat.svg.png&hash=4f2e27522e3ca99646437dcb8a851631) This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.
F flat? Really????
I looked for F flat on my piano all night long. Nope, I could only find an E.
-
I also like to have tea, scones on the side please.
Scone anyone?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F5096E9F2-C848-44E0-8C5E-CB56DA4A7F1D-137-0000000390194ED6_zps70b6a49e.jpg&hash=2098013b0389b8e6624bc7d30e0d92e5)
-
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!
Here are some dumm kopfs for you Donnah...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm4.static.flickr.com%2F3169%2F2534837176_370897e09d.jpg&hash=5d674fb3fd995a22d7ba4d959122671b)
The Keystone Kops were frequently criticized for excessive use of farce.
-
Kus asub tualettruum?
This means, 'where is the toilet?'
You might describe this a key Estonian phrase.
Alcoholics Happy Breakfast
Tallinn, Estonia
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F82DD5AC1-FE25-40FB-8B47-FDD681F1D790-137-0000000ECC6797C7_zps96a68101.jpg&hash=d14228662420d011e74462acd7a029c5)
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fc%2Fc7%2FMusic-flat.svg%2F100px-Music-flat.svg.png&hash=4f2e27522e3ca99646437dcb8a851631) This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.
F flat? Really????
I looked for F flat on my piano all night long. Nope, I could only find an E.
Nobody leave the room, someone's filched Demo's F flat.
Looks like a job for the key's gone kops. I think Lionel Richie could be a prime suspect.
-
Kus asub tualettruum?
This means, 'where is the toilet?'
You might describe this a key Estonian phrase.
Alcoholics Happy Breakfast
Tallinn, Estonia
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F82DD5AC1-FE25-40FB-8B47-FDD681F1D790-137-0000000ECC6797C7_zps96a68101.jpg&hash=d14228662420d011e74462acd7a029c5)
Thank you for tallinn us about this.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fc%2Fc7%2FMusic-flat.svg%2F100px-Music-flat.svg.png&hash=4f2e27522e3ca99646437dcb8a851631) This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.
F flat? Really????
Could be a bass clef - A flat?
I think ice creams that have all the ice cream at the top and nothing in the cone are a tease cone. You eat them with a spooner.
Ah! With a spooner is'm it? Well crone the stows.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fc%2Fc7%2FMusic-flat.svg%2F100px-Music-flat.svg.png&hash=4f2e27522e3ca99646437dcb8a851631) This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.
F flat? Really????
I don't wish to deflate your enthusiasm, but obviously you need to pump up the volume.
-
The Keystone Kops were frequently criticized for excessive use of farce.
Would it also be the case that a Keystone Kop in the Tour de France would have far cycling to do?
-
The Keystone Kops were frequently criticized for excessive use of farce.
Would it also be the case that a Keystone Kop in the Tour de France would have far cycling to do?
One minute I'm sure a Keystone Kop would require it, the next minute I'm not so sure.
It's a vicious cycle.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fc%2Fc7%2FMusic-flat.svg%2F100px-Music-flat.svg.png&hash=4f2e27522e3ca99646437dcb8a851631) This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.
F flat? Really????
I looked for F flat on my piano all night long. Nope, I could only find an E.
Nobody leave the room, someone's filched Demo's F flat.
Looks like a job for the key's gone kops. I think Lionel Richie could be a prime suspect.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FE036A0CE-4224-4223-B617-06D15C8F1CC3-263-0000001DBD2AC453_zpsbb72481d.jpg&hash=fb26e5483ecbb2b0502b65126ec56e09)
Why Lionel Richie?
-
Kus asub tualettruum?
This means, 'where is the toilet?'
You might describe this a key Estonian phrase.
Alcoholics Happy Breakfast
Tallinn, Estonia
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F82DD5AC1-FE25-40FB-8B47-FDD681F1D790-137-0000000ECC6797C7_zps96a68101.jpg&hash=d14228662420d011e74462acd7a029c5)
Thank you for tallinn us about this.
You're welcome.
There's no tallin how far this Science of Punning will take us.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fc%2Fc7%2FMusic-flat.svg%2F100px-Music-flat.svg.png&hash=4f2e27522e3ca99646437dcb8a851631) This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.
F flat? Really????
I looked for F flat on my piano all night long. Nope, I could only find an E.
Nobody leave the room, someone's filched Demo's F flat.
Looks like a job for the key's gone kops. I think Lionel Richie could be a prime suspect.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FE036A0CE-4224-4223-B617-06D15C8F1CC3-263-0000001DBD2AC453_zpsbb72481d.jpg&hash=fb26e5483ecbb2b0502b65126ec56e09)
Why Lionel Richie?
Oh commodore, commodore, now, you must remember All Night Long (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyQVjGdJ60g)
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Hardly a pun, but I once worked with a bandleader who announced "my personal request is To Be with You One Hour Tonight in A flat".
We also played a rag which he claimed was named after a rugby match: Fiji Defeat
As it happened, the music was a lot better than the announcements, which he admitted had been honed on years of public indifference.
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It's a vicious cycle.
If we work in tandem we can beat it.
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Hardly a pun, but I once worked with a bandleader who announced "my personal request is To Be with You One Hour Tonight in A flat".
Which inevitabley leads me to the foreman on a building site. When told the brickies were running out of bricks on the last house and wouldn't have enough for any more than the ground floor, he said, "Never mind, just bung a low roof on it."
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fc%2Fc7%2FMusic-flat.svg%2F100px-Music-flat.svg.png&hash=4f2e27522e3ca99646437dcb8a851631) This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.
F flat? Really????
I looked for F flat on my piano all night long. Nope, I could only find an E.
Nobody leave the room, someone's filched Demo's F flat.
Looks like a job for the key's gone kops. I think Lionel Richie could be a prime suspect.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FE036A0CE-4224-4223-B617-06D15C8F1CC3-263-0000001DBD2AC453_zpsbb72481d.jpg&hash=fb26e5483ecbb2b0502b65126ec56e09)
Why Lionel Richie?
Oh commodore, commodore, now, you must remember All Night Long (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyQVjGdJ60g)
<embarrassed, hanging up my musician's stripes>
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmyfuturemyself.files.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F11%2Fembarrassed11.jpg&hash=1d38ad56f5de740f665c3c30a8147210)
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Hardly a pun, but I once worked with a bandleader who announced "my personal request is To Be with You One Hour Tonight in A flat".
We also played a rag which he claimed was named after a rugby match: Fiji Defeat
As it happened, the music was a lot better than the announcements, which he admitted had been honed on years of public indifference.
Funny! What instrument? (Mine's piano).
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ONLY DAYS AWAY! Plan ahead! Upcoming: October, 2013, is:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)
http://www.usapple.org/nam
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F68B31C7B-6050-4532-8C69-89A3190F3951-580-000000381856315C.jpg&hash=ec2f1c71cfd3044726e58e8f80293bda)
Buy an apple, take a byte out of it!
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Oh dear, not the fruit puns again....... Well I'd better get my helmet on if we're throwing fruit puns around again, of course its a pith helmet.
Now, did I say 'pith helmet', or have I got a listhp?
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Hardly a pun, but I once worked with a bandleader who announced "my personal request is To Be with You One Hour Tonight in A flat".
We also played a rag which he claimed was named after a rugby match: Fiji Defeat
As it happened, the music was a lot better than the announcements, which he admitted had been honed on years of public indifference.
Funny! What instrument? (Mine's piano).
I get the feeling it may have been his French Horn.
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Oh dear, not the fruit puns again....... Well I'd better get my helmet on if we're throwing fruit puns around again, of course its a pith helmet.
Now, did I say 'pith helmet', or have I got a listhp?
Fruity puns are ok.
So are computer puns.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F68B31C7B-6050-4532-8C69-89A3190F3951-580-000000381856315C.jpg&hash=ec2f1c71cfd3044726e58e8f80293bda)
"Buy an apple, take a byte out of it!"
October is not a time for mintsing words, it's hard to know ware to begin and when to softly ware something nicer.
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Hardly a pun, but I once worked with a bandleader who announced "my personal request is To Be with You One Hour Tonight in A flat".
We also played a rag which he claimed was named after a rugby match: Fiji Defeat
As it happened, the music was a lot better than the announcements, which he admitted had been honed on years of public indifference.
Singing in a pub one night, I asked if anyone had any requests. Some bight spark piped up, "Yes, 'Over the Hills and Far Away', as far away as possible!" Another joined in with "Do you know The Sound of Silence?" "Yes" I foolishly replied, he said "Well shut the *^%&*£>* up then."
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Fruity puns are ok.
So long as they don't come in pears with afternoon tea. I do so hate two t frutti.
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Hardly a pun, but I once worked with a bandleader who announced "my personal request is To Be with You One Hour Tonight in A flat".
We also played a rag which he claimed was named after a rugby match: Fiji Defeat
As it happened, the music was a lot better than the announcements, which he admitted had been honed on years of public indifference.
Singing in a pub one night, I asked if anyone had any requests. Some bight spark piped up, "Yes, 'Over the Hills and Far Away', as far away as possible!" Another joined in with "Do you know The Sound of Silence?" "Yes" I foolishly replied, he said "Well shut the *^%&*£>* up then."
LOL![;D]
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Fruity puns are ok.
So long as they don't come in pears with afternoon tea. I do so hate two t frutti.
If I must stand trial for an infraction of this rule, I hope I'm judged by a jury of my pears.
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Fruity puns are ok.
So long as they don't come in pears with afternoon tea. I do so hate two t frutti.
If I must stand trial for an infraction of this rule, I hope I'm judged by a jury dhurrie of my pears.
But of course, after all, you don't want the carpet pulled from under you.
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Oh dear, not the fruit puns again....... Well I'd better get my helmet on if we're throwing fruit puns around again, of course its a pith helmet.
Now, did I say 'pith helmet', or have I got a listhp?
Fruity puns are ok.
So are computer puns.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F68B31C7B-6050-4532-8C69-89A3190F3951-580-000000381856315C.jpg&hash=ec2f1c71cfd3044726e58e8f80293bda)
"Buy an apple, take a byte out of it!"
October is not a time for mintsing words, it's hard to know ware to begin and when to softly ware something nicer.
I was going to respond to this post, but my mother got board with the subject. She has no interest in computers and says that laptops are too small for her to use. She prefers something enormouse, whereas us bing more modern like to go compaqt.
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I was going to respond to this post, but my mother got board with the subject.
Instead, your mother should have gotten on board with the subject.
...She has no interest in computers and says that laptops are too small for her to use.
Perhaps The Big Tops are more appealing?
She prefers something enormouse
Mouset you keep bringing that up?
...whereas us bing more modern like to go compaqt.
The dell you do!
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Fruity puns are ok.
So long as they don't come in pears with afternoon tea. I do so hate two t frutti.
If I must stand trial for an infraction of this rule, I hope I'm judged by a jury dhurrie of my pears.
But of course, after all, you don't want the carpet pulled from under you.
You're right. that happened to me while visiting Indianapolis!
But don't make carpet (blanket?) pronouncements; some people LIKE their carpets pulled from under them!
see: Masochism, wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masochism
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When reserving your seat on an indian carpet with all your friends, always call centre, so as not to upset the equilibrahma.
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When reserving your seat on an indian carpet with all your friends, always call centre, so as not to upset the equilibrahma.
I would recommend reserving your seat with a very large Indian carpet-travel call centre that hires huge numbers of part-time actors.
That way you will have a caste of thousands at your disposal!
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I was going to respond to this post, but my mother got board with the subject.
Instead, your mother should have gotten on board with the subject.
...She has no interest in computers and says that laptops are too small for her to use.
Perhaps The Big Tops (Circuses) are more appealing?
She prefers something enormouse
Mouset you keep bringing that up?
...whereas us bing more modern like to go compaqt.
The dell you do!
If you covet your neighbour's computer, you may end up going to help!
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If you covet your neighbour's computer, you may end up going to help!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F7324C128-4D47-4958-BF48-CFF4728E660C-768-00000040F7DF7279_zps3f00986d.jpg&hash=e770e8dfc6ea8a26440f648ceb27a126)
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I have a covet on my bed. Or is that a duvet?
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When reserving your seat on an indian carpet with all your friends, always call centre, so as not to upset the equilibrahma.
I'm glad you cottoned on to that.
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When reserving your seat on an indian carpet with all your friends, always call centre, so as not to upset the equilibrahma.
I'm glad you cottoned on to that.
The manufacturing of t-shirts has really cotton.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F404F6A1C-FC04-459D-8BDA-EEE99C96CBF4-443-00000028B5B229DD_zpsb161bccf.jpg&hash=4e14a2505654303f12024458e0e8fc84)
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I have a covet on my bed. Or is that a duvet?
I think it's a duvet cover.
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Does this mean Don_1 didn't cover all bases?
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I doubt that that's true. Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F72242050-7AFE-49B4-8BDB-2ACC9036EB61-221-0000000E9F74D140_zpsb00af863.jpg&hash=f7eb44c4e47a3e295f263d8d14e99b71)
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ONLY DAYS AWAY! Plan ahead! Upcoming: October, 2013, is:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)
http://www.usapple.org/nam
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F68B31C7B-6050-4532-8C69-89A3190F3951-580-000000381856315C.jpg&hash=ec2f1c71cfd3044726e58e8f80293bda)
Buy an apple, take a byte out of it!
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Does this mean Don_1 didn't cover all bases?
I may not have covered all the bases and don't think I covered the car, but I did cover di van.
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I doubt that that's true. Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-ashamed005.gif&hash=1c79a278bedf7ec624b32be088286225) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) It was an accident that happened in the wee small hours.
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ONLY DAYS AWAY! Plan ahead! Upcoming: October, 2013, is:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)
http://www.usapple.org/nam
I thought I was ready for this, but there's something wrong with this apple that Ma ggot.
(https://d15mj6e6qmt1na.cloudfront.net/files/images/0429/9772/maggot_in_apple.jpg)
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Playing musical chairs, I got knocked out in the first round. I really should have sat suma.
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I doubt that that's true. Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-ashamed005.gif&hash=1c79a278bedf7ec624b32be088286225) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) It was an accident that happened in the wee small hours.
Urine trouble now.
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ONLY DAYS AWAY! Plan ahead! Upcoming: October, 2013, is:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)
http://www.usapple.org/nam
I thought I was ready for this, but there's something wrong with this apple that Ma ggot.
(https://d15mj6e6qmt1na.cloudfront.net/files/images/0429/9772/maggot_in_apple.jpg)
Same here. Even Grand Ma tried to do the rot thing.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFAD460D2-9944-4315-BC2F-C3D86D5E8CF5-392-000000591D8007B6_zpsb5f60220.jpg&hash=6598437d893d24c0164bfa61248c95b1)
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I doubt that that's true. Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-ashamed005.gif&hash=1c79a278bedf7ec624b32be088286225) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) It was an accident that happened in the wee small hours.
Urine trouble now.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing021.gif&hash=44605df69e1507c3ed4d235c15c22e92) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) I like it, I like it!!!
Oh yes Demo, we all know when ur ea, don't we!
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Do I like rented humour? Or is it just when its toilet
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.topendsports.com%2Fsport%2Funusual%2Fimages%2Fgurning.jpg&hash=f199a65e610d565671bcae3c4a3d0fda)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia.slated.org%2Falbums%2Fcontent%2Fimage%2Fgurning.jpg&hash=dd0b4a6be30566367b6da41fdd266107)
Look, people are pulling faeces at me.
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Oh! I seem to have been throne off course. Dear oh dear, its all gone down the pan now, I'm feeling rather flushed.
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I doubt that that's true. Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-ashamed005.gif&hash=1c79a278bedf7ec624b32be088286225) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) It was an accident that happened in the wee small hours.
Urine trouble now.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing021.gif&hash=44605df69e1507c3ed4d235c15c22e92) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) I like it, I like it!!!
Oh yes Demo, we all know when ur ea, don't we!
Don_1, yes, we're all here because we're not all there.
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Do I like rented humour? Or is it just when its toilet
People prefer the leasedt humor from me.
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I doubt that that's true. Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-ashamed005.gif&hash=1c79a278bedf7ec624b32be088286225) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) It was an accident that happened in the wee small hours.
Urine trouble now.
Sheet.
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Don't fear, Donnah! Don_1 has a SCIENTIFIC way out of this cot-conundrum:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC1ACC6A2-337F-47BE-ADFC-58DAE0A6705A-321-00000077E0613F7F_zpsb180db37.jpg&hash=6738484811c313cd8ef1b0197d77f0f4)
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I doubt that that's true. Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-ashamed005.gif&hash=1c79a278bedf7ec624b32be088286225) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) It was an accident that happened in the wee small hours.
Urine trouble now.
Sheet.
Donnah wins this DISPOSABLE WEE-MATS Prize for the next time Don_1 visits...Donnah will be...PREPARED!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA554BB3D-449B-4690-89D8-A408B9F64BAD-321-0000009036A814E7_zps430802a1.jpg&hash=e2f3b66de3b33fa2251a77bfb17d7f08)
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Don't fear, Donnah! Don_1 has a SCIENTIFIC way out of this cot-conundrum:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC1ACC6A2-337F-47BE-ADFC-58DAE0A6705A-321-00000077E0613F7F_zpsb180db37.jpg&hash=6738484811c313cd8ef1b0197d77f0f4)
Someone's nicked my idea!
Oh well, what the heck. I just warn them, it didn't sell too well for me. Can't think why?!?!?!
[ Invalid Attachment ]
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I doubt that that's true. Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-ashamed005.gif&hash=1c79a278bedf7ec624b32be088286225) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) It was an accident that happened in the wee small hours.
Urine trouble now.
Sheet.
Donnah wins this DISPOSABLE WEE-MATS Prize for the next time Don_1 visits...Donnah will be...PREPARED!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA554BB3D-449B-4690-89D8-A408B9F64BAD-321-0000009036A814E7_zps430802a1.jpg&hash=e2f3b66de3b33fa2251a77bfb17d7f08)
I think Demo, Donnah & co lost a my bag.
I always used to be an 'appy person, never sad.
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I think Don_1's SCIENTIFIC solution is best, but I'm not 100% convinced of the political correctness of Don_1's product name change. Perhaps we submit this to the Product In Scientific Service (PISS) Committee????
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thenakedscientists.com%2Fforum%2Findex.php%3Faction%3Ddlattach%3Btopic%3D31700.0%3Battach%3D17975&hash=f09a8f5a2db35cc9743003f588449098)
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Hahaha, you two are on a run(s).
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ONLY DAYS AWAY! Plan ahead! Upcoming: October, 2013, is:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)
http://www.usapple.org/nam
I thought I was ready for this, but there's something wrong with this apple that Ma ggot.
(https://d15mj6e6qmt1na.cloudfront.net/files/images/0429/9772/maggot_in_apple.jpg)
Same here. Even Grand Ma tried to do the rot thing.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFAD460D2-9944-4315-BC2F-C3D86D5E8CF5-392-000000591D8007B6_zpsb5f60220.jpg&hash=6598437d893d24c0164bfa61248c95b1)
Why isn't this apple corectly celebrating???
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC3CFD653-83BD-43CC-96F9-8ABC7BED671C-295-0000001AB1E951DF_zpsbb87e4ce.jpg&hash=5ccc8beb0a2feb38f68ee5c3074cb13d)
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Hahaha, you two are on a run(s).
If Don_1 runs through a screen door he'll strain himself!
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Don't be saucy.
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Someone's nicked my idea!
Oh well, what the heck. I just warn them, ["PISS OFF!!!!"] didn't sell too well for me. Can't think why?!?!?!
Your company motto should have been, "It's better to be pissed off than pissed on!"
Then watch sales skyrocket!
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Don't be saucy.
What is the saurce of your irritation?
Apple saurce?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)
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Hahaha, you two are on a run(s).
Thanks, Donnah![:)]
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Hahaha, you two are on a run(s).
If Don_1 runs through a screen door he'll strain himself!
That would be just grate.
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Someone's nicked my idea!
Oh well, what the heck. I just warn them, ["PISS OFF!!!!"] didn't sell too well for me. Can't think why?!?!?!
Your company motto should have been, "It's better to be pissed off than pissed on!"
Then watch sales skyrocket!
Do you think I'd pocket it in?
For the benefit of the unfamiliar; 'skyrocket' is cockney rhyming slang for 'pocket'.
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..................... skyrocket!
I sat on 5 chairs before I found one to my liking.
"You can't sit on that one, it belongs to Harry." Ann said.
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Don't be saucy.
Was that really pertinent?
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC3CFD653-83BD-43CC-96F9-8ABC7BED671C-295-0000001AB1E951DF_zpsbb87e4ce.jpg&hash=5ccc8beb0a2feb38f68ee5c3074cb13d)
Eh pull faces at someone else.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC3CFD653-83BD-43CC-96F9-8ABC7BED671C-295-0000001AB1E951DF_zpsbb87e4ce.jpg&hash=5ccc8beb0a2feb38f68ee5c3074cb13d)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.topendsports.com%2Fsport%2Funusual%2Fimages%2Fgurning.jpg&hash=f199a65e610d565671bcae3c4a3d0fda)
What with a pples and peo ples pulling faces at me, well I'm just not gurning to stand for it!
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The EU, in its infinite wisdom, decided to standardise the shape and size of fruit & veg some years ago. This meant no more sniggering and chortling in fresh produce aisles of our supermarkets, because of the shape of a turnip or carrot which more than vaguely resembled a certain body part.
I am glad to say that this silly regulation has been consigned to room 101 (probably the biggest & best room in Brussells).
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi234.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fee317%2Fwatcyn%2Fmagic_fruit_131.jpg&hash=64df4246713f6ac1946f66806006e4c9)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fxenophilius.files.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F07%2Fwatermelon-shaped-like-ass.jpg&hash=919eb0ebbc34863969ed7d0328baa161)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3.amazonaws.com%2Fmanmadediy-uploads-production%2Fphotos%2F8924%2F0817_veg01_rect540.jpg&hash=bd6ea9ed05ce12d79f2044c436e1eeb2)
The trouble is, while Esther Rantzen and the 'That's Life' team could amuze us with the real thing, these days, it will only too easy to 'photoshop' just about any photo to give the desired saucy result.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC3CFD653-83BD-43CC-96F9-8ABC7BED671C-295-0000001AB1E951DF_zpsbb87e4ce.jpg&hash=5ccc8beb0a2feb38f68ee5c3074cb13d)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.topendsports.com%2Fsport%2Funusual%2Fimages%2Fgurning.jpg&hash=f199a65e610d565671bcae3c4a3d0fda)
What with a pples and peo ples pulling faces at me, well I'm just not ***gurning to stand for it!
***Gurning. Pronounced /ˈɡɜːnɪŋ/ British term —
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi234.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fee317%2Fwatcyn%2Fmagic_fruit_131.jpg&hash=64df4246713f6ac1946f66806006e4c9)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fxenophilius.files.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F07%2Fwatermelon-shaped-like-ass.jpg&hash=919eb0ebbc34863969ed7d0328baa161)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3.amazonaws.com%2Fmanmadediy-uploads-production%2Fphotos%2F8924%2F0817_veg01_rect540.jpg&hash=bd6ea9ed05ce12d79f2044c436e1eeb2)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F021DA920-2643-46CF-B80C-A33923AB0132-205-0000000D4D051BF8_zpsdc59a51a.jpg&hash=3f04a6b8a04b246ed269bf938bd06a92)
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The EU, in its infinite wisdom, decided to standardise the shape and size of fruit & veg some years ago. This meant no more sniggering and chortling in fresh produce aisles of our supermarkets, because of the shape of a turnip or carrot which more than vaguely resembled a certain body part.
Now why would they take the fun out of shopping like that? I shop mainly in my garden and it's fun to give people produce with odd shapes and see their reaction.
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Now why would they take the fun out of shopping like that?...
My dentist's favorite shopping center is 'The Gap'.
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October, 2013, is:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)
We're 1/3 into October, so there's still time to apply yourselves, Dear Punsters!
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Now why would they take the fun out of shopping like that?...
My dentist's favorite shopping center is 'The Gap'.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away;-)
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Thank you, Donnah. Until you said that, my search for the truth had been fruitless.
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An apple a day keeps the doctor away
;-)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.washingtonpost.com%2Fwp-srv%2Ffood%2Fimages%2FAppleAnimation.gif&hash=df82cf1a0d88597083951fe04e55f0bb)
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.(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F45E8A934-365D-436E-8CDE-8D38502DA919-120-000000049D3DF695.jpg&hash=fa6965275b764b76107f70cef31ba68a)
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Oh! I seem to have been throne off course.
Perhaps, but royal chairs - on the other hand - are rarely throne out.
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The EU, in its infinite wisdom, decided to standardise the shape and size of fruit & veg some years ago. This meant no more sniggering and chortling in fresh produce aisles of our supermarkets, because of the shape of a turnip or carrot which more than vaguely resembled a certain body part.
Now why would they take the fun out of shopping like that? I shop mainly in my garden and it's fun to give people produce with odd shapes and see their reaction.
I agree. Fun shapes are...fun!
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But I am given to understand that the Turkish words for cucumber and melon are also slang for primary and secondary sexual characteristics, so it is forbidden to advertise them by shouting their names in a market. Instead, you have to shout "salad things" and "fruit things". Now how will that be reconciled with EU requirements for unambiguous labelling?
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Call them peniscukes and boobmelons???
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October, 2013, is:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F84C1C519-C0A3-4892-A6FD-E60EB2F70F1C-137-000000028F66CC87_zpse62f7c91.jpg&hash=a015ff34f1a7104e68e663aab52dfdf1)
Good morning apple-in-your-coffee, anyone?
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October, 2013, is:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC7FEFDCB-44E8-44F0-BC94-EF836A996E30-137-00000005D48A1507_zps2ced926a.jpg&hash=0829c1c650ddb2e1d68321045915dc20)
Don_1, you said you didn't want anyone pulling faces...
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC3CFD653-83BD-43CC-96F9-8ABC7BED671C-295-0000001AB1E951DF_zpsbb87e4ce.jpg&hash=5ccc8beb0a2feb38f68ee5c3074cb13d)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.topendsports.com%2Fsport%2Funusual%2Fimages%2Fgurning.jpg&hash=f199a65e610d565671bcae3c4a3d0fda)
What with a pples and peo ples pulling faces at me, well I'm just not gurning to stand for it!
Don_1, I hope this facepulling below is an improvement!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F5E6EBFBB-1B7A-4E12-88ED-D6C2EEAF9707-716-0000008EEF0E47C6_zps2c0cadd6.jpg&hash=662d41bc638cb3dabbe20a2eebe2e254)
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Just a minute, I'll measure it.............
A Gesundheit is 8"
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FE1206534-19AA-4F6E-B718-23E622F369DF-616-00000034E56AFA2D_zps5d0f1040.jpg&hash=92550c52205c0d4b7d9fb6b269ff766c)
Above: a Demo version.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F44914EDC-08DE-4DB7-8422-B03D26D5440C-165-0000005055FD9536_zps8e365b35.jpg&hash=2fd9353567e3cab4b9f5461f2928ca72)
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Perhaps, but royal chairs - on the other hand - are rarely throne out.
In my days as a civil servant, I was instructed in the arts of committee secretaryship. I was warned about political correctness thus: "Queen Anne is a chair. Princess Anne is a chairman. They are both very good at what they do, but please do not confuse their roles."
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Interesting, alancalverd! I would have thought chair and chairman would be reversed because of royal hierarchy.
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I doubt that that's true. Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.
For Best Vetting Pun, Donnah wins this book prize!(it's the only graphic I could find!)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC0DCB666-D5A7-4AC5-9847-73667EA56EB3-264-0000001AC9A62557_zpsa9c1bb68.jpg&hash=408c57bd738df6b5dac26ec43d6657b9)
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That looks like the face of someone waiting for a burger to Frey.
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That looks like the face of someone waiting for a burger to Frey.
I owned three french-fry factories, but to me it was just small potatoes.
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October, 2013, is:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F4B4DAD24-2B82-47FD-8E89-D5900C28D10E-743-00000053F4F86124_zps9d3ae2f6.jpg&hash=a39bb3d2c18c3a49820e33cc76e30924)
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October, 2013, is:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F641D6302-49CF-4AEA-9448-448661D761B7-743-00000055BA47AD9F_zpsbd217f21.jpg&hash=1fba434951482759fc2e1ce4f0e10c53)
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October, 2013, is:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)
Full disclosure: I am a ***PC*** + iPhone user!
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October, 2013, is:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)
Full disclosure: I am a ***PC*** + iPhone user!
That's quite enough pho now.
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I do wish apple month would hurry up and go by. Its giving me the pip.
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Why do we never have an Ugly Fruit month? Must Ugly fruits always be palmed off with some future date? We must try to figure something out.
We'll allow Melon this thread, but must banAnna.
I can ci trused up lemons, can you see them?
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Why do we never have an Ugly Fruit month?
Per Don_1's excellent advice ~~~
Mid-to-Late-October is:
Ugly Fruit Weeks!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FEA794C27-0230-473B-883C-043EE041C866-523-00000039C1CA9CFA_zps943bbc05.jpg&hash=e561fb050838810d3f297bac5c0d0d49)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.smiley-lol.com%2Fsmiley%2Fbananas%2Fbanana201.gif&hash=fc0041174c5245bd4a4c3d089ab6d15e)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.smiley-lol.com%2Fsmiley%2Fbananas%2Fbanana201.gif&hash=fc0041174c5245bd4a4c3d089ab6d15e)
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Full disclosure: I am a ***PC*** + iPhone user!
That's quite enough pho now.
Don_1, I simply wished to allay suspicions that I am a Mac user, therefore I could be potentially biased in picking Apple month [:)]
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[We] must banAnna.
So let's all prepare for:
November, 2013, which is:
Banana Pudding Lovers Month!
But if we ban Anna, then November is a waste of time -- and that's pudding it mildly!
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Or shall we democratically put November to a Punning Thread vote? Suggestions are requested - voluntarily - no more dungeon coercion tactics -- by the end of October!
Possible Punning Thread November Monthly Observance
Adopt A Senior Pet Month
American & National Diabetes Month
American Indian Heritage Month (See also August)
Aviation History Month
Banana Pudding Lovers Month
Diabetic Eye Disease Month
Epilepsy Awareness Month
Family Stories Month
Gluten-Free Diet Awareness Month
Greens and Plantains Month
Historic Bridge Awareness Month
International Drum (Percussion) Month
Lung Cancer Awareness Month
Manatee Awareness Month
Movember
MADD's Tie One On For Safety Holiday Campaign (11/16-12/31)
Military Family Appreciation Month
National Adoption Month
National PPSI AIDS Awareness Month
National Alzheimer's Disease Month
National COPD Month
National Family Caregivers Month
National Georgia Pecan Month
National Home Care & Hospice Month
National Impotency Month
National Inspirational Role Models Month
National Life Writing Month
National Long-term Care Awareness Month
National Marrow Awareness Month
National Medical Science Liaison (MSL) Awareness & Appreciation Month
National Native American Heritage Month
National Family Literacy Month
National Novel Writing Month
National Peanut Butter Lovers Month
National Pet Cancer Awareness Month
National Pomegranate Month
National PPSI Aids Awareness Month
National Roasting Month
National Scholarship Month
Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month
Plum and Pomegranate Month
Prematurity Awareness Month
PTA Healthy Lifestyles Month
Spinach and Squash Month
Sweet Potato Awareness Month (See also February)
NoSHAVEmber (US - Beard Month or Movember (Australia - Moustache Month )
Vegan Month
Worldwide Bereaved Siblings Month
World Sponge Month
If you don't care for ANY of the above, we can trot out daily and/or weekly observances, all brought to you by brownielocks.com [:)]
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Gosh, I thought there were only 12 months in a year.
I think National Novel Writing Month is a novel idea.
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Gosh, I thought there were only 12 months in a year.
I think National Novel Writing Month is a novel idea.
Re. "12 months" -- at Punning Thread, mathematics, norms, etc. are usually thrown out the window. Take me as an example (I keep telling my wife that)...I'm thrown out of this place all the time... But I (somehow manage to) re-emerge from the shadows...
Donnah, I wrote a novel about a fellow who had a small garden. It didn't have much of a plot.
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Re. "12 months" -- at Punning Thread, mathematics, norms, etc. are usually thrown out the window. Take me as an example (I keep telling my wife that)...I'm thrown out of this place all the time... But I (somehow manage to) re-emerge from the shadows...
Donnah, I wrote a novel about a fellow who had a small garden. It didn't have much of a plot.
Its nice to have a seed of an idea though..
I was going to write a book about a broken knife, but it didnt really have a point, and my book about a short church sermon didnt have many chapters.
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My book about a short church sermon didn't have many chapters.
What could be verse?
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I think National Novel Writing Month is a novel idea.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F3D685D4B-D7F2-4873-9EC3-51D68520E4AB-409-0000003F242B1CE8_zpsb82b8a83.jpg&hash=e3f8364182e26d6c8e9a5d773b1d31fe)
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My book about a short church sermon didn't have many chapters.
What could be verse?
God knows.
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My book about a short church sermon didn't have many chapters.
What could be verse?
God knows.
This is getting steeple.
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Don't get cross.
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Aisle say these puns give me something to aspire to
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Don't get cross.
I'm not cross.
I just love crosswords.
In fact, I wish to be buried six down and three across.
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Aisle say these puns give me something to aspire to
A recent Pew Study confirms this occurs frequently.
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Don't get cross.
OK, I'll admit: you nailed it.
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I just kept hammering until I got it.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F8E9024A2-A4D3-4291-8055-CF9CA6AEAC79-187-0000000B71934FE2_zpsa7701f76.jpg&hash=e2597f9c186adc5901de70615aa0c442)
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Pointless, but rivetting nonetheless.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fphoto-14.gif&hash=dfd390f7ba567482a65bd456c80ee6f1)
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happy halloween everyone!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.halloweenjoys.com%2Fanimated_gifs%2Fhalloween_animated_gifs_02.gif&hash=e426c12b8103e4c7e9c4063c4bd4596a)
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Pointless, but rivetting nonetheless.
At least you're not board.
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At this rate, he will be chairing soon!
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alancalverd for chairman of the (not) board!
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I second the notion!
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alancalverd for chairman of the (not) board!
I hope he's on board with the nomination!
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I hope he didn't ship out.
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I've got a sinking feeling about this.. lets hope he is playing with an even deck
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No, just displaying MASTery of the subject.
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Glad you are on an even keel.
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Sure he is.
See how well he navigates this thread!
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I've got a sinking feeling about this...
Just sync your smartphone but don't ship out!
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We seem to be sailing close to the wind with this tack and much as I'd luff to go about my business I'd feel thwarted if I did so with no clew as to which port of call we might enter next. So let me be stern and stem the tide of bilge by pointing out that I am three sheets to the wind, as befits a tar on a friday, so I'll just cut adrift before anyone jibes about my inability to hold course. Aweigh, Master Bates!
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We seem to be sailing close to the wind with this tack and much as I'd luff to go about my business I'd feel thwarted if I did so with no clew as to which port of call we might enter next. So let me be stern and stem the tide of bilge by pointing out that I am three sheets to the wind, as befits a tar on a friday, so I'll just cut adrift before anyone jibes about my inability to hold course. Aweigh, Master Bates!
These women are proud and happy to present alancalverd with The 2013 Sailing Pun Award!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F192EFF33-BDDF-4DF8-8CBB-AD9921FE5A68-251-0000000B6C0BB735_zps0045a959.jpg&hash=2f9142f5cd483d01137d3266399bdced)
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I think National Novel Writing Month is a novel idea.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F18B4A39A-88A4-48D3-88B2-5999586C27B2-487-0000004D0E51E686_zps219abc50.jpg&hash=0a78f4b4fd2a618ddd2583890bf29e8f)
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I think National Novel Writing Month is a novel idea.
Old romance novelists never die, they just run out of steam.
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Cooee, 'tis I returned from the cold to annoy the pants off one and all.
Old romance novelists never die, they just run out of steam.
Julius & Mark Anthony..... They were old romans.
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No, just displaying MASTery of the subject.
I say, you there with the mast, is it for sale?
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I've got a sinking feeling about this...
Just sync your smartphone but don't ship out!
That's the trouble cell phone lines at sea, mine's cuttle the time.
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I think National Novel Writing Month is a novel idea.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F18B4A39A-88A4-48D3-88B2-5999586C27B2-487-0000004D0E51E686_zps219abc50.jpg&hash=0a78f4b4fd2a618ddd2583890bf29e8f)
Ah! The pie chart, some say it was Florence Nightingale who invented it, but come on now, play fair, it was William, Bill (US = check) to his friends and the waitress who served him with the pie.
BILL ??? CHECK??? No that bit just don't work at all, do it?!?!
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We seem to be sailing close to the wind with this tack and much as I'd luff to go about my business I'd feel thwarted if I did so with no clew as to which port of call we might enter next. So let me be stern and stem the tide of bilge by pointing out that I am three sheets to the wind, as befits a tar on a friday, so I'll just cut adrift before anyone jibes about my inability to hold course. Aweigh, Master Bates!
These women are proud and happy to present alancalverd with The 2013 Sailing Pun Award!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F192EFF33-BDDF-4DF8-8CBB-AD9921FE5A68-251-0000000B6C0BB735_zps0045a959.jpg&hash=2f9142f5cd483d01137d3266399bdced)
Shouldn't that be "sailing punt award"?
-
Oh Buoy! I'll take all four belles, thanks, though I may have to heave two in order to go about my business. Get my drift? Knot that I can fathom what this is all about, of course.
-
You mean, off course?
-
Oh Buoy! I'll take all four belles, thanks, though I may have to heave two in order to go about my business. Get my drift? Knot that I can fathom what this is all about, of course.
I am led to understand that one of these four belles is in fact your father's sister and that in the past she made regular appearances in 'top shelf' magazines. Do these facts mean that she is a sextaunt?
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You mean, off course?
He does appear to be all at sea.
-
Do these facts mean that she is a sex taunt?
No, that's more like a jibe at the size of your cox, or some other naughty-call insult.
-
No, just displaying MASTery of the subject.
I say, you there with the mast, is it for sale?
I think he will agree to sell if you make a firm offer to buoy.
-
Do these facts mean that she is a sex taunt?
No, that's more like a jibe at the size of your cox, or some other naughty-call insult.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fphoto-14.gif&hash=dfd390f7ba567482a65bd456c80ee6f1)
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Is this naval month or novel month...anvil vee go on forever???
-
Navel [e.g., gazing] Month is another option, I suppose.
-
on the button there.. waist not want not..
-
Do these facts mean that she is a sex taunt?
No, that's more like a jibe at the size of your cox, or some other naughty-call insult.
That's no way to conduct yourself if you want me to be your first mate.
You will have to pay me dearly now, so get out your purse err I mean wallet.
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No, just displaying MASTery of the subject.
I say, you there with the mast, is it for sale?
I think he will agree to sell if you make a firm offer to buoy.
Please don't wax me around the head with a floater, especially if its brown and while, in the harbour, the boats wane with the tide.
Permit me to explain myself:
Buoy = floater - floater/brown = brown floater, enough said.
wax = wacks, also wax and wane of the tide
boats wane - boatswain = higgs = Higgs Bosun = blood coming out of my ears = I've overdone it again.
-
on the button there.. waist not want not..
..... or a stitch in time.
Perhaps I should explain again, after all, I'm confusing myself!!!
Waist knot = stitch
-
Does the evidence in a stitch-up hang by a thread?
-
knotty problem there.. although I think the subject has been tangled somewhat
-
Knot a problem.
-
No, just displaying MASTery of the subject.
I say, you there with the mast, is it for sale?
I think he will agree to sell if you make a firm offer to buoy.
Please don't wax me around the head with a floater, especially if its brown and while, in the harbour, the boats wane with the tide.
Permit me to explain myself:
Buoy = floater - floater/brown = brown floater, enough said.
wax = wacks, also wax and wane of the tide
boats wane - boatswain = higgs = Higgs Bosun = blood coming out of my ears = I've overdone it again.
Buoy, does Don_1 ever deserve his Award [see pic below] for all that float work.
But it's not for sail!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2FADBD6D1C-CFE7-428D-816B-6310C0691F32_1.jpg&hash=40d6d2908107b56f068f80d09bdcbbfb)
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All this talk of sewing is giving me the needle.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2FADBD6D1C-CFE7-428D-816B-6310C0691F32_1.jpg&hash=40d6d2908107b56f068f80d09bdcbbfb)
I hate to think what that brown stuff in the water is. Whatever it may be, its big and seems to be attacking the marker buoy. If its a brown floater, whatever did it must have been huge. It must have had a whale of a time doing it.
Could it have been an accident, or was it done on porpoise?
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knotty problem there.. although I think the subject has been tangled somewhat
Knotty, ash (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knotty_Ash) a nuisance.
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Does the evidence in a stitch-up hang by a thread?
Yar never know.
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Just like the boogie, man.
-
Just like the boogie, man.
The Boogie Man??? Isn't that Demo?
-
I'll never tell.
-
knotty problem there.. although I think the subject has been tangled somewhat
Knotty, ash (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knotty_Ash) a nuisance.
Dis might lead us to di strictest kind of knotty Liverpool problems ever seen before!
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knotty problem there.. although I think the subject has been tangled somewhat
Knotty, ash (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/[b) a nuisance.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F129F6EFB-15C3-453F-A9EA-E666D5C9ADDD.jpg&hash=57335ba50733cddd7e35ccdaa23bc7b0)
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She who must be obeyed is no good at knitting or sewing, you can bank on that. (http://www.bankofengland.co.uk/about/Pages/default.aspx)
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So sorry, that pun was a bit on the cheap side (http://www.londontown.com/LondonStreets/cheapside_9cd.html/).
-
In the jewelery shop:
Which one would Sir care to look at?
That one on the very end, if you please.
Ah! The far ring Don (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Farringdon,_London) was looking at.
-
Just looking, not fingering?
-
In the jewelery shop:
Which one would Sir care to look at?
That one on the very end, if you please.
Ah! The far ring Don (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Farringdon,_London) was looking at.
Just looking, not fingering?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2FF0CC04E7-3E56-4054-9E00-48246CEE07CC.jpg&hash=6407a792c37fac07ba8fde4901fb054d)
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So sorry, that pun was a bit on the cheap side (http://www.londontown.com/LondonStreets/cheapside_9cd.html/).
Is there an expensive side?
-
In the jewelery shop:
Which one would Sir care to look at?
That one on the very end, if you please.
Ah! The far ring Don (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Farringdon,_London) was looking at.
Just looking, not fingering?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2FF0CC04E7-3E56-4054-9E00-48246CEE07CC.jpg&hash=6407a792c37fac07ba8fde4901fb054d)
Will you stop hanging teatowels there!!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flakelandcamel.scene7.com%2Fis%2Fimage%2FLakelandCamel%2F20005_1%3F%24800%24&hash=37eee704b970b46a34b2334a6dda48ef)
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So sorry, that pun was a bit on the cheap side (http://www.londontown.com/LondonStreets/cheapside_9cd.html/).
Is there an expensive side?
Oh yes, so expensive and snobbish people even put a hat on their Garden (http://hatton-garden-london.com/)
Not to mention dear park (http://www.olddeerpark.co.uk/)
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So sorry, that pun was a bit on the cheap side (http://www.londontown.com/LondonStreets/cheapside_9cd.html/).
Is there an expensive side?
Oh yes, so expensive and snobbish people even put a hat on their Garden (http://hatton-garden-london.com/)
What do you call the Garden Police?
Lawn and Order.
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I had to call the police to my garden because some of the flowers were stalking me, they just wouldn't leaf me alone. A detective rooted out the offenders and scent them to jail.
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I had to call the police to my garden because some of the flowers were stalking me, they just wouldn't leaf me alone. A detective rooted out the offenders and scent them to jail.
Don_1, only thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
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I had to call the police to my garden because some of the flowers were stalking me, they just wouldn't leaf me alone. A detective rooted out the offenders and scent them to jail.
Don_1, only thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
No shortage of that around here!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fphoto-14.gif&hash=dfd390f7ba567482a65bd456c80ee6f1)
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December, 2013 is:
National Tie Month
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F92A3001C-B25D-45A2-9725-AD6281A32570.jpg&hash=03be3e60800782a493e19cba02b116fa)
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Will the President be making an appearance today?
Aye ham shure yoou vill be vlad to hchear zat zer pchreesident vill be hcheer to ansver yoour qveschuns schortlee. Hche iss jusst putin on hchiss tie.
End of part one. to be continued....
-
Should we bow to this month then? I bet they'll be pleased in Windsor (http://www.tie-a-tie.net/windsor.html), well, at least half of them might be.
-
Part two......
Is the President coming or not?
Pchleeese be payschunt, hche iss jusst dohing up hchiss boot laces.
End of part two. to be continued.......
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I entered a competition to see who could do up their neckwear fastest, but it was a tie.
-
Part three.
Hchi am veery soorey ghentleemans, za Pchrezident vill noht be ayble to zee yoou tohday hafterhall.
I knew it, we've been stitched up like a kipper.
The End.
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The big problem with the world these days is nepotism and the 'old school tie' network.
-
In 2011 in Germany, the tie wearer of the year received a stainless steel tie made by......
ThyssenKrupp. (http://www.thyssenkrupp.com/en/presse/art_detail.html&eid=TKBase_1324286458178_1136804077)
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"How To Tie A Tie" Necktie
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA8DDDE42-FE12-4C22-A8D6-1D7D1BA157BC.jpg&hash=77cf6280acd4a1c3e32e19e984b8c057)
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I entered a competition to see who could do up their neckwear fastest, but it was a tie.
Don_1, a visiting dictator was really upset about your neckwear competition tie.
What a tie rant.
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Hche iss jusst putin on hchiss tie.
Or iss hche jusst...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FD072EE06-9352-4837-B27C-63C1FAF50361_3.jpg&hash=82b456d7713cfbf03ad96a6c32bcad3f)
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Is the President coming or not?
Pchleeese be payschunt, hche iss jusst dohing up hchiss boot laces.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fphoto-14.gif&hash=dfd390f7ba567482a65bd456c80ee6f1)
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Hche iss jusst putin on hchiss tie.
Or iss hche jusst...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FD072EE06-9352-4837-B27C-63C1FAF50361_3.jpg&hash=82b456d7713cfbf03ad96a6c32bcad3f)
Well, I can't top that.
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Ah! Good old Fred Astair, they don't make 'em like that any more, it seems to be escalat or be damned.
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Ah! Good old Fred Astair, they don't make 'em like that any more, it seems to be escalat or be damned.
I had amnesia and couldn't remember how to walk up the stairs, so I had to go back and learn step by step.
-
I'm surprised you remember that.
Did you ask your therapist "Am knees 'ere the best option when stair climbing?"
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I don't want to bring back painful memories, so I'll take care to tread carefully and try not to stare at you.
-
I thought we needed a young lad 'ere to help Demo climb, so I rung the hospital.
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Ah! Good old Fred Astair, they don't make 'em like that any more, it seems to be escalat or be damned.
I had amnesia and couldn't remember how to walk up the stairs, so I had to go back and learn step by step.
I'm surprised you remember that.
Did you ask your therapist "Am knees 'ere the best option when stair climbing?"
I did.
My therapist's reply:
"Forget it!"
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I thought we needed a young lad 'ere to help Demo climb, so I rung the hospital.
This reminds me of the time when I was up high on a ladder and I saw a beautiful girl below.
I fell for her.
-
I fell for her.
I hope you didn't damage your ardour!!!!
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I fell for her.
I hope you didn't damage your ardour!!!!
So very sorry, that's got nothing to do with punning, that's just plain & simple smut.
-
That's perfectly all right.
My ardor is intact [;D]
-
Ego: only slightly bruised [:)]
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I thought we needed a young lad 'ere to help Demo climb, so I rung the hospital.
Hmmm. That has a familiar ring to it.
I'm not sure if I've heard that hospital chime before, but it rings a bell.
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Ring Ring!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F615727CE-C294-4BCD-B992-A8017549F6A9.gif&hash=12655463e67ef3be753e7f72afc4b0a6)
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Good gracious! Its a jellyphone. Must be for the hard of hearing............
"Look, you'll have to speak up, I'm a triffle deaf."
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That's perfectly all right.
My ardor is intact [;D]
My ardour is in tact too, but it is a tad softer these days.
-
That's perfectly all right.
My ardor is intact [;D]
My ardour is in tact too, but it is a tad softer these days.
I once got hit in the head with a can of soda.
I was lucky it was a soft drink.
-
So da can be bad for your teeth.
-
ENGLISH:ENGLISH TRANSLATION 101
That's perfectly all right.
My ardor [US] is intact
My ardour [UK] is in tact...
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So da can be bad for your teeth.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB0A725D9-F527-4E5B-AF3F-ECC8369B6DD3.jpg&hash=ea1d6730cd9f67b09ed59f139aee98a8)
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I had a soft drink while catching up on the ironing.
It was soda pressing.
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Ah! Good old Fred Astair, they don't make 'em like that any more, it seems to be escalat or be damned.
Thanks Don, that pun gave me a real lift.
Did you know if you give a duck soda, they become forever pheasant?
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F22F7C80D-DB7F-43B6-ADF7-91EAE2F7E028.gif&hash=f642a02202c867fc964bd198362adb07)
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Did you know if you give a duck soda, they become forever pheasant?
Yes indeed, but they don't half grouse about it.
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I had a soft drink while catching up on the ironing.
It was soda pressing.
I hope you met all the chalanges this requires and when you were done you put it in the airing cupboard. You'd better have made a good job of it, Mrs Demo will not be pleased if there are steel creases in the clothes.
The last time I did some ironing, I was getting it all wrong and began to sweat profusely. The missus hurled expletives at me, saying "You're a tit an' u hum". She then gave a clip around the ear and my arse a nick.
This was blatant husband beating, so I called the coppers.
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Ah! Good old Fred Astair, they don't make 'em like that any more, it seems to be escalat or be damned.
Thanks Don, that pun gave me a real lift.
I see it as my job to elevat or be damned.
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I had a soft drink while catching up on the ironing.
It was soda pressing.
Tip for the day.
If you feel depressed you need deep rest.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F2013-09%2FD4513A11-2026-4F94-AAA0-F7283F6508A9.gif&hash=b98feaf33aeddeb1718e407fadd0da0e)
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I had a soft drink while catching up on the ironing.
It was soda pressing.
I hope you met all the chalanges this requires and when you were done you put it in the airing cupboard. You'd better have made a good job of it, Mrs Demo will not be pleased if there are steel creases in the clothes.
The last time I did some ironing, I was getting it all wrong and began to sweat profusely. The missus hurled expletives at me, saying "You're a tit an' u hum". She then gave a clip around the ear and my arse a nick.
This was blatant husband beating, so I called the coppers.
Don_1 wins yet another Irony Ironing Award!! <applause cue to freebie audience!>
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC75CCC07-4821-44AA-AB84-A9D90ABD1135.jpg&hash=314b05347453e777ae1bd03e21954fde)
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Mrs Demo will not be pleased if there are steel creases in the clothes.
Mrs Demo bought this drum for a great price, it was a steel.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFE73A7EE-DCDE-4681-950C-EC2518D5ADB4.gif&hash=a877b8638ba32e0e51c8e5c1b347380c)
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Curses! Mrs Demo beat me to it. Now I feel ensnared into replying. Of course you ket tle sorts of drums down tim pani alley, where I understand Mrs Demo aquired this drum. After some time browsing she said
"I've cym ball the drums available and now, as per cousin Cedric's advice have made my choice."
As she entered the shop, the sales man said,
"Hi, can I help you?"
Mrs Demo said,
"Hi that drum there, I would like to buy it for my old git husband. He will be playing it at a farewell party for his sister before she goes to the West Indies."
The salesman said,
"Jamaica?"
"No," retorted Mrs Demo, "She's going of her own accord."
"How did you find us Mrs Demo?"
"It was easy, I thought oil look you up on my tom-tom."
"Why don't you gar min to the office while wrap the drum?" Better still, I'll put it in a box. We don't the drum to roll away when you put it down.
-
Curses! Mrs Demo beat me to it. Now I feel ensnared into replying. Of course you ket tle sorts of drums down tim pani alley, where I understand Mrs Demo aquired this drum. After some time browsing she said
"I've cym ball the drums available and now, as per cousin Cedric's advice have made my choice."
As she entered the shop, the sales man said,
"Hi, can I help you?"
Mrs Demo said,
"Hi that drum there, I would like to buy it for my old git husband. He will be playing it at a farewell party for his sister before she goes to the West Indies."
The salesman said,
"Jamaica?"
"No," retorted Mrs Demo, "She's going of her own accord."
"How did you find us Mrs Demo?"
"It was easy, I thought oil look you up on my tom-tom."
"Why don't you gar min to the office while wrap the drum?" Better still, I'll put it in a box. We don't the drum to roll away when you put it down.
Don_1 wins this T-Shirt Award for Punning Excellence in the Drum Banging Dept.!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F4CD9990C-A57C-44C8-A64D-C7D4E5645E08.jpg&hash=13139c9f46adc6f656b73724a96fb967)
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As per cousin Cedric's advice I have made my choice."
The consequence of playing drums often is re-percussions.
-
"Jamaica?"
"No," retorted Mrs Demo, "She's going of her own accord."
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F2013-09%2FD4513A11-2026-4F94-AAA0-F7283F6508A9.gif&hash=b98feaf33aeddeb1718e407fadd0da0e)
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Tomorrow, December 20, is:
National Sangria Day
http://www.nationalsangriaday.com/
Sangria is a blood color. (Sangre means blood!)
We need math, not Sangria! (That's how to get an A+ blood reading) :)
-
If you pass out during a blood transfusion, you need rhesusitation. Then people send you a card(io) and flowers in a vase(cular).
-
If you pass out during a blood transfusion, you need rhesusitation. Then people send you a card(io) and flowers in a vase(cular).
Some cardiologists are heartless.
-
My chiropodist is foot loose & fancy free. Alas 'free' does not, however, describe his treatment.
-
Does he play footnotes on a shoehorn? Or is that a load of old cobblers?
-
My chiropodist is foot loose & fancy free. Alas 'free' does not, however, describe his treatment.
How absurd! He expects you to foot the bill???
[:0]
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Does he play footnotes on a shoehorn? Or is that a load of old cobblers?
A Demonic Cat Cobbler
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FADF33529-A09E-4B65-AA21-C0DBE87F7976.jpg&hash=349a10e8f91def118409386e679a9399)
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My chiropodist is foot loose & fancy free. Alas 'free' does not, however, describe his treatment.
How absurd! He expects you to foot the bill???
[:0]
Not only that, he expects me to toe the line.
I don't want to play ball with him any more, hee'l only let me down.
-
Does he play footnotes on a shoehorn? Or is that a load of old cobblers?
No, no, its quite true, and very soleful he plays to boot.
His music can be very toe nail.
He does expect other players to keep in step with him.
-
He has always said, his favourite composer is Schubert.
He will always play a piece by him toe cap off a gig.
Yes, he is, without doubt, a very straight laced person.
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Eye let you add to the above puns as you see fit, just don't poke your tongue out at me.
As for myself, I'm off for the Xmas holidays to restock my pun cupboard. Though there may be many a pun lurking in the dark corners, the fact is, they don't last forever.
So I bid you a happy Xmas holiday and a puntificacious new year. May your God(s) be with you.
Hohoho...........
-
Arch you putting a stocking up for Santa?
-
Arch you putting a stocking up for Santa?
I think Santa has riverfront property in Brazil.
All my presents came from Amazon this year.
-
My chiropodist is foot loose & fancy free. Alas 'free' does not, however, describe his treatment.
How absurd! He expects you to foot the bill???
[:0]
Not only that, he expects me to toe the line.
I don't want to play ball with him any more, hee'l only let me down.
We all kneel to your decision!
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Does he play footnotes on a shoe horn? Or is that a load of old cobblers?
He has always said, his favourite composer is Schubert.
But they say that Schumann is da mann.
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My friend, Diatrist, doesn't have a note to his name. Po' Diatrist.
-
My friend, Diatrist, doesn't have a note to his name. Po' Diatrist.
Po'Diatrist = Convicted Saudi shop lifter who must eat from a gazunder.
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Does he play footnotes on a shoe horn? Or is that a load of old cobblers?
He has always said, his favourite composer is Schubert.
But they say that Schumann is da mann.
Schu maker
-
Quote from Paris:
"Aye kill his heel".
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Happy new year to one & all.
Now, let's all have a new year punch up!
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Happy new year to one & all.
Now, let's all have a new year punch up!
My new year's resolution - - as a bankrupt gardener - - is to forget the past and rely on the fuchsia.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F1ADDF2B2-CE2C-4DB4-A8C0-CA345DF974BD.gif&hash=a2d90167eea6c1b246bd445b80813cfb)
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Happy new year to one & all.
Now, let's all have a new year punch up!
My new year's resolution - - as a bankrupt gardener - - is to forget the past and rely on the fuchsia.
"Hiya dranger"
"Hiya Cynthia"
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My new year resolution is to make more glue, and I intend on sticking to it.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F2013-09%2FD4513A11-2026-4F94-AAA0-F7283F6508A9.gif&hash=b98feaf33aeddeb1718e407fadd0da0e)
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My new year resolution is to make more glue, and I intend on sticking to it.
I didn't tell Mrs. Demo that I ate some of that tasty glue you made.
My lips are sealed.
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January, 2014 is:
Get Organized Month
Breaking News - Angry Villagers Organize. Storm White House.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2E4F2AD5-6687-4D5D-84AD-5C4CCF460143.jpg&hash=6f3aaed3e40adcb070864aae8b8d000a)
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"Hiya dranger"
Hydrangea quercifolia - - 'Harmony'
or
Golden Needle Hydrangea - Hydrangea aspera - - 'Golden Needle'
WHICH ONE?????
[;D]
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Did you hear the one about the Dendrite? It had an Axon to grind!
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"Hiya dranger"
Hydrangea quercifolia - - 'Harmony'
or
Golden Needle Hydrangea - Hydrangea aspera - - 'Golden Needle'
WHICH ONE?????
[;D]
As pera hydrageas go, these two are well suited.
Despite all the rain, walking through the woods, I noticed there's now drops around.
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Working in Paris last week at the Musée national de la Marine, I am rué to report that my best pun effort was (looking toward the Eiffel Tower), If that was made of sponge & jelly would it be called the triffel tower?
I think I'm going inSeine.
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By the way, can anyone enlighten me? Why could I find no mention of Trafalgar & Nelson at the Musée national de la Marine???
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I think I'm going inSeine.
If you jump off a Paris bridge, you're in Seine.
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Did you hear the one about the Dendrite? It had an Axon to grind!
Q. What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?
A. "Let's connect!"
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Good luck celling that line!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F2013-09%2FD4513A11-2026-4F94-AAA0-F7283F6508A9.gif&hash=b98feaf33aeddeb1718e407fadd0da0e)
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Despite all the rain, walking through the woods, I noticed there's now drops around.
When I forecast snow in the middle of July, people think I am a bit of a flake.
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As pera hydrageas go, these two are well suited.
As per annoy-ya takes over, these two eventually will come to believe that they are *not* well suited, but are both convinced deep down that each hydragea is diabolically plotting against the other!
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Working in Paris last week at the Musée national de la Marine, I am rué to report that my best pun effort was (looking toward the Eiffel Tower), If that was made of sponge & jelly would it be called the triffel tower?
A jelly truck and a biscuit truck collided yesterday - police are a trifle concerned.
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Good luck celling that line!
I was fired from my job selling amplifiers.
I didn't achieve the sufficient volume of sales.
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Working in Paris last week at the Musée national de la Marine, I am rué to report that my best pun effort was (looking toward the Eiffel Tower), If that was made of sponge & jelly would it be called the triffel tower?
A jelly truck and a biscuit truck collided yesterday - police are a trifle concerned.
Which truck creamed the other?
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Working in Paris last week at the Musée national de la Marine, I am rué to report that my best pun effort was (looking toward the Eiffel Tower), If that was made of sponge & jelly would it be called the triffel tower?
A jelly truck and a biscuit truck collided yesterday - police are a trifle concerned.
I heard it was a bomb, alas. Ka BOOM!
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Did it happen near puddington?
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Working in Paris last week at the Musée national de la Marine, I am rué to report that my best pun effort was (looking toward the Eiffel Tower), If that was made of sponge & jelly would it be called the triffel tower?
A jelly truck and a biscuit truck collided yesterday - police are a trifle concerned.
Which truck creamed the other?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fphoto-14.gif&hash=dfd390f7ba567482a65bd456c80ee6f1)
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Did it happen near puddington?
Is that in the des(s)ert?
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Sweet thought(s), Donnah! [:)]
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Working in Paris last week at the Musée national de la Marine, I am rué to report that my best pun effort was (looking toward the Eiffel Tower), If that was made of sponge & jelly would it be called the triffel tower?
A jelly truck and a biscuit truck collided yesterday - police are a trifle concerned.
I heard it was a bomb, alas. Ka BOOM!
Did it happen near puddington?
This is some pretty bomb...tapioca.
That's one way of pudding it!
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Yesterday my Venus Flytrap choked.... I had to give it the Hemlock maneuver!
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Yesterday my Venus Flytrap choked.... I had to give it the Hemlock maneuver!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F8DD04640-E399-47D5-9816-5867C85341D3.jpg&hash=3d6a587f166708ae9fffb4021f51cf56)
I'm moving!
Demo
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A rather shortlived species of gay dinosaur.... Tyrannosoreass Rex!
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Tyrannosoreass Rex
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FE09FCD3A-9964-48A6-AE14-0C54C2238D6B.jpg&hash=167f3a2e7ae0d7f668a8f2923f1f1e73)
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Tree-Rex ...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi4.mirror.co.uk%2Fincoming%2Farticle754895.ece%2FALTERNATES%2Fs615%2FA%2520property%2520manager%2520was%2520left%2520stunned%2520after%2520stumbling%2520across%2520this%2520tree%2520that%2520looks%2520like%2520a%2520giant%2520DINOSAUR-754895&hash=82b851660b89c503de11fdc013baf2bc)
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/dinosaur-discovered-in-norfolk-or-at-least-a-tree-755249
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Nice pic, RD!
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January, 2014, is:
International Creativity Month
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F383BC33B-A53A-4287-8B5E-3AE39DF623A8.jpg&hash=2c6e786a3188cb5f43108f060bdf1963)
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Do creative weather forecasters do a lot of brain storming?
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Do creative weather forecasters do a lot of brain storming?
By thunder they do and lightening quick at that.
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Tree-Rex ...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi4.mirror.co.uk%2Fincoming%2Farticle754895.ece%2FALTERNATES%2Fs615%2FA%2520property%2520manager%2520was%2520left%2520stunned%2520after%2520stumbling%2520across%2520this%2520tree%2520that%2520looks%2520like%2520a%2520giant%2520DINOSAUR-754895&hash=82b851660b89c503de11fdc013baf2bc)
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/dinosaur-discovered-in-norfolk-or-at-least-a-tree-755249
That's treemendous
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A rather shortlived species of gay dinosaur.... Tyrannosoreass Rex!
Terrance, the fella who was re-tiling our kitchen wall was good at his job, but rather short sighted. "Pterry,dactile is cracked." I told him.
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[ Invalid Attachment ]
Overheard in med school - 'I learned about the colon through the process of elimination.'
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Do creative weather forecasters do a lot of brain storming?
By thunder they do and lightning quick at that.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB6E53045-7607-4FC4-9A26-9D90B7468942_1.jpg&hash=d5c1205e821cc00b5893b513a1293160)
Played at weather forecasting conferences?
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January, 2014, is:
International Creativity Month
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F383BC33B-A53A-4287-8B5E-3AE39DF623A8.jpg&hash=2c6e786a3188cb5f43108f060bdf1963)
Do all bakers use pie charts in their business plans and models?
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Do all bakers use pie charts in their business plans and models?
Only if they are old tarts with makeup caked on their faces. The younger less crusty ones who no longer live for yeasterday tend to soak up modern technology like a sponge. Though it may cost them a good deal of dough, it usually proves to be the better option.
Yea, yea, yeah! wheatever you say. Have you been drinking? Are you a little tipsy?
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Q. What type of shoes do bakers wear?
A. Loafers.
Q. How do female bakers wear their hair?
A. In a bun.
Q. What do bakers do in their spare time?
A. Flour arranging.
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Q. What type of shoes do bakers wear?
A. Loafers.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F223A796C-8606-407E-971A-B561CC2ACF08_2.jpg&hash=84ff0d802d3ab54c4df8d13b5d83315d)
Q. How do female bakers wear their hair?
A. In a bun.
If you have sticky buns you shouldn't put pants on.
Q. What do bakers do in their spare time?
A. Flour arranging.
When baking dog biscuits, be sure to use collie flour!
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Do all bakers use pie charts in their business plans and models?
Only if they are old tarts with makeup caked on their faces. The younger less crusty ones who no longer live for yeasterday tend to soak up modern technology like a sponge. Though it may cost them a good deal of dough, it usually proves to be the better option.
Yea, yea, yeah! wheatever you say. Have you been drinking? Are you a little tipsy?
For Don_1!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F73F50339-B07A-423A-AFDD-E63B73B83B6B.png&hash=b6daa96c886f55eaad6624def9fbddf3)
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January, 2014, is:
International Creativity Month
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F4370FF16-DC2D-4B61-948E-1D9F867D09CC.jpg&hash=b42230c6db7c74289f8898b37fe9c69e)
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January, 2014, is:
International Creativity Month
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F834177B7-5EA8-4ED6-8502-2CB4B69BBE48.jpg&hash=2763d034fa15c37c3ef4ecc48fa05e01)
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February, 2014 is:
Dog Training Education Month
http://www.dog-obedience-training-review.com/c/february-dog-training-education-month
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F12DA41CA-2B20-455D-AD28-B1590C9DC88B_1.jpg&hash=2aca3d708eb0d010152a786d8e53d3c1)
I trained my dog to hunt for underground mushrooms but now he's more truffle than he's worth.
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Toilet humour?
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F2013-09%2FD4513A11-2026-4F94-AAA0-F7283F6508A9.gif&hash=b98feaf33aeddeb1718e407fadd0da0e)
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Toilet humor? Well, a few years back, Johnny Carson (yes, I'm that old) had to sue to persuade a Porta-Potty outfit not to use Heeere's Johnny! as their business name.
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I'm thinking there may be considerable resistance from the Catholic community if anyone were to try and start a Porta-Potty business called Vati-Can!
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More creatively, I would opt for Obamas original campaign slogan as the ultimate, the YesWe-Can!
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Can you think of any others?
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Toilet humor? Well, a few years back, Johnny Carson (yes, I'm that old) had to sue to persuade a Porta-Potty outfit not to use Heeere's Johnny! as their business name.
He should have sued like Chubby did ... http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-21471967
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Hah! That's hilarious RD!
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He should have sued like Chubby did ... http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-21471967
Hey wait a minute! I looked at the link RD.... "Rock'n'roll singer Chubby Checker is suing HP over an app that used his name as a euphemism for penis size. The Chubby Checker app that appeared on websites for Palm OS devices claimed to guess the intimate measurement based on shoe size. Lawyers acting for the singer are seeking $500 million in compensation, saying the app has done irreparable damage to his reputation."
I don't understand, if the size of ones manhood corresponds to ones shoe size....
Wouldn't that have enhanced his reputation?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpicasion.com%2Fpic76%2F4dbed4f833cd1ee85957bf95b949f0b7.gif&hash=c72f33e70182078924ccf9104d3d0a49)
You have to admit, that mans got a lot of sole!.... I think if he wanted a job as the spokesperson for Viagra he'd be a real shoe in!
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I'm thinking there may be considerable resistance from the Catholic community if anyone were to try and start a Porta-Potty business called Vati-Can!
No resistance.
As long as it's clean and uses wholly water (no impure elements).
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I'm thinking there may be considerable resistance from the Catholic community if anyone were to try and start a Porta-Potty business called Vati-Can!
No resistance.
As long as it's clean and uses wholly water (no impure elements).
I think you may be over anal-ylzing it.
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We really need to look at the end result.
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I'm thinking there may be considerable resistance from the Catholic community if anyone were to try and start a Porta-Potty business called Vati-Can!
No resistance.
As long as it's clean and uses wholly water (no impure elements).
I think you may be over anal-ylzing it.
You're right: overanalysis can lead to paralysis.
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We really need to look at the end result.
To me the end result of a can-do attitude is positively candid.
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He should have sued like Chubby did ... http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-21471967
Hey wait a minute! I looked at the link RD.... "Rock'n'roll singer Chubby Checker is suing HP over an app that used his name as a euphemism for penis size. The Chubby Checker app that appeared on websites for Palm OS devices claimed to guess the intimate measurement based on shoe size. Lawyers acting for the singer are seeking $500 million in compensation, saying the app has done irreparable damage to his reputation."
I don't understand, if the size of ones manhood corresponds to ones shoe size....
Wouldn't that have enhanced his reputation?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpicasion.com%2Fpic76%2F4dbed4f833cd1ee85957bf95b949f0b7.gif&hash=c72f33e70182078924ccf9104d3d0a49)
You have to admit, that mans got a lot of sole!.... I think if he wanted a job as the spokesperson for Viagra he'd be a real shoe in!
Aemilius wins this Checkers Punning Award!
(Automatic Checkers Player -- battery not included!)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2725ECF0-D20D-4362-A460-2B08870042A0.gif&hash=cbb785aec13cf5c49dbd744c4837f5ae)
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Surprising really in view of my checkered past.... I feel like such a heel!
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Checkers was invented starting at square one.
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A rather shortlived species of gay dinosaur.... Tyrannosoreass Rex!
Terrance, the fella who was re-tiling our kitchen wall was good at his job, but rather short sighted. "Pterry,dactile is cracked." I told him.
Terrance replied: "Look, Dino - er, I mean Don_1, sorry, but birds like us need to stick together...and not accuse each other of being a craock o' tile!"
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F9447A3C3-7274-496E-B425-5AC6955A7B88.jpg&hash=5e6d25793486ae4bd9a9140592e05028)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F6E09B032-20AB-4953-8C63-FB844A78439A.jpg&hash=0e62d2e4fbf28051fc019ae398ae72b3)
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I feel like such a heel!
Don't!
You're always toegether with us in improving the legwork of this thread!
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Hah! I sense a running theme developing here.... with 278428 views this thread already has quite a footprint!
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Hah! I sense a running theme developing here.... with 278428 views this thread already has quite a footprint!
I can't recall the last time I did any running, but I've been jogging my memory.
Memory Fail
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0266CF26-D47E-4336-8DEE-408D024AA4F4.jpg&hash=52a9ec7ffef21e5656d380b480c43a02)
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Toilet humour?
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Should we eliminate (pun intended) toilet humor?
Or do we need to have a birthday potty celebration?[:)]
RSVP
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Should we eliminate (pun intended) toilet humor?
Please, let's not go there, I just couldn't bear it! I'm against any dia-log here, freedom of speech is protected by an important document called....
....the Constipation of the United States of America
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpicasion.com%2Fpic76%2Fbf904188aae285fd7ed743c5500ab003.gif&hash=64718cdddaf1d9cbfe39a4dad0cf9961)
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We even named a ship after it. I believe her Captain was a Rear Admiral....
....The USS Constipation
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpicasion.com%2Fpic76%2Fd00f3350819f1e4bbac2807888d8c5bf.gif&hash=a45e801c665aa2eb688afd68d52d564d)
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I'm for anything here as long as it doesn't makes us look like asses!
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Did you hear about the fight at a local Laundromat?
A washing machine beat the crap out of a diaper.
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Sounds like it was a good clean fight.
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One might even say that the diaper is all washed up!
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Sounds like it was a good clean fight.
Reminds me of a man who stole a case of soap from the corner store. The police said he made a clean getaway.
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I'm sure the theft was by design. Criminals are known to be very slippery individuals!
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Reminds me of a man who stole a case of soap from the corner store.
If he gets caught he could spend time behind bars!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F2013-09%2FD4513A11-2026-4F94-AAA0-F7283F6508A9.gif&hash=b98feaf33aeddeb1718e407fadd0da0e)
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Did you hear about the fight at a local Laundromat?
A washing machine beat the crap out of a diaper.
One might even say that the diaper is all washed up!
Sounds like it was a good clean fight.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F6783E6B5-8F0C-481B-BDA7-D6A955FEE4BD_2.jpg&hash=b2baac95bd0e652a882153268942546a)
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....and no hitting below where your belt should be.
I don't think a belt would help the fellow on the left.... it looks like his knees are already buckled!
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Odd that they don't have more complete uniforms.... they must have been really strapped for cash!
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Looking at the bare breasted woman.... I could use a belt myself!
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....and no hitting below where your belt should be.
I don't think a belt would help the fellow on the left.... it looks like his knees are already buckled!
Odd that they don't have more complete uniforms.... they must have been really strapped for cash!
In order to help this cash-strapped community, what if he wore a cardboard belt?
Nah. That would be a waist of paper.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FF27C3164-461D-49C3-A4ED-6D4592DFB9C9.jpg&hash=0d80ee8caecf10062a508109fea090ae)
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Looks like a nice girl from what I can see.... What if anything is known about her jean-etic endowment?
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I think I see now where the guy who invented Air Bags got the idea!
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Physically she's a good specimen too.... definitely the kind of shape I'd like to be in!
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Alright, the truth is I'd go out with her no matter what her background was.... looks like I'm busted!
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I know if she got pregnant.... I'd do everything in my power to support them both!
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I'd even bring her flowers every day.... I'll bet her favorite is Honey-suckle!
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I could have used her help on the swim team in high school.... I really struggled with the breast stroke!
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Looks like a nice girl from what I can see.... What if anything is known about her jean-etic endowment?
I think I see now where the guy who invented Air Bags got the idea!
Physically she's a good specimen too.... definitely the kind of shape I'd like to be in!
Alright, the truth is I'd go out with her no matter what her background was.... looks like I'm busted!
I know if she got pregnant.... I'd do everything in my power to support them both!
I'd even bring her flowers every day.... I'll bet her favorite is Honey-suckle!
I could have used her help on the swim team in high school.... I really struggled with the breast stroke!
Aemilius once again wins a Breast Punning Award: a date with "Best Breasts At Academy Awards"
But will you date the rest of her, too???
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFBDB8020-F0F7-4D30-9D27-4B88BC428D07.jpg&hash=585cb42658f2b8e1c8c46e6b01b1798e)
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But will you date the rest of her, too???
I'd certainly be willing to explore that.... I've always taken a broad approach to relationships.
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I think I like the first one better though.... I could tell right away by her bra size that she's just my cup of tea!
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Yeah, it's definitely the first one.... she just seems so much more well rounded than the other one.
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Aemilius' request to Committee has been granted:
Approved: Punning Date Award _switched_ from Ms. Oscar to Ms BeltUp aka HugeOnes. They have been notified by Twitter.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FF27C3164-461D-49C3-A4ED-6D4592DFB9C9.jpg&hash=0d80ee8caecf10062a508109fea090ae)
Owned by Ae!
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Thanks, I wish I could accept the award but the truth is.... I heard all those jokes years ago on the boob-tube!
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Thanks, I wish I could accept the award but the truth is.... I heard all those jokes years ago on the boob-tube!
I used to repair boob-tubes, but my business went down the tubes!
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As Don_1 indicates, television sets in Britain have to cross the English Channel.
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I used to repair boob-tubes, but my business went down the tubes!
That's the thing about the old vacuum tube technology.... it really sucked!
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I remember taking apart a TV once that I forgot to unplug.... I was shocked to discover what really makes them work!
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I actually remember the first show I saw in color, it was a real last minute cliffhanger of a football game.... I was electrified!
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I even saw a Tesla coil once on TV.... it was a really stunning display!
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The overall quality of TV programming has definitely declined though.... much of it is simply re-volt-ing!
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I remember taking apart a TV once that I forgot to unplug.... I was shocked to discover what really makes them work!
The overall quality of TV programming has definitely declined though.... much of it is simply re-volt-ing!
Some folks are revolted by, have resistance to and find shocking watt is charged in our ohms for the use of electric current.
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Then there's the one about the drawing of the cartoon character that almost seemed to move.... It was in a state of suspected animation!
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Happy Valentine's Day!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FE61130F5-0A4D-4FF2-98A1-4A7FD9C1B07C.jpg&hash=f7594ecd3e0a048bc9a7ec31e2f1c8aa)
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How about that botched 9/11 investigation and cover-up, it was a clear case of....
....Gorillas in the NIST !
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpicasion.com%2Fpic76%2F9d0c81cd17db18a524694319d05cabd5.gif&hash=5b987eb8ffff42b86e033d59112ff426)
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A guy got his big toe blown off taking a shortcut accross his new neighbors property. They seemed friendly enough when they moved in... he really didn't think they'd mined at all!
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He'll definitely be on his toes whenever dealing with them in the future!
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If it were me.... I'd be watching every step they take!
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People are crazy these days, I'm telling you .... almost anything can set them off!
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He won't allow his children to play with the new neighbors children anymore either.... he's really put his foot down this time!
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Favorite flower of the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.... the Pentagon-ia!
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The guy who raised the "Stars and Stripes" each morning at the Pentagon had to be replaced.... his enthusiasm for the job was flagging!
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The nations largest manufacturer of American Flags has announced layoffs.... they'll only be able to work at half staff!
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A fight broke out after a perfectly fair race between two spotted leopards.... the winner was accused of being a cheetah!
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The accusing leopard ultimately relented though after reviewing the video several times.... seeing that had really given him paws!
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My bookie always has the inside dope on which cat will win, so when he called.... I really pounced on the opportunity!
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I wasn't mistaken either. The competition was fierce but.... I really made a killing!
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the winner was accused of being a cheetah!
Someone should have spotted that before they started.
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Well someone did spot it, but spectators couldn't address the Judges directly.... it was some kind of claws in their contract!
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This thread has been going a long time. That's because old threads don't die, they just get weft alone.
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Yeah, demografx started it and really became obsessed, for some reason.... he just couldn't weave things as they were.
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I think he expected to be made a Moderator for all his efforts here.... but the Site Administrator told him it did knot count!
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He was so upset at first he went out and got drunk.... later he was seen weaving in the middle of a busy street and got a ticket.
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I tried to tell him in a Private Message it wasn't worth coming unravelled over.
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Personally, I think he should just selvedge what he can from the whole experience and move on.
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I don't care what anyone says, the fact that he's lasted so long on the Forum is a testament to his rugged determination.
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A little thread drift could take us into string theory.
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Someone is bound to say that would make his brane hurt.
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A little thread drift could take us into string theory.
The Moderators are pretty strict.... I'm a-frayed that might be a little risky!
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Speaking of the brain, how about the climatologist who, after a hemispherectomy.... lost his ability to consider the issues globally.
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It looks like we're heading toward physiology in general, I'm sure you've heard the one about the lung specialist diagnosed with chronic pleuritis.... it essentially ended his professional aspirations!
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Then there's the case of the fetus that showed signs of having prematurely developed wisdom teeth.... it was considered to be a molar pregnancy!
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There's the proctologist that was diagnosed with tunnel vision.
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There's the proctologist that was diagnosed with tunnel vision.
Recycling old puns, I see![;D]
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sphsupplies.co.uk%2Fproduct_images%2Fv%2F047%2Flong_gl__68168_zoom.jpg&hash=47b1c5545222d626fa9dc15dafb1e666) You keep away from me........ HELP! Let me outa here!!!! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fkathsfunnylittlelife.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Fpanic-smiley.gif&hash=5c008640bd19b471d2ad23f96686fdca)
Don't worry, Don_1, the proctologist finally just now quit his job because it gave him tunnel vision.
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I tried to tell him in a Private Message it wasn't worth coming unravelled over.
I received no private message from you. Keep it real.
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I think he expected to be made a Moderator for all his efforts...
Get facts straight please. I've been a Moderator at POIS thread (still am as of today) since 2007.
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Recycling old puns, I see![;D]
Hah! Didn't see that.... Are you going to take away my trophy?
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I received no private message from you. Keep it real.
Right, sorry. Good to see you back.... I was just thinking during target practice the other day how much I've missed you!
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Get facts straight please. I've been a Moderator at POIS thread (still am as of today) since 2007.
Oops, sorry about that. Yes, I've seen the thread, very difficult.... How do you handle yourself with such uncanny poise?
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The POIS thread is interesting, but I probably won't read the whole thing.... too much logical phallus-y!
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I hope they find a cure for POIS.... the people who suffer from it would be able to start a whole new wife for themselves!
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It's certainly a lengthy discussion, I have an opinion about POIS but I don't think I'll insert myself into the conversation, there have been way too many ups and downs.... I'd probably just get frustrated and pull out!
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Anyway, sorry again about that POIS moderator remark I made earlier.... I hope there are no hard feelings!
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Maybe I misunderstood.... Are you still the Moderator of the POIS thread or did you have a sex change? Your last post there says [Former Moderator visiting period-ically]!
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I wish you well for 2014.
Demo
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Oh, a wishing well, that's cleverly coined!
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Thank you, Donnah [;D]
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You're well-come. I'll take buckets of water over bits of coin any day.
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You're well-come. I'll take buckets of water over bits of coin any day.
Anything I say will pail in comparison, but I wanted to cash in all the same.
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You're well-come. I'll take buckets of water over bits of coin any day.
Anything I say will pail in comparison, but I wanted to cash in all the same.
Jack and Jill is the best nursery rhyme as others pail in comparison, and your cashing in is totally appropriate! [:)]
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So....at this time, should we expect another blitzkrieg of wonderful, unilateral humor? [;D]
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Unilateral "up the hill" humour for youngsters, but we need bilateral "over the hill" humour to include those of us that are oldsters.
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[edit]
"So....at this time, should we expect another blitzkrieg of wonderful, unilateral, PETTY humor sarcasm?" [;D]
Unilateral "up the hill" humour for youngsters, but we need bilateral "over the hill" humour to include those of us that are oldsters.
Thanks again, Donnah!
You are The Punning Queen Of All Time! [:)]
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Unilateral "up the hill" humour for youngsters, but we need bilateral "over the hill" humour to include those of us that are oldsters.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA79AF06F-B031-4207-B94D-01D03233D065_1.png&hash=883d371439da5362a9f3d00b7b398b8a)
Over the hill or over the edge??
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I'm not very hungry, but that gives me an idea for dinner....
....I think I'll just have a little fillet of sole!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpicasion.com%2Fpic76%2Fbce094c60ce6fd63157f295a0482478a.gif&hash=fe7888701b954bcc2f9cbb679db2c7c2)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F8056795C-D650-4794-9471-925762DC7642.jpg&hash=6544ec0d0722b0567025a9722736c488)
I'll take that over sole food any day of da week!
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Sounds good, but I'm really hooked on fish, so I think I'll call my friend Diane. We formed a little neighborhood cooking club a while back....
....she has a great recipe for battered fish!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.picasion.com%2Fpic76%2F3a74a61004fe309726b812b7d667a1c9.gif&hash=947a3b7ce3be214af0ba3aaa23d199f2)
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Aemilius...if u insist on eating fish and chips every day, you must certainly know by now that your stomach is bound to take a battering!
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Well, I'm afraid that's all I have in the fridge.... it's batter than nothing!
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Try baseball.
It's a batter game!
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Aemilius...if u insist on eating fish and chips every day, you must certainly know by now that your stomach is bound to take a battering!
I know what you mean though about the fish. I should be more careful considering all the toxins in them these days.... the way I decide what foods are best has always been a bit mercury-al!
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Try baseball.
It's a batter game!
Proof: A new batter joined my baseball team, and he was a real hit.
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Yeah, baseball is fine.... but I've always been a soccer for football myself.
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My wife and I used to get together with friends on the weekend to play baseball but we had to stop.... she didn't like the swinger lifestyle.
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We tried golf too but had to stop because she thought one of the women golfers had the hots for me.... she kept following me around the course asking if she could borrow my putter!
-
My wife even accused me of cheating on her with the woman golfer. When I asked her how she knew.... she said a little birdie told her!
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She was right too, the woman was actually a prostitute. I'll tell you, I've had a few good games of golf over the years.... but that was the only time I ever made a ho' in one!
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So....at this time, should we expect another blitzkrieg of wonderful, unilateral humor? [;D]
I hope that's the kind of blitzkrieg you meant. I don't want to irritate you again like I did earlier.... Do you think those last few posts were german-e to the conversation?
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Try baseball.
It's a batter game!
Proof: A new batter joined my baseball team, and he was a real hit.
I hear your team has gone on strike.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpicasion.com%2Fpic76%2Fbce094c60ce6fd63157f295a0482478a.gif&hash=fe7888701b954bcc2f9cbb679db2c7c2)
'Er indoors tried on a pair of shoes like these, but she couldn't get her whole foot in. still a toe should be enough.
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I think they were called platform soles and it took a deal of training to walk in them. I did find a bigger pair and thought diesel fitter.
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You could be on the right track there, but don't expect to railroad anyone into accepting your points.
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You could be on the right track there, but don't expect to railroad anyone into accepting your points.
Having been a sleeper, lurking unseen in the background for some time, I get the feeling you think I have sent out the wrong signals.
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Speaking of signals I was going to use semaphore for this post until I realised I have a bogie on my handkerchief.
[ Invalid Attachment ] [ Invalid Attachment ] [ Invalid Attachment ] [ Invalid Attachment ] [ Invalid Attachment ]
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpicasion.com%2Fpic76%2Fbce094c60ce6fd63157f295a0482478a.gif&hash=fe7888701b954bcc2f9cbb679db2c7c2)
simpimply mahvelous dahling ... http://youtu.be/h0cfsHGjC_g?t=39s (http://youtu.be/h0cfsHGjC_g?t=39s)
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I let out a soulful, soleful cry to see goldfish treated that way. Species discrimination! (I actually do raise goldfish in our pond.)
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I let out a soulful, soleful cry to see goldfish treated that way. Species discrimination! (I actually do raise goldfish in our pond.)
Making Some Goldfish for Donnah:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA85747F9-6D32-4860-8D31-BE5FE57C163F.gif&hash=23773080b31738cb884adff27b9d2e9e)
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That's a cheesy trick: crack(er)ed me up though.
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That's a cheesy trick: crack(er)ed me up though.
I made a really cheesy pun about quesadillas the other day.
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I think they were called platform soles and it took a deal of training to walk in them. I did find a bigger pair and thought diesel fitter.
DIESEL BE YET ANOTHER PUNNING AWARD FOR DON_1:
ALL YOU CAN EAT!!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F329EB975-1595-48EC-8969-1813535E3435.gif&hash=0d366f01ba9bbfa0ed4a0d721c0d6ed3)
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H A P P Y
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F89D3283A-3EC0-4D75-9F23-AA8C607339A9.jpg&hash=d57cce6244ff2c0e5d3339c4a230742b)
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That's a cheesy trick: crack(er)ed me up though.
Studying earthquakes rocks, but sometimes it is not always what it is cracked up to be.
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Diesel fried chicken…yum!!! Does the chicken fry on top of the lorry's oil pan?
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Underneath, I think, Donnah...
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Underneath, I think, Donnah...
Ah ha! Then that must be sumptuous.
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I think they were called platform soles and it took a deal of training to walk in them. I did find a bigger pair and thought diesel fitter.
You could be on the right track there, but don't expect to railroad anyone into accepting your points.
Aww, Bill, give Don_1 a brake!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F329EB975-1595-48EC-8969-1813535E3435.gif&hash=0d366f01ba9bbfa0ed4a0d721c0d6ed3)
Diesel fried chicken…yum!!! Does the chicken fry on top of the lorry's oil pan?
Underneath, I think, Donnah...
Ah ha! Then that must be sumptuous.
They also offer an alternate selection:
CHICKEN SUSHI SANDWICH!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FBEEE8AFE-A9FA-474C-8A81-7980EB3C4E02_1.jpg&hash=0aad389313b66814d792e42ab1af06bc)
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Must be Easter but the bunny kept the egg a little too long.
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Must be Easter but the bunny kept the egg a little too long.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F2013-09%2FD4513A11-2026-4F94-AAA0-F7283F6508A9.gif&hash=b98feaf33aeddeb1718e407fadd0da0e)
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April, 2014 is:
Amateur Radio Month
http://www.friendshipandgoodwill.org/observances.html
Did you know that the two inventors of the radio were on the same wavelength?
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April, 2014 is:
Amateur Radio Month
http://www.friendshipandgoodwill.org/observances.html
Did you know that the two inventors of the radio were on the same wavelength?
I suppose they would have been in tune with each other. It is said of some that they were from the same mould. These two weren't quite so alike, but they could have been said to have been from the same broad cast.
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Would "di" be a good name for a Welsh radio engineer?
His adverts could read:
"Di 'll fix it."
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Must be Easter but the bunny kept the egg a little too long.
No, its just the latest in chique outwear.
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Must be Easter but the bunny kept the egg a little too long.
A radio personality in an Easter parade gave a short wave.
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Would "di" be a good name for a Welsh radio engineer?
His adverts could read:
"Di 'll fix it."
If I used that name -- with all my inexperience -- my adverts would read:
"You'll die before I fix it!"
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Would "di" be a good name for a Welsh radio engineer?
His adverts could read:
"Di 'll fix it."
If I used that name -- with all my inexperience -- my adverts would read:
"You'll die before I fix it!"
A man after my own heart.
Do
In
Years to come.
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Must be Easter but the bunny kept the egg a little too long.
A radio personality in an Easter parade gave a short wave.
I suppose you just couldn't resistor that.
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Must be Easter but the bunny kept the egg a little too long.
A radio personality in an Easter parade gave a short wave.
I suppose you just couldn't resistor that.
If I had a sister, and she had gender confusion issues, would she be a tran sister???
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Resurrecting that Welshman, Di, again for a moment, I wrote a poem about. It was a Di ode.
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I saw a man deliberately sit on a hat. When I told the owner of the afore mentioned headgear, he said, "Oh yes, that's ok, when I am not wearing it I employ him as a cap a sitter.
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I resistor any defamatory remark, deserved or otherwise!
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Resurrecting that Welshman, Di, again for a moment, I wrote a poem about. It was a Di ode.
I saw a man deliberately sit on a hat. When I told the owner of the afore mentioned headgear, he said, "Oh yes, that's ok, when I am not wearing it I employ him as a cap a sitter.
April, 2014 is:
Amateur Radio Month
http://www.friendshipandgoodwill.org/observances.html
Did you know that the two inventors of the radio were on the same wavelength?
I suppose they would have been in tune with each other. It is said of some that they were from the same mould. These two weren't quite so alike, but they could have been said to have been from the same broad cast.
Awarded to Don_1:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F663F5C61-9FD1-4DF2-9B6F-322F57973DE8_2.jpg&hash=0a59c03ae2a4ce0bcc7db967b5a8a208)
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Today, April 16, 2014, is:
Save The Elephant Day
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F87C917DA-BD5F-496B-B23C-B0F90641C1FC.gif&hash=c9fe2bcc047282e4316239c4e9e27b83)
"Oh For Crying Out Loud, Just Let Me Do It!"
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I think Jumbo has given his keeper the brush off.
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I think Jumbo has given his keeper the brush off.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB3101493-0350-424A-8D1C-BA5D76F6A8DF.gif&hash=5e8f5c309a998237fb45d7e2cc6be4cd)
To Don _1: "Don , this is my story and I'm sticking to it !!
yours,
Felix"
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB3101493-0350-424A-8D1C-BA5D76F6A8DF.gif&hash=5e8f5c309a998237fb45d7e2cc6be4cd)
To Don _1: "Don , this is my story and I'm sticking to it !!
yours,
Felix"
Well, it would be true to say we all have our foi bals.
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Speaking of fur balls, here are some fur balls and some near balls:-
[diagram=731_0]
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F2012-04%2F6F07A4B2-0FFB-418F-8EED-C562E5709761.gif&hash=5359eeea364c479e079234735414feeb)
"Fur balls and near balls!"
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Excuse Me?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2AECC2D3-B1B3-4F56-9868-3D43CAEA22CA.jpg&hash=c4c6a7808345d057cbc391b2245c3e62)
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Excuse Me?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2AECC2D3-B1B3-4F56-9868-3D43CAEA22CA.jpg&hash=c4c6a7808345d057cbc391b2245c3e62)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-excited001.gif&hash=8a90acae0f7ff56de89796e642cec91b) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Me, me (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-excited001.gif&hash=8a90acae0f7ff56de89796e642cec91b) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Once a year, me me, yes, me!!! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Fhappy%2Fhappy-guys-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=c4a36840fa798fa5b24c8e9c71a7e1fa)
So why are you so happy? (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileyshack.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F12%2Fsconfused_100-134.gif%3Fw%3D20%26amp%3Bh%3D20&hash=2d4d3c9332cef2b84412b6325bcca0b4)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-excited001.gif&hash=8a90acae0f7ff56de89796e642cec91b) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Tonight's the night!!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileyshack.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F12%2Fspointing_above_100-100.gif%3Fw%3D47%26amp%3Bh%3D34&hash=29d837fb02e5a83247548e26e58346f2)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-excited001.gif&hash=8a90acae0f7ff56de89796e642cec91b) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Me, me (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-excited001.gif&hash=8a90acae0f7ff56de89796e642cec91b) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Once a year, me me, yes, me!!! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Fhappy%2Fhappy-guys-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=c4a36840fa798fa5b24c8e9c71a7e1fa)
So why are you so happy? (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileyshack.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F12%2Fsconfused_100-134.gif%3Fw%3D20%26amp%3Bh%3D20&hash=2d4d3c9332cef2b84412b6325bcca0b4)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-excited001.gif&hash=8a90acae0f7ff56de89796e642cec91b) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Tonight's the night!!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileyshack.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F12%2Fspointing_above_100-100.gif%3Fw%3D47%26amp%3Bh%3D34&hash=29d837fb02e5a83247548e26e58346f2)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA0C3F644-CEA7-477C-8AAC-C5BD946C3451.gif&hash=49d6ed7196bd343f42c63f8ef91bf368)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FDB4F2E6C-0462-43D7-9DD7-F81A56DD93E2.jpg&hash=436117d64e81ad8bcbb3b0e9b31294d1)
Or Something Like That !
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Today, April 23, 2014 is:
English Language Day
http://www.un.org/en/events/englishlanguageday/index.shtml
I wish I knew English sign language, it's pretty handy.
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I woz leernd inglisch wen I woz at skoool. nah I kan speek reed an rite it flooentlie
I ave bin toled vat I ofen speek dubol duch sew I woz wundrin if vat meenz I kan speek free langwidges.
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I wish I knew English sign language, it's pretty handy.
I was going to give you a few examples, but I don't want you think I'm trying to palm you off.
As I don't use sign language as a general rule of thumb, I am finding it hard to put my finger on the correct signage.
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I wonder if they will celebrate English language day at Oxford University???
If the Chancellor of Oxford University were to be removed from his position on the grounds of mental instability, could it be said that he would have lost control of his faculties ?
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I wish I knew English sign language, it's pretty handy.
I was going to give you a few examples, but I don't want you think I'm trying to palm you off.
As I don't use sign language as a general rule of thumb, I am finding it hard to put my finger on the correct signage.
Just create a signage index and write it on the middle of your pinky so you won't forget it.
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Just create a signage index and write it on the middle of your pinky so you won't forget it.
By Jove, I think you've hit the nail on the head there Demo. It certainly has a ring of good sense about it.
Will you be offering further good advice, or will you wrist your case there. If need be, I can always throw you a life line.
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Just create a signage index and write it on the middle of your pinky so you won't forget it.
By Jove, I think you've hit the nail on the head there Demo. It certainly has a ring of good sense about it.
Will you be offering further good advice, or will you wrist your case there. If need be, I can always throw you a life line.
"...offering further good advice..."????
C'mon, Don_1, you should know me well enough by now to know that I would rather not so much as even lift a finger!
Oh, and when you visit, don't forget to wash yourself after desert in the finger bowl right behind you.
And don't you even think of laying a finger on my wife. we'll both shake our fingers at you for attempting that!
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And don't you even think of laying a finger on my wife. we'll both shake our fingers at you for attempting that!
What can I say??? Such a fing erm......... never even crossed my mind.
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C'mon, Don_1, you should know me well enough by now to know that I would rather not so much as even lift a finger!
Oh, and when you visit, don't forget to wash yourself after desert in the finger bowl right behind you.
And don't you even think of laying a finger on my wife. we'll both shake our fingers at you for attempting that!
I suppose we should be thankful that you didn't mention Fingers Malone when you knuckled down to write that.
I'm not going to take a hard copy of this post, I can do without a finger print. I'll just make do with a digital copy.
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The beautiful young lady receptionist at the hotel rang me to say that my room booking had been confirmed. Now that's what I term as a cutie call.
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LOOK OUT EVERYBODY, Demo is on the prowl, quick, hide.
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The beautiful young lady receptionist at the hotel rang me to say that my room booking had been confirmed. Now that's what I term as a cutie call.
True, but that cutie call is only one of the many, mani cures that the hotel offers.
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C'mon, Don_1, you should know me well enough by now to know that I would rather not so much as even lift a finger!
Oh, and when you visit, don't forget to wash yourself after desert in the finger bowl right behind you.
And don't you even think of laying a finger on my wife. we'll both shake our fingers at you for attempting that!
I suppose we should be thankful that you didn't mention Fingers Malone when you knuckled down to write that.
I'm not going to take a hard copy of this post, I can do without a finger print. I'll just make do with a digital copy.
Think we nailed it this time?
More like a crucifixion!
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I wonder if they will celebrate English language day at Oxford University???
If the Chancellor of Oxford University were to be removed from his position on the grounds of mental instability, could it be said that he would have lost control of his faculties ?
Maybe the Chancellor simply couldn't make the grade?
Certainly worthwhile studying this more.
It's teaching me not to judge a whole class of people, e.g., "All Chancellors are mentally unstable".
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"All Chancellors are mentally unstable".
Hey doll for what purpose do you think Demo made that comment?
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Oi!!! You ....... Mr Don 1
I really didn't like the angle a that post. I'ma calling in your license to pun if you do that again.
Oh look, this is getting close to satirical punning.
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Oh look, this is getting close to satirical punning.
That's as may be, but there's no need to blair it out. I do carey about these things you know ba ma sense of national pride holds me back. So would yours if you camer on the same boat as me.
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Some parasites were having a shindig on a parrot. The headline in the morning paper was PARTY POLLY TICS.
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"All Chancellors are mentally unstable".
Hey doll for what purpose do you think Demo made that comment?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.rarenewspapers.com%2Febayimgs%2F2.45.2012%2Fimage053.jpg&hash=6e18220d7268e91f629f2304be0238b9)
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April 27 - May 3, 2014 is:
Preservation Week
http://www.ala.org/alcts/confevents/
Why do people preserve fruits and vegetables?
Because they 'can'.
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April 27 - May 3, 2014 is:
Preservation Week
http://www.ala.org/alcts/confevents/
Why do people preserve fruits and vegetables?
Because they 'can'.
Now that's jarred my memory. It was beautiful late summer's morning and down at the manor house, the gardener was tending to the fruit nets to stop birds from pectin at the redcurrants.
The Squire had invited friends & relatives for the weekend and his good lady wife was conducting a preservice check on the breakfast table. She called to the maid, "Did you lay the table?" The maid replied, "Yes Ma am, I laid it first thing this morning."
"Very well done," the Lady of the house retorted, "Now if you would please announce 'Breakfast is served' and jam open the French windows to let in the smell of the rose garden."
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Alan and I didn't want anyone to see what we had found in the old natural history museum vaults until we were good and ready to make the announcement.
But the invited guests to the unveiling were turning up too early so I had to inform Al d' hide the specimen jar.
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April 27 - May 3, 2014 is:
Preservation Week
http://www.ala.org/alcts/confevents/
Why do people preserve fruits and vegetables?
Because they 'can'.
Now that's jarred my memory. It was beautiful late summer's morning and down at the manor house, the gardener was tending to the fruit nets to stop birds from pectin at the redcurrants.
The Squire had invited friends & relatives for the weekend and his good lady wife was conducting a preservice check on the breakfast table. She called to the maid, "Did you lay the table?" The maid replied, "Yes Ma am, I laid it first thing this morning."
"Very well done," the Lady of the house retorted, "Now if you would please announce 'Breakfast is served' and jam open the French windows to let in the smell of the rose garden."
Alan and I didn't want anyone to see what we had found in the old natural history museum vaults until we were good and ready to make the announcement.
But the invited guests to the unveiling were turning up to early so I had too inform Al d' hide the specimen jar.
Newsflash (AP) Don_1 awarded for above Preservation Punning by:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F1B364CF1-7288-40BD-8EA1-AA9EB73CBBDB.jpg&hash=bd6fb2ca39e5dd667f88d5aab5d49456)
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Newsflash (AP) Don_1 awarded for above Preservation Punning by:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F1B364CF1-7288-40BD-8EA1-AA9EB73CBBDB.jpg&hash=bd6fb2ca39e5dd667f88d5aab5d49456)
Last year, they kept it to themselves and were accused of being the Self Preservation Society. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIechPy5ycc)
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This line of punning has me in a bit of a pickle.
We're going to have to know our onions if we're going to find a way to a new line.
AHha! That's it, 'onions', of course, we can move on now rather than vegetate on the preserves.
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This line of punning has me in a bit of a pickle.
We're going to have to know our onions if we're going to find a way to a new line.
AHha! That's it, 'onions', of course, we can move on now rather than vegetate on the preserves.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F1FE3274D-4A07-4B2A-BD60-809918A4BCC5.jpg&hash=3b7010b9096f7e9ac921c8c15d69fab3)
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Newsflash (AP) Don_1 awarded for above Preservation Punning by:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F1B364CF1-7288-40BD-8EA1-AA9EB73CBBDB.jpg&hash=bd6fb2ca39e5dd667f88d5aab5d49456)
Last year, they kept it to themselves and were accused of being the Self Preservation Society. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIechPy5ycc)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F2012-04%2F6F07A4B2-0FFB-418F-8EED-C562E5709761.gif&hash=5359eeea364c479e079234735414feeb)
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That jarring thought made me steaming mad. I'll put a lid on it though.
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That jarring thought made me steaming mad. I'll put a lid on it though.
Sealed with a kiss, perchance?
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And here's my seal of approval. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zW1APHMIeMI)
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Today, May 4, 2014 is:
QUATRO DE MAYO!
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Whoops! A day early!!
[:-\]
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But today...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F0323774B-379C-41C5-82B3-223D268ACF9D.jpg&hash=ebb4a6266747cab8a38bdfa0011a70fb)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F57594FD3-7D55-4C2E-A873-E48582D96317.jpg&hash=ffad84edf87d88ea4053ac4a067d52d0)
Is this what Cinco de Mayo is all about???
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA9F70537-7404-4B6E-8B67-964CDD455D14.jpg&hash=1a552481b89f43d24eab551a9d2cbab8)
Thumbs up! Seal of Approval for Don_1 and Donnah!
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And here's my seal of approval. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zW1APHMIeMI)
More like sealed with a cat. When I clicked your "seal of approval" link and the baby started talking, Odyn got up from my keyboard and looked behind the computer. Super Odyn; guard cat extraordinaire!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F57594FD3-7D55-4C2E-A873-E48582D96317.jpg&hash=ffad84edf87d88ea4053ac4a067d52d0)
Is this what Cinco de Mayo is all about???
No, that's "Uno de Mayo"; you need five jars for "Cinco de Mayo".
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Is this what Cinco de Mayo is all about???
No, that's "Uno de Mayo"; you need five jars for "Cinco de Mayo".
Thanks, Donnah, I knew you'd know the answer!
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And here's my seal of approval. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zW1APHMIeMI)
More like sealed with a cat. When I clicked your "seal of approval" link and the baby started talking, Odyn got up from my keyboard and looked behind the computer. Super Odyn; guard cat extraordinaire!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F76B0733D-37A4-4BA6-8D52-FACDEADD1052.jpg&hash=110fa2121c804ae2a153fc5ee51f4ece)
I see that Odyn has been very busy lately!
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I see that Odyn has been very busy lately!
He sure has, here he is preparing for an attack on the Isle of Dogs.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.strangehistory.net%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F05%2Fviking-cats.jpg&hash=1fdffc1ffc5215d400b62dadec667047)
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Ohhh, I say! Over 300k views of this thread. Can you believe there can be sew many people who are knitty enough follow this tangled web of words we weave? Of course it is our very own Demo who can lay claim to inaugurating this pearl in the crown of the TNS forum. It may make some people cross at times, even give them the needle, but obviously it amuses some and perhaps has some in stitches occasionally.
As we near the third of a million views, I wonder if an award is looming on the horizon.
Oh brother (http://www.brothermachines.com/), we must invite a singer (http://www.singerco.com/) to the ceremony.
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Ohhh, I say! Over 300k views of this thread. Can you believe there can be sew many people who are knitty enough follow this tangled web of words we weave? Of course it is our very own Demo who can lay claim to inaugurating this pearl in the crown of the TNS forum. It may make some people cross at times, even give them the needle, but obviously it amuses some and perhaps has some in stitches occasionally.
As we near the third of a million views, I wonder if an award is looming on the horizon.
Oh brother (http://www.brothermachines.com/), we must invite a singer (http://www.singerco.com/) to the ceremony.
An appropriate Game Award for Don_1!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F2CF3FCD3-7A7E-454E-99F3-A08C01040B98.jpg&hash=4750c1693d05e25381e536ea6e932d61)
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Oh brother (http://www.brothermachines.com/), we must invite a singer (http://www.singerco.com/) to the ceremony.
Bah! Don_1, those machines are too durn modern and...newfangled!
Mrs. Demo is perfectly happy with her old trusty sewing table !
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2FB5283075-0224-4D09-9230-B15F0E855153.gif&hash=36fe2c7a2a9f2b16fbf62a1299bff403)
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I see you're not one for keeping up with the Jones (http://www.ismacs.net/jones/home.html)es then.
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Don't insult me, Don_1: I'm up to date
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ismacs.net%2Fjones%2Fimages%2Fjones-treadle-sewing-machine.jpg&hash=09ef87a578c2174d4cbc995103eb0c77)
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Don't insult me, Don_1: I'm up to date
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ismacs.net%2Fjones%2Fimages%2Fjones-treadle-sewing-machine.jpg&hash=09ef87a578c2174d4cbc995103eb0c77)
Ah! Yes, ermmmmmmmmm, how do I tell him???
I shall have to treadle carefully, not spin any yarns. I don't want to give him the needle. Button the other hand, I feel he needs to know. Perhaps I'll send hem him a zip file. Or would that fly in the face of convention?
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OK, I've thought long and hard about this. I am now ready to break the news to Demo.
Ahem.......
Well, now you see, there was once an English bloke by the name of Mike Fairyday (or summat t' that effect) and he had an Italian chum with frogs legs. Or was it a Frog with Italian legs??? Anyways, this geezer's name was Luigi Galvani (short for 'galvanise' I suspect) and he used to poke frogs legs in public........... blah blah blah blah........
.........blah blah blah blah........... and that's how ol' Micky Faraway, or whatever his name was, discovered the London Electrickery Company. From what I understand, some fella over there in the US of A by the name of Edward made a glass thingy glow with some o' this 'ere electrickery. Everyone in the room watched this thingy as the switch was thrown.
"Did it work?" called Edward from a safe distance in another room (he wasn't daft) and they all joined in the chorus "Yes Ed is on.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F7CC96D0D-499B-4692-8128-27C1575B7573.jpg&hash=185d93e1ee61cb0f483f4a3013adef4b)
Nikola Tesla
(worked briefly for Thomas Edison)
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Sew watt if I like old sewing machines???
That's no reason to needle me mercilessly!
If this keeps up, I'm switching majors to Paleontology.
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If this keeps up, I'm switching majors to Paleontology.
But..... but..... but..... I thought you already had! (http://bluedinosaurs.com/diy-platform-sewing-table/)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F7CC96D0D-499B-4692-8128-27C1575B7573.jpg&hash=185d93e1ee61cb0f483f4a3013adef4b)
Nikola Tesla
(worked briefly for Thomas Edison)
He was used by Edison only during the preliminary days. Edison didn't want to be around when the switch was thrown, in case it all went disastrously wrong. He would shout his orders in pigeon Serbian from a safe distance, "Nikola, test la bulb now."
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Sew watt if I like old sewing machines???
That's no reason to needle me mercilessly!
If this keeps up, I'm switching majors to Paleontology.
So, you'll be looking into SEW AGE huh!
MAN U Re brave.
Come post some more like this.
If you were Islamic, you couldn't be a Suny, you'd have to be a Shia-t.
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If this keeps up, I'm switching majors to Paleontology.
But..... but..... but..... I thought you already had! (http://bluedinosaurs.com/diy-platform-sewing-table/)
You're right! I'll specialize in Blue Dinosaur Research! Thanks for the career direction. What do I owe you?
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F7CC96D0D-499B-4692-8128-27C1575B7573.jpg&hash=185d93e1ee61cb0f483f4a3013adef4b)
Nikola Tesla
(worked briefly for Thomas Edison)
He was used by Edison only during the preliminary days. Edison didn't want to be around when the switch was thrown, in case it all went disastrously wrong. He would shout his orders in pigeon Serbian from a safe distance, "Nikola, test la bulb now."
This is shocking news to me!
[:0]
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Sew watt if I like old sewing machines???
That's no reason to needle me mercilessly!
If this keeps up, I'm switching majors to Paleontology.
So, you'll be looking into SEW AGE huh!
MAN U Re brave.
Come post some more like this.
If you were Islamic, you couldn't be a Suny, you'd have to be a Shia-t.
No no no, it's NEW AGE!!!!
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Age
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2FB5283075-0224-4D09-9230-B15F0E855153.gif&hash=36fe2c7a2a9f2b16fbf62a1299bff403)
I suppose that you will next poke fun at the new Mother's Day dress I bought for Mrs. Demo!!!
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I wasn't going to mention that, but since you've brought it up.......... Let's just say I'm not so sure the good lady would have been exactly enthralled.
Apparently it had a faint odour of moth balls. Are you sure it was 'new'?
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No no no, it's NEW AGE!!!!
New age, Sew age; Much the same thing really.
Its all a load of (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-shocked002.gif&hash=7f6d89e7c30bdd9cc9923f634509ff42) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
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I wasn't going to mention that, but since you've brought it up.......... Let's just say I'm not so sure the good lady would have been exactly enthralled.
Apparently it had a faint odour of moth balls. Are you sure it was 'new'?
Not moth balls: formaldehyde.
To preserve it as new!
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No no no, it's NEW AGE!!!!
New age, Sew age; Much the same thing really.
Its all a load of (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-shocked002.gif&hash=7f6d89e7c30bdd9cc9923f634509ff42) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F2011-09%2FE60640FE-045F-42F8-B5DC-5862F0908E46.jpg&hash=6e3f13eff9cb2aa0bc1ac8d6f8d26b76)
"I agree!"
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Well now, that jolly chubby chappy looks like he's on a Trip o'ling about his posture.
And speaking of Li, b ya watching carefully Demo?
Yes, 'tis I speaking (or rather typing) from Old Tripoli Town In Libya and making a pretty bad job of punning from foriegn shores.
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Speaking of Li, b ya watching carefully Demo?
When a thief stole several volumes from Library A he was quickly booked.
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Perhaps he could have sneaked out if he'd turned down the volumes.
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Perhaps he could have sneaked out if he'd turned down the volumes.
He wasn't a clever enough chap ter figure that one out, hence he received a long sentence from the judge.
Gaol terms for these offences have been pretty static over the past years, as a pair o graphs illustrate.
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When a thief stole several volumes from Library A he was quickly booked.
Perhaps he could have sneaked out if he'd turned down the volumes.
He wasn't a clever enough chap ter figure that one out, hence he received a long sentence from the judge.
Gaol terms for these offences have been pretty static over the past years, as a pair o graphs illustrate.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-YKmEZtb1enc%2FT-DTfjI191I%2FAAAAAAAAClM%2FlBkYBt2ShvE%2Fs1600%2Fblog.jpg&hash=c55e668d68c7e0fc2cb9cfbce0bcb19a)
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Today, May 27, 2014 is:
Cellophane Tape Day
I imagine that doing business in Libya must involve a lot of red tape.
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Opposite the hotel in Tripoli was a mosque. Every morning the call to prayer was blasted out at 5am.
Though it did wake me, I went back to sleep after a couple of minarets.
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When a thief stole several volumes from Library A he was quickly booked.
Perhaps he could have sneaked out if he'd turned down the volumes.
He wasn't a clever enough chap ter figure that one out, hence he received a long sentence from the judge.
Gaol terms for these offences have been pretty static over the past years, as a pair o graphs illustrate.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-YKmEZtb1enc%2FT-DTfjI191I%2FAAAAAAAAClM%2FlBkYBt2ShvE%2Fs1600%2Fblog.jpg&hash=c55e668d68c7e0fc2cb9cfbce0bcb19a)
I am told your word is binding and that you have the spine to back up your words. This should entitle you to an award.
You may pick your own award, authorwise one can be selected for you.
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Opposite the hotel in Tripoli was a mosque. Every morning the call to prayer was blasted out at 5am.
Though it did wake me, I went back to sleep after a couple of minarets.
Don_1, you're remarkable: you have more workable steps than the stairway of a minaret!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F-AZl0ubhmI_8%2FUiYlTF6f9nI%2FAAAAAAAACoo%2FW3D2iyLzpvc%2Fs1600%2Fgreat-mosque-samarra-iraq.jpg&hash=e9fd69bf6f79fa5f69be0b21cae29b6f)
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When a thief stole several volumes from Library A he was quickly booked.
Perhaps he could have sneaked out if he'd turned down the volumes.
He wasn't a clever enough chap ter figure that one out, hence he received a long sentence from the judge.
Gaol terms for these offences have been pretty static over the past years, as a pair o graphs illustrate.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-YKmEZtb1enc%2FT-DTfjI191I%2FAAAAAAAAClM%2FlBkYBt2ShvE%2Fs1600%2Fblog.jpg&hash=c55e668d68c7e0fc2cb9cfbce0bcb19a)
I am told your word is binding and that you have the spine to back up your words. This should entitle you to an award.
You may pick your own award, authorwise one can be selected for you.
Thank you.
My writer's cramp is also known as authoritis.
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Don_1, you're remarkable: you have more workable steps than the stairway of a minaret!
Shouldn't that be a stairway to heaven (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YZb8s7Kxa4).
I think you may have been led up the wrong path, perchance by one of the Marx Bros. namely Zeppo, linning his pocket, as usual.
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My writer's cramp is also known as authoritis.
Just wait till you suffer from the scrolls......
But I have to say that man, you scripted that well.
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Demo was having a spot of bother finding the right key to play a certain piece of music in.
"Its no good in A minor or D flat." He exclaimed. With my limited knowledge of things musical, I could only make one suggestion.
I said, "Why don't you try lo G?
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My writer's cramp is also known as authoritis.
Just wait till you suffer from the scrolls......
But I have to say that man, you scripted that well.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fportal.norwalkps.org%2Fsites%2Fteachers%2Fbenson%2FPublishingImages%2FMiscellaneous%2520Images%2Fgoodone.gif&hash=4b2c804d8e4465b12d06c16013b3907e)
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Demo was having a spot of bother finding the right key to play a certain piece of music in.
"Its no good in A minor or D flat." He exclaimed. With my limited knowledge of things musical, I could only make one suggestion.
I said, "Why don't you try lo G?
You can always try lo Gic or reason if intuition and emotions don't work.
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Don_1, you're remarkable: you have more workable steps than the stairway of a minaret!
Shouldn't that be a stairway to heaven (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YZb8s7Kxa4).
I think you may have been led up the wrong path, perchance by one of the Marx Bros. namely Zeppo, linning his pocket, as usual.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffc09.deviantart.net%2Ffs47%2Ff%2F2009%2F181%2F6%2F6%2FLed_Zeppelin_Animated_by_Jallen02.gif&hash=bccb56ffca71817a7a94066d0fd2f140)
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I refer you to the GRAPH ZEPpo LINed his pockets with, which he later hid beHIND AN iceBERG.
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I asked a local chap if the long mound of earth obscured the view from the town square.
He replied "Oh yes, der ridge able to block any such vista."
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I asked a local chap if the long mound of earth obscured the view from the town square.
He replied "Oh yes, der ridge able to block any such vista."
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F8EC13BFF-5253-45B1-95B3-B80B57EBA0D2.jpg&hash=b5f3011792384f56e220bc6522d97078)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fniallmor.files.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F01%2Fdirigible.jpg&hash=b038695b208cbe6bf77af5fe0b032fc5)
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I refer you to the GRAPH ZEPpo LINed his pockets with, which he later hid beHIND AN iceBERG.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2FE47B711D-9FB2-4B2E-A66A-BA3620F20AE3.jpg&hash=b84e0a79ce8a9ec50f71e4be59498edb)
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Demo was having a spot of bother finding the right key to play a certain piece of music in.
"Its no good in A minor or D flat." He exclaimed. With my limited knowledge of things musical, I could only make one suggestion.
I said, "Why don't you try lo G?
You can always try lo Gic or reason if intuition and emotions don't work.
Besides, last time I tried lo G it sounded too Guttural.
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June, 2014, is:
Adopt-A-Cat-Month
http://www.americanhumane.org/animals/programs/special-initiatives/adopt-a-cat-month/
Odyn isn't available so I'll wait till I'm feline better.
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June, 2014, is:
Adopt-A-Cat-Month
http://www.americanhumane.org/animals/programs/special-initiatives/adopt-a-cat-month/
Odyn isn't available so I'll wait till I'm feline better.
I'm always more than willing to give aid to a pu(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-shocked002.gif&hash=7f6d89e7c30bdd9cc9923f634509ff42)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftheraleighmortgageguy.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F07%2Fwall-of-shame.jpg&hash=4e496f51e45140bdccace09a1ff4034e)
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Me??? Shame??? Oh no, there's nun here.
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June, 2014, is:
Adopt-A-Cat-Month
http://www.americanhumane.org/animals/programs/special-initiatives/adopt-a-cat-month/
Odyn isn't available so I'll wait till I'm feline better.
I'm always more than willing to give aid to a pu(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-shocked002.gif&hash=7f6d89e7c30bdd9cc9923f634509ff42)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftheraleighmortgageguy.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F07%2Fwall-of-shame.jpg&hash=4e496f51e45140bdccace09a1ff4034e)
Me??? Shame??? Oh no, there's nun here.
Good for you, Don_1, shame can become a bad habit.
My 3rd cousin's (twice removed) long lost sister -- Sally Field ( -- flies into a shaming fit until she unveils the unsuspecting listener's real motives (usually sinful!).
Be compassionate: Sally grew up cloistered.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F-0_bTqD6C7Pg%2FUn9jtbbIh3I%2FAAAAAAAAB4Y%2F4rok0kc5SK8%2Fs1600%2Fsallycover.jpg&hash=61e96d69fc18936046e74008a65108cc)
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Yet anmother superior post from the father of the punning thread.
All you novices take good note or Demo will make monkies of you all.
Now then, ATTEN-SHUN, QUIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiIIIIICK MARCH, left, right, left, right, left, right ABBOT TURN!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ff1.pepst.com%2Fc%2F194136%2F4630%2Fssc3%2Fhome%2F020%2Fzarden.animations%2Fpriest_preaching_behi.gif_480_480_0_64000_0_1_0.gif&hash=67223300678b54a321b35be97c4d1897)
"All ye novices: listen to Don_1 or you will ALL
go to...
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
hell!"
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg1.wikia.nocookie.net%2F__cb20130127055956%2Fdegrassi%2Fimages%2Fd%2Fd8%2FFire-animated-hot-burn.gif&hash=31177fa6c2ba4a22d1da2ae3f329a386)
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As you can see, Demo is not one to simply infer, no, he gets straight down to the nitty gritty.
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Looming inferno?? Satan?? Pitchforks??
Oh, hell, then why Dante we do something about it??
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............ why Dante we do something about it??
I passed on your suggestion to the Mrs. But she said we could never win the battle. So I'm afraid we will loose if 'er indoors says so.
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I see the problems in Iraq are returning. Will there ever be a solution for that dam nation?
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I firmly believe that the first life forms to evolve mouth parts appeared on Earth during the Pliocene. I refer to this period as the Epoch 'o lips.
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I see the problems in Iraq are returning. Will there ever be a solution for that dam nation?
Do you mean THIS Eye-rack?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.rfmsecuritysolutions.com%2Fimages%2Feyeanimation.gif&hash=3ad85770658912d60f914efa1f932e60)
(https://slm-assets0.secondlife.com/assets/6245888/view_large/MCB_-_Navy_Sailor_-_Autumn_-_Woman_-_Vendor.jpg?1347464429)
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I firmly believe that the first life forms to evolve mouth parts appeared on Earth during the Pliocene. I refer to this period as the Epoch 'o lips.
In that case, Armageddon my facts straight.
Thanks, Don_1, what would we do without your infernal precision?
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............ why Dante we do something about it??
I passed on your suggestion to the Mrs. But she said we could never win the battle. So I'm afraid we will loose if 'er indoors says so.
I agree with Mrs. Don_1: we would have a devil of a time even trying to prepare for battle!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmsshooksenglishclasses.weebly.com%2Fuploads%2F1%2F2%2F5%2F6%2F12566818%2F804192989_orig.jpg&hash=86813eb2ea6d93bb94a873534cf66354)
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As you can see, Demo is not one to simply infer, no, he gets straight down to the nitty gritty.
I confess to the truth of the above statement.
Signed,(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffont.downloadatoz.com%2Fdownload%2Fimgs%2Fc%2Fh%2Fa%2FChancellerie%2520Moderne%2520Demo-icon.png&hash=942375b61f8d9b2af067b5da9f452211)
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Most plants reproduce by means of seeds, however, in fern only the ancient system of spores are used.
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Signed,(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffont.downloadatoz.com%2Fdownload%2Fimgs%2Fc%2Fh%2Fa%2FChancellerie%2520Moderne%2520Demo-icon.png&hash=942375b61f8d9b2af067b5da9f452211)
By chance celery use the seed method.
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Dateline June 24, 2014
Today is National Pralines Day
Originally created in France the praline got its name from French soldier and sugar industrialist, Marshal du Plessis-Praslin, who's cook who invented it.
Pralines evolved when French settlers brought the recipe to Louisiana where chefs in New Orleans eventually substituted pecans for almonds and added cream.
Today they come in many flavours and are soooooooo yummy, it's no wonder they have their own day.
Happy National Pralines Day!
Its also International Fairy Day. I shall say no more.
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Dateline June 24, 2014
Today is National Pralines Day
I pray as well to be lean one day. Diet! Diet! Diet!
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Signed,(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffont.downloadatoz.com%2Fdownload%2Fimgs%2Fc%2Fh%2Fa%2FChancellerie%2520Moderne%2520Demo-icon.png&hash=942375b61f8d9b2af067b5da9f452211)
By chance celery use the seed method.
Greengrocers earn a meager celery, come home beet and just want to read the pepper, take a leek, turnip the covers endive into bed.
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"Oh grow up!" said the gardener to her little sprouts. "And stop doing weed! Must tardiness be part of the schedule? If you don't squash that habit, I'll have to beet you!"
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"Oh grow up!" said the gardener to her little sprouts. "And stop doing weed! Must tardiness be part of the schedule? If you don't squash that habit, I'll have to beet you!"
Donnah wins this Award for Outstanding Gardening Punning!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aaacertificates.com%2Fimages%2Fsmall%2Foutstandgardentree.jpg&hash=e0251221546b59907ede0cc23e53dab3)
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Lettuce all take a bough.
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Lettuce all take a bough.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstream1.gifsoup.com%2Fview7%2F2915529%2Ftake-a-bow-o.gif&hash=5667864bd90953cd2e3feb9ec001fbc2)
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Looks like a ghoulish wave!
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Looks like a ghoulish wave!
Goulash?
Yes, I do prefer that to steak.
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A local house, said to be haunted, was burnt to the ground. Fire investigators said they had found goul ash in the charred remains.
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Looks like a ghoulish wave!
Goulash?
Yes, I do prefer that to steak.
That's tew all over, isn't it! I'm telling you, your for the chop. Come on, I want to hear you tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and no loin.
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A local house, said to be haunted, was burnt to the ground. Fire investigators said they had found goul ash in the charred remains.
But don't forget that my brother and I collaborated on haunted stories, and he was the ghostwriter.
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Looks like a ghoulish wave!
Goulash?
Yes, I do prefer that to steak.
That's tew all over, isn't it! I'm telling you, your for the chop. Come on, I want to hear you tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and no loin.
OK, Don_1, but when it is lumpy I have a beef with your gravy!
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A local house, said to be haunted, was burnt to the ground. Fire investigators said they had found goul ash in the charred remains.
But don't forget that my brother and I collaborated on haunted stories, and he was the ghostwriter.
Ah ha! This explains why you spirited him away.
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I wonder, was Phil Specter a ghost writer???
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Looks like a ghoulish wave!
Goulash?
Yes, I do prefer that to steak.
That's tew all over, isn't it! I'm telling you, your for the chop. Come on, I want to hear you tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and no loin.
OK, Don_1, but when it is lumpy I have a beef with your gravy!
Wow! You've got a sauce.
By the way, was Phil Specter a jeux?
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A local house, said to be haunted, was burnt to the ground. Fire investigators said they had found goul ash in the charred remains.
But don't forget that my brother and I collaborated on haunted stories, and he was the ghostwriter.
Ah ha! This explains why you spirited him away.
Yes. He was once a depressed exorcist - they're not very good at lifting spirits.
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By the way, was Phil Specter a jeux?
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/5776220672/h22AAD2DE/)
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A jeux - Gesundheit! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Flaughing%2Fpointing-and-laughing.gif&hash=91f17168c5a08b16b4ceced2d09b0aa7)
That's just a tissue of lies.
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Today is National 'Get out of the Doghouse Day'.
I have increased the font size of that so you ken all see it clearly.
Personally, I see no point in getting out of the dog house today, only to be back in it again tomorrow.(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Fsad%2Fupset-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=6267cec87cdaf7cb07a4766d088f3b6c)
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Today is National 'Get out of the Doghouse Day'.
I have increased the font size of that so you ken all see it clearly.
Personally, I see no point in getting out of the dog house today, only to be back in it again tomorrow.(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Fsad%2Fupset-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=6267cec87cdaf7cb07a4766d088f3b6c)
Bell, Bark and Kennel, a novel by Ivan Pavlov, chronicles the growth of the dog house conglomerate known as The Salivation Army.
Dognations accepted.
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A jeux - Gesundheit! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Flaughing%2Fpointing-and-laughing.gif&hash=91f17168c5a08b16b4ceced2d09b0aa7)
That's just a tissue of lies.
That accusation is nothing to sneeze at!
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"Ah Chu Gan: Executive Profile & Biography - Businessweek
investing.businessweek.com/.../person.as...
Background*. Mr. Ah Chu Gan serves as Head of financial management of Acoustech Bhd."
He must call special attention to himself when he sneezes!
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Once again, Demo wins the race by a nose.
Join in folks, I'm sure you know the words.......
For sneeze a jolly good fellow, for sneeze a jolly good fellow,
For sneeze a jolly good fellow, and so say all of us.
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In Spanish, a sneeze might be described as a storm you dah out of your nose.
Sneeze (Eng) = Estornudar (Esp)
In Germany they say "I'm sniesen."
Norwegians quite like it, describing it as "Quite nyse."
The Swedes are even more keen, describing it as "Much nysa."
Ah ha! Multilingual puns a go-go.
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The Salivation Army.
That's aslobbering a thought as I can think of.
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Yes. He was once a depressed exorcist - they're not very good at lifting spirits.
I slipped as I tried to take the top off my breakfast boiled egg this morning. Now I have an egg saw cist.
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Today is National Hammock Day.
I tried to get my neighbours to use the hammock I'd set up in their garden, but they couldn't get in to it and just ended up running hamok.
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I am very critical of the pet trade. Just the other day I felt it necessary to admonish a pet shop owner for the state of the rabbit run. "Just look", I said, "there's hay muck all over the place."
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Out for a spot of lunch, I noticed the unusual starter on the menu and called it to my friend's attention.
"Hey! Mock turtle soup." I exclaimed.
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I asked Jock if he liked smoked bacon.
He replied, "Ham! Och aye, its a bonny sandwich filler."
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Norwegians quite like it, describing it as "Quite nyse
NYSE? Why not Nasdaq ???????
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Today is National Hammock Day.
I tried to get my neighbours to use the hammock I'd set up in their garden, but they couldn't get in to it and just ended up running hamok.
HAMMOCK: Aren't you simply “ Making fun of a slice of lunch meat ”??????
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I asked Jock if he liked smoked bacon.
He replied, "Ham! Och aye, its a bonny sandwich filler."
My famous bacon soup recipe began as an add hock meal.
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HAMMOCK: Aren't you simply Making fun of a slice of lunch meat ??????
Perish the thought........
No, no, I assure you I would never do such a cruel thing to any cut of meat, especially a ham hock.
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I asked Jock if he liked smoked bacon.
He replied, "Ham! Och aye, its a bonny sandwich filler."
My famous bacon soup recipe began as an add hock meal.
You could get drunk on Granny's soup because she would add hock to it.
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I asked Jock if he liked smoked bacon.
He replied, "Ham! Och aye, its a bonny sandwich filler."
My famous bacon soup recipe began as an add hock meal.
You could get drunk on Granny's soup because she would add hock to it.
When the adamant hockey player came home he gave his wife a puck on the cheek.
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I asked Jock if he liked smoked bacon.
He replied, "Ham! Och aye, its a bonny sandwich filler."
My famous bacon soup recipe began as an add hock meal.
You could get drunk on Granny's soup because she would add hock to it.
When the adamant hockey player came home he gave his wife a puck on the cheek.
Phew! Glad your spelling's up to scratch, otherwise that could have been an unfortunate and embarrassing post.
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......... he gave his wife a puck on the cheek.
That seems fair e (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puck_(mythology))nough.
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When the adamant hockey player
Wasn't he some naff pop star of the 70's & 80's? Adam Ant (http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/guys-in-make-up/images/2223978/title/adam-ant-photo).
No, wait, it was that feeble (hence now cult) BBC rubbish from the 60's Adam Adamant (http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/classic/adamant/). Gads! I fear I can say I well remember that programme. IT WAS AWFUL!!!
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When the adamant hockey player
Altoids made a calculator.
They called it Adamant. (Add-a-mint)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fshop.altoids.com%2Fimages%2Fprod1.png&hash=4331ddcfd9257b26b5c2a7a0d0790dba)
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Today is National Hammock Day.
I tried to get my neighbours to use the hammock I'd set up in their garden, but they couldn't get in to it and just ended up running hamok.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F6CA54358-1F79-4010-B6EC-7D2E700F9ABB.jpg&hash=038fca637634fe3f62b97bfc80af6a6d)
Banana hammock!
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How many times must I tell you, you must ban Anna from the hammock. Besides all else, if she falls out, she will split on you.
In the 'Rear of the Year' competition, Anna, one judge commented, was "of right ass".
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Toady is Talk in an Elevator Day.
Should result in some uplifting conversation, unless you talk out your a*** (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TtZgs8k8dU).
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Today is Talk in an Elevator Day.
Should result in some uplifting conversation, unless you talk out your a*** (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TtZgs8k8dU).
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.geekalerts.com%2Fu%2FFarting-in-the-Elevator-is-Wrong-on-So-Many-Levels-T-Shirt.jpg&hash=5773fbecbbb3f3e1418b7f6482669d7d)
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How many times must I tell you, you must ban Anna from the hammock. Besides all else, if she falls out, she will split on you.
In the 'Rear of the Year' competition, Anna, one judge commented, was "of right ass".
Me? I would only ban Anna if you offered me a free cream pie!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.buzznet.com%2Fassets%2Fimgx%2F2%2F0%2F9%2F4%2F5%2F3%2F5%2F5%2Forig-20945355.jpg&hash=ece32bde6b2bcb756030f2067064e89e)
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.......Anna got gelled......
She was so deeply pleased by her experience, she thought it was angelic.
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Today is National Lasagna Day.
Because of her diet regime, alas Angna will not be taking part in the celebrations.
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Today is National Lasagna Day.
Because of her diet regime, alas Angna will not be taking part in the celebrations.
Leftover spaghetti is pasta its prime.
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Anna must be protected.
At all costs.
<solemn>
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Today is National Lasagna Day.
Because of her diet regime, alas Angna will not be taking part in the celebrations.
Q: What does an Irishman get after eating Italian lasagna?
A: Gaelic breath!
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Today is National Lasagna Day.
Because of her diet regime, alas Angna will not be taking part in the celebrations.
Q: What does an Irishman get after eating Italian lasagna?
A: Gaelic breath!
Phew! For a moment there, I thought you were going to say a carbon arse.
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Anna must be protected.
At all costs.
<solemn>
A suspect reptile breeder tried to get Anna to buy a pet, but she turned the tables on the trickster. Oh yes, in the end Anna conned her.
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Anna has gone into the ladies undergarment business with a friend. She can now be referred to as a co bra business woman.
I went to visit them and yes naked women were all around.
'Ello, 'ello, 'ello, I thought, as probably a fitting session I can sea going on.
I made a lewd comment about one woman's bosom, but it didn't rattle 'er. She said, "I tied this ribbon to secure my boobs. I find the bow a constrictor of more comfort than some bras."
I confess I was breathing heavy, she said "Please sir pant no more.
C''mon, let's milk this line of punning as best we can. I don't think anyone will grass on us.
I'm off to lunch now. I'll have some pie then try to think of some more snake puns.
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.......Anna got gelled......
She was so deeply pleased by her experience, she thought it was angelic.
That's why Brad Pitt makes Angelina jolly!
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Anna must be protected.
At all costs.
<solemn>
A suspect reptile breeder tried to get Anna to buy a pet, but she turned the tables on the trickster. Oh yes, in the end Anna conned her.
Anna has gone into the ladies undergarment business with a friend. She can now be referred to as a co bra business woman.
I went to visit them and yes naked women were all around.
'Ello, 'ello, 'ello, I thought, as probably a fitting session I can sea going on.
I made a lewd comment about one woman's bosom, but it didn't rattle 'er. She said, "I tied this ribbon to secure my boobs. I find the bow a constrictor of more comfort than some bras."
I confess I was breathing heavy, she said "Please sir pant no more.
C''mon, let's milk this line of punning as best we can. I don't think anyone will grass on us.
I'm off to lunch now. I'll have some pie then try to think of some more snake puns.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F52419C70-35A8-45D6-8AE7-44F862231FA2_2.jpg&hash=9a27b2cb6026de7f82deda86a6537e27)
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Anna has gone into the ladies undergarment business with a friend. She can now be referred to as a co bra business woman.
Did you hear about Anna's new dyslexic boyfriend?
He just walked into a bra and got drunk!
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Anna has gone into the ladies undergarment business with a friend. She can now be referred to as a co bra business woman.
I went to visit them and yes naked women were all around.
'Ello, 'ello, 'ello, I thought, as probably a fitting session I can sea going on.
I made a lewd comment about one woman's bosom, but it didn't rattle 'er. She said, "I tied this ribbon to secure my boobs. I find the bow a constrictor of more comfort than some bras."
I confess I was breathing heavy, she said "Please sir pant no more.
C''mon, let's milk this line of punning as best we can. I don't think anyone will grass on us.
I'm off to lunch now. I'll have some pie then try to think of some more snake puns.
AWARDED TO DON_1 FOR SUPERIOR SNAKE PUNNING!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sparklebox.co.uk%2Fsigns-and-labels%2Fcollections%2Fsnakes%2F_wp_generated%2Fpp4d3e823f_02.jpg&hash=8e28d50da3c658c45aedd523c4043b0f)
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I'm going to try to adder few more puns here. I'll try not to chicken out.
Cor all snakes are slippery creatures. Some are shy, yes Mam ba they'll gopher you and carpet you if you don't watch your step.
You could end up in big trouble, stil e toe up the bum will have them on the run, especially if you are quick enough to tie pans to their tails before they whip round to bite you.
I am always mindful of what Herr Porsche said when driving through a snake pit, "You must make zure zat your vindscreen vipers are vorking, und never sit by zer side vinder, only by zer vindskreen or rhear vinder."
He told how he had gone to lunch with Otto to discuss the battleship which was to bare his name. "Ve vill be haffing ein schnitzel pie fur lunch." Said Otto as he went to check with the cook.
Porsche told me, "After a few moments undt on his glockenspiel, Otto Von Bismarck ringed py thon zer table. Com undt eat it vhile itz hot."
Alright, who doesn't believe me? You are so wrong, there really IS a Bismarck Ringed Python (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bismarck_ringed_python).
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What's that pig doing by the dog food? Oi! get that hog nose out of that dish.
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What should I buy Anna for her contributions to the punning thread, how about a garter?
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And now for a song.
Ven om calling yoooo oooowooo oooowoooooo,
Vill you answer toooo oooowoooo ooowoooo
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.godlikeproductions.com%2Fsm%2Fcustom%2Fs%2Fn%2F4f4d9f919e.gif&hash=7d2bffa128f6db16bb4896af2126f73a) Paleface sing with forked tongue.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gifmix.net%2Fgif.php%3Fimage%3Dindian-gifs%2FINDIANER37.GIF&hash=dd49c99bdeb5549cd275ea3e28797269) Howdy paleface, or should I say bucketface. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-Cn0LgKWX6Go%2FU7VLLiAWT2I%2FAAAAAAAABns%2FD1U1wm4UOJY%2Fs1600%2Ffunny-laughing-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=b7dec37c9388cff24745b947195e0f6e)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fshocked%2Fvery-shocked-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=ac946223d720f60e1b5dc28d7195b472)
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What should I buy Anna [as she contributes] to the punning thread, how about a garter?
On the farm a cow's derriere contributes to the dairy air.
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Cor all snakes are slippery creatures. Some are shy, yes Mam ba they'll gopher you and carpet you if you don't watch your step.
I invested in the inventor of the shag carpet and made a big pile.
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Cor all snakes are slippery creatures. Some are shy, yes Mam ba they'll gopher you and carpet you if you don't watch your step.
I invested in the inventor of the shag carpet and made a big pile.
I started up a new business and was looking for an investor to help with funds.
One potential investor ask me "What lin o you in?"
Though he did invest, after a while, he pulled the rug from under my feet. Another investor said "Don't worry, I willton up the motorway to replace the lost funding. Together we'll ax minster woolyhead."
My Mexican workforce did a Mexican wave and shouted in appreciation, "Underlay, underlay." I felt quite touched.
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What should I buy Anna [as she contributes] to the punning thread, how about a garter?
On the farm a cow's derriere contributes to the dairy air.
So you're Friesian out the snake puns eh!
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What should I buy Anna for her contributions to the punning thread, how about a garter?
Don_1, please get her the right size this time.
Last time, when you bought her the wrong size (XXL!) bra, Anna got gelled at -- loudly!! -- by the store clerk for returning the HUGE mistake!
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What should I buy Anna [as she contributes] to the punning thread, how about a garter?
On the farm a cow's derriere contributes to the dairy air.
So you're Friesian out the snake puns eh!
S N A K E!!!
S N A K E!!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F3C63B432-5E4F-4E3C-B0C3-1A2E13033FCC.gif&hash=fe7f6d2a2b02998b9e98c8f10b039b22)
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Alright, who doesn't believe me? You are so wrong, there really IS a Bismarck Ringed Python (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bismarck_ringed_python).
Well, then, how come this Leading Snake Charmer I asked knows nothing about it???
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FCC32D203-0BDA-4EDF-8C9F-52A2E20BA77E.gif&hash=85656843450ae882d4ba5093987e264a)
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What should I buy Anna for her contributions to the punning thread, how about a garter?
Don_1, please get her the right size this time.
Last time, when you bought her the wrong size (XXL!) bra, Anna got gelled at -- loudly!! -- by the store clerk for returning the HUGE mistake!
I seem to have goofed again. this time I got a brazier by mistake. I wouldn't mind so much, but I went a long way to coal chest her (http://www.colchesterguide.co.uk/).
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Alright, who doesn't believe me? You are so wrong, there really IS a Bismarck Ringed Python (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bismarck_ringed_python).
Well, then, how come this Leading Snake Charmer I asked knows nothing about it???
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FCC32D203-0BDA-4EDF-8C9F-52A2E20BA77E.gif&hash=85656843450ae882d4ba5093987e264a)
That silly old fakir knows nothing.
It looks like he's trying to frighten the life out of that poor snake. Is he the turbanator?
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Is he the turbanator?
No, but he has a mean wrist.
A terror wrist!
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What should I buy Anna for her contributions to the punning thread, how about a garter?
Don_1, please get her the right size this time.
Last time, when you bought her the wrong size (XXL!) bra, Anna got gelled at -- loudly!! -- by the store clerk for returning the HUGE mistake!
I seem to have goofed again. this time I got a brazier by mistake. I wouldn't mind so much, but I went a long way to coal chest her (http://www.colchesterguide.co.uk/).
Then I suppose you and Anna will celebrate the gift and stay at the 3 Cups Hotel?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F41D3B125-03A2-4611-B10D-BCC14641377C.jpg&hash=117b6c3a506b34772bf99212c9e04dfc)
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Then I suppose you and Anna will celebrate the gift and stay at the 3 Cups Hotel?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F41D3B125-03A2-4611-B10D-BCC14641377C.jpg&hash=117b6c3a506b34772bf99212c9e04dfc)
Only if the cups are made of tri titanium.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F-J4Js84ecH58%2FUbhK3amz_WI%2FAAAAAAABheA%2FAMFjeFt25JU%2Fs640%2F2.jpg&hash=fc769c42f2a1450c8fb783eb86611e97)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpmcvariety.files.wordpress.com%2F2014%2F08%2Frobin-williams-dead-obit-2.jpg%3Fw%3D670%26amp%3Bh%3D377%26amp%3Bcrop%3D1&hash=6606ea41277cffac78404cf9874f76b2)
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Only if the cups are made of tri titanium.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F-J4Js84ecH58%2FUbhK3amz_WI%2FAAAAAAABheA%2FAMFjeFt25JU%2Fs640%2F2.jpg&hash=fc769c42f2a1450c8fb783eb86611e97)
•
•
•
•
•
•
•>>>
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.picgifs.com%2Fgraphics%2Fl%2Flaughing%2Fgraphics-laughing-320375.gif&hash=cd74699eb1ce08e43095e63afa174572)
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No, no Demo, TRITITANIUM, not 'try Ronald Regan'.
He may not have been in a sci-fi during his Hollywood days, but he came close to The War of the Worlds as the president. He even suggested to UK premier Mrs Thatcher that the US & UK should look into developing weapons using Gama rays. Maggie was quite keen on the idea until she realised it could result in the 'Regan Ray gun'.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fguns%2Flaser-gun.gif&hash=e0ceddf62048c0aa36d2e63bd01f5b29)
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And so soon after Robin Williams,
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fe%2Fe2%2FLauren_bacall_promo_photo.jpg%2F220px-Lauren_bacall_promo_photo.jpg&hash=ebd891281d9cb75705dc582ed63d7824)
Betty Joan Perske, better known as Lauren Bacall ; September 16, 1924 – August 12, 2014
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Don_1, with so many people passing, at least we can be thankful that we and our friends are staying forever young!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedicmagic.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F06%2Fold_men.jpg&hash=46bf0d9263747622be6ef869ef83b25f)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fguns%2Flaser-gun.gif&hash=e0ceddf62048c0aa36d2e63bd01f5b29)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.picgifs.com%2Fgraphics%2Fl%2Flaughing%2Fgraphics-laughing-320375.gif&hash=cd74699eb1ce08e43095e63afa174572)
"Reagan Ray Gun!!"
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.hdcartoonwp.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2014%2F05%2Fwpid-free-disney-frozen-wallpapers-anna-frozen-wallpapers-hd-hd-cartoon-wallpapers.jpg&hash=53ff2e4e44490f57a515659115ab109d)
Don_1, she is annaticipating your gift and celebration!
Don't keep her in suspense!
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Is he the turbanator?
All these puns about turbans are making me Sikh.
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Is he the turbanator?
All these puns about turbans are making me Sikh.
Oh I know what you mean. Its my neighbour who is to blame, the one with all the cats.
Buddah not to worry, his time is about due, I'm going to muzzle him, the silly old cat-a-holic. I'll creep up from behind do it and scarper before he cries t' Ian for help. It wont be until I slam the door behind me that he will be able to page Anna for help.
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Is he the turbanator?
All these puns about turbans are making me Sikh.
Oh I know what you mean. Its my neighbour who is to blame, the one with all the cats.
Buddah not to worry, his time is about due, I'm going to muzzle him, the silly old cat-a-holic. I'll creep up from behind do it and scarper before he cries t' Ian for help. It wont be until I slam the door behind me that he will be able to page Anna for help.
Don_1 easily walks away with The Supreme Multi-Religious Tolerance Award of the Century !!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFF9F3A05-1A5A-4A23-A446-5F530D0F58DE.gif&hash=36deb3e1dc5c1f5a630549611b9dfb47)
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Don_1 easily walks away with The Supreme Multi-Religious Tolerance Award of the Century !!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFF9F3A05-1A5A-4A23-A446-5F530D0F58DE.gif&hash=36deb3e1dc5c1f5a630549611b9dfb47)
How magnanimous of you. I trust there will be an Award Ceremony; I should like Anna's uncles to come with their wives so I can give to all 'er aunts a gift.
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British comic Tim Vine, who already holds the record for the most jokes cracked in an hour, has yet again delivered the funniest joke of the Edinburgh Festival.
In 2010 his crack "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again." won him the accolade, this year he walked away the award again with this one-liner: "I decided to sell my Hoover... well it was just collecting dust."
Well done Tim. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Fhappy%2Fcheering-clapping-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=9bc6f7b98a04d768a838b27028c9f1ca)
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Today is National Aviation Day.
So we should all get off to a flying start, not just try to get by on a wing and a prayer.
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Today is National Aviation Day.
So we should all get off to a flying start, not just try to get by on a wing and a prayer.
Don't expect to eat something fancy when you're flying because it's plane food.
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Today is National Aviation Day.
So we should all get off to a flying start, not just try to get by on a wing and a prayer.
Don't expect to eat something fancy when you're flying because it's plane food.
I had the baguette with a jumbo sausage.
Tea & coffee was served in a china cup on a flying saucer.
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Today is National Aviation Day.
So we should all get off to a flying start, not just try to get by on a wing and a prayer.
Don't expect to eat something fancy when you're flying because it's plane food.
I had the baguette with a jumbo sausage.
Tea & coffee was served in a china cup on a flying saucer.
But -- upon landing/arrival -- no Free Saucer Ride??? Hmph...next time I'll just fly in a private plane! (I have a pilot friend in the UK who might let me fly with him -- AND HIS INSTRUCTOR!!!)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FBBF7FC75-33E7-438B-AD1F-9D63C42576FB.gif&hash=421b293ced1a590e4bf86202af113e79)
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(I have a pilot friend in the UK who might let me fly with him -- AND HIS INSTRUCTOR!!!)
[ Invalid Attachment ]
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(I have a pilot friend in the UK who might let me fly with him -- AND HIS INSTRUCTOR!!!)
[ Invalid Attachment ]
I'm ready!
Volunteer #1 from Punning Thread!
Living will/trust modified to date!!
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Well, sort of textbook landing, but for one point.
Oh, c'mon, that's close enough!
Don't be such a pairfectionist!
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Today is National Aviation Day.
I just don't get puns about aviation.
They're usually way over my head.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.hdcartoonwp.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2014%2F05%2Fwpid-free-disney-frozen-wallpapers-anna-frozen-wallpapers-hd-hd-cartoon-wallpapers.jpg&hash=53ff2e4e44490f57a515659115ab109d)
Don_1, she is annaticipating your gift and celebration!
Don't keep her in suspense!
No word from you .
Now she is annaoyed!
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So sorry for the delay, but I have been pondering what might be a suitable gift.
I ruled out a life size model of Noah's boat as I fear she might be the cause of a mutiny. We can do without any Ann arky.
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I have settled on this for her:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sciencemuseumshop.co.uk%2Fassets%2F%2Bsize%3A400%3A400%3Aclip%2F%2Bv%3Ac9b4a9%2Fproduct%2F327862_1.JPG&hash=40e139c18f740f50291c741b36321907)
Now she will be able to annalyse things.
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But...but...but....all that focus could make her...annal !
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Besides, too much annalysis leads to paralysis!
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I have settled on this for her:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sciencemuseumshop.co.uk%2Fassets%2F%2Bsize%3A400%3A400%3Aclip%2F%2Bv%3Ac9b4a9%2Fproduct%2F327862_1.JPG&hash=40e139c18f740f50291c741b36321907)
Now she will be able to annalyse things.
Silly move, Don_1: now she will find out if there really is any chemistry between you two!
Oh well, you can always have a "Nice To Know You" finale/dinner/ahem at The Three Cups Hotel!
Bon nuit!
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Silly move, Don_1: now she will find out if there really is any chemistry between you two!
Bon nuit!
Oh my! I hadn't considered that might be the reaction. It could cause all salts of problems.
Perhaps I should get her a new car instead. Her's got damaged while racing with a friend. She got pasted to the wall when, accidentally of course, passing at some speed Anna clipt her (http://www.anaglypta.co.uk/) off side rear bumper (US = fender).
Yes, that's it, I've cracked it. I'll give her the keys and say "Here's your new car Bon voyage.
What clever little sod I um.
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In an effort to conserve energy, I have devised a means of lighting the house during the long winter nights, with an exercise rowing machine.
I call it the nit ro generator.
But I must find a way to stop the cat from chlorine at the cables.
Also I need to find the optimum seat position, cause man g knees get achy with all that pedalling.
Once I iron out the details I'll give a full report in what I hope will be a post which wont be boron the pants off one & all.
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Silly move, Don_1: now she will find out if there really is any chemistry between you two!
Bon nuit!
Oh my! I hadn't considered that might be the reaction. It could cause all salts of problems.
Perhaps I should get her a new car instead. Her's got damaged while racing with a friend. She got pasted to the wall when, accidentally of course, passing at some speed Anna clipt her (http://www.anaglypta.co.uk/) off side rear bumper (US = fender).
Yes, that's it, I've cracked it. I'll give her the keys and say "Here's your new car Bon voyage.
What clever little sod I um.
In an effort to conserve energy, I have devised a means of lighting the house during the long winter nights, with an exercise rowing machine.
I call it the nit ro generator.
But I must find a way to stop the cat from chlorine at the cables.
Also I need to find the optimum seat position, cause man g knees get achy with all that pedalling.
Once I iron out the details I'll give a full report in what I hope will be a post which wont be boron the pants off one & all.
I don't have the slightest clue how Don_1 manages to rack up so many awards. Now a Chemistry Award !! The Award Committee will go broke if this keeps up !
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F9DBF5C90-239A-4440-AF0B-EC480BAA5B2E.jpg&hash=d8d429b42cad7e760e8801ae8bd33689)
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Silly move, Don_1: now she will find out if there really is any chemistry between you two!
Bon nuit!
Oh my! I hadn't considered that might be the reaction. It could cause all salts of problems.
Perhaps I should get her a new car instead. Her's got damaged while racing with a friend. She got pasted to the wall when, accidentally of course, passing at some speed Anna clipt her (http://www.anaglypta.co.uk/) off side rear bumper (US = fender).
Yes, that's it, I've cracked it. I'll give her the keys and say "Here's your new car Bon voyage.
What clever little sod I um.
Oh, c'mon, Don_1, can't you do better than THIS????
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F5300119B-A6B6-4EDE-A170-D3B321F67FA5.jpg&hash=87fc81520b8df4707a4ca74030da6991)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FE7885D6B-3E5C-4045-9F76-02FB52C4950D.png&hash=8fa23696ecf0d2ebe95aef0e2c806b50)
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Oh, c'mon, Don_1, can't you do better than THIS????
[ Invalid Attachment ]
Indeed yes I can do better than that.
That's only a toy ota, I'm going to get a real ota.
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That's only a toy ota, I'm going to get a real ota.
You're right. I ota know more about these things!
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That's only a toy ota, I'm going to get a real ota.
You're right. I ota know more about these things!
But I haven't an iota of a clue how to learn.
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Then I shall give you a clue - 3.
If you need some iota, take letter 3 and add 3, thus:
t + 3 = w. Therefore iota - t + w = Iowa
You must enrol at the Iowa State University department for the clueless, just as I did.
Do yourself a favour (US = favour), don't mention my name to the bursar, because I owe 'er some money.
I am thinking of getting all new teeth implants. I have chosen a dental practice in Boston to fit this new mass of chew sets.
I have laid a new multi coloured random pattern carpet. this helps the flor 'ide a heap of sins.
The wife has starched my shirt. I asked her not to do it again because it makes the collar 'ard, o.
The father of the bride thought he would give his daughter one last chance to change her mind. He thought 'As we walk down the aisle ask 'er if she is doing the right thing'.
The current state of affairs around the world seems to bring nothing but Missouri to innocent defenceless people.
Walking around the antique shop, my eye was caught by a large ceramic pot. "Why o ming vase!" I exclaimed.
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I must get off to the dry cleaner's now, with all the rain we have had lately, I have had to wear my mac frequently and it got splashed with mud, so now da kot a bit of a mess.
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I have a cardboard model of the city of Hartford to assemble. The instructions say that where two pieces connect I cut along the dotted line.
-
My neighbour has considerable trouble with weeds in his garden. He asked me if he should just dig it all over. I told him I'd a hoe he could borrow.
-
If you named a mountain after Anna, would it be Mount Anna?
-
The tin mine was just about depleted. The prospectors cried out "Where has all the ore gon?"
-
I couldn't choose which attraction to visit next, so I got a map, closed my eyes and stuck in a pin, thinking the rhode island on will be my next destination.
-
"I tell you, I sent one dozen rolls to you." Said the baker. I replied, "Well, ten I see, but no more."
-
East is east and west is west and neva da twain shall meet.
-
Before I make you all ill I nois what you want. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NztfOSyCCFM)
-
That's only a toy ota, I'm going to get a real ota.
You're right. I ota know more about these things!
But I haven't an iota of a clue how to learn.
Then I shall give you a clue - 3.
If you need some iota, take letter 3 and add 3, thus:
t + 3 = w. Therefore iota - t + w = Iowa
You must enrol at the Iowa State University department for the clueless, just as I did.
Do yourself a favour (US = favour), don't mention my name to the bursar, because I owe 'er some money.
I am thinking of getting all new teeth implants. I have chosen a dental practice in Boston to fit this new mass of chew sets.
I have laid a new multi coloured random pattern carpet. this helps the flor 'ide a heap of sins.
The wife has starched my shirt. I asked her not to do it again because it makes the collar 'ard, o.
The father of the bride thought he would give his daughter one last chance to change her mind. He thought 'As we walk down the aisle ask 'er if she is doing the right thing'.
The current state of affairs around the world seems to bring nothing but Missouri to innocent defenceless people.
Walking around the antique shop, my eye was caught by a large ceramic pot. "Why o ming vase!" I exclaimed.
Now I get Don_1's drift: I'll enroll at Io[t+3]a State, take ten classes 'e sees fit for me to attend, then buy a new jersey to wear to class.
Who knows? Maybe I'll meet a high tech sassy one to guide me through.
And my friend Mary may land me a teaching position there some day!
-
The train conductor was impatient with this woman who was dawdling around the entrance to the train, so he blew his whistle and shouted, "All aboard, ma'am!"
-
The train conductor was impatient with this woman who was dawdling around the entrance to the train, so he blew his whistle and shouted, "All aboard, ma'am!"
Ha! waii do some people always dither? They seem to always want to be the maine attraction.
What sort of trouble might she cause if she were going by car o' liner?
-
I've got my coat back from the cleaners. They've been washing tons of mud off it.
-
I realised it was an unholy scam and told the trickster I was wise to con sinners.
-
The Polish girl seem about right for the job, so I decided to pencil Vania in for it.
-
As I walked by the ladies intimate apparel shop, a garment flew out of the door and struck me on the leg.
"OUCH!!!" I cried out, "My knee, bras kan hurt when travelling at speed."
-
Kenneth always dressed like a slob, I don't know how many times I've said, "Ken tucky in your shirt."
-
Demo asked me to contact him, so I said, "Call, I fone ya tomorrow.
-
Who ate my porridge?
Its in d Anna.
-
Kenneth was once again dressed like a slob. "Why don't you wear something stylish?" I asked. He said, "This shirt is brand new."
"NEW???" I quizzed, "New yor kidding me."
-
Right, let's see if yar kan sas out which states are left while I do some cleaning.
WOA!!!! There I was cleaning the WC when I looked up and on the loo I see Anna.
-
Well, I hope I don't get hauled up before Judge Perry (http://judgepedia.org/Mitch_Perry) because of my WC encounter. But even if I do, I'll just say 'Look Judge,' or perhaps be more friendly with him and say 'Look Mitch I can explain'.
-
I've got my coat back from the cleaners. They've been washing tons of mud off it.
I bet you had red skins from all that hardened mud!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kcconfidential.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F10%2F5890_128430656203_5047510_n.jpg&hash=e1501da6d99e41f0ec73caac20037e9f)
-
What sort of trouble might she cause if she were going by car o' liner?
The type of trouble she might cause depends on whether she goes North or South!
-
Demo asked me to contact him, so I said, "Call, I fone ya tomorrow.
Skip it. You always reverse the charges!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fen%2F6%2F69%2FStop_sign%28standard%29.svg&hash=f0711e5673c8ac9bd1ada91a430f6088)
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WOA!!!! There I was cleaning the WC when I looked up and on the loo I see Anna.
Sign in the bar -- over the loo:
WE AIM TO PLEASE
YOU AIM TOO, PLEASE!
-
WOA!!!! There I was cleaning the WC when I looked up and on the loo I see Anna.
Are you sure it isn't Lucy you see?
-
WOA!!!! There I was cleaning the WC when I looked up and on the loo I see Anna.
Are you sure it isn't Lucy you see?
Oh no! I kan sas out who I was looking at, but I have now explained to her that I didn't mean to pek at all.
-
As Mary landed, Anna polised the crowd of onlookers.
-
Being really hungry, I said to Ken, tucky in to your Frankforta.
-
The cleaners had not done a very good job on my trousers nor the hat & da kot a had entrusted to them. I took it all back to them to point out their failings. "Just look" I said, "at bis marck here!"
-
On the flor I'd a large model of a Giraffe. Demo came to look at it and exclaimed "Tall ah as seen on wild life programmes."
-
Sometimes you can feel quite ill in oisy situations, such as the spring filled atmosphere of deer rutting.
-
Abdul didn't know whether to speak to the calif or near imam about sacking all the children working near the harem and if he should sac ra men too.
-
She thought she was living in a major, cultural "hotspot" American city in Minnesota, but actually my aunt's home city was jokingly known as Minnie no place.
-
Abdul didn't know whether to speak to the calif or near imam about sacking all the children working near the harem and if he should sac ra men too.
The Globetrotters made the large NYC neighborhood harlem famous.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftheqarena.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fimg%2Fharlem-globetrotters-131228-660.jpg&hash=b6a22378f5e8c6b270b05c4d001bf1af)
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On the flor I'd a large model of a Giraffe. Demo came to look at it and exclaimed "Tall ah as seen on wild life programmes."
I also said, "Oh My!am I ever impressed!"
-
As Mary landed, Anna polised the crowd of onlookers.
Then Anna said, "If you're tired carrying on, just pass the ball ti more!"
-
If an Australian Stannum prospector digs in Texas, would it be an Aus tin mine? (Fort what its Worth.
-
Can't think of any more Texan puns for now, so El Passo it on to you Demo.
-
I think it would be a good idea to put a large clock tower with a deep resounding bell in it in Big Bend National Reserve.
-
In a Texas Panhandle High School a young lady was observed running around naked from the waste up. A tutor shouted to her "HEY! Gal, vest on please."
-
Can't think of any more Texan puns for now, so El Passo it on to you Demo.
Are Hyou stoned, Don_1? You know I dally my ass when there's no pressure, but now I feel the need to get religion so I'll move and pray to Corpus Christi to fill my head with puns!
-
SHHHHhhhh, don't let on to Demo, he thinks he is safe from my entrapping him, but I'll lure him into my lare doe.
-
The garden is looking untidy, al a mow the lawn tomorrow.
I think that's the best plano the day.
-
Perhaps the garden might look better if the windows were clean, Another job for tomorrow. I'll buff a low window to start with, but right now I'm going to bed ford a goodley night's sleep.
-
Can't think of any more Texan puns for now, so El Passo it on to you Demo.
Are Hyou stoned, Don_1?
New Yorkers can't even pronounce it right!
They call it HOUSEton Street! [:(]
(https://interestinginnyc.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/img_2562.jpg)
-
How do they arrive at that pronunciation?
They should be made aware of what that Biblical chap is alleged to have said. It goes something like "Whoever is without sin, hu stone first."
-
I understand that in Annapolis, the state governor is to pass environmental laws to bring an end to a lunatic fad in which fishmongers mar eel and shell fish before selling them.
Did Juneau that? Well al ask er what its all about.
-
Well I'd a ho, these fishermen eh! Well boise will be boise.
-
And in NV, a new motoring organisation has said neva da cars on city roads should exceed 25mph.
-
Did Juneau that? Well al ask er what its all about.
Young people need an anchor in life that goes deeper than just age and good looks.
-
What's new about Mexico these days?
-
Did you hear about the Italian Supervisor Harry's new zone-a rules-a?
-
Don_1 sees Demo on the street and says, "O hi, don't I know you from somewhere?"
-
Writing with a broken pencil is vain and pointless, ya know?
-
Did you hear that Anna rhode to an exotic island and took her chemistry set with her?
-
Can't think of any more Texan puns for now.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F101tees.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F10%2Ftexas.gif&hash=bfdc267a96801bd0e2aea41888cdf074)
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And in NV, a new motoring organisation has said neva da cars on city roads should exceed 25mph.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpersephonemagazine.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F01%2Fshirley-temple-giggles.gif&hash=c9c72daa4f8f51ca0d7fca5787f4406c)
"Don_1 is soooo funny"
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The cleaners had not done a very good job on my trousers nor the hat & da kot a had entrusted to them. I took it all back to them to point out their failings. "Just look" I said, "at bis marck here!"
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fparkwaydrycleaning.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2Fbest-dry-cleaner.jpg&hash=f03059251cfcea5beae1bf17a8d45b4e)
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"Who are you?" the reporter asked the lady linked to the arm of the movie star. She replied "I da ho."
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"Who are you?" the reporter asked the lady linked to the arm of the movie star. She replied "I da ho."
That's a gem, stone me if it ain't.
She was da ho alright, she's after all the boise
Mind you, that movie star she was tagging along with was a real burley character.
-
"Who are you?" the reporter asked the lady linked to the arm of the movie star. She replied "I da ho."
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flibrary.osu.edu%2Fprojects%2Fbennett-in-japan%2Fimages%2Ffull%2F04%2F6.jpg&hash=ea815ce3596b2184e5bacf453c5c05f4)
"I da ho" "No I da ho!" "No I da ho!"
Edit: Not everyone agrees that Idaho potatoes are superior!
Snobbery?
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.fiskars.eu%2Fvar%2Ffiskars_emea%2Fstorage%2Fimages%2Ffrontpage2%2Fgardening-yard-care%2Fproducts%2Fmulti-head-tool-system%2Fcultivating%2F136502-fiskars-dutch-hoe-130mm%2F14758-80-eng-EU%2F136502-Fiskars-Dutch-Hoe-130mm.jpg&hash=808b5ea40102fea27114b4894c278629)No, I da hoe.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.fiskars.eu%2Fvar%2Ffiskars_emea%2Fstorage%2Fimages%2Ffrontpage2%2Fgardening-yard-care%2Fproducts%2Fmulti-head-tool-system%2Fcultivating%2F136502-fiskars-dutch-hoe-130mm%2F14758-80-eng-EU%2F136502-Fiskars-Dutch-Hoe-130mm.jpg&hash=808b5ea40102fea27114b4894c278629)No, I da hoe.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.fiskars.eu%2Fvar%2Ffiskars_emea%2Fstorage%2Fimages%2Ffrontpage2%2Fgardening-yard-care%2Fproducts%2Fmulti-head-tool-system%2Fcultivating%2F136502-fiskars-dutch-hoe-130mm%2F14758-80-eng-EU%2F136502-Fiskars-Dutch-Hoe-130mm.jpg&hash=808b5ea40102fea27114b4894c278629)Can't we share?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.fiskars.eu%2Fvar%2Ffiskars_emea%2Fstorage%2Fimages%2Ffrontpage2%2Fgardening-yard-care%2Fproducts%2Fmulti-head-tool-system%2Fcultivating%2F136502-fiskars-dutch-hoe-130mm%2F14758-80-eng-EU%2F136502-Fiskars-Dutch-Hoe-130mm.jpg&hash=808b5ea40102fea27114b4894c278629)OK, we'll go Dutch.
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So who da hoe??????????????
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So who da hoe??????????????
Weheeel *HIC* I da ho. ***HIC***
EEEeeeny whay, Ho chars eeeny whay ***HIC***
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I launched my Dutch hoe 'javelin' style, aimed at Holland, from the surface of the Moon, but it neder landed.
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I launched my Dutch hoe 'javelin' style, aimed at Holland, from the surface of the Moon, but it neder landed.
Norway that could ever happen!
The Dutch hoe should have landed and hit denmark!
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So who da hoe??????????????
Weheeel *HIC* I da ho. ***HIC***
EEEeeeny whay, Ho chars eeeny whay ***HIC***
[ Invalid Attachment ] (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-eatdrink060.gif&hash=2892b9abcad1d7d83e1c488cacc71215) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
I hope you fired the floor refinishers.
They simply could not hold their lacquer.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffc07.deviantart.net%2Ffs70%2Fi%2F2013%2F333%2F5%2Fd%2Fallie_ho_ho_ho_by_mild2wild_studios-d6w45yd.png&hash=02193e013b95d53c2b7ca6f98dc7a7e0)
Ho no ! It's too early for Christmas!!
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I launched my Dutch hoe 'javelin' style, aimed at Holland, from the surface of the Moon, but it neder landed.
Norway that could ever happen!
The Dutch hoe should have landed and hit denmark!
Could that be? Did I miss the landing?
I shall have to scan d neighvours
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I hope you fired the floor refinishers.
They simply could not hold their lacquer.
Not only that, but they couldn't do the job. They just kept on whining.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffc07.deviantart.net%2Ffs70%2Fi%2F2013%2F333%2F5%2Fd%2Fallie_ho_ho_ho_by_mild2wild_studios-d6w45yd.png&hash=02193e013b95d53c2b7ca6f98dc7a7e0)
Ho no ! It's too early for Christmas!!
Wow! What a stocking filler........ and a bra filler....... and a hot pants filler.......
Calm down lad, before you make a fool of yourself.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.augiedoggy.com%2FSmilies%2Fhot.gif&hash=604ff5b3be82e5ed0e4fc0d78929689c)
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Are you trying to say that she's one real hot potato from Idaho?
-
I launched my Dutch hoe 'javelin' style, aimed at Holland, from the surface of the Moon, but it neder landed.
Norway that could ever happen!
The Dutch hoe should have landed and hit denmark!
Could that be? Did I miss the landing?
I shall have to scan d neighvours
US = scan d neighvors
-
I am much indebted to my American translator.
Just to put a spanner in the works however:-
Welsh - Cymdogion
-
I am much indebted to my American translator.
Just to put a spanner in the works however:-
Welsh - Cymdogion
Well, she bugs you all the time, but Anna really does care for you.
-
Well, she bugs you all the time,
Indeed and she wails at the top of her voice, "What are we going to do?"
My usual reply is "When I come, ah then (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carmarthen) you'll find out."
The usual thing is we sing:
One man gwent to mow,
Gwent to mow a meadow.
One man two men and his dog,
Gwent to mow a meadow.
Why she asks I'll never know, because its never dyffryn (http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/dyffryn-gardens/)t.
-
Ah yes, Carmarthen, the place to take your horse for Caer fy rddin (care free ridding)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.groundspeak.com%2Fwaymarking%2Fdisplay%2F9fd8311f-0290-4a91-b9a9-c9457e7c18d2.JPG&hash=1c781551020d0596f43a6efee6325fc7)
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Now that's a rare bit (http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/welsh_rarebit_05821) of Welsh punning.
-
Well, she bugs you all the time,
Ah yes, Carmarthen, the place to take your horse for Caer fy rddin (care free ridding)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.groundspeak.com%2Fwaymarking%2Fdisplay%2F9fd8311f-0290-4a91-b9a9-c9457e7c18d2.JPG&hash=1c781551020d0596f43a6efee6325fc7)
Indeed and she wails at the top of her voice, "What are we going to do?"
My usual reply is "When I come, ah then (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carmarthen) you'll find out."
The usual thing is we sing:
One man gwent to mow,
Gwent to mow a meadow.
One man two men and his dog,
Gwent to mow a meadow.
Why she asks I'll never know, because its never dyffryn (http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/dyffryn-gardens/)t.
Now that's a rare bit (http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/welsh_rarebit_05821) of Welsh punning.
Don_1 Wins Award Again !!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fblogiau.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F11%2F2014-Welsh-Blog-Awards.jpg&hash=aabe202e3a08b51ccd112967f3697650)
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Where elseh can we find such superb and truly International Punning???
-
...........and to move north of the border:-
Where elseh can we find such superb and truly International Punning???
What a jockular comment.
I rish you all the best in your multilingual punning.
When it comes down to it, Demo is ger man for it, I tal ia.
-
Why she asks I'll never know, because its never dyffryn (http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/dyffryn-gardens/)t.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FCCC2838D-BE31-4D91-836A-7521D78CC110.jpg&hash=a3a183f426926eb359670e49f208f439)
Dyffryn Gardens
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Swimming on the river, the pair looked so hungry I threw some bread in for the por two geese.
Not wishing to be wasteful, when I had finished my beer, I licked en stein to ensure it was empty.
These eastern Europeans are so mad about boating, I think they are suffering from row mania.
-
Why she asks I'll never know, because its never dyffryn (http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/dyffryn-gardens/)t.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FCCC2838D-BE31-4D91-836A-7521D78CC110.jpg&hash=a3a183f426926eb359670e49f208f439)
Dyffryn Gardens
No, no, those are the same gardens.
These are dyffryn gardens:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.avalonschool.co.uk%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F05%2FChelsea-Gardens.jpg&hash=dfa9c3665b98803b37a43a818b9f2bfd)
Chelsea Gardens.
-
Where elseh can we find such superb and truly International Punning???
What a jockular comment.
I rish you all the best in your multilingual punning.
When it comes down to it, Demo is ger man for it, I tal ia.
And on the Eastern front, korreact me if I'm wrong but Europe-UK-US-Canada is not as ianclusive as it can be.
-
And are we afraid we cannot do as well with all other countries?
-
Why she asks I'll never know, because its never dyffryn (http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/dyffryn-gardens/)t.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FCCC2838D-BE31-4D91-836A-7521D78CC110.jpg&hash=a3a183f426926eb359670e49f208f439)
Dyffryn Gardens
No, no, those are the same gardens.
These are dyffryn gardens:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.avalonschool.co.uk%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F05%2FChelsea-Gardens.jpg&hash=dfa9c3665b98803b37a43a818b9f2bfd)
Chelsea Gardens.
Gorgeous, beautiful -- the Chelsea Gardens!!
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Sudanly I find myself all over the map. I must get better organized.
-
Swimming on the river, the pair looked so hungry I threw some bread in for the por two geese.
The nearrow spain of the river gave you the flexibility to do that. Well done.
-
When I answered the phone, a foreign voice started blabbing on about my bank account being suspended and I needed to give him my account number and security details.
"Oh no you don't," I said, "this is just another attempt at a con, go away."
-
A local garage has been advertising its auto conversion service, converting petrol engines to run on propane.
Personally I find the whole idea ludicrous. Its just mad a gas car.
-
Listening to the radio, I heard a beautiful piece played by a string section and wondered what that tune is.
Outside a London pub, a German tourist asked me where he could get an ice cold cola. "Zay charge a vortune fur ein coola in zat platz." He quite rightly said. I directed him to small shop around the corner. As he came back clutching his ice cold can of cola, he said to me, "Zank you. it vos musch cheaper zere zan zi bar."
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I'm thinking of setting up an African tanning parlour, but can't think of a suitable name. I would appreciate any suggestions for a name which would convey to passing trade that they can get tanz in 'ere.
-
Storks on a lush African savannah have been troubled by the rapid rate of grass growth. The seed sticks to the thin layer of keratin which covers the bill and germinates. A lawn on their rostrum is the last thing a stork wants.
So I am volunteering to go to the aid of these birds. My task will be to mow zam beaks.
Now that's what you call contrived punning.
-
Hi tech machines making microchips have gone on strike. They have blockaded the factory gates carrying banners, one of which read "Robots wana better deal."
As I sympathise with them, I'm Ghana join them. Kenya spare the time to come along too?
Their main complaint is the lack of tea breaks, but I'm sure there are Mauritius to be dealt with.
A spokesbot said "We are being dealt a rw and a lot of the time."
Reports claim that som a li a victims of persecution and told not to go to the toilet without permission. One witness said "I sen a gal bolt down a robot as a punishment. u ganda believe me."
-
Now try that old tongue twister:
She sells Seychelles on the sea shore.
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I'm thinking of setting up an African tanning parlour, but can't think of a suitable name. I would appreciate any suggestions for a name which would convey to passing trade that they can get tanz in 'ere.
U ganda have a more specific plan !!
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Kenya try to figure it out so Donnah and I can follow your plan and make mauritain ia ever dreamed of ?
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A spokesbot said "We are being dealt a rw and a lot of the time."
A counter-spokesbot said "We are being dealt a raw deal and a lot of the time.
-
A spokesbot said "We are being dealt a rw and a lot of the time."
A counter-spokesbot said "We are being dealt a raw deal and a lot of the time.
Its bad enough getting rw and a lot of the time through (thru) being made to do the washing up, but this pair keeping treading on my feet giving me a sore Tutsi.
Don't look at me coming the old innocent and asking hutu? Its you two!
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A spokesbot said "We are being dealt a rw and a lot of the time."
A counter-spokesbot said "We are being dealt a raw deal and a lot of the time.
I'd give him a smack on the bottom, that'll give him a raw hide.
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I'd give him a smack on the bottom, that'll give him a raw hide.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fen%2F1%2F12%2FRawhide.jpg&hash=55b54fe0c11722fbae2bd5636835a746)
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A spokesbot said "We are being dealt a rw and a lot of the time."
A counter-spokesbot said "We are being dealt a raw deal and a lot of the time.
Its bad enough getting rw and a lot of the time through (thru) being made to do the washing up, but this pair keeping treading on my feet giving me a sore Tutsi.
Don't look at me coming the old innocent and asking hutu? Its you two!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3.amazonaws.com%2Fhalleonard-pagepreviews%2FHL_DDS_0000000000219760.png&hash=d72d994ff84d6657f58b57078041768b)
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Al Jolson made that song famous, and Jerry Lee Lewis, a famous Hutu pianist, did a nice cover version of that song.
-
Today, September 30, is:
Ask A Stupid Question Day
Huh?
-
Today, September 30, is:
Ask A Stupid Question Day
Huh?
Should I ask today?
-
Today is 'Come & Take it Day'.
October
Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa Su
1 2 3 4 5
7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 31
Looks like I'm too late, somebody already took it.
-
......... And to cap it off, today is also 'Mad Hatters Day'.
I wonder if I can get a Bowler made for my ship?!?!?! I've always wanted a hat for mi lliner.
-
......... And to cap it off, today is also 'Mad Hatters Day'.
I wonder if I can get a Bowler made for my ship?!?!?! I've always wanted a hat for mi lliner.
(https://33.media.tumblr.com/eb04c3d8f34462bda99f4505576a8e00/tumblr_mloqnqpnEe1s4zjvuo7_400.gif)
-
Today is 'Come & Take it Day'.
October
Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa Su
1 2 3 4 5
7 8 9 10 11 12
13 14 15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 29 30 31
Looks like I'm too late, somebody already took it.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcoloringcrew.estaticos.net%2Fcoloring-book%2Fcoloring%2Fnumber-6.png&hash=19e80a956d4f2766e11a9352eabd4821)
-
Today, September 30, is:
Ask A Stupid Question Day
Huh?
Should I ask today?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fiamtechnation.com%2Fmanny%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2014%2F07%2Ftoolate2.jpg&hash=7f44acc0ac03e1650f819b5c3447d3f4)
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Today, September 30, is:
Ask A Stupid Question Day
Huh?
Should I ask today?
Please re-phrase the question; it was stated too intelligently for a Stupid Question Day.
-
"Intelligent"?
Is that a man on the TV? = in telly gent.
-
No.
It's an agent of Intel.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fc%2Fc9%2FIntel-logo.svg%2F2000px-Intel-logo.svg.png&hash=05fb404a4e92d1a4bb4adc8b9bfe2d61)
-
"A stupid comment for every occasion."
May I prevail upon your offer as this my 8,000th post ?
Danke Schoen.
-
***THUD***THUD***THUD***
Mey Lorrds, Laydees and jentlmn. Preeey sylense for 'is nuttiness, Mester Don_whone.
*Cough cough*
Ahem. Meiy Deear friends. Aye schould lieke to say a few werds hupon thes hauspicious hoccasion hoff the heyight thyzandth post maede by hour mozt hadmyred memmber, Meester Demho- grahfex.
E iz, has Iem schore huw har hawhare, ay long standeing memmbher ov thes 'ere fhorum, hand haz meade meny ha contreebhushun to meny ha thread.
Zome 'ave beean most hinformateeve, whhilst others 'ave bheen most hamuuuzing.
*Cough cough* ahem....... aaaa...............aaaaaaaaaaah..................aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh
AHCHOO!
Ahem, beggin youre pardon.
Meestah Grahphex, hor Dhemo, haz e iz knowne to iz friendz 'ere abouet, iz prehaps beast khnowne fer iz hintroduckschun hov thes 'ere puhnning thread.
Ee az mayde meny a pohst hov heightstanding kwalitee, wwhich az ad us hall in steetches and hintoo the bhargin, az brouuhght meny a celebrhatory hoccasion to houre hattenschun.
Zo, Hy wwhould esk hou to rhaize your glarsses, hor contact lenzez, haz happroprihat.
Haha, haha, hahar
JJust mey lettle quwhip thare, in hay tohst to Meester Dehmo Grahphix. Mae 'eh puhnn lhong hintoo the fewtuare.
Haye thenk hewe.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-eatdrink007.gif&hash=5a83f4620bd2d8146450f1b6bc75fb55) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
-
8000 eh!!!
Well, I ate hundreds & thousands.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.punchline-gloucester.com%2Fimages%2Fpageimages%2FIce-Cream-Double-Dip-%28450%29.jpg&hash=593fcb7c3ce44e0e9f37262daf74174c)
-
***THUD***THUD***THUD***
Mey Lorrds, Laydees and jentlmn. Preeey sylense for 'is nuttiness, Mester Don_whone.
*Cough cough*
Ahem. Meiy Deear friends. Aye schould lieke to say a few werds hupon thes hauspicious hoccasion hoff the heyight thyzandth post maede by hour mozt hadmyred memmber, Meester Demho- grahfex.
E iz, has Iem schore huw har hawhare, ay long standeing memmbher ov thes 'ere fhorum, hand haz meade meny ha contreebhushun to meny ha thread.
Zome 'ave beean most hinformateeve, whhilst others 'ave bheen most hamuuuzing.
*Cough cough* ahem....... aaaa...............aaaaaaaaaaah..................aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh
AHCHOO!
Ahem, beggin youre pardon.
Meestah Grahphex, hor Dhemo, haz e iz knowne to iz friendz 'ere abouet, iz prehaps beast khnowne fer iz hintroduckschun hov thes 'ere puhnning thread.
Ee az mayde meny a pohst hov heightstanding kwalitee, wwhich az ad us hall in steetches and hintoo the bhargin, az brouuhght meny a celebrhatory hoccasion to houre hattenschun.
Zo, Hy wwhould esk hou to rhaize your glarsses, hor contact lenzez, haz happroprihat.
Haha, haha, hahar
JJust mey lettle quwhip thare, in hay tohst to Meester Dehmo Grahphix. Mae 'eh puhnn lhong hintoo the fewtuare.
Haye thenk hewe.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-eatdrink007.gif&hash=5a83f4620bd2d8146450f1b6bc75fb55) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
8000 eh!!!
Well, I ate hundreds & thousands.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.punchline-gloucester.com%2Fimages%2Fpageimages%2FIce-Cream-Double-Dip-%28450%29.jpg&hash=593fcb7c3ce44e0e9f37262daf74174c)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi0.kym-cdn.com%2Fphotos%2Fimages%2Foriginal%2F000%2F227%2F867%2Fin-the-original-book-its-over-8000.jpg&hash=7b53780d0e01c8c868274ed4e9b2fa21)
-
***THUD***THUD***THUD***
Mey Lorrds, Laydees and jentlmn. Preeey sylense for 'is nuttiness, Mester Don_whone.
*Cough cough*
Ahem. Meiy Deear friends. Aye schould lieke to say a few werds hupon thes hauspicious hoccasion hoff the heyight thyzandth post maede by hour mozt hadmyred memmber, Meester Demho- grahfex.
E iz, has Iem schore huw har hawhare, ay long standeing memmbher ov thes 'ere fhorum, hand haz meade meny ha contreebhushun to meny ha thread.
Zome 'ave beean most hinformateeve, whhilst others 'ave bheen most hamuuuzing.
*Cough cough* ahem....... aaaa...............aaaaaaaaaaah..................aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh
AHCHOO!
Ahem, beggin youre pardon.
Meestah Grahphex, hor Dhemo, haz e iz knowne to iz friendz 'ere abouet, iz prehaps beast khnowne fer iz hintroduckschun hov thes 'ere puhnning thread.
Ee az mayde meny a pohst hov heightstanding kwalitee, wwhich az ad us hall in steetches and hintoo the bhargin, az brouuhght meny a celebrhatory hoccasion to houre hattenschun.
Zo, Hy wwhould esk hou to rhaize your glarsses, hor contact lenzez, haz happroprihat.
Haha, haha, hahar
JJust mey lettle quwhip thare, in hay tohst to Meester Dehmo Grahphix. Mae 'eh puhnn lhong hintoo the fewtuare.
Haye thenk hewe.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-eatdrink007.gif&hash=5a83f4620bd2d8146450f1b6bc75fb55) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
I have never been so honored!
I must not weep tears of gratitude.
Or is that a sneeze coming on??
Never mind it's MOMENTOUS whatever it is !
THANK YOU, Mester Don_whone!
-
Tankyou bouys very much..you have well and truely helped to keep me ship floating with your comedic banter and arsonal of verbatum punningness fun..lol..... and some of these jokes have become like floating islands of unsinkable....laughter and when in need, a rescuing asylum for me to rest my brain.... and run to, knowing its a safe haven of friends here...I miss you guys...I love you guys..Thanks for the laughter.......()()()()() xxxxx :-) Karen
-
Today is Count Your Buttons Day.
Errrrr.......... Ummmmmm..........
NONE. Well that didn't take long, what shall I do for the rest of the day???
AH! Just moment..... I'll sit down here. Now I have one button.
??????????
I have one butt on this chair.
-
Today is also Reptile Awareness Day.
......and quite rightly so, after all, reptiles have tort us a great deal about telling the truth. Liz ardly ever leave their lips (or beaks).
-
My rather ancient car needs a new speedometer, so I shall have to get the old croc a dial if I am to be able to monitor my speed.
-
Total strangers keep walking along the path behind my garden. I shall have to get a new alley gate or put up with it.
-
Forgive me if I start now, but tomorrow is International St........st............st........................ st........................stu........................st.......................stu............................................st.................
-
Tankyou bouys very much..you have well and truely helped to keep me ship floating with your comedic banter and arsonal of verbatum punningness fun..lol..... and some of these jokes have become like floating islands of unsinkable....laughter and when in need, a rescuing asylum for me to rest my brain.... and run to, knowing its a safe haven of friends here...I miss you guys...I love you guys..Thanks for the laughter.......()()()()() xxxxx :-) Karen
Thank you so much Karen!
Demo
-
Today is Count Your Buttons Day.
Errrrr.......... Ummmmmm..........
NONE. Well that didn't take long, what shall I do for the rest of the day???
AH! Just moment..... I'll sit down here. Now I have one button.
??????????
I have one butt on this chair.
I stared at my belly butt on so much, I was promoted to navel officer.
-
Total strangers keep walking along the path behind my garden. I shall have to get a new alley gate or put up with it.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F78D9EB9D-F673-41C2-B96B-4FD1C1EA7DE3.jpg&hash=9885c9f58ddca920e2220783883e0e9a)
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Forgive me if I start now, but tomorrow is International St........st............st........................ st........................stu........................st.......................stu............................................st.................
....................... uttering Awareness Day.
[ Invalid Attachment ]
-
Total strangers keep walking along the path behind my garden. I shall have to get a new alley gate or put up with it.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F78D9EB9D-F673-41C2-B96B-4FD1C1EA7DE3.jpg&hash=9885c9f58ddca920e2220783883e0e9a)
As I watched the gators in the everglades, suddenly one with a long thin snout appeared. I thought to myself,
"Hello, sign o' genes gone wrong."
-
Today is Count Your Buttons Day.
Errrrr.......... Ummmmmm..........
NONE. Well that didn't take long, what shall I do for the rest of the day???
AH! Just moment..... I'll sit down here. Now I have one button.
??????????
I have one butt on this chair.
I stared at my belly butt on so much, I was promoted to navel officer.
Ummm, Billy, call the naval officer in for his medication please.
-
Mary wondered why she was no longer receiving information from the fertility clinic. She was unaware that they had relocated to new premises until the new place sent her their new address and explaining they had run out of womb at the old offices.
Oh vary funny I'm sure.
-
Billy's boss had offered him a posting overseas. Bill's wife, Mary, said to him, "you tear us apart and we'll never have a baby.
-
Suddenly I heard someone call out,
"Phil, open Ian's tubes.
-
Forgive me if I start now, but tomorrow is International St........st............st........................ st........................stu........................st.......................stu............................................st.................
....................... uttering Awareness Day.
[ Invalid Attachment ]
Whew!!! Just in time!! Congrats!!
-
Suddenly I heard someone call out,
"Phil, open Ian's tubes.
No, you misheard: someone called out, "pizza delivery is here!"
-
Ummm, Billy, call the naval officer in for his medication please.
Mary wondered why she was no longer receiving information from the fertility clinic. She was unaware that they had relocated to new premises until the new place sent her their new address and explaining they had run out of womb at the old offices.
Oh vary funny I'm sure.
Billy's boss had offered him a posting overseas. Bill's wife, Mary, said to him, "you tear us apart and we'll never have a baby.
Suddenly I heard someone call out,
"Phil, open Ian's tubes.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F294AC0C3-2314-4D1A-832D-0C01A4EF4C8C.jpg&hash=176622a5add9e7d4308ab63453d2169b)
Don_1 female punatomy explained.
-
Today is also Reptile Awareness Day.
......and quite rightly so, after all, reptiles have tort us a great deal about telling the truth. Liz ardly ever leave their lips (or beaks).
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FDD8FED36-C75D-4E52-AD0F-D655082888AE.jpg&hash=b0419970f53ad388c618f4a33b415a1b)
-
My rather ancient car needs a new speedometer, so I shall have to get the old croc a dial if I am to be able to monitor my speed.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F51C61C69-F78E-4158-A094-DEAE63C5114E.gif&hash=71f5507e38672d2251e482d7b0990051)
-
My rather ancient car needs a new speedometer, so I shall have to get the old croc a dial if I am to be able to monitor my speed.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F51C61C69-F78E-4158-A094-DEAE63C5114E.gif&hash=71f5507e38672d2251e482d7b0990051)
On seeing this spectacle, a police officer approached the woman and told her that taking such an animal walkies in public was far too dangerous. He told her to pick it up and take it home. The woman said it was far too heavy for her to carry all (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gharial) the way home.
The police officer said "OK men (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caiman) will have to do it for you".
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F294AC0C3-2314-4D1A-832D-0C01A4EF4C8C.jpg&hash=176622a5add9e7d4308ab63453d2169b)
I am much obliged to Demo for this brief diagram of the female reproductive system and would like to thank him for showing his tour direct to me.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FDD8FED36-C75D-4E52-AD0F-D655082888AE.jpg&hash=b0419970f53ad388c618f4a33b415a1b)
Meshelle, who owned the tortoise, asked her man (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermann's_tortoise)n to take her pet to the horse field (http://www.tortoisetrust.org/articles/horsfield.html) for it to forage for food. How could he resist such a request from a woman who radiated (http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/life/Radiated_tortoise) such beauty. And, after all, there was a promise of pancakes (http://www.britishcheloniagroup.org.uk/caresheets/pancake) when they returned home. The tortoise was getting somewhat agitated, so he had to carry a pace (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/carapace) faster. Meshelle declared him to be a star (http://www.tortoisetrust.org/care/celegans.html).
When they got to the horse field (http://www.tortoisetrust.org/articles/horsfield.html), they found a man with a tractor there. He said he could plough & share (http://www.durrell.org/durrell-index/animals/ploughshare-tortoise/) the field with the tortoise, so there was no need to sulk at a (http://www.tortoise-protection-group.org.uk/site/124.asp) crossing of their paths. The ploughman had a cut on his finger, so Meshelle put a plaster on (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/plastron) it for him.
While the ploughman ploughed the middle of the field, the tortoise kept to the margin, ated (http://www.tortoise-protection-group.org.uk/site/90.asp) his fill and then thought he had better go for (http://www.gophertortoisecouncil.org/about-the-tortoise/) a wee wee, before being taken home.
As they went home, they put on a spurt high (http://www.tortoise-protection-group.org.uk/site/files/TGGJuly08.pdf) on the hill because it turned a little cold. When they got home, Meshelle thought to herslf, 'I'll dab the (http://www.nhm.ac.uk/nature-online/species-of-the-day/biodiversity/endangered-species/geochelone-gigantea//index.html) mud off the shell before bedtime'. Bed, for the tortoise, was cosy cardboard box (http://nationalzoo.si.edu/Animals/ReptilesAmphibians/Facts/FactSheets/Easternboxturtle.cfm) on which the lid would hinge back (http://www.tortoisetrust.org/care/ckinixys.html) for easy access.
Meshelle thanked her man (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermann's_tortoise)n for all his help and said he deserved his pancakes (http://www.britishcheloniagroup.org.uk/caresheets/pancake) but first she said "I want to test you though (http://www.tortoisetrust.org/care/cgraeca.html) on all you learnt about tortoises today". With one leap hard (http://www.tortoise-protection-group.org.uk/site/123.asp) into the test, he came out with flying colours.
-
My rather ancient car needs a new speedometer, so I shall have to get the old croc a dial if I am to be able to monitor my speed.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F51C61C69-F78E-4158-A094-DEAE63C5114E.gif&hash=71f5507e38672d2251e482d7b0990051)
On seeing this spectacle, a police officer approached the woman and told her that taking such an animal walkies in public was far too dangerous. He told her to pick it up and take it home. The woman said it was far too heavy for her to carry all (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gharial) the way home.
The police officer said "OK men (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caiman) will have to do it for you".
If I have the right chordata, we could compose a nice song around this!
-
Cor! data good idea.
[ Invalid Attachment ]
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F294AC0C3-2314-4D1A-832D-0C01A4EF4C8C.jpg&hash=176622a5add9e7d4308ab63453d2169b)
No, please don't turn around!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F294AC0C3-2314-4D1A-832D-0C01A4EF4C8C.jpg&hash=176622a5add9e7d4308ab63453d2169b)
No, please don't turn around!
No!
Don't listen to Don_1!
I'll PAY you to turn around!
[;D]
-
Don't listen to Don_1!
I'll PAY you to turn around!
[;D]
NOoooooooo!!!
[ Invalid Attachment ]
Phew!!! You had me worried there.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FEDDE2938-F1FA-46D1-9193-DE457C06567C.gif&hash=e5a174bc28ec41d9abd862b50d17e2f0)
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[ Invalid Attachment ]
"Phew!!!..."
Uhhhhh.....considering the context here.......please clarify the meaning of that sound.
-
.......please clarify the meaning of that sound.
I really should rephewse to do that on the grounds that it might incriminate me. However, under the circumstances and given that there a phew different connotations which anyone phiewing this post could arrive at, I have rephiewed the situation and will attempt to provide some clarity. However, I rephewdiate any misconceptions the reader may arrive at.
This rear phiew of a previous image, lead me to gasp in relief at its content. Since the frontal phiew described the female reproductive system, I was sorely afraid that the rear phiew might describe the……… well I think you get my drift.
I can categorically state that it had nothing to do with any phewmes emanating from this phewture contender for ‘Rear of the Year’.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, as his favourite nephew I must attend to my late uncle’s phewneral with great care if I am to avoid a family phewd.
-
.......please clarify the meaning of that sound.
I really should rephewse to do that on the grounds that it might incriminate me. However, under the circumstances and given that there a phew different connotations which anyone phiewing this post could arrive at, I have rephiewed the situation and will attempt to provide some clarity. However, I rephewdiate any misconceptions the reader may arrive at.
This rear phiew of a previous image, lead me to gasp in relief at its content. Since the frontal phiew described the female reproductive system, I was sorely afraid that the rear phiew might describe the……… well I think you get my drift.
I can categorically state that it had nothing to do with any phewmes emanating from this phewture contender for ‘Rear of the Year’.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, as his favourite nephew I must attend to my late uncle’s phewneral with great care if I am to avoid a family phewd.
Phewer than 2 people win this Very Special Award.
Guess who wins?
Our very own Punning Ph.D., Don_1!!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fphew_expression_of_relief_sayings_award-r1684f6e09e6f4cdc89ca48eedc4d3672_8bozs_8byvr_324.jpg&hash=5dacf837a0c7c442c95eed19e0bb313b)
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[ Invalid Attachment ]
And also this Award...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funawards.com%2Ftrophies%2Fimages-lg%2Fhorses-rear-award.jpg&hash=b69d5fd1b388734be1274a1cdcc5c3aa)
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Today is Count Your Buttons Day.
Errrrr.......... Ummmmmm..........
NONE. Well that didn't take long, what shall I do for the rest of the day???
AH! Just moment..... I'll sit down here. Now I have one button.
??????????
I have one butt on this chair.
I stared at my belly butt on so much, I was promoted to navel officer.
Ummm, Billy, call the naval officer in for his medication please.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Flaughing%2Flaughter.gif&hash=d2067f8151db265b92c9c3a3f0adea77)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funawards.com%2Ftrophies%2Fimages-lg%2Fhorses-rear-award.jpg&hash=b69d5fd1b388734be1274a1cdcc5c3aa)
You're horsing around again, aren't you.
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A Fukashima Radiation Alert... CNN - 27 minutes ago
A Fukushima Radiation Alert has been issued for the West Coast of the United States, including new clearer information about where it's going. It's an increasingly heated debate among the beach crowd here in Santa Barbara, California. Surfers say they haven't really noticed anything unusual.... "The Fukushima thing is just a pile of nonsense. There's definitely a change in the hair since the meltdowns and everyone's a little uneasy, but we're just out here having a great time. The water's fine, the girls are really HOT and the waves are like totally RAD dude!"
[(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs15.postimg.org%2Fy56ijtyx5%2FUntitledmnmmmmmmmmmmmm.jpg&hash=2feb2285d122b9ffe900ae73856b0a58)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funawards.com%2Ftrophies%2Fimages-lg%2Fhorses-rear-award.jpg&hash=b69d5fd1b388734be1274a1cdcc5c3aa)
You're horsing around again, aren't you.
Nah. I'm just being a horse's a** .
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funawards.com%2Ftrophies%2Fimages-lg%2Fhorses-rear-award.jpg&hash=b69d5fd1b388734be1274a1cdcc5c3aa)
A posh person has asked if this is what they mean by a 'gelding'.
Air, aye sey, is these whhhat they meean, eets been covered in geld all h'over. Haye airbsoluutlay mahrvelhouse.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fkeep_calm_and_focus_on_gelding_poster-r2aa31661d4494b3abf9d17001a68aa8d_wv3_8byvr_324.jpg&hash=a502c3208aaceb31c7d28b3c0d009211)
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This evening, October 30, is:
Haunted Refrigerator Night
He wasn't haunted, but George Westinghouse was a refrigerator magnate.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1.cpcache.com%2Fproduct%2F1135478854%2Fgeorge_westinghouse_american_eng_rectangle_magnet.jpg%3Fheight%3D225%26amp%3Bwidth%3D225&hash=b2f29aa682c24e7dfb8bfe16f4ba4d7c)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fkeep_calm_and_focus_on_gelding_poster-r2aa31661d4494b3abf9d17001a68aa8d_wv3_8byvr_324.jpg&hash=a502c3208aaceb31c7d28b3c0d009211)
Is this a writer's geld?
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Yes, Donnah....but no dues required!
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.......please clarify the meaning of that sound.
I really should rephewse to do that on the grounds that it might incriminate me. However, under the circumstances and given that there a phew different connotations which anyone phiewing this post could arrive at, I have rephiewed the situation and will attempt to provide some clarity. However, I rephewdiate any misconceptions the reader may arrive at.
This rear phiew of a previous image, lead me to gasp in relief at its content. Since the frontal phiew described the female reproductive system, I was sorely afraid that the rear phiew might describe the……… well I think you get my drift.
I can categorically state that it had nothing to do with any phewmes emanating from this phewture contender for ‘Rear of the Year’.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, as his favourite nephew I must attend to my late uncle’s phewneral with great care if I am to avoid a family phewd.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.shopify.com%2Fs%2Ffiles%2F1%2F0221%2F5606%2Fproducts%2Fbday_breathing_card_1024x1024.jpg%3Fv%3D1405454056&hash=3568ed1610fc2fbc0273c61cad6605fd)
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Lol....lol....See what I mean...lol....I like the butt on this chair pretty good but...I could BARELY see The punchline for I was too wooried about my HINDSIGHT..being so far BEHIND me that I could'nt concentrate on the HOLE in my DONUT as I lined up my SEAT with in it to the chair....lol..
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I do hope you weren't scraping from the bottom of the barrel Karen.
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This evening, October 30, is:
Haunted Refrigerator Night
He wasn't haunted, but George Westinghouse was a refrigerator magnate.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1.cpcache.com%2Fproduct%2F1135478854%2Fgeorge_westinghouse_american_eng_rectangle_magnet.jpg%3Fheight%3D225%26amp%3Bwidth%3D225&hash=b2f29aa682c24e7dfb8bfe16f4ba4d7c)
Or was he a refrigerator magnet?
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Flaughing%2Flaughter.gif&hash=d2067f8151db265b92c9c3a3f0adea77)
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Where's Waldo ??
Where's George ??
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I do hope you weren't scraping from the bottom of the barrel Karen.
Oh dear..indeed, scrapping The bottom was merely an inSTINKive MOVEMENT that is RECTEMized by most BUTT heads as a must for ELIMINATING the Terd dangling by a mREAR butt hair ...that has been growing increasingly annoying, while trying to evacuate from the BACKSIDE, between the BUN isles at the REAR, of the large and small INTESTINE....LOL.... [:I]
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Its quite, the BUNNY situation when you think about it , but I am ever so happy to say that it always comes out in the END! XXX
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Karen, I can only offer you the same advice that Mr Spock gave to Capt. Kirk, 'beware the Klingons'.
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Where's Waldo ??
Where's George ??
I have no idea where George is, but I can tell you that the wall do is holding up the roof.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flolzombie.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F08%2Fwheres-waldo-beach.jpg&hash=1ca8f7091e554f1970f5269ba80187aa)
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Its quite, the BUNNY situation when you think about it , but I am ever so happy to say that it always comes out in the END! XXX
Q. Do you know how to catch a unique bunny?
A. Unique up on it
Q. Do you know how to catch a tame bunny?
A. Tame way!
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lol...lol....Too cute!! lol..
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Karen, I can only offer you the same advice that Mr Spock gave to Capt. Kirk, 'beware the Klingons'.
Lol...No worries.... I'll use a fish scaler....to remove the ones with a tendency to be Klingons!!!lol...
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Karen, I can only offer you the same advice that Mr Spock gave to Capt. Kirk, 'beware the Klingons'.
Lol...No worries.... I'll use a fish scaler....to remove the ones with a tendency to be Klingons!!!lol...
Uh oh! I heard that someone just had an explosive passage of gas, I'd say about 8.0 on the sphincter scale.
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November, 2014 is:
Adopt A Senior Pet Month
http://www.nhes.org/sections/view/285
See pig photo (above link) as a nice example of how one can pay tribute to this ambitious Month!
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Karen, I can only offer you the same advice that Mr Spock gave to Capt. Kirk, 'beware the Klingons'.
Lol...No worries.... I'll use a fish scaler....to remove the ones with a tendency to be Klingons!!!lol...
Uh oh! I heard that someone just had an explosive passage of gas, I'd say about 8.0 on the sphincter scale.
lol...lol....
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Today is Cliché Day.
How many science related Clichés will be used by PhDs on this site today?
That will be the acid test.
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Today is Cliché Day.
How many science related Clichés will be used by PhDs on this site today?
That will be the acid test.
Help! No Ph.D., I'm an MBA cid dropout!
edit 'dropout': I didn't complete the former (MBA); I didn't touch the latter (acid).
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Saxophone Day, November 6, 2014!
https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/saxophone-day/
When a musician's toupee fell into his saxophone he blew his top.
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Saxophone Day, November 6, 2014!
https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/saxophone-day/
When a musician's toupee fell into his saxophone he blew his top.
Surly you mean "....he blew his toupee."
English = too-pay
US English = toop
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Saxophone Day, November 6, 2014!
Alex said to his lovely young assistant, Clara, "Come, see what I have invented."
Clara puzzled over the object and then asked, "What is it?"
Alex replied, "Why, s'ats a phone.
Yes, Mr Bell was always blowing his own trumpet, but he was no businessman, so Clara netted all the profit.
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Saxophone Day, November 6, 2014!
https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/saxophone-day/
When a musician's toupee fell into his saxophone he blew his top.
Surly you mean "....he blew his toupee."
English = too-pay
US English = toop
Saxophone Day, November 6, 2014!
Alex said to his lovely young assistant, Clara, "Come, see what I have invented."
Clara puzzled over the object and then asked, "What is it?"
Alex replied, "Why, s'ats a phone.
Yes, Mr Bell was always blowing his own trumpet, but he was no businessman, so Clara netted all the profit.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fsaxy_and_i_know_it_award-r8f43bab092364641934bfd3a5fd6e295_8bozu_8byvr_324.jpg&hash=1c72914c85f1c90d52ff987986b55ed4)
Yep! That's what they say about Don_1!!
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Yep! That's what they say about Don_1!!
I've never heard anyone say that about me! "Sixty", now that I have heard, though not for some years now (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Fsad%2Fdepressed.gif&hash=d1b142bedb9bcabd0ca4eb473e6cc75b) (http://www.sherv.net/)
Mind you, I don't hear much at all these days, must be something to do with the tuba glue in my ears. You'll have to whistle to get my attention, but be sure you piccolo note. Don't take my word for it, just try it to corroborate it for yourself.
But I am getting on a bit, everything's confused, even my skeleton. That's why I call it my maelstrom bones.
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........ I am getting on a bit,
I should be so lucky!!! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Fsad%2Fcry-blow.gif&hash=01bd967a65b715417c3b71f7c5a0fdfc) (http://www.sherv.net/)
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Today is "Hug a Bear Day".
Not on your nelly!!! What do you take me for??? Don't answer that.
All sounds a bit grizzly to me. I think you need to suffering from bipolar problems to hug a bear.
I've always wanted to take a picture of a wild bear, but alas I have a Nikon. Apparently you need a Kodiak. Well, I'm not going to panda to such niceties. I don't want to make a spectacle of myself.
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On the matter of bears, did you know that there was the Ailuropoda microta?
Now extinct, this bear is sometimes commonly referred to as the Dwarf Giant Panda or Pygmy Giant Panda.
Since the words 'dwarf' and 'pygmy' rather tend to cancel out 'giant', why isn't it just known as the 'Panda'???
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Today is "Hug a Bear Day"
This should be the official dress code ...
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Today is "Hug a Bear Day"
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-_Dl82zbj1v4%2FUGJp7-GiQqI%2FAAAAAAAAD3Q%2FhMKaf8KXqQA%2Fs1600%2F1001p%252B%252528221%252529%252Bgenuine%252Bbear%252Bhug-Image%252Bby%252BSrdjan%252BZivulovic%252B%2525EF%252580%2525A2%252BReuters.jpg&hash=4c305b2add4e6db85c9fb79386435dc7)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fsaxy_and_i_know_it_award-r8f43bab092364641934bfd3a5fd6e295_8bozu_8byvr_324.jpg&hash=1c72914c85f1c90d52ff987986b55ed4)
Yep! That's what they say about Don_1!!
I've never heard anyone say that about me!
Don_1, wake up!
They all talk behind your sax!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funawards.com%2Ftrophies%2Fimages-lg%2Fhorses-rear-award.jpg&hash=b69d5fd1b388734be1274a1cdcc5c3aa)
You're horsing around again, aren't you.
Nah. I'm just being a horse's a** .
UK = a***
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Today is "Hug a Bear Day"
This should be the official dress code ...
....and this the song??? http://wn.com/huggy_bear_(band) (http://wn.com/huggy_bear_(band))
Its riot grrrl band.
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Nah. I'm just being a horse's a** .
UK = a***
I thought we were just two peoples divided by a common language. I didn't realise we were also divided by an asterisk!
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Today is National Dunce Day.
Funny, I thought my birthday was in August.
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YES FOLKS, ITS TRUE TODAY IS
Abet and Aid Punsters Day
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Look into my ayes = PUNSTARES
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Sell this escalator = PAWNSTAIRS
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They sat at the table and broke bread = BUNS TEARS
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YES FOLKS, ITS TRUE TODAY IS
Abet and Aid Punsters Day
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Faidandabet.org%2Fassets%2Fimg%2Flogo.png&hash=e8a857c8fce3c9c0c07c37d9d2d9848f)
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I aid a bet that demo wouldn't post that. Looks like I lost.
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Cattle fed on bread rolls = bun steers.
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There's plenty more where that came from, I keep them in my pun stores.
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There's plenty more where that came from, I keep them in my pun stores.
Haha! Don_1 is always the king of pun sters!
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Sell this escalator = PAWNSTAIRS
$Buy this escalator = $UP$TAIR$
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Today is "Hug a Bear Day"
This should be the official dress code ...
....and this the song??? http://wn.com/huggy_bear_(band) (http://wn.com/huggy_bear_(band))
Its riot grrrl band.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F3432D07F-6665-4FA7-8BFF-6860C235E02B_1.jpg&hash=e3b3fa031b120e24d44b1de432fab258)
I hope that's not Anna again with her friend 'Reckless Rick'!
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I aid a bet that demo wouldn't post that. Looks like I lost.
Aida is the biggest if not the best opera ever performed on the opera stage.
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Nah. I'm just being a horse's a** .
UK = a***
I thought we were just two peoples divided by a common language. I didn't realise we were also divided by an asterisk!
Don_1 wins The 2014 Asterisk Award ! Congratulations!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1.ytimg.com%2Fvi%2FfZVwbUQNrLw%2F0.jpg&hash=f56f9ff213509c7451d2baf18613ba41)
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ps - whoops,forgot to mention, the system itself will cost you £5,000/year...sorry...
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We have flexible payment schedules.
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I aid a bet that demo wouldn't post that. Looks like I lost.
Aida is the biggest if not the best opera ever performed on the opera stage.
Now I don't wish to be a name dropper, but during a match in which I played as a sweeper and David Beckham as the striker, I was perfectly positioned for a shot at the goal. Beckham raced down the left wing with total control of the ball. He crossed it to me and aida it toward the top right corner of the goal mouth. The keeper thought he had the shot covered, but the ball was spinning and Verdi to the right, straight into the back of the net. The crowd roared with delight. "Gius!!! eppeness was in the air.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.52composers.com%2Fimages%2Fverdi-tile300.jpg&hash=122220e16ac0d3e8af37c8766b625bf6)
"Thanks, Don_1!
GV"
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That' quite some liszt there. Just one question, bizet all operatic works?
I'd listen to some now if I could hear properly, but the dog next door is making such a row. He offen bachs as he plays with a schu bert then he goes off playing haydn seek.
If you are having trouble unravelling the post, rip your corsets off to allow better blood flow to your brain.
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Why äre thöse musical names sö difficült -- ßharp we must be tö understand, I guess .
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That' quite some liszt there. Just one question, bizet all operatic works?
I'd listen to some now if I could hear properly, but the dog next door is making such a row. He offen bachs as he plays with a schu bert then he goes off playing haydn seek.
If you are having trouble unravelling the post, rip your corsets off to allow better blood flow to your brain.
Don_1 wins!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fen%2Fb%2Fb1%2FClassic_BRIT_Awards_logo.png&hash=9696f7482598d4fc307fe8e413b3aec8)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F24F2D46E-1A93-418B-82F8-850CFE628A3E.jpg&hash=57e0302e114bc0af370fa83bcbf3424f)
Waiting for Don_1 to come onstage and accept his 2014 Brit Award !
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Waiting for Don_1 to come onstage and accept his 2014 Brit Award !
So many people!!! They aspir all of them to reach the top of the ladder.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcommunity.ebay.com%2Febay01%2Fattachments%2Febay01%2F2124%2F257020%2F1%2Fth_AnimatedLaughter.gif&hash=62bdfd8367fe97a9162f66b19f03f72c)
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Another "Stairway To Heaven" I presume.
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Another "Stairway To Heaven" I presume.
I shall resist the temptation to do that pun about the Marx Bros. The one that goes 'Harpo led zeppolin to the restaurant.
Opps!
Sorry, I didn't mean to plant that one on you. I shall refrain from such puns at least until we turn the page.
"I should zinc zo." Said the Frenchman eating his lunch, adding, "Zis is un bon ham zandwhich."
"Hey, you, Frenchy; no going to sleep after lunch here. We don't want you going for a nap o lyin about."
"Who me Monsieur? Whhy ze very psought could nut 'ave bin furtheur fgrom ma mihnd. Anyvon whho mackes zuch un zuggeztion I will tear limb fgrom limb. I shall rip their bone apart."
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It was Napoleon who gave rise to the saying 'Be careful of what you wish for."
Emerging from the latrine, he complained, "Ih do noht lhike zees pissoire sans l'eau. I whish I 'ad a water loo.
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It was Napoleon who gave rise to the saying 'Be careful of what you wish for."
Emerging from the latrine, he complained, "Ih do noht lhike zees pissoire sans l'eau. I whish I 'ad a water loo.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.hpssims.com%2Fpages%2Fproducts%2FNapBat%2Fwaterloo%2FWaterloo-Cover.jpg&hash=7bde1720fb8377acc2386e255013fc98)
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Besides , it's unfair to Anna's dog!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.gizmag.com%2Fhero%2Fdrink-no-more.jpg&hash=e5491c8f455f7d7d39c95b8b799aaa1f)
Quoting Don_1's Mr. Bone Apart: "Ih (Monsieur Le Doggy) do noht lhike zees pissoire sans l'eau. I whish I 'ad a water loo."
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Odyn has a bone to pick with Wiley wolf.
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Odyn has a bone to pick with Wiley wolf.
My money's on Odyn!!!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thenakedscientists.com%2Fforum%2Findex.php%3Faction%3Ddlattach%3Btopic%3D31700.0%3Battach%3D19264&hash=0cce353120e11817212a25f5815e23dc)
Here's Odyn about to chop up Wiley wolf with sharp feline axioms!
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First Odyn was alarmed...
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But then he decided it was okay because he could duck.
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But then he decided it was okay because he could duck.
When I was a bartender, the duck said to me, 'put it on my bill.'
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First Odyn was alarmed...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thenakedscientists.com%2Fforum%2Findex.php%3Faction%3Ddlattach%3Btopic%3D31700.0%3Battach%3D19278&hash=5ca0afbf917d971d19919a0fb8d7cb6c)
Don_1 always keeps an alarm clock in the back window of his car.
He is always ahead of his time.
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Wheelie?
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C'mon, Dohhah, you know I'm hurdly ever rong!
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You're having a good run, you must be on a roll.
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You're having a good run, you must be on a roll.
I lost my job: deep cuts were made in the guillotine industry and heads rolled.
If you know anyone sharp who needs an expert cutter, I'll slice off some of my cutting edge/state-of-the-art resumes with my razor-edged teeth -- and get them to you ASAP.
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[
................ the guillotine industry
Did you know the gill o' teen sharks come in five pairs?
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First Odyn was alarmed...
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"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn
Q. - Where are the Andes?
A. - At the end of your armes
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Besides , it's unfair to Anna's dog!!
[ Invalid Attachment ]
Quoting Don_1's Mr. Bone Apart: "Ih (Monsieur Le Doggy) do noht lhike zees pissoire sans l'eau. I whish I 'ad a water loo."
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First Odyn was alarmed...
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"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn
Q. - Where are the Andes?
A. - At the end of your armes
I'm not so sure...I just couldn't stand to be without my legs.
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Without legs, life would be a bummer.
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True, Donnah. And some bummers need donated items to sit on -- it's called chairity.
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................ the guillotine industry
Did you know the gill o' teen sharks come in five pairs?
No. But Grandma just got attacked by a shark!:
http://cheezburger.com/62285057
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At the Calgary zoo I saw a rude little girl making faces at a large male gorilla. He turned around and pushed his bum into the glass where her face was. The rude little girl was horrified. Bummer.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC9CCF978-06A5-4669-8519-7C89D76ABC94.gif&hash=95190e384115d5d7f6311dc2c097774a)
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At the Calgary zoo I saw a rude little girl making faces at a large male gorilla. He turned around and pushed his bum into the glass where her face was ...
This Boo-luga (http://youtu.be/Hh84Oe8JxUQ?t=59s) whale is more playful.
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"Baby Beluga" was one of my kids' (as youngsters) favorite songs - joyful images.
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In the mid 1980s I was having a lovely conversation with a Beluga at the Vancouver aquarium. We were both pregnant. Some noisy tourists with a plethora of cameras came and horned in on our moment. The beluga ducked under water and bobbed back up, spraying water all over the tourists (but not me). Soon the Spew-luga and I were alone again.
After giving birth to my son, he was a Raffi fan too, and "Baby Beluga" was a favourite song. You could say that album was a whale of a success.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC9CCF978-06A5-4669-8519-7C89D76ABC94.gif&hash=95190e384115d5d7f6311dc2c097774a)
Hey Demo...You must have misunderstood me... I said, " I was Ape over You," not "The Ape at the zoo"!
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After giving birth to my son, he was a Raffi fan too, and "Baby Beluga" was a favourite song. You could say that album was a whale of a success.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.animateit.net%2Fdata%2Fmedia%2F17%2Forkasani3-KillerWhale-Orcas-Animated.gif&hash=29e86ffbb96b0bd94f5e86815e60e323)
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Hey Demo...You must have misunderstood me... I said, " I was Ape over You," not "The Ape at the zoo"!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ai-therapy.com%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F01%2FMan-embarrased2.jpg&hash=60125060c7145e0c3e4f1522f0a1890d)
<blushing>
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What??? Demo's stumped for words???!!!
And why do boys get the best eyelashes anyway?
-
1. What??? Demo's stumped for words???!!!
2. And why do boys get the best eyelashes anyway?
1. That's no stump. That's a full grown tree !!
2. Aren't THESE eyelashes cuter????
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F1C29A072-B8E8-40AD-83FC-30D114E36322.jpg&hash=142f033b40d00e64d52327e1bc887648)
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I'd be lion if I said I wasn't feeling catty.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.shrineofsaintjude.net%2Fhumor-102.gif&hash=6ae67bf5b6ca4419d8184f67c545b076)
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lol...lol...aww such a blushing guy....and I agree with the girlies getting the best of the lashes....(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F%5Battachment%3D19310%5D%5B%2Fattachment%5D&hash=9b27af7d310ad9b1dbdd8a340841c23e)
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I agree with the girlies getting the best of the lashes....
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thenakedscientists.com%2Fforum%2Findex.php%3Faction%3Ddlattach%3Btopic%3D31700.0%3Battach%3D19310&hash=430e6e80fdddec7167f786b9df7aea00)
Now don't you be lion by trying to compare lashes between The Tooth Lady and Lilly Lioncub (3rd post above)!
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...belated...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F7EAB8279-2945-424C-A18D-BD7B4B7B1292.gif&hash=894ec3f8aca9dcb9793218036f8d020a)
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Happy belated back to you too! It was a terrific day here! Thanks Demo!
...belated...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F7EAB8279-2945-424C-A18D-BD7B4B7B1292.gif&hash=894ec3f8aca9dcb9793218036f8d020a)
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Good! Who needs a ghoulish day ??
-
Not me.... No Boo hoos here!
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Not me.... No Boo hoos here!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.timskelton.com%2Fpostpics%2Fahole%2Fboo_hoo.jpg&hash=d464574d723e4d3b92f11679d4588558)
(https://openclipart.org/image/800px/svg_to_png/28689/skotan_No-sign.png)
-
Who is this masquerading as The one & only Demografx?
Why, 'tis I, Don_1. Look..... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pic4ever.com%2Fimages%2Fm169.gif&hash=458cb2d9234a9c91f104c96973582b9d)
Yes, I am a dirty little hacker. Believe me, I've been called worse than that before now.
Now, what mischief can I get up to.............?
"Oh no, it wasn't me, it waas that naughty Demo, honest............... hehehe"
This is Demodon signing off, or is it Dondemo signing off?
-
HELP !!!!!
IDENTITY (demo-dentity) THEFT!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgifsec.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2FGIF%2F2014%2F05%2Ffearful-reaction-gif.gif&hash=7e223f874b036d4dc3a409ca2615d207)
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In all sincerity, [edit: and despite his identity theft]... [;D]...I must thank Don_1 as the reason I'm....baaaaaaack!
The NSF password mysteries of my iPhone have been conquered -- but mainly WITH DON_1'S HELP!!!!
Thank you Don_1!!!!!!!!!!
Demo
-
And *many* thanks to NSF's "daveshorts" for his technical guidance in resolving my password issues!
-
Who is this masquerading as The one & only Demografx?
Why, 'tis I, Don_1. Look..... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pic4ever.com%2Fimages%2Fm169.gif&hash=458cb2d9234a9c91f104c96973582b9d)
Yes, I am a dirty little hacker. Believe me, I've been called worse than that before now.
Now, what mischief can I get up to.............?
"Oh no, it wasn't me, it waas that naughty Demo, honest............... hehehe"
This is Demodon signing off, or is it Dondemo signing off?
YIKES!!!!
The hacker has been hacked.
I've been edited, no wonder my 'ead 'urts, its been 'it.
I might have guessed you'd strike through back.
-
By the way, due to my hacking, I, in fact, have 6656 posts (inc this one) and Demo has 8078 up to the post above. But it will never show. Boy am I hacked off.
-
By the way, due to my hacking, I, in fact, have 6656 posts (inc this one) and Demo has 8078 up to the post above. But it will never show. Boy am I hacked off.
At breakfast, "Don_1 The Hacker" downloaded cornflakes via his cereal port!
-
YIKES!!!!
The hacker has been hacked.
I've been edited, no wonder my 'ead 'urts, its been 'it.
I might have guessed you'd strike through back.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia.giphy.com%2Fmedia%2F38WaQf8IZHz8c%2Fgiphy.gif&hash=d69ce7f57389e637946359a648ec155f)
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December, 2014 is:
National Tie Month
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.verylol.com%2F1%2Ffunny_tie.jpg&hash=4be2c7fabb96d78795effaafbfc1deb1)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.esellerpro.com%2F2152%2FI%2F513%2F91%2FlrgBA817.jpg&hash=eb99cb4e5402b9d88fec05e82643add3)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wall321.com%2Fthumbnails%2Fdetail%2F20120524%2Fcats%2520animals%2520humor%2520tie%2520glasses%2520funny%2520kittens%2520watches%25201600x1200%2520wallpaper_www.wall321.com_57.jpg&hash=bdc0059289329ec225bce86e74bc399a)
Holiday present(s) appropriate for Odyn????
-
He saw them on the catwalk.
-
I've yet to receive an invite from The Fashion Industry [:(]
-
Maybe you need to paws, Don_1 fur coat and put a little meow in the mix.
-
Maybe you need to paws, Don_1 fur coat and put a little meow in the mix.
(https://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmpvyg6Vc11qazkdco1_500.gif)
-
December, 2014 is:
Tomato and Winter Squash Month
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB0A32C4D-EB02-4612-93B8-14A08A6F2004.jpg&hash=d90d2cf3fd1c4580c49c8a5809568d28)
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I've yet to receive an invite from The Fashion Industry [:(]
Maybe you need to paws, Don_1 fur coat and put a little meow in the mix.
But I thought I'd need to don _2_ fur coats to stand out from the rest!
Doesn't Don_1 get left out this way???
-
I'm thinking of setting up an African tanning parlour, but can't think of a suitable name. I would appreciate any suggestions for a name which would convey to passing trade that they can get tanz in 'ere.
"TANGENTS"!
(Although now we need another name for the ladies !)
-
Some of your embarrassed customers who wish to preserve their reputations should put on more sun tan lotion in order to save face.
-
If you had drive through tanning you could call it tango. Or if they tanned in the salon you could call it tannin, especially if they had a "cuppa" while they waited.
-
If you had drive through tanning you could call it tango. Or if they tanned in the salon you could call it tannin, especially if they had a "cuppa" while they waited.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.netanimations.net%2FLaughing-chimp-gif-animation.gif&hash=fa8259201e58ad45adc1f58d85261b89)
-
December, 2014 is:
Tomato and Winter Squash Month
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB0A32C4D-EB02-4612-93B8-14A08A6F2004.jpg&hash=d90d2cf3fd1c4580c49c8a5809568d28)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FECA4B913-EB11-4271-AA24-1E7EBBF786B8.jpg&hash=bcd5efeaf12d6f7b996de040389331ff)
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So…is that the squash before or after it was digested?
-
So…is that the squash before or after it was digested?
(https://fitforaqueen.files.wordpress.com/2014/10/laughing-squash.jpg)
-
I'm thinking of setting up an African tanning parlour...
US = parlor
French = parlez
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Could be a bit of a white elephant.
-
Like this?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clker.com%2Fcliparts%2FE%2FP%2Fn%2Fu%2FB%2FS%2Fwhite-elephant-md.png&hash=6fff769dff5bf07e8b19b941526e0328)
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I'm thinking of setting up an African tanning parlour...
US = parlor
French = parlez
THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY!!!
-
The elephant made a trunk call to his friend Ivor in tuscany.
-
I'm thinking of setting up an African tanning parlour...
US = parlor
French = parlez
THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY!!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fd29ci68ykuu27r.cloudfront.net%2Fproduct%2F190X400%2F19441948.jpg&hash=87056c0f2980b03a7ef223812946fe08)
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THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY!!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fd29ci68ykuu27r.cloudfront.net%2Fproduct%2F190X400%2F19441948.jpg&hash=87056c0f2980b03a7ef223812946fe08)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fc%2Fc7%2FMusic-flat.svg%2F100px-Music-flat.svg.png&hash=4f2e27522e3ca99646437dcb8a851631)
........ and on that note, I would like to add this note: [ Invalid Attachment ]
-
[ Invalid Attachment ]
Had it not been for King George III, who knows?
-
Today is National Dress Up your Pet Day.
I get the feeling poor old Fido will be dressed up like a dog's dinner.
There'll be a Puss in Boots and a Cat suit.
Bubbles, the goldfish, will be stitched up like a kipper.
-
[ Invalid Attachment ]
Had it not been for King George III, who knows?
On the other hand...... [ Invalid Attachment ]
-
Today is National Dress Up your Pet Day.
If it needs sedating first, try this stuff ...
[ Invalid Attachment ]
http://www.petco.com/product/6213/Good-Dog-Pet-Calming-Supplement.aspx
Rumour has it that it's about 13% alcohol [!] ...
https://www.change.org/p/petco-remove-pet-medications-that-contain-high-doses-of-alcohol
So more "Mad-Dog" than "Good-Dog"...
Mad Dog 20/20 , 18% or 13% alcohol by volume.
... As majestic as the cascading waters of a drain pipe, Mad Dog 20/20 is bottled by the 20/20 wine company in Westfield, New York ... Available in various nauseating tropical flavors that coat your whole system like bathtub scum ...
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Mad+Dog+20%2F20
-
[ Invalid Attachment ]
Had it not been for King George III, who knows?
What's that silly looking crown doing on Obama's head???
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.noveltieswholesale.com%2Ffiles%2FOBAMABILL.jpg&hash=330c5d967942660b87b50f98aa18d745)
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A little lamb came home from school one day. "Bahhhh." He said to his Mummy. She replied "Oink."
This confused the lamb who barracked her, "Oh bah Ma!"
-
Don_1
Neilep Level Member
******
Posts: 6666
Is this "Evil" plus 6?????
Or "Evil Extended"???
-
Today is National Dress Up your Pet Day.
If it needs sedating first, try this stuff ...
[ Invalid Attachment ]
http://www.petco.com/product/6213/Good-Dog-Pet-Calming-Supplement.aspx
Rumour has it that it's about 13% alcohol [!] ...
Good-Dog hangover the next day?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mensfitness.com%2Fsites%2Fmensfitness.com%2Ffiles%2Fd6%2Fhangover_dog.jpg&hash=259d08f3860e819c10c52018bc4325d6)
-
:
[ Invalid Attachment ]
[ Invalid Attachment ]
-
Don_1
Neilep Level Member
******
Posts: 6666
Is this "Evil" plus 6?????
Or "Evil Extended"???
Devil with a stutter?
-
Is it any coincidence that 'evil' is 'live' spelled backwards & 'devil' is 'lived' spelled backwards?
What's more, 'Beelzebub' spelled backwards is 'bubezleeb'! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileyshack.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F12%2Fsconfused_100-134.gif&hash=6607e058026c93d7a7639f69e29f1bac)
-
Don_1
Neilep Level Member
******
Posts: 6666
Is this "Evil" plus 6?????
Or "Evil Extended"???
Devil with a stutter?
"We at Anti-Gareth Gates have unearthed some alarming facts about the stuttering Pop Idol known as Gareth Gates which could very well prove that he is none other than Satan, Old Nick, Lucifer, Beelzebub, The Prince of Darkness, The Lord of the Flies!
Yes, we think Gareth Gates is the earthly incarnation of the Devil himself !! After all, how else could he brainwash thousands of innocent children into voting for a stuttering little retard unless they were under some sort of evil Wicca spell !"
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funkybunky.co.uk%2Fmedia%2Fecom%2Fprodxl%2FGareth-Gates.jpg&hash=6cddacba2d419e46fcb10019aa87eb95)
http://www.angelfire.com/in4/antigarethgates/the_black_thistle.htm
-
Is it any coincidence that 'evil' is 'live' spelled backwards & 'devil' is 'lived' spelled backwards?
What's more, 'Beelzebub' spelled backwards is 'bubezleeb'! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileyshack.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F12%2Fsconfused_100-134.gif&hash=6607e058026c93d7a7639f69e29f1bac)
Don_1 spelled backwards is 1_Nod (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileyshack.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F12%2Fsconfused_100-134.gif&hash=6607e058026c93d7a7639f69e29f1bac)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flowres.cartoonstock.com%2Fmarriage-relationships-land_of_nod-sleeps-fall_asleep-naps-sleeping-mmon347_low.jpg&hash=6da4084f29c75182031e266a6aa419f6)
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:
[ Invalid Attachment ]
[ Invalid Attachment ]
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.animateit.net%2Fdata%2Fmedia%2Fjune2010%2Favatar_4437.gif&hash=db25974c0b30eaa7145f521d0b654bed)
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Do horses eat a stable diet?
-
I'm looking for a case to keep my documents in, what would you recommend?
Attaché .
Bless you.
-
Do horses eat a stable diet?
Young horses need a stable environment where they are free to foal up and be reined in before they come to serious harm.
-
I'm looking for a case to keep my documents in, what would you recommend?
Attaché .
Bless you.
I prefer a meatier case to keep my documents in.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.saynotocrack.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2007%2F04%2Fbacon-briefcase.jpg&hash=d95d8ed38238e5888b29779426e8b8fd)
Gesundheit!
-
I prefer a meatier case to keep my documents in.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.foundshit.com%2Fimages%2Fbacon-briefcase.jpg&hash=1450c7f4c1dd12369b7db8e1afbf7230)
I see you're bac on line again Demo.
-
I saw a case like that in a pawn shop, somebody must have had to put in hock for a few shillings.
Wanting to know who had to chop it in, I decided to steak out the pawn shop.
-
I saw a case like that in a pawn shop, somebody must have had to put in hock for a few shillings.
Wanting to know who had to chop it in, I decided to steak out the pawn shop.
Do you have a beef with the pawn shop? They're just middlemen -- not the ribs of the deal.
Steaking out the pawn shop could just prove to be a lot of bull.
-
I see you're bac on line again Demo.
Thanks, Don_1, with beac ons of light such as yourself, Don_1, and "daveshorts" of NSF -- I no longer send smoke signals to my friends at NSF😊
-
I see you're bac on line again Demo.
Thanks, Don_1, with beac ons of light such as yourself, Don_1, and "daveshorts" of NSF -- I no longer send smoke signals to my friends at NSF😊
Unsmoked bacon for you now, is it?
-
Steaking out the pawn shop could just prove to be a lot of bull.
It did saddle me with a whole load of trouble. I had to trott eround the corner to answer the call of nature. A police officer pulled me up and asked "Hoof you just pee'd up the wall?"
"Yes" I admitted, "but cher have to go when yer have to go."
-
I see you're bac on line again Demo.
Thanks, Don_1, with beac ons of light such as yourself, Don_1, and "daveshorts" of NSF -- I no longer send smoke signals to my friends at NSF😊
Unsmoked bacon for you now, is it?
Steaking out the pawn shop could just prove to be a lot of bull.
It did saddle me with a whole load of trouble. I had to trott eround the corner to answer the call of nature. A police officer pulled me up and asked "Hoof you just pee'd up the wall?"
"Yes" I admitted, "but cher have to go when yer have to go."
_TWO_ BUTCHER AWARDS FOR DON_1!!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.martindivillybutchers.com%2Fimages%2F1996Resize_big.png&hash=71579d76abaf20058602036c804238b7)
-
January, 2015 is:
Book Blitz Month
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F36tee5.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F01%2FJanuaryMonths_Book-Blitz-Month1.png&hash=2081233842910628cc28cee2126144dd)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2488585E-D4C5-4E1C-BB77-5E9A1ABC20BD.jpg&hash=f17d00393c4ceccf3b8247a49e7c4b0e)
http://www.prettyopinionated.com/2015/01/book-blitz-month-fun/
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Today is Thomas Crapper Day.
Celebrations will include having a wee dram, playing the pan pipes, recitals from Richard 3rd and playing poker, in the hope of getting a Royal Flush.
I shall be playing the sneezing game with a friend. We have toIlet each other do ah tissue in turn.
When its my turn he must keep quite and when its is tern I have to keep quite.
You really don't want to know how pooh bear celebrates.
-
Today is Thomas Crapper Day.
Celebrations will include having a wee dram, playing the pan pipes, recitals from Richard 3rd and playing poker, in the hope of getting a Royal Flush.
I shall be playing the sneezing game with a friend. We have toIlet each other do ah tissue in turn.
When its my turn he must keep quite and when its is tern I have to keep quite.
You really don't want to know how pooh bear celebrates.
After the lawyer flushed the toilet, it went to the suer.
-
Today is Thomas Crapper Day.
Celebrations will include...playing poker, in the hope of getting a Royal Flush.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pmslweb.com%2Fthe-blog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F10%2F32-royal-flush-funny.jpg&hash=a67bc7754a47f232b844235ae0e57b0b)
-
Today is Thomas Crapper Day.
Celebrations will include...playing poker, in the hope of getting a Royal Flush.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pmslweb.com%2Fthe-blog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F10%2F32-royal-flush-funny.jpg&hash=a67bc7754a47f232b844235ae0e57b0b)
Wow!!!
What a royal flush!
In that loo, your clasp ades your isotomic lubrication of what might otherwise be dire Monday noises you
might hear too loudly.
Lets just hope nothing snaps off! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-shocked003.gif&hash=ab88d8daaff00fc7b9d2bfb34c3df492) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
-
Today, the 29th of January, is
Curmudgeons Day.
Its about time my celebratory day came around. Everybody has this day and that to celebrate one thing or another, all I get is Curmudgeons Day. But what get's my goat is that its in the depths of winter! How can I get out and about to erm, well, Curmudge in these temperatures. You'd think that Curmudgeons Day would at least be on a day when you can get out and Curmudge in relative comfort, not freezing your 'bits' off. I don't want to go out Curmudging only to get home to curse mudge on my shoes that needs cleaning off. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1106.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh368%2Fblueskool9%2FDSP%2520GIFs%2Fgrumpyoldman_zps5ae79de4.gif&hash=b5570941388d3ed37f3bcc1121546471)
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Today, the 29th of January, is
Curmudgeons Day.
What do you call it when a bad-tempered old baker goes bankrupt?
A curmudgeonly crumble.
-
Today is Thomas Crapper Day.
Celebrations will include...playing poker, in the hope of getting a Royal Flush.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pmslweb.com%2Fthe-blog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F10%2F32-royal-flush-funny.jpg&hash=a67bc7754a47f232b844235ae0e57b0b)
Wow!!!
What a royal flush!
In that loo, your clasp ades your isotomic lubrication of what might otherwise be dire Monday noises you
might hear too loudly.
Lets just hope nothing snaps off! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-shocked003.gif&hash=ab88d8daaff00fc7b9d2bfb34c3df492) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2FRoyalty-Free-RF-Clipart-Illustration-Of-A-Club-Royal-Flush-On-Green-1024231891.jpg&hash=8c5ed6ef5e2155f1a7122c1a86f41f82)
I warned you: be careful when using (exploring!) The Royal Club latrine -- with its 4 jagged edges!.
As you can plainly see, there's a warning:
CLIP 'ER OFF!!
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I warned you: be careful when using (exploring!) The Royal Club latrine -- with its 4 jagged edges!.
As you can plainly see, there's a warning:
When you've got to go, you've got to go, and I had drunk an awful lot of fruit deuce!
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Whatever you're drinking make sure you eat enough espresso coffee beans to counter any deleterious effect!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthumb7.shutterstock.com%2Fdisplay_pic_with_logo%2F264949%2F264949%2C1252353682%2C25%2Fstock-photo-poker-club-36668920.jpg&hash=b9a292cc173af915979160d5681ede6c)
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Is this what they mean by a
[ Invalid Attachment ]
Club sandwich?
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Tomorrow is Backwards Day, so should we celebrate it today?
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Tomorrow is Backwards Day, so should we celebrate it today?
'Pun' backwards is nup. And a nup is a nup is a nup.
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Is this what they mean by a
[ Invalid Attachment ]
Club sandwich?
Your club sandwich is MUCH better than hers!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffreshtildeathtv.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F09%2Fmouse-in-sandwich-mom.jpg&hash=f5057ff3fdc8f85a92ccb62850d9dffd)
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I propose we all toast the club sandwich.
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Its International Darwin Day today.
Yes, celebrating the great man himself, Charles Robert Darwin, born 12th Feb 1809 in Shrewsbury, Shropshire, England.
On 27th Dec 1831, he set sail on HMS Beagle. A voyage that would result in the greatest change to our understanding of life on Earth for ever after. On the 24th Nov 1859 he published his book "On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life."
Many flinched at what he had written, but he taught us how evolution works. Today we might think of it as a gal app a'cos of its blunt contradiction of previous beliefs, but we now know that Charles was dar winner in the end.
Ig wanna just say a big 'thank you' to Darwin. When it comes to picking a book to learn about life, his is the natural selection.
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When it comes to picking a book to learn about life, [Darwin's] is the natural selection.
Since you know that I'm a sharp musician, Don_1...well, its just not natural to be that way, is it?
Am I flat out wrong?
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I propose we all toast the club sandwich.
(https://c2.staticflickr.com/4/3352/3510739797_bb2df83084.jpg)
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Today, the 29th of January, is
Curmudgeons Day.
Its about time my celebratory day came around. Everybody has this day and that to celebrate one thing or another, all I get is Curmudgeons Day. But what get's my goat is that its in the depths of winter! How can I get out and about to erm, well, Curmudge in these temperatures. You'd think that Curmudgeons Day would at least be on a day when you can get out and Curmudge in relative comfort, not freezing your 'bits' off. I don't want to go out Curmudging only to get home to curse mudge on my shoes that needs cleaning off. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1106.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh368%2Fblueskool9%2FDSP%2520GIFs%2Fgrumpyoldman_zps5ae79de4.gif&hash=b5570941388d3ed37f3bcc1121546471)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA6CECE13-1A80-433B-AC8D-D5A7376B23A5.jpg&hash=0747d971f943f261e915a3a62bdea1d6)
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I propose we all toast the club sandwich.
And for you and Mrs. Don_1: belated Valentine's Day toast!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.netanimations.net%2Fbubbly-champagne-toast.gif&hash=2b016cd85a5605b5431ba34a89331582)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA6CECE13-1A80-433B-AC8D-D5A7376B23A5.jpg&hash=0747d971f943f261e915a3a62bdea1d6)
I'd like one or two of those.
(https://blacknightblues.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/jacob-von-hogflume-blue-plaque.jpg?w=279&h=300)
You can add this as one of a few to your collection.
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Found a kangaroo. It had a broken leg...so I took it to the hopital.
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(https://blacknightblues.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/jacob-von-hogflume-blue-plaque.jpg?w=279&h=300)
You can add this as one of a few to your collection.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2C766F5E-913F-4B12-AA4C-C7E7CB0AB27B.gif&hash=0cf06e1b076a9d35dd6b116e3524bb40)
Future door for my collection. Thank you!
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I think that's adoorable.
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Just one point, why did he open the door, then walk away?
Oi you! Come back and shut the door. Were you born in a barn or something like that?
-
If a door remains unused, is it doormant?
-
In Spanish, would the way into paradise be Eldoorado?
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I took the bedroom door off its hinges and laid it on the bed. The wife thought it was some new type of eidoordown.
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I showed this to the Mrs.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.motorhoming.com%2Fimages%2Fstories%2FHymer_S-Class_Mercedes.jpg&hash=fb54110885ff55310ebe606cff865c48)
"Where did you get that from?" She enquired
I told her I had borrowed it from Bert.
"You couldn't have," she said, "Bert is off touring in his camper at the moment, as you should well know."
"Well," I retorted, "I'm sure I borrowed it from Bert, or was it Harry?"
"Harry has a Volkswagen." She said "This is a Hymer."
"Hmmm, then who did I borrow it from?" I quizzed.
The wife said "You must have borrowed it from Alan."
I said, "You mean........"
"Yes," she replied, "you've got Al's Hymer."
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What I need is a pomegranate, its a pun I can eat.
-
I shall, of course, consume it in a most gentlemanly fashion. Unfortunately this fruit tends to give me the wind. Therefore I shall probably be known as a very pun gent.
EDIT
My apologies for leaving out the odd few punctuation marks here. I have now remedied this.
-
With flatulence and punctuation in mind, I think it time I was better able to control my use of the colon.
-
Best food I've found for flatulence is Jerusalem artichoke, nicknamed Jerusalem fartichoke. The person eating gets the first syllable and anyone within breathing distance gets the next two.
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This thread has gone a bit quiet so I will try and give it a second wind
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This thread has gone a bit quiet so I will try and give it a second wind
The first wind was a breeze!!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FAFC2DBD4-3D48-4D34-8890-63A2FD3C5406.gif&hash=540cd19ea5ab9f5b4eb77de85b5fe935)
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lol...lol....remind me to always stay down wind of you Project Sailor and Demo.....! Seems you two may be in co
htoots with one another.......,?
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It is said the simplest form of humor is a pun.. and that the simplest elements are gaseous..
This leads me to the simplest elements of humor are fart puns!
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It is said the simplest form of humor is a pun.. and that the simplest elements are gaseous..
This leads me to the simplest elements of humor are fart puns!
...So more of a gassy arse then.
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This thread has gone a bit quiet so I will try and give it a second wind
The first wind was a breeze!!!
[ Invalid Attachment ]
Its torn a do!
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This thread has gone a bit quiet so I will try and give it a second wind
The first wind was a breeze!!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FAFC2DBD4-3D48-4D34-8890-63A2FD3C5406.gif&hash=540cd19ea5ab9f5b4eb77de85b5fe935)
Is that the famous German, Herr Stylist?
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It is said the simplest form of humor is a pun.. and that the simplest elements are gaseous..
This leads me to the simplest elements of humor are fart puns!
...So more of a gassy arse then.
¡Graci as, Don_Uno!
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This thread has gone a bit quiet so I will try and give it a second wind
The first wind was a breeze!!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FAFC2DBD4-3D48-4D34-8890-63A2FD3C5406.gif&hash=540cd19ea5ab9f5b4eb77de85b5fe935)
Is that the famous German, Herr Stylist?
There's no shortcut to being a Herr Stylist. This one tried/failed:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F3D7AA771-4286-4990-BA91-A892BCA9597A.gif&hash=2872293ccaf5f0f52a328ef8e6d1c391)
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I went to the barber for a herr cat. He was hard of hearing, so I bald at him, 'No 2, all over please.'
When Yul Brynner went to the barber, it took him a long time to twig who it was, but eventually he unlocked the truth.
After spending some time in the loo, I had to claim I had been doing a No 2, though I hadn't. The barber saw through my story and said it was a sham poo.
Oh comb comb now, those puns weren't so bad as to be brushed aside.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA65DD24F-136D-483F-92C9-85704757C524.jpg&hash=248047476ef3711be72b19f1b124a2dd)
Is there an instruction manual? Where do I put these medals????
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I went to the barber for a herr cat. He was hard of hearing, so I bald at him, 'No 2, all over please.'
When Yul Brynner went to the barber, it took him a long time to twig who it was, but eventually he unlocked the truth.
After spending some time in the loo, I had to claim I had been doing a No 2, though I hadn't. The barber saw through my story and said it was a sham poo.
Oh comb comb now, those puns weren't so bad as to be brushed aside.
Don_1 Wins The 2015 Herr Stylist Award - Granted To Those Whith Medals To Prove!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F7AE1BE23-2412-4112-80C4-3D9CEF11F120.jpg&hash=a58b340b314103a6b6c467ac570589e1)
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Don_1 Wins The 2015 Herr Stylist Award - Granted To Those Whith Medals To Prove!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F7AE1BE23-2412-4112-80C4-3D9CEF11F120.jpg&hash=a58b340b314103a6b6c467ac570589e1)
Sorry Demo, old chap, but I felt it my duty to branch out and correct your post. I can’t help but do it, it seems to run in the family.
Just call me Herr edit tree if you will.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA65DD24F-136D-483F-92C9-85704757C524.jpg&hash=248047476ef3711be72b19f1b124a2dd)
Is there an instruction manual? Where do I put these medals????
Continuing the current German trend, I would say you should put it on the trough, so it would be Von Ribbon Trough (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joachim_von_Ribbentrop)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F7AE1BE23-2412-4112-80C4-3D9CEF11F120.jpg&hash=a58b340b314103a6b6c467ac570589e1)
…..and if you’re bald???
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA65DD24F-136D-483F-92C9-85704757C524.jpg&hash=248047476ef3711be72b19f1b124a2dd)
Is there an instruction manual? Where do I put these medals????
Continuing the current German trend, I would say you should put it on the trough, so it would be Von Ribbon Trough (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joachim_von_Ribbentrop)
I don't see this line of reasoning Göring anywhere! Nein! Schluss!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F7AE1BE23-2412-4112-80C4-3D9CEF11F120.jpg&hash=a58b340b314103a6b6c467ac570589e1)
…..and if you’re bald???
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FAB634B27-8AAF-4F46-B0CA-3DF36230FBE0.jpg&hash=c5c3454ce56ded67e5ffd30e281aaa58)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA65DD24F-136D-483F-92C9-85704757C524.jpg&hash=248047476ef3711be72b19f1b124a2dd)
Is there an instruction manual? Where do I put these medals????
Continuing the current German trend, I would say you should put it on the trough, so it would be Von Ribbon Trough (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joachim_von_Ribbentrop)
I don't see this line of reasoning Göring anywhere! Nein! Schluss!
At a party banquet, Mrs Göring made some derogatory comments about silly moustaches, (I’ll speer you the details), but all agreed it was rude of hess wife to be so outspoken.
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Albert Speer was a keen board game player and amateur horticulturalist. Near The Eagle’s Nest he laid a beautiful chequerboard lawn and pot grew red leaf and green leaf box plants which he fashioned into topiary castles, knights, bishops, queens, kings and pawns. Many were invited to play in what became known as the Albert chess garden (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berchtesgaden).
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Albert Speer was a keen board game player and amateur horticulturalist. Near The Eagle’s Nest he laid a beautiful chequerboard lawn and pot grew red leaf and green leaf box plants which he fashioned into topiary castles, knights, bishops, queens, kings and pawns. Many were invited to play in what became known as the Albert chess garden (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berchtesgaden).
Wasn't that just t' pitz (http://www.kbismarck.com/tirpitz.html)!?
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Albert Speer was a keen board game player and amateur horticulturalist. Near The Eagle’s Nest he laid a beautiful chequerboard lawn and pot grew red leaf and green leaf box plants which he fashioned into topiary castles, knights, bishops, queens, kings and pawns. Many were invited to play in what became known as the Albert chess garden (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berchtesgaden).
Beautiful garden, but one had to drive mheils and mheils of dusty, dirty back roads sieget there!
Ach!
Garden über alles!!
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My new
friend business acquaintance from The Third Reich...errr....I mean Germany just might be a stutterer.
He's constantly writing me sentences that have
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F3B5369B9-E6AB-4F7D-96EA-6075B3676AF3.jpg&hash=7afef3bca3e61b432a9cde6073c2cc17) in them.
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My new friend from The Third Reich...errr....I mean Germany just might be a stutterer.
He's constantly writing me sentences that have
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F3B5369B9-E6AB-4F7D-96EA-6075B3676AF3.jpg&hash=7afef3bca3e61b432a9cde6073c2cc17) in them.
S, s, I have seen them. Unfortunately he is suffering with a small bladder complaint at the moment. As you can guess t' po under his bed is essential.
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Don't you mean "substantial"?
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Before I act rashly, I am reminded when confronting a tough dilemma, "I should first Müller this over, sleep on it -- before re
ichacting foolishly."
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My new friend business acquaintance from The Third Reich...
Above edit to Reply #4325 --- top of page
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I went to the barber for a herr cat. He was hard of hearing, so I bald at him, 'No 2, all over please.'
When Yul Brynner went to the barber, it took him a long time to twig who it was, but eventually he unlocked the truth.
After spending some time in the loo, I had to claim I had been doing a No 2, though I hadn't. The barber saw through my story and said it was a sham poo.
Oh comb comb now, those puns weren't so bad as to be brushed aside.
Don_1 yet again wins an Award for puns that comb not be beat!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB7371567-9909-4D58-B587-A1A8A85BE160.jpg&hash=a9ec0e91b7a243e161e1b93acd143d9c)
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Last time I went to the barber, I asked him if he could do something different with my hair. He gave me a No. 2 all over (as usual) swept up the cuttings from the floor and threw them out of the window. I gave him a puzzled look. He said, "Usually I would throw it in the bin, but you wanted me to do something different with it so...."
Perhaps that'll teach me to be a little more concise.
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It was a clear, cloudless winter's day in London town, yet people in the street were getting wet. The Vicar dashed into the office block and up the stairs onto the roof. There he found one of his parishioners relieving himself over the parapet.
"What are you doing?" he screamed.
"I am doing exactly as you said." Replied the man.
"No, no," said the Vicar, "what I said was peace on all men."
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November 19th.
Today is National Blow Bagpipes Day (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.4smileys.com%2Fsmileys%2Fmusic-smileys%2Fbagpipe.gif&hash=c2c1210d02057e2744b501c34ed7f635) (http://www.4smileys.com)Coincidentally it is also National Have a Bad Day Day.(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Fangry%2Ftearing-hair.gif&hash=32643de9c94b3560dcf7ef60091995aa)
What’s more today is also Nouveau Beaujolais Day and World Toilet Day, another coincidence???
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fdrink%2Fdrinking-wine-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=8ed8660cc42209627f0f3c919845e5c5)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fbathroom-knocker.gif&hash=70d5c1afc645a278d406a7843c309d65)
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It was the Scottish Indoor Tennis Championships.
In the bar a bowl of peanuts was accidentally knocked on to the floor.
“Guve me the Hoover, Jock, I’ll clean that oop.” Said a barman.
“Och, I’m afraid the Hoover is broken Jimmy.” Replied the head barman.
“Oh dear ohh dear. If we’ve got no vac Jock, I’ll fetch the dustpan & brush then.
“Och, that’s andy, murry-up then afore they get trodden into the carpet.”
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Today is World Toilet Day
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fbathroom-knocker.gif&hash=70d5c1afc645a278d406a7843c309d65)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FE5801494-7B91-4DE5-A8D2-15D8A69616B4_1.gif&hash=0489c51b000c1916c9d32565eefc044c)
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Perhaps that'll teach him not to pick hard on the toilet roll in future.
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Did you spock the pun in my last post?
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Indeed I did, but I would have preferred, to have seen him, kick it to the kirk, rather then the drain....!
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Its tissue Jim, but not as we know it.
Now what do I do about the Klingons?
I blame the height of the pan, its just su lu.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fbathroom-knocker.gif&hash=70d5c1afc645a278d406a7843c309d65)
Are you finished in there yet???
u huru up will you PLEEEEZE
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F7CAFD407-288F-4404-B09B-41F2B65D85DF.gif&hash=e6bbf017a6e6c6fd849265c3b4890700)
From The Independent (UK):
"Thanksgiving is the latest US tradition to take root in the UK, as one in six of us celebrate 'Brits-giving'
Thanksgiving has no place in British tradition. But, never ones to pass up an excuse for a feast, more of us are gobbling turkey and pumpkin pie..."
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fbathroom-knocker.gif&hash=70d5c1afc645a278d406a7843c309d65)
Are you finished in there yet???
u huru up will you PLEEEEZE
I *am*
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F68881C74-9A4C-44F0-86BC-25F257114D7B.png&hash=3c686634123bbd004d80ffc2da1037d9)
ing!
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"Thanksgiving has no place in British tradition. "
So sayeth The Independent.
Not so, Independent. In the USA 'Thanksgiving' is celebrated on the 4th Thursday of November and in Canada on the on the 2nd Monday of October. In Britain, where it is known as 'Harvest Festival', it has been celebrated since pagan times on the occurrence of the Harvest Moon (the nearest full moon to the autumn equinox (22 or 23 September).
This celebration of the harvest is common to many countries and falls in line with their harvest time.
Saxon's, settled in Britain from around AD 43. The Anglo-Saxon farmers would offer the first sheaf of corn to the god of fertility to ensure a good crop the following year. The last sheaf (believed to contain the Spirit of the corn) was cut along with the ritual sacrifice of an animal (usually a hare) and the straw made into an effigy of the animal. This eventually gave rise to the Corn Dolly.
"Thanksgiving is the latest US tradition to take root in the UK, as one in six of us celebrate 'Brits-giving'
Hmmm, Methinks you're about 2000 yrs out and should be looking across the channel to Germany, not the Atlantic to 'The New World'.
So to keep in line with this thread's subject....
".....more of us are gobbling turkey and pumpkin pie..."
I would rather a slice of punkin pie, if you don't mind.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fbathroom-knocker.gif&hash=70d5c1afc645a278d406a7843c309d65)
Are you finished in there yet???
u huru up will you PLEEEEZE
I *am*
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F68881C74-9A4C-44F0-86BC-25F257114D7B.png&hash=3c686634123bbd004d80ffc2da1037d9)
ing!
Well, three cheers for that!
Hip hip hurry, hip hip hurry, hip hip.... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fpissing.gif&hash=b441f8555c1b7bb409215e61ef9d0b2c) too late!
-
"Thanksgiving has no place in British tradition. "
So sayeth The Independent.
Not so, Independent. In the USA 'Thanksgiving' is celebrated on the 4th Thursday of November and in Canada on the on the 2nd Monday of October. In Britain, where it is known as 'Harvest Festival', it has been celebrated since pagan times on the occurrence of the Harvest Moon (the nearest full moon to the autumn equinox (22 or 23 September).
This celebration of the harvest is common to many countries and falls in line with their harvest time.
Saxon's, settled in Britain from around AD 43. The Anglo-Saxon farmers would offer the first sheaf of corn to the god of fertility to ensure a good crop the following year. The last sheaf (believed to contain the Spirit of the corn) was cut along with the ritual sacrifice of an animal (usually a hare) and the straw made into an effigy of the animal. This eventually gave rise to the Corn Dolly.
"Thanksgiving is the latest US tradition to take root in the UK, as one in six of us celebrate 'Brits-giving'
Hmmm, Methinks you're about 2000 yrs out and should be looking across the channel to Germany, not the Atlantic to 'The New World'.
So to keep in line with this thread's subject....
".....more of us are gobbling turkey and pumpkin pie..."
I would rather a slice of punkin pie, if you don't mind.
I stand cornected !
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F717C57FC-7826-4685-BB0F-9ABCC76C30C6.jpg&hash=41324e9c798a111ad5c87b823ee36008)
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The ater of cold meats.
Pardon my bad grammar** that should be 'eater'.
** That's Grammar in the bottom right hand of the picture, or is it Grandpa?
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I stand cornected !
corn u copia with all these corrections?
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I stand cornected !
corn u copia with all these corrections?
How do I cope with change?
I put it in the parking meter.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fbathroom-knocker.gif&hash=70d5c1afc645a278d406a7843c309d65)
Are you finished in there yet???
u huru up will you PLEEEEZE
I *am*
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F68881C74-9A4C-44F0-86BC-25F257114D7B.png&hash=3c686634123bbd004d80ffc2da1037d9)
ing!
Well, three cheers for that!
Hip hip hurry, hip hip hurry, hip hip.... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fpissing.gif&hash=b441f8555c1b7bb409215e61ef9d0b2c) too late!
I guess that was The Last Hurrah!
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Did you spock the pun in my last post?
Indeed I did, but I would have preferred, to have seen him, kick it to the kirk, rather then the drain....!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.animateit.net%2Fdata%2Fmedia%2Fjune2010%2Favatar_4437.gif&hash=db25974c0b30eaa7145f521d0b654bed)
Good one, Karen!
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I went to the barber for a herr cat. He was hard tired of hear herring...
Sorry, Don_1, old chap, but one good turn edit deserves another...
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A graphic clarification, if I am permitted...
It was a clear, cloudless winter's day in London town, yet people in the street were getting wet. The Vicar dashed into the office block and up the stairs onto the roof. There he found one of his parishioners relieving himself over the parapet.
"What are you doing?" he screamed.
"I am doing exactly as you said." Replied the man.
"No, no," said the Vicar, "what I said was peace on all men."
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fpissing.gif&hash=b441f8555c1b7bb409215e61ef9d0b2c)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F63A10836-B6B7-4AFC-BD9B-79CD2F5DC232.gif&hash=54b086c87e3db153f42a63e6b4a00a51)
edit: add-on gif
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...... one good 'ed 'it deserves another...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-violent080.gif&hash=5ea78454db683de255776a493790195f) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) That's what I call good 'ed 'itting.
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I guess that was The Last Hurrah!
🎼Hurrah you with last night,
Under the pale moonlight.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.animateit.net%2Fdata%2Fmedia%2Fjune2010%2Favatar_4437.gif&hash=db25974c0b30eaa7145f521d0b654bed)
Look's like you've been sold a pup.
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Look's like you've been sold a pup.
soda pop?
Yes, it's sodalicious!
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...... one good 'ed 'it deserves another...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-violent080.gif&hash=5ea78454db683de255776a493790195f) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) That's what I call good 'ed 'itting.
Did you hear about the guy who got 'it in the 'ed with a can of soda?
He was lucky it was a soft drink.
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I guess that was The Last Hurrah!
🎼Hurrah you with last night,
Under the pale moonlight.
🎼When Johnny comes marching home again, hurrah, hurrah...
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Look's like you've been sold a pup.
soda pop?
Yes, it's sodalicious!
So da gloves are off are they?
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🎼When Johnny comes marching home again, hurrah, hurrah...
Would an equivalent British lyric be
🎼When Tommy comes marching home again huzzah huzzah
???
What song might this be?
[diagram=762_0]
Yankee Doodle.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB2C32776-FDFC-456C-8CE6-0ED70D584421.png.jpeg&hash=8f1f41574243feb899f48b31162ce074)
Is this what you meant?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F50F441AA-7191-433B-BECD-CB1CF3FE94FB.jpg&hash=b25ce7f8534f40cb0381a9f46668b4b2)
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Look's like you've been sold a pup.
soda pop?
Yes, it's sodalicious!
So da gloves are off are they?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FBE6EAFBE-8528-414C-8756-C7D50F6A49EB.gif&hash=b329848f6da6a592838e29f970e9e195)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FBE6EAFBE-8528-414C-8756-C7D50F6A49EB.gif&hash=b329848f6da6a592838e29f970e9e195)
Two of them seem to be able to talk 'hands free'. With somewhat more modestly covered bosoms, which did not cause distraction for the judges, they received their MENSA scores' on time, but the one in the middle seems to have had hers delayed. One can only say that due to her chest, IQ late.
I think she just washed her hands and is trying to flick the water off and scored a direct hit in the other blonde's eye.
I've been sitting here watching her for 10 minutes now waiting for something to pop out, but no such luck, so I suppose you can't knock her sense of dress.
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Today is National Cookie day.
Doesn't that just take the biscuit.
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...they received their MENSA scores' on time...
Undoubtedly due to their MENSAtration period.
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Today is National Cookie day.
Doesn't that just take the biscuit.
If a dog biscuit, please use collie flour.
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Today is National Cookie day.
Doesn't that just take the biscuit.
If a dog biscuit, please use collie flour.
Would you feed these to all the lads & Lassies?
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...they received their MENSA scores' on time...
Undoubtedly due to their MENSAtration period.
WHOA! Steady on there Demo, I would strongly advise you not to tamper on this subject for fear of a feminist backlash such as:
"MEN! Oh pause your sexist comments."
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...they received their MENSA scores' on time...
Undoubtedly due to their MENSAtration period.
WHOA! Steady on there Demo, I would strongly advise you not to tamper on this subject for fear of a feminist backlash such as:
"MEN! Oh pause your sexist comments."
Yes, I agree.
The femmes insist on it.
Thank you for the heads up, my pauseture will be different from this moment on!
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pauseture
Speaking of pauseture, if a dog made a ceramic model of the famous tower in Pisa, might it be known as paws a lean?
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Only to the females. The males are more likely to call it the leaning tower of pees...ahh.
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Only to the females. The males are more likely to call it the leaning tower of pees...ahh.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F3FB4181A-0CAA-42C1-9373-2E360F15497C.jpg&hash=1d2f8b014b081230663027822e316711)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fpissing.gif&hash=b441f8555c1b7bb409215e61ef9d0b2c)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fpissing.gif&hash=b441f8555c1b7bb409215e61ef9d0b2c)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fpissing.gif&hash=b441f8555c1b7bb409215e61ef9d0b2c)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fpissing.gif&hash=b441f8555c1b7bb409215e61ef9d0b2c)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fpissing.gif&hash=b441f8555c1b7bb409215e61ef9d0b2c)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fpissing.gif&hash=b441f8555c1b7bb409215e61ef9d0b2c)
pees borrowed without Don_1's permission
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Wow, she's strong!
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Only to the females. The males are more likely to call it the leaning tower of pees...ahh.
[ Invalid Attachment ]
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Wow, she's strong!
Yes, I can smell her from here.
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Wow, she's strong!
I'm strong, too.
See my finger directly below:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F22B00E85-4AC9-4A3C-B8BF-042E67D3D4D8_2.jpg&hash=4d22669cea193783bf26151ac5ce6521)
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Wow, she's strong!
I'm strong, too.
See my finger directly below:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F22B00E85-4AC9-4A3C-B8BF-042E67D3D4D8_2.jpg&hash=4d22669cea193783bf26151ac5ce6521)
I'm sure I've seen that appendage before somewhere, but where? I just cant put my finger on it.
If I knuckle down and keep thinking on it, I'm sure to nail it sooner or later.
I don't want to palm you off with a guess.
You know how you sometimes know something, but it just wont come to mind, so its on your mind for the wrist of the day.
Come on, help me out here, throw me a lifeline somebody please.
-
Dec was standing under a lamp post on the corner of 42nd and Lexington. There was a loud screech of brakes. A car pals up and a voice from the back seat says, "Get in decs. 'That voice rings a bell.' Dec thought. He recognised it from his days in the army.
"I never bow down to anyone." Dec said.
"So I heard." Said the voice from the back of the car.
Then another voice, backed up with a hand gun said "'El bow to you Boss."
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Wow, she's strong!
I'm strong, too.
See my finger directly below:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F22B00E85-4AC9-4A3C-B8BF-042E67D3D4D8_2.jpg&hash=4d22669cea193783bf26151ac5ce6521)
I'm sure I've seen that appendage before somewhere, but where? I just cant put my finger on it.
If I knuckle down and keep thinking on it, I'm sure to nail it sooner or later...
You certainly
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FBE947A75-556E-4573-A4DD-F4B233EA2E73_3.jpg&hash=af752a5ceb406eadaddc0d95b523efd8)
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Come on, help me out here, throw me a lifeline somebody please.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F6C104D44-2DB7-48ED-9787-6621454D2357.gif&hash=15b95cbea440c4afd42c8b6593069daa)
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Wow, she's strong!
Yes, I can smell her from here.
Does she smell like the ocean?
Maybe something fishy is up!
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Come on, help me out here, throw me a lifeline somebody please.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F6C104D44-2DB7-48ED-9787-6621454D2357.gif&hash=15b95cbea440c4afd42c8b6593069daa)
Oh buoy!
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Wow, she's strong!
Yes, I can smell her from here.
Does she smell like the ocean?
Maybe something fishy is up!
"Ha Doc, tell me now, and don't skate around the issue, what do I smell of?"
"Och aye now ma sweet bonny lass, ya dinna smell like some ol' trout, if that's what you're thinking."
"What d' ya mean by that Doc?"
"Och ta puss it another way, lassie, you smell like a ray of sunshine to me."
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Wow, she's strong!
Yes, I can smell her from here.
Does she smell like the ocean?
Maybe something fishy is up!
"Ha Doc, tell me now, and don't skate around the issue, what do I smell of?"
"Och aye now ma sweet bonny lass, ya dinna smell like some ol' trout, if that's what you're thinking."
"What d' ya mean by that Doc?"
"Och ta puss it another way, lassie, you smell like a ray of sunshine to me."
"I smelt it Doc. Let's not have a roe over it."
"Why are your hands so clammy?"
"Oy, don't staere at me like that!"
"Oh, ok, go ahead and report me, lassie, I don't really give a crab!"
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"Oh, ok, go ahead and report me, lassie, I don't really give a crab!"
You may be having a whale of a time with your razor sharp wit and your cwrasse comments, but Sea you Lassie, you'll no want ta be making anemone of me. So stop this clowning around, pay your bill, which is sick squid, and be away with you now.
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"Oh, ok, go ahead and report me, lassie, I don't really give a crab!"
You may be having a whale of a time...
No I'm not...for what porpoise?
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2A7A3411-3831-4877-9E3D-06FB595E0FF3_9.gif&hash=54f3126b5d8b047d3bf8ac294675461a)
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"Oh, ok, go ahead and report me, lassie, I don't really give a crab!"
You may be having a whale of a time...
No I'm not...for what porpoise?
Maybe it is just because you are a Man at ees with your lot and cuttle the fish into goujons rather than flounder with the gutting knife and sea horsemeat on the table, rather than les fruits de mare.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2A7A3411-3831-4877-9E3D-06FB595E0FF3_9.gif&hash=54f3126b5d8b047d3bf8ac294675461a)
I have a poorpoise, my poise is always empty!
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...cuttle the fish into goujons...
Hmmmmm. Seems more like chicken
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F22B00E85-4AC9-4A3C-B8BF-042E67D3D4D8_2.jpg&hash=4d22669cea193783bf26151ac5ce6521)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F22B00E85-4AC9-4A3C-B8BF-042E67D3D4D8_2.jpg&hash=4d22669cea193783bf26151ac5ce6521)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F22B00E85-4AC9-4A3C-B8BF-042E67D3D4D8_2.jpg&hash=4d22669cea193783bf26151ac5ce6521)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F22B00E85-4AC9-4A3C-B8BF-042E67D3D4D8_2.jpg&hash=4d22669cea193783bf26151ac5ce6521)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F22B00E85-4AC9-4A3C-B8BF-042E67D3D4D8_2.jpg&hash=4d22669cea193783bf26151ac5ce6521)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F22B00E85-4AC9-4A3C-B8BF-042E67D3D4D8_2.jpg&hash=4d22669cea193783bf26151ac5ce6521)
fingers
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FE4AF4BAB-A88D-4EFF-8CE1-D9C8481D64C0.gif&hash=a2ae1ea37dfb18cc93be82183a4fbcbe)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F4AB96207-710E-4B76-B355-9DC9A7734DE4.gif&hash=dc01d44c5b4737471d7bd967f5269633)
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Does this mean yule be spending Xmas in a log cabin Demo?
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I see the sea is low, it must be the Yule tide.
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(https://smileyshack.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/sxmas_sign_merrychristmas_100-101.gif?w=150&h=49)
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(https://smileyshack.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/sxmas_sign_merrychristmas_100-101.gif?w=150&h=49)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F91A3CEFC-AA5A-40C0-A4C0-DD6774C3D8FC.gif&hash=0f4fc920e1b21b7d5162624ad2685878)
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Does this mean yule be spending Xmas in a log cabin Demo?
No, Don_1, I'll just be logging in to this punning thread!
Isn't that logical?
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Does this mean yule be spending Xmas in a log cabin Demo?
I see the sea is low, it must be the Yule tide.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F6E40A20E-42F8-451E-8369-778FA5522D48.jpg&hash=46321c9a204ca11397d98a43fb2128de)
Yes...Yule be surprised to hear: Don_1 racks up yet another Award!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F71C65480-404B-4BF7-BD5F-5528DB7A7BDB.gif&hash=d7082cad262535b16ad628587ace3cec)
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Yule ball* me over with your giffs one day.
Don't over-do the puns here, Demo, or I can see accusations that you hog manay posts.
*Harry Potter pun.
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Yule ball* me over with your giffs one day.
Don't over-do the puns here, Demo, or I can see accusations that you hog manay posts.
*Harry Potter pun.
Oh, stop with the possible accusations, Don_1!
Why won't you just let me enjoy edin my burgher and drinking my soda???
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F68AFE7EB-780D-4FB6-886C-14F4B069F145_1.jpg&hash=625fa54fd0da5375af2039bea64f4af0)<<<<<<<demo's hair circa 1965
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...I can see accusations that you hog manay posts.
Plural nounsense!!
Where's your proof?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F267E325C-7E33-4651-ABD4-1A45C98603C5.jpg&hash=4154b4f53b53d38e807fb61acfd1edc4)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA6F27FD0-E94B-487E-8751-EA277611E4E3.jpg&hash=8f903c1f904a6715e3e6d93ca3e41000)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F9A8BC0E0-595D-4B60-B762-80A7DB2BD3F4.jpg&hash=584903f69680bbfdf441ee5c9d394265)
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Where's your proof?
Proof! Proof?
You ask me for proof, what do you think I am? A proofessor?
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Why won't you just let me enjoy edin my burgher and drinking my soda???
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F68AFE7EB-780D-4FB6-886C-14F4B069F145_1.jpg&hash=625fa54fd0da5375af2039bea64f4af0)
The last time I left you to your own devices with a take-away, I found you with some Peruvian of questionable character named Edna Bucket.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freakingnews.com%2Fpictures%2F81000%2FKFC-Hat--81090.jpg&hash=465bee57a100cdea784038fa6d95d50a)
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Why won't you just let me enjoy edin my burgher and drinking my soda???
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F68AFE7EB-780D-4FB6-886C-14F4B069F145_1.jpg&hash=625fa54fd0da5375af2039bea64f4af0)
The last time I left you to your own devices with a take-away, I found you with some Peruvian of questionable character named Edna Bucket.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freakingnews.com%2Fpictures%2F81000%2FKFC-Hat--81090.jpg&hash=465bee57a100cdea784038fa6d95d50a)
Questionable character!!!???! Grrrrr!
Ok then! I'll Machu Picchu for picture then!
Winner takes all!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0413840D-D57C-47E9-BACD-01B34E2BE716.jpg&hash=da6fd8c18b5d91d112b8fe0c18e055fd)
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Looks like that Mount has been Snowd on
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bbc.co.uk%2Fstaticarchive%2F1e3e45f793187e58938e28d878d8919d69e74fee.jpg&hash=dd6b174f6a1934595c1ff9492fa0047e)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.newpig.com%2Fwcsstore%2FNewPigUSCatalogAssetStore%2FAttachment%2Fimages%2FprdImgs_large%2FSGN1012_W1_L.jpg&hash=3edcddbc59b283a37a89f3ec0256aee1)
Mount Signeye?
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.newpig.com%2Fwcsstore%2FNewPigUSCatalogAssetStore%2FAttachment%2Fimages%2FprdImgs_large%2FSGN1012_W1_L.jpg&hash=3edcddbc59b283a37a89f3ec0256aee1)
Mount Signeye?
Eye am not sure if that sEYEne is correct.
-
When Hollywood heart-throb Burt Lancaster said he wanted to climb the highest peak in the Rockies, Spencer Tracy said to him, " 'Ell bert its a long way to the top."
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.newpig.com%2Fwcsstore%2FNewPigUSCatalogAssetStore%2FAttachment%2Fimages%2FprdImgs_large%2FSGN1012_W1_L.jpg&hash=3edcddbc59b283a37a89f3ec0256aee1)
Mount Signeye?
Eye am not sure if that sEYEne is correct.
Oh I'm sure it must be, after all it is heye visibility.
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Looks like that Mount has been Snowd on
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bbc.co.uk%2Fstaticarchive%2F1e3e45f793187e58938e28d878d8919d69e74fee.jpg&hash=dd6b174f6a1934595c1ff9492fa0047e)
When Hollywood heart-throb Burt Lancaster said he wanted to climb the highest peak in the Rockies, Spencer Tracy said to him, " 'Ell bert its a long way to the top."
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC4CA4027-2F63-4FCF-8C38-47735A380994_1.jpg&hash=ce548ba870944532920067bf3a554489)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.newpig.com%2Fwcsstore%2FNewPigUSCatalogAssetStore%2FAttachment%2Fimages%2FprdImgs_large%2FSGN1012_W1_L.jpg&hash=3edcddbc59b283a37a89f3ec0256aee1)
Mount Signeye?
Eye am not sure if that sEYEne is correct.
Oh I'm sure it must be, after all it is heye visibility.
Are you on the [eye] level?
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EYE am posting this for Donnah!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC0676B07-B7C4-42B5-ACDF-4EF31FEAF4CC.gif&hash=7e4363e4a20f0a143614c711178a8c4e)
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EYE am posting this for Donnah!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC0676B07-B7C4-42B5-ACDF-4EF31FEAF4CC.gif&hash=7e4363e4a20f0a143614c711178a8c4e)
How thoughtful of you, Demo. Allow me to second you:-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.driving-test-success.com%2Fdriving-articles%2Fcats-eyes.jpg&hash=4a779b2af97d820b71083bc948bf3512)
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC4CA4027-2F63-4FCF-8C38-47735A380994_1.jpg&hash=ce548ba870944532920067bf3a554489)
[ Invalid Attachment ]
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[ Invalid Attachment ]
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Don_1: "I really hope that someone is mountain a search party.
Searchers are now mounting one.
Again!
Those men never take a rest!
-
Searchers are now mounting one.
Those men never take a rest!
OK Men, Ural here to search for some lost and injured mountaineers. One has hurt his andes and wristies, the other has a broken pair of knees. Make sure you have some US currency with you as there is a café between the two peaks where a dollar mite come in handy for a cup of hot soup & a roll, but don't gorge yourself.
Keep yourselves warm. We don't want you to get a cramp on.
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA80B2795-FA72-4472-B4B3-974067D92B4A.gif&hash=cc294add14bfdfc9e08fabe87df3a69c)
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Keep yourselves warm. We don't want you to get a cramp on.
Snow what if we get a cramp on?
It's really not a big deal, Don_1.
Do you get my drift?
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[ Invalid Attachment ]
Take my hand,
I'm a strange looking parasite
All lost in a leeching land
A strange looking parasite
If I stand hosting eyed,
That's a danger for parasites
Exploiters who stand beside
An angel like us
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Searchers are now mounting one.
Those men never take a rest!
OK Men, Ural here to search for some lost and injured mountaineers. One has hurt his andes and wristies, the other has a broken pair of knees. Make sure you have some US currency with you as there is a café between the two peaks where a dollar mite come in handy for a cup of hot soup & a roll, but don't gorge yourself.
Keep yourselves warm. We don't want you to get a cramp on.
The sporting goods store owner wanted to stop a robbery from mounting but he didn't have a gun -- only a store merchandise item of bow & arrow -- so he pierced the robber as he was fleeing with an arrow in his back.
It just goes to show you, that you can Kill ai man with just an arrow.
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Snow what if we get a cramp on?
It's really not a big deal, Don_1.
Do you get my drift?
I certainly do get your drift and accordingly invite you to have a lunch on me.
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The sporting goods store owner wanted to stop a robbery from mounting but he didn't have a gun -- only a store merchandise item of bow & arrow -- so he pierced the robber as he was fleeing with an arrow in his back.
It just goes to show you, that you can Kill ai man with just an arrow.
Demografx wins this month's contrived pun award and receives this engraved glassy 'ere.
[ Invalid Attachment ]
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Phew, gee, What an award.
-
Demografx wins this month's contrived pun award and receives this engraved glassy 'ere.
[ Invalid Attachment ]
I ce-e
I'll skip the thank you speech this time around.
-
The State of Mo
untana has had Rainier weather this January.
-
January, 2016 is:
Learn to Ski and Snowboard Month
http://www.skiandsnowboardmonth.org
which perfectly augments the mountains of information we have gleaned from only snow-snow sources.
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For Donnah, maybe her cat Odyn will like this. But it'snow problem if they don't:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FD15716F8-7A52-4C53-B4A7-C1B7B18DA655.gif&hash=ff937fb8fd1dd435e3af9ad1e60e2046)
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Oh! lymping behind USA are we?
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The State of Mountana has had Rainier weather this January.
Was it not in this very state that the indigenous Indian population took umbrage with the railroad wanting to plough through their hunting lands and led to court action in which they tried to souix the NPR.
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For Donnah, maybe her cat Odyn will like this. But it'snow problem if they don't:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FD15716F8-7A52-4C53-B4A7-C1B7B18DA655.gif&hash=ff937fb8fd1dd435e3af9ad1e60e2046)
I wouldn't mind betting that Odyn rather than playing out in the snow is flaked out on a cosy warm cushion.
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Oh! lymping behind USA are we?
Ah! I get the picture...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.olympus.co.uk%2Fsite%2Frmt%2Fmedia%2Fspecialpages%2Fsp_camera%2Fsp_camera_om_d_e_m1%2Fsp_camera_om_d_e_m1_img%2Fsp_camera_om_d_e_m1_img_features%2Fsp_camera_om_d_e_m1_features_dustproof_splashproof.jpg&hash=0e4cab4dab1a43beafe914e1561da838)
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Oh! lymping behind USA are we?
Ah! I get the picture...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.olympus.co.uk%2Fsite%2Frmt%2Fmedia%2Fspecialpages%2Fsp_camera%2Fsp_camera_om_d_e_m1%2Fsp_camera_om_d_e_m1_img%2Fsp_camera_om_d_e_m1_img_features%2Fsp_camera_om_d_e_m1_features_dustproof_splashproof.jpg&hash=0e4cab4dab1a43beafe914e1561da838)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FEF6A81C7-471A-4C7A-9300-934D4C9770F3.gif&hash=61029f217ea3ca92202bc8e874501dc4)
After this TV show, she was waiting for her photos to be developed, so she sang 'Some day my prints will come'
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The State of Mountana has had Rainier weather this January.
Was it not in this very state that the indigenous Indian population took umbrage with the railroad wanting to plough through their hunting lands and led to court action in which they tried to souix the NPR.
No PRoblem, but I personally believe that my ancestor Sue Demografx, wasn't involved in any way.
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No PRoblem, but I personally believe that my ancestor Sue Demografx, wasn't involved in any way.
But can you be sure she was genuinely your ancestor and not just a pseudo ancestor? Of course chey Anne is a different matter altogether.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FEF6A81C7-471A-4C7A-9300-934D4C9770F3.gif&hash=61029f217ea3ca92202bc8e874501dc4)
After this TV show, she was waiting for her photos to be developed, so she sang 'Some day my prints will come'
That's what I like about you, Demo, your never negative about anything.
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That's what I like about you, Demo, your never negative about anything.
Some mathematicians are on the negative side while others are quite positive.
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......... others are quite positive.
Well, that's a plus.
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Some mathematicians are on the negative side while others are quite positive.
Which reminds me Ann ode me a fiver and Cath ode me £15.
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Some mathematicians are on the negative side while others are quite positive.
Which reminds me Ann ode me a fiver and Cath ode me £15.
Ann & Cath: Twin Peaks?
http://www.hikespeak.com/trails/twin-peaks-mount-waterman/
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No PRoblem, but I personally believe that my ancestor Sue Demografx, wasn't involved in any way.
But can you be sure she was genuinely your ancestor and not just a pseudo ancestor?
No, I'm sure.
You can verify this, Don_1, by calling my personal injury lawyer, Ms Barbara Forbear at 1-800-LETS SUE
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Today, January 14, 2016 is:
Dress Up Your Pet Day
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB42788DB-12AC-4771-B47D-0DA1A534F27F.jpg&hash=6ad239ced0f2e07f2cb98db857535ae8)
Doggone it, I hope you're paying attention.
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I wouldn't mind betting that Odyn rather than playing out in the snow is flaked out on a cosy warm cushion.
You were right. He looks adrift.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F30EFD82F-6CE2-49FB-8A94-3EA815AE6B8C.jpg&hash=b32564fc0bac22b8980220aeca65c71e)
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You were right. He looks adrift.
Woman as pirate adrift in a sea of snow
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F55EE9EFA-01A0-44B9-884F-F10CE63A5654.jpg&hash=b2a007dc66b5b6c13ed8509cf6a778e6)
Credit: Lori Andrews
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chey Anne is a different matter altogether.
Don_1, Why do you mingle with people like Anne?
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Ann & Cath: Twin Peaks?
Yes, both of them. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.egypt4u.com%2Fforum%2Fimages%2Fsmilies%2Fsnigger.gif&hash=8c6ac12bc4033edd29e27ab56e948b81)
You could say they are two-a-breast
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.essentialibiza.com%2Fecms%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F04%2Fsunbathing.jpg&hash=34a407583748b881658174121c1ae560)
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You can verify this, Don_1, by calling my personal injury lawyer, Ms Barbara Forbear at 1-800-LETS SUE
I've heard of the 'Three Bears'. Any relation?
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I wouldn't mind betting that Odyn rather than playing out in the snow is flaked out on a cosy warm cushion.
You were right. He looks adrift.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F30EFD82F-6CE2-49FB-8A94-3EA815AE6B8C.jpg&hash=b32564fc0bac22b8980220aeca65c71e)
Despite living on an arable farm, come sun or snow, plough, he wont once he's made himself comfortable.
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Woman as pirate adrift in a sea of snow
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.moderntiredealer.com%2Fpost%2FM-ice-road-truckers-20090528100637171-640w.jpg&hash=31e62b67c51dc92a0394e3212ff97634)
Credit: Lori Kenworth.
Dubious editing by Don_1
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chey Anne is a different matter altogether.
Don_1, Why do you mingle with people like Anne?
Wy? Oh mingling is a pastime of mine.
When I want to cal I phone ya.
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I've just realised Da kot ah bought is too short. The wife said it was while we were in the shop, but I just didn't listen to her and didn't bother to look in the mirror. If I had hark an' sas, I wouldn't have bought it.
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Oh hi! o, the state of those puns. I wouldn't blame you if U tar & feather me.
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I received an email telling me I had won that huge US $1.8 lottery, but the connect I cut as soon as I realised it was a wise con sent to fleece me.
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Oi! Flori, dah kettle's boiling.
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It was always said, somewhat discourteously, that The Bee Gees had a mass a chu setts.
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Oh yes! I'lliois you all with these puns. But don't be a Missouri guts. Enjoy them or ignore them.
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Ann & Cath: Twin Peaks?
Yes, both of them. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.egypt4u.com%2Fforum%2Fimages%2Fsmilies%2Fsnigger.gif&hash=8c6ac12bc4033edd29e27ab56e948b81)
You could say they are two-a-breast
Don_1 says it breast:
Phew, gee...
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You could say they are two-a-breast
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0C58BA53-8F53-4F5D-B299-029CF0E89012.jpg&hash=efc9b73d43ec80edbd82c483ed37c950)
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I received an email telling me I had won that huge US $1.8 [billion] lottery...
Like a fool, I participated: [no pun]
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FEB4E1831-6CF5-4187-85A0-E49CC0525099.jpg&hash=f7eddcb2da04cf4e68e186167df7fa1b)
My actual [losing] ticket
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George is a man from Atlanta.
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Oh yes! I'lliois you all with these puns. But don't be a Missouri guts. Enjoy them or ignore them.
O k it's late at homea.
My Contrived Pun Award is good till February 1st!
-
You can verify this, Don_1, by calling my personal injury lawyer, Ms Barbara Forbear at 1-800-LETS SUE
I've heard of the 'Three Bears'. Any relation?
I can't bear to go through with this one more time.
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I've just realised Da kot ah bought is too short...
Oh, c'mon! Da kot ah sold you suits you just fine.
-
I da ho...nope, not going to elaborate.
-
I know, Boise will be Boise.
-
I da ho...nope, not going to elaborate.
U tahling me?
Righty ho!
Lefty rake (out in the garden).
-
(https://i.ytimg.com/vi/NuJZxR_5gqE/hqdefault.jpg)
Oh dear!!!
You'd have thought he does enough blowing his own TRUMPET.
Are they called the TRUMPETTES?
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Are they called the TRUMPETTES?
Why not? Ray Charles' backup singers were called The RAELETTES!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F52494483-0C87-41FF-A60F-2E3032736BFB.jpg&hash=1bb1192a411e72052d2c0adaa0aa0514)
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I da ho...nope, not going to elaborate.
U tahling me?
Righty ho!
Lefty rake (out in the garden).
Nevah da rake should be left out in da garden!
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NOW you tell me!
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(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA56879B1-B887-436B-A504-A2CFC9933F4E.jpg&hash=2c8a3569da86a49efbe0c7fce8cb8df2)
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That's an APPropriate cartoon for the next few generations.
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I disagree. I think it would only APPly to just the next generation.
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No, I dig it.
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JimBob, your digging makes me sooooooooo hAPPy !
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Then you are app to close the app?
-
Then you are app to close the app?
No, JimBob, I'm too appreciative to do that.
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Now, I am wondering what has been done to this display on my computer.
on: 18/08/2016 04:28:24 » to a post by demo
Posted by: demografx
« on: 04/04/2016 01:04:12 » Quote (selected)
« on: 10/03/2016 12:03:36 »
Posted by: demografx
« on: 27/06/2016 22:16:58 » Quote (selected)
Posted by: demografx
« on: 28/02/2016 04:30:14 » Quote (selected)
WHY HAVE THE TOPIC POSTS BEEN JUMBLED WHEN THIS SUBJECT IS OPENED - WHY? WHERE DO I GO WHEN I OPEN TOPIC????? Top of page or bottom?
-
Stumped! :(
-
Stumped! :(
Are you 1) missing part of one of one of your limbs?
2.) sitting on the part of a tree left in the ground?
3.) a very short midget?
WELL ????????????????????????????????????
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Not only was I 'stumped,' JimBob, but I was barking up the wrong tree!
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FCE74DC35-EBCA-499F-97D2-BD04EBF13054.gif&hash=808d5b17d2a741676222bdee52cb40e4)
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Keep at it, my man. You will root out the right (or left) of it!
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Thanks for rooting for me.
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Treeemendous work you've done here at TNS, JimBob.
-
That's no run of the mill saw log.
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I can't see the wood for the trees on this thread... :'(
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You wood be barking mad not to bee able to see the difference though.
-
Wood ant it bee love alley.
-
I can't see the wood for the trees on this thread... :'(
I agree, as for est the eye can see!
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Woodn't you know - this thread's back from the dead-wood.
-
And thankfully it's not threadbare.
-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F9AF6B17A-20FB-434D-8AAE-6E9BE4E856CA.png&hash=c8059dda223ba848fc6772ce1ccba4c0)
Don't worry Chris, if anyone buys one from me I'll donate 100% of the revenue to thenakedscientists.com !
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Woodn't you know - this thread's back from the dead-wood.
Sew what if this thread's back?
-
Woodn't you know - this thread's back from the dead-wood.
Sew what if this thread's back?
Back? I'm more concerned about the thread's "front".
Is it just a busy-looking "front" for only threadbare activities?????
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Cali for Knee a placements are the best bargain around as far as not being in such Missouri all the time with bad knees!
-
Cali for Knee a placements are the best bargain around ...
Kali (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kali) elbow replacements will be expensive ...
(https://www.templepurohit.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Maa-Kali-Hindu-Goddesses-and-Deities.jpg)
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Cali for Knee a placements are the best bargain around as far as not being in such Missouri all the time with bad knees!
I can't find the postg😩
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Especially if you are in need of so many, but you might ought to be ordering them in Mass a chu settes, cause its cheaper to order in sets when You have 5 sets to order!
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You cant find what posting Demo?
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Washing tons of clothes with the muddy spring weather on the west coast.
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Washing tons of clothes with the muddy spring weather on the west coast.
Too mush washing to(n) do!
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No need to get prickly about it!
https://craftinvaders.co.uk/stinging-nettle-crisps-a-delicious-healthy-snack/
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Yes, everybody loves some part of article. I too use my physicsal force. So, if tou want to, let me blend the universal matter.
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And maybe she was the daughter of a pianist?