[jimbobghost (OP)]

Children writing about the ocean.
The next time you take an oceanography course, you will be totally prepared!
1) An octopus has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)
2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)
3) If you are surrounded by the ocean, you are an island. If you don't have an ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Mike, age 7)
4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)
5) A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age
6) My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a  woman and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)
7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)
Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really?  (Helen, age 6)
9) I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying,  my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant,  so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)
10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They live in caves under the sea where they plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7)
11) When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)
12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age
13) On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)
14) The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6)
15) My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)

[chris]

Thanks for making me chuckle!

[Kryptid]

Children always give such amusing, frank answers.

This reminds me of something my cousin said (she's a teacher). One of her students asked, "Where does the Sun go at night?" and one of her other students said, "It goes in the ocean, dummy!"

[jimbobghost (OP)]

obviously lived on the West coast

[Kryptid]

obviously lived on the West coast

We're all east coasters, ironically.

[jimbobghost (OP)]

true, altho a child living on the east coast of a large continent might see the sun sinking into a large mountain range.

[Karen W.]

That is very funny. I love kids. They never cease to amaze and entertain me!