Naked Science Forum

General Discussion & Feedback => Just Chat! => Topic started by: DoctorBeaver on 09/08/2008 09:06:29

Title: I love these sort of stories
Post by: DoctorBeaver on 09/08/2008 09:06:29
An organ grinder has been banned from performing because council chiefs think he and his monkey are a risk to the public. Paddy Cooke was hired as street entertainment for Ripley, Derbyshire, but the council said that a general risk assessment was needed before he could perform. “I'm not a danger to anyone, and my monkey isn't - he's battery-operated,” he said.

 [:D]

(But on a more serious note, how much of taxpayer's money will the risk assessment cost? - DB)

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A care home apologised after a woman of 90 was given her wish of being served fish and chips by a man wearing a thong and see-through apron. Woodland House, in St Austell, Cornwall, said that staff had overstepped the mark.

(it's a good job she didn't ask for sausages! DB)

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A tropical shrew with a taste for alcoholic nectar has been identified as the hardest-drinking creature in the world.

Pentailed tree shrews have such an appetite for alcohol that each night they imbibe, weight for weight, the equivalent of a human downing up to nine glasses of wine.

Their capacity to hold their drink and keep a clear head, however, puts human boozers to shame. After a night supping at the jungle bar the shrews are not even unsteady on their feet, let alone being copiously sick or starting drunken fights.

(I bet the buggers never buy a round - DB)
Title: I love these sort of stories
Post by: JimBob on 09/08/2008 15:48:33
I think the nursing home staff acted wisely. What do they want her to do, vegetate 23 hours a day until they are fed?

Dang, someone 90 years old deserves a little fun!

Send her for a night on the town with a rowdy gang of shrews and send Paddy along for entertainment!
Title: I love these sort of stories
Post by: DoctorBeaver on 09/08/2008 19:20:43
I think the nursing home staff acted wisely. What do they want her to do, vegetate 23 hours a day until they are fed?

Dang, someone 90 years old deserves a little fun!

Send her for a night on the town with a rowdy gang of shrews and send Paddy along for entertainment!

Well said!
Title: I love these sort of stories
Post by: Make it Lady on 09/08/2008 20:03:48
Thing, thing a thong!
Title: I love these sort of stories
Post by: JimBob on 10/08/2008 01:58:19
Thing, thing a thong!

And while the 90 year old is out on the town, keep MIL(F) LOCKED UP!

She'd take any man from anyone, even the elderly! (desperate woman that she is.)
Title: I love these sort of stories
Post by: DoctorBeaver on 10/08/2008 02:19:17
You sound as if you speak with the voice of experience.
Title: I love these sort of stories
Post by: JimBob on 10/08/2008 02:36:59
Yes, and I didn't even get a MIL(F) t-shirt!
Title: I love these sort of stories
Post by: DoctorBeaver on 10/08/2008 02:38:14
How terribly fortunate for you.
Title: I love these sort of stories
Post by: Make it Lady on 12/08/2008 16:31:33
I'll make you a T-shirt, how fat, sorry what size are you?
Title: I love these sort of stories
Post by: JimBob on 13/08/2008 00:36:25
The size you wear - er,  Sorry, a shirt two sizes smaller would do quite well. As I remember, when I woke that morning I wondered where the new chair cover had come from . It wasn't there the night before. The I realized that the material was rayon and that it was your underwear. I must have been VERY drunk that night.
Title: I love these sort of stories
Post by: Make it Lady on 13/08/2008 12:04:14
T-shirt offer withdrawn!

I don't wear underwear so neeeer!
Title: I love these sort of stories
Post by: JimBob on 13/08/2008 16:54:10
But, but, but --- oh thats what we were speaking of, your "xxxx"
Title: I love these sort of stories
Post by: Make it Lady on 13/08/2008 16:55:56
We were not talking about Australian beer at all!
Title: I love these sort of stories
Post by: JimBob on 13/08/2008 21:50:53
Yes we were. That is what we were drinking that evening. Foster - or did you forget that in your alcoholic haze - along with the rayon underwear you wore at my request?
Title: I love these sort of stories
Post by: Make it Lady on 13/08/2008 22:11:40
The static electricity was fun! The drink was four x though, not Fosters.