Naked Science Forum
General Discussion & Feedback => Just Chat! => Topic started by: dentstudent on 28/11/2008 10:23:25
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SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive
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LOL [:D] That'a really good, where did you get that?
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He got it from 5 months ago! http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=15848.0
Mine doesn't confuse Australians with New Zealanders either :P
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Oh! My apologies MS! I actually got it from an email last week. From a German. I wasn't here 5 months ago, so I didn't realise.
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Ignorance of the law is no excuse for the crime.
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So where were you 5 months ago?
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Studying bovine agriculture and economics?
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Where did you get yours MS. Very good. Yes, not confusing Australia with NZ.
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How could you confuse the two? One is a desert, the other a cold, darker version of Middle Earth.
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Haha, that's alright. I forget where I got it from, a friend linked it to me
lol @ cold, darker version of Middle Earth
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You forgot the French,
You have two cows
The locals blockade your farm.
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It's in there.....
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
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It's in there.....
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
Opps, should have gone to Specsavers
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.dailymail.co.uk%2Fi%2Fpix%2F2008%2F03_02%2FsmartgogglesJSH_228x342.jpg&hash=8a1e855f4508dc3497ef7e9a61fa78d7)
Japanese scientists have invented a pair of intelligent glasses that remembers where people last saw their keys, handbag, iPod or mobile phone.
The spectacles - which come with a built in camera, display screen and computer brain - can even identify unfamiliar plants or faces.
In fact, the only thing it can't help you find are your glasses.
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Yea, the one about Middle Earth is good!
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So are the spectacles by the way. When do they come out? They must cost an arm and a leg.
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I'd just end up losing the spectacles and then i'd be up a smelly creek with no paddle.
And who would wear those around every day all day anyway
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Timmy Mallet would. Bleeeer!