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General Discussion & Feedback => Just Chat! => Topic started by: Diydo on 16/04/2007 18:24:47

Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: Diydo on 16/04/2007 18:24:47
Hello!
Ready to hear my weird story?

First of all, there is a girl named Sally, Sally is kinda beautiful but she's not my type at all. One day a friend asked me what do I think about her and I replied, honestly, that she's not my type AT ALL..

Many months later, Sally broke up with her boyfriend and now she has a crush on me!
I wouldn't call it a normal "crush" it's >obsession<!
She kept looking at me whenever she had the chance. I kept ignoring because I don't really like her, nor her personality and because I respect my friend's feelings also.
She might has broke up with him because she has a crush on me, keep that in mind. So, my friend noticed the whole thing, and now he treats me in a weird way because he doesn't know that I know that he knows that Sally has a crush on me so he tried to be as normal as possible.

This thing has been going on for like a couple of months now. She tried her best to grab my attention, in vain. She even told her friend(s) to "monitor" me while she walks by.

The Problem:
I'm obsessed about her obsession! I don't think I have a crush on her, I don't think that I, one day, would be with her but I'm just obsessed!
Now I'm trying my best to make her more obsessed about me INVOLUNTARY, and this is getting scary.

Sometime we make direct eye-contact then quickly look away, it makes me feel awkward but also butterflies :S
I was beginning to think that I'm emotional-sadist, but the weird thing is that I'm trying to convince myself, involuntary, that she's my type :S

And I feel bad/confused and rejecting that love.
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: Seany on 16/04/2007 18:29:11
Something tells me you have a crush on her too, but want to ignore it. [;D]
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: another_someone on 16/04/2007 20:24:25
I think you are allowing yourself to get flattered by her attentions.

Might I ask what you think she sees in you (I don't mean that there is nothing worthwhile about you - but we all see different things in different people, and I suppose the question I am asking is what kind of person is she looking for - are you really that kind of person, or is she creating an unreal image of you)?
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: Seany on 16/04/2007 20:47:47
Anyway.. If she is Hawt ^^ and you like her personality, then go out with her. [;D] But I think you clearly said that shes not your type in looks or personality, but she constantly tries to get your attention. Either way, if she carries on like that, I think you will get to like her too, eventually. [;D]
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: another_someone on 16/04/2007 21:23:09
Anyway.. If she is Hawt ^^ and you like her personality, then go out with her. [;D] But I think you clearly said that shes not your type in looks or personality, but she constantly tries to get your attention. Either way, if she carries on like that, I think you will get to like her too, eventually. [;D]

Liking someone and getting intimately involved with them are two different things.  Lots of people that I like I would not find easy to allow them that intimately into my life because the way they do things and the way I do things is very different.

Most people have something you can like about them; but that does not mean they need be someone you would want in your inner circle.
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: Diydo on 17/04/2007 05:56:31
Let's be completely honest here.

I think you are allowing yourself to get flattered by her attentions.

Might I ask what you think she sees in you (I don't mean that there is nothing worthwhile about you - but we all see different things in different people, and I suppose the question I am asking is what kind of person is she looking for - are you really that kind of person, or is she creating an unreal image of you)?
Most girls develop a crush on me because, people say, I'm good-looking, and because of my grades. I don't know about her though.

Something tells me you have a crush on her too, but want to ignore it. grin

This might be a problem, a huge one actually. I get attracted to Any girl who gets better score than me. While we both got grade A, she's better by 4% (Physio-Therapy school btw).
That's why I'm trying to ignore that because it's just plain stupid if you know what I mean. That might have started a spark in the first place, maybe it's a reason that I'm allowing myself to get flattered by her attentions like another_someone said, but let's clear it up: I don't like her personality At All. She is Not my type.

Anyway.. If she is Hawt ^^ and you like her personality, then go out with her. [;D] But I think you clearly said that shes not your type in looks or personality, but she constantly tries to get your attention. Either way, if she carries on like that, I think you will get to like her too, eventually. [;D]
Maybe, I think I've developed a slight crush on her, but I'm rejecting that love completely because I simply dislike her. I've just realised that I don't have a crush on "her", I've a crush on her obsession.
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: Seany on 17/04/2007 09:54:05
Yes.. Obsessions are still prettiful [;)]
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: Ben6789 on 17/04/2007 13:11:41
Anyway.. If she is Hawt ^^ and you like her personality, then go out with her. [;D] But I think you clearly said that shes not your type in looks or personality, but she constantly tries to get your attention. Either way, if she carries on like that, I think you will get to like her too, eventually. [;D]


O..that's right, it's alllll about looks isn't it. [:(]
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: Ben6789 on 17/04/2007 13:14:08
As for asking her friends to moniter you that's just weird. She has something us AAAA's call OCD. Obsessive Compulsive disorder. I think you need to reassure your friend that you don't like like her. As for getting "Sally" off your back..just keep ignoring her..or move. [;)]
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: paul.fr on 17/04/2007 14:35:35
As someone who is always surrounded by beautiful, intelligent women myself. I can empathise with your situation.

as i see it you have two options, just go with the flow. good looking handsome guys like us, are just burdened with the responsibility of being eye candy and fantasy figures for women. i know it's hard but we have to cope.

or, just tell her you like her brother!

both options involve sacrifice.
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: Diydo on 17/04/2007 14:41:31
Ok, I thought about this for a long time, and now I Know why I feel this way about her obsession. I don't like playing with someone's feelings but she's giving me no chance. Unlike all the other girls she's literately "obsessed"
As bad as it may sound she makes my day very interesting. I mean, I remember how bored I get before, but now things are spicy.
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: paul.fr on 17/04/2007 14:43:21
Ok, I thought about this for a long time, and now I Know why I feel this way about her obsession. I don't like playing with someone's feelings but she's giving me no chance. Unlike all the other girls she's literately "obsessed"
As bad as it may sound she makes my day very interesting. I mean, I remember how bored I get before, but now things are spicy.

what are your ages?
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: Diydo on 17/04/2007 14:52:22
I'm almost 18 years old, I don't know about her.
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: Seany on 17/04/2007 15:08:21
This is cool. [;)]
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: Ben6789 on 17/04/2007 16:05:19
As someone who is always surrounded by beautiful, intelligent women myself. I can empathise with your situation.

as i see it you have two options, just go with the flow. good looking handsome guys like us, are just burdened with the responsibility of being eye candy and fantasy figures for women. i know it's hard but we have to cope.

or, just tell her you like her brother!

both options involve sacrifice.


It's all about the looks...
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: Seany on 17/04/2007 16:09:10
LOL. Ben, is that what you are saying?

Yes, well personally, LOOKS are important, but not as important as personality, which everyone knows, even if they don't want to admit or agree to it. [;)]
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: Ben6789 on 17/04/2007 16:35:45
 Good point Seany! I feel better now! [:)]
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: Seany on 17/04/2007 16:44:56
Anyway.. Is she Hawt ^^ ? LOL. Nahh. You do what pleases ya. You might eventually like her I suppose [;)]
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: Ben6789 on 17/04/2007 16:47:59
I don't think a relationship with someone that obsessive is healthy. Think of what would happen when you break up with her.

She might end up like the guy at Virginia Tech Massacre. Going crazy because you broke up with her.
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: Diydo on 17/04/2007 16:58:40
She's hot, pretty and smart yet not my type. Everybody knows that personality is the most important thing in a 'serious' relationship because she may end up being your wife for life!
That's why I'm totally rejecting this relationship, I mean, I can go with the flow and start seeing her you know.
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: Seany on 17/04/2007 16:59:47
Hmm.. Suppose. But.. Wouldnt you not going out with her kill her aswell? LOL. And if she figures that she doesn't really like you after going out with you, because she only likes you by the looks, and haven't really had a chance to know your personality, then she wouldn't be that upset.

Anyway, I'm not telling you who to go or not go out with. It's your choice. But I wouldn't go out with her anyway. [:P] She'd freak me out with the whole stalkin business!
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: Diydo on 17/04/2007 17:17:20
heh, I guess this topic is already closed. It helped me analyse my feelings more accurately. Anyway, time to surf the forum anonymously once again!
Thanks eveyone! I really appreciate it

Peace out  [8)]
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: Seany on 17/04/2007 17:19:02
Hey, your welcome. I hope all goes well with you and that girl! I mean, not to make a relationship or anything, but just to solve some problems. [;)]
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: another_someone on 17/04/2007 21:12:18
I would ask - do you really think she is looking at you as a serious relationship, or as a trophy to hang on her wall (I know there are plenty of men who trophy hunt women, and there are women too who trophy hunt men - fine if both sides agree that is what they after, but not so if one side thinks they want more)?
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: Karen W. on 18/04/2007 02:07:30
People are not always what they appear to be.. You may really not know her type at all seeing that you really don't know her well enough to say what she is really like deep down inside . The only way to find out would be to get to know her better and see with your own heart what she is truely like and she can see what you are truely like too!
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: another_someone on 18/04/2007 10:27:08
People are not always what they appear to be.. You may really not know her type at all seeing that you really don't know her well enough to say what she is really like deep down inside . The only way to find out would be to get to know her better and see with your own heart what she is truely like and she can see what you are truely like too!

You can say a few things about how she sees herself.

She has tried to make herself visually noticed, and has asked her friends to report on how Diydo responds to her physical appearance.

What she has not done is gone up and spoken to him, and tried to show that she in an interesting person, rather than merely a superficially sexually attractive person.

Ofcourse, one cannot say that her self image is necessarily correct, but one can certainly suggest that she does have a high confidence in her own physical attractiveness, and little confidence in her own personality being attractive.

It is clear that she has had no shortage of previous boyfriends, so one can imagine that this prioritisation of physical appearance over personality has been the successful basis of the earlier relationships that she is now trying to repeat.
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: Diydo on 18/04/2007 12:23:27
Well, Just to make things clearer, I won't consider being in a relationship with that girl for many reasons which are obvious. Man, I don't even like her!
Title: Emotional-Sadist
Post by: Ben6789 on 18/04/2007 13:09:00
The stalking is too freaky, don't go out with her...
I would ask - do you really think she is looking at you as a serious relationship, or as a trophy to hang on her wall (I know there are plenty of men who trophy hunt women, and there are women too who trophy hunt men - fine if both sides agree that is what they after, but not so if one side thinks they want more)?

...Don't be her trophy.