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Love
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Love
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moonfire
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Re: Love
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Reply #60 on:
30/06/2006 00:36:59 »
Karen, the countdown is off! Denny made me mad...government is holding him back with property there..i know the government is not going to release property but he is stubborn...he wants to stay until it is over..i told him i wouldn't ask again when he was coming, he could tell me. this is going to be 6 months soon for him to be over there...Denny and I aren't fun to me...I maybe just upset...not sure? Can't clearly think as I am steaming upset...maybe I don't need to get married? I even asked him how could he be caught dead with a dumb american like me...he was a bit upset when I said that...then he had nerve enough to ask me to prove it! How do I prove to be a dumb American? Okay, I told him I don't know how to open my email anymore...pretty dumb statement I think...he was just quiet and said he loved me...I hung up...I was rude...I was awful...and dumb! I will send him an email that tells him my feet are big and if we marry, they would need more covers!
Joy, interesting...had a huge tiff today with man...maybe I am not the marrying type?
Maybe I am still not ready for marriage??? I know you have to have ups and downs...but you are scaring me with the for better or for worse part, I think seeing that hit me hard! Is it possible? Could I live with this as I do keep my promises and don't want to ever break any?
"Lo" Loretta
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Re: Love
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Reply #61 on:
30/06/2006 03:01:28 »
Lo,
I don't remember exactly, but I have a recollection that you are somewhere around 40 years of age.
It is generally a lot more difficult getting married when you have got that far into your life without having to make the compromises that marriage requires.
My cousin, who is 43, has just got engaged, and I have no doubt he will have quite a transition to make. At my age (49 (50 in a couple of weeks), and never in a long term relationship), I would not ever dream of taking such a risk. Then again, I have a father who changes wives as often as most people change jobs (wife number 5 at present, and a few unofficial one's inbetween), so I suppose I am more cynical than most about marriage.
G
eorge
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moonfire
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Re: Love
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Reply #62 on:
30/06/2006 03:20:34 »
George,
Yes, I am 43 actually...I know about compromises and have done it a few times before. LOL There are a lot of things I have thought about here, adjustment is one, but this back and forth for the last 6 months has been hard on both of us, but there are other things besides this too..but at least if he was here we could work through some other things...
I struggle with some things myself such as my space as when I cleaned out my closet so I can make room for Denny's stuff...I thought about it and realized it is more than just closet space room has to be made there are so many things I have to deal with myself...I do thank God he is patient and understands my stupidity...If I do get married he and I have both agreed there is no out...
"Lo" Loretta
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Re: Love
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Reply #63 on:
30/06/2006 09:32:41 »
Hello Loretta, Please feel better! I am so sorry for your upset today and am wishing you two all the happiness anyway! I know how that distance can feel. I was away from Bob for 7 months, but I got to see him about ten days total in that 7 month spand, and He was sleeping the whole time he was home. I was devastated and we were both miserable. We had been together for 20 years and had only been apart twice for two days while he attended a baseball game at the stick and when I had gone to visit a close freind.
There is alot to be said about not giving up. You guys can do this, Just think he doesn't know you are going to say yes! Perhaps he is delaying from the fear of being turned down again. Maybe not, but maybe! It sounds like you love him very much and that he loves you. You guys can work out details and things can come together if you truely want them too. It sounds like you have some reservations, so remember how important your decision is , and I know you are really weighing this, as I am reading your post. Remember being married is first the joining of your hearts, not the words on the paper. Your hearts will tell you what to do, and the rest will fall into place! Love is a funny thing, it can make you a nervous wreck. You two know each others hearts and how you act upon the feelings in your heart will depend on what is truely inside. I love ya Loretta, I am sorry for your sadness and doubt! Pray on it, ponder it and be brave and strong! Keep your chin high!
.....Karen
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Last Edit: 24/07/2006 02:40:42 by Karen W.
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moonfire
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Re: Love
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Reply #64 on:
30/06/2006 11:34:07 »
Whoa! Pretty deep insight into this matter Karen...you could be right that little rascal! I swear he will have to play laser tag...hehe I need a huge laugh or two...He could be delaying this as he says now he is a bit nervous...never seen him nervous before...I guess this is a good thing for a change...I do love him a lot...okay more than a lot...immeasurably and he knows this too. I am sure he is scared that I will not accept, but he has been ignoring that fact and trying to make plans for the honeymoon...?? They say us women are complicated..hmmphhh! I do want them to work out. I know my only reservation is I don't want to get married and we fall apart...even though we have promised each other that if we do get married...the D-word is never to be brought up or spoken to each other...I just don't ever want to split up...I know, you are right it is more than paper, but with paper it is final with the two of us. We haven't spoken since the last call and I was a horse's batudie when he tried to reach me a couple of time and did not pick up the phone...now that we have a way to talk we aren't...no excuse of communication workers now...I am trying to listen to more than my heart and hear what my brain is trying to disect too. We do know each other's heart and I know he would like to call, but it is pointless right now until he can come to terms about certain things with the government over there...this could cost him more than money and not sure if he wants to continue doing this or not...meaning he could desire to stay longer and longer just to try to win and anyone who knows anything about that country knows you may win in court, but the government is very crooked so they will eventually win in the end. Thanks Karen for your concern, thoughts, and love...it is very supportive along with everyone else...I have to experience sadness sometimes even though it is not my forte as I usually love life and have much joy...but today it has stilled in my mind and my heart. I will continue praying, pondering over it, brave and strong...think that flew out the window...but will force myself to go to work today and throw myself into it heavily...
Low Lo
"Lo" Loretta
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Karen W.
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Re: Love
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Reply #65 on:
02/07/2006 08:06:19 »
Love stands strong in every heart Loretta, you mustn't give up your faith in Love! Within love you will find your strength! You are stronger then you know and I continue to think of you with great admiration for your love and zest for life. Peaceful dreams my friend!
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moonfire
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Re: Love
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Reply #66 on:
02/07/2006 10:05:34 »
Karen, I haver irrationally and rationally tried to sort this out...I am now going to walk through the door of destiny of what is going to be and what will be....? I have to make a call to wish Denny a happy birthday regarldess how unhappy he or myself is at the moment...today is his birthday. I cannot be a coward and just email or im...and yes i left an offline message but he hasn't been online...i know, i know it was the pollo or poulet way out of hearing his voice...and I know I have to pick up the telephone to call and wish him a Happy Birthday...I don't want to, this goes against my principals...but it also goes against my principals not to call as it is the right thing to do...my faith for love has went down the tubes...maybe I should read one of those trash novels so I can quit thinking...hehe I have no more strength it is taking ever bit of my willpower to pick up the phone in 21/2hrs to make this call...this is one of the hardest things to do...I just wonder why this had to hapen right before his birthdday, why ccouldn't this have transpired after so I wouldn't have to pick up the stupid phone? I am looking at the phone as it it is a traitor and should be punished for treason of the heart in a bit...
I really thank you for thinking I am stronger than I really am...but the truth...I am very vulnerable and hate to think when I make this call that I may breakdown and cry...this could be it, our relationship could take flight and never return the same again as we may now take separate paths which logically this job has separated us more than anytime in 2 years. Or this could make me cry and show more vulnerability than ever...also, it is the first time I have ever recalled Denny being this strong not calling, emailing, or im'ing after the first day...maybe he is tired of fighting this too? maybe he realizes this is the end? maybe he has given up like I am on my pathway of giving up too? I feel like it is a stalemate where we face each other and have to decide if we continue on or if we go forward or not...we have one move to make.
Thanks Karen for your admiration for my love and zest for life...not sure if I can meet those standards in your eyes but you are a great encouragement to me for seeing your strength day by day in the many things you have accomplished...I can't thank you enough my friend. If it hadn't been for you, neil, Joy, and a few others here...I would probably have turned into a total recluse...but this forum and the other one seems to help keep me on my toes and laughing...
I am afraid to report no dreams tonight...sleep has escaped my clutches...I hope you were able to sleep?
"Lo" Loretta
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Re: Love
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Reply #67 on:
02/07/2006 18:25:32 »
Yes I slept. Am thinking of you at this difficult time! All will be alright Loretta!.....Karen
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tootsie78
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Re: Love
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Reply #68 on:
02/07/2006 20:35:59 »
Hang in there Loretta! I am still thinking about you & this situation!!! You'll get through it girl! I can tell this is "the real thing" between the 2 of you!!!
*Joy*
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moonfire
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Re: Love
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Reply #69 on:
03/07/2006 04:47:12 »
Karen and Joy! Thanks! This is really dragging and as my computer now. I had difficulty getting in touch with Denny but manage to say Happy Birthday to him...but the phone cut us off...he sounded happy...but I am not still...need to get to the bottom of this issue. I have to call him back as I have to go over a couple of things with him. I am just wanting this to be over soon. Talk to you guys later...I can't type any thing else. Good night for now..have a new book to get into.
"Lo" Loretta
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moonfire
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Re: Love
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Reply #70 on:
03/07/2006 12:00:17 »
Karen, thought more rationally about this situation...just like in the diary I think he thinks I am about to throw in the towell on this relationship...which can only happen if he chooses too or if he stays another 3 months over there in that country..I know 9 months total is long enough for him to be stubborn or tired of situation as I will not go to Africa to meet him there as he needs to think how this decision is affecting him...he has enough mercy from me to allow another 3 months...which I will email him and tell him that...I was not going to, but have decided to tell him he has 3 months to make up his mind the land or me? I understand his decision but what I understand is how corrupt the government is over there...they have more staying power and he is stubborn but sometimes it can be a bad thing...which will be for us. yes, I could go over there, but that would not change his mind. Maybe I shouldn't tell him in my mind that I have 3 months as his ultimate timeframe? Nah, thought about this too much and at some point and time I need to regain my life back this depression is not worth it.
Talk to you guys later...(boy, my spelling is attrocious as I read a post or two of mine ago...)hehe
"Lo" Loretta
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Re: Love
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Reply #71 on:
03/07/2006 20:28:52 »
Well Loretta, Comunication is good! Glad to see it friend, and you are right about The depression being no good!
You know Loretta, we all make decisions about things, to stay or not to stay; but sometimes we all have to learn the hard way or we don't learn anything! Isn't that just a kick in the pants. No matter what I say to my children, I always find that more then likely they will try it their way, anyway before they learn. There have been more then one occasion that this held true and many times that I could have said, "I told you so!" Live and learn I guess!...have a great day! ....karen
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Last Edit: 04/07/2006 01:21:09 by Karen W.
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neilep
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Re: Love
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Reply #72 on:
28/06/2006 13:53:30 »
Hee Hee !!...you're going to need engagement ring, wedding rings, bridesmaid rings...rings rings rings rings rings!!!....hmmmmm !!..if only you knew of a good jeweller !! [
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Men are the same as women, just inside out !
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Men are the same as women, just inside out !
tootsie78
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Re: Love
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Reply #73 on:
28/06/2006 21:20:07 »
HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LORETTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I married young!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Joy*
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Re: Love
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Reply #74 on:
29/06/2006 04:08:20 »
Karen.......WOW !!...you are amazing at recalling and then telling with eloquence your wonderful memories. You are very articulate.....and hubby is a super bloke....and ...he's lucky too.
Thanks for a great luvvy duvvy post....
Men are the same as women, just inside out !
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tootsie78
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Re: Love
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Reply #75 on:
29/06/2006 05:03:07 »
Sorry, I have NOOO idea why that posted 3 times! SORRY EVERYBODY!
*Joy*
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tootsie78
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Re: Love
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Reply #76 on:
29/06/2006 05:07:43 »
Karen,
I was 18 when we got married...JUST turned 18! I was 15 when we met, 16 when we started dating, 17 when we got engaged, & 18 when we got married. He was definitely not my first kiss, or first hug, or first love...but he is my FOREVER LOVE!!! There is nobody else on this earth for me! He's mine & all mine forever! LOVE HIM TO DEATH!!! I have an idea all you ladies! Let's post pics of our hubbies (or significant others), k??? Sound good?
*Joy*
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moonfire
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Re: Love
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Reply #77 on:
29/06/2006 06:00:03 »
Neil, you are too funny...of course, i will make sure you get first dibs on my rings...you do design right?
Joy, you married young and you chose correctly...I married young and foolishly. Good point also about him being forever...I am sure Denny and I will be fine...as he said, it will be a great union! LOL
Karen, you are so awesome...enjoyed the story...21yrs of age and you chose correctly too.
"Lo" Loretta
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Re: Love
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Reply #78 on:
29/06/2006 08:49:17 »
Met when you were 15, how cool is that! How old are you Joy! I think you told me once but I can't remember! I really love you guys you are all so awesome. So lets not forget this kind of Love. I have fallen in love here in this forum over and over again with all of you friends. Such strong feelings I can honestly say some of them as strong as the feelings I have for my own family. Neil you are on the top of that list with your wit and wisdom as are Joy Loretta and Carolyn and all my other friends. I enjoy reading posts from George and laith and hadrian , Michael Chris and Dave as well as DocBeaver. I think that you are all wonderful...Karen
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Last Edit: 29/06/2006 09:05:12 by Karen W.
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Re: Love
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Reply #79 on:
29/06/2006 09:03:01 »
Well Mamesa.
I know that when I met my husband the very first time I liked him, I offered him a piece of gum, we were just co workers, He had incredible striking big blue eyes. Lots of curly sandy blonde hair. So at first I thought he was cute, but with no intentions of relationship cute, like I want to jump your bones. Just a cute guy! Very Quiet. I liked that, he was not loud and obnocious like some men I had met. So that was attractive to me. He was very polite and sweet and most of all he was oh so gentle in spirit and demeanor. For the most part he still is. Those were attributes I liked as well as the fact that he was very honest. So There were a ton of different things that attracted him to me....
I have to think on that some more!.... Karen
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