Naked Science Forum
General Discussion & Feedback => Just Chat! => Topic started by: jolly on 05/05/2007 14:30:00
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Star Wars
Episode V n-a1/2
The search for Luke:
A long time ago in a galaxy far far away....
Our story continues as Yoda and the lady search high and lo for luke. Han offers his services and leia slaps him.
The evil lord vader tries to buy the lady a drink, and tells her he has a penthouse. Escaping his Evil clutches she continues on her quest,arriving at her home world of yabbanabbadebabasomthinglongwithfunnywordsinit she discovers that luke has passed through recently, armed with this new information, we now join her as she persues luke from one side of the galaxy to the other....
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(erm.. A bit similar to my game.. but ok..)
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JarJar Binks stands at the helm and throws out commands to his posts while awaiting a response he notices a strange green light coming from another galaxy.
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"Clearly the cabbage people are going to war" He says to mr hedgehog
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Where are our defense shields?
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"err... I sold them to an ou-tini yesterday" says mr hedgehog
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"Mr. Hedgehog, you need to ask Stevy to invent us another one made with more durability."
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Mr hedgehog scraches spines "stevey died yesterday in the milieniumfalcon with han, Lets run away!" "oh why dont we fly by the prison world of yadayadyoudeserveityadayada we can save Paris, hey!- she might put out"
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She might put you out alright!!! LOL Perhaps a new Plan is in order!
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Mr hedgehog ponders the implications "maybe your right!" he says "what do you think lady? should we start looking for luke now? I'm not scared of the cabbage people anyway!"
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Me Neither we must find Luke as I miss him terribly and wonder if he misses me?? I bet he is up to no good somewhere trying to charm other ladies as I know he does very well! LOL
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"O.k We'er agreed" says Captin Walls "all strape in Were about to go into ludicrus speed" "yes, you to jar jar!" "Wait" says mr hedgehog "theres a load of choc ices comming at us"
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Well This is indeed exciting my first time at Ludicrus speed!!! Light em up Boys and lets see this baby fly!
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under the skillful pilotshipness? of captin walls they evade the 'Dark' Choc ices- "So" says captin Walls "where should we go?" "If I was a Luke where would I be?"
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Right here beside me!
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"Well thats very nice lady! but in the pusuit of adventure might he not be somewhere else?" Replys captin Walls "on the other side of the Galaxy perhaps".
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LOL If you insist on me giving away all our secrets Then ok there is a planet 10 light years away called , somewhere in time,that is cloaked and hidden from travelers veiw. If you just stand strong in the force Luke will guide us right in!
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"O.K team cream are a go! Jar Jar pull up the anckor!" Says Captin Walls
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THat boy is always on the other side of the Galaxy.. His whole life is an adventure!! LOL
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"lady there is no need to state the obvious" says Mr hedgehog
"what we need right now is a load of power mad hippos to gives us a few problems or maybe the cabbage people could come back- after all the cabbage people always come back and in greater numbers!"
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I will keep my eys open.. LOL if theres a problem I know you can handle it! LOL
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Meanwhile, Jar Jar thinks about this equation that sits before him scratching his ears, wondering what Luke would do in a situation like this with no defense shields....hhhhmmmmmmm
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Meanwhile in a galaxy far away called somewhere in time Luke sat sensing the power of the force...and using it to direct the captain and its crew safely into the system..
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At the same time Luke ducks out the otherside, fully aware that the lady was comming!
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This young Jedi is getting quite strong in the force and is managing to always stay several steps ahead of us! Perhaps its me???
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whilst contemplating what would happen with no defence shield, they all took their eye off the ball and failed to notice that the sun was going supernova. the force was not with luke as the sun exploded......all life in the univerce was suddenly and without warning extinguished.
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"no paul" says captin Walls "they paid us 62 million to make this bloody film and it cant end that badly- afterall if everyones dead how can we buy 99s?"
and responding to the lady
"Yes, Maybe your right" says Mr hedgehog "quick put on this wig and try those new shoes you bought on danttarrkfpvkvinvdfpfj".
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Right away Captain..Do you still think he will know?
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"He's not a jedi yet" says yoda.
Mean while in the giant M-n-M the planet destroying space station-formerly known as 'Death star'! Darth Vader plots the best way to dump his stock with no-one noticing"
Back with yoda and the lady "yell noo luke asss run off again Lady yot you want toooo dooo?" says Yoda
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Let him go... We will find a new Jedi Will will make him stronger then before better then before and sweeter then before.. and did I say more of a home body! LOL..Seriously we must regroup and make a new plan Stan!!
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"sounds like someone is being taken by the dark side of the force" says yoda "No maybe she has a point" says mr hedgehog "lets go get paris!" "well if the lady no longer wawnt to chase the coward all over galaxy- what does she want to do?" asks Jar Jar "I mean, I'm not going shopping!"
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She wants to see all the galaxies possible and make sure there is a lot of interesting excitement along the way!
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"well that's great but dont you think we should actually go do it, rather than just talking about it?" says mr Hedgehog "I think rescuing Paris would be fun, but you dont want to"
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No, it isn't that, but there is a whole galaxy to clean up now!
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"Dont worry" says Mr hedgehog "The cabbage people are good at cleaning- theres a cleaning agency on yayayayacurvayayay full of cabbage people"
"True" agrees jar jar "If you just stop throwing you rappers out the window we'll be fine"
"besides that blackhole will sort most of it" says captin walls
"what blackhole?" asks the lady "err that one just over there.. errr how do you go backwards?"
"see what you've done I told you we should ave gone after Paris but nooo! now coz of you lot were all gonna sucked into that" crys Mr hedgehog
"shut up all of you!" says Captin walls "start paddling"
"Look I'm sorry, I dont care how much they are paying us you cannot open a window in space or bloody paddle" says mr hedgehog
"ssshhh" says captin walls "The kids love this stuff"
"Fine wheres the bloody ore? Fifthteen years I've been doing this never thought I end up rowing a lolly with windows- away from a giant blackhole! my bloody agent is goonn.." "Just row!"
"I am! where we going now then?"
"We'll I dont know about the rest of you, but I could do with a mc-donalds" says Jar Jar
"right! thats it- I'm not bloody rowing to some space drive through!"
And then he promotly climbes out the window!
"dont worry lady we don't need him anyway- he's on 10k a day!" says captin walls "yeah it's right at the lights!"
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Then aliens invade the galaxy and kidnap lady, so luke must go after her and save her!...again..*sighs*
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"yeah thats a good idea" thinks Luke "I mean, now shes all weak and helpless" Jumping in his X-wing he sees....
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an asteroid headed right for his ship, it's about to hit him when Captin Wall accidentally zooms in the way and deflects it.
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"thank god that lollys made rubber" Luke says to captin Walls
"yeah props even flavoured it" he shouts back from the window...
"Right, right" says luke.. we could'nt do this in the last film"
"I know its the marval of mordern cinema" replys captin Walls "my control pannels even got a cup holder!"
Together they now set of to rescue the lady....
Mean while back on the- MnM planet destoying space station formerly known as 'Death Star'. Darth Vader.....
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Plans another invasion this time his diabolical mind may have surpassed his previous...
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"yes" he thinks "I'll externalise myself! Know one would ever suspect! For someone else can destroy.. 'coughts' sorry... Control the universe!"
Presently Luke and Captin walls are flying through....
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a meteor shower and trying to avoid being bludgened to death by the extremely large chunks of......
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"Mc-donalds..." says captin Walls
"It cant be Mc-donalds" Says luke "nothing has the power to destroy an entire drive through, it would take more fire power then... well.... something powerful"
"look" says Captin walls "theres A Giant MnM"
"So what'll we do now" Asks Jar Jar....
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It's not a meteor shower I bet Darth Vader has something to do with this!!!!
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"no, thats definately a big mac going past the window" Says luke
"Food!" says Jar Jar "trying to grab it through the window"
"that MnM is getting very close" Says Luke to
captin walls
"Your Right I'll.......
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"Get everything ready here for transfer and we will be on the ready as soon as we are there!"
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Jar Jar floats out in space and the aliens blast him for being a..erm, idiot.
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They then realize that that was just a Jar Jar balloon, and the x-wing takes the distraction time to...
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Fly abit... and talking to walls....
"Well thats not a good idea" says Luke "I mean I dont know whats inside that giant MnM"
"Just peanut and chocolate" says Captin Walls
"Oh, so how did it blow up the drive through then" asks Luke
"I dont know" says Jar Jar "maybe it had a nut allergy"
"Look" says Luke "Your Characters crap! Atleast your jokes could be funny!"
"We'll its not my fault, You dont like Knock knock jokes, I am trying here!" Replys Jar Jar
"Alright just stop sticking your tongue in stuff, it took me a week to get the smell out of my......
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trousers thanks to Jar Jar! (looooooong story on that one!)
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suddenly, the MnM activated is booster engines, and the death-star's Guns were broght to bear, revealing the other side of the MnM as the evil Death-star.
Needless to say, our heros where very befuddled. (hehe, thats a funny word)
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Suddenly luke stood in a trance feeling the power of the force ... he began to speak saying it's the princess I believe we are close...yes I am sure of it I can smell her.....
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she says of course, shes been in the back the whole time, now just pay attention.
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Then the aliens, who became friends with Jar Jar, begin attacking the Death Star to stall it's firing sequence.
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however, the chocolatelyness of the death star just absorbed all the attacks, and the beam fired at the planet. The cream colored and cloudy beam came in contact with the planet, and gave it a nice cream filling.
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Which Jar Jar ate with his new alien friends, collapsing the planet.
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the death star then entered hyperspace, pointed directly at the planet coruscant.
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Planet Crescant was in deep danger and luke made a desperate plan to have Jar Jar eat the beam after it's fired.
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Jar Jar now weighing 2000 stone colasped and exploded sending creamy big macs in all directions
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His alien friends mourned.
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By singing a song that went.....
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joy to the world he is dead we'll barb-q his head wat will happen to his body? well flush it down the potty around and around it goes, around and around it goes, oh! around and around and around it goes!
(tune to joy to the world)
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(It was a freakin period!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
After the song was done everyone was so distracted the failed to note Planet Crescant danger.
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As they watched his remains exploding a visual miracle began to take place....wait it was not a miracle! Jar Jar was regenerating himself and with each piece of his remains he was replicating himself , over and over again.. .. The Lady said, "Captain, Luke.. do you see that?" There are hundreds of Jar Jars!!
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Luke cursed, Captin Walls cried.
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The lady Fainted dead away!!
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Yes he regenerated into mega- jar jar Even more annoying than before
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"That's it we have to dump some of these duplicates off on another planet they are making me crazy and giving me a headache!" she stated.
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"Well how are we going to dump them" asks Luke "there all clinging to the side and telling knock knock jokes"
"I know" says Captin walls "lets.....
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THE END!
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Okay, our producers must be really poor to end it like this.
I know, lets call the Ben kid with connections.
Sounds good to me.
*Connections help the movie continue*
...lets drop him back off on his home planet!
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psst! A supernova wouldn't make the universe, galaxy, or etc end. Just the solar system, and maybe a radius of about 10 light-years.
end of the end
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Eh? What the heck? oh well
THey attempted to drop jar jar off but the Death Star had already reached his planet and was preparing to fire.
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psst! A supernova wouldn't make the universe, galaxy, or etc end. Just the solar system, and maybe a radius of about 10 light-years.
end of the end
Psst! It doesn't have to destroy the galaxy, just the main character! [;)]
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dont you get it!?!?!
the good guys always win! [;D][;)][;D]
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Still don't understand.
Jar Jar, seeing the Death Star aimed at his planet, gets an idea to save it by doing what he does best, he floats over to the death star and tells knock knock jokes, three troopers inside die of the stupidity.
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so He begins to dance around spinning like a top until....
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The Death Star spins off topic with him, throwing off his aim from the planet.
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The vast void of empty space encircled them in silence when suddenly......
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Captain Hedgehog arrives on the scene with all of his compadres and exclaims,"I thought this was the end and it was really the beginning!"
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"The beginning?" questions the Lady.
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"only the beginning, Lady." Said Captain Hedgehog, "And now you will experience the real deal."
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She looked at him with questioning eyes that turned to confusion. She asked, "If It has not been the real deal thus far, then what the heck have I been doing for all this time?"
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"Practicing! can't you remember going into the virtual reality chamber?"
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"Virtual Reality?" Lady said, but an interruption was caused by troopers launching ice cream at them.
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"Yes I do remember!" So real so wonderful.. and then the storm troopers...What are we going to do now?" cries the Lady!
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"I miss the virtual reality..Thingy alot, maybe it's time to try this version on for size?" " It is a good thing Me is not alone is this lonely Planet!" "It is good to have you by my side, Captain with you I am never alone.. and always safe"
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"Captain I must be off to my chambers as the day holds much work ahead.. and I am overwhelmed by reality." "Please steer this ship safely ahead..You have my full permission to guide it where you like.."
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set course into the sun! wait, nevermind. Set course to the planet tuckashirtin!
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LOL.. LOL.. "Sorry" I must be tired.. I thought you said planet"Tuckashirtin!" LOL...."I think I am experiencing space sickness or perhaps I am experiencing an effect of the laughing gas from the atmosphere!!!" LOL LOL LOL....
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oh, sorry, wrong planet. Set course to planet Tuckasockin!
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The Death Star was mad about being interrupted and stopped from destroying two planets, so it turned and fired at...
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the jelly ball! The firing sequence began...
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"Evasive action!" Cried Captain Wall, and they turned toward the only place they could go...
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gray alert! we are entering neutral territory. If I don't make it out of this, tell my wife I said hello.
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"Actually she's on the phone." Lady said, and Captain Walls said goodbye as his wife beraded him for a whole slew of other things.
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how is she in the phone? were in the middle of space and she is at the planet, be don't have phone lines connecting there! unless... Helm! check for hull breach!
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It turned out to be Jar Jar playing a prank call, they ejected him into space, "How did he get back in here anyway.." Helm said.
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awwww! that was another balloon! find the real Jar Jar!
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'LOL someone do something about this gas as my sides hurt LOL!!!!"
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"Okay, venting now..." Says Helm.
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ack! the death star is coming to...
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fire on us!" Evasive manueuvers...again.
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"OH NO! Lets not get caught with our pants down boys Light speed Now!"
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wait! tickle the death star to make it miss!
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LOL....HEEHEE HEEE..Tckle it! LOL.. Sorry...
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tickle tickle tickle! it's not working! everyone help!
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OH STOP STOP You are Arousing Vader instead of getting him off course! LOL We'll never be rid of him at this rate! LOL..
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"Quick! Give him our laughing gas!"
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"Give em something, then lets get out of here..! I am off to my chambers.. I must go visit the crazy place for awhile.. Work work work! LOL Keep us out of trouble Captain."
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Suddenly Vadar is off course and can't stop laughing and missing them by a mere meter. Meanwhile Jar Jar is planning a new prank to play on them.
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So he partially opens a door and puts a water bucket on top where Captain Walls is going.
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"always the practical Joker!"
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Walls opens the door and the bucket suddenly blows up because...
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Jar Jar didn't fill it with water, but some other substance called...
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blowmystackicescream
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"IT's amazing normally I have to pay for this sort of treatment" says VADER "Can you do that thing with the...."
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"Magical little ........"
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"wheel barrow, I love that, especially when you..."
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"pull out the bag of magic sprinkles and begin to sprinkle them all...."
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"over my dark helmit" Mean while returning too......
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the magic wheel barrow.. thoughts of impending...
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gardening consumed mr hedgehog "It's been three weeks maybe I should'nt have walked off set?" he ponders just then.....
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when suddenly a sharp pain strikes him in the chest and he clutches his hand to his chest as he looks down and realizes he has been hit by a massive chunk of flying...
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wedding cake!
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Screams
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at the guests in next doors reception "I dont have to take this I'm bloody famous!" then grabbing his magic wheel barrow he walks off towards.....
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the outer doors , muttering under his breath about....
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How- 'if his favourite sheep was still alive none of this would matter'. Then arriving back at the lollyfalcon he notices........
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That there was wool strung from the entrance and in that wool was woven.....
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into a welcome home mr hedgehog sign! "Quick get in" says Captin Walls "the cabbage people are comming!"
"O.k" Replys mr hedgehog "where are the ores?" Mean while yoda and Leia discuss......
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The psyhological effects of Yoda's rather unusual proposals of affection between herself and.....
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the now dead han! "dont worry leia I'm sure george has a new love interest for you" says yoda
agreing mr hedgehog says "Yeah it's probably......"
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JAVA THE HUT....
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DRR DRR DEEERRRR!!!! Yes, George annoyed that Leia wouldnt put out! Wrote in java, as her new love interest!!!!
sliding in through the window with flowers Java says" Leia...
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"I want to make your dreams come true...." LOL
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"slurp slurp sit on my face slurp"...
"cut!" says George "now java it says quite clearly in the script 'would you like a choc ice'!!!!"
"Action" moving towards Leia java says.....
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pssst! I see dead people!
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"CUT! CUT! CUT!" says George "Wrong bloody film!!! I know your off to make the 'sixth sense two' after this, but keep to the script".....
"sod it! give me the suit and go home!!!"
"Action"! "would you like a choc ice?" Says Gova
"err no" Says Leia "I dont like you, you big smelly old fishy faced thingy you... Why dont you just..."
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But she is interrupted when troopers attack and kill Java, and since George has gone home, someone else must develop a new love interest.
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A stranger appeared carrying a loaded bouquet of light sabers...tied with a beautiful Red Ribbon.. He Knelt in front of Leia and asked her for her hand in......
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Melted chocolate, because the stranger was a kinky type, he was wearing a pvc thong and a whip fell from his studded belt. He winked a Leia and she extended her hand and .....
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Said How do you do! I knew it wouldn't take you long to rescue me Now where did you come up with that disguise???...
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He was about to answer when the troops (who no ones killed yet) gunned him down too.
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But it turns out he was just a hologram and the real rescuer was stood behind the troopers, and he severed their helmets with one of his many lightsabers, leia, who was ecstatic, jumped into his arms and...........
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Proclaimed her undying allegiance to his cause and swore she would never........
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She was interrupted again as a the Death Star crashed into the building.
tee hee hee, i'm sneaky!
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Yes! Sneaky and oh so cunning.... your timing couldn't have been more perfect because I was about to......
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The millions of troopers didn't even listen as the opened fire at once at the real, bona fide, true as blue man and killed him, this time it wasn't a hologram.
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"Dead, finished, gonzo"
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The troopers aim at leia...
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They fire she falls to the ground . dead without a doubt no hallucinations.. silence reined strong .......The battle was over and so the final curtain draws closed the crowd stands on their feet and applaud the curtains draw back for a second bow.. It is finally over!!!
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Hee Hee, just kidding on that folks, in fact, Luke came in at the last moment and saved her.
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from the incinerator and instead buried her somewhere away from peering eyes and oglers!
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But the death star takes off again to the skies and focuses it's eye on luke.
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Thinking quickly, Luke throws sand in the Death star's eye.
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The Death Star cries out in pain but with no hands to rub the sand out of it's eye, the troopers must do the job, and are distracted.
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We interrupt this message for a small commercial break. Milky Way, the chocolate bar of the Galaxy!
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lol....lol...lol......ooh SORRY! hee hee AND ME FAVORITE..lol
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Stay tuned as we preview tomorrows next episode for "Lost In Space Forum"
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HEE HEE I will tune in for that one.. I loved that! NOw Wheres that luke when you need em! LOL
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Now back to the show, already in progress.
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The death star still hovering just in the distance seems stunned , but only temporarily when all of a sudden.....
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It blew up! leaving a small weapon dubbed the sun crusher! needless to say...
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There was no time to spare they had to react quickly in order to ......
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make sure the chicken salad didnt go off!
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(yeah! Jolly's back on! How's it goin?)
It was up to Jar Jar Binks to ensure that didn't happen, but...
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He was severly wounded from a grenade blast, he was near death. [:-'(]
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when the princess passed on some really cool healing Luff that gave him just the right amount of motivation to self heal and come to the aid of his friends after shaking off the ...
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Shotgun troopers chasing him.
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Everything was totally shaken up by the commotion of the moments when young.......
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Young and the Restless music sounds in the background as Luke scoops Laura up in his arms....scratch that it is General Hospital....LOL Wrong Luke wrong show....switching the channel back for your enjoyment of young YODA returns with an orange throttling Jar Jar with it.
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"Stop telling knock knock jokes" he screams as leia hits him on the head repeatedly with a mango, captin walls laughting, decides to throw a few donna kebabs at them,
in the middle of the throw mr hedgehog dons his vote for pedro t`shirt, grabs his ore and......
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Knock knock!
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"Whos's there?"
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banana (lol)
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Banana who?
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Before the joke can finish, the troopers interrupt and blast away Jar Jar, the only hope for the galaxy.
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Slimey slippery banana like substance splatters across the whole......
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Troop of troopers who eat it.
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Then begin retching all over the place divulging Jar jars brilliant scheme to poison all of the troopers and win even in the face of his demise! LOL HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
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Suddenly out of the night sky a bright light moving faster than the speed of a man running to the loo after eating a dodgy curry
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shot across the sky in front of them.. illuminating all of the ............
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Honey monsters from the planet Zarg who had just arrived for there annual
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inspection of the lovely swarms and conditions of their positive output to their supply of Honey! LOL...
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Meanwhile sitting at home watching his favorite episode of cheers, Luke floorcleaner had a moment of pure inspiration,
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and we interrupt this moment for a commercial break....
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He could get a lot better deal on alien.........
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DAMN I HATE COMMERCIALS.
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We return back to Star Wars on another planet and possibly another era???
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Ok Hans! Where did you hide my teeth this time you old fart? says Leah as she fumbles around the nightstand next to the bed in search of the toof cup!!!! LOL
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Luke bravley fends off the Zarg with his mop which he dipped in fast drying concrete, "That's gotta hurt!" Says the captain.
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But then an alien snake comes down and swallosws the weapon.
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Of course being indigestible, the thing gets stuck inside the snake and after many days the snakes venomous body explodes leaving a trail of green slime behind as a reminder of his ever evil presence
among the galaxies!
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Meanwhile Zarg junior the stunted evil side kick and twin brother of zarg major was pondering what his next move should be and of course with him being only 2 inches tall .............
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it was hard to see him behind jar jar binks.
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doing anything that would help or give aid to the cause....
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we interrupt this broadcast for a breaking news story...
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There is a new gal on the scene!
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Who is kidnapping Jar Jar Binks from the galaxy
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The troopers blast her and rescue Jar Jar, back to Zarg.
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Soon All of Zarg was cheering knowing that Jar jar......
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will save the day with his courageous self
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YAYYYYYYYY!! They cheered and shouted as the very humble jar jar approached the.......
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edge of the universe.
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Secretly There were some who wished for him to be lost and there was contention amongst the crowds a few anti Jar jar fans began to increase their disapproval of this crowds .....
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Hold up, wait a minute! It is just me being jar jar binks! LOL
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"Riot squad to the edge of the universe! There's a huge fight down there!"
"Roger that, on our way."
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suddenly, a black hole appears out of nowhere, swallowes up the riot squad, and dissappeares. sadly, jar jar is ultimately...
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crying. LOL
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Then torn apart by hatas. [:-'(] [:-'(]
Which pisses off the Jar Jar likas even more and makes an even huger fight which spans the galaxy.
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LOL
He decides to throw oranges at the aliens as it
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kills them. But has no affect against the humans hatas and likas.
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Oh my the battle rages on and meanwhile in a galaxy far far away.....
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A little boy called star was looking into his crystal ball which he bought for a buck and noticed that if he placed both of his hands on the ball and closed his eyes he could........
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bring Galaxy Peace back to the Universe
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And once again the world would be completely and utterly in a state of.......
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shock.
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Meanwhile back on board the facon the rest of the ......
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crew and the last surviving members of Humanitys attempt to rid the universe of....
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the evil Vaders..remaining influence over the entire population of.......
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Jar jar land ,who's people have all fallen in to a hypnotic trance after watching vader do the dance of the mystic moonfire whilst he sang the song of the......
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Meandering lost sheepy!
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*slaps forehead*
Meanwhile millions die in the riot until Riot-Bot 92 (3 billion cool points for that reference) code named "Ben" moves in and stops a large portion of the galaxy from rioting, but there are still more portions.
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There are pockets of rioting happening in places like slime planet and .......
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Maryland.
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Also in distant galaxies there are people running for shelter in other places seeking asylum from the relentless....
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gorgantic galaxy snake which functions in
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three dimensional combat mode, and even for being computer generated, can cause quite the upheaval when placed in a location of already high controversial antagonism!
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Do you hear that?
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There was silence for the first time in ten decades....
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Maryland combat cruiser rolled in toward the noise.
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It was soft at first then suddenly there was a crashing sound coming from high atop the .........
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Cream cornetto. Jar jar danced around it and others of an equal social grouping sat happily in family units- to the tune of......
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" If you just Smile!"
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Mean while back on the giant M&M shaped planet destroying space station formerly known as deathstar, Vader........
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Lies in wait plotting what diabolic skeme he should use to get finally capture the millinium in its final voyage away from the home planet!!!! LOL
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Sitting in his hammok and polishing his helmet he notices......
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Luke having a party...and not inviting him!
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Well if that didn't just make the whole situation.......
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Explode in........
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a pool of jelly
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Ordering his maid to clean it up he says......
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Thou art a villian....... where's my banana split
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ANd make sure it has real whipped cream!!!
-
Ohhh ohhh More cream, He says grabbing......
-
desperately at maid in an attempt to procure his desired need by impressing upon her the urgency of want of real whipped cream!!!
-
and shaking her violently, and shouting about the cream, he notices......
-
That right byond her on the table sat many bowls of real whipped cream oozing creamy goodness from the rims, he released his grip upon the young women and immediately focussed his attentions on the table.....
-
Within a single bound he was upon the table with whipped cream all over his face........
-
He was as a crazed mad dog so engaged in the moment of sheer pleasure that he did not even notice when the.......
-
maid stole his helmit, in an act of revenge for the shaking incident, she....
-
RAn swiftly out of his reach and his overpowering erge for the whipped cream had such a grip on his mind and body that he forgot how important wearing that helmet was to his own Identity!
-
suddenly a hologram of the emperor apeared in the corner of the room ´Vader where is your helmet?´ Vader desperately wiping wiped cream from his face and eyes says´.......
-
My Helmet ,, That sneaky maid must have made off with it now I must make her pay.........
-
!....I´ll just finish the cream off first´ and going back towards the table his eyes getting bigger!!! The emperor says ´VADER!.......
-
What is wrong with you ... To let a maid lure you with such sinfully delicious.....lovely...........OH Let me in there ... You shall do it now.....! Be off with you and do not return until you have reclaimed the helmet once again and regained your composure returning to the more acceptable Dark side!
-
Mean while JAR JAR.......
-
has his head stuck in a small unusually shaped........
-
hat, the lady thought about......
-
Quickly adding some super glue around the brim so that his incessant chattering could become a muffled hum beneath the the hat encouraging a greater harmony amongst the........
-
the Jedi council
-
who were all engaged in a game of........
-
laser tag....chasing each other around the council room and yelling obscenities at each other, whilst....
-
the cabbage people, invaded the local.......
-
Farmers market to monopolize the cabbage stands and make sure that all the .....
-
Cornnetos were......
-
Where they were supposed to be! (*whispering* What are cornnetos? )
-
when the pizza wookie came in
-
The Jedi Council fell silent and began to drool and salivate over the smells emanating from the delivery enclosure which the wookie so casually had balanced on his shoulder as he entered the council room to...
-
to warn the jedi council of the dangers of anchovies and what they do to thier understanding of the force
-
. Suddenly he was overcome by council members piling over him in attempts to remove the contents of the box.. There was a crazed look in the council members eyes as each one ripped at the contents of the now destroyed enclosure. Deepening moans of pleasure filled the room as they devoured the...
-
poisoned anchovie, pineapple, and blue cheese pizza,
-
( we should send this to george lucas )
-
( we should send this to George Lucas )
LOL LOL!
Soon all that was heard was the quiet moans from the council as they drifted off into an intoxicated poison stupor which rendered them unconscious and without the power of the force to ......
-
speed dial QVC for that great towel collection with the pictures of....
-
My Super hero's!
-
Obi One Eye asked his Kin, Can you feel the force.....Kin?
-
Oh Yes indeed the force is strong in this one!
-
as he was on the toilet
-
Jabba the hut.....
-
freezing c-3po in carbonite
-
declared that it was time to unfreeze Hans and allow him to.....
-
boogy!
-
YAYYYYYYYYYY!
-
The jawa terrorists blew up Mos Eisley,
-
which doomed the land of no Jolly :) into the longest period spontaneous laughter ever experienced by
-
a solitary earthworm
-
. full stop.
-
said general grevious commanding the star destroyer
-
the general had been weeping for days because the kitchen unit he had built, had a hole in the corner, which was just big enough for a.....
-
rodent to pass through and begin nesting!
-
Sequites appeared and blew up Taco Bell with a shotgun!!!111!1!11!!!11!
-
and that solitary earthworm just....
-
diedd!11!!111111@!!1211!
-
NO rest for the weary the the ship sped on into the darkness leaving a trail of.......
-
banana pudding
-
which was handy because...
-
It glowed in the dark and the darkness was becoming more prevalent as the stars began to burn out in the atmosphere around the.......
-
revolvers blazing away at Thugs! Fist fight! Fist fight!
-
suddenly someone pulls out a blaster rifle
-
which everyone stops to look at how impressive it is, when a giant.....
-
marshmallow terrorizes..
-
..a viewer at home.
Meanwhile, deep in space, a......
-
foo fighter
-
Is having a go round with a gigantic.....
-
salt shaker
-
'Pizza hut have out done themselves' he thinks, when suddenly.....
-
an explosion!
-
AND OUT POPS
-
A small, wrinkled, dwarf sized being, which reeked of old burned weed, and wore layered, tattered garments, which draped crisply, over his small, boxy structure as it moved closer to......
-
the toilet
-
it began to make the most obnoxious sounds that echoed through the air, and permeated nostrils for ten miles around, debilitating all those who ........
-
Had inhaled to deeply at the annual i failed to wash for a year contest. Paramedics who attended the scence reported that
-
He was the smelliest creature that had entered the contest since our own sheepy took 1rst place the last ten years previous....whilst no other could come close in odor as well as in......
-
a cave .when george lucas jumps out from nowhere and says....
-
Gee wiz Batman, thats so simple! Thats right Robin.
George then put down his batman script, dusted himself off and remarked "how strange life ......
-
can be when someone is making a never ending parody of my most successful movies
-
then just as he thought about re-editing them all again, he suddenly.....
-
got eaten by a giant squid............and died!
-
OH
-
Said the son of George wen notified of his dad death. I MUST GET REVENGE ,I MUST ......
-
eat calamari!
-
Then the squid coughed him up alive, apologises to the son and to George saying
"Sorry been a bad week, thought you were someone else, can't for the life of me remember who...errrr.... please don't reedit the originals again, I had the whole film memorized and you ruined it for me, not that that really matters, I mean, I'm just a squid"
Back on the giant planet destroying M.N.M formerly known as death star.....
-
the
-
.......headlice epidemic had got out of control and all residents had to stay in and treat their hair with some really nasty chemicals, which really went against their green credentials. Suddenly......
-
The cabbage people....
-
became enraged and their bitter bits began to......
-
burn
-
Not knowing where to look, mr hedgehog.....
-
began tipping the mushrooms and checking for......
-
mutant slugs.....
-
Which may have taken refuge beneath the giant toadstools which covered the ground around the........
-
........Eiffel Tower. Suddenly Mr Hedgehog was distracted by a loud whirring noise coming from the sky. "Oh no!" exclaimed Mr Hedgehog, (the slugs weren't the only mutants around you see) "It's.................
-
The mutant buzzards hovering up over the tower waiting for a chance to swoop down on the mutant slugs!
-
With all the energy he could muster, Mr Hedgehog launched himself into the air, and began to fly (yes he can. He's a mutant remember) straight for the lead buzzard . It was obvious to all onlookers that neither would back down. On they flew until in a mighty crash they hit each other. The gathered throng below were covered in a shower of feathers and spines, but where had the rest of them gone?...................
-
suddenly they had all disappeared as if they had vanished into thin air! A quiet silence fell down over the air and a chill ran up mr. hedgehogs......
-
.....spine!....- but which one?.........
-
He always had a sense of danger which he detected quite often and it seemed he was seldom wrong! he felt it in his....
-
toe. Suddenly it dawned on him as the morning sun rose in the distance
-
That his toe was warning him that there was danger in the air and just as he turned to admire the sunrise he suddenly caught a glimpse of.......
-
the other woman! DUR DUR DER!!!!
-
splat
-
........went Mr Hedgehog as the ten ton truck rolled over his little spikey body. His toe was obviously not infallible. Meanwhile Luke Skywalker was just getting up on the other side of Paris. He had his breakfast, showered, cleaned his teeth and texted Obi about their meeting. Admiring his reconditioned light sabre he strode along the champs elysee and suddenly........
-
sonic the hedgehog runs over obi lokking for the golden ring
-
"could you please talk to your cousin" said Luke, Mr Hedgehog looked at the ground, remembering the last time sonic.......
-
burned.
-
obi wans hair
-
right off......
-
The bat was saturated with flakes of ash spraying from......
-
the AFLAC duck
-
You wouldn't believe the scene , it was horrendous and squeels of shocked and disgusted cries filled the air!
-
on the planet
-
Neptune, a small gathering of evil alien reptilians were planing........
-
something very
-
Devious for all the inhabitants of.......
-
ghytp
-
...they were going to pinch them very hard.........yeah....and then say nasty things about their mums......
-
The plot was thickening and so was the ooze that was building up around......
-
ghytp
-
"Could we sell that ooze?" Asked luke, to mr Hedgehog
-
I am not sure , perhaps if we market it right then maybe........
-
.........we can take over the world!
-
muhahahahahahahahahahahahah!
-
"Mr hedgehog you have a wonderful laugh for panto" gasped Luke in admiration..
-
Mr Hedge turned and gave a very rare grin back at luke showing some seldom seen delight in his own humor!
-
Han said, "chewy, how can you do that and still carry on walking ?"
-
Chewy Grunted and tossed his head about and sent a disgruntled sound forward that denoted such disapprovel at the question!
-
"Oh..... it's just something to do with forces" replied Chewy cryptically, "It's not that difficult" he added, "you should try it for yourself Han...............Oh my God I'm talking!"
-
"see chewy, i told you the strepsils would work " said Han !
-
A silence filled the air while Chewy contemplated the situation when suddenly.....
-
R2 said " beep, squeak, ping beep beep ding ! [:o]
-
They all looked around and then a roll of laughter filled the air as luke says well excuse you!!!!
-
"someone give that robot a strepsil" said Han. Chewy dug deep into his pockets- yes he as pockets- and passed a strepsil to R2D2. "Here you are" he chortled magnanimously," I love you so much I'll let you have my last one!" The diminutive robot flushed a deep shade of pink while taking the lozenge and popping it into his slot........
-
and analyzing its properties before.......
-
spitting it out and claiming (in robot language still) that he is not allowed carbs after 6pm.
-
Which as always led to C3PO starting an argument
-
About why in the world they ever gave him the need to eat!!!
-
Just then a giant biscuit.....
-
landed in front of them...eyes darted to and fro...everyone stood still as if it were a bomb ready to go off when......
-
the biscuitnator walked into the room, suddenly....
-
There was a scramble of feet and machinery clanking together and the biscuit could be seen skidding in between hands and machinery as they all dove for the lone biscuit!
-
"I got it, I got it!" Screamed.....
-
a passing storm-trooper who was harbouring a cunning plan to sell it on Ebay...
-
"God, they'll buy anything these days" says......
-
Hans as he picks himself up and lands square on the trooper skillfully removing the biscuit from his grip and stashing it in his jacket! The trooper falls to the floor and chewy lands square on him knocking him out cold...Hans snickers as e mumbles; this thing can pay for fuel up when we get through that black hole.....
-
"Another blackhole?" asks Mr hedgehog "look I'll except the biscuit fight but, going in and out of black holes every five minutes is just too much"
Chewy stares at him "Fine.... where's the ore" Says Mr hedgehog; Mumbling under his breath he kept thinking about.....
-
seahorses from the magical city of Atlantis bouncing up and down on flaming pogo-sticks from hell.
-
What a thought.... he shakes his head in bewilderment at the thought, that his mind has been full of seahorse images now for the last twelve passes through Black holes and he is now becoming agitated by......
-
green sludge, "Quick, barricade the windows" demands Mr hedgehog "the sludge! Its comming, we gotta stop it. The sludge, the sludge!" he Cries seeing.......
-
Han remove the treasured biscuit from his pocket and hurl it towards the sludge. "Take this green stuff" he yells at the top of his voice, "Feel this baby's slime absorbing properties...."
-
He chuckles as he remembers watching last nights episode of Doc. who! lol
-
gotta love the doctor
-
He keeps things exciting....and it sure come in handy today dealing with the
sludge!
-
Then
-
without the slightest sound the sludge was absorbed into the........
-
one called Mr. Hedgehog....
-
History was altered and a new rein of power would now begin!
-
so
-
Without a moments delay Life took a turn.....
-
for the worse........
-
and
-
every one fell prey to the new regime!
-
so
-
in the end all was.....
-
sludge
-
like and very dark around......
-
the bottom of.......
-
endless pit of Tar!
-
Which was nice.
-
"death to sludge and Jar jar binks" say Mr hedgehog after sucking all up sludge with a giant straw he found in...
-
and simultaneously remarking that he was amazed that the Star Wars thread on the Naked Scientists website was still alive and kicking...
-
The force is strong with this one, replies one of the other chapters that hasnt got a name yet,
"Well it's kicking" says Walls "but I'm not sure it's...." "ALIVE! ALIVE!" Says Mr Hedgehog Looking at a Copperfield Beige-Grau Links Walnuss Sofa.
"Ok living Sofas isnt really going to move the story along much" replies that guy in blue that hasnt got a name yet and is clearly gonna be cannon fodder at some point "Really!?" With a shocked and rather bemused look Says guy in blue that hasnt got a name yet and is clearly gonna be cannon fodder at some point "I always thought a living Copperfield Beige-Grau Links Walnuss Sofa, inside a giant flying space lolly could do wonders for a story line. I mean there was this one time me and and a seven headed space wombat were...."
-
out shopping and....
(Note to everyone let him finish the story [;)], he doesnt even have a name and he wears blue)
-
bought a copy of elite Dangerous, which he'd heard was quite good...
-
and interesting because...
-
-
IT BEGAN ANOTHER ADVENTURE BUT THIS TIME ON THE PLANET MERCURY.....WITH A LEGEND THAT MOST MERCURIANS REFERRED TO AS MERCURY BLUE. HE WAS QUITE A SKILLED SOLDIER AND ALSO WELL TRAINED JEDI whom had been secretly introduced to Yoda's very intense training as a young Mercurian who was left in Yoda's capable hands as a 10 day old citizen......Mercurians were quite an advanced culture and they aged 10 years for every day for the first 3 days of their life...and thereafter equally to our aging process making Mercury Blue 30 years and 7 days old, with differences in physical skills, and abilities that were unique to Mecurians, making Mercury Blue a very special pupil in Training, and also for Yoda a son he had always wished to partner up with Luke....The intense training began with yoda teaching the young Mercury Blue how to use his special gift of.........
-
Sucking jelly through a straw, that he had always been unsure he wanted to combine with...
-
While blowing up party balloons with his nose As he could pop his plugged up ears as the ship gained altitude exiting the space between the two planets..............
-
While blowing up party balloons with his nose As he could pop his plugged up ears as the ship gained altitude exiting the space between the two planets..............
"Arr look its baby Yoda" said.mr hedgehog. "He should be careful the cabbage people like to stalk this area between two plants, that's why...
-
"Why nothing!" Says someone else not yet named, "according to the relative banana theory cabbage people are so fat they bend the space time around them and cant see two feet in front of them, but dont to close they might eat you" more concerning is...
-
That baby Grogru will eat most anything when he is hunger.. The other day He was seen devouring a very...........
-
I can add one word: NONSENSE, but then again I admit to being an old grump.
-
That's why its a story in Just chat.. Just fun..