Naked Science Forum
General Discussion & Feedback => Just Chat! => Topic started by: John Chapman on 09/08/2009 09:03:00
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A funny thing happened to me a few weeks ago.
I was on a main road to Chester and, about a mile from one of the main residential areas I passed a young guy dragging a broken pushbike behind him. Both wheels were badly buckled, the handlebars were twisted and the lad looked a little bit distressed. I wondered if maybe he’d been hit by a car and imagined him spending the next hour dragging the bike home. So I stopped the van and offered to chuck the bike in the back and give him a lift. He gratefully accepted.
Now I’ve always been extremely bad with names but I think he might have said his name was Norman. Norman Bates. Anyway, he got in the van and I asked him what had happened to his bike. This is what he told me:
Norman was on his way to an interview for a driving job. Apparently, his faithful old pushbike had become jealous and upset with Norman’s obvious lack of loyalty and, on the way, had started to mock him and call him names. Stoically, Norman ignored the bike and continued on his way until eventually the bike began to deliberately wobble and swerve uncontrollably in an effort to prevent him from reaching his destination. Finally, the lad could take no more. He got off his bike and gave it a bloody good kicking. Moments later Muggins, here, pulled up and offered him a lift.
I was unsure how to react to this story, which was told with complete innocence and sincerity. Not being able to think of anything else to say I asked “What did the bike say after that?”
“Funnily enough” Norman answered, “the bike has been strangely silent since I kicked it.”
“You don’t think you killed it?” I ventured, perhaps a little flippantly
Suddenly he became angry. He turned to me and hissed
“Are you taking the piss? It’s a bleedin’ BIKE!”
Needless to say we both continued the rest of our journey in silence. Fortunately my van also refrained from making any comment.
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Ah, that little anecdote has made my day [;D]
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Actually, I say we travelled the rest of the way in silence. At one point the silence was broken when out of the blue he suddenly said
“What did you say?”
I replied “Eh?” to make sure that, whatever he heard, he knew it wasn’t me.
“Oh, nothing” he said. And back to silence.
I don’t know what, or who, he heard. But I was thankful the whole trip only lasted about 5 minutes. Thank god he wasn’t hitchhiking the length of the country with me!
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Perhaps it was the bike that did all the talking in the first place !
It could have been one of those very rare mind control masochistic ventriloquist bikes !
It happens ewe know !
That was very decent of ewe to pick them both up though John !
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Sounds like your good intention landed you with a right little Master Bates!
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OOOOH)))))))))) O0000000H ))) 0000000000000000h))))))))LOL...Scary business picking up strangers these days.. I gave a fellow a ride couple years ago and by the time we reached the 4 mile point I was really scared I had picked him up and when I pulled off to let him out where I was going to turn off,.. He refused to get out so being on the freeway I grabbed my keys and jumped out myself and stood out and began flagging cars down.... thank goodness he got out and started around to myside and I got back in and locked the doors and drove off... I have not done that since! It used to be a lot safer then it is these days so now I am very cautios and do not offer unless I know the people hitchhiking and then I just take them all the way to their destination for fear the wrong driver may pick them up and hurt them! Spooky sometimes really cause you never know!
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Wow, Karen. I remember that. That was me! [:o]
Seriously though, sounds like your nutter beats mine. You were lucky.
So I've been out-nuttered by Karen. Has anyone else met a stranger or scarier person?
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uh oh!! LOL What...? whatcha go and do that for John! Scared me to
death! LOL.....
Lots of those people out there these days both male and female!
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Has anyone else met a stranger or scarier person?
Not yet, but i fully intend to go and see doc beaver soon ! [::)]
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Has anyone else met a stranger or scarier person?
Not yet, but i fully intend to go and see doc beaver soon ! [::)]
I hear bourbon biscuits usually soothes the savage beaver!
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I hear bourbon biscuits usually soothes the savage beaver
I shall take an industrial packet with me, as the amount off pee taking he has endured from me in the last few years, im sure he will do a "pete townsend" and whack me with an old guitar !
Thank you for the tip, Variola [;)]