[Don_1]

You mean grimm tails? Will we ever get away from dinosaurs, alligators, and crocodiles?

Here's a rather grim tail:


Doh! Its a Stegosaurus, so sorry chaps. I just di no what came over me.

[Don_1]

My wife asked me to remove a picture from over the fireplace.

It was an off-the-wall remark.

Had she asked you to replace it with a whiteboard, that would have been truly remarkable

[Variola]

Hmmm....

You have missed my intellectual input haven't you? 

[demografx (OP)]

Hmmm....

You have missed my intellectual input haven't you? 

Variola, you leave me speechless.

And breathless.

Great balls of fire!

[demografx (OP)]

My wife asked me to remove a picture from over the fireplace.

It was an off-the-wall remark.

Had she asked you to replace it with a whiteboard, that would have been truly remarkable

[demografx (OP)]

Wotta beauty!!

[demografx (OP)]

Will we ever get away from dinosaurs, alligators, and crocodiles?

Not all the while you, Jimbob and Don are on here... 

[demografx (OP)]

I have developed a habit of drinking brake fluid, but I should be able to stop at any time.

A man of your caliper will never brake the habit.

[Don_1]

A man of your caliper will never brake the habit.

American English version
What are you? Some sort of hood?

Queen's English version
What are you? Some sort of bonnet?

Hmmm, that doesn't work, does it. Gimme a brake, I'll pad out this post a little.

I asked my Jewish friend for his opinion. He looked me in the eye, then Manny folded his arms and said, "Consumption of that stuff wont do you any good. You'll soon become exhausted." I asked if he thought it might do me harm and he replied, "I di no, sores*** could develop on your lips which might be wheely uncomfortable."

I'm wheely clutching at straws here.

Queen's English version
His Wife, is a right old boot.

American English version
His wife is a right old trunk.

Now see how the American English version is so proboscistuous. Heaven nose why.

She wears some far out gear and had bought a pair of socks which were the wrong size for her, so was giving them to my wife. "Ah yes," I said, "diesel fitt 'er."


*** Who let the dinosaurs back in? I'll throttle him. Could have been that used car dealer Ed. Ed sel's some right old lemons.

[Don_1]

American English version

Its a gas, isn't it.

Queen's English version

Its a petrol, isn't it.


Please don't give me the bird over that one.

[Hadrian]

How's the crack.... (Ireland fun)

what the quality of the drugs like man.......(USA)

 ^

[demografx (OP)]

I'm wheely clutching at straws here.

[demografx (OP)]

How's the crack.... (Ireland fun)

what the quality of the drugs like man.......(USA)

 ^

On my last airline flight, I was curious about our climbing altitude, so I asked the pilot how high he would get.

The pilot replied, 'I don't do drugs.'

[demografx (OP)]

A man of your caliper will never brake the habit.

American English version
What are you? Some sort of hood?

Queen's English version
What are you? Some sort of bonnet?

Hmmm, that doesn't work, does it. Gimme a brake, I'll pad out this post a little.

I asked my Jewish friend for his opinion. He looked me in the eye, then Manny folded his arms and said, "Consumption of that stuff wont do you any good. You'll soon become exhausted." I asked if he thought it might do me harm and he replied, "I di no, sores*** could develop on your lips which might be wheely uncomfortable."

I'm wheely clutching at straws here.

Queen's English version
His Wife, is a right old boot.

American English version
His wife is a right old trunk.

Now see how the American English version is so proboscistuous. Heaven nose why.

She wears some far out gear and had bought a pair of socks which were the wrong size for her, so was giving them to my wife. "Ah yes," I said, "diesel fitt 'er."


*** Who let the dinosaurs back in? I'll throttle him. Could have been that used car dealer Ed. Ed sel's some right old lemons.

I wheely think Don_1 auto have this Award!

[demografx (OP)]

Please don't give me the bird over that one.

I'll just give you the crow.*

(Crow is a four-letter bird.)



*With hugs, of course

[Don_1]

I wheely think Don_1 auto have this Award!

Gosh! Another award. Can TNS afFord it? Let's not dodge the issue, if their bank account is anything like mine, it will be devoid of funds most of the time and the banks charger lot for an overdraft. How often I look at my statement and I chrys ler account has got vaux hall in it!

Just this morning I had to forego my morning cuppa because the caddy lacks tea bags. Breakfast was non existant too, no bread, no rice. I missed my usual rolls & royce Its enough to drive you round the benz. But I just cit roen my rocking chair out on the porsche watching volks as they wag on by. Like the young mum from a few doors away taking her kiddy to school. I'm kind of fhond a her.

Aye see, cobras isn't it. But I must 'ang on to every hope for the future.

By the way, re nault money, I am not begging here. That would be a cardinal sin.

(Explanation of this dubious pun:
Cardinal = Cardinal Wolsey = Cardinal Wolseley = Wolseley Motors.)

All rather austintacious isn't it. Mor risky than ever before. But I shall emerge triumphant, settle down and no more shall I be a rover.

Did I mention, the wife nearly bought me a BMW............

She bought me a BMX and said "On yer bike!"

[Don_1]

Please don't give me the bird over that one.

I'll just give you the crow.

(Crow is a four-letter bird.)

What are you raven on about?

[Don_1]

.............. I asked the pilot how high he would get.

The pilot replied, 'I don't do drugs.'

That was hardly the altitude to take was it!

[demografx (OP)]

I wheely think Don_1 auto have this Award!

Gosh! Another award. Can TNS afFord it? Let's not dodge the issue, if their bank account is anything like mine, it will be devoid of funds most of the time and the banks charger lot for an overdraft. How often I look at my statement and I chrys ler account has got vaux hall in it!

Just this morning I had to forego my morning cuppa because the caddy lacks tea bags. Breakfast was non existant too, no bread, no rice. I missed my usual rolls & royce Its enough to drive you round the benz. But I just cit roen my rocking chair out on the porsche watching volks as they wag on by. Like the young mum from a few doors away taking her kiddy to school. I'm kind of fhond a her.

Aye see, cobras isn't it. But I must 'ang on to every hope for the future.

By the way, re nault money, I am not begging here. That would be a cardinal sin.

(Explanation of this dubious pun:
Cardinal = Cardinal Wolsey = Cardinal Wolseley = Wolseley Motors.)

All rather austintacious isn't it. Mor risky than ever before. But I shall emerge triumphant, settle down and no more shall I be a rover.

Did I mention, the wife nearly bought me a BMW............

She bought me a BMX and said "On yer bike!"

Now T H I S  is a car punning post that will drive us all crazy. uh, I mean...to undreamed of heights!

VERY WELL DONE, DON_1!!!

[demografx (OP)]

WHAT??? Another DNA Day! This is blatant prejudice.

Stand up for the rites of RNA.

No clever remarks. Just pretty RNA pics.