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General Discussion & Feedback => Just Chat! => Topic started by: demografx on 18/05/2010 14:56:41

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/05/2010 14:56:41
First lesson of the day:

Writing with a broken pencil is pointless.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 18/05/2010 21:16:09
Second lesson

A castrated pig gets disgruntled
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 18/05/2010 21:17:08
Third Lesson

If your boyfriend goes out, get a match and light him again
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 18/05/2010 21:18:52
Fourth Lesson

My hairdresser isn't cutting hair any longer, she is cutting it shorter though.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: LeeE on 19/05/2010 13:05:56
If it's a funny old world, why isn't everyone laughing?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Bored chemist on 19/05/2010 19:19:06
If it's true that "you are what you eat" why are we not all new and improved?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/05/2010 23:50:33
                                                (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.met.police.uk%2Fimages%2Fhomepage%2FNSYsign.jpg&hash=e34fd1ac5294db7be879fcf160d69ae3)

Thieves broke into New Scotland Yard last night and stole all the toilet bowls.

A police spokesman said that they have nothing to go on.

         (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fblog.alpscontrols.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F10%2Ftoilet_bowls_waterfall.jpg&hash=6acc47a6dd1f646fddf2b0fd171eebb2)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 20/05/2010 20:48:28
A big hole has developed onthe M3. Police are looking into it!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 20/05/2010 20:50:12
A man who stole a hold all in an airport asked for three other cases to be taken into consideration.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/05/2010 06:48:43
You gotta be careful of corn at night. They can be early creepy with their husky voices and seedy appearance. Why, they even cob right out and tell you to shuck it right to your face.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: LeeE on 21/05/2010 16:14:45
Latest news: Elevator sent down in controversial court case!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 22/05/2010 04:00:54
With hindsight, I could have been a proctologist.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 22/05/2010 04:16:50
Does dark matter?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 22/05/2010 04:24:59
If a door can be ajar, why can't a jar be a door?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 23/05/2010 00:38:19
If a door can be ajar, why can't a jar be a door?

Because most of us are scotched by that type of pun
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/05/2010 07:10:52

Scotched you say? She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/05/2010 07:16:23

With hindsight, I could have been a proctologist.


And with foresight??
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 24/05/2010 08:19:36

Scotched you say? She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.


That reminds me of another one.

"She was only an Admiral's daughter, but WOOP WOOP CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED WOOP WOOP"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/05/2010 20:20:23

She was only an Admiral's daughter...


She was only a statistician's daughter, but she knew all the standard deviations.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Bored chemist on 24/05/2010 20:58:36
...telegraphist's daughter... did dit dit dit
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/05/2010 21:08:52

...clergyman's daughter...you couldn't put anything pastor.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/05/2010 21:58:44


A big hole has developed on the M3. Police are looking into it!


Similarly, a hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.

The police are looking into it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 29/05/2010 02:41:00

...clergyman's daughter...you couldn't put anything pastor.

Could you past 'er the peas?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/05/2010 06:43:20
                         (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi287.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fll149%2Fimflitterhead%2FAsaultwithweapon.jpg&hash=e781102e44f72ac2dae9da80f2eca3fb)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/05/2010 03:28:31

                     (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.edwardconti.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F10%2Fpun.jpg&hash=aec824cbd21ea087606381b466c54415)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 30/05/2010 09:34:39
OK - you asked for it.

"Irish stew in the name of the law!"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/05/2010 01:53:17

Yup we asked for it, we got it. Your turn:

"Latin me in would be a nice idea."
 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 02/06/2010 03:50:56
Noun there, boys, get a grip.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/06/2010 04:43:03

Noun? We can't get a grip, it's VERBoten here!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Bored chemist on 02/06/2010 10:43:07
I decline to comment.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/06/2010 04:14:32

Oh c'mon, we all know you can ascent to it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/06/2010 04:35:10
Knock Knock
Who's there
Diesel !
Diesel who ?
Diesel teach me to start punning threads.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/06/2010 23:58:26
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 04/06/2010 02:40:45
Doggone it, Pavlov does - but WHY?

(And I can't keep my tongue in my cheek on this one, either.)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 04/06/2010 03:11:42
Pavlov was a dead ringer for his brother.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/06/2010 03:55:02
                             (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)

                          "Doggone drooling brother!"



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 04/06/2010 21:35:00
Better a drooling brother than a ruling other!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/06/2010 02:14:37

My vote, so far, goes to Geezer for his Proctology Pun. He certainly doesn't make an ass of himself!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.localmouth.com%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2008%2F10%2Fistock_000003721276xsmall.jpg&hash=34bb948422582bf8cd177f435ba8cb61)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/06/2010 02:25:26

Better a drooling brother than a ruling other!


This reminds me of a very cruel ruler called Pun-ara.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 06/06/2010 00:04:41
or a ruling udder around the house - why I am still a bachelor
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/06/2010 02:56:21

Hey, no fair, that's hitting below the bleat!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 06/06/2010 04:31:00
If your math teacher is Miss McClain, would her tests include some Miss McClaineous questions?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 06/06/2010 05:22:58
Lest we forget, there is also that old musical number,

"We're Sliding a Gong on the Breast of a Slave."

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/06/2010 19:12:34

If your math teacher is Miss McClain, would her tests include some Miss McClaineous questions?


Yes, but those questions are graded separately by assorted teacher-aides scattered about here and there.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/06/2010 19:26:01

                             (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dalegrimshaw.com%2Fimages%2FDaleGrimshaw_Exorcism2.jpg&hash=6a028b5120781b359ec7574ea0e632c2)

             If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed!



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: geo driver on 06/06/2010 21:05:23
there is a difference between
merci beaucoup

and

merci beau cue
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: geo driver on 06/06/2010 21:06:31
both pronounced .... roughly the same

can any one tell me what they meen, its got me into trouble b4 with the wife.  however a deep fryed mars to anyone who gets it

and io hope punning in a different language was permitted? [:I]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: LeeE on 06/06/2010 21:16:38
demografx: very nice pic indeed.

I hadn't heard of Dale Grimshaw before, so thanks for posting it.

It really reminds me of some of the stuff that Bill Sienkiewicz has done though, and that was my first thought upon seeing it.

However, DG's name has registered now, so I'll look out for more of his work.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/06/2010 20:53:54

                             (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F4986-Pirate-With-Missing-Teeth-Hook-Hand-Holding-A-Knife-And-A-Wooden-Leg-Clipart.jpg&hash=65f85d5f14ca752f5ff746817b3fa441)


        She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 08/06/2010 23:42:29

                             (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F4986-Pirate-With-Missing-Teeth-Hook-Hand-Holding-A-Knife-And-A-Wooden-Leg-Clipart.jpg&hash=65f85d5f14ca752f5ff746817b3fa441)


        She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.


Surely that's a matter of a pinion?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/06/2010 00:56:42
                             (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F4986-Pirate-With-Missing-Teeth-Hook-Hand-Holding-A-Knife-And-A-Wooden-Leg-Clipart.jpg&hash=65f85d5f14ca752f5ff746817b3fa441)

        She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.


Surely that's a matter of a pinion?


Well, as a next STEP, I suppose that we could go get your proctologist's assessment.
 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 09/06/2010 01:00:15
But a pinions are like arse holes - everyone has one.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/06/2010 01:09:09

And everyone thinks everyone else's stinks.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 09/06/2010 01:13:30
Some people have several.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/06/2010 01:34:26

                     (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.picturestore.com.au%2Fimages%2Fproducts%2Fmedium%2FLPI1%2FBN22686_31.jpg&hash=b0fbe7c8707081ecc08d667156750f15)

         When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: geo driver on 09/06/2010 05:57:53
demo good pic looks the the galreys l'afiette
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 09/06/2010 06:04:11

When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.


Which only goes to show,

"It's a mall World after all."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/06/2010 22:56:58

                       (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F_OO7WbmARD08%2FSSQ2x7pyDRI%2FAAAAAAAAJeI%2F2dVt5g_6Jug%2Fs400%2Fwalt%2Bsmall%2Bworld.jpg&hash=9b8b1438bc932cea562c29e1c7f54d04)

                         It's a small world after Walt.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/06/2010 16:59:24

                       (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fphotos.igougo.com%2Fimages%2Fp318292-Paris-Bridge_on_the_Seine.jpg&hash=8ab4aaec1e73d124803d8805931d83f0)


                       If you jump off a Paris bridge, you're in Seine.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: geo driver on 10/06/2010 22:24:57
or drunk and Parisletic
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: geo driver on 10/06/2010 22:31:00
charles de gaulle etoile at night, the parisians saw the dark de triumph
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 11/06/2010 06:25:29
charles de gaulle etoile at night, the parisians saw the dark de triumph

Did he take his lawnmower there to coup de grace?

Isn't the "dark de triumph" the motorbike Batman rides?

and if that wasn't punishing enough

(drum roll)

http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=32020.msg312324#msg312324
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 11/06/2010 17:17:29
With those types of remarks in the last post, would someone please like to recommend a PUNishment for Greezer?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 11/06/2010 19:15:53
With those types of remarks in the last post, would someone please like to recommend a PUNishment for Greezer?

Hey! If you thought that was bad, try this:

Would a Pièce de résistance be the same as 1 Ω ?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/06/2010 01:45:10


With those types of remarks in the last post, would someone please like to recommend a PUNishment for Greezer?


I looked through the Punning Thread Criminal Code and found no punalty where the punishment fits the crime. Lawnmowers and Batman rides are not punishable by Code. Thus decreed.

                    (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flyrics.smashits.com%2Fartwork%2Fa7%2Fa7114805eed19f5c3f5ec735bb1e202a.jpg&hash=34c6924893dd2110d0225988425be1fe)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/06/2010 02:06:11

One day Queen Elizabeth the First got so sick and tired of all the puns in Shakespeare's plays that she summoned him to her court.  "Master Shakespeare," she angrily said, "one more pun out of you, I'll have you hanged!"  He replied, "Your Majesty, does this mean you'll make me your poet lariat?"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/06/2010 02:18:19

                           (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ratebeer.com%2Fbeerimages%2F4911.gif&hash=e916af262bf383917253a3672380d2ca)

Thanks to geo driver for informing us of an appropriate beer to drink while contemplating jumping!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 12/06/2010 02:43:18


With those types of remarks in the last post, would someone please like to recommend a PUNishment for Greezer?


I looked through the Punning Thread Criminal Code and found no punalty where the punishment fits the crime. Lawnmowers and Batman rides are not punishable by Code. Thus decreed.

                    (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flyrics.smashits.com%2Fartwork%2Fa7%2Fa7114805eed19f5c3f5ec735bb1e202a.jpg&hash=34c6924893dd2110d0225988425be1fe)

I hope there would be no punitive damages.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 12/06/2010 02:55:50

One day Queen Elizabeth the First got so sick and tired of all the puns in Shakespeare's plays that she summoned him to her court.  "Master Shakespeare," she angrily said, "one more pun out of you, I'll have you hanged!"  He replied, "Your Majesty, does this mean you'll make me your poet lariat?"


You mean like John Bitumen (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Betjeman)?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/06/2010 04:43:33


I hope there would be no punitive damages.


None, unless you expressed some fairly pungent criticisms.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/06/2010 03:38:48

                      (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.keratoconustexas.com%2Fimages%2Fcontact-lenses.jpg&hash=8abe1679c82e1d13f5817f977039a902)

   Contacts are easy to lose, so keep your eyes on them
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 13/06/2010 05:18:10

Contacts are easy to lose, so keep your eyes on them


That's not really necessary as long as you keep in contact.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/06/2010 05:32:55

True, Geezer, being in touch is key. I do see that.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: geo driver on 13/06/2010 19:02:00
yep and i have brew many a beer like that.  well i was there brewer and now a manager
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/06/2010 21:11:57

geo driver, that is beery impressive!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/06/2010 21:19:51

                      (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fshambolicamalgam.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F03%2Flast-will-testament.jpg&hash=fc608eb4ed06e6b14ec6e3b0a1bbb609)

     What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 14/06/2010 04:29:43
and is the thing that holds the coffin together called a potlatch?

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potlatch for you Englisher's

1-1 tie!)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 15/06/2010 00:57:21
Ta da! (http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=32128.msg312576#msg312576)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/06/2010 03:53:20

Oh, you're just dying for attention. Drop the pretense.

                     (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.whimsicalcollective.org%2Fdjbalance%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F11%2FClipse_-_Till_The_Casket_Drops-300x300.jpg&hash=4e6e9c8b3ceafa52ac1f2033b11430a3)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 15/06/2010 18:04:12

Drop the pretense.


Shouldn't that be "future tense"?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/06/2010 22:33:16

Well, the future of entertainment might be in tents.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 16/06/2010 02:58:09
Tentatively, big tops might be the way to go.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/06/2010 05:45:49

What does Dolly Parton have to do with all this?

Oh, entertainment. Of course! Why didn't I see that?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 16/06/2010 06:21:41
You're right. Dolly has no part on this.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: geo driver on 16/06/2010 10:51:46
never been into sheep, too country side
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/06/2010 18:19:18

Then ewe don't know what you're bleating about.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/06/2010 18:26:36

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.india.rcuk.ac.uk%2FNR%2Frdonlyres%2F6C9EF5B8-0728-41EE-9CC6-21C36E59D959%2F2352%2Fdolly2.jpg&hash=1eae0193185e0b330a47c2c1dbc2d6ce)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.askmen.com%2Fgalleries%2Fsinger%2Fdolly-parton%2Fpictures%2Fdolly-parton-picture-3.jpg&hash=0b12689871c23e868fdc54f025a6d529)

      Dolly               Dolly
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: neilep on 16/06/2010 18:52:30
Did someone mention sheep ?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 16/06/2010 20:30:21
Uh oh!

JimBob must have hacked Neil's password.

Unless, could it actually be...

"The Return of the Wooly Jumper"

And I don't mean he's taking it back to M&S.

(Stay tuned for more exciting episodes.)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: neilep on 16/06/2010 20:35:12
Yessireebob,

yee haww....I'm a Texan wh-ewe has hacked sheepies password...guffaw guffaw !!

Y'all come back now and y'all have a nice day y'hear ?..gawwd bless america land and our king Elvis...yee haww !! ride em cowboy !!

Sheepy JimBob !
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 16/06/2010 21:02:01
Neilie, I'll ride you any day. I could use your suzzies as styrups.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/06/2010 22:12:54

Now let's not stirrup any trubble heah.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 17/06/2010 02:14:41
Hey, I like stirrup on pancakes and waffles!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 17/06/2010 02:45:45
Hey, I like stirrup on pancakes and waffles!

They don't call him "Sticky Jimmy" for nuthin'
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 17/06/2010 03:50:04
Stucky's? Isn't that a place on the Interstate?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/06/2010 04:32:11


Places on the interstate always take a toll on me.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 17/06/2010 06:20:11
When the bell tolls, it's best not to be interstate. When there is no will, there is no way to avoid a fight.
 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/06/2010 16:03:36

                  (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.district196.org%2Fevhs%2Fpeople%2Fseniorinfo%2Fgraduation_hat.jpg&hash=c0ce949e6fb0c2bd67935a8850bb55fe)

Congraduations to all of you commencing to graduate ceremoniously this fine June - and to the convocation of the graduating classes' friends, neighbors and relatives!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/06/2010 19:13:22

Hey, I like stirrup on pancakes and waffles!


              (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimagesource.allposters.com%2Fimages%2Fpic%2FFIP%2FFO-00040-C%7EWaffles-and-Pancakes-Posters.jpg&hash=7d7f3c5f8e70ca6abe5ca987c1fb3762)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.parcbench.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F12%2Fstirrup-pants-from-Bebe.jpg&hash=99b86b7d55cfe48264a9303384e48b81)


        But what if the waitress doesn't have stirrup-pants?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 17/06/2010 21:38:37
You lot can do enough pants over waitresses, stirrup or other.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/06/2010 00:14:49
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gis.unbc.ca%2Fcourses%2Fgeog432%2Fprojects%2F2008%2Fcastell%2Findex_files%2F800px-Arrow_east.png&hash=af20a9fd15b3078badd63f31389c4db4)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpotentialwithin.files.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F10%2Fbanana-799094.jpg&hash=fa82315a8a28ddd35dfa56fa9809eba1)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 18/06/2010 02:20:26
That is a mutant fruit flie.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 18/06/2010 06:36:32
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Trouser flies like a zipper.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/06/2010 17:17:14

That fast???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 18/06/2010 20:06:25
Will my TV reception improve if my Aunt Anna is mounted on the roof?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 18/06/2010 22:25:51
Your aunt might appreciate being mounted anywhere.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/06/2010 02:19:29

                         (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnixonisinhell.files.wordpress.com%2F2007%2F12%2Frcmp-crest.jpg&hash=9e1a98e868ebd6f3c8c172183e6a4150)


You know the saying, "mountees always get their man"!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 19/06/2010 02:40:31
That's right! The RCMP now have female officers as well - forgot about that completely. But mounting buffaloes???? Well, if it is part of the GREAT SEAL OF THE RCMP who am I to cast dispersions on the way they ride?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/06/2010 03:20:46
 
                    (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.oblomovka.com%2Fimages%2Fentries%2Fwificard.png&hash=e5e697d7e11107d50bf024e1c5d36828)


Geezer, I respectfully think that Aunt Anna should signal her true intent.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 19/06/2010 04:20:35

buffaloes????


Are you sure? Looks a bit sheepish to me.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/06/2010 04:31:38


That's right! The RCMP now have female officers as well - forgot about that completely. But mounting buffaloes???? Well, if it is part of the GREAT SEAL OF THE RCMP who am I to cast dispersions on the way they ride?


                     (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fus.history.wisc.edu%2Fhist102%2Fweblect%2Flec03%2FWW_show_cody_buffalo_bill.jpg&hash=b67c568762a4e78a66ce032b888d04b8)     
             BB, shown mounted on a horse


Perhaps we could introduce your Aunt Anna to Buffalo Bill?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 19/06/2010 04:40:08

Perhaps we could introduce your Aunt Anna to Buffalo Bill?


Perhaps, but I'm not sure what kind of reception he'd get.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/06/2010 04:55:07

Oh, that's easy, as long as he gets to hold on to her cute little rabbit ears.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 19/06/2010 05:17:38

Oh, that's easy, as long as he gets to hold on to her cute little rabbit ears.

To paraphrase Many Barrowloads, "Could it be FM?"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/06/2010 05:43:35

             (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpersuasion.typepad.com%2Fphotos%2Funcategorized%2Fantique_radios_25.jpg&hash=517998928830e39a2a48df6b99af22ac)
          ultra-modern high-tech digital radio



Radio has taught us a grim lesson: Life is FMeral, with everyone just walking about AMlessly, waiting to dial.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/06/2010 19:45:33


buffaloes????


Are you sure? Looks a bit sheepish to me.


          (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.batonrougeaidssociety.org%2Fsitebuildercontent%2Fsitebuilderpictures%2FLAMBSKIN.JPG&hash=680da129912d979822fc77f8f480c70f)

In that case I would play it safe.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 19/06/2010 20:46:14
Sometimes its funner to be a little RAM-bunctious then to be as gentle as a Lamb!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/06/2010 23:53:26



Karen... [;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 20/06/2010 00:00:02



Karen... [;D]
Well you told me to join in and well..uh I can't help it if my mind was in the gutter after your post! :-)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 20/06/2010 01:28:18
after, during and WELL before his post.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/06/2010 02:30:04


Karen... [;D]


Well you told me to join in and well..uh I can't help it if my mind was in the gutter after your post! :-)


No, Karen I don't mind at all - not one bit. I was laughing with you because you won a prize (the shirt)! Now let's see if JimBob and Geezer get tricked into giving away their mindset by "getting" the hot dog pic!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fget_your_mind_out_the_gutter_tshirt-p235322979068339263trlf_400.jpg&hash=2c93f4129687c1be945a6445e453ea92)    (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mindinthegutter.com%2FArt%2FMindInGutterLeft.jpg&hash=8db8a021acd9ad5788b643018da69091)

                         (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffiles.myopera.com%2FTabmartel%2Falbums%2F633515%2F1imagesa-dirty-mind.jpg&hash=28273f699064a0d972e7190a4af6e16f)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/06/2010 04:11:03


[her mind's-in-the-gutter] after, during and WELL before his post.


future tents, too?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 20/06/2010 04:44:53
What can I say?   [:I][;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 20/06/2010 16:59:42
I just LOVE to have my hot dog catered to ...  but I find ketchup not sticky enough. Chocolate syrup takes much longer to lick off.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 20/06/2010 19:24:39
Tastes better too!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/06/2010 02:17:03


I just LOVE to have my hot dog catered to ...  but I find ketchup not sticky enough. Chocolate syrup takes much longer to lick off.



Tastes better too!



 [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o]  [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/06/2010 08:48:25


I just LOVE to have my hot dog catered to ... 


But I thought catering was feline jewelry, not for dogs....??
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/06/2010 02:28:26

                    (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.readersdigest.ca%2Fmag%2F2002%2F08%2Fimages%2Fdebt.gif&hash=63102fef39ef9b6363b5250766882add)

      You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 22/06/2010 02:42:51

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

I thought that only happened when the Chancellor of the Exchequer was a bit constipated.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 22/06/2010 02:57:08
Or when those pet birds from Australia died.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/06/2010 05:04:21


You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.


I thought that only happened when the Chancellor of the Exchequer was a bit constipated.


Is that what is meant about cash flow?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 22/06/2010 16:51:36
Yep, your in a pinch. Seemingly permanently.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 22/06/2010 16:58:51
If you pinch a penny does it scream?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/06/2010 18:21:05

                     (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.artazine.org%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F01%2FsCREAMINGpENNYLOGO.jpg&hash=7f5b69ffa535d2703d257f4015c37510)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/06/2010 18:28:04


You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.


I thought that only happened when the Chancellor of the Exchequer was a bit constipated.


Is that what is meant about cash flow?


Yep, your in a pinch. Seemingly permanently.


Hmmm. Disrupted cash flow. I guess the only solution is to find a cash cow!


               (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fravesid.files.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F12%2Fcashcow2.jpg&hash=f20f3a961ed18d453557817b31631ca0)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/06/2010 01:03:52

Frankly, I see no udder way.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: geo driver on 23/06/2010 12:12:49
in gold we trust
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/06/2010 18:45:38

                            (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.taxfreegold.co.uk%2Fimages%2Fgoldbarjohnsonmatthey5tolas996gold400.jpg&hash=bb82fa008ac67e5b0af9d75cf3464dff)


True, geo driver! But in London it seems that they say "Ingot We Trust".
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 23/06/2010 19:20:32
Unless the ingot you got was a fake ingot, then I know not!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/06/2010 19:52:14
           (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcache3.asset-cache.net%2Fxc%2F78823641.jpg%3Fv%3D1%26amp%3Bc%3DIWSAsset%26amp%3Bk%3D2%26amp%3Bd%3D77BFBA49EF87892155F29F61288AC1CAD69453CF93C446F534FE5B27B245991F6081D12CC429ECC3&hash=c5bcf308517958ff94fa28bfc6d67ca8)

And a fake ingot throne in as well.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 24/06/2010 00:16:39

Frankly, I see no udder way.


I'n got a better solution - it's my goose that done been inseminated by a longhorn bull and now lays golden eggs.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/06/2010 01:52:23

That's a fableous solution, Jim!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 24/06/2010 02:11:36
I'n done got long thought on that 'un. And yes, it's a very stable one as well, cause the goose has water.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 24/06/2010 02:25:30
Any more like that and I'm locking this thread.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/06/2010 05:55:04

Geezer, please don't! Perhaps Jim can unlock some bull here.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 24/06/2010 08:12:26
You'd think. That's about all they have in Texarse.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/06/2010 18:55:35

Texarse? Is that where you found your proctologist?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 24/06/2010 19:42:29
I have eaten corned meat that was branded Texan Chilli, very tasty it was too, as far as mystery meat and other by products ( including poultry) goes. The can did not have hooves in it with this brand, others do.

I have met persons who could not find their fundament without a proctologist and a good map to guide their hands...............

I think the goose pate is well and truly cooked as far as this subject goes, I would go as far as to say it's goose is as good as its gander.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/06/2010 01:22:58

               (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.btcnews.com%2Fbtcnews%2Fimages%2Ffreudian_slip.jpg&hash=b625eff9a82d19db38a6568a7c59528f)
                          Freudian slip


A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/06/2010 18:39:22

               (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.markstivers.com%2Fwordpress%2Fcomics%2F2008-05-08%2520Photographic%2520memory.gif&hash=3295f4e12bc327a4b4b47ef3648ae088)

   Or...he had a photographic memory which was never developed.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 25/06/2010 19:41:42
De-velope is what you do when you open the mail.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 25/06/2010 20:10:20
Is that what you do after around 15 years after E-loping?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 25/06/2010 22:18:08
Isn't that a website for people that like virtual running.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/06/2010 22:39:45

Some women develop very early in life. Does that make them developtuous?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/06/2010 03:22:22

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.shelsmusic.com%2Fef%2Fimages%2Falbum%2520cover%2FEf_Mourning_G_Morning2.jpg&hash=8e1f0c5160347fff670efa839257c7f8)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.abc.net.au%2Fscience%2Fsurfingscientist%2Fimg%2Fconundrum21.jpg&hash=1062ba7aa299cc791fd95d48af8677a9)


          Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 26/06/2010 16:15:08
now I am thinking about Christina Applegate!

A doctor is asking his audience about dangerous foods, and a old man says to him " Wedding cake "!



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/06/2010 18:05:33

Good one, Sean. [;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/06/2010 02:43:12


A backward poet writes inverse.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/06/2010 04:34:52

              (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi37.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe82%2Fadvisor31%2Ffunny%2520pictures%2Ffunny_pictures_Hottest_Wedding_Gown.jpg&hash=48702052911a644b8871ebd7d59e2c77)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.steubencony.org%2Fmageehouse4.jpg&hash=048f2ec2d435bfeea3b2eedc3a5359de)

       
       With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 27/06/2010 17:45:47
And with the divorce she became a housewife.

I do know a guy who loved wedding cake, but hated the new car smell. He had a car that outlasted 3 wives. All became housewives, they kept the house, he kept the car.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/06/2010 16:23:17

A divorce attorney from San Antonio came up with a pun, "Remember the Alimony”

The pun became the official slogan of the firm.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 28/06/2010 17:43:38
I remember Alimony - it is right next to Antimony on the periodic chart.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 28/06/2010 19:39:49
That's not right JB. See, the Alimony is that place in Texarse where David Bowie had his final concert.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/06/2010 19:53:07
Hey, Geez, DB's pianist didn't tell me that! Hmm, he must be keeping secrets...


            (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Faffordablehousinginstitute.org%2Fblogs%2Fus%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2Fdivorce_furniture_small.jpg&hash=b2c02c1faa7697dfc3dd4ff3a08528d3)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/06/2010 20:00:44


I remember Alimony - it is right next to Antimony on the periodic chart.



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foecotextiles.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F02%2Fsb.jpg&hash=6f28292fa71aa212977623063654791d)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mineralatlas.com%2Fmineral%2520photos%2FA%2Fantimony158a.jpg&hash=5a49fc4ec1fa5ad882d83410b5bbc56c) Antimony


Does this mean that we must have rocks in our head to get married????????????? 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 28/06/2010 20:04:27
Not mandated demografix, but it does help..........

Do old chemists not die, just become fully amalysed?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/06/2010 20:07:00

Of course, Sean, now I understand. Thank you.

Analysis leads to paralysis!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 28/06/2010 22:02:15
Would Lisa's nieces call her Auntie Mony?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 28/06/2010 22:19:22
If you miss the target at an archery competition in Spain, do you get the el bow?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/06/2010 06:04:06

Not if you're el straight shooter. Or uno heckuva straight arrow.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/06/2010 11:52:57

That's not right JB. See, the Alimony is that place in Texarse where David Bowie had his final concert.


I lived in Texarsekana for awhile, but I was never sure if I was in Texarse or Arsekansas.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/06/2010 11:57:06

Would Lisa's nieces call her Auntie Mony?



Only if she bribed them with Reece's Pieces.


              (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.importladen.de%2Fimages%2Fproducts%2Freeses_pieces.jpg&hash=be1572bbf34506a7d8d979835f73b491)

                  For Lisa's nieces!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 29/06/2010 18:03:18
Now I have a song in my head, about ali money!

If you do not pay the alimony do you get your ex returned?

Around here it is very common, it even has a slang nane, namely &&&&tax ( cannot say on a moderated forum, but it is a word of four letters referring to a male chicken), and is a depressingly common thing taken from payslips.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/06/2010 21:09:00

Like this, Sean?

        (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.hilaryshepherd.com%2Frantsnraves%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2008%2F06%2Falimony-cartoon.jpg&hash=052d8fceebca594dd2b9725656525c3f)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 30/06/2010 21:45:27
Middle leg there, not an arm and a leg. To be correct in most divorces the wife gets both arms, the legs and the house and car. The Ex hubby is left with the bills. Equal division.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/06/2010 22:45:47


Middle leg there, not an arm and a leg. To be correct in most divorces the wife gets both arms, the legs and the house and car. The Ex hubby is left with the bills. Equal division.



Ouch to the middle leg!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/06/2010 22:51:05

Wow, Sean, it seems like we just don't have a leg to stand on! (But the other side gets a kick out of it)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/07/2010 03:03:34


Would Lisa's nieces call her Auntie Mony?


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mineralatlas.com%2Fmineral%2520photos%2FA%2Fantimony158a.jpg&hash=5a49fc4ec1fa5ad882d83410b5bbc56c) Antimony
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wirednewyork.com%2Fimages%2Fmony_carnegie_mews.jpg&hash=90d4a6e7cd86fbe63a24f6f1ca1293b9)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fscrapetv.com%2FNews%2FNews%2520Pages%2FBusiness%2Fimages-4%2Fmona-lisa.jpg&hash=15cc8105133f751a50df3174862f90de)

It took me a few days to finally see Geezer's brilliant playonwords!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/07/2010 03:44:15


De-velope is what you do when you open the mail.

There was a Newspaper Headline story about JimBob's Award for his pun above, but I lost it.

Similar to the Award below.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funnytimes.com%2Fplayground%2Fimg%2F123148257940631.png&hash=731f6c7e79ac73f38a2217e337feb535)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 01/07/2010 03:48:19


Would Lisa's nieces call her Auntie Mony?


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mineralatlas.com%2Fmineral%2520photos%2FA%2Fantimony158a.jpg&hash=5a49fc4ec1fa5ad882d83410b5bbc56c) Antimony
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wirednewyork.com%2Fimages%2Fmony_carnegie_mews.jpg&hash=90d4a6e7cd86fbe63a24f6f1ca1293b9)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fscrapetv.com%2FNews%2FNews%2520Pages%2FBusiness%2Fimages-4%2Fmona-lisa.jpg&hash=15cc8105133f751a50df3174862f90de)

It took me a few days to finally see Geezer's brilliant play on words!

If it were brilliant it would be comprehensible to anyone without being in pictures. A pun is a play on words, not pictures.

This is pure

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 01/07/2010 03:50:31


De-velope is what you do when you open the mail.

There was a Newspaper Headline story about JimBob's Award for his pun above, but I lost it.

Similar to the Award below.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funnytimes.com%2Fplayground%2Fimg%2F123148257940631.png&hash=731f6c7e79ac73f38a2217e337feb535)




De-velope is what you do when you open the mail.

There was a Newspaper Headline story about JimBob's Award for his pun above, but I lost it.

Similar to the Award below.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funnytimes.com%2Fplayground%2Fimg%2F123148257940631.png&hash=731f6c7e79ac73f38a2217e337feb535)


To tell the tooth I am rather honored.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/07/2010 03:58:35

Apparadentally doubly honored.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/07/2010 04:00:51


Would Lisa's nieces call her Auntie Mony?


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mineralatlas.com%2Fmineral%2520photos%2FA%2Fantimony158a.jpg&hash=5a49fc4ec1fa5ad882d83410b5bbc56c) Antimony
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wirednewyork.com%2Fimages%2Fmony_carnegie_mews.jpg&hash=90d4a6e7cd86fbe63a24f6f1ca1293b9)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fscrapetv.com%2FNews%2FNews%2520Pages%2FBusiness%2Fimages-4%2Fmona-lisa.jpg&hash=15cc8105133f751a50df3174862f90de)

It took me a few days to finally see Geezer's brilliant play on words!

If it were brilliant it would be comprehensible to anyone without being in pictures. A pun is a play on words, not
pictures.

This is pure


A vast improvement, however, over my original 3-hour slide show.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 01/07/2010 04:10:27
That ain't no bull.

Also, I am not Russian spy.

 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/07/2010 15:52:11

Can someone please revive Geezer's image?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 01/07/2010 17:52:19
Is it near death? It just looks hermaphroditic to me.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 01/07/2010 18:55:43
Well  it is a blonde..........

Though I got good news today, i had the winning lottery ticket.










Too bad it was not a winning ticket for me, but it was a winner for the operator. :(

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/07/2010 19:39:43

Can someone please revive Geezer's image?



Is it near death? It just looks hermaphroditic to me.



Well  it is a blonde..........


I can't see it. Can either of you?
http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=31700.msg314319#msg314319
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/07/2010 19:45:50


Too bad it was not a winning ticket for me, but it was a winner for the operator. :(


I bet you're right!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 02/07/2010 16:18:23
Only half of him is right, the other half is left.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 02/07/2010 19:51:40
And the bit in the middle is of course.........
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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undecided


( insert  sound from vuvuzela here)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/07/2010 20:24:32

      [:o] [::)] [:o] [::)] [:o] [::)] [:o] [::)]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/07/2010 20:28:06


Only half of him is right, the other half is left.


Make it Lady, did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

(Did anyone else hear that loud groaning again?.......)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 02/07/2010 20:34:45
Yes it is one of my customers in the dungeon room.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/07/2010 20:46:52

            (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestgamewallpapers.com%2Ffiles%2F2moons%2Fcastor-dungeon.jpg&hash=95e61044ecca40840a52f766381e6940)

              MiL's customer entrance
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 02/07/2010 23:10:06

Can someone please revive Geezer's image?



Is it near death? It just looks hermaphroditic to me.



Well  it is a blonde..........


I can't see it. Can either of you?
http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=31700.msg314319#msg314319

Yes - can't you?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 02/07/2010 23:14:11

Can someone please revive Geezer's image?



Is it near death? It just looks hermaphroditic to me.



Well  it is a blonde..........


I can't see it. Can either of you?
http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=31700.msg314319#msg314319

Yes - can't you?


That's udderly incredible  [:o]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 02/07/2010 23:24:07
Yes it is one of my customers in the dungeon room.

Don't your customers get a bit stiff being kept in a dank dungeon like that?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/07/2010 23:29:25

Geezer, shame! It's NOT a massage parlor.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 03/07/2010 02:21:45
No - it is full service.

Udderly delightful.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/07/2010 04:01:19

Geezer, shame! It's NOT a massage parlor.



No - it is full service.

Udderly delightful.


 [:o]  [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o]  [:o]  [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o]  [:o]  [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o]  [:o]  [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 03/07/2010 20:09:45
You are putting it on a bit thick! Is that Jersey you are using?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 04/07/2010 03:31:15
No wool, in honor of Sheepy.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 04/07/2010 14:31:32
Ah, so must be covering my eyes then!

I hope it is properly carded, or you will be getting a red one then.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/07/2010 17:34:37

I remember Alimony - it is right next to Antimony on the periodic chart.


Are you sure? I thought it was the capital of New York State.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 04/07/2010 19:29:32
Ah, so must be covering my eyes then!

I hope it is properly carded, or you will be getting a red one then.

I thought you got a yellow one first!  DARN!

 [>:(]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 05/07/2010 02:22:32

I remember Alimony - it is right next to Antimony on the periodic chart.


Are you sure? I thought it was the capital of New York State.

What does a metal have to do with rabbit LUV?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 07/07/2010 03:12:56
OK you slakers:

Chose one of the two are  get your own.

On the morning of the third day of their honeymoon the bridegroom is reading the TV schedules in the newspaper, but the bride, in the other room, is unaware of that.

He says: "Do you want to see Oliver Twist?"

She says: "If you make that thing do one more trick, I'm outta here."

________________________________________________________________________


There was a small village nestled at the bottom of a hill. It flourished because of the richness of the soil and the abundance of game in its forests. However, one spring the village hunters noticed a sparsity of game. It became increasingly difficult to find birds, small mammals, and other sources of protein. Alarmingly, the farmers noted as the spring progressed that the soil was becoming acidic and the crops were failing bit by bit.

One day the hunters quite by accident stumbled upon the source of their woes. While cautiously exploring one of the many nearby caves they discovered a very large and dangerous carnivore previously unknown in their area. One of them had seen pictures of this animal at a distant market in his youth, and could only recall it being called a Rarie. The foul smell of the beast's excrement immediately told them the source of the soil problems in their gardens, and the piles of bones strewn about the cave provided more than enough evidence for the dwindling meat supplies in their forest.

After much discussion and consultation with the village herb women, the hunters prepared a special "snack" for the dangerous and hungry rarie. They filled a large possum with an herb guaranteed to put their enemy into a deep sleep and left the meal at the mouth of the cave.

Upon awakening the rarie set to and ate possum with all due haste. The herb acted almost immediately, to the villagers' chagrin, since they had hoped to lure the beast to the hill above their village where they could carry out their plan to rid themselves of it by pushing it over the top and down onto the rocks at the edge of the ocean below.

It was necessary to rig a canvas, roll the beast onto it, and pull it with great effort to the village and on up the hill, all the while feeding it more of the herb whenever it threatened to awaken. Finally they had it near the top, when everyone's energy gave out.

More discussion led to a new plan, whereby long sticks would be put under the somnulent beast, and they would lever it up and over the top of the hill.

As they were laboring away at this final plan, a wandering beggar came by and began laughing loudly at their efforts. Offended, they demanded to know what he found so funny.

"Oh, your plan will never work. I cannot believe you are so ignorant," he said. "Everyone knows that that's the wrong way to tip a rarie."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/07/2010 03:53:19

OMG, I heard that one in 1973!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 07/07/2010 04:07:52
He'll be telling us how he "left his arse in Sam Pam's disco" next,
 
or the one about "two lips from hamster jam".
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/07/2010 04:30:31

                             (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 07/07/2010 16:56:08
Three things -

1.) the rarie's fits well with you two dinosaurs all are old and stale

2.) At least I didn't slack on the thread and got you old coots moving again. 
 
3.) If you do not continue to add to this thread I will tell you the story of how to make a moth ball.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/07/2010 17:13:52

This thread is on its last legs, I can't stand it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/07/2010 17:59:38

However, Geezer, I must admit to wanting to hear all about the <snicker>  moth ball  [;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/07/2010 22:56:45


This thread is on its last legs, I can't stand it.


Is that a run - on sentence?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 08/07/2010 03:28:43
Funny, the moth went out for the track team when he was in middle school. He was a good runner and soon aspired to the Olympics. After days of training he made it to the monthly moth Olympics. (I have made a shaggy dogs story very short.

Just making it to the Olympics was a huge achievement, especially since he was the first moth from his species to ever make the cut for the team.  He made it to the finals of the 50 inch sprint. He was in the middle lane. As they were in the starting block one of the two members of the Birch Tree Moths looked at him and spit at him. Taking this as just a mind game, the little moth set his mind and set himself firmer in the starting block. As the gun went off, the Birch Tree Moth bumped him, setting him off stride. But the little moth was tough. He only missed one step and speed on. But then the moth that bumped him did it again, and the little mouth went down, along with all of his dreams in his pathetically short life.

That is how you make a moth ball.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 08/07/2010 03:57:15
Blimey!

I thought it might at least have had something to do with the one about giant moths (which, I can no longer remember).

There is nothing else for it but a public banning.

JimBob is hereby banned for at least 30 minutes.

(Sorry JB, but you gave me no choice.) 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/07/2010 04:50:57

JB, you could go to the bank with that one.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 08/07/2010 05:19:47

JB, you could go to the bank with that one.

I would not recommend it:

They are nothing but a bunch of bankers.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/07/2010 04:10:23


This thread is on its last legs, I can't stand it.


Is that a run - on sentence?


Perhaps JimBob will put his best foot forward and add to this, keeping us on our toes?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/07/2010 17:27:00


Hey, Geezer, I sincerely hope that your Auntie Histamynne's bronchial condition's improved!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 09/07/2010 17:47:12
No but his Auntie inflammatory is helping him to sleep at night.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 10/07/2010 01:46:31
Actually, Geezer is from a very loving Scottish family. His Auntie keeps him awake all night. That is why Geezer has been BANished to the US.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/07/2010 05:40:05

Is that a Scottish roll-on deodorant???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/07/2010 05:52:50

No but his Auntie inflammatory is helping him to sleep at night.


I'm happy that something was found to Aleveiate the situation!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/07/2010 05:57:31


This thread is on its last legs, I can't stand it.


Is that a run - on sentence?


Perhaps JimBob will put his best foot forward and add to this, keeping us on our toes?


You know, like he gets his foot in the door on great new deals.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 11/07/2010 22:08:17


This thread is on its last legs, I can't stand it.


Is that a run - on sentence?


Perhaps JimBob will put his best foot forward and add to this, keeping us on our toes?


You know, like he gets his foot in the door on great new deals.


The best thing is to see Geezer when he dresses up in his tights, tutu and toe shoes.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 12/07/2010 07:39:26

The best thing is to see Geezer when he dresses up in his tights, tutu and toe shoes.

You've got a thing about tutus, don't you? Fess up now. We're all family here. There's no need to be embarrassed about it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/07/2010 12:16:54


The best thing is to see Geezer...in his...toe shoes.


Hmmm, something's afoot here.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/07/2010 12:22:26

But at least Geezer put his foot down.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/07/2010 23:23:49

C'mon everybody, take the first step, and pun, pun, pun. Hurry, or we'll haveta listen to JimBob's olden tales.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 13/07/2010 23:36:32

But at least Geezer put his foot down.

Yes he did. And that is what got him in trouble. How do you expect to dance in the ballet in Highland Brogans?

Geeze is now having trouble speaking. After his failure to show up for the performance in toe shoes they gave him the boot.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/07/2010 01:50:13

That's sad. I bet they didn't walk a mile in his shoes.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/07/2010 15:58:31

             (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.supermotors.net%2Fgetfile%2F647377%2Foriginal%2Fvoyeurism.jpg&hash=77831fe856c6a65fbffbcab6259aba7e)


               Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/07/2010 16:25:19


1.) the rarie's fits well with you two dinosaurs all are old and stale

2.) At least I didn't slack on the thread and got you old coots moving again. 



It is why I have worked for myself these last 35 years. 12 years for someone else was all I could take.


Hmmm, do the 2 above add up? 35 + 12 + ... hmmm [;D]

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 15/07/2010 17:55:36
I can't get the image of Jimbob in a Tutu out of my head.Geezer what have you done!!!!!!!!!

The best thing is to see Geezer when he dresses up in his tights, tutu and toe shoes.

You've got a thing about tutus, don't you? Fess up now. We're all family here. There's no need to be embarrassed about it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/07/2010 19:34:30


                             (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 15/07/2010 22:15:57
It 'tis indeed a fine sight, ye know. You have seen me in Les Trockadero, haven't you, Shazza? (http://www.trockadero.org/)


             (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.supermotors.net%2Fgetfile%2F647377%2Foriginal%2Fvoyeurism.jpg&hash=77831fe856c6a65fbffbcab6259aba7e)


               Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?



Is this the same as Kelly's Blue Book?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 16/07/2010 00:33:37

I can't get the image of Jimbob in a Tutu out of my head.Geezer what have you done?


Didn't he tell you he runs the Texarse Bolshoi?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 16/07/2010 04:23:08
I beg your pardon, (writer snickers at his deceit) but in Texas we have a Bull who runs the showe. It is in the name, fer cryin' out loud!

Wish you would learn to spell, you foreigner - haggis-eating reject of the BRITISH Isles, even counting Bannockburn.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 16/07/2010 06:00:38
Them Texarns is a right bunch of Bolshies if you arsks me.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/07/2010 21:22:18

Now, now, boise, we don't talk like that in Idy-ho.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/07/2010 21:24:11

Hey, all, best regards from NYC, been visiting my old home turf. Sweltering!!!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/07/2010 23:08:09


             (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.supermotors.net%2Fgetfile%2F647377%2Foriginal%2Fvoyeurism.jpg&hash=77831fe856c6a65fbffbcab6259aba7e)


               Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?



Is this the same as Kelly's Blue Book?


Yes. It covers auto-voyeurism.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 17/07/2010 03:30:06
I am NOT touching that remark - uh-uh!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 17/07/2010 10:41:30
You know the old saw of the blonde who was pregnant....... - She asked the doc "Is it mine?"

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/07/2010 19:32:20



Sean...and JimBob.....and Geezer...and Make it Lady.....


                             (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 20/07/2010 16:43:52
Do you have stomach problems Demo? You keep posting this picture of holding your stomach. I am a bit worried. Please let us know. We are just one big family here.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/07/2010 17:51:13


Do you have stomach problems Demo? You keep posting this picture of holding your stomach. I am a bit worried. Please let us know. We are just one big family here.


JimBob, you are so prescient! How did you know that this NYC record-breaking heat/humidity has done that to me?? However, I board a big bird in just a few hours back to la-la-land where my troubles will transform once again. [:)]

Thanks so much for your touching compassion!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/07/2010 17:55:13


The best thing is to see Geezer...in his...toe shoes.


Hmmm, something's afoot here.


Almost like having one foot in the grave.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/07/2010 18:17:20


You know the old saw of the blonde who was pregnant....... - She asked the doc "Is it mine?"


 [;D] [;D] [;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/07/2010 18:37:10

Is this the same as Kelly's Blue Book?


Yes. It covers auto-voyeurism.


I am NOT touching that remark - uh-uh!


TOUCHING?? There goes my stomach again......
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 20/07/2010 19:06:49
Reminds me of the song as well.

Auto-voyeurism - is that what happens when you ride around " certain areas" looking for something, but not actually having the nerve to " complete" the transaction?

Or did I get it Auto about face again?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/07/2010 21:05:20

Eggsactly, Sean! That's why JimBob carries Kelly's Blue Book with him wherever he goes.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 22/07/2010 03:14:06
No, not really auto voyeurism for me. I should live in Trucke, California having a Toyota T-100
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/07/2010 07:57:29

           (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theautochannel.com%2Fmedia%2Fphotos%2Ftoyota%2F1998%2F98_toyota_t100_4x4_xcab_sr5.jpg&hash=6ed20dba648f4285c67875590547671b)

Wow, Sean, think of the number of multiple "transactions" in THIS baby!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 22/07/2010 19:36:27
I like it over rough terrain.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 22/07/2010 19:52:04
Leave it to Demo to comment on something like traction which is just so difficult if just one tire is BALD.

And as for MILf, you can have a ride any time.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 22/07/2010 23:02:56
I never tire of the bald.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 23/07/2010 00:16:31
Don't you think people should retire before they go bald?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/07/2010 03:03:07


I like it over rough terrain.


 [;D]  [;D]  [;D]


I never tire of the bald.


Whew! Saved from JimBob! (Bowing before MiL)
                                        (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.feebleminds-gifs.com%2Fchickenb.gif&hash=4c3b566540c799ba8ed66c6b7fc4d903)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/07/2010 05:49:27

Don't you think people should retire before they go bald?


But Geezer, then they'll be re-treads...
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/07/2010 05:50:55


And as for MILf...


 [:o]  [:o]  [:o]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 23/07/2010 18:09:21
I know, I was shocked too. I can't remember who started calling me MIL(f) in the first place. Was it Beaver or was it you Jim?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 23/07/2010 18:34:24
I was confused, was it because of seeing rather too much beaver, or that jim was there bobbing for road apples....

Back to the auto fixation, I find that it is bad to use it when there is no lubricant inside the engine, it only lasts for a short while before stopping. Also you have to use the right kind, synthetic is great, and lowers friction as well, while natural is good for most uses, and is generally very good. Just remember that some are not compatiable with certain rubber seals, and can cause them to fail, most embarassing to leak in the wrong places, it leaves a permanent reminder sometimes.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 23/07/2010 20:26:55
I love a good leek!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/07/2010 01:33:45

 [;D]  [;D]  [;D]

(no, JB, it's not my stomach. I like leek : - )
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 24/07/2010 03:47:48

I never tire of the bald.


Whew! Saved from JimBob! (Bowing before MiL)
                                        (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.feebleminds-gifs.com%2Fchickenb.gif&hash=4c3b566540c799ba8ed66c6b7fc4d903)
[/quote]

Saved - I THINK NOT!

Your pate is a matter of debate - tire or tired - the latter I believe.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 24/07/2010 03:52:05
I know, I was shocked too. I can't remember who started calling me MIL(f) in the first place. Was it Beaver or was it you Jim?

Sean - The Beaver is the late good Dr. Beaver, a member of the forum who has pissed us alll off by up and going on to better things -

He would have LOVED your remarks about beaver.


I love a good leek!

Are your female troubles back, my dear? - Leaking again?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/07/2010 06:18:05


I never tire of the bald.


Whew! Saved from JimBob! (Bowing before MiL)
                                        (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.feebleminds-gifs.com%2Fchickenb.gif&hash=4c3b566540c799ba8ed66c6b7fc4d903)


Saved - I THINK NOT!

Your pate is a matter of debate - tire or tired - the latter I believe.


Look again, JimBob. See how "full" is the red pate above?

Case closed.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 24/07/2010 11:13:59
When I was young we had a hen called Lamebrain. Dog friendly too, a skipperkie is no match for a hen. Her only downfall was that she only laid eggs in flowerpots, and was a surprisingly good cat burglar, able to find her way into the house though any window. That was her downfall, when one day she left a calling card all over mother's dresser and chair.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 24/07/2010 16:52:43


I never tire of the bald.


Whew! Saved from JimBob! (Bowing before MiL)
                                        (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.feebleminds-gifs.com%2Fchickenb.gif&hash=4c3b566540c799ba8ed66c6b7fc4d903)


Saved - I THINK NOT!

Your pate is a matter of debate - tire or tired - the latter I believe.


Look again, JimBob. See how "full" is the red pate above?

Case closed.


HA!


There is NO hair on a chicken. What ARE you smoking?

VERDICT: BALD & TIRED (or is it tyred?)

WARNING,  WARNING,  WARNING! 
Old guy on wheels! Watch out for the electric scooter!
 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/07/2010 19:09:05

                  (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cartoonstock.com%2Fnewscartoons%2Fcartoonists%2Fdpa%2Flowres%2Fdpan2960l.jpg&hash=29fd5d1b70231949cbe8fb737fdd8354)



WARNING,  WARNING,  WARNING! 
Old guy on wheels! Watch out for the electric scooter!
 

To all unsuspecting females: Let's thank JimBob for being so considerate to issue advance warnings about himself!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 24/07/2010 19:45:49
Quote
To all unsuspecting females: Let's thank JimBob for being so considerate to issue advance warnings about himself! 

But what about the women who already suspect him? I am not ruddy well thanking him for anything!  [;)]

Interpoll issused the warmings about him before he did anyway...  [;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/07/2010 19:54:49

Variola, thank you so much for coming forward in spite of his repeated threats, harrassment and heavy-breathing phone calls! Womankind is now so much safer!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 24/07/2010 20:09:04
Oximoron alert! Woman!!!!Kind!!!! we never are!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 24/07/2010 20:19:09

Variola, thank you so much for coming forward in spite of his repeated threats, harrassment and heavy-breathing phone calls! Womankind is now so much safer!

Yeah but they have a lot of sheep in Texas.... I think Jimbob is grumpy because he has a wool allergy...
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 24/07/2010 20:27:10
My Mum knitted me a wool allergy once
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/07/2010 20:39:26

Oxymoron alert! Woman!!!!Kind!!!! we never are!


LOL! I second that emotion!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 24/07/2010 20:41:41
Quote
My Mum knitted me a wool allergy once   

 [;D]Did it have 2 neck holes and 3 arms??
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 24/07/2010 20:42:55
I've just put two coats of white paint on my door, I second that emulsion!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/07/2010 20:43:44


Variola, thank you so much for coming forward in spite of his repeated threats, harrassment and heavy-breathing phone calls! Womankind Femality is now so much safer!


Thanks, Make it Lady!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/07/2010 20:44:45

I've just put two coats of white paint on my door, I second that emulsion!


But first you must strip.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 24/07/2010 20:47:53
JimBob is very keen on wooly alegories. Consequently, he's sometimes quite overcome with emulsion.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 24/07/2010 20:49:47
Demo, I'll be around with my blow torch.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/07/2010 20:50:11

Geezer to the rescue! [:)]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/07/2010 20:50:59


Demo, I'll be around with my blow torch.


 [:o]  [:o]  [:o]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 24/07/2010 20:51:41
Has he got a blow torch too?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 24/07/2010 20:52:36


Demo, I'll be around with my blow torch.


 [:o]  [:o]  [:o]
All three of them have blow torches
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 24/07/2010 20:54:01


Demo, I'll be around with my blow torch.


 [:o]  [:o]  [:o]
All three of them have blow torches

They would all blow their own torch if they could reach
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/07/2010 20:54:31


Demo, I'll be around with my blow torch.


 [:)]  [:)]  [:)]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/07/2010 20:57:41


They would all blow their own torch if they could reach


  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 24/07/2010 21:00:55


They would all blow their own torch if they could reach


  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]


All 20 are very flexible
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 24/07/2010 21:03:14

They would all blow their own torch if they could reach

Ah! That clears up something. I always wondered what was meant by, "She's holding a torch for him."

I always thought it was because she was an usherette in a cinema.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 24/07/2010 21:05:27
I got a chance to ush 'er ette once and very nice it was too.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 24/07/2010 21:13:50
I got a chance to ush 'er ette once and very nice it was too.

There's really no answer to that  [:)]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/07/2010 21:20:23

Not a printable one. [:)]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 24/07/2010 21:24:26
As you all well know, I'm not one to "toot my own flute", but I have to say my;

"I always thought it was because she was an usherette in a cinema" would at least have received an Honorable Mention from Kenneth Horne.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 24/07/2010 21:37:45
Quote
As you all well know, I'm not one to "toot my own flute", but I have to say my;
   


Only because you can't reach.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 24/07/2010 21:42:00
I have been known to play a tune on the pink oboe
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 24/07/2010 21:55:17
The Cor Écossaise is also quite an instrument.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/07/2010 22:14:36

JimBob is very keen on wooly alegories. Consequently, he's sometimes quite overcome with emulsion.


But that only serves to generate revulsion.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 24/07/2010 22:19:00
It was Generate Revulsion, in the ballroom with the pink oboe
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 24/07/2010 22:21:09
Nonsense. It was the lead pipe.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 24/07/2010 22:27:46
He lead them out of Hamlyn and far away .
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 24/07/2010 22:32:18
Yes. But he was pie-eyed at the time.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 24/07/2010 22:42:00
I hear his name was Simon,  simply asking for a taste landed him with two freebies in the face.














( Ok that is a little cryptic here you go http://www3.amherst.edu/~rjyanco94/literature/mothergoose/rhymes/simplesimonmetapieman.html)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/07/2010 22:53:03


They would all blow their own torch if they could reach


  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]  [:o]



All 20 are very flexible


Like this?      (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.feebleminds-gifs.com%2Fchickenb.gif&hash=4c3b566540c799ba8ed66c6b7fc4d903)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 24/07/2010 22:54:14
I'm familiar with a slightly different version. It goeth thusly:

Simple Simon met a pieman
Gowing to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pieman,
"What have you got there?"

PIES YA MUG!

I'm sure this is, at the very least, politically incorrect. I only cite it as a reference for academic reasons.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/07/2010 22:57:54

It was Generate Revulsion, in the ballroom with the pink oboe


Yes, we talked about de Generate Revulsion earlier.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/07/2010 23:02:27

As you all well know, I'm not one to "toot my own flute"


So Variola and Make it Lady were wrong after all!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/07/2010 01:02:42

The best thing is to see Geezer when he dresses up in his tights, tutu and toe shoes.


You've got a thing about tutus, don't you? Fess up now. We're all family here. There's no need to be embarrassed about it.


Go easy, Geezer, he didn't want to be out of step.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 25/07/2010 03:40:16
Then why does Pox wish me to cruise to Iceland with her? She asked ME!

Adoring women just love dirty old men. Get with it demo. Bald is beautiful. Some women love it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/07/2010 05:25:30

Hmm. This forum constantly challenges my Supreme Knowledge...
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 25/07/2010 08:06:22
Then why does Pox wish me to cruise to Iceland with her? She asked ME!

Adoring women just love dirty old men. Get with it demo. Bald is beautiful. Some women love it.

Tis true I do want you to come with me  [:)] I get a discount if I take an OAP with me..... [:P] Plus I thought your geo knowledge might come in useful  explaining to me about the mud puddles that go 'floop'.
I would have to check your clothing before we went anywhere though...... some of your shirts are very dubious!
Anyway you are not that bald.... more sparsely furnished!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 25/07/2010 16:44:32

...... some of your shirts are very dubious!


Wait till you see the tutu  [;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 25/07/2010 17:02:05

...... some of your shirts are very dubious!


Wait till you see the tutu  [;D]

I'd rather see the four four!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 25/07/2010 17:23:09
1
 [ Invalid Attachment ]

Here's a recent photo of JimBob and I in our plus-fours. I presume that's what you were looking for?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 25/07/2010 20:35:17
Actually those socks are exactly the sort of thing Jambib wears!!!  [:-\]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/07/2010 20:45:53


you are not that bald.... more sparsely furnished!


Wait, I'm less sparsely furnished! Take me instead.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 25/07/2010 21:57:10


you are not that bald.... more sparsely furnished!


Wait, I'm less sparsely furnished! Take me instead.

AH the truth will out!

Led by the lady with the blow -

TORCH


And Pox, I am accompanied by a full suitcase full of petite fours.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 25/07/2010 21:59:06
I was asleep through about a full page of banter - thus the tardiness of my previous post  - exucse moi, por favol.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/07/2010 22:14:11


I've just put two coats of white paint on my door, I second that emulsion!


But first you must strip.



Demo, I'll be around with my blow torch.


Make it Lady, painting is a serious job! You must finish what you started!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 25/07/2010 22:20:07
And be sure to French Polish the knob very, very well. Other wise it is a failed ending.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/07/2010 22:22:02


And be sure to French Polish the knob very, very well. Other wise is is a failed ending.


Yes, and I learned from JimBob that "happy endings" are crucial to success.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/07/2010 22:25:25


And Pox, I am accompanied by a full suitcase full of petite fours.


                  (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fblogs.smarter.com%2Fblogs%2FHaba%2520Play%2520Food%2520Biofino%2520Petit%2520Fours%2520Set%2520of%25209.jpg&hash=cd39a2a30a36e7d75f5224807ea80e9a)

See? One has to watch him carefully, these are rows of only three (3) !!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/07/2010 22:30:41


you are not that bald.... more sparsely furnished!


Wait, I'm less sparsely furnished! Take me instead.


AH the truth will out!


No! No! Less means more! Look up 'sparse' or you will get a C- !
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 25/07/2010 23:01:52


you are not that bald.... more sparsely furnished!


Wait, I'm less sparsely furnished! Take me instead.

AH the truth will out!

Led by the lady with the blow -

TORCH


And Pox, I am accompanied by a full suitcase full of petite fours.


It is about time you appeared I was going to insult you but if you have sweet things I will be nice.... ish!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 26/07/2010 05:18:11
Heeeelllllloooo!

Sorry, but JimBob seems to have dropped off again. I suspect the plus-fours are cutting off some circulation.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/07/2010 06:04:20

                  (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnefariouslabs.r30.net%2Fdirty-old-man.jpg&hash=f17a51a53c5ea878ef7d62e7bec4c203)


             Congrats to JimBob for His 2010 Award!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 26/07/2010 16:50:39


you are not that bald.... more sparsely furnished!


Wait, I'm less sparsely furnished! Take me instead.


AH the truth will out!


No! No! Less means more! Look up 'sparse' or you will get a C- !
Grass doesn't grow on a busy street.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/07/2010 18:29:05

Grass doesn't grow on a busy street.


 [;D] [:o] [;D] [:o]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 26/07/2010 19:22:31
Heeeelllllloooo!

Sorry, but JimBob seems to have dropped off again. I suspect the plus-fours are cutting off some circulation.

I do have a life besides sitting at my computer and yacking all day.
_________________________________________________________

sparse   /sp'ɑːʳs/
synonyms:
    * adjective: thin, rare, scarce, infrequent


I rest my case.
______________________________________________


                  (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnefariouslabs.r30.net%2Fdirty-old-man.jpg&hash=f17a51a53c5ea878ef7d62e7bec4c203)


             Congrats to JimBob for His 2010 Award!



Thank you, my dear Shazza.  But then we need to hang a hat on the knob - it looks as if Demo has been "keyholeing" on us again.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 26/07/2010 20:07:20
That does look a bit like me!!!! When I was younger that is.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/07/2010 23:01:39

As it looks like JimBob in his youth as well.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/07/2010 23:18:18


sparse   /sp'ɑːʳs/
synonyms:
    * adjective: thin, rare, scarce, infrequent


I rest my case.
______________________________________________


Excellent, JimBob!

But not so fast. You're a-l-m-o-s-t there, so be patient.

Now, JB, as I so clearly wrote, "less sparsely" means.......?

C'mon, we all know you can do it! Let's earn that C+ !
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 27/07/2010 02:18:56
Less? WHO is HE? Your alter ego or your id?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/07/2010 17:48:02
If you read the post carefully, HE is YOU lol.



you [addressing JimBob] are not that bald.... more sparsely furnished!


Wait, I'm less sparsely furnished! Take me instead.


However, JimBob, you are to be commended on your clever camouflaging segues, so...B- !  (I am soooooo generous)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/07/2010 17:51:15

Thank you, my dear Shazza.  But then we need to hang a hat on the knob -


Won't you look a tad silly prancing around the bedroom with your hat on it? Cute trick, but I say focus, focus, focus!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 28/07/2010 05:34:09
If you read the post carefully, HE is YOU lol.



you [addressing JimBob] are not that bald.... more sparsely furnished!


Wait, I'm less sparsely furnished! Take me instead.


However, JimBob, you are to be commended on your clever camouflaging segues, so...B- !  (I am soooooo generous)

You are too kind OLD boy.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/07/2010 06:04:12

awwww, hugs back to ya, JimBob!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 29/07/2010 00:04:37
Is that why you reposed the two posts above after no one got them the first time around? Hanging buns?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/07/2010 03:44:08

No just one. And I wanted to separate the *old* from the new. And since it worries you, I got rid of that one.

BTW it's re-posting not re-posing.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/07/2010 03:44:59

As in *old* people.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 29/07/2010 04:18:21
Not to mention that it is seems like it happens again. Or did I already say that?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/07/2010 17:24:35

What? Deja vu? Hmm.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/07/2010 17:31:37

Geezer disappeared! [:o]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 29/07/2010 19:01:22

Geezer disappeared! [:o]

That, too, is an infusion.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 29/07/2010 22:55:13
Yes it got too cold to hang a hat on his knob, so he went.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/07/2010 23:51:20

Make it Lady, if I were out of the hospital post-surgery I would worry about your posts tearing my stitches apart  [;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 30/07/2010 01:41:59
I thought they used Staples (http://www.staples.com/) these days.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/07/2010 02:13:02

Haha. That put me back in stitches. Thanks!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 30/07/2010 14:45:47
Well that has sewn this thread up!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 30/07/2010 15:30:20
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funnyforumpics.com%2Fforums%2Fthis-thread-sucks%2F10%2FThread-Crap-No_Hope.jpg&hash=c42a1aae6a4ec07f8d953422a11d13eb)
 [:)] [:)]

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 30/07/2010 17:46:57
Oh so cute. I've lost my big Tom, Mossy. I'm sure he'll turn up. He is not struck on the kitten.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 30/07/2010 21:29:23
There is hope, but we are missing something to knit things together into a complete tapestry, not a complete travesty.

We need to stay on our toes, keep an eye on the ball and not get caught up in a lot of old yarn.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/07/2010 22:11:15


                             (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)


(ps - would someone kindly convey to JimBob that there's nuttin' wrong with my stomach!)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/07/2010 22:12:23

Variola, that is the utmost cutest thread demise I've ever seen!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 30/07/2010 22:13:20


                             (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)


(ps - would someone kindly convey to JimBob that there's nuttin' wrong with my stomach!)

No but if you resemble that cartoon in anyway  then your dress sense needs some urgent attention!!! :-D
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/07/2010 23:53:27

But...but....<sputter>...Variola! I just got these on sale at Toys 'R' Us!...........
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 30/07/2010 23:55:08

But...but....<sputter>...Variola! I just got these on sale at Toys 'R' Us!...........

That is still no excuse for wearing shoes like that...  [:P]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 31/07/2010 00:15:18

But...but....<sputter>...Variola! I just got these on sale at Toys 'R' Us!...........

That is still no excuse for wearing shoes like that...  [:P]

The problem is that the thread, Like the Toys 'R us shoes, has no soul.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/07/2010 01:34:07

You're such a heel!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/07/2010 01:38:47

I stand firm by these shoes.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/07/2010 03:12:26


[:P]


Nice tongue  [:)]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 31/07/2010 04:16:18

I stand firm by these shoes.

"Stand fern?" Shouldn't that be "fern stand?"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/07/2010 04:55:41

No. Ferns don't stand out. And I'm just not head over heels about them.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/07/2010 05:02:28

Oh so cute. I've lost my big Tom, Mossy. I'm sure he'll turn up. He is not struck on the kitten.


Sorry to hear and best wishes!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/07/2010 05:08:00

We need to stay on our toes


Sean, you're always a step ahead of me.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 31/07/2010 11:16:05


[:P]


Nice tongue  [:)]

Yeah pity such blue language rolls off it...!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 31/07/2010 11:16:50

We need to stay on our toes


Sean, you're always a step ahead of me.

Well put your best foot forward, but change the shoes first.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 31/07/2010 20:32:12


[:P]


Nice tongue  [:)]

Yeah pity such blue language rolls off it...!

Actually, what my tongue does best is wrap it self around the little man in the boat for hours and hours at a time.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 31/07/2010 20:33:59
Quote
Actually, what my tongue does best is wrap it self around the little man in the boat for hours and hours at a time.   

<<<<< checks flight times to Austin. [;)]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/07/2010 21:59:07


Ooo, there goes my stomach again...
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/07/2010 22:05:11

We need to stay on our toes


Sean, you're always a step ahead of me.

Well put your best foot forward, but change the shoes first.

Kick up your heels all you want, I'm not giving in to that fancy footwork of yours!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 31/07/2010 22:11:53


Ooo, there goes my stomach again...

Jimbob does look a bit scary I have to admit....
 [:D]

We need to stay on our toes


Sean, you're always a step ahead of me.

Well put your best foot forward, but change the shoes first.

Kick up your heels all you want, I'm not giving in to that fancy footwork of yours!

Not even if I pull my stockings socks up? My best ones with lace(s)?

 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/07/2010 22:43:42

Hmmmmmm..........
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/07/2010 22:48:20

Too bad you're not just a hop, skip, and a jump away.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 31/07/2010 22:56:14

Too bad you're not just a hop, skip, and a jump away.

Is that a new form of travelling??

And I am nearer to you than..... um.... well someone who is not so near!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/08/2010 03:14:17

You mean you're all interchangeable???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 01/08/2010 05:33:15
Ah, Heather, could I, I would 'Waltz across Texas(1)' with you showing the fancy footwork I once was capable of doing. Alas, Demo has a stomach ache and I can here the growls from his stomach ache HERE they are so loud. It breaks the rhythm of the waltz drastically.

Very disquieting.

(1)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/08/2010 08:43:38

Dis is more quiet than dat.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/08/2010 18:33:12


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funnyforumpics.com%2Fforums%2Fthis-thread-sucks%2F10%2FThread-Crap-No_Hope.jpg&hash=c42a1aae6a4ec07f8d953422a11d13eb)
 [:)] [:)]


         (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmembers.optusnet.com.au%2Fyeseron%2FThread%2520pics%2Fthis_thread_rocks.jpg&hash=e88a1e3a0d49bd0881fa04bc211e4328)

         So says JimBob as you can all plainly see!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/08/2010 18:39:45

(Rocks = Geology)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 01/08/2010 19:00:20
I like that picture.... it's so gneiss...  [:D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 01/08/2010 20:18:33
With my dyslexia I thought that read Guiness
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/08/2010 23:08:41


I like that picture.... it's so gneiss...  [:D]


With my dyslexia I thought that read Guiness


You mean...

     (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fbeer_rocks_poster-p228892823582635909td87_210.jpg&hash=b1d9d6ad80de66fa0cbd3e06b01bd614)  ???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/08/2010 23:21:37


With my dyslexia...


Then you must know the dyslexic cop who was arrested?

He was pulling over drunk drivers and issuing them IUD's...



(I hope this translates OK in the UK!)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 02/08/2010 16:44:50
It does. I have a Marina coil so I'm safe whilst sailing.

When I was told I had dyslexia, my Dad drove me to the Welsh boarders and pointed at all the signs and said "See, you are not the only one."   
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 02/08/2010 20:15:48
It does. I have a Marina coil so I'm safe whilst sailing.

When I was told I had dyslexia, my Dad drove me to the Welsh boarders and pointed at all the signs and said "See, you are not the only one."  


That is twice now I have choked on my coffee..... the first was with the cookie monster quip....

Marina coil....sailing..... PMSL...!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/08/2010 21:18:58

When I was told I had dyslexia, my Dad drove me to the Welsh boarders and pointed at all the signs and said "See, you are not the only one."  


No, you're not. And don't forget the dyslexics battle cry, "Dyslexics: Untie!!"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/08/2010 21:20:23

Did you hear about the dyslexic who was also an insomniac and an agnostic? Stays up all night wondering whether there really is a Dog.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/08/2010 21:38:14

...choked on my coffee.....the cookie monster quip....


Cookie monster quip? I missed that one...
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 02/08/2010 21:42:08

...choked on my coffee.....the cookie monster quip....


Cookie monster quip? I missed that one...

Its on the flash cookie thread!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 03/08/2010 00:24:31
Cookies? Have you checked you browser lately? It sets them all over the place.

And spys on you as well.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/08/2010 00:27:38

So THAT'S how the cookie crumbles!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 03/08/2010 01:08:14
No, a Crumble is a totally different item. Set him straight you Britishers.

Or if no one is on-line at 1 AM,

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crumble
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/08/2010 05:03:30

How did ewe know that Apple Crumb Pie is my all-time flavorite! Yum!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 03/08/2010 18:49:28
It is not a pie. It has no pastry. It is simply an apple crumble. I like a spot of rhubarb myself.

What do biscuits say when you ask them how they are?
"Mustn't Crumble"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 03/08/2010 19:10:08
I guess it is the force expended during the fight that turns you on so much.


rhubarb
*** 4.) An excited, angry exchange of words, especially at a sporting event.

American slang
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/08/2010 19:53:38

Wiki says, "A crumble is a dish of British origin that can be made in a sweet or savoury version, depending on ingredients used. A sweet variety usually contains stewed fruit topped with a crumbly mixture of fat (usually butter), flour, and sugar." What is different from my beloved said Pie?

Hungry for answers.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 04/08/2010 08:51:39
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mydish.co.uk%2Finterface%2Fmembers%2F240670%2F20095199316328-562670-610310-894374.jpg&hash=aabed19a54523b34f710dac74ab54595)


Crumble does not have a pastry base, like a pie does and the top is crumbly rather than pastry.

That one looks like it has oats in the crumble too.

Yum yum yum!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/08/2010 09:03:43

Yes, yes, yum!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Chemistry4me on 04/08/2010 10:40:37
Yo, what's on the menu today?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: imatfaal on 04/08/2010 11:06:09
I think you have cobbler in the states - well; the mixture on the top of crumble is the same as in cobbler but spread out fairly evenly rather than in balls.  crumble is ace.  rhubarb crumble and custard is the comfort food of the gods. 
Matthew

nuts and oats in the crumble ... shudder of delight
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 04/08/2010 19:55:08
Cobbler, something to do with shoes I think? Anyway, today had to be a cobbler myself, as my work shoes suddenly decided that they were soulless, or at least one was sole less, so had to use a little contact adhesive and a few small brads to "persuade" the heel and upper to be good friends, or at least to stick around each other though thick and thin.

As to pie, I do like a good shepherds pie myself, very nice it is. Rhubarb pie too is nice.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 04/08/2010 20:03:33
I thought cobblers were always balls.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/08/2010 02:31:54

 [:o]  [:o]  [:o]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/08/2010 02:36:27


Cobbler, something to do with shoes I think?


At last! A good example of foot-in-mouth!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/08/2010 15:01:14

Yo, what's on the menu today?


Chem, nice to see you again!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 06/08/2010 23:32:13
Yo, what's on the menu today?

EXUBERANT SMILES AND WELCOME BACKS

AND


(evil grin) - Another person to beat up on!!!



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 06/08/2010 23:33:22


Cobbler, something to do with shoes I think?


At last! A good example of foot-in-mouth!



I thought it was hoof-and-mouth disease.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/08/2010 05:22:07

I hoof no answer to that one!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/08/2010 05:29:25


...WELCOME BACKS...


Like this?

          (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.musicranch.ch%2FBilder%2Fpink-floyd-backs-5000178.jpg&hash=8cc08dab1f7e52d3772d1b691ac7589e)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 07/08/2010 17:31:54


...WELCOME BACKS...


Like this?

          (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.musicranch.ch%2FBilder%2Fpink-floyd-backs-5000178.jpg&hash=8cc08dab1f7e52d3772d1b691ac7589e)

Yes, quite so !!! Only closeups and ... er, a spot of tea??
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 07/08/2010 17:38:26

I hoof no answer to that one!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-devil12.gif&hash=0bd627615d91fe9790d998e34d997e9f) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-devil25.gif&hash=8d0c69c2da54fad83c756decf90ba787) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/08/2010 17:51:14



...WELCOME BACKS...


Like this?

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Yes, quite so !!! Only closeups and ... er, a spot of tea??


"Spot of tea"???? JB, stop pretending culture/civilization, you're in Texas, not Great Britain!!!!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 08/08/2010 00:48:39



...WELCOME BACKS...


Like this?

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Yes, quite so !!! Only closeups and ... er, a spot of tea??


"Spot of tea"???? JB, stop pretending culture/civilization, you're in Texas, not Great Britain!!!!!!


You are quite right, my man. But my tea is English, properly brewed from loose tea in a pot (a Brown Betty, to be exact) already hot and served only with milk.

I have been drinking tea like this for 35 years, ever since I lived in University Village within Houston and walked into a shop named "British Market"

My latest tea of favor came via a CARE package from Sheepy. The package included proper biscuits of several types, a tea from Belfast named "Punjava," a box Of Earl Grey from Twinings, a box of P.G. Tips and a new market brand, London Cuppa' which is a delightful "every day" tea. I was so enamored of this last tea I order a kilo.

Any questions, my dear boorish lout?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/08/2010 01:58:41

I sit here cringing, loutish Coffee Bean coffee in hand, slurping loudly, hoping against hope that Sheepy will one day refine/save me too from this Crass Commercial California existence.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/08/2010 20:36:14


WAIT! Exoneration? I am typing this from my kitchen closet:

English Classic Tea (with a piccy of Big Ben on da box!)
Chai Tea

Harrisons & Crosfield
Classic English Tea Merchants
Classic Earl Grey Tea
Imported from England

Plus a dozen or so assorted herbal tea concoctions.

Nyah, nyah!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 09/08/2010 16:36:00


WAIT! Exoneration? I am typing this from my kitchen closet:

English Classic Tea (with a piccy of Big Ben on da box!)
Chai Tea

Harrisons & Crosfield
Classic English Tea Merchants
Classic Earl Grey Tea
Imported from England

Plus a dozen or so assorted herbal tea concoctions.

Nyah, nyah!


In order to be totally cleared of the embarrassment, one must not use tea bags. They are so "lower class." But on occasion we all sacrifice tradition for convenience.

But alas, the Americanization of teas purchased from Harrisons & Crosfield is complete. Their website is described their teas thus: "Harrisons & Crosfield teas are unique as they are blended in England to renowned British tea industry quality levels & American tastes ..."

And this "Twinings English Classic Cold Brewed" just does not sound British. No way, no how.

OH! The ignomy of it all, the shame!

(ignomy - Shakespearean spelling - not the new-fangled cra*py way the pundits have abused it)

Exoneration? - NAY! I say, NAY!

Excriment-aion - most likely. (That is the pun in this post)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 09/08/2010 19:38:29
And there I was today, going past Entyce ( formerly Tea Blenders) and admiring the tea dust emanating out from the extractor fans.

Tea, tea, tea, it just gets on my nerves! To quote from a favourite OTR show I used to listen to - The Men From The Ministry.

I do miss Springers.

Anyhow, I rather like Earl Grey, and am not a fan of most tea bags, as I prefer to use them as firelighters ( soak used ones in paraffin and light), having been exposed to some truly horrible substances masquerading as tea in the past. Worst tasted like pineapple, though that could be because everything had pineapple added, as they were in season and the catering staff had a 10 ton load to use up before it went bad.

I do like a nice coffee, fresh roast is best, but if not then a granule, Nescafe Classic or Jacobs.

Worst is a well known brand catering quality coffee - to make one cup I would add 5 dessertspoons of brown powder/coffee to hot water, stir, add sugar and milk, and still it did not taste like coffee. I did find one person who liked it, strange that, you cannot account for some people's tastes ( or lack therof), though it did make a pretty fair grinding compound.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/08/2010 20:36:31

<sigh> back to Yuban, might as well admit it...even the tea bags in the closet aren't mine...<sheesh>
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/08/2010 23:19:02
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.magiclanterngraphics.com%2Fkangaroo_throwing_boomerang_hg_clr.gif&hash=8bac68202aa235bb7d7fe8b2613aa382)


I forgot how to throw a boomerang, but soon it came back to me.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/08/2010 23:30:12

I do miss Springers.


Consensually, I hope.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 11/08/2010 03:08:10
Only if you have a permit - or license.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 11/08/2010 05:07:10
In order to be totally cleared of the embarrassment, one must not use tea bags. They are so "lower class." But on occasion we all sacrifice tradition for convenience.

But alas, the Americanization of teas purchased from Harrisons & Crosfield is complete. Their website is described their teas thus: "Harrisons & Crosfield teas are unique as they are blended in England to renowned British tea industry quality levels & American tastes ..."

And this "Twinings English Classic Cold Brewed" just does not sound British. No way, no how.

OH! The ignomy of it all, the shame!

(ignomy - Shakespearean spelling - not the new-fangled cra*py way the pundits have abused it)

Exoneration? - NAY! I say, NAY!

Excriment-aion - most likely. (That is the pun in this post)

Silly fellow.

Unless you happen to have a hyperbaric chamber, you can't make proper tea in Austin. You can't get the water hot enough at that elevation.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/08/2010 19:30:35

Silly fellow.

Unless you happen to have a hyperbaric chamber, you can't make proper tea in Austin. You can't get the water hot enough at that elevation.


Thanks, Geezer, I was having trouble beating up on him all by myself.

Besides, couldn't JB just go here?


                (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flh5.ggpht.com%2FEvsMfsF49wWX89mIn2-x-wTPwjfpJZ4FvxOowJtjxZdte3ii2iOkG_wWAoWxk8W-UIgYR4ipCyHx_prBImYoIMNVV95LNIjOJl-UWnPsAgiAitJX-DaZd12Uc7G0Apxo5yALUulLbTl0&hash=602d16233a948d2394626f82466c955c)

                 Elevation Burger
9828 Great Hills Trail, Austin, Texarse 78759-6391
                  (512) 608-4054

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 11/08/2010 23:35:41

Silly fellow.

Unless you happen to have a hyperbaric chamber, you can't make proper tea in Austin. You can't get the water hot enough at that elevation.


Thanks, Geezer, I was having trouble beating up on him all by myself.

Besides, couldn't JB just go here?


                (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flh5.ggpht.com%2FEvsMfsF49wWX89mIn2-x-wTPwjfpJZ4FvxOowJtjxZdte3ii2iOkG_wWAoWxk8W-UIgYR4ipCyHx_prBImYoIMNVV95LNIjOJl-UWnPsAgiAitJX-DaZd12Uc7G0Apxo5yALUulLbTl0&hash=602d16233a948d2394626f82466c955c)

                 Elevation Burger
9828 Great Hills Trail, Austin, Texarse 78759-6391
                  (512) 608-4054



No. He'd need to go spelunking instead.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/08/2010 00:27:17

Yes! I do see the Cave Man thinking style!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 12/08/2010 04:42:01

Silly fellow.

Unless you happen to have a hyperbaric chamber, you can't make proper tea in Austin. You can't get the water hot enough at that elevation.


Thanks, Geezer, I was having trouble beating up on him all by myself.

Besides, couldn't JB just go here?


                (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flh5.ggpht.com%2FEvsMfsF49wWX89mIn2-x-wTPwjfpJZ4FvxOowJtjxZdte3ii2iOkG_wWAoWxk8W-UIgYR4ipCyHx_prBImYoIMNVV95LNIjOJl-UWnPsAgiAitJX-DaZd12Uc7G0Apxo5yALUulLbTl0&hash=602d16233a948d2394626f82466c955c)

                 Elevation Burger
9828 Great Hills Trail, Austin, Texarse 78759-6391
                  (512) 608-4054 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting              (512) 608-4054      end_of_the_skype_highlighting



No. He'd need to go spelunking instead.

Yes! I do see the Cave Man thinking style!


Elevation Burger?? That is like going to McDonald's for gourmet coffee!

--------------------

Thanks for pointing this out, Demo. I do see Geezer's caveman thinking style.

As for whether I can boil a decent cup of tea, well pardon me, sir, BUT I believe you are the one who cannot get the water hot enough, miserable Scottish outcast. At your home, the altitude is 680 meters or 2231 feet. I live at 265 meters (869 feet) Thus to make a proper cup of tea I need heat my water to the astounding temperature of 210.460 F, (99.145 C) whereas you, the skirt wearing crotchety old man in the Selkirk's, must only heat your pot to the ridiculously low temperature 208.015 F (97.786 C)

Considering this, it is self-evident that tea I make will be much, more close to a proper cup of tea than anything said Geezer makes.

(who says we are not scientists here???)

Besides, has anyone ever tried to swallow a mouthful of the despised, contemptible, mean, vile, Scottish Breakfast Tea??? It is the most unpleasant tea to which I have ever subjected myself. It is what I imagine it would be like taste the fresh cut wool from the loins of an un-neutered sire ram. The Scottish Breakfast tea was available for a short while several years ago in a red box but Twinings had the good sense to discontinue this travesty. Taylors of Harrogate has yet to see the error of their ways.

And the two of you - FOR SHAME! & Tisk, tisk. - trying to outdo the master. Hurmph! The sink-holes riddling the karsts of your minds has caused your brains to become like Swiss cheese. Spelunking in those karts would like be wading in a cesspool

Don't Mess With Texas!!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/08/2010 08:09:24


Don't Mess With Texas!!




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Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 12/08/2010 08:10:45
Quote
As for whether I can boil a decent cup of tea, well pardon me, sir, BUT I believe you are the one who cannot get the water hot enough, miserable Scottish outcast. At your home, the altitude is 680 meters or 2231 feet. I live at 265 meters (869 feet) Thus to make a proper cup of tea I need heat my water to the astounding temperature of 210.460 F, (99.145 C) whereas you, the skirt wearing crotchety old man in the Selkirk's, must only heat your pot to the ridiculously low temperature 208.015 F (97.786 C)
 

Jambib, you need to get out more....  [::)]


Quote
(who says we are not scientists here???)

Me..... you are a rock-hugger, that isn't science, in your case it is more like paraphilia  [:P]

Quote
It is the most unpleasant tea to which I have ever subjected myself. It is what I imagine it would be like taste the fresh cut wool from the loins of an un-neutered sire ram.   

What has Neil been sending ewe???  [:o]





Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/08/2010 08:19:04


Quote
(who says we are not scientists here???)


Me..... you are a rock-hugger, that isn't science, in your case it is more like paraphilia  [:P]


Petraphilia is legal in Texas. Or did you mean paraphernalia?? [:0]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 12/08/2010 20:03:33

Petraphilia is legal in Texas. Or did you mean paraphernalia?? [:0]


Well, as Yogi Berra says,

"There's nothing wrong with a bit of incest, as long as you keep it in the family."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/08/2010 21:11:48

Rocks are family???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 12/08/2010 22:21:30
I am in Scotland this week and boy, can they make a cup of tea. They use actual leaves and not scummy tea bags. The most important thing about Tea making is the water and in the North of this wonderful isle it is the best. I climbed Ben Nevis this week and Tea tastes so much better when you've earnt it. So JimBob you need to climb a few mountains in order to appreciate real Tea.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 12/08/2010 22:34:05
I am in Scotland this week and boy, can they make a cup of tea. They use actual leaves and not scummy tea bags. The most important thing about Tea making is the water and in the North of this wonderful isle it is the best. I climbed Ben Nevis this week and Tea tastes so much better when you've earnt it. So JimBob you need to climb a few mountains in order to appreciate real Tea.

My mum was a true officianado of the art. Her fav. was Typhoo - and never in bags.

On one famous occasion in the South of France, she was so pissed off because she couldn't get a decent cup of tea that she went behind the bar in a cafe and showed the bartender how to make it!

I imagine there was still a bit of snow on Ben Nevis this year. It's a dangerous place. The weather can get very ugly in no time at all.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 12/08/2010 22:37:50
We have had beautiful weather in Scotland this week. I had a 180 degree view at the top of Ben and it was sunny for 60% of the climb. No Snow at all due to climate change. I have a large blister and my muscles don't work any more!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 12/08/2010 22:54:36


whereas you, the skirt wearing crotchety old man in the Selkirk's, must only heat your pot to the ridiculously low temperature 208.015 F (97.786 C)



Well, a real geeholergist would know that I live in "the gem state" (unlike "the bull-puckey state" aka Texarse) and that there are a lot of mines here, so I always descend to 50 feet above sea level at tea time.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 13/08/2010 00:36:14


whereas you, the skirt wearing crotchety old man in the Selkirk's, must only heat your pot to the ridiculously low temperature 208.015 F (97.786 C)



Well, a real geeholergist would know that I live in "the gem state" (unlike "the bull-puckey state" aka Texarse) and that there are a lot of mines here, so I always descend to 50 feet above sea level at tea time.

RRRRIIIIGGGGHHHHTTTT  !!!!!

Like I really believe that (snicker!)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 13/08/2010 00:39:37


whereas you, the skirt wearing crotchety old man in the Selkirk's, must only heat your pot to the ridiculously low temperature 208.015 F (97.786 C)



Well, a real geeholergist would know that I live in "the gem state" (unlike "the bull-puckey state" aka Texarse) and that there are a lot of mines here, so I always descend to 50 feet above sea level at tea time.

The Lone Star State, for your information.

And how can Scottish Breakfast tea be even compared to any other real black tea??

Petrophilia gets your rocks off!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 13/08/2010 02:28:08


whereas you, the skirt wearing crotchety old man in the Selkirk's, must only heat your pot to the ridiculously low temperature 208.015 F (97.786 C)



Well, a real geeholergist would know that I live in "the gem state" (unlike "the bull-puckey state" aka Texarse) and that there are a lot of mines here, so I always descend to 50 feet above sea level at tea time.

The Lone Star State, for your information.

And how can Scottish Breakfast tea be even compared to any other real black tea??

Petrophilia gets your rocks off!

Are you busting my stones?


Ah yes. Willie Nelson is the lone star of Texarse.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/08/2010 03:03:16

Petrophilia gets your rocks off!


Are you busting my stones?



                             (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/08/2010 03:07:11


Ah yes. Willie Nelson is the lone star of Texarse.


What about this Texas policewoman? Just a Dolly P. wannabe?

                 (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clumsycrooks.com%2Fbusty.jpg&hash=71002bc02389a6c0046bee3585594be2)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/08/2010 03:13:13


[Reporting from Scotland!]

I have a large blister


OK, OK, I won't ask where...

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/08/2010 03:38:12

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F52b31627c33845d0b6aa216837a26ffc_0.jpg%3Ft%3D1281667380&hash=21e6da2bafbb92f79e5b7a22e958f793)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 13/08/2010 04:59:04
Hot off the wire!

8-12-2010
Austin, TX
Reuters
By Tom Jones

Speaking at his home, the the Speaker of the House's Apartment in the Capital of Texas building,
JimBob was asked about the article concerning a imaginary "feud" between his state and the state of Idaho which appeared in the notoriously erroneous "Punning Times," also know a the flagship name in liberal Yellow Journalism. We quote the most cogent of his very erudite comments.
 
"Now, the nuclear option was not on the board because the sanctions are working. Yet the interference of the liberal press in this matter is causing concern to our Department of State. We disavow all actions and libelous statements made by the worrisome rag and reject any unilateral action on our part.

"We obviously are superior to the man in the Catholic school-girl uniform skirt. We need not defend ourselves."


BESIDES

Demo has too much time on his hands! Doesn't he have a job or a hobby?  What about getting him a pet fish? Can he be trusted with the care of a dog? Bloody hell, what is wrong with this agitator?????? 

It is time for us to seek a home for this elderly, misanthropic troublemaker.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/08/2010 05:59:18
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This just in from CNN!
Friday the 13th, 2010

JimBob arrested outside his House/Home/Apartment for outrageously libelous statements made in the press against St. Demografx, the very first individual ever canonized while still alive.

Police Staff Sgt. M. I. Bigg, Austin PD CKU (Carnal Knowledge Unit), shown above, says she has nothing but contempt for JimBob, who refused to show a good ol' boy Texan-resisting-arrest struggle which she patiently awaited while JB simply allowed the strip-search procedure to go without a struggle. Harrumph!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/08/2010 18:40:43

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpunpunpun.com%2Fimages%2FPoster2010_LargePunOff.jpg&hash=c9a23889e77a38e1714a42b9d6c98977)

Finally, a Claim To Fame
for JimBob's Beloved Austin, TX!!

That's where the World Punning Championship is held!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 13/08/2010 21:11:13
Somehow I think we have gotten our knickers in a knot, gone off the straight and narrow, been punning and oblivious, and have taken the teapot and have thrown it out with the bath water.

Seriously, I think we are punning it on a bit thick, making a mountain out of a teabag, and are bagging each other silly, all over two leaves and a bud originally from Darjeeling, and now, as it is said by some, being pretentious over a mere colour and assorted dissolved solutions of dried and mixed plant leaves that have steeped in hot water.

Tea is a sacred ritual, and the only tea to drink is the one that you prefer, not any other. As the one closest to sea level, at a mere 5m ASL at work ,and at 80m ASL at home, I can guarantee you all that the water is more important than anything else, and living in a city with good quality water is very important, as this influences the taste of the brew considerably.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/08/2010 22:27:53


...solutions of dried and mixed plant leaves that have steeped...


SeanB, this means that the whole thread is in hot water???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/08/2010 22:36:44

I can guarantee you all that the water is more important than anything else, and living in a city with good quality water is very important, as this influences the taste of the brew considerably.


Interesting, Sean. On a serious note <no giggles> it took me _decades_ to find out why my old NYC pizza was so superior to the crappy L.A. pizza.

Yup, it's the water.

Some pizza merchants out here go to significant expense to import the water from NYC, or to filter and re-filter it many times over in order to achieve the same level of quality.

Now THIS is Science!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/08/2010 20:27:42

Demo has too much time on his hands! Doesn't he have a job or a hobby?  What about getting him a pet fish? Can he be trusted with the care of a dog? Bloody hell, what is wrong with this agitator?????? 

It is time for us to seek a home for this elderly, misanthropic troublemaker.


And your point is?

(Harrumph. That'll show him!)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 15/08/2010 03:17:14
Spot-on, sharp, barbed, intrinsically correct.

Pun on, my good fellows, the chase is on for suitable punning material.

Lets begin with the phrase "The clothes are on the Rack"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/08/2010 07:27:23

Especially at the Austin PD.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/08/2010 07:39:15

Pun on, my good fellows


A slap in the face to The Lovely Ladies! Apology!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 15/08/2010 16:56:27
fellow - A member of a literary or scientific society; as, a Fellow of the Royal Society.

This is the TNS punning fellowship. Women are not excluded; far from it.

They are the ones with the racks!   
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 15/08/2010 19:38:40
Fellowship - a gathering of like minded Hobbits, or a group with common aims, hopefully not destined to immolation as the counterpoint to a sad tale of want, determination and really big hairy feet, destined to eat raw fish, and not sushi to be worried about anything  other than a mythical ring said to bind all together.

Somehow I am all tolkiened out, and feel a little like Gollum after loosing the ring.

I hope to avoid the rack though, I feel I have been stretched out enough for the day.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/08/2010 21:33:08
Primary definitions for "fellow":

From The Oxford Dictionary:
fellow (fel·low)

Pronunciation:/ˈfelō/noun

1 informal a man or boy:
he was an extremely obliging fellow

  a boyfriend or lover:
has she got a fellow?


From Princeton University WordNet:

chap: a boy or man; "that chap is your host"; "there's a fellow at the door"; "he's a likable cuss"; "he's a good bloke"

an informal form of address for a man; "Say, fellow, what are you doing?"; "Hey buster, what's up?"

boyfriend: a man who is the lover of a girl or young woman; "if I'd known he was her boyfriend I wouldn't have asked"


From American Heritage Dictionary
fel·low   /ˈfɛloʊ/  Show Spelled[fel-oh]  Show IPA
–noun

1. a man or boy: a fine old fellow; a nice little fellow.

2. Informal . beau; suitor: Mary had her fellow over to meet her folks.


From American Heritage Dictionary Idioms & Phrases

fellow 

see regular guy (fellow); strange bedfellows


From The Free Dictionary:

fel·low (fl)
n.
1.
  a. A man or boy.
 
  b. Informal A boyfriend.


From Roget's Thesaurus: 

Noun 1. fellow - a boy or man; "that chap is your host"; "there's a fellow at the door"; "he's a likable cuss"; "he's a good bloke"
bloke, chap, fella, lad, blighter, feller, gent, cuss
male person, male - a person who belongs to the sex that cannot have babies
dog - informal term for a man; "you lucky dog"


Quick! Apologies now to The Wonderful Ladies of Punning - before it's too late and the punishment goes up a notch!! Take advantage now, gents! (er, I mean fellows)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 15/08/2010 21:36:30
Fella- from the word fellatio   [:P] [;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/08/2010 21:42:10

Fella- from the word fellatio   [:P] [;D]


To My Wonderful Variola Lady/Woman/Female/NonFellow: You took the words right out of my, er, mouth...and you beat me to it!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/08/2010 21:44:36

I would call this absolutely treacherous, unforgivable word-distortion.........WaterFellowgate!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 15/08/2010 22:14:08

Fella- from the word fellatio   [:P] [;D]


To My Wonderful Variola Lady/Woman/Female/NonFellow: You took the words right out of my, er, mouth...and you beat me to it!

[:I] [:I] [:I] awww. You are so much nicer to me than that Jimbob...
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/08/2010 00:57:32

<bowing graciously>
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/08/2010 16:01:32


Lets begin with the phrase "The clothes are on the Rack"



A punny place to hang your clothes

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fd7ee12b8.jpg%3Ft%3D1281904613&hash=05aa794c4d32346af440743a3a130c37)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/08/2010 16:04:57

                    (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmemegenerator.net%2FLame-Pun-Coon%2FImageMacro%2F1156054%2FLame-Pun-Coon-Two-hats-were-hanging-on-a-hat-rack-in-the-hallway-One-hat-says-to-the-other-You-stay-here-Ill-go-on-a-head.jpg&hash=7d151fdc313c6ac62cef096b6e6d4ab0)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 16/08/2010 16:08:57
All freezers are male! Do you know how I know?

"Freezer jolly good fellow, freezer jolly good fellow"

Punning thread fixed and back on track!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/08/2010 16:15:36

LOL, Make it Lady. A hearty welcome rack back!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/08/2010 16:21:06


All freezers are male! Do you know how I know?

"Freezer jolly good fellow, freezer jolly good fellow"

Punning thread fixed and back on track!


          (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbrneurosci.org%2Finfo%2Fterminator2.jpg&hash=0e750dec71682d51253eac7584f44b05)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/08/2010 16:27:20

...Fellowship.....

...I hope to avoid the rack though, I feel I have been stretched out enough for the day.


        (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.offthemarkcartoons.com%2Fcartoons%2F1993-04-22.gif&hash=1327769bbe6861cebcd9252ca2eead62)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/08/2010 16:30:39

And lest we forget.........

          (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F991.com%2FnewGallery%2FBurt-Bacharach-Magic-Moments---T-450490.jpg&hash=d51cbce80031acb2656da5895528e457)

(They didn't have SpellCheck back then)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 16/08/2010 16:56:21

...Fellowship.....

...I hope to avoid the rack though, I feel I have been stretched out enough for the day.


        (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.offthemarkcartoons.com%2Fcartoons%2F1993-04-22.gif&hash=1327769bbe6861cebcd9252ca2eead62)

I'd attach the ropes somewhere else as I like to stretch a point!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/08/2010 20:12:19

But too much stretching and it becomes pointless!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/08/2010 20:30:13


Punning thread fixed and back on track rack!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 17/08/2010 04:27:27


Punning thread fixed and back on track rack!


It took a LONG time to get back to the POINT.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/08/2010 06:22:38

But a pinions are like arse holes - everyone has one.


And everyone thinks everyone else's stinks.


Some people have several.


Geezer was right!
http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i80717
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 17/08/2010 23:18:42
Quote
   

Quote from: JimBob on 09/06/2010 01:00:15

But a pinions are like arse holes - everyone has one.

Quote from: demografx on 09/06/2010 01:09:09

And everyone thinks everyone else's stinks.

Quote from: Geezer on 09/06/2010 01:13:30

Some people have several.


Geezer was right!
http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i80717 


And some people marry theirs too thinking it might change....  [;)]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 17/08/2010 23:51:40
And everyone knows that a psychiatrist cannot change a light bulb unless the light bulb REALLY wants to change.

That is why Geezer is so dull.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/08/2010 03:03:12

1st Kid:
How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?

2nd Kid:
I dunno, how many?

1st Kid:
I'm going to ride my bicycle now.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 18/08/2010 04:49:13
It sounds as if 'add' is less.

That is mathematically impossible except in theoretical numbers.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 18/08/2010 08:10:54
Quote
That is mathematically impossible except in theoretical numbers.
   

FFS! Stop ogling rocks all day and get out more....!


How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

10- 1 to change it and 9 to write a paper entitled "Coping with darkness"  [;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/08/2010 20:46:34

Haha!! Variola strikes again!! [;D] [;D] [;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/08/2010 20:52:50

Quote
That is mathematically impossible except in theoretical numbers.


FFS! Stop ogling rocks all day and get out more....!


Like this, Var?

         (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flh4.ggpht.com%2F_WmATPiE0GtE%2FSOJNPa5Uf8I%2FAAAAAAAAAZQ%2Fbdj-SnweCes%2FIMG_2200.JPG&hash=bdfecce763bcadf7ebfad91de3bc9765)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/08/2010 20:55:42

10 [psychiatrists]- 1 to change it [the lightbulb] and 9 to write a paper entitled "Coping with darkness"  [;D]


Yep. And here it is!
http://www.mysticaljudaism.org/Coping_With_Darkness.pdf
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 18/08/2010 22:47:19
It sounds as if 'add' is less.

That is mathematically impossible except in theoretical numbers.

I am trying to get the thread back to PUNS!!! The above WAS a pun of the previous message.

So what does it take to refocus on puns?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 18/08/2010 22:50:23
Quote
So what does it take to refocus on puns?
 

Twiddling the knob usually sets the focus ok for me...  [;)]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/08/2010 23:06:25
JimBob is right!!! We've lost our way!!! Let's all refocus on
 
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.irregardless.net%2Fpunster%2Fpuns-punspunspuns.jpg&hash=2494fab246d286bcd53fb7a2187eefd8)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fi_heart_puns_tshirt-p235116072170340465qw9u_400.jpg&hash=27a2da09b8581ec83b58329e09591e0c)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.irregardless.net%2Fpunster%2Fpuns-punspunspuns.jpg&hash=2494fab246d286bcd53fb7a2187eefd8)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fi_heart_puns_tshirt-p235116072170340465qw9u_400.jpg&hash=27a2da09b8581ec83b58329e09591e0c)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.irregardless.net%2Fpunster%2Fpuns-punspunspuns.jpg&hash=2494fab246d286bcd53fb7a2187eefd8)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fi_heart_puns_tshirt-p235116072170340465qw9u_400.jpg&hash=27a2da09b8581ec83b58329e09591e0c)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.irregardless.net%2Fpunster%2Fpuns-punspunspuns.jpg&hash=2494fab246d286bcd53fb7a2187eefd8)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fi_heart_puns_tshirt-p235116072170340465qw9u_400.jpg&hash=27a2da09b8581ec83b58329e09591e0c)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.irregardless.net%2Fpunster%2Fpuns-punspunspuns.jpg&hash=2494fab246d286bcd53fb7a2187eefd8)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fi_heart_puns_tshirt-p235116072170340465qw9u_400.jpg&hash=27a2da09b8581ec83b58329e09591e0c)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.irregardless.net%2Fpunster%2Fpuns-punspunspuns.jpg&hash=2494fab246d286bcd53fb7a2187eefd8)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fi_heart_puns_tshirt-p235116072170340465qw9u_400.jpg&hash=27a2da09b8581ec83b58329e09591e0c)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.irregardless.net%2Fpunster%2Fpuns-punspunspuns.jpg&hash=2494fab246d286bcd53fb7a2187eefd8)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fi_heart_puns_tshirt-p235116072170340465qw9u_400.jpg&hash=27a2da09b8581ec83b58329e09591e0c)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.irregardless.net%2Fpunster%2Fpuns-punspunspuns.jpg&hash=2494fab246d286bcd53fb7a2187eefd8)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fi_heart_puns_tshirt-p235116072170340465qw9u_400.jpg&hash=27a2da09b8581ec83b58329e09591e0c)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cartoonstock.com%2Flowres%2Fcza0340l.jpg&hash=769e786c81cfd80c2a704ac76f6f8128)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/08/2010 23:08:37

Quote
So what does it take to refocus on puns?


Twiddling the knob usually sets the focus ok for me...  [;)]


 [:o] [:o] [:o]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/08/2010 23:18:30

If we're still talking about a rack, is it true that it contains weapons of mass destruction??



              (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.newworldencyclopedia.org%2Fe%2Fee%2FIraq_map.png&hash=46ec87f252824822e11778dc631f92ad)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 18/08/2010 23:33:04
Quote
So what does it take to refocus on puns?
 

Twiddling the knob usually sets the focus ok for me...  [;)]

Isn't that a bit like what the Irish girl said to her sisters when the photographer kept asking them to get closer to the camera? OK - I remember now. What she said was,

"He's trying to focus."


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 18/08/2010 23:33:30
My rack is


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages5.cpcache.com%2Fproduct%2F252587425v4_480x480_Front_Color-Black.jpg&hash=a2299f5ddecca4e55a43d8aa1d6cc1fd)

( I actually have a T-shirt very similar to that)  [:)]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/08/2010 00:49:04
Variola, don't forget, this is a sharing thread.  And that comes in handy. [:)]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/08/2010 00:51:54
Quote
So what does it take to refocus on puns?
 

Twiddling the knob usually sets the focus ok for me...  [;)]

Isn't that a bit like what the Irish girl said to her sisters when the photographer kept asking them to get closer to the camera? OK - I remember now. What she said was,

"He's trying to focus."




Brilliant, Geezer! You just came up with a motto for the Fellows Of This Thread, "Focus Or Leave Us!"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/08/2010 00:54:12

Of course, let's not forget JimBob for firstly getting us back on rack with focus!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 19/08/2010 02:59:24
Not to mention getting Pox in hand!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/08/2010 04:46:18

Pox-in-hand? Is that curable? Contagious?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 19/08/2010 08:11:20
A pox in the hand is worth 2 in the bush.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/08/2010 17:42:56

 [:o] [:o] [:o]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/08/2010 17:45:29

But Var, then you gave up the bird!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 19/08/2010 18:53:53
A pox in the hand is worth 2 in the bush.

Whose bush? George WWWWWWWW?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/08/2010 21:51:12

No. Since they are from Texas, she must be referring to JimBob's!  [:o]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/08/2010 01:42:03


A pox in the hand is worth 2 in the bush.


 [:o] [:o] [:o]


But Var, then you gave up the bird!


See? Even (First) Lady Bird Johnson was from Texas! This PROVES that all fingers point to JimBob Bush.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/08/2010 02:47:14

This is nerve wracking.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 20/08/2010 02:57:34

No. Since they are from Texas, she must be referring to JimBob's!  [:o]

And obviously Demo is wracking his brain (if that is what hydrocephalics have) to make that far of a stretch.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/08/2010 05:00:34

Highly inaccurate. No stretch marks whatsoever.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 20/08/2010 14:35:50


A pox in the hand is worth 2 in the bush.


 [:o] [:o] [:o]


But Var, then you gave up the bird!


See? Even (First) Lady Bird Johnson was from Texas! This PROVES that all fingers point to JimBob Bush.



If Jimbob has a bush how can he be a man? And if he has got one I am not pointing my finger anywhere near it...!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/08/2010 20:32:07
                   (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)


(sorry about the shoes, Var, but I did order a new pair off-the-RACK)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 21/08/2010 01:07:00

Highly inaccurate. No stretch marks whatsoever.

See? a wrinkle-less brain.

And Var, we need to be charitable to the retard.

OOOHH, I am sooo politically incorrect.

And I certainly have no bush or rack.

Unless the 12-point one on the dead deer on the wall counts.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/08/2010 02:32:10
My rack is


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages5.cpcache.com%2Fproduct%2F252587425v4_480x480_Front_Color-Black.jpg&hash=a2299f5ddecca4e55a43d8aa1d6cc1fd)

( I actually have a T-shirt very similar to that)  [:)]


Variola, if this is true, then you must conform to international rules and convention, which stipulate frequent examination and inspection.

But don't worry, you're in good hands!  [:)]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 22/08/2010 18:47:30
What does Allstate Insurance have to do with it??

For the non-American see http://www.allstate.com/   (Company Motto "You are in good hands with Allstate" - see logo)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/08/2010 20:40:16


It's Variola's insurance policy against excessive hanky panky during required inspection. [:)]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 23/08/2010 23:05:25
I am certain I replied to this post. Where has that reply gone?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/08/2010 23:43:07

I didn't see it, JB.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/08/2010 05:12:10

Could Geezer have made off with it for posting to a secret Scottish forum??? [:o] [:o] [:o]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/08/2010 19:37:38
Speaking of "made off", have I got an investment for you! Yes! Guaranteed annual returns!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 24/08/2010 20:18:20

Could Geezer have made off with it for posting to a secret Scottish forum??? [:o] [:o] [:o]

They are doing a play, which shall remain nameless.

Here Spot, good dogie -  Now - Out, out, damned Spot!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 24/08/2010 20:36:59

Highly inaccurate. No stretch marks whatsoever.

See? a wrinkle-less brain.

And Var, we need to be charitable to the retard.

OOOHH, I am sooo politically incorrect.

And I certainly have no bush or rack.

Unless the 12-point one on the dead deer on the wall counts.


Apparently the street use Remtard as it is a combination of retard and remedial. I guess trying to make you politically correct would be a backward move!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 24/08/2010 20:38:32
Sheepy has a good rack. Rack of lamb gaaaaaa! droool!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 25/08/2010 00:05:42
Mutton mess with Sheepy. Underneath the wool he carries an assault rifle.

 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/08/2010 20:17:34
(Re-posted due to inordinate lack of creativity today!)

                         (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi287.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fll149%2Fimflitterhead%2FAsaultwithweapon.jpg&hash=e781102e44f72ac2dae9da80f2eca3fb)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/08/2010 20:19:52

Sheepy has a good rack. Rack of lamb gaaaaaa! droool!


We prefer yours.
.
.
.
.
.
.
 [:o]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/08/2010 20:25:45

(Originating drooling duly noted and reciprocated)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 26/08/2010 22:44:55
I'm trying to reduce my waistline by dieting but sadly it is going from my boobs first!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 27/08/2010 01:15:13
I'm trying to reduce my waistline by dieting but sadly it is going from my boobs first!

I will help you hold them up. JimBob's Hand Bra Service available at nominal costs. Write for details.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/08/2010 01:26:24

I'm trying to reduce my waistline by dieting but sadly it is going from my boobs first!


I will help you hold them up. JimBob's Hand Bra Service available at nominal costs. Write for details.


Don't do it, Make it Lady, I heard complaints from all over that the service just doesn't hold up under pressure!!

Even more laid back than California businesses!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 27/08/2010 08:35:17
I'm trying to reduce my waistline by dieting but sadly it is going from my boobs first!

I wish it would go from mine!!!!! My waistline doesn't appear to be reducing either. Feck knows where it is going from, maybe it is because I shaved my armpits rather than plaiting the hair!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/08/2010 09:37:04
My Mrs said she would help me loose weight. So far I’ve put on 7lbs and she’s lost 12lbs. A net loss of 5lbs, I thought that was a good result, she does not share my opinion and has made an appointment for me with a French surgeon. Apparently from a long line of practioners in her family, she will help me loose 10lbs of ugly fat in one session.

Sounds like a real ‘chip off the old block’ this Madame Le Guillotine.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 28/08/2010 04:03:33
My Mrs said she would help me loose weight. So far I’ve put on 7lbs and she’s lost 12lbs. A net loss of 5lbs, I thought that was a good result, she does not share my opinion and has made an appointment for me with a French surgeon. Apparently from a long line of practioners in her family, she will help me loose 10lbs of ugly fat in one session.

Sounds like a real ‘chip off the old block’ this Madame Le Guillotine.


Perhaps Don, it is more like a cut of the old ham. (Or mutton??????????????????????? Neil)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 28/08/2010 04:58:17
I'm trying to reduce my waistline by dieting but sadly it is going from my boobs first!

I will help you hold them up. JimBob's Hand Bra Service available at nominal costs. Write for details.


Be warned. JimBob's service requires that he weighs them first.

Wwaaahhhhhaaaaaayyyy!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 28/08/2010 17:41:14
That is fine, I am adept at heavy lifting.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/08/2010 19:44:47

I'm trying to reduce my waistline by dieting but sadly it is going from my boobs first!


I wish it would go from mine!!!!!


Noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/08/2010 20:01:22

    (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cartoonstock.com%2Flowres%2Fvsh0119l.jpg&hash=6827330b8b23331b22f8e564473b2101)



Be warned. JimBob's service requires that he weighs them first.

Wwaaahhhhhaaaaaayyyy!


This brings up a serious question regarding measurement accuracy!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Bored chemist on 29/08/2010 10:59:30
If she turns round does she get a bit behind with the orders?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 29/08/2010 18:50:10
I hear Jimbob has a "Bit Behind" service as well as "Hand Bra." I have also heard that he offers both services at once for a discount. (When I first typed this I left the O out of Discount....OOOPs)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/08/2010 21:50:28

MiL, yes! His firm has all angles covered!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/08/2010 02:13:04

If she turns round does she get a bit behind with the orders?


No. Only with the odors.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/08/2010 02:25:49

    (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cartoonstock.com%2Flowres%2Fvsh0119l.jpg&hash=6827330b8b23331b22f8e564473b2101)



Be warned. JimBob's service requires that he weighs them first.

Wwaaahhhhhaaaaaayyyy!


This brings up a serious question regarding measurement accuracy!


I notice that Don and Bored Chemist have yet to weigh in on the matter.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/08/2010 03:04:29
BEST WISHES TO JIMBOB FOR A SPEEDY-AS-POSSIBLE RECOVERY!

(See new "JimBob" thread)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/09/2010 02:56:34

          (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bandofcats.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2007%2F12%2Fpictures-of-cats_dax-big-yawn_03.jpg&hash=bf1b4f2c893bc85294d9ab80f0380350)


Is it true women like men who yawn?

No actually. Sighs don’t matter.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/09/2010 22:47:28


Well, as Yogi Berra says,

"There's nothing wrong with a bit of incest, as long as you keep it in the family."


Geezer, the lady bug mated with her ant. It was an insectuous relationship. Is that what you mean?

JimBob:       Would you sleep with one of your relatives?

Geezer:       Only if I had a nap kin.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 06/09/2010 20:20:37
A guy is sitting in a pub, staring morosely at the full glass in front of him. His contemplation is rudely interrupted by the arrival at his stool of a garrulous drunk, who proceeds to berate him, before downing his drink and staggering off.

The barkeep comes over, to find the man weeping softly. He says to the guy to cheer up, he will give him a free drink.

The guy looks at the barkeep, and says: " Today I got fired from my job for 15 years. I came home early, to find my wife in bed with the garbage man. She told me to get out, and that she was divorcing me, and our 2 children were the garbage mans. I walked out, to find the repo man there, telling me that the bank was taking the house, the car and freezing my accounts. I had a few bucks in my pocket, and went to the bar, where I am now. I wanted to end it all, but am such a failure, I even had some guy drink the poison I was trying to get the courage to drink."

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/09/2010 01:49:41
Sean, here's the guy.......

         (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fboozenews.ca%2Fnucleus%2Fmedia%2F1%2F20060811-BarDrunkFallDown.jpg&hash=5dd1213b002179b3a7f1ac0d18090e24)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 08/09/2010 20:16:45
Ah, the heady days of our youth, where we had a seemingly unquenchable thirst for alcoholic beverages, a bladder with limitless capacity and an unerring ability to find a source of free booze.............

DARN IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/09/2010 03:53:46
I know, Sean, I too, long for the GOOD OLD DAYS of health, happiness and boundless joy!!!

       (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwintersoldier1.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F08%2Fhangover1.jpg&hash=e83fdc7d37b4f50f33bd58659d5cd941)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 09/09/2010 13:11:43
The best part of it all was trying next to clean the bathroom while contending with the hangover resulting from the previous night's revelry and worship of the Great Porcelain God we worshiped just hours before.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 09/09/2010 20:05:22
I was never that bad! Though I did have a bit of trouble with Mulled wine, it kept on exploding.

We solved that one, by the application of some fine engineering - we wired the bottle tops on, like the French use for the sparkling wines. Result was batch 2 had a much reduced probability of popping it's top, though a few of the plastic 2l bottles did detonate, though luckily not when we were around. Was not at all bad, though I did prefer ciders, Woodpecker being the best, not the modern sweet ones. I think I drank a case one night......... The off sales loved us though.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 10/09/2010 01:06:40
Mead!

Nuff said.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/09/2010 05:32:48

I had to look that up.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 10/09/2010 14:25:12
Oh the shame of it all. The lack of a decent education in the US again shows through.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 10/09/2010 20:27:11
There is education in the USA???????

I thought that it all consisted of blonde bimbo's worrying over the state of hair, and jocks with the same preoccupation. Add in a few capable of walking and chewing gum, and there you had it.

At least here the teachers are on strike, the pupils are on holiday, the few who want to study are doing so, and the department of education has still not sent out the curriculum for this year - they are looking for a cleft stick of correct dimensions, as well as the right kind of post stone.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/09/2010 06:09:18

He said I was average - but he was just being mean.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 15/09/2010 06:58:31
The local landowner, Edmondo Finknottle Snodgass Marjoribanks (pronounced Chumley), or "Stinky" to his pals, and his gamekeeper were out hiking around their extensive policies, which were so vast that they had to use a map. It was getting a bit late, and the landowner decided they better head back to the manor house for some crumpet. The game keeper consulted the map and pointed out two ways they could take.

The landowner looked at the two paths and said "I think we better take the second one. We really don't want to find ourselves caught on the first."

To which the gamekeeper said,

"What does that route mean Squire Ed?"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/09/2010 01:11:07



To which the gamekeeper said,

"What does that route mean Squire Ed?"


Squire Ed replied to the gamekeeper (whose friends call him "RMS") that the magnitude of the first route means it might take forever to get back to the manor in time for crumpet.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 16/09/2010 04:28:11
Johnny's mother was admonishing him, yet again, for bolting his food.

"Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you. Do not swallow your meat until it's been amply chewed!"

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/09/2010 06:26:58

Johnny's problem is not only with his food being amply chewed, but the frequency with which this happens!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 16/09/2010 17:54:24
If he keeps it up, he's going to get smacked where it really hertz.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 16/09/2010 22:34:59
Johnny's mom is called Maude, so he's going to get maudulated.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/09/2010 23:21:41

Johnny is certainly a generator of all sorts of trouble!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/09/2010 03:31:16
               (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.neatoshop.com%2Fimages%2Fproduct%2F59%2F459%2FMath-Puns-are-the-First-Sine-of-Madness_1869-l.jpg&hash=da30fdb88c3bb20a4702256847dc5602)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 17/09/2010 04:03:04
My pub has one of these hanging above the door.

[diagram=601_0]


It's a bar sign.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/09/2010 16:42:11


As due diligence, I followed up and checked on your bar sign, Geezer, and I only saw one over the men's room urinal:

We Aim To Please
You Aim Too, Please


So now I will check out The Pistol Dawn Bar
(Drink till 3, pistol dawn)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/09/2010 16:49:52

My greatest sphere is that the Earth is round.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 18/09/2010 00:52:57
Hyspherical!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/09/2010 19:45:49

Now is not the time for hyspheria.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 19/09/2010 05:54:43
Great! So now you've gone all botanical on us.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/09/2010 04:59:35


That's funny, Geezer, sometimes you flora me! [;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/09/2010 10:30:43
Oh! Very fauny.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/09/2010 23:15:41


How did the botanist, after dealing with fertilizer, clean her hands?

She had a manure-cure

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 21/09/2010 00:41:17
Now you've gong and dung it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/09/2010 05:59:30

OK, but don't get pissed over it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/09/2010 06:22:47


That's funny, Geezer, sometimes you flora me! [;D]



Oh! Very fauny.


           [;D]


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/09/2010 17:41:46


There is education in the USA???????


Yes, of course, Sean. For example, we wear glasses while learning math because it improves division.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 21/09/2010 20:29:45



There is education in the USA???????


Yes, of course, Sean. For example, we wear glasses while learning math because it improves divison.



..but, evidently, not dispelling.  [;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: peppercorn on 21/09/2010 20:55:43
I find mult liquor is a factor in my mathematical product-ivity.
After a mult everything is more pliable !
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/09/2010 21:35:26


There is education in the USA???????


Yes, of course, Sean. For example, we wear glasses while learning math because it improves division (mod edit - corrected sp).



..but, evidently, not dispelling.  [;D]


Witch?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/09/2010 21:49:16

I find mult liquor is a factor in my mathematical product-ivity.
After a mult everything is more pliable !


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftherattrick.com%2Ffiles%2F2009%2F08%2Fglass-of-beer1.jpg&hash=e898464a68d575916d587980d57a888a)

...and after a few.......even mistakes mult   i   ply!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 21/09/2010 23:36:05


There is education in the USA???????


Yes, of course, Sean. For example, we wear glasses while learning math because it improves division (mod edit - corrected sp).



..but, evidently, not dispelling.  [;D]


Witch?



Actually, I'm more of a whizzard.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/09/2010 01:50:50



There is education in the USA???????


Yes, of course, Sean. For example, we wear glasses while learning math because it improves divison.



..but, evidently, not dispelling.  [;D]


Dispelling of miths is important to me.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/09/2010 01:55:57


There is education in the USA???????


Yes, of course, Sean. For example, we wear glasses while learning math because it improves division (mod edit - corrected sp).



..but, evidently, not dispelling.  [;D]


Witch?



Actually, I'm more of a whizzard.


Of Ozz, apparentlee.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/09/2010 08:36:17
Witches? Wizards? Its all a load of Warlocks.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/09/2010 15:10:22

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fwicked_witches_brothel_dog_shirt-p15538065733959940722hfo_400.jpg&hash=604055a4ed951fb35f796c103f2004b0)

Don, let's thank Geezer for getting us these souvenir tee-shirts from his last vacation!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/09/2010 16:31:12
The tee shirts were OK, but obviously the 'Ladies' were a ruff load of old dogs!

That Geezer must be barking!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/09/2010 20:19:27

Yes, and up the wrong tree!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 23/09/2010 05:54:37
The tee shirts were OK, but obviously the 'Ladies' were a ruff load of old dogs!

That Geezer must be barking!

No, but close - the Isle of Dogs.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/09/2010 08:52:32


Can ine give Sir a little pleasure?

 [ Invalid Attachment ]

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/09/2010 18:04:22
What's wrong Geezer? Have you had to paws for thought?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/09/2010 20:27:25

Don, I think he's just catching his breath, he's had breeding problems.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/09/2010 20:33:43


Doggone it, now I can't find my glasses....
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 23/09/2010 21:37:15
I'm still waiting for Don to explain, though I say it myself, my quite brilliant allusion to barking.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/09/2010 04:12:16


Can ine give Sir a little pleasure?

 [ Invalid Attachment ]



Geezer, you lucky dog, you! <wink>

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/09/2010 10:09:01
I'm still waiting for Don to explain, though I say it myself, my quite brilliant allusion to barking.

That's a tale I'd rather forget.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/09/2010 19:10:51

I'm lost. Has this place gone to the dogs?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/09/2010 19:12:28

Did you hear about the insomniac who is also dyslexic and agnostic?

Stays up all night wondering whether there really is a Dog.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/09/2010 19:56:23



I'm still waiting for Don to explain, though I say it myself, my quite brilliant allusion to barking.


mod edit:
That's a tale tail I'd rather forget.



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 24/09/2010 22:09:39
Hey! I just watched that new movie Abattoir. It's in 3-D too!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/09/2010 00:15:22

Stumped, Geezer...
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 27/09/2010 00:46:28

Stumped, Geezer...


More likely stunned I'd think. This thread is turning into a proper shambles.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 27/09/2010 07:44:07
or maybe people are just too knackered to post.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/09/2010 16:38:13



Hey! I just watched that new movie Abattoir. It's in 3-D too!


Geezer, what I meant was that I was stumped by your punning meaning directly above - ("Abattoir and 3-D").


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 27/09/2010 16:49:10



Hey! I just watched that new movie Abattoir. It's in 3-D too!


Geezer, what I meant was that I was stumped by your punning meaning directly above - ("Abattoir and 3-D").




A clue http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0499549/  [;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/09/2010 17:54:59
That was a clue?

You need to be a detective to work out that clue so
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/09/2010 18:09:24

Haha!!  [;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 27/09/2010 19:06:57
That was a clue?

You need to be a detective to work out that clue so

Zat is vi a am at La Sûreté, Monsieur.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/09/2010 02:43:21


                                 ?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 28/09/2010 04:33:33




                                 ?

Oh! Don't go looking for the pun. I don't think there is one.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/09/2010 20:16:40

                                 ?


Oh! Don't go looking for the pun. I don't think there is one.


Ahem, Inspector Clouseau, I am certain that we will find one. We only need to do some careful detective work!!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/09/2010 21:53:28


                                 ?

Yep, I found a pun for this:-

                                 !

How does that grab you?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/09/2010 23:18:46


                    ?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/09/2010 23:42:20

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.star-astronomy.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2Fstar-astronomy.jpg&hash=8228a9c6f9e07e6fe868d2a7fe822155)



In my college years I thought about studying astronomy, but I knew I would just be taking up space.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/09/2010 00:39:30
Not to worry, I suppose you didn't plan et.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/09/2010 01:06:38

No, it was a completely different world to me.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/09/2010 05:40:09

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.yogamax.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2008%2F12%2Fswami-ramdev.jpg&hash=01ca4dca1797ef44ceccf205f6f44618)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcolinwetherbee.com%2Fimages%2Fhot-dog-vendor.jpg&hash=01f244940f1cebdaccdb884d91dbea42)


The Swami goes up to the hot dog vendor and says:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

(ready?)
.
.
.


"Make me one with everything".
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/09/2010 12:13:40
Quote from: Thomas Edison

I have seen the light.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/09/2010 17:47:24
Quote from: Thomas Edison

I have seen the light.


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/09/2010 17:54:30

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.yogamax.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2008%2F12%2Fswami-ramdev.jpg&hash=01ca4dca1797ef44ceccf205f6f44618)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcolinwetherbee.com%2Fimages%2Fhot-dog-vendor.jpg&hash=01f244940f1cebdaccdb884d91dbea42)

The Swami goes up to the hot dog vendor and says:

"Make me one with everything".


So the Swami gives the vendor a $20 bill, and after a while says, "Where's my change?"

The hot dog vendor pauses to think, then says, "Change comes from within"...as the Swami wistfully walks away.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 29/09/2010 18:05:12
Swami how I love ya, how I love ya
My dear old Swami
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/09/2010 19:22:41

Al, you're baaaaack!! You and I both said, "California Here I Come!"

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 29/09/2010 19:26:35
she is at home sucking a minstrel (UK. Chocolate sweets)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/09/2010 19:48:33


Mammy? Indeed, how sweet it is!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/09/2010 06:25:19


Scientists allow us to see the sun in a different light.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 30/09/2010 16:56:18
That last pun doesn't regard the sun as a burning issue so should be receive with a black hole of mirth.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/09/2010 22:19:43


Make it Lady, I'm still waiting for you to finish my paint job. All talk. [;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/09/2010 22:21:34



Did you know that Geezer once got fired from his job as a software engineer? He just couldn't get with the program.



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 30/09/2010 23:33:47


Make it Lady, I'm still waiting for you to finish my paint job. All talk. [;D]

I thought she was polishing (door)knobs for you.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/10/2010 00:35:37

Make it Lady, I'm still waiting for you to finish my paint job. All talk. [;D]


I thought she was polishing (door)knobs for you.


Dang, JimBob, thank you for keeping me up-to-date!! What would we do without your terrific geological approach here???

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/10/2010 00:38:01
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.phg-uk.com%2Fadmin1%2Fimage%2F0038bloxwich%2520knob%2520set.JPG&hash=c66663ceff574d08c8268347b98e8dc2)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/10/2010 02:56:44


An angry bird landed on a door knob. Then flew off the handle.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/10/2010 15:40:06
It must have been very startling for him.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/10/2010 16:11:29

OK, Don, ready for a real groaner?
.
.
.
.
.
After being treated by an optometrist, the bird seed.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 01/10/2010 17:23:06
A,B,C,D goldfish?
M,N,O goldfish
S,D,R goldfish
R,D,L goldfish
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/10/2010 17:47:36
F U N E M N X?

S, V F M N X.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 01/10/2010 17:54:12
...but we have no bananas today.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/10/2010 20:12:28



...I'm so lost....sigh.....
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 01/10/2010 23:07:05
It's like text speak but came before texts were invented. apparently love letters in the 19th century used this type of notation. demo just read the letters really quickly and they sound like words.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 02/10/2010 06:03:59
It's like text speak but came before texts were invented. apparently love letters in the 19th century used this type of notation. demo just read the letters really quickly and they sound like words.

Whale oil be damned!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 02/10/2010 06:13:51
we have no bananas today.

V F N O bananas today
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/10/2010 12:21:52
UB40

I wish I was, but I B alot older than that.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/10/2010 20:50:20


I M SX E
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/10/2010 20:54:21

It's like text speak but came before texts were invented. apparently love letters in the 19th century used this type of notation. demo just read the letters really quickly and they sound like words.


Thanks much!

See? You were wrong: there  _is_ womankind  [;)]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/10/2010 11:18:41
Well oil be damned!

Isn't that what Tony Hayward (http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/tony-hayward) said?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 04/10/2010 17:11:57
Well oil be damned!

Isn't that what Tony Hayward (http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/tony-hayward) said?

LOL!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/10/2010 22:02:39

Oil executives are always using crude language.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: geo driver on 05/10/2010 02:29:08
le Bastille is amazing of is that just a phalisy
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/10/2010 14:40:42

One phalisy here is Make it Lady's blow torch. Hard to fathom.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/10/2010 18:43:06

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.howstuffworks.com%2Fgif%2Fghost-stories-hotel3.jpg&hash=ce59442a3e73e74c19a713d76869055d)

Halloween is coming soon...

An elevator makes ghosts happy because it lifts the spirits.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 06/10/2010 18:47:19

One phalisy here is Make it Lady's blow torch. Hard to fathom.
oi flower stop casting nasturtiums on my character.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/10/2010 19:53:03

Make it Lady, I apologize for the flower derangement. So let's kiss and make up: tulips are better than one.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 07/10/2010 05:57:59
I knew it was just be a matter of time until we bring again two lips from hamster jam.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/10/2010 06:56:48

                             (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)


Funny then. Funny now.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/10/2010 08:35:19
I knew it was just be a matter of time until we bring again two lips from hamster jam.

AGHHhhh! You rotter, damn you for preserving that one.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/10/2010 22:03:48


Forbidden fruit causes many jams.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/10/2010 22:07:38
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.punarama.co.uk%2Fimages%2Fpuns%2Fhamster-dam.jpg&hash=3d7041c50938e28b321cc224c0aaf17e)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 08/10/2010 08:17:48
Sammy met a tram and the tram met Sammy.
The tram was jammy.
The jam was Sammy.

Oh, what a mess!

(No pun intended, or even present, but I thought it was relevant. BTW, for Demo's benefit, a "tram" is a streetcar.)

(There are similar tales concerning Algie and Bessie)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 08/10/2010 08:24:41
Here is a reverse pun that is related in a certain way to the prior post. What's the connection, and what was the original line?

"We're sliding a gong on the breast of a slave."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 08/10/2010 17:45:40
Here is a reverse pun that is related in a certain way to the prior post. What's the connection, and what was the original line?

"We're sliding a gong on the breast of a slave."
I think this is the pun ch line to a joke.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/10/2010 18:43:23


The galley slaves were taking a rest after a full day rowing under merciless sun with the sound of the slave driver's gong still ringing in their ears.

"It's not the captain's waterskiing that bothers me so much" said one slave to his shipmate. "It's that gong, gong, gong every two seconds. I'm going to get rid of it"
The slaves decide that under cover of darkness, they would lift the gong from its chains and throw it overboard.

"We can't do it like that" suggested one of the plotters "They would be sure to hear us - we'll have to find a way to slip it quietly into the water".
So that night, six of the slaves lifted the heavy gong and carried it carefully to the stern of the galley - but there was no way to slip the gong into the water without banging it noisily on the boat.

"I have it! - I'll slip under the rail and hold on with my back to the stern, then I will act as a slide for you to ease the gong over my body and quietly into the water", said the brightest of the slaves.

This was working perfectly, when suddenly the slave driver appeared behind the plotters. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he shouted. To a man, the men sprang to attention, and burst into song ...

One, two, three -

"We're sliding a gong on the chest of a slave ...."

 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/10/2010 18:48:49


(https://www.funnytimes.com/archives/files/art/20020515.jpg)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 09/10/2010 19:12:08
There is a musical connection

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 09/10/2010 23:18:34
daw-gone-it, I wish I had a gong joke.



Or is this the Gong Show??
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/10/2010 01:15:56

Ha!! You just gave away your AGE, JimBob!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 10/10/2010 15:16:52

Ha!! You just gave away your AGE, JimBob!

And since you got the reference, SO DID YOU!   [;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 10/10/2010 15:19:02
Teddie bares - Love them!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/10/2010 06:44:44

Ha!! You just gave away your AGE, JimBob!


And since you got the reference, SO DID YOU!   [;D]


Hmm....yes...true...but....but....I had to....er....LOOK IT UP! YES! THAT'S WHAT I HAD TO DO!! HONEST!!!!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/10/2010 06:49:15

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.tvtropes.org%2Fpmwiki%2Fpub%2Fimages%2F14_myths_legends_myths_legends_chuck_barris_gong_show.jpg&hash=307e72092e6239f5df8a1e2afe6611e1)

           1976
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/10/2010 06:58:15

Teddie bares - Love them!


At one time, we had our beary own Teddie as a President.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/10/2010 00:19:16


I think Iowa 'bout five dollars in sales Texas.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/10/2010 12:32:21
Oh dear, we're not going to go through the song are we???

What did Delaware boy what did Delaware? She wore a brand New Jersey.
What did Missisip blah blah She sipped a Mini soda.
Where has Oregon - gone to pay her taxes (Texas)
Perry Como (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NztfOSyCCFM)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 14/10/2010 04:41:32
I think I am going to have a Jersey (a cow) if this goes on and on.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/10/2010 08:30:51
"Stand on thisy here rock 'n you can see it son".

"No need Pa, Arkansas it from here".
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 14/10/2010 18:46:26
I think I am going to have a Jersey (a cow) if this goes on and on.

I'm not sure the stress would be good for you JB. I think we should see what your nurse thinks. Alaska and let you know.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 14/10/2010 21:41:13
True, if I had a cow there would be placenta to think and talk about.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/10/2010 00:17:30



I think I am going to have a Jersey (a cow) if this goes on and on.


JimBob is right! Let's broaden our horizons and go....International!

So here's one that will make everyone gag proud!

When you're Hungary, you're nothing Budapest.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 15/10/2010 03:04:00
OK - you asked for it -

Q: How much is a Grecian urn?

A: About two drachmas an hour.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/10/2010 04:08:10



                             (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)



That's almost as funny as "Greeks can't stay out late because they have a Corfu."

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/10/2010 14:50:08
Man walks in to wine store and ask's

"Can you recommend a good port?"

Sales assistant says

"Yes, Southampton".
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 15/10/2010 18:20:19
A man is walking along the road with a banana stuck in his ear. Another gent approaches him and asks,

"Hey, do you know you've got a banana in your ear?"

to which the man replies

"I can't hear you. I've got a banana in my ear."

-------------------------------------------------------------


A man is walking along the road with a lemon stuck in his ear. Another gent approaches him and asks,

"Hey, do you know you've got a lemon in your ear?"

to which the man replies

"You've heard of a hearing aid? This is a lemon aid."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/10/2010 18:31:33


Unfortunately, no one won the lemon eating contest. They all went home with a sour-taste in their mouth.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/10/2010 18:36:40

Man walks in to wine store and ask's

"Can you recommend a good port?"

Sales assistant says

"Yes, Southampton".


Funny : - )

The wine store manager locks up his best wine in a cabernet.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/10/2010 12:41:37
A man is walking along the road with a banana stuck in his ear. Another gent approaches him and asks,

"Hey, do you know you've got a banana in your ear?"

to which the man replies

"I can't hear you. I've got a banana in my ear."

-------------------------------------------------------------


A man is walking along the road with a lemon stuck in his ear. Another gent approaches him and asks,

"Hey, do you know you've got a lemon in your ear?"

to which the man replies

"You've heard of a hearing aid? This is a lemon aid."


Another man had a sponge, jelly and fruit in his ear, he was a trifle deaf.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/10/2010 22:27:06


A man walks into a doctor's office.  He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.

"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.

The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/10/2010 22:35:17


(There are similar tales concerning Algie and Bessie)


Let's hear 'em!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/10/2010 22:41:34


I mean, let's ear 'em.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 16/10/2010 22:51:07


(There are similar tales concerning Algie and Bessie)


Let's hear 'em!


Ah, well see, Bessie met a bus. Algie, on the other hand, met a bear. You might try to finish 'em.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/10/2010 23:01:55

Bessie met the bus and the bus met Bessie

The bus was messy and the mess was Bessie

Algy met a bear,

A bear met Algy,

The bear was bulgy,

The bulge was Algy.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 17/10/2010 00:17:50
You got it! The bulgy one is slightly trickier.

There may have been others, but I can't remember. Oh! Wait, there was Mickey too. I think he met a train.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/10/2010 00:37:43

Stumped by Mickey.

But it didn't ruin my train of thought.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 17/10/2010 00:42:15
Wasn't your train of thought a bit sticky?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 17/10/2010 02:53:48
Wasn't your train of thought a bit sticky?

Depends on what substance has cause Demo to become sticky. Is it Jam? Is it ham? Is it Lemon Curd or is it a brown ****?

I could go on but it would just get more nasty. I'll quit here.
 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/10/2010 03:33:42
Jam?

Ham?

Green eggs and ham?

I do not like them, Sam-I-Am!!


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.emerchandise.com%2Fimages%2Fp%2FDRS%2FpdBXDRS0009.jpg&hash=5541d03c5cf05116349f7596ef80cc2c)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/10/2010 03:36:03

Wasn't your train of thought a bit sticky?


Depends on what substance has cause Demo to become sticky. Is it Jam? Is it ham? Is it Lemon Curd or is it a brown ****?

I could go on but it would just get more nasty. I'll quit here.
 

A sticky situation, indeed!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/10/2010 07:23:11

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cartoonstock.com%2Flowres%2Fmly0212l.jpg&hash=8ea7ec0b11f1cb103a7ced64522ae974)


The science teachers broke up because there was no chemistry between them.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 19/10/2010 18:38:17
A man was walking along the road with a kipper stuck in his ear.

This other guy comes up to him and says,

"Do you know you've got a kipper in your ear?"

To which the man replies,

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to speak up. I'm a bit hard of herring."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 19/10/2010 18:41:47
A man was walking along the road with a tooth stuck in his ear, no, really....

"In an unusual case, a 47-year old former miner in Britain was finally able get rid of his earache after doctors removed a tooth that had got stuck in his ear"

http://medindia.net/news/Doctors-Remove-Tooth-from-Ear-75535-1.htm
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: RD on 19/10/2010 18:56:10
A man was walking along the road with a tooth stuck in his ear, no, really....

"In an unusual case, a 47-year old former miner in Britain was finally able get rid of his earache after doctors removed a tooth that had got stuck in his ear"

http://medindia.net/news/Doctors-Remove-Tooth-from-Ear-75535-1.htm

 [ Invalid Attachment ]
http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/205967/Man-loses-tooth-from-ear

Tooth-fairy related incident ?, (tooth placed under pillow ends up in lughole ?).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 19/10/2010 20:02:57
Wonder if the tooth fairy will pay interest on the payment, as after all the tooth has been in "storage" for over 40 years.......
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 19/10/2010 20:19:50
Two old geezers in adjacent beds in a hospital in Brighton, UK.

Geezer1: "Did you come 'ere to die?"

Geezer2: "No mate. I come 'ere yesterdie."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/10/2010 03:16:10

A man was walking along the road with a tooth stuck in his ear, no, really....

"In an unusual case, a 47-year old former miner in Britain was finally able get rid of his earache after doctors removed a tooth that had got stuck in his ear"

http://medindia.net/news/Doctors-Remove-Tooth-from-Ear-75535-1.htm


Fess up, Geezer, are you really telling the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/10/2010 03:17:25

Wonder if the tooth fairy will pay interest on the payment, as after all the tooth has been in "storage" for over 40 years.......


Interesting, Sean.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/10/2010 03:21:13

A man was walking along the road with a kipper stuck in his ear.

This other guy comes up to him and says,

"Do you know you've got a kipper in your ear?"

To which the man replies,

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to speak up. I'm a bit hard of herring."


They were going to cancel the fishing season due to red tape, but it turned out to be a red herring.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/10/2010 17:59:33
Two old geezers in adjacent beds in a hospital in Brighton, UK.

Geezer1: "Did you come 'ere to die?"

Geezer2: "No mate. I come 'ere yesterdie."

Hey, I thought there was one and only one, i.e., our one and only.......GEEZER!!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 22/10/2010 18:28:17
I think you are getting us muddled up with Australians, and that would never do cobber
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 23/10/2010 04:12:30
What do shoes have to do with this?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 23/10/2010 07:08:27
Mil, I think that's cobblers.

Next thing you'll be trying to tell us that Cholmondeley is pronounced Chumly.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/10/2010 00:15:06

A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back. 'The doctor said, 'It's old age.'  The woman said, 'I want a second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK. you're ugly as well.'
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/10/2010 00:50:52




Mil, I think that's cobblers.

Next thing you'll be trying to tell us that Cholmondeley is pronounced Chumly.


Urban Dictionary: cobber
Australian colloquialism meaning "mate" or "friend", but not necessarily in the literal term.

Oh, and Geezer? I researched it and Cholmondeley is most assuredly pronounced Chumly.



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: John Chapman on 24/10/2010 22:43:19
Some bloke takes his kids to the zoo. When they get inside there's just one cage with a small scruffy dog sitting inside it. He storms to the office to complain.

"You call this a zoo?! It's just one dog sitting in a cage!" he rants.

The ticket seller calmly replies:

"I know, Sir. It's a shitzu"
 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 25/10/2010 00:32:23
Some bloke takes his kids to the zoo. When they get inside there's just one cage with a small scruffy dog sitting inside it. He storms to the office to complain.

"You call this a zoo?! It's just one dog sitting in a cage!" he rants.

The ticket seller calmly replies:

"I know, Sir. It's a shitzu"
 

Sounds like a Chapman original. You might also consider posting it in the "Is this the worst joke ever?" thread.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/10/2010 03:54:53


Geezer, I Shih Tzu not, a dyslexic man walked into a bra...
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/10/2010 23:04:45

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tomjonesbiography.com%2Flib%2Fcover.gif&hash=0d7e00f5eb8b3783fb284891a18ec5c3)


'Doc, I can't stop singing the Green Green Grass Of Home.
'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'.

'Is it common?'
'It's not unusual.'

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/10/2010 10:10:29

'Doc, I can't stop singing the Green Green Grass Of Home.
'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'.

'Is it common?'
'It's not unusual.'



AGHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

That's so old, its very nearly a fossil.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/10/2010 21:42:59


No it's not. I just heard it!  [;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/10/2010 21:44:05
Not through the grapevine by any chance?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/10/2010 03:52:31

                             (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)

That's so funny, Don, that it made me...just about to lose my mind!!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/10/2010 10:28:28
I hope it didn't make you laugh so much that it brought you to tears, because, you know a man 'aint supposed to cry.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/10/2010 20:51:13

No matter what you colic, a baby crying for hours is a pain!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/10/2010 15:14:12
Ah yes, colic, they suffer greatly from that in a Burpham, a village on the edge of Guilford, Surrey.


OK, OK, so its pronounced Burfam, not Burp-ham, but call it punetical license.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/10/2010 16:49:43

Don't forget, punsters who want to go hunting have to get a punetical license.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/10/2010 23:27:54



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fea7bcee7.jpg&hash=ea825a5988a1dcd21c3a890483ac7449)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/11/2010 10:45:47



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fea7bcee7.jpg&hash=ea825a5988a1dcd21c3a890483ac7449)


Isn't that an oxymoron?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/11/2010 21:34:41

No, it's a daffynition.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/11/2010 21:40:08
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F_eIARuH0-x4Y%2FSDNJ31gA1LI%2FAAAAAAAAAD0%2FM0jmDwYpvw4%2Fs400%2Foxymoron.jpg&hash=16bc648bab2834c144dbcdf100e14b32)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/11/2010 14:16:23
Remember that accursed woman who was always popping up on the adverts flogging gravy cubes, she must have been an Oxomoron.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 02/11/2010 18:26:35
Is a Spanish hoover El Ectrolux?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/11/2010 19:03:38


I think "si", but I'll tell ya, my new expensive vacuum cleaner really sucks.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/11/2010 09:44:52
When it comes to domestic appliances, I like playing with our oven, its a gas!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/11/2010 23:58:30


Many people think that Edgar Allan Poe was a raven madman.



personal/true aside: I grew up in the same house where Edgar Allan Poe wrote "The Raven". That should answer any of your lingering questions about me - demo [:)]



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F4c07ad9b.jpg&hash=f953dc4bd8c840278f003dac1b6ad216)

Photo I took this summer in front of my childhood home
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 08/11/2010 03:57:33
Which question(s)?

Are you a raven?

Are you a mad man?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/11/2010 05:14:04
A Mad Man:

1) I was in advertising

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcache.gawker.com%2Fassets%2Fimages%2Fdefamer%2F2009%2F01%2Ffashion_MadMen102B_0411.jpg&hash=82fa69cbc5124d80e2bd3d2d178bed3d)

2) I hate the fact that my NSF posts disappear on first try when I use the "Quote" function!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/11/2010 12:24:05
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcache.gawker.com%2Fassets%2Fimages%2Fdefamer%2F2009%2F01%2Ffashion_MadMen102B_0411.jpg&hash=82fa69cbc5124d80e2bd3d2d178bed3d)

My word! How you've changed. Sadly, not for the better.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/11/2010 12:34:22
There was a young lady on a bender,
Who sat down to play on her Fender.
The strings turned to keys,
Of ebony and ivories.
And when she stood up,
She'd changed her bloody gender.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/11/2010 18:05:23

Is someone trying to tell me that my hair is mussed??

Or is someone not familiar with Mad Men TV series? [:)]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/11/2010 20:43:26

There was a young lady on a bender,
Who sat down to play on her Fender.
The strings turned to keys,
Of ebony and ivories.
And when she stood up,
She'd changed her bloody gender.


If you break a string on your guitar don't Fret.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/11/2010 11:15:33
I might have guessed you'd pick up on that.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/11/2010 23:33:22

...
The strings turned to keys,
Of ebony and ivories...


Let me share with you a couple of keys to playing piano.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/11/2010 23:34:23

I might have guessed you'd pick up on that.


Perhaps you can amplify on that statement?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 10/11/2010 00:24:33

I might have guessed you'd pick up on that.


Perhaps you can amplify on that statement?

I would, but it's not terribly polite to give unsolicited feedback.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/11/2010 05:07:09

I might have guessed you'd pick up on that.


Perhaps you can amplify on that statement?


I would, but it's not terribly polite to give unsolicited feedback.


I echo your sentiments.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 10/11/2010 06:26:27

I might have guessed you'd pick up on that.


Perhaps you can amplify on that statement?



I would, but it's not terribly polite to give unsolicited feedback.


I echo your sentiments.

The echo from the sediments is best in a canyon.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/11/2010 10:12:40
Well I know that's what he said he meant.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/11/2010 04:15:18
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F_R3xKYz0g2Zg%2FTDiYt3eYdqI%2FAAAAAAAAAq0%2Fi-MnNDgwrfQ%2Fs1600%2Faward.jpg&hash=5dd327936cb2c7405b5471528415a7c9)


Finally! A true deserving recipient of The Punning Thread Groanloudly Award!!

Congrats, Don!!!!

<wild applause from millions of our readers>
 
[;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 11/11/2010 07:23:59
Gimme a frikkin break!

How could he possibly fail with a setup like that?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 11/11/2010 10:57:18
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fbowing%2F1.gif&hash=4d47e94680c56e8fc3988df7660bfe76) Thank you fans, thank you.

Unaccustomed as I am to making speeches....... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fhitting%2F9.gif&hash=7a65869a7e8b6e5a1ac4ba8fdf355754) booo hisssss, get off (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fsad%2F4.gif&hash=ee90d6b188155fe605337a707d9854cb)

You're only jealous, 'cause you didn't get in before me. That'll teach you to be more punctual.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/11/2010 19:57:29

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F_R3xKYz0g2Zg%2FTDiYt3eYdqI%2FAAAAAAAAAq0%2Fi-MnNDgwrfQ%2Fs1600%2Faward.jpg&hash=5dd327936cb2c7405b5471528415a7c9)


Finally! A true deserving recipient of The Punning Thread Groanloudly SETUP Award!!

Congrats, Geezer!!!!

<wild applause from millions of our readers>
 
[;D]

The Groanloudly Award Committee prides itself on unique Awards for unique accomplishment. An Equal Opportunity Scam For All!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/11/2010 20:32:12

I have taken it a pun myself to find a good pun!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 12/11/2010 10:23:33
Give me a comma.
Give me a semicolon
Give me a full stop (period)
Give me an exclamation mark
Give me an apsotrophe.

Oooo, I do like a nice bit of punctuation.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 12/11/2010 17:19:48
I don't think I can take much more of this punishment.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 12/11/2010 17:44:42
Just like an old boxer, it can make you punchy.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/11/2010 18:26:56

The boxer may be old, Don, but his girlfriend is a knockout.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/11/2010 18:29:31

I don't think I can take much more of this punishment.


That reminds me of the soup that was so bad it was gruel and unusual punishment.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/11/2010 21:43:59

I'm embarrassed, but feel obliged to admit: I accidentally deleted this whole thread today. [:(]

But Geezer came along to save the day and restored it.

Thanks, Geezer!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/11/2010 00:52:08

Just like an old boxer, it can make you punchy.


After punching his computer and breaking his hand, the guy required tech knuckle support.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/11/2010 12:01:43

I'm embarrassed, but feel obliged to admit: I accidentally deleted this whole thread today. [:(]

But Geezer came along to save the day and restored it.

Thanks, Geezer!

Phuuuuuuweeee, well done Geezer, did you give it an injection to save it from disappearing down the Black Hole of Calcutta?

Could be said to be a Punjab
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 13/11/2010 19:43:21

I'm embarrassed, but feel obliged to admit: I accidentally deleted this whole thread today. [:(]

But Geezer came along to save the day and restored it.

Thanks, Geezer!

Phuuuuuuweeee, well done Geezer, did you give it an injection to save it from disappearing down the Black Hole of Calcutta?

Could be said to be a Punjab

Well, we didn't want to upset the punters.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/11/2010 22:24:09


I'm embarrassed, but feel obliged to admit: I accidentally deleted this whole thread today. [:(]

But Geezer came along to save the day and restored it.

Thanks, Geezer!


Don't you guys realize that every time you re-quote me it becomes more and more an embarrassment of kitsches?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 14/11/2010 01:11:49


I'm embarrassed, but feel obliged to admit: I accidentally deleted this whole thread today. [:(]

But Geezer came along to save the day and restored it.

Thanks, Geezer!


Don't you guys realize that every time you re-quote me it becomes more and more an embarrassment of kitsches?

I wouldn't worry about it too much. I think all our groupies buggered off long ago, unless you include JimBob of course.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/11/2010 01:24:18

I don't think JimBob's feeling too hot these days : - (
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/11/2010 02:03:31

Besides, what about our 10 million readers?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 14/11/2010 06:29:20
Immobility gets you nowhere. [;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/11/2010 06:47:22
What did the nice girl say when her date invited her home to see his stamp collection? 'Philately will get you nowhere'.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/11/2010 10:59:08
RIGHT!!!!

THATS'S IT......

I'm not going to be licked by that last post (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4NtSqZcT_4).

Rather fitting for today.

Going off for the minute.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/11/2010 11:15:48
The Queen lay in her bed one night and turned on her side. She pulled the duvet right up so that only her head could be seen and said, "Look Philip, I'm a stamp."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 14/11/2010 16:40:58
In The Naked Scientists' forum
I tried to be punny for 'em
But limericks reign
In my little brain
So can we make a limmerick quorum?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/11/2010 17:37:18
Donnah, you're a poet!

But do you know et?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/11/2010 17:41:41
The Queen lay in her bed one night and turned on her side. She pulled the duvet right up so that only her head could be seen and said, "Look Philip, I'm a stamp."

But I thought Philip was at a listed forum that night?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 14/11/2010 18:28:32
Yes, but it was a live forum.  He was drinking and got obnoxious when a lady wanted to leave and he wouldn't letter.  He's not much of a fighter though, so he got licked when someone pasted him.

Maybe he should have had some of that tech knuckle support you talked about, demografx.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/11/2010 01:15:13

Wow, Donnah, I am mightily impressed with your punifical talents! You're teaching me that a pun is its own reword!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 16/11/2010 01:56:40
It's so much pun playing with words and you always get to be write!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/11/2010 03:50:15

Yes, but if you write bad things about me I am libel to sue you.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 16/11/2010 05:33:19
In The Naked Scientists' forum
I tried to be punny for 'em
But limericks reign
In my little brain
So can we make a limmerick quorum?

We could, but I can only ever remember the first line. For example there was;

A gal from Devizes
A policeman from Clapham Junction
A bishop from Birmingham

Unfortunately (er, well, maybe fortunately) that's all I'm able to remember.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/11/2010 11:48:07
There was a young man from Nepal,
Who had one short and long ...........


Oh yes! I see what you mean Geezer!

The language can get a bit fruity, perhaps that's why its called a limerick.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/11/2010 21:49:42

Fruity "one short and long" limerick? Is that like an apple or pear? Or is it that we don't bwannana know?...
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 17/11/2010 05:05:17
Go with the flow of the current; amp
times voltage that pressures the send
to get watt is right the lamp to light,
thanks, my solar panel of friends.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 17/11/2010 10:09:19
I'm very switched on to eletricity.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 17/11/2010 19:00:33
At least try to lighten up.

(I wonder if that's what they said to Guy Fawkes?)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/11/2010 20:43:32

This electric banter gets my juices flowing.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 17/11/2010 22:41:35

This electric banter gets my juices flowing.

WATT???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/11/2010 00:51:24

This electric banter gets my juices flowing.


WATT???


Yes, of course! It's...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.watt-works.com%2Fwp-content%2Fthemes%2Fwattworks%2Fimages%2Fwatt-works-logo-large.png&hash=8a7602844f61810c7bb88834856dc310)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 18/11/2010 01:40:51
Is Watt Works a company name and logo?  From every psychological angle I can think of that name is...brilliant!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/11/2010 02:15:43

                             (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)


I can't believe I almost fell for that and started researching the logo. Brilliant indeed!!!

Your puns are illuminating.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 18/11/2010 02:23:03
And yours are powerfully enlightening! [;D]

I am serious about the logo too.  I did an online search and found wattworks.com in Ohio with some brilliant products.  Check out their magnetic fireplace and window covers. I love their hybrid tricycle too.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/11/2010 17:01:51
So I'm not that dumb after all! (ok guys, no commentary! [;D])
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 18/11/2010 19:07:03
My brother just emailed me the following:

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The  Forest ?
They Take The Psychopath

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It

 5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids

 7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick

8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quatro Cinco.

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

 12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

 13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef.

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

 17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.

 19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover ?!
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckles On Their Hats.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes,  Whack.   "Dang! "
 A Bad Skydiver Goes,  " Dang!"  Whack. 

22. How Are a   Texas  Tornado And a  Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer.

23. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/11/2010 20:35:20

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?

Unique Up On It.


Amazing! This is my favorite corny joke of all time. Heard it on the radio in '76!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/11/2010 20:36:56

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The  Forest ?

They Take The Psychopath


True. But I'll bet it's not the psychopath of least resistance.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/11/2010 20:57:08

I...found wattworks.com...


The logo actually comes from watt-works.com

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/11/2010 21:34:25
You'd best go lie down for while Donnah.

After all that punning you'll be sleepun soon.

You really should should have held some in reserve, using so much of your repertoire in one go was a pundamental mistake.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/11/2010 00:31:25

True, Don, but now we're all enriched with a repertoire that's far from puny!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 19/11/2010 03:56:55
Aw shucks, no point in holding back, we have a forum of endless punch lines.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 19/11/2010 05:53:17
It's OK as long as it doesn't result in another Punic War.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/11/2010 08:06:15

Punic War? Why, we shouldn't rome that far from our main purpose.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/11/2010 09:36:30
Indeed so, we should cease 'er and put an end to the war by the time Santa Claus de us the honor of a visit.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 19/11/2010 16:47:39
Ho ho ho!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/11/2010 19:14:17
 [;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/11/2010 22:44:52

A gal from Devizes

edit -
There was an old girl of Devizes,
Whose forte was in little surprises;
She let you come near,
Then cried: 'Bless us, my dear,
Your eyes are of different sizes.


A policeman from Clapham Junction

edit -
Censored by the Punjab Governor


A bishop from Birmingham

edit -
Censored by the Punjab Governor


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/11/2010 22:48:35


18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?

Sanka.


Coffee has bean the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 20/11/2010 04:20:21
Well it is a stirring subject.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 20/11/2010 07:42:38

A gal from Devizes

edit -
There was an old girl of Devizes,
Whose forte was in little surprises;
She let you come near,
Then cried: 'Bless us, my dear,
Your eyes are of different sizes.


A policeman from Clapham Junction

edit -
Censored by the Punjab Governor


A bishop from Birmingham

edit -
Censored by the Punjab Governor




I am only able to advise that the organ of the policeman in question had long ceased to function.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/11/2010 07:49:16


18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?

Sanka.


Coffee has bean the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.



Well it is a stirring subject.


Because of the spooning?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/11/2010 07:57:09

I am only able to advise that the organ of the policeman in question had long ceased to function.


Long? Certainly you must be aware that size is not important.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 20/11/2010 15:07:06


18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?

Sanka.


Coffee has bean the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.



Well it is a stirring subject.


Because of the spooning?

No, it's because it percolates in my brain, whether I want it to or not.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/11/2010 17:05:38


In that case, it must be instant.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/11/2010 18:40:39


At least try to lighten up.

(I wonder if that's what they said to Guy Fawkes?)


He was so sensitive to criticism, he would've imploded.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 20/11/2010 19:32:48
Sometimes when you add coffee powder to nuked water it explodes like a volcano.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/11/2010 21:17:53

When I asked if I could get insurance if the nearby volcano erupted they assured me I would be covered.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 20/11/2010 21:54:28
Are you covered for seismic events by Quaker State Insurance?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/11/2010 00:04:31

Geezer, that's a catastrophic question.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 21/11/2010 01:46:35
My friend Dick has a thing about unwanted felines showing up in his garden and using it as a toilet. He even borrowed my BB gun once to try to scare them off.

Anyway, I was round at his place the other day, and among the mounted heads of deer, elk and moose hanging on his walls there was also a cat. The strange thing about it was that it was the rear end of the cat that was mounted instead of its head.

"What the heck is that?" I enquired.

"Oh," says Dick, "It's a cat's ass trophy."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 21/11/2010 14:25:29
Wow Geezer, did you have to hunt long to catch that story?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/11/2010 21:23:38

Donnah, don't expect a reply. Cat's got his tongue.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/11/2010 21:28:11

Also, he might not be feline well today.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 22/11/2010 16:55:12
If he is not feline well today does it mean he has had a bit too much hair of the dog?


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/11/2010 18:31:47

Hair of the dog?? I hope you don't mean...<gasp>...this!


"It's a cat's ass...."

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/11/2010 23:03:56
Dedicated to Don for his reply to my astronomy struggles:

Scientists wanting to send a rocket to Jupiter had to really planet.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/11/2010 15:43:51
I asked Demo to take a seat after I had sat Ern down.

"where shall I sit?" Demo asked, I replied, "On uranus".


Phew! I had to get the cobwebs off those two!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/11/2010 22:36:25



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.goodlightscraps.com%2Fcontent%2Fthanksgiving%2Fthanksgiving-1.jpg&hash=fcbc6bfba2930d0436c1eb444141264c)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/11/2010 22:41:58
I asked Demo to take a seat after I had sat Ern down.

"where shall I sit?" Demo asked, I replied, "On uranus".


Phew! I had to get the cobwebs off those two!

Thanks, Don, that's where I'll sit! And on this planet,  since my wife's the apple of my eye I'll sit down right be cider.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/11/2010 09:24:01

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 26/11/2010 09:50:13

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.


Didn't you mean "jiggle"?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/11/2010 02:52:51

Wow,, Geezer, when you are determined to go after another punster, you really know how to go for the juggler!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 28/11/2010 15:58:02
Depends on your view, whether they are juggling balls or jiggling something else.....

Though I have to admit I cannot juggle well, I keep losing something every so often whilst doing it, and it tends to get a bit messy around me if I do it too long.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/11/2010 20:29:39

Sean, I knew someone like that, but instead of continuing that way,  he got a model airplane hobby that really took off.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Chemistry4me on 29/11/2010 04:17:53
Whao, this is really intense, I need to think of some pun-liners
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/11/2010 07:21:13

Well, Chem, monorails always make for decent pun-one-liners...
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Chemistry4me on 29/11/2010 08:36:36
I'm not train ed to handle such pun ishment
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 29/11/2010 09:52:43
I hope this does not drive you underground.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/11/2010 16:33:22

I'm not train ed to handle such pun ishment


I hope this does not drive you underground.


Geezer, very perceptive! For all we know,  Chem might be a  spy who works from his basement bed underground and undercover!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 29/11/2010 17:00:27
MMMMMM Chem-mystery can be both exciting and scary at the same time, especially if you do not do your research properly and it all blows up.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/11/2010 23:04:35

Sean, yes, that's what happens when you're out of your element.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 30/11/2010 01:33:30
I've also noticed a lot of bad stuff seems to happen when I'm out with my elephant.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/11/2010 02:28:14

But at least they will work for peanuts.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 30/11/2010 04:35:09
Sometimes when you're monkeying around on an elephant you get hounded.

Has anyone seen the video "Suryia and Hound"?  I find it one of those events that touches my soul. http://video.aol.com/video-detail/the-orangutan-and-the-hound/1234581161/?icid=VIDLRVNAT07 (http://video.aol.com/video-detail/the-orangutan-and-the-hound/1234581161/?icid=VIDLRVNAT07)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 30/11/2010 07:37:05

But at least they will work for peanuts.

Yes, but their agents will only wear the latest CA shoes, so it still gets pretty spendy.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/11/2010 11:05:02
CA shoes

Bless you!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/11/2010 19:15:52

Reminds me of this nut named Hazel who held up a bank saying 'give me all the cashew have'.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/11/2010 19:23:52

Sometimes when you're monkeying around on an elephant you get hounded.


I gave in when my wife hounded me about getting a puppy.
 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/12/2010 13:33:27
You really should briard, put your foot down and say 'NO'.

Setter up with a little kitten instead, she'll soon be feline OK and you'll retiever respect for you. You must pointer in the right direction.

Will she take it out for a walk and clean up after it? As soon as you take it out for walkies it will cock its leg up some lamp post, or some poor unsuspecting chap, frozen to the bone, waiting for a bus. And once it has wee'd you can guarantee it will shih tzun.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 01/12/2010 14:05:21
What are CA shoes?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 01/12/2010 18:21:00
What are CA shoes?

NY NJ MA NH VT WA FL CA OR etc.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/12/2010 22:43:28

Donnah, as you can see there are also MA shoes, but I'm not parting with that pair!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/12/2010 22:56:04
You really should briard, put your foot down and say 'NO'.

Setter up with a little kitten instead, she'll soon be feline OK and you'll retiever respect for you. You must pointer in the right direction.

Will she take it out for a walk and clean up after it? As soon as you take it out for walkies it will cock its leg up some lamp post, or some poor unsuspecting chap, frozen to the bone, waiting for a bus. And once it has wee'd you can guarantee it will shih tzun.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tiggle.ie%2Fimages%2Fhalo-baby-grow-bag-swaddle-cats-dogs-4.jpg&hash=2462a8aec71ad69f03cd2ea63bdc52ef)


I propose that we all chip in and award Don this cat-dog  swaddle for his petfect punning! Anyone second the notion?

BTW, shouldn't that say, shih tzum? (it's usually more than just un)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/12/2010 01:35:42

What are CA shoes?


WA shoes are you talking about?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Chemistry4me on 02/12/2010 02:07:04
The kind of shoe that heels you and helps your sole.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/12/2010 04:35:54

Wow, it sounds like it would even dye for me!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Chemistry4me on 02/12/2010 04:40:44
Indied
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/12/2010 09:12:01
Ah, soles, he said tongue in cheek and laced up to the eyes with booze. That's the last time he'el drink so much after taking an upper to find inner sole peace.

What a load of old cobblers!


BTW, nice to see the return of the punning C4M.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/12/2010 17:43:54
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fp.playme.com%2Fcspv%2F08-20-05-10-00-AudioPreview-Cover-JPEG256x256%2Fronald-naldi%2Fmamma-%28bixio-cherubini%29.jpg%3Fts%3D1263837518&hash=c9ee6fe72266ddb18ef10edb59b06cdd)

He got his foot in the door with this album!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 02/12/2010 19:32:21
Demo, I didn't think you would stoop so low, me old pal.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/12/2010 19:52:47

Has anyone seen the video "Suryia and Hound"?  I find it one of those events that touches my soul.

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/the-orangutan-and-the-hound/1234581161/?icid=VIDLRVNAT07 (http://video.aol.com/video-detail/the-orangutan-and-the-hound/1234581161/?icid=VIDLRVNAT07)


Yes, Donnah, that was heartwarming! Thanks.

This was not a pun
This was not a pun
This was not a pun
This was not a pun
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/12/2010 19:56:40

Demo, I didn't think you would stoop so low, me old pal.


Aw, Geezer, you made me feel bad with that remark, so I'll reform my ways and go back to being a high maintenance old pal!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/12/2010 16:46:30

...laced up to the eyes...


People who make necklaces may get beady eyes.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/12/2010 17:15:40
Oh pal, is it jewellery puns now?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/12/2010 17:30:41

Pearl, Opal, and Ruby all work in a jewelry store with Grace.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/12/2010 17:36:02

In just one month we'll have a brand new cable channel, OWN: The Opal Winfrey Network!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/12/2010 18:01:30
Will she dye her hair platinum blonde?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/12/2010 18:55:37

Naw, Don, she's well beyond just being a diamond in the rough these days.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/12/2010 20:22:19
Oh dear, a bit past it eh? I hope she doesn't have trouble with her, eh em, 'sit-upon'. I hear that emeralds can be quite painful. Though you can get cream for the problem, I don't fancy applying it! If her nurse doesn't do it properly for her, she might gets a phired for her error.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/12/2010 20:34:34
Doctor to patient

Come in Mrs Jewel, sit down and tell me qwart zeems to be the trouble?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 03/12/2010 20:58:39
I hear that emeralds can be quite painful.

I wouldn't worry about it. She's got piles of money.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/12/2010 21:22:45

You guys are being too hasty! Shouldn't we more carefully and deliberately analyze the situation??
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/12/2010 21:39:37


But if you feel that I'm mistaken, then by all means go ahead and correct it all.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/12/2010 22:05:30
Co lon and get on with it then if you must.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/12/2010 02:06:16

A smelly ant was expelled from the colony because he was deodorant.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 04/12/2010 02:24:26
Did I ever mention that, with hindsight, I could have been a proctologist?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/12/2010 03:17:30
Oh now that, I don't sphinc ter good job.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/12/2010 04:08:13



Did I ever mention that, with hindsight, I could have been a proctologist?


Glad you asked. Maybe now you'll reply!  [;D]


With hindsight, I could have been a proctologist.


And with foresight??

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/12/2010 04:12:54
.....And with foresight??.......

A Rabbi.....

Oh! foresight, sorry pardon, my mistake.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/12/2010 04:17:01
It was an honest bristake.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/12/2010 04:24:17
Well, its no skin off my nose.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/12/2010 04:32:00

My vote, so far, goes to Geezer for his Proctology Pun. He certainly doesn't make an ass of himself!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.localmouth.com%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2008%2F10%2Fistock_000003721276xsmall.jpg&hash=34bb948422582bf8cd177f435ba8cb61)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/12/2010 04:33:52

Well, its no skin off my nose.


The rabbi nose you need an anatomy lesson!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/12/2010 04:36:29
Make sure you have that cup engraved, I suggest with the legend 'You arsked for it'.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/12/2010 04:40:04

Well, its no skin off my nose.


The rabbi nose you need an anatomy lesson!

Well, under the circumstises.....
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/12/2010 04:41:21
I think I'm just about all punned out for today, so I'm off to bed.

Can you dream in puns? I hope not, I should think its nored funny.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/12/2010 05:07:30

Don, I'd wish you sweet dreams, but I don't know if you're diabetic.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/12/2010 05:09:34

Well, its no skin off my nose.


The rabbi nose you need an anatomy lesson!


Well, under the circumstises.....


Yeah, yeah, I know, and the assisting nurse has a lousy salary but makes up for it in tips....groan....
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/12/2010 11:30:20
The beer served in our local is so cold I find it more comfortable to take along a pair of bar mits for insulation.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/12/2010 17:03:23

Yes, the mitz are vahry important the colder it gets!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/12/2010 22:13:30

Are Santa's helpers subordinate clauses?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/12/2010 23:12:54
Yes, and they are subject to stringant elf a safety regulations.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/12/2010 23:43:52
So they must conform or elfs?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/12/2010 23:58:02
Or elfs they wont get the sack!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/12/2010 00:26:18
Good grief....  [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/12/2010 06:04:07

Must be someone from The Bored Of Elf.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/12/2010 06:38:00
He got a reprimand for goblin down his breakfast.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 05/12/2010 15:19:25
He was not Hobgoblin down his brekkie, he was hobbled for elf violations - he took his boots and would you Rudolpf it put them in front of the fire before Santa Klaus could say Ho Ho NO!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/12/2010 15:25:12
That's fairy interesting, Sean.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 05/12/2010 15:27:33
Beast I cud drool at snort notice.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/12/2010 01:47:53

Beast I cud drool at snort notice.


I noticed the article about peripheral vision out of the corner of my eye.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 06/12/2010 03:14:00
Did you also notice the elfphant in the living room?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/12/2010 04:34:18


Welcome Back Notice to JimBob: WB!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/12/2010 04:56:35

JimBob, thanks for pointing that out. The elephant's opinion carries a lot of weight.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 06/12/2010 05:29:29
He'd get better MPG if he took all the junk out of his trunk.

(Don - See in the US, we never get a boot in the back because we like to keep a hood up front.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/12/2010 12:40:41
Getting all the junk out of his trunk could prove a very time consuming tusk.

If you put a hat on the engine, would it be a bonnet?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 06/12/2010 17:55:47
If it had a bonnet, would you bee able to find which end was the safe side to be on, and which end is a little pointedly unsafe to bee near?

If I could post something completely different here:

A one... two-- A one... two... three... four...
Half a bee, philosophically,
Must, ipso facto, half not be.
But half the bee has got to be
Vis a vis, its entity. D'you see?

But can a bee be said to be
Or not to be an entire bee
When half the bee is not a bee
Due to some ancient injury?

Singing...

La dee dee, one two three,
Eric the half a bee.
A B C D E F G,
Eric the half a bee.

Is this wretched demi-bee,
Half-asleep upon my knee,
Some freak from a menagerie?
No! It's Eric the half a bee!

Fiddle de dum, Fiddle de dee,
Eric the half a bee.
Ho ho ho, tee hee hee,
Eric the half a bee.

I love this hive, employee-ee,
Bisected accidentally,
One summer afternoon by me,
I love him carnally.

He loves him carnally,
Semi-carnally.
The end.

Cyril Connelly?
No; semi-carnally!
Oh.

Cyril Connelly.
[whistling]

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/12/2010 18:39:46

Sean, this is VERY important reading to all those people who have Carnal Tunnel Syndrome!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/12/2010 18:43:38

He was not Hobgoblin down his brekkie, he was hobbled for elf violations - he took his boots and would you Rudolpf it put them in front of the fire before Santa Klaus could say Ho Ho NO!


That's fairy interesting, Sean.


Yes, I agree that it's fairy interesting, but do reindeer have tails???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/12/2010 19:02:34
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funmax.com%2FTahiti_water.jpg&hash=828a6e7ad3b926c8a0b655b697cae786)

Let's all thank Geezer for his oh-so-generous gesture of paying for _all_ our travel, hotel and ANY miscellaneous expenses (e.g., lavish presents for the special someones) to Tahiti this December, 2010 for The Annual Punning Thread Conference! (He said invite friends and family, too, including mistresses/lovers...even kids' friends and their parents!! It's all on him!! Unlimited, really!)

Hurrah, Geezer!!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 06/12/2010 21:41:10
Obviously more WikiLeaks propaganda.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/12/2010 22:27:00
Cable from Scottish Embassy! [;D] :)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 06/12/2010 23:39:53
Was it a hemp cable or an iron cable?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/12/2010 23:52:45

Isn't it illegal to promote marijuana via cable?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 07/12/2010 00:29:24
Only if it's mariwanika.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/12/2010 11:28:33
Scottish Embassy! [;D]

You'll not get any Ferraro Rocher (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4P-nZZkQqTc) off that ambassador!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/12/2010 11:40:57
Let's all thank Geezer for his oh-so-generous gesture of paying for _all_ our travel, hotel and ANY miscellaneous expenses (e.g., lavish presents for the special someones) to Tahiti this December, 2010 for The Annual Punning Thread Conference! (He said invite friends and family, too, including mistresses/lovers...even kids' friends and their parents!! It's all on him!! Unlimited, really!)

Hurrah, Geezer!!


Three chairs for Geezer, he'll need to sit down when he gets the bill.

I'm all packed and ready to go, just waiting for the 1st class flight tickets to arrive in the post from the great Geezer.

While I wait, are there any good golf courses there? If so I'll practice my swing. I want to hit the ball squarely, not ta hit tee
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/12/2010 16:17:05
Don, that's the spirit! Just think, at first, Geezer wanted to save money by having us all travel to Tahiti on a flying carpet. That would have been much too rugged an experience!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/12/2010 17:30:13

........ on a flying carpet.............

On a flying carpet? Tuft, tuft, tuft, the very idea. Besides, I tend to wilt on such means of transport.

Where's the TNS Minister of Transport? I don't wish to pile it on, but was he aware of this? He must do his job properly, otherwise he'll be made redundant in the ensuing cut backs? ......................... Axe Minister now............................
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/12/2010 17:37:51

TNS Minister of Transport? Excellent idea, Don, he was formerly in charge of transporting salt. That's how he became a mover and shaker!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/12/2010 17:53:37
All became rather embarrassing really, that's why he had to locked in the cellar.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 07/12/2010 17:59:53
Speaking of transport to Tahiti, I hear that you no longer will get transported to Australia if you are a criminal in the UK, at least if you are Julian Assange!

Now that is a pun, even though it is true.

Now, locked in the cellar, was he there because he celled out, or was it because he had a poor cell reception?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 07/12/2010 19:39:04
Scottish Embassy! [;D]

You'll not get any Ferraro Rocher (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4P-nZZkQqTc) off that ambassador!
Scottish Embassy! [;D]

You'll not get any Ferraro Rocher (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4P-nZZkQqTc) off that ambassador!

Right pal! Square go ootside! I'll teach you to call me a cheap 'bassadord.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 07/12/2010 23:43:44
Speaking of transport to Tahiti, I hear that you no longer will get transported to Australia if you are a criminal in the UK, at least if you are Julian Assange!

I'm trying to figure out why he doesn't just paint a target on his forehead with a big arrow pointing at it that says "Shoot Here". Surely that would be a lot quicker than going through all this palaver?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/12/2010 01:09:13

All became rather embarrassing really, that's why he had to locked in the cellar.


You must be talking about C4M aka Chem. At first I thought he might be a spy working from his basement bed, undercover and underground, but now you've got me wondering if he's really an author who writes from his basement and has a best cellar.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/12/2010 08:44:20
Scottish Embassy! [;D]

You'll not get any Ferraro Rocher (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4P-nZZkQqTc) off that ambassador!
Scottish Embassy! [;D]

You'll not get any Ferraro Rocher (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4P-nZZkQqTc) off that ambassador!

Right pal! Square go ootside! I'll teach you to call me a cheap 'bassadord.

Is there an echo around here?
there an echo around here?
an echo around here?
echo around here?
around here?
here?


See yoo Jummy, stitch this
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fhitting%2F3.gif&hash=368d890476d3d1463a661a6a428b357a) Oh I say! Why you bounder & cad sir, take that!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/12/2010 08:54:25
......an author who writes from his basement and has a best cellar.


Available from Waterstones, WH Smith, Amazon and author good book cellers.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/12/2010 19:11:45

Is there an echo around here?
there an echo around here?
an echo around here?
echo around here?
around here?
here?


I will echo the thoughts of the medical community that an echocardiogram does not reveal the artery blockages that led to my 5-way bypass last December (ouch to the memory!).


Available from Waterstones, WH Smith, Amazon and author good book cellers.


 [;D] [;D] [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/12/2010 19:20:22

Now, locked in the cellar, was he there because he celled out, or was it because he had a poor cell reception?


Not sure, but I do know that in jail convicts use cell phones.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/12/2010 19:25:43
Important news about texting!


The IRS (HMRC in UK) left a message on my cell phone that I owed them more money. It was a taxed message.

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Chemistry4me on 08/12/2010 23:52:50
Interesting, I had the same incomeing message
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/12/2010 03:57:43
 [;D]  [;D]  [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/12/2010 05:26:42
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fe3a14ab2.jpg&hash=d8f4d0be7e7b8135b1ba0e0099cdae12)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 09/12/2010 05:52:47
Sheesh Demo! I was trying to keep it as a surprise. OK, enough already! This is where we're staying.

http://www.tahitiinn.com/
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/12/2010 09:08:53
... I was trying to keep it as a surprise.

If it has an elevated Michelin stared restaurant, it will still be a nice soup rise.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: yor_on on 09/12/2010 11:40:43
Shouldn't that read 'Planck Place'?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: yor_on on 09/12/2010 16:43:20
Planck Palace?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 09/12/2010 16:48:07
I may be as thick as two short planks, but I have not got those tickets yet, have checked downstairs a few times, nutting new down there, just the same old stuff as before. Though, having looked at the website, I am a little wary of the rooms there, the beds look a little hard and lumpy, and there were no sheets visible.

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 09/12/2010 17:27:04
There's another Pack Place in Bastin, Massachusetts. They tried to call it Park Place, but they eventually had to give up.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/12/2010 18:09:24

Shouldn't that read 'Planck Place'?


Yes, yor_on, you're right, here it is!
http://tcande.blogspot.com
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/12/2010 18:25:53
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F49037443993f4a8ab3a359558d8eb8d30.jpg&hash=5a1bb57aaaa5bebbc7d55081f74690fe)



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.women-on-the-road.com%2Fimage-files%2Fslum-tourism-01.jpg&hash=058fa4513226d3da6aef1347b78466b8)

Adding to the shame of it all, here, from Scottish WikiLeaks is a certified stolen photo of Geezer's plan for our "wondrous sightseeing tour". Sigh.

Geezer can be seen above (only partially, mostly his bare feet) in the first doorway on your left, relaxing as he waits for the corrupt "Sightseeing Manager" to negotiate a swindle of a deal. Each of us would have certainly had to pay some "tax".

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tear.org.au%2Fimages%2Fcommon%2FslumSurvivorSlum.jpg&hash=4757c0d4e17c955d0203529e37962ee1)

Geezer's nightclubbing plans for all of us!!!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/12/2010 18:37:42

There's another Pack Place in Bastin, Massachusetts. They tried to call it Park Place, but they eventually had to give up.


 [;D]  [;D]  [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/12/2010 18:43:12

I may be as thick as two short planks, but I have not got those tickets yet, have checked downstairs a few times, nutting new down there, just the same old stuff as before. Though, having looked at the website, I am a little wary of the rooms there, the beds look a little hard and lumpy, and there were no sheets visible.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fi.edu%2Flearn%2Fcase-files%2Fplanck%2Fplanck_medal.gif&hash=072140f16f2f4c5808dd872c2ddb009e)


Sean, you are hereby awarded this Medal for your fine whistleblower post! Justice has now been served.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 09/12/2010 19:03:03
And I still can'y get money from Mc and V - something about not sending via Western Union to Africa, as it is a scam! How else am I supposed to help that poor relative who has so much money tied up in an account, but who cannot get it out without help, and is willing to give me a 40% share for assistance in doing so.

Getting very good nw, I think the writer is now in high school, or at least is not watching American television exclusively.


BTW Demo, I thank you for the medal, as soon as I figure out how to print screen to metal I will wear it with pride.

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/12/2010 19:16:48

No, no, no, Sean, look for the Print Medal key!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/12/2010 19:19:31

And I still can't get money from Mc and V - something about not sending via Western Union to Africa, as it is a scam! How else am I supposed to help that poor relative who has so much money tied up in an account, but who cannot get it out without help, and is willing to give me a 40% share for assistance in doing so.

Getting very good nw, I think the writer is now in high school, or at least is not watching American television exclusively.


Sean, there are great tips here that should help!
http://j-walk.com/other/conf/
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/12/2010 09:38:01
The local timber yard advertises 7 metre floor boards available. Does this constitue a max plank?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/12/2010 16:24:50

That local timber yard manager made a huge mistake in that advertisement. I hope his boss doesn't make him walk the plank!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 10/12/2010 16:53:35
demo, is that one next to the "any" key?

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/12/2010 18:18:12

Yes, to the left. Or is it the right? No wait, it's above. No...perhaps it's below. Hmmmmmmm....
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 10/12/2010 18:23:40
It is situated between Key West and Big Coppit Key, about 400 yards NNW of Naval Air Station Key West key.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 10/12/2010 18:30:24
I still do not know where it is.

Perhaps I need a new keyboard, like the ones from www.usbtypewriter.com as an example.

I think it may be a good idea, as it will give a record of all keystrokes, a mechanical keylogger, what a good idea.



On the other hand, what did the fish say when he swam into the wall?




























DAM!



Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 10/12/2010 19:47:25
My keyboard doesn't have an "Any Key" which can be bloody annoying at times, let me tell you!

Piece of crap, friggin imported junk, who's running the place
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/12/2010 00:13:37
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww-trader.com%2Fcatalog%2Fimages%2FOLD%2520TYPEWRITER-3.JPG&hash=0f36557ad675b2d50ea8f079a528b28f)

Attention all young, hotshot know-it-alls: just remember, next time you send an email that instantly goes round the world, and you cc: or bcc: someone? It originated as "carbon copy", or "blind carbon copy"...nyah, nyah!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/12/2010 00:16:35

Key West key.


Isn't that repetitively redundant?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 11/12/2010 00:40:17
What's the symbol for blind carbon? There can be no C.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/12/2010 00:49:06

... I was trying to keep it as a surprise.

If it has an elevated Michelin stared restaurant, it will still be a nice soup rise.


True, Don, but if you eat soup that's nine days old you will get bad broth.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/12/2010 00:56:52

What's the symbol for blind carbon? There can be no C.



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freewebs.com%2Fsymbolc%2FdanceingC.gif&hash=f1b5b79b30e3e9c176eac3846cf80fe3)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/12/2010 07:07:49
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.tahitiinn.com%2FTemp%2Ftahiti-logo-250.gif&hash=8975ce5445122e9e40c6c7c79acfb914)

The shame never ends. The website declares, "Closed For The 2010 Season"! Bernie Madoff was never this devious!!
http://www.tahitiinn.com/
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 11/12/2010 07:11:15
At least they might be open for fleecing in around 21 days.........
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 11/12/2010 07:41:05
[Bernie Madoff was never this devious!!

Perhaps not, be he sure made off with a lot of people's money.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Chemistry4me on 11/12/2010 07:41:46

At least they might be open for fleecing in around 21 days.........

Are ewe serious?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 11/12/2010 20:49:09

At least they might be open for fleecing in around 21 days.........

Are ewe serious?

Not if he's ever been in Newe Joisey in January.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/12/2010 20:56:43

At least they might be open for fleecing in around 21 days.........

Are ewe serious?

Not if he's ever been in Newe Joisey in January.

Just like the sheep owner who sold his flock for too little was told: 'ewe were fleeced.'
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/12/2010 00:35:45

Bernie Madoff was never this devious!!


Perhaps not, be he sure made off with a lot of people's money.


Right, Geezer, and that reminds me that when Peter Pan spoke to Captain Hook he made an off-hand comment
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 12/12/2010 01:50:25
Wasn't there a tribe of very small people somewhere that called themselves the Flockawie?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 12/12/2010 12:16:57
Wasn't there a tribe of very small people somewhere that called themselves the Flockawie?

I get the strangest feeling that's not true, infact, I think its contribed.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 12/12/2010 18:42:08
Wasn't there a tribe of very small people somewhere that called themselves the Flockawie?

I get the strangest feeling that's not true, infact, I think its contribed.

Oh, it's true alright. They were so diminutive that they could easily get lost on your lawn if you hadn't cut the grass for a couple of weeks.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/12/2010 22:34:06

Click here:
Punitis is a mental disorder that forces the person inflicted to come up with meaningless word plays. The inflicted will be constantly coming up with puns for sometimes hours on end. Sadly there is no known cure. (http://bugle.wikia.com/wiki/Punitis)


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages1.wikia.nocookie.net%2F__cb20100224235843%2Fbugle%2Fimages%2Fthumb%2Fb%2Fb6%2FPunny_Sign.jpg%2F180px-Punny_Sign.jpg&hash=67425e75475e34b3a4cb6e5766218a4c)           (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages4.wikia.nocookie.net%2F__cb20100221000261%2Fbugle%2Fimages%2Fthumb%2F1%2F15%2FLepreCan.jpg%2F197px-LepreCan.jpg&hash=416d0b7d8fbc057c04d6fabd26dcfe94)


Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/12/2010 22:37:03

Wasn't there a tribe of very small people somewhere that called themselves the Flockawie?


I get the strangest feeling that's not true, infact, I think its contribed.


                      contribed!    [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/12/2010 23:59:32

Wasn't there a tribe of very small people somewhere that called themselves the Flockawie?


I get the strangest feeling that's not true, infact, I think its contribed.


Oh, it's true alright. They were so diminutive that they could easily get lost on your lawn if you hadn't cut the grass for a couple of weeks.


Wouldn't they all get eaten alive by those dandy lions???
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 13/12/2010 02:49:12

Wasn't there a tribe of very small people somewhere that called themselves the Flockawie?


I get the strangest feeling that's not true, infact, I think its contribed.


Oh, it's true alright. They were so diminutive that they could easily get lost on your lawn if you hadn't cut the grass for a couple of weeks.


Wouldn't they all get eaten alive by those dandy lions???

See, that's exactlty what they were afraid of. So, to summon help from a neighboring tribe, they bunched together and started yelling in unison,

"We're the Flockawie! We're the Flockawie!"
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Chemistry4me on 13/12/2010 04:11:50
Now that's some shear determination...
Please continewe...
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/12/2010 08:36:16
I think he's just trying to pull the wool over our eyes.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 13/12/2010 17:14:44
I think he is spinning another yarn myself.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 13/12/2010 19:14:34
Well, there really isn't any more to say, unless you say it quickly ten times.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 14/12/2010 01:50:27
Geezer must have been spending "too much time" with the shepard, don't ewe think?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 14/12/2010 06:38:34
Geezer must have been spending "too much time" with the shepard, don't ewe think?

So, basically, you didn't get it. Sheesh!

I suppose that's what happens when you hang out with a bunch of wannabee long horns.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/12/2010 10:55:50
Oh no, is this
long horns.
a cue for another round of bovine puns?

We'll have the TNS Pun Squad after us with their water cannons, then they'll angus out to dry.

Perhaps we should move toward the seasonal puns now, I asked Father Xmas for some new garden tools, but he just laughed, "Hoe hoe hoe."
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Chemistry4me on 14/12/2010 12:58:40
long horns.
How much ram does your computer have?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/12/2010 18:17:31
I agree, there's some ramming going on here  [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/12/2010 19:59:48

I think he's just trying to pull the wool over our eyes.


I think he is spinning another yarn myself.


More like a yawn, if you ask me. [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 14/12/2010 20:13:04
How much ram does your computer have?

I'm not sure, but my ram has several computers.

 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/12/2010 22:44:29

Oh no, is this
long horns.


a cue for another round of bovine puns?

We'll have the TNS Pun Squad after us with their water cannons, then they'll angus out to dry.


Don, if you have a beef with the TNS Pun Squad, you can't just stew about it, you have to bring it up to the steering committee.

You cannon do it any other way!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/12/2010 22:45:44

I asked Father Xmas for some new garden tools, but he just laughed, "Hoe hoe hoe."


Don, as a gardener you should know the ground rules by now.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 15/12/2010 00:56:12
Someone threw a snowball at me the other day. It was that rotten little heifer across the street.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 15/12/2010 02:29:16
OK which one?

1. Heifer definition, a young cow over one year old that has not produced a calf.

2. In the slang, when someone uses the word "heifer", they are usually referring to an overweight woman.


Oh, pardon me! I thought this was the punning thread.

(None of the above.)

EDIT: I suppose that's not strictly correct. Either would be appropriate, but you have to get the pronunciation right.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/12/2010 03:05:10

Geezer must have been spending "too much time" with the shepard, don't ewe think?


After the shepherd retired, he felt ewes less.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/12/2010 03:10:40

Now that's some shear determination...
Please continewe...


The optometrist moonlighted as a jazz musician so he could continewe to improve-eyes.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/12/2010 10:34:33

I asked Father Xmas for some new garden tools, but he just laughed, "Hoe hoe hoe."


Don, as a gardener you should know the ground rules by now.


Sorry to rake up this post again, but I think it proves that demo speaks with forked tongue.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/12/2010 10:38:13

Geezer must have been spending "too much time" with the shepard, don't ewe think?


After the shepherd retired, he felt ewes less.

His wife tried to keep him busy around the house. "Come on man, no good doing nothing, get the work done, chop chop."
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/12/2010 17:11:29

I asked Father Xmas for some new garden tools, but he just laughed, "Hoe hoe hoe."


Don, as a gardener you should know the ground rules by now.


Sorry to rake up this post again, but I think it proves that demo speaks with forked tongue.


Oh no, I forked up again? That's like a knife through my heart!!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/12/2010 17:49:22

Geezer must have been spending "too much time" with the shepard, don't ewe think?


After the shepherd retired, he felt ewes less.

His wife tried to keep him busy around the house. "Come on man, no good doing nothing, get the work done, chop chop."

And there's mutton he can do about that nagging? He'll probably flock to the nearest tavern.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/12/2010 14:55:24
And upon his return to home he'll just get another lambasting.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 16/12/2010 17:45:18
Merry Chistmas and Happy Newe Year to all the sheople of the world.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/12/2010 21:15:09
Yes, Donnah, and let's not forget the Jeweish celebration of Hannukah.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/12/2010 23:46:29

And upon his return to home he'll just get another lambasting.


Hopefully, after that, they'll kiss and make up and maybe she'll make him his favorite shepherd's pie again.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/12/2010 00:02:02

Someone threw a snowball at me the other day. It was that rotten little heifer across the street.


Similar thing happened to me a heifer dozen times!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Chemistry4me on 17/12/2010 05:14:34
Someone threw a snowball at me the other day. It was that rotten little heifer across the street.

Similar thing happened to me a heifer dozen times!


You should give the man a prize for being out standing in his field  [;D] [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/12/2010 05:26:25

You should give the man a prize for being out standing in his field  [;D] [;D]


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clintcatalyst.com%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fgallery%2Fprize-ribbonscollaboration-with-jared-gold%2Fhedonist-prize-ribbon-modeled-by-zoetica.jpg&hash=3b6ed3778449a0b02f33b890ad95225b)

OK, Chem, but you'll haveta remove it and give it to her him!         <<<<<edit

(You too can be a standout!)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/12/2010 05:44:35


At least they might be open for fleecing in around 21 days.........

Are ewe serious?


Not if he's ever been in Newe Joisey in January.


Is that near New Lambshire?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Chemistry4me on 17/12/2010 05:49:07
You certainly know how to milk them puns demografx, it's udderly amazing
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 17/12/2010 05:53:43
Is that near New Lambshire?

No. I Think you are confusing it with Newe Hempshire. It's the one slightly to the left of here.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/12/2010 07:26:55

To the left? I try not to be too political (or even correct) about geography, Geezer!

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/12/2010 07:29:05

You certainly know how to milk them puns demografx, it's udderly amazing


Why, thank you, Chem! I try to give it a fair shake.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 17/12/2010 10:13:38
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnewsimg.bbc.co.uk%2Fmedia%2Fimages%2F39259000%2Fjpg%2F_39259714_yamaniap203.jpg&hash=aed640498da3087771d979d5110bdc42)
Sheikh Yamani

At this time of year, I've no mani left to sheikh, its all gone on Xmas prezzies.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 17/12/2010 18:08:04

To the left? I try not to be too political (or even correct) about geography, Geezer!


New Hempshire is more potlitical.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/12/2010 17:41:56

To the left? I try not to be too political (or even correct) about geography, Geezer!


New Hempshire is more potlitical.


Is that why Mary Kay doesn't wanna pursue business there?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/12/2010 05:36:37

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnewsimg.bbc.co.uk%2Fmedia%2Fimages%2F39259000%2Fjpg%2F_39259714_yamaniap203.jpg&hash=aed640498da3087771d979d5110bdc42)
Sheikh Yamani

At this time of year, I've no mani left to sheikh, its all gone on Xmas prezzies.


But, Don, if you know just a little about music, you don't need mani to teach the children to play Haydn Sheik.

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/12/2010 20:01:40
Oh 'El, garantee you'll not be doing any more composer puns.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/12/2010 20:22:59

You have my word, Don!!

Here at my estate on Monteverdi I attempted a Liszt of classical composers but had to go Bach because I couldn't get a Handel on it.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 20/12/2010 05:00:16

Here at my estate on Monteverdi I attempted a Liszt of classical composers but had to go Bach because I couldn't get a Handel on it.


Don,

Pay no attention. My colleague means no harm. He's obviously slightly Brahms'd.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/12/2010 06:17:07

Here at my estate on Monteverdi I attempted a Liszt of classical composers but had to go Bach because I couldn't get a Handel on it.


Don,

Pay no attention. My colleague means no harm. He's obviously slightly Brahms'd.


Well, colleague Geezer, if you were Chopin onions all day like me, you'd be crying, too!!

(boo hoo)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 20/12/2010 06:28:26
if you were Chopin onions all day like me, you'd be crying, too!!

We'll probably be able to Mendelthatssohn, so don't worry about it.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/12/2010 06:41:55

Well something's gotta give, or I'll go baroque. Period!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 20/12/2010 06:46:45

Well something's gotta give, or I'll go baroque. Period!

Surely you mean Bismarck?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/12/2010 13:19:40
Are you some sort of a hood?

I need to find something to stops yarn horseing around.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 20/12/2010 19:12:55
Are you some sort of a hood?

I need to find something to stops yarn horseing around.

I was not horseing around. It was Demo hoodunnit sir!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/12/2010 23:15:54

Well something's gotta give, or I'll go baroque. Period!


Surely you mean Bismarck?


Geezer, why do you accuse me of sinking to such depraved depths? This thread has indeed hit upon some treacherous waters.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/12/2010 23:25:21
Are you some sort of a hood?

I need to find something to stops yarn horseing around.


I was not horseing around. It was Demo hoodunnit sir!


OK, you guys want a Whodunit??? Well, you asked for it! No mercy!!  [;D]

The electrician was suspected of wiretapping once but was never charged.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/12/2010 09:47:43
The electrician was suspected of wiretapping once but was never charged.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing021.gif&hash=44605df69e1507c3ed4d235c15c22e92) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Hahahahaha, oh dear! That's a gas!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/12/2010 14:36:54
What might have been the first ever pun?

Could it have been when a litterbug caveman spoilt the view of a meadow by discarding his old worn out boots there?

"Ugg lea".
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/12/2010 14:40:51
Geezer, why do you accuse me of sinking to such depraved depths? This thread has indeed hit upon some treacherous waters.


Mr Justice Soxon

Mr Demografx, You stand here accused of depth charges.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/12/2010 19:23:25
To both you guys:        (and everyone here contributing to my mirth day...

 [;D]    [;D]    [;D]    [;D]    [;D]


Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/12/2010 05:45:13

Geezer, why do you accuse me of sinking to such depraved depths? This thread has indeed hit upon some treacherous waters.


Mr Justice Soxon

Mr Demografx, You stand here accused of depth charges.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm4.static.flickr.com%2F3100%2F2794463063_53b1425e49.jpg&hash=83532f9ef6c852b8c5d058ab4f905140)

The Honorable Mr Justice Soxon relaxing between Sessions

(Judiciously, the socks match).
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/12/2010 05:49:30

The electrician was suspected of wiretapping once but was never charged.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing021.gif&hash=44605df69e1507c3ed4d235c15c22e92) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Hahahahaha, oh dear! That's a gas!


Everyone's fuming over the high cost of gas.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/12/2010 08:58:00
I phoned British Gas and had a blazing row with them over their prices. They told me there is another price rise in the pipeline.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/12/2010 03:10:57


Similar to tire prices, Don. Due to inflation.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 23/12/2010 03:15:09
Dion, I bet that made you flaming mad. And I am sure the inflation just made you hotter.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 23/12/2010 07:08:18
Take it easy JimBob. We don't want Don to get all irrigated.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/12/2010 08:17:35
Water you suggesting?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/12/2010 17:14:18

Dion, I bet that...


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Foldies.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fi%2Fboxart%2Fsimu%2F93%2F090431937020.jpg&hash=89d61731c948b71ccdbd54d77799444a) (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F_mbWThvBk2kA%2FSDwg84_dTVI%2FAAAAAAAAFhE%2FrteYA9K4TD8%2Fs320%2FDion.jpg&hash=d68fec86abcd1d93c652e68e17cf3d54)


JimBob, Dion is a Forum member? The Belmonts, too?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/12/2010 17:16:34

Water you suggesting?


Water you waiting for? Just jump in.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/12/2010 17:37:47

Take it easy JimBob. We don't want Don to get all irrigated.


I have no drought about that.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/12/2010 01:01:39

Similar to tire prices, Don. Due to inflation.


Dion, I bet that made you flaming mad. And I am sure the inflation just made you hotter.


Not with tires. Only with Viagra.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/12/2010 02:40:29
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftoons.artie.com%2F20010301%2Farg-dancing-happy-holidays-red-sm-url.gif&hash=49aa1261fec2406f1747d0890712d7a0)

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 26/12/2010 03:24:03
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftoons.artie.com%2F20010301%2Farg-dancing-happy-holidays-red-sm-url.gif&hash=49aa1261fec2406f1747d0890712d7a0)



The Alpha (first) bet lost - came up snake eyes  while playing craps.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/12/2010 22:47:15
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftoons.artie.com%2F20010301%2Farg-dancing-happy-holidays-red-sm-url.gif&hash=49aa1261fec2406f1747d0890712d7a0)


The Alpha (first) bet lost - came up snake eyes  while playing craps.


I wanted to gamble, but my wife said, "No Dice".
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/12/2010 19:52:27

You are giving up gambling?

Can I bet that you are not..........



Sean, how can you say that? You don't have the Vegas idea of my intentions!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Make it Lady on 27/12/2010 19:59:37
I went camping with my husband and got no rumpy pumpy, just a lot of in tent shuns.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/12/2010 20:03:22

I went camping with my husband and got no rumpy pumpy, just a lot of in tent shuns.


Reminds me of the fire at the circus. Did you hear about it? It was in tents!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 28/12/2010 06:30:27
Speaking of a fire at the circus, did they manage to keep the fire under wraps?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/12/2010 07:22:35

Nah, the circus manager tried real hard, but it's all unfair so he's always getting a bum wrap.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/12/2010 14:20:33

I went camping with my husband and got no rumpy pumpy, just a lot of in tent shuns.


Make It Lady, I'm sure one of us would gladly step up to the challenge and...er...fill in...what dereliction of husbandly duty!

Then afterwards, we could all celebrate and have a rump roast dinner. Nothing butt!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 28/12/2010 17:19:25
Aside from the Demon Demo doing his darnedest to delete my delectable dissertation, I can definitely say that dinner and a delightful night are definitely a desire at the present time, a thing that would be desirable is a cool night, as it is moderately warm here, decidedly dripping with humidity, and a darn sight sticky, without any of the delectable desirable doings that normally describe the delights that precede the sticky delight, just a hot muggy day here.

A rump roast dinner is not on the cards, more like a roast rear of an unfortunate reptilian descendant, rather the worse after losing the ability to fly, and even more so after losing the ability to cluck rather recently as well.

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/12/2010 18:04:43

Sean, Poetry In Motion!!!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 28/12/2010 19:09:48
Praise indeed from the master of cunning linguistics!

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 28/12/2010 19:24:12
Praise indeed from the master of cunning linguistics!



Did you know he's also a master magician? He loves cunning stunts.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 28/12/2010 20:09:35
I know, it is his mastery with his wand that amazes me, it is amazing just how well the orchestra plays when he waves that little stick at them, sheer musical enjoyment.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/12/2010 20:44:24

Praise indeed from the master of cunning linguistics!


 [:o]   [:o]    [:o]   [:o]   [:o]   [:o]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/12/2010 03:04:15

Did you know he's also a master magician?


Yes! People have even watched in awe as he walks down the street and turns into a drugstore!!

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 29/12/2010 16:25:04
You turned into a shop, would it be the transformation that amazes them, or the variety and potency of the supplies on the shelves?

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/12/2010 20:34:32

My magic has a short shelf life.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/12/2010 23:04:39

He loves cunning stunts.


I actually prefer publicity stunts.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/12/2010 23:42:33

...a darn sight sticky...

...delights that precede the sticky delight...




...when he waves that little stick...


Hmm. A predilection for "stick"??

Oh well. I've tried numerous times to apply myself, but nothing seems to stick.

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 30/12/2010 06:22:00
It is in the usage of the stick, not just the application therof to the object in question.........

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 30/12/2010 17:26:31
If you are RC, would you use a rhythm stick?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/12/2010 19:13:08

It is in the usage of the stick, not just the application therof to the object in question.........


I guess that means if you have sticky buns you shouldn't put pants on.


                                                     (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm2.static.flickr.com%2F1218%2F1460887361_9d2be0fe61.jpg&hash=41a91487a9dcdfdd2b143e3bdef9a329)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/12/2010 19:14:19

If you are RC, would you use a rhythm stick?


Ha. That reminds me of the dyslexic cop who was arrested for stopping drunk drivers and issuing them all IUD's.

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/12/2010 23:12:31
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdavidkiyokawa.com%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F12%2Fhappy-new-year-animated-gif-2.gif&hash=70e5e04a86523de72b3a0244a7a92e72)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 31/12/2010 23:21:51
You should see the snow around here. Looks like the fake stuff you see in movies. We certainly got a good flocking.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/01/2011 01:39:13

Geezer, I was thinking of seeing the movie, Little Flockers, but 'rotten tomatoes' gave it only a 10% rating!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/01/2011 21:19:28

We certainly got a good flocking.


A flock of doves decided to stage a coo.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/01/2011 14:42:02
I think the ring leader's name was coobler kahn.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Airthumbs on 04/01/2011 14:50:16
A magic tractor drove down the road and turned into a field!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/01/2011 15:56:04
Oh dear, you shouldn't have said that. you have invited a cornucopia of farming puns to be ploughed up by the combined harvesters of puns on this forum.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Airthumbs on 04/01/2011 18:05:47
Wheat else do you suggest?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 04/01/2011 22:36:47
Knock knock.

Who's there?

Dung can...

Duncan who?

Dung can make the grass grow.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Airthumbs on 05/01/2011 03:01:09
What do you call a farmer with a spade in his head?

Doug!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/01/2011 04:49:35

Did you know he's also a master magician?


Yes! People have even watched in awe as he walks down the street and turns into a drugstore!!


A magic tractor drove down the road and turned into a field!


Similar strokes for similar folks?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/01/2011 04:55:06
Knock knock.

Who's there?

Dung can...

Duncan who?

Dung can make the grass grow.


Really? No sh - - !!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/01/2011 05:04:36

We certainly got a good flocking.


A flock of doves decided to stage a coo.


I think the ring leader's name was coobler kahn.


Not sam t. cooleridge???
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Airthumbs on 05/01/2011 05:30:34
A flock of crows flew over the farm yesterday... it was murder!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/01/2011 05:30:58

Oh dear, you shouldn't have said that. you have invited a cornucopia of farming puns to be ploughed up by the combined harvesters of puns on this forum.


I think this one deserves a prize:

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fphoto.jpg&hash=51d0cca154d3b82b5b05f0fdafcdbd4c)

Sorry, Don, I couldn't find one in your gender...
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 05/01/2011 05:34:26
Knock knock.

Who's there?

Dung can...

Duncan who?

Dung can make the grass grow.


Really? No sh - - !!

No. Quite a lot really.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/01/2011 09:02:03
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fphoto.jpg&hash=51d0cca154d3b82b5b05f0fdafcdbd4c)

They don't look like corns to me. Is something afoot here?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/01/2011 15:37:43
Defeat stared us in the face, so did de toes and de ankles.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 05/01/2011 16:41:15
Well, we were under a tack at the time.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/01/2011 16:56:07
I would go so far as to say we were well and truly screwed. But we turned the tables and gave them a good hammering.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 05/01/2011 17:48:06
Pretty much a nailated I'd call it. Just as well we were able to get three-and-fourpence.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/01/2011 21:14:50
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fphoto.jpg&hash=51d0cca154d3b82b5b05f0fdafcdbd4c)

They don't look like corns to me. Is something afoot here?


Aw, shucks, Don, it was my Consultant's fault, below, Princess Husk!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.blindpigment.com%2Fimages%2FCornWoman.jpg&hash=4d82167f4134190238f97ae5029ef8fe)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/01/2011 21:33:14
Knock knock.

Who's there?

Dung can...

Duncan who?

Dung can make the grass grow.


Really? No sh - - !!

No. Quite a lot really.


Whew! For a sec there, I thought you were feeding me a buncha crap...
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 05/01/2011 21:42:42
I would go so far as to say we were well and truly screwed. But we turned the tables and gave them a good hammering.

It's just as well Brad brought all those staples with him, or we might have starved to death. Just as well too, cause some of the men were going a bit nuts and getting ready to bolt.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/01/2011 22:01:32


Seems like Brad nailed it, even though he didn't bring a hammer.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/01/2011 10:29:54
Brad? I'd pitt my wits against him any time. It would be plane sailing. I shall file my report for all to saw ---- Oops, wrong tense, I mean 'see'.

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/01/2011 01:43:49

Don't be too harsh, I heard from the buzz that he's a sensitive gay blade.  And don't chisel him out of his due respect. There's room for many of us to grind out our unique contribution. Weld, I have to go now.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 07/01/2011 02:20:31
Weld there's no need to be so brazing about it. I suppose we'll just have to solder on without you.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/01/2011 07:27:25

Weld there's no need to be so brazing about it. I suppose we'll just have to solder on without you.


OK, then solder on if you must. As long as you're not gunning for me. We can always iron things out later!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/01/2011 11:25:36
There goes Demo, showing his metal. Could he be a retired copper? I don't know what lead me to say that.

Oooo, Owch, my plumbago is playing up.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 07/01/2011 15:22:03
OK, then solder on if you must.

We shall. And we will ensure that the metal gets fluxed.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/01/2011 17:27:22

This whole thread is in a state of flux. Hasta lumbago, guys, I'm going to the coppers' retirement ball. Hm, Don is so perceptive I wonder how he knew I was a copper, I'm usually so off-beat.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/01/2011 18:04:25
Just what planished are you living on?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 07/01/2011 18:10:12
I wouldn't say I was exactly planished, but I am getting slightly peckish.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 07/01/2011 19:17:01
Peckish, like Gregory or like Silky?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/01/2011 20:13:21


Just what planished are you living on?


This chat is making me phamished, gotta eat sump'n now.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/01/2011 21:55:19

I wouldn't say I was exactly planished, but I am getting slightly peckish.


Not to worry, Geezer, we have no pecking order here.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/01/2011 12:24:11
But you could end up with a hefty bill.

If you refuse to pay, you will find yourself up in front of the beak.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/01/2011 21:57:51

Well, I'm standing my ground, so I will just bea kourageous!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 09/01/2011 05:55:40
Like my mum used to say, "If you can't be good, bea kareful."

So there, beak!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 09/01/2011 10:42:26
And if you can't be careful , make sure you don't do it where there are non witless witnesses.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/01/2011 00:25:20

It paste to be careful with glue.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 10/01/2011 07:00:13
Q: Why do they call him Charles Atlas?

A: Because 'e never wears an 'at.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/01/2011 10:07:53
You bowlered me over with that, I just can't topper it.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/01/2011 20:28:37
Q: Why do they call him Charles Atlas?

A: Because 'e never wears an 'at.

For the above pun, Geezer gets the Charles Atlas Demografx Award!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fitnesshealthzone.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F06%2Fcharles-atlas.jpg&hash=ccc232674c51050e49cd8e53f719be87)


(Geezer will receive this recent picture of me - autographed! )

Framed, too!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/01/2011 21:44:29


Q: Why do they call him Charles Atlas?

A: Because 'e never wears an 'at.


You bowlered me over with that, I just can't topper it.


Hmm. Ya know, you two bowlers bear a striking resemblance!

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 10/01/2011 22:29:13

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fitnesshealthzone.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F06%2Fcharles-atlas.jpg&hash=ccc232674c51050e49cd8e53f719be87)


Can you turn around? I think it looks more like Gregory's pecks.

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/01/2011 23:40:54

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fitnesshealthzone.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F06%2Fcharles-atlas.jpg&hash=ccc232674c51050e49cd8e53f719be87)


Can you turn around? I think it looks more like Gregory's pecks.


Harrrumph, ok, Geezer, but your request is absolutely infuriating, let me tell ya!!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi6.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fy215%2Fhaven555%2Fugly_fat_man_big_tummy_funny_pictur.jpg&hash=deb581ce3fe46d5e62bef9554a1c601e)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/01/2011 12:42:37
So, you think you can post a picture of me here with impunity eh!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/01/2011 18:40:04


So, you think you can post a picture of me here with impunity eh!


Uh-oh! Why do I feel that my picture-posting will now lead to my punishment??? (I hope I won't get punched out!!)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/01/2011 16:01:08
After much puntification, the court has ruled that you be immersed in a stagnant fishpund, whereupon your odour will become extremely pungent.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/01/2011 16:48:48

I accept said punishment deservedly and will not be punacious or repunant in any manner.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 15/01/2011 21:12:27
Will you punctilious punters please pole your punt punctually to the place for puny punks?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 16/01/2011 01:48:20
Pardon me dude, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/01/2011 03:01:33

Will you punctilious punters please pole your punt punctually to the place for puny punks?


Geezer, Geewhiz, what in Geeziz name would make Gearz like ours spin like Whirling Geervishez and defy Laws of Geezravity???
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 19/01/2011 18:12:14
Is a counteroffensive French for somebody that can't do arithmetic?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/01/2011 21:01:33
No, the counteroffensive is really just the aftermath of the teacher grading his arithmetic.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 20/01/2011 00:44:45
Is it true that the fresh air accused the smog of acting like a complete aerosol?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/01/2011 04:19:33

Is it true that the fresh air accused the smog of acting like a complete aerosol?


When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/01/2011 15:37:27
I think you have mist the point.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/01/2011 15:56:27
Is it true that the fresh air accused the smog of acting like a complete aerosol?

need a pair of shoes? (http://www.qype.co.uk/place/38745-R-Soles-London/photos/98079)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/01/2011 21:40:40

Don, is that the sole place they can be found?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/01/2011 21:45:09

I think you have mist the point.


True. I usually don't have the foggiest notion.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 21/01/2011 00:16:09

Don, is that the sole place they can be found?

I understand they also franchise them to "Cobblers At Last"
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/01/2011 00:50:43


Of course! They even supplied the old-time rockers when they performed "Blue Suede Shoes".
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 21/01/2011 04:30:40
I didn't know they did that one. I thought it was "Glue Made Hooves"
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/01/2011 07:29:39


No,you're confusing it with "Johnny B. Glued". The publishing rights were recently bought by Bill Gaits. And did he ever pony up a small fortune to buy it!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/01/2011 12:50:52
........ "Glue Made Hooves"

I'll bet you're knackered after working that one out.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/01/2011 13:11:52
'Er indoors broke the heel off her shoe the other day, so she took it to the cobblers to be healed.

Over the door was a royal crest and the legend 'By Appointment, Cobblers to the Queen'. Would that constitute treason? Could he have his tongue cut out for not being in step with popular notions? Has he reached the upper limit? Should we take out his eyes for not toeing the line? Would he realise if he were first laced with vodka? What would be the last thing he would ever see? Call the police, quickly, to deal with this man, get that famous detective Slipper (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Slipper) of the Yard to investigate.

Does this very nearly cap it all? I hope you can read it all, I should hate to have to revamp it.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/01/2011 13:16:58


.... The publishing rights were recently bought by Bill Gaits. And did he ever pony up a small fortune to buy it!


He took it in his stride.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/01/2011 14:13:32
Alternative soliloquy to Shookarrow's mild cigar.

To b, or not to b, wasp's dilemma.

To c, or not to c, optician's dilemma.

To d, or not to d, tomorrow's dilemma.

To e, or not to e, Fosters dilemma.

To f, or not to f, dentist's dilemma.

To g, or not to g, horse's dilemma.

To h, or not to h, another dentist's dilemma.

To i, or not to i, upper class footballer's dilemma.

To j, or not to j, pedestrian's dilemma.

To k, or not to k, Gecko's dilemma.

To l, or not to l, St Peter's dilemma.

To m, or not to m, grave digger's dilemma.

To n, or not to n, composer's dilemma.

To o, or to it, owl's dilemma.

To p, or not to p, (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Ftoliot%2F4.gif&hash=d1df33dc30523330aff539d0ebf1eea7)

To q, or not to q, bus passengers' dilemma.

To r, or not to r, guide's dilemma.

To s, or not to s, chiropodist's dilemma.

To t, or not to t, fruit's dilemma.

To u, or not to u, Ram's dilemma.

To v, or not to v, auctioneer's dilemma.

To w, or not to w, mathematician's dilemma.

To x, or not to x, breakfast's dilemma.

To y, or not to y, inquisitor's dilemma.

I've z and I shall zay no more.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/01/2011 19:21:00
'Er indoors broke the heel off her shoe the other day, so she took it to the cobblers to be healed.

Over the door was a royal crest and the legend 'By Appointment, Cobblers to the Queen'. Would that constitute treason? Could he have his tongue cut out for not being in step with popular notions? Has he reached the upper limit? Should we take out his eyes for not toeing the line? Would he realise if he were first laced with vodka? What would be the last thing he would ever see? Call the police, quickly, to deal with this man, get that famous detective Slipper (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Slipper) of the Yard to investigate.

Does this very nearly cap it all? I hope you can read it all, I should hate to have to revamp it.

Wow! I hereby nominate Don as a shoe-in for this award below!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.saferoutestoschool.ca%2Fgallery%2Fgallery%252FWalking_is_Fun%252FIWALK06-GoldenShoe.JPG&hash=a9aa7110fe7ae9632d719d474fbee020)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 21/01/2011 19:24:21
Maybe he should get the boot  [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/01/2011 22:04:12

Maybe he should get the boot  [;D]


And for Geezer's pun above, he gets THIS award!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.crystalimagesinc.com%2Fboot_mx07.jpg&hash=1f2438e6a7b458909bd608137a939768)

(Sorry, Geezer, but I could only find 2 left feet [;D] )
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/01/2011 22:20:31

To p, or not to p, (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Ftoliot%2F4.gif&hash=d1df33dc30523330aff539d0ebf1eea7)


oooooooo...urine trouble now!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 22/01/2011 04:55:17
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.crystalimagesinc.com%2Fboot_mx07.jpg&hash=1f2438e6a7b458909bd608137a939768)

(Sorry, Geezer, but I could only find 2 left feet [;D] )

Canadians wouldn't care aboot that.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/01/2011 05:15:45

Eh?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 22/01/2011 06:19:30
Did you know the UK has the eh, eh, while the US has the eh, eh, eh, eh?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/01/2011 06:29:02

Did you know the UK has the eh, eh, while the US has the eh, eh, eh, eh?


hee hee
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/01/2011 13:14:18

Did you know the UK has the eh, eh, while the US has the eh, eh, eh, eh?


hee hee

No, eh eh, are you dyslek dislecks dissleksyc Oh bugger it!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/01/2011 18:11:50

Have you heard The Dyslexics Battle Cry?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Dyslexics Untie!!"
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 22/01/2011 18:50:34
They always fly on Untidy Airlines too.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/01/2011 21:04:20

They always fly on Untidy Airlines too.


Still better than GWA (Geezer World Airways)...(flight attendant required training as exemplified below)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.creators.com%2Feditorial_cartoons%2F14%2F3777_image.gif&hash=d650aba840bdde9ae0ca90f71d207322)

No doubt they're all on their way to Tahiti...(island owned by Geezer & Co.)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/01/2011 05:32:20

Take heart. Valentine's Day is coming soon.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/01/2011 12:10:57

Take heart. Valentine's Day is coming soon.

I suppose ay orta know that.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 25/01/2011 04:29:15
That's bloody pumping it!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 25/01/2011 04:34:07
That's bloody pumping it!

Most appropriate for the St Valentine's Day (massacre).
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/01/2011 08:55:28
I always get a stack of bloody cards on Valentines day, no really, I'm not just being vein.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/01/2011 09:05:41
I always get a stack of bloody cards on Valentines day, no really, I'm not just being vein.

Its true, I tell you, I am so handsome I am know locally as Papillon. When I was younger I was known as caterpillary.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 25/01/2011 17:29:54
Its true, I tell you, I am so handsome I am know locally as Papillon. When I was younger I was known as caterpillary.

I didn't think you were that vein. Artery, I thought you were quite modest.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/01/2011 23:06:29
I wish I could've bypassed my surgery last year. Five different ways! But at least they were open about it. And they rushed me to politely and diplomatically, er, ignored me when I said, "Have a heart! Where's the emergency???"

People need to make more room for differences of opinion.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 26/01/2011 06:25:52
I always get a stack of bloody cards on Valentines day, no really, I'm not just being vein.

Perhaps people thought they were sending cards to Don_1 DeMarco.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/01/2011 10:05:44
You may have hit de marc on target there!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/01/2011 10:10:26
There's a murmur going around you had heart problems in the past Demo. I hope you'll be OK in the suture.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/01/2011 10:20:25
Its true, I tell you, I am so handsome I am know locally as Papillon. When I was younger I was known as caterpillary.

I didn't think you were that vein. Artery, I thought you were quite modest.

Have you been hacking in to my e-cards? (Card e hack).
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/01/2011 16:58:53

Card e hack??? Why,  <sputter>  that's illegal!! It could lead to an arrest!!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/01/2011 17:00:59
Arrest???? Yes, actually I could do with a rest.(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fsleeping%2F9.gif&hash=49a075fe545173e6a232819362e25198)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/01/2011 17:03:40

There's a murmur going around you had heart problems in the past Demo. I hope you'll be OK in the suture.


Thanks, Don! These days it's no more than heartburn for me!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/01/2011 17:05:52

Arrest???? Yes, actually I could do with a rest.(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fsleeping%2F9.gif&hash=49a075fe545173e6a232819362e25198)


And a rest is history.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/01/2011 17:08:02
Oooo, I do like his story at bed time.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 26/01/2011 20:43:15
Arrest???? Yes, actually I could do with a rest.(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fsleeping%2F9.gif&hash=49a075fe545173e6a232819362e25198)

NO! Irish stew in the name of the law.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/01/2011 21:19:26

But I thought you were Scottish!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 27/01/2011 01:45:06
OK. 

Haggis in the name of the law.

(hmmm???)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/01/2011 02:37:08


OK. 

Haggis in the name of the law.

(hmmm???)


OK. You win.

Speaking of the law, do lawyers wear law suits?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 27/01/2011 05:26:37
You guys are punny; your remarks bring hearty laughs.

Did you hear about the Chinese lawyer?  Her name is Sue Yu. [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 27/01/2011 09:25:50
Well My lawyer is I.P. Freely and he can really put the fire out if Ker-choo's, and Sue's Me!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/01/2011 10:27:24
OK. 

Haggis in the name of the law.

(hmmm???)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing021.gif&hash=44605df69e1507c3ed4d235c15c22e92) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) I like it!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/01/2011 10:29:46
Chinese? Yes I have, that's why I always wear long trousers, to keep them covered up.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/01/2011 10:31:51

Speaking of the law, do lawyers wear law suits?

Yes, and they wear briefs under them.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/01/2011 20:09:02

You guys are punny; your remarks bring hearty laughs.

Did you hear about the Chinese lawyer?  Her name is Sue Yu. [;D]


I worked with her! She's excellent. Her telephone number is still ** 1-800-LETS-SUE

                                                                  ** 0800 in the UK
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/01/2011 20:13:55

Well My lawyer is I.P. Freely and he can really put the fire out if Ker-choo's, and Sue's Me!


 [;D]


Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 27/01/2011 20:19:20
I use the old law firm of Dewey, Cheetham, and Howe.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/01/2011 20:21:29
Do you know what happens when you combine The Godfather with a lawyer?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
You get an offer you can't understand.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 27/01/2011 23:10:46
What's hard to understand is why the man who went for surgery to have a gangrenous leg removed can't sue his doctor for cutting off the wrong leg, then having to go back and remove the one he was supposed to remove in the first place.  His lawyer was Sue Yu and she told him he didn't have a leg to stand on in court.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 27/01/2011 23:17:31
What do you call the person with no arms and no legs

in the bushes?  Russell
in the ditch?  Phil
on the wall?  Art
on the eastern horizon?  Dawn
on the floor?  Matt
who's an exercise fanatic?  Jim
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/01/2011 23:28:52
OK. 

Haggis in the name of the law.

(hmmm???)


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing021.gif&hash=44605df69e1507c3ed4d235c15c22e92) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) I like it!


OK, then, Don. Dig in!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fdde69d07.jpg&hash=ded28c9522c58aac1fcd50a80263c2b4)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/01/2011 06:56:30

I use the old law firm of Dewey, Cheetham, and Howe.


Howe Dewey meet them?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/01/2011 18:01:35
Employ Messers Bojjit & Leggit (Property Maintainence) Inc. and they(The Eh! Team) will find you.

"Ah Hello, I'm Julle and this is my friend Sand" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0I408B1jiw&feature=related)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/01/2011 18:32:18

Only 63 days left till April Fool's Day. Hope everyone's prepared!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 28/01/2011 18:56:00

Only 63 days left till April Fool's Day. Hope everyone's prepared!

Oh, you mean Tax day! I get mine prepared by a CPA.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/01/2011 20:54:42

I heard your CPA enjoys his work, figuratively speaking.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 29/01/2011 06:29:53
SHE has good figures.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/01/2011 08:26:28
Yes she does! And as CPA for  a restaurant, she has to be especially sure the books are not cooked.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/01/2011 20:19:19

Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 30/01/2011 21:20:05
Are Rotarians just sectarians by another name?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/01/2011 00:56:52

Are Rotarians just sectarians by another name?


Certainly you must be referring to  the insect affinity group, International Fellowship of Cricket Loving Rotarians
www.rotarycricket.org/

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/01/2011 01:07:45

Whoops! It's the sport Cricket, not the insect! Oh, well. [:I]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 31/01/2011 04:01:47
You mean to say cricket's a sport? I thought it was mass hypnosis.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/01/2011 04:14:51

You mean to say cricket's a sport? I thought it was mass hypnosis.


That's just not cricket to say.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/02/2011 21:46:16

At Naked Science Forum we have so many threads, why aren't there more tailors???
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 03/02/2011 22:50:23
I don't think it suits them.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/02/2011 02:39:21
 [;D]  [;D]  [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/02/2011 17:55:58

At Naked Science Forum we have so many threads, why aren't there more tailors???


I don't think it suits them.


My local dry-cleaner has a dozen suits in court.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/02/2011 21:38:27

People are determined to remain silent, to say the least.

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 07/02/2011 18:53:59
You have the right to silence, and if you give up this right we will be forced to listen to you ad nauseum, ad infinitium and of course till the cows come home.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/02/2011 04:37:15
Good pun [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 08/02/2011 04:44:00
Silence? I'll give you silence
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/02/2011 21:33:43

Silence? I'll give you silence.


Which one?  A silent movie? Golden silence? A deafening silence? A broken silence? A suffering in silence?

Inquiring minds wanna know!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 08/02/2011 21:52:12
































.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/02/2011 01:52:38

 [;D]   [;D]   [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 09/02/2011 17:43:05
A Blinding Silence!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 09/02/2011 17:49:16


Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/02/2011 02:42:33




.


A Blinding Silence!


Maybe because Geezer lost his Status as Anecdotal Physicist??

Anyway...did you hear about the two seeing eye dogs that went on a blind date?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/02/2011 02:47:14



I love that song, thanks, Sean. There was a good sound reason to post that.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 10/02/2011 21:34:39
Glad I could make an impression on you, I thought that this sounded best for the occasion.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/02/2011 23:20:24
Sean, you sound a little hoarse. I hope you don't  feel a colt coming on.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 13/02/2011 11:46:08
Hardly a colt, possibly a little hair of the dog will help, if not then I will have to try some other remedy or some other melody.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 13/02/2011 15:35:00



An echo in my past....wonderful song of silence......
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 13/02/2011 18:31:17
A two enjoyments for one posting special that was, thank you Karen!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/02/2011 01:34:21



An echo in my past....wonderful song of silence......


A two enjoyments for one posting special that was, thank you Karen!


What?? Can you repeat that??
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/02/2011 01:37:56

Hardly a colt, possibly a little hair of the dog will help, if not then I will have to try some other remedy or some other melody.


Careful, Sean, lest the melody keeps on playing until it becomes a strain!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 14/02/2011 03:31:25

Hardly a colt, possibly a little hair of the dog will help, if not then I will have to try some other remedy or some other melody.


Careful, Sean, lest the melody keeps on playing until it becomes a strain!


I know it's hard, but will you try to refrain yourself, and refrain from making similar remarks in future.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 14/02/2011 04:18:01
So, shall we refrain from making this a refrain?

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/02/2011 20:25:11


Hardly a colt, possibly a little hair of the dog will help, if not then I will have to try some other remedy or some other melody.


Careful, Sean, lest the melody keeps on playing until it becomes a strain!


I know it's hard, but will you try to refrain yourself, and refrain from making similar remarks in future.


So, shall we refrain from making this a refrain?


Refrain? Of chorus we will!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: tbarron on 15/02/2011 12:34:31
Did you hear about the cross-eyed schooteacher?

She had trouble with her pupils.

Every time she cried, the tears ran down the back of her neck.

That gave her bacteria.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/02/2011 19:51:38


Did you hear about the cross-eyed schooteacher?

She had trouble with her pupils.


Yes, one of her pupils was suspended for cheating after eyeing another pupil's exam sheet!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 15/02/2011 20:35:51
Did you hear about the cross-eyed schooteacher?

She had trouble with her pupils.

Every time she cried, the tears ran down the back of her neck.

That gave her bacteria.

I bet that got up her humps. Maybe she was a bacterian?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/02/2011 21:49:51
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg706.imageshack.us%2Fimg706%2F2765%2Fbacterian.png&hash=e9543bbedc18ff76c85ff0a81c38a933)

This one?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/02/2011 22:47:39

Every time she cried, the tears ran down the back of her neck.

That gave her bacteria.


I thought that was the back door to a cafeteria!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/02/2011 02:44:11
Speaking of doors....there is only one way to open the door and that is the key.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/02/2011 14:42:42
I don't like skinny keys or fat keys, but I don't mind keys which are a little chubby.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/02/2011 17:36:54
I say put the chubby keys on a diet. Fat chance they'll do it?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 21/02/2011 06:04:42
These days, I'd be happy with a little chubby.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/02/2011 11:08:26
These days, I'd be happy with a little chubby.

I hope Mrs Geezer doesn't see that, you might have trouble explaining yourself.


I hear Yale University is relockating it's school of carpentry to Florida's Key West. They hope to teach students how to make the perfect mortice and tennon joint.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/02/2011 20:53:23

These days, I'd be happy with a little chubby.


 [:o] [;D] [::)] [:o] [;D] [::)]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/02/2011 21:38:29

I hear Yale University is relockating it's school of carpentry to Florida's Key West. They hope to teach students how to make the perfect mortice and tennon joint.


What? Are you operating on all cylinders??? Teaching students how to make a superior combination of mortice and tennon joints will be addressed by Yale University's keynote speaker, who will unlock the secret to the school of carpentry's success, that is, a much more suitable relockation to Woodmere, Long Island, New York! Even the President's Cabinet has approved the idea.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 21/02/2011 23:24:05
Even the President's Cabinet has approved the idea.


Woody like me to be a guest cabinet speaker?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/02/2011 06:17:30

Woody ever! But you're in enough trouble already with your chubby and now your woody...
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/02/2011 10:32:59
Even the President's Cabinet has approved the idea.


Woody like me to be a guest cabinet speaker?

Yes, indeed e wood.

You must address the chair of the cabinet, whereupon you may table a motion. Be careful not to go against the grain, theses people are knot to be trifled with. They pine for the unaccustomed speaker.

Should your motion be carpeted, you can cushion the effect. you must display unity, but know where to drawer the line.

If your wife wishes to be present, I shall be happy to joiner and will be pleased to furnish you with more tips and help you polish your speach (or spapricot) if required.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/02/2011 16:43:04
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fcarpenter_gift_mousepad-p144121816510487956trc6_152.jpg&hash=25fe07f318f5298ba86203688d704107)

Once again, Don walks away with an Excellence Award!

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/02/2011 13:47:22
How kind, nice to know my lunacy does not go unnoticed.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/02/2011 16:01:53

How kind, nice to know my lunacy does not go unnoticed.


This is sick, but the only one I could come up with. The frog went unnoticed in the milkshake because it blended so well.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/02/2011 16:08:37

These days, I'd be happy with a little chubby.


 [:o] [;D] [::)] [:o] [;D] [::)]


And let's not forget The Chubby Award for Geezer!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fprofile.ak.fbcdn.net%2Fhprofile-ak-snc4%2Fhs342.snc4%2F41571_122447097772719_1485_n.jpg&hash=39c7e9281671479d8f49eb2576c2cc1c)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/02/2011 17:47:05

How kind, nice to know my lunacy does not go unnoticed.


This is sick, but the only one I could come up with. The frog went unnoticed in the milkshake because it blended so well.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.anchoredbygrace.com%2Fsmileys%2Fsheildsmile.gif&hash=e1f56a806dbaef87739aef5e02e4d59a) A pun, a pun, my Kingdom for a pun.


Or should that be a horse?

 [ Invalid Attachment ]

"Horse", I said, deaf head.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/02/2011 19:16:04
I'm hearse, too, I hope it's not a colt.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 24/02/2011 00:16:32
I'm hearse, too, I hope it's not a colt.

It could be if you've been coffin a lot. BTW, do undertakers have to go to a lot of rehearsals?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/02/2011 04:46:16
Geezer, that's a terrible cough you've got. Consumption be done about it?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 24/02/2011 06:26:32
I'm hearse, too, I hope it's not a colt.

If you're manely horse it's a cinch to trot over to the centaur of town and get some colt medication, unless you want to just ride it out.  If you have hayfever you might wish for rein.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 24/02/2011 07:51:53
How do you know he's not a centaur then?

Because he ain't half hoarse.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/02/2011 11:38:47
Are we to be saddled with a herd of equine puns?

I must be off now, I have a bit of work to do, but first I'm going to have some toast with maple stirrup which I shall ram down my gullet. Hope it doesn't give me the trots!!! The last thing I need is to be constantly going for a pony! I'm looking forward to some unbridled passion tonight.

I do hope it doesn't rein while I'm about my business.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/02/2011 00:21:51

I'm hearse, too, I hope it's not a colt.


If you're manely horse it's a cinch to trot over to the centaur of town and get some colt medication, unless you want to just ride it out.  If you have hayfever you might wish for rein.


Donnah isn't horsing around here, she's serious! Don, Geezer, and Sean are too, but they've just been hogging horsing too many awards, so this one's for Donnah!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fappaloosablogspot.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2008%2F11%2Fironhorseaward.jpg&hash=4297d2ebca9367a95a29ba49a19582bd)

Besides, no one is superior here. We're all equus.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here? - Deleted by demografx at 2011-02-25 03:47:49 - Deleted by Geezer at 2011-02-25 20:11:18
Post by: Geezer on 25/02/2011 02:05:39
Two posts in a row? Isn't that gelding the lily a bit?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 25/02/2011 05:02:34
Oi! Where's me post?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/02/2011 10:01:00
Well there's a turn up, Geezer. Looks like Demo has been postnapping. Has he sent you a ransom note?

Quote
Your posts are OK but you will never see them again unless you do as I say. You will get your instructions soon. Do not contact the Fuzz or you will never see them again
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/02/2011 10:30:18
Yep, no doubt about it, you have to hand it to Donnah, she's the main man (well, woman actually).

But I see Demo hoof only given her a bronze award. Hi ho! Silver should have been awarded.

Fetch locks to secure said award until the ceremony. I shall look after the key..... Yup, it will be a Don Key. I shall also arrange the seating so we can all sit our asses down while the town mare presents the award.

I was going to put a piece of ribbon around the award, but can't find my scissors, I cantear some off if that would be OK.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/02/2011 18:23:34
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mannythemovieguy.com%2Fimages%2Fthe-lone-ranger.jpg&hash=e414fbaecb5d383a26e86fee813a7530)

Look! There's Don, bringing Donnah's award to her! Thanks, Don!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 25/02/2011 18:45:01
Thanks Keemosabies!

The bronze looks manely like my hair.  Silver's mouth is open (appropriate).  I'd like to pack a 6 shooter like my great-grampa (Tom Sawyer) used to.  The mask could hide some of the wrinkles I've earned in my golden years.

Hi ho Silver, I'm going away!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 26/02/2011 00:28:54
Fetch locks to secure said award until the ceremony. I shall look after the key..... Yup, it will be a Don Key. I shall also arrange the seating so we can all sit our asses down while the town mare presents the award.

Is Demo giving out the award in Sam Pam's Disco? Has he arranged to have the award presented by the Bay Mayor?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/02/2011 01:54:09
Geezer, Don is key, so he's been assigned the task of awarding Donnah.

The mare of Sam Pam's Disco will be kept at bay.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 27/02/2011 06:02:05
Quote
Is Demo giving out the award in Sam Pam's Disco? Has he arranged to have the award presented by the Bay Mayor?

Well I've herd that the old Bay Mayor, she ain't what she used to be.  Seems she bridles when saddled with too much horsing around.  I realize that's a blanket  statement, but I've got to race, so at the post, I'm off.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/02/2011 21:59:35
Trotting off again, Donnah, such a busy life keeps you racing I bet! But don't rush around too much, and be thorough about the bred you eat. And too much racing around can lead to leg cramps, like a charley horse.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/03/2011 02:53:33

Do undertakers have to go to a lot of rehearsals?


Everyone got plastered for the Beethoven rehearsal. It was the bottom of the Ninth, chorus tight, basses loaded.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 01/03/2011 03:41:13
What bar did they start at?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/03/2011 06:46:02
It was in Alaska. A polar bar.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/03/2011 11:05:04
Not the Alaskan Polar Bar! That's a real grizzly place. They only sell brown ale, you can't even get a Coca Koala there!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/03/2011 16:47:13
Neigh, Neigh, Don, bear with me for just a moment!

The Alaskan Polar Bar has changed. So please get your bearings.

I know what you're thinking: If you saw a bear foot in the woods it would give you paws for concern.

Think instead of the old saw, "If you can't bear the heat, then get the hell out of the kitchen!"
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/03/2011 17:27:45
Oh sbare me the old proverbs please.

Last I herd the place was still so rough you have to sign a disclaimer claws before they'll let you in.

I commented on the originality of sawdust on the floor. "Sawdust! Sawdust?" said the bareman* "That's not sawdust, that's last night's furniture!" The mob then pelted me strawbearies.

*He was in the nude and apparantly suffers from bipolar dissorder.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/03/2011 18:15:05
Oh yes, you're right. I do remember Teddy, the Alaskan Polar Bar bareman. He could barely keep his clothes on, but by all accounts a beary nice guy!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/03/2011 04:03:18
Speaking of clothing, has anyone ever had a Clothes Encounter?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 02/03/2011 06:16:53
Only once. It was in the Bearing Sea, off Alaska.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/03/2011 07:18:28
That's near the Russian Bear!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F_Z-DEoN3ydt4%2FSNaAF5sOYxI%2FAAAAAAAAAN4%2FyGtGmrvblG0%2Fs400%2FRussian%2BBear.jpg&hash=081677364230d640dda961fb3a39e0ab)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 02/03/2011 11:36:33
I hear tell that was suppossed to be close to where the next asstroid should come down bearing that all the bear facts have been calculated to the most precise asspects of trajectory...
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/03/2011 15:01:51
Karen, that was bearilliant reporting, thank you!!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fusa.stockfood.com%2Fimages-pictures%2FWoman%2520licking%2520an%2520ice%2520cream-403246.jpg&hash=24247a340d11b5afe6dbfcee2ef8ea08)

NewsFlash! Karen gets Reporter Award  for being at an ice cream store getting the scoop.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/03/2011 15:03:50
Speaking of clothing, has anyone ever had a Clothes Encounter?

Yes inded I have and would like to hear of any other such clothes shaves, so sock it to me.

Shall I tell you about it? (pants in anticipation)

I had been working on the Egyptian finds sponsored by Lord Cardigan. It was getting late and I had had enough of work, so I thought I would jacket in for the day. On my way home I decided to skirt around the town. Traffic was still heavy and drivers were getting shirty. 'Button your lip' I said to one as he zipped up the hard shoulder pad. Just then I saw a jumper on the bridge, so I put my boot down. He looked laced with booze. I continued gown down the road until I reached Bromley By Bow, where my need for a visit to the loo got almost too much to bare. I thought I would have to tie a knot in it. I stopped and went to the loo. Upon my return a copper felt my collar. "Ello, allo, ello, you can't park 'ere sur." He said.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fangry2%2F11.gif&hash=ef77c6e2d50d42acd17192a634104bfe) Oi! Button your lip, you old fool.

But...... but....... but the vest is yet to come.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/03/2011 15:57:07
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F_KIYe7DH8LRw%2FSxTMUp5HdQI%2FAAAAAAAACCg%2FJKw27nqvVTA%2Fs1600%2FDSC05158-1.JPG&hash=593a674bd032bdcf1359905f181279c1)

Gus Albert didn't show up, so Don proudly claims the Award!!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/03/2011 16:04:29

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fangry2%2F11.gif&hash=ef77c6e2d50d42acd17192a634104bfe) Oi! Button your lip, you old fool.


That was a snappy reply!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/03/2011 15:46:22

Oi! Where's me post?


Not sure, but we'll keep you posted.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 05/03/2011 12:12:14
Probably was transferred to the round bit filing system...........

Or removed to the new popular board......./dev/null

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/03/2011 20:06:18
Sean, I'm not sure. I've been to the new popular board...../dev/null.

They insist that the only way to find Geezer's post is by contacting the post office.

Perhaps through your contacts, you know the Postmaster General?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 06/03/2011 11:06:34
I do not know the PMG, but have asked one of his minions as to the POSiTion of the search for the post, and he replied that it was found, but that the post office it was in was a little slow, and the only postman that knew the POSiTion of the post in question was absent from his post, and that if he did not return soon the post would be declared vacant. If that is verified then the post in question would be untraceable and would probably end up at the dead letters office, where it's disPOSiTion would be hard to say.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/03/2011 03:33:38
Sean, this is quickly becoming an imPOsSTible situation for Geezer!

Surely, he will now blame me for POSTulating the wrong formulae for retrieving it, and POsSTibly even have my photograph shown in each POST office for my heinous offense!

He might even "go postal" on me!!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 07/03/2011 06:09:18
If you mofos don't knock it off PDQ, the only postal thing will be postmortem.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/03/2011 17:42:47
mofos? I'm reporting you to Martha FoCor! (Forum Contributor)

PDQ? nah, just go Bach to what you were doing!

Postmortem? Don't be anal: over-analysis leads to paralysis!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 08/03/2011 07:08:03
and immobility gets you nowhere.

Would anyone undertake searching the dead letter office for Geezer's mia post?

Karen's so cool!  When I saw she got an award Icecreamed.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/03/2011 16:39:14
This is National Sleep Awareness Week!
http://www.awarenessdates.com/2008/03/national-sleep-awareness-week.html

Doze anyone have a comment to make?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/03/2011 23:40:51

Karen's so cool!  When I saw she got an award Icecreamed.


Whew! I had to read that twice!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/03/2011 11:55:39
This is National Sleep Awareness Week!
http://www.awarenessdates.com/2008/03/national-sleep-awareness-week.html

Doze anyone have a comment to make?

I wouldn't dream of it. It snore t my position to do so.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/03/2011 20:36:29

It snore t my position to do so.


Well, since Christmas is only 300 days away...

As you know, it is very important for Santa and his reindeer to be very quiet when they deliver presents on Christmas Eve so no one will know they are there.  One Christmas Eve Santa Claus landed on a rooftop and suddenly he heard a very loud, “Snort sniff honk honk snort!” coming from one of his reindeer.  Since he was in the sleigh behind them, he didn’t know which one it was.  It happened again, only louder this time.  “Snort sniff honk honk snort!”

Dogs in the neighborhood began to bark.  “Shhh!” Santa hissed.  “Please be quiet!”

He went to work lifting the sack of toys out of the sleigh when he heard it again, only a lot louder this time. “SNORT SNIFF HONK HONK SNORT!” Lights came on all over the neighborhood and some people even stuck their heads out of their windows.

Santa was horrified.  Jumping back into the sleigh, he drove quickly back to the North Pole.  He lined up all the reindeer and announced, “We are not going to deliver another present until the reindeer who is making funny noises with his nose steps forward and apologizes!”

None of the reindeer stepped forward.

Santa held up a piece of paper. “I know who it is and I have written your name on this paper. But I want to give you a chance to do the right thing on your own.”

Still none of the reindeer came forward.  So Santa did the only thing he could do.  He read off the rude-nosed reindeer…
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/03/2011 16:42:32
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Ffainting%2F1.gif&hash=9f679325d51a2a8410934e5499e6100e)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/03/2011 16:53:02
Coming up March 17: St. Patrick's Day

I'm green with envy, I'm not Irish.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/03/2011 16:54:18

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Ffainting%2F1.gif&hash=9f679325d51a2a8410934e5499e6100e)


 [;D] [;D] [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/03/2011 16:58:40
I'm green with envy,

Who is this person named Envy you seem to be sharing your chameleonistic ways with?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/03/2011 17:10:40
Envy and i are able to work that out.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/03/2011 17:31:37

Who is this person named Envy you seem to be sharing your chameleonistic ways with?


I don't actually know, he is so cleverly chameflaged, disguys really good at it. And besides, how much can I really tell since we only once shared a Chame Milo T[ea]?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 10/03/2011 18:57:24
Well since we are talking about tea for two, let's talk about the split personality of our March saint and how green became the color of the day.  Did Pat bring yellow and rick bring blue into the mix?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 10/03/2011 19:21:24
This is not a pun, it's a poem about the award-winning Karen

I see Karen W. and how she behaves
She's clever and witty in so many ways
And though I don't know her I sense she puts others first
Sharing water before quenching her thirst
Supportive, loving, and lending an ear
When those she loves have questions or fears
She smiles when she's happy, she smiles when she's sad
She smiles her way through both the good and the bad
And though you are modest, the human pillar you are
Touches those around you, the near and the far
And so, Lady Karen, you're that rare, special kind
So richly deserving your own turn to shine.
 [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/03/2011 06:33:25

Donnah, that was truly beautiful!  [:)]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/03/2011 06:54:53
Everyone, Easter is coming soon!

My favorite rapper is the Easter bunny, he's really in to hip hop.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 13/03/2011 20:43:27

Donnah, that was truly beautiful!  [:)]
Thanks demo.  Some people were nasty to me recently, so I responded with kindness, but not to the nasty pooheads, but to someone who deserves kindness.  Karen donates her time as moderator, and so I picked her this time.  I see it as a behaviour pun.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/03/2011 21:55:55
I know what you mean, Donnah, some people are often on their pest behavior.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/03/2011 02:57:42
Or is that behaviour?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/03/2011 05:42:46

Would anyone undertake searching the dead letter office for Geezer's mia post?


I thought stray male would be taken to the animal shelter instead?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 14/03/2011 17:20:44
Or is that behaviour?

The British spelling is behaviour, the American removes the U.  Being Canadian, I fluctuate between them.  Is that OK?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/03/2011 17:47:52
Sure it is Ok to vacillate. I learned that at university.

Or was it thru adversity?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 15/03/2011 14:42:27
Well there's more than one way to learn.  Formal education gives us student loans, life experience brings us frequent groans. 
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/03/2011 15:07:33
So THAT'S why they say he or she is now groan up.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/03/2011 16:15:16
March is National Optimistic Month!
http://www.awarenessdates.com/2010/03/national-optimistic-month.html

And don't forget, those who study the moon are optimists. They look at the bright side.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 16/03/2011 05:16:06
Does that make Pink Floyd pessimists?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/03/2011 18:16:00
Yes, Donnah, all the Band members' blood type is b-negative.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 16/03/2011 18:34:55
Bloody pessimists!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/03/2011 20:31:56
Don't let it upset you, Donnah, we can still feel good about the fact that our top math students' blood type is A+.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 17/03/2011 17:32:29
Does that mean most politicians and lawyers are O negative?  Or maybe there's a new blood type: AH negative.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/03/2011 23:59:50
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.solidprinciples.com%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F01%2FMan_Laughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=6f272afad25e361a8b8f1564088ea127)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/03/2011 00:03:50
When you get a transfusion in a Taiwanese hospital, do you receive Taipei blood???
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/03/2011 00:05:38

Does that mean most politicians and lawyers are O negative?


Was that a type-O ?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 18/03/2011 02:54:41
Why?  Are you calling me a liawyer?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/03/2011 04:15:18
A liawyer? Tell me the truth, Donnah, did you - or did you not - walk on your lawn this morning and experience the dew process?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 18/03/2011 04:55:22
Well, I was going to, but then I got cold feet.  Canada + March = snow.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/03/2011 16:48:26
You'll be just fine. For those who live in the land of ice it'snow problem.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 18/03/2011 23:39:15
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1101.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fg438%2Fdonnah2810%2FMasterPicturedownload361.jpg&hash=19b70a1ba6d2d892d96fd01c0a0b431a)
(Rae, the bear, should be sleeping.  Photo taken from our dining room window.)

It is if you run around in bear feet and eat like a bird.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/03/2011 00:19:51
Speaking of birds, ever wonder why birds with headaches just migraine south?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 19/03/2011 04:27:26
Because they are bird brained?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/03/2011 19:04:39

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.solidprinciples.com%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F01%2FMan_Laughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=6f272afad25e361a8b8f1564088ea127)

Let's savor that one for a moment!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/03/2011 19:58:03
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1101.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fg438%2Fdonnah2810%2FMasterPicturedownload361.jpg&hash=19b70a1ba6d2d892d96fd01c0a0b431a)
(Rae, the bear, should be sleeping.  Photo taken from our dining room window.)

It is if you run around in bear feet and eat like a bird.

Rae is soooooooo cute. Do you feed him/her??
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/03/2011 23:24:07
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dana.org%2FuploadedImages%2FBrainweek%2Flogo_homepage.png&hash=e6edb4fbadf329b6e4c3ade3572e8870)
Brain Awareness Week: March 20th is the last day!
http://www.dana.org/brainweek/


C'mon everyone, a pun about this should be a no-brainer!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 20/03/2011 00:03:30
Much as I would love to develop a relationship with Rae, I don't, because if she is unafraid to approach people someone could misinterpret her intentions and shoot her.  She obviously didn't eat enough to hibernate all winter, and she checks out the compost bin anyway, so anything I toss that she will eat, I set to one side so it doesn't get covered in coffee grounds.  And the bread that doesn't rise might get slathered with a layer of grease before I put it out because she needs the calories.  I don't want her to be dependant, but at this time of year there's little else she can get to eat.  Within the next month her natural food supply should be much more abundant.

Brain Awareness Week!  With an acronym like BAW, how can you go wrong?  If you added His Awareness and Her Awareness you'd have BAW HA HA!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/03/2011 04:01:10
As mostly a city boy all my life, your story from 'the wilderness' is soooooo amazing! I would ask my wife if we could adopt her, but she won't even tolerate cats and dogs (our Aby cat died at 17 - many years ago - and that was just too traumatic).

I like BAW HA HA, it's grown on me...

We're well into the last day of BAW HA HA, and I sense apathy...as well as indifference, and, also, a 'who cares' attitude....sigh...



Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/03/2011 04:17:48
OK, everyone, you have time to redeem yourself, because tomorrow starts:
World Salt Awareness Week! (London, UK-based)
http://www.worldactiononsalt.com/

To double your punning pleasure, the Week is sponsored by WASH (World Action on Salt and Health).

Worried about how your pun will go over?

Just take it with a grain of salt.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 20/03/2011 17:09:53
Fortunately my husband is an animal lover (we have a cat and a dog), and quite at home in the wilderness.  Once we get a barn built we will get chickens, er, maybe eggs first, er chickens...now which was it that came first anyway, the chicken or the egg? [???]

Salt Awareness Week.  I SAW that. [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/03/2011 00:26:18
Chicken or the egg!!!!  [;D]  You're curing my cold!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/03/2011 00:27:45
I know you SAW that, but don't forget the WASH!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 21/03/2011 16:57:54
Oh sure, just because I'm female, you talk aout the WASH like it's my responsibility, and then when I point out that women have brains (BAW HA HA), you tell me to take it with a grain of SALT. [;)]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/03/2011 19:21:28

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.solidprinciples.com%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F01%2FMan_Laughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=6f272afad25e361a8b8f1564088ea127)

Hilarious, Donnah!!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 22/03/2011 01:13:37
Can't help it, it's how my little brain works.  Maybe I've been brainWASHed and asSALTed by an evil brainiac. BAW HA HA.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/03/2011 01:26:47
Lazily re-posted from Page 1 of this thread:


                         (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi287.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fll149%2Fimflitterhead%2FAsaultwithweapon.jpg&hash=e781102e44f72ac2dae9da80f2eca3fb)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/03/2011 01:36:44

Can't help it, it's how my little brain works.  Maybe I've been brainWASHed and asSALTed by an evil brainiac. BAW HA HA.


I think this one deserves The Punning Thread Salt Award...not to be taken grainily!

Speech!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages1.wikia.nocookie.net%2F__cb20090615134237%2Fclubpenguin%2Fimages%2Fb%2Fb1%2FSalt_award.jpg&hash=d46050f6098665098e0b7191a4122eba)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 22/03/2011 04:23:10
Ooooooooo, thank you, thank you.  It's clear to me that this is a big shiny .....thing (a female technical term), even if it is a bit shakey.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/03/2011 05:18:21

Shakey, perhaps, but not dicey. Enjoy this Award, you are the Salt of the Earth!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/03/2011 05:30:27
And in just a little over a week, we can all raise our glasses, and share a toast to...

Alcohol Awareness Month!
http://www.healthfinder.gov/nho/aprtoolkit.aspx


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.teesforall.com%2Fimages%2FHumor_Toasted_White_Shirt.jpg&hash=832accdd064b8eec8dc9f64991c8a59f)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 22/03/2011 20:58:20
Ire illied own tunders tand thi splayonwards tuff!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 22/03/2011 21:12:06
Did you konw taht as lnog as you keep the frsit and lsat lteetr of the wrod in palce, it deson't mteatr waht you do wtih the lterets in beweetn?

I wouldn't try it with antidisestablishmentarianism though.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 22/03/2011 21:25:02
Or is that behaviour?

The British spelling is behaviour, the American removes the U.  Being Canadian, I fluctuate between them.  Is that OK?

As a fellow Canadian, I say we can fluctuate ALL we want!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 22/03/2011 21:28:53
Sure it is Ok to vacillate. I learned that at university.

Or was it thru adversity?

Well it's probably University, but then adversity could... teach you, but I don't know I DO like the university theory, I guess I learned the lesson well, from adversity... or was it university.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/03/2011 21:49:22
Daveman! Welcome to punning! Be extra-nice to Donnah, though, I can barely restrain her from unleashing The Power Of Rae <shudder> if you pun too badly!

Uh-oh, now I'm outnumbered! 2 Canadians: 1 Californian!!


Ire illied own tunders tand thi splayonwards tuff!


     [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 22/03/2011 22:08:07
Daveman! Welcome to punning! Be extra-nice to Donnah, though, I can barely restrain her from unleashing The Power Of Rae <shudder> if you pun too badly!

She's liable to smack you with a leash if she catches you restraining her barely.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/03/2011 22:13:23
OK, then...restraining her...clothely!

(thorry for the lithp)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 22/03/2011 23:02:03
But don't get too clothes!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 23/03/2011 02:16:25
With lines like that you might get hung out to dry. Especially after WASH week.

Hey, Canadian daveman, if we smoosh (another female technical term) your nationality and your name into one word it would be Caveman.  What are you doing in Chile, spelunking?  And is it warm in Chile?

I wonder what the demografx are for his website?  How many Geezers, old_bobs, JimBobs, Bored chemists, and Don-1abies?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/03/2011 03:43:03

Hey, Canadian daveman, if we smoosh (another female technical term) your nationality and your name into one word it would be Caveman.  What are you doing in Chile, spelunking?  And is it warm in Chile?


I got an A+ in Spelunking (and Granmar!), but in my college daze I done even bretter, masturing awl kindsa sdubjects!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/03/2011 06:09:59

With lines like that you might get hung out to dry. Especially after WASH week.


NOW I understand what they mean about the wash and dry cycle.

And without a spin put on it!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 23/03/2011 12:30:54
Donnah, I hope you saw my message!

Then it would look like this:

Donnah I hope .y.,
                   ,.o.u saw my message
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 23/03/2011 14:02:55
As for AAM, in Canada we say "I AAM CANADIAN" eh.  At least in the beer ads we do. Which brings me to another point.  In beer ads why do they show so many boobs?  They're selling beer, not milk.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 23/03/2011 14:32:10
I guess it makes us thirsty eh!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/03/2011 15:19:36
The name of the link says it all. Watch if you dare!

http://wn.com/Women_Crushes_Beer_Cans_With_Boob
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 23/03/2011 16:26:31
The name of the link says it all. Watch if you dare!

http://wn.com/Women_Crushes_Beer_Cans_With_Boob


No, no, I didn't go there, not at all.... but somehow I'm not thirsty anymore!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/03/2011 16:34:21
 [;D] [;D] [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 23/03/2011 18:34:49
Why is it that the feet smell and the nose runs?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 23/03/2011 18:41:59
It said today in the newspaper that the two guys caught drinking battery acid will soon be charged!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 23/03/2011 18:45:03
When my wife complained that the coffee tasted like mud I had to tell her

"Well what do you expect! It was ground just a few minutes ago!"
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 23/03/2011 18:50:52
What can be done with these words?

Vial, glasses, ash, cloak?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 23/03/2011 19:19:24
Let's seee..

Please don't put the cloak bottles in the ash can, when the glasses wet it makes a vial smell!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/03/2011 19:56:43

It said today in the newspaper that the two guys caught drinking battery acid will soon be charged!


I demand partial attribution, Dave!


The electrician was suspected of wiretapping once but was never charged.

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/03/2011 20:02:13

As for AAM, in Canada we say "I AAM CANADIAN" eh.  At least in the beer ads we do. Which brings me to another point.  In beer ads why do they show so many boobs?  They're selling beer, not milk.


Rabbits like their beer brewed with a lot of hops.

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 23/03/2011 20:04:24

It said today in the newspaper that the two guys caught drinking battery acid will soon be charged!


I demand partial attribution, Dave!


The electrician was suspected of wiretapping once but was never charged.



So the current laws don't apply to electrical spies?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 23/03/2011 20:06:43

As for AAM, in Canada we say "I AAM CANADIAN" eh.  At least in the beer ads we do. Which brings me to another point.  In beer ads why do they show so many boobs?  They're selling beer, not milk.


Rabbits like their beer brewed with a lot of hops.



So they can crush cans without being boobs!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 24/03/2011 04:26:58
Yikes, makes my back ache just to look at that woman's boobs.  She couldn't ride, she'd beat the poor horse to death.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 24/03/2011 13:00:52
Big breasted woman beats horse to death

"He wouldn't let me ride him", she says!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 24/03/2011 17:38:51
Another headline mght read:

Lone woman rides two abreast!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/03/2011 23:35:50

Yikes, makes my back ache just to look at that woman's boobs.  She couldn't ride, she'd beat the poor horse to death.


Neigh! I have no more equestrian to give, Donnah!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/03/2011 02:09:30
It's Harry Houdini's birthday, there's no escaping it!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 25/03/2011 04:08:46
Well I don't want to get roped into it.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/03/2011 04:55:02
Why not? You could teach me all about the rodeo!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 25/03/2011 12:40:59
Don't tell me Donnah's from Calgary (biggest stampede in the world!)... my home town!

Hey, imagine our poor chesty on a brahama!!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 25/03/2011 19:26:27
Did not click on the video, but have memories of a stripper called "Fat Annie" who used to work at a club called Airport. I did see her knock out a guy using only what nature gave her, and not her hands or feet. She took him off the stage with one blow, and he landed on the floor dazed for a few minutes. Those were a set of lethal weapons there, under a vest for sure until she started.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/03/2011 20:16:03
I bet she was a knockout! And the guy seems like a real boob for starting in with her. There. Whew. Glad I got that off my chest...it's always breast to be cautious when you don't know someone, some people want revenge, they're not satisfied with just tit for tat.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 26/03/2011 07:36:21
Don't tell me Donnah's from Calgary (biggest stampede in the world!)... my home town!

Hey, imagine our poor chesty on a brahama!!

Yep, I'm from Calgary (though I don't live there anymore) and I used to work as a cowgirl.  So the Stampede City is your hometown too.  Hmmmmm, you actually sound like a friend of mine, your language patterns are similar.  Do you work in IT and does your wife's name start with E?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 26/03/2011 16:52:08
Nope, not me.... but he must be a pretty cool guy! Living up there in the North that is!

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/03/2011 23:20:44

Don't tell me Donnah's from Calgary (biggest stampede in the world!)... my home town!


Yep, I'm from Calgary (though I don't live there anymore) and I used to work as a cowgirl.  So the Stampede City is your hometown too.


Calgary? Isn't that where someone was crucified for all of our stampeding? And whoa to transgressors! Today, it's certainly Eternal Calgary Flames for those who don't repent for stop their stampeding ways!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/03/2011 03:51:39

So the current laws don't apply to electrical spies?


I think Dave deserves to get a charge out of this Punning Award for that line.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flogos-vector.com%2Ftumbs%2F5%2F8%2F2%2F58233.png&hash=406f5a2b93dafa7505d6a6c43f2deee1)

(someone at Gold Medallion should brush up on their Elecrtric spelunking though)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/03/2011 07:15:14

...have memories of a stripper called "Fat Annie" who used to work at a club called Airport.


Hm. Firsthand knowledge or hearsay? [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 27/03/2011 07:36:54
Presumably Annie walloped the guy with underarm mass?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 27/03/2011 18:29:56
Let us just say that it was not me, but I was a witness, and the guy in question we will just call by his initial of "D". We went there as a part ( unofficial) of a tour of the facilities of a certain airline's maintenance operations, and had a few hours of spare time between the end of the tour and the official end of the lecture day, so the teachers went there for some entertainment, and took us along as a not totally unwilling group. Was in the good old days when the air was clean, shows like that were frowned on by the clergy ( and attended by a lot of them to get ideas or something else) and you could gain easy access to a lot of places as a plain member of the public.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 27/03/2011 22:47:56
Man caught in crossfire as dancer clears her chest after frowning clergy interrupts important maintanence tour.

Mr. D. in critical but stable condition as hearing is regained in left ear.

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/03/2011 03:40:03

Presumably Annie walloped the guy with underarm mass?


Hm. The plot thickens.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 28/03/2011 15:01:39

Presumably Annie walloped the guy with underarm mass?


Hm. The plot thickens.

Is that an adumbration to another part of the body?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/03/2011 16:38:16
Underarm mass.

Adumbration? You mean some people aren't smart enough to read this???

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F_lc8e1y0d-yo%2FTFhgJqjHWRI%2FAAAAAAAAAug%2FFGnW6yZCUPY%2Fs1600%2FRation_tin.jpg&hash=6903fcea14f01afba3b8539ba0d89b19)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 29/03/2011 14:36:22
Not without my glasses.

Adumbration: (n) áddem-bráysh´n - reduction of intelligence as a result of poor vision.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/03/2011 19:49:07
A dumb ration: a ration meant for less-than-smart-ones.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/03/2011 19:25:17
This week is
National Tsunami Awareness Week
www.tsunami.gov

While this is a terribly sad time in Japan because of the tsunami, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but maybe humor can also help? I know, I know, puns are humor?...........

I now anticipate a huge wave of reaction to my post...

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/03/2011 23:15:05
What? Not even a watered-down reply yet???
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 31/03/2011 00:34:34
The tide washes way out first. This must be a biggy because it's really washed out!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/03/2011 00:53:40
I'm hoping that your punchline will bring good tidings!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 31/03/2011 20:23:35
Now this is a punchline!



 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/04/2011 03:31:33

I like hardhitting punchlines!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/04/2011 21:36:24
April 1st came and went. Now I feel Foolish.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 05/04/2011 22:14:40
April 1st came and went. Now I feel Foolish.

Why did she promise something, collect the money and run?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/04/2011 22:45:34
You just can't trust those Springtime romances!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 07/04/2011 22:18:38
Romance in the springtime, now close to six months away, with the cold of winter between now and then. The cold nights, having to use a single sheet to keep warm, having a warm shower instead of cold, icecream not melting in the cone before you can eat it...........
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/04/2011 07:43:49

Romance in the springtime, now close to six months away, with the cold of winter between now and then. The cold nights, having to use a single sheet to keep warm, having a warm shower instead of cold, icecream not melting in the cone before you can eat it...........


Mm, I love melted ice cream in my coffee.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 08/04/2011 20:42:02
I love fresh cream coffee, milk straight from the cow, add coffee and then microwave until just boiling. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/04/2011 14:55:23
Drinking too much coffee can cause a latte problems.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 10/04/2011 21:35:35
But lack of the magical brew causes me to turn into something that bears a strong resemblance to an ogre.............
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/04/2011 21:50:01

But lack of the magical brew causes me to turn into something that bears a strong resemblance to an ogre.............


Yes I get affected the beary same way!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 11/04/2011 23:56:41

But lack of the magical brew causes me to turn into something that bears a strong resemblance to an ogre.............


Yes I get affected the beary same way!


Speaking of bears, how about some coffee and Donnah!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/04/2011 04:20:59
I heard from the mysterious Donnah today, she can't bear to break away from the road, and is power-less with her computer.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: BioWizard on 13/04/2011 06:43:56
 [;D] [;D] [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/04/2011 21:15:27

 [;D] [;D] [;D]


Nice teeth, BioWizard! And welcome to our nuthouse!

A toothless termite walked into a tavern and said, "Is the bar tender here?"
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 14/04/2011 19:31:53
I'm having tea with friends who are well connected.  What kind of tea?  Why nut tea of course.  I just couldn't bear not being around my punny friends.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/04/2011 07:21:17

I'm having tea with friends who are well connected.  What kind of tea?  Why nut tea of course.  I just couldn't bear not being around my punny friends.


Why is tea so therapeutic? Because boiling the water raises your self of steam.

We missed you, Donnah. Welcome back!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: BioWizard on 17/04/2011 22:27:18

 [;D] [;D] [;D]


Nice teeth, BioWizard! And welcome to our nuthouse!

A toothless termite walked into a tavern and said, "Is the bar tender here?"


LOL! I know, this thread is like a nutsie thread!  [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 18/04/2011 13:02:59
I thought nutsies wore swastikas!?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 20/04/2011 21:49:12
I haven't had Swasteakas for a long time.  Take a cheap cut steak and marinate for a day, then cook in the slow cooker.  Voila, Swiss steakas.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 22/04/2011 20:03:03
Slow cooker, where you throw it under the armpit. No need for salt!

Iiieeewww!

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/04/2011 20:07:34

I thought nutsies wore swastikas!?


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.solidprinciples.com%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F01%2FMan_Laughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=6f272afad25e361a8b8f1564088ea127)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 22/04/2011 20:09:33
Was thinking of a cajun blackened pepper steak! A large sirloin, 1" thick, covered with a 1/8" layer of medium ground pepper (blown to remove the fine powder), fried to medium rare. Served with bacon bits stuffed potatoe skins topped with parmasan cheese! Oh, but where's the pun.... but who cares?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/04/2011 20:20:23
Dave, don't worry that was not a misteak!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/04/2011 02:58:38

I haven't had Swasteakas for a long time.  Take a cheap cut steak and marinate for a day, then cook in the slow cooker.  Voila, Swiss steakas.


You mean marinut?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 23/04/2011 05:46:20
No Demo!! He means "Marry Nate" for a day, then cook him in the slow cooker! Talk about Spiders killing there mates!!! At least he will feast After he marries Nate!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/04/2011 16:16:12
 BTW, Karen, that was "she" not "he"... [:)]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 23/04/2011 18:41:48
BTW, Karen, that was "she" not "he"... [:)]

Whoops You are correct my apologies to Donnah..... Yes indeed I thought it was Daveman's post...LOL even bigger mystic, I mean mistake!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/04/2011 19:13:08
Mystic, lol!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/04/2011 19:15:19
That's daveman, all right, our Very Own Mystic Of The Punning Thread. He reads palms, foretells the future and more!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/04/2011 15:23:58
This is
Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness Month
www.aboutibs.org/site/about-ibs/april-ibs-awareness-month

I'm sure no one will dare make a pun about this!


Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 25/04/2011 19:50:21
I know somebody with that...... She has to be careful what she eats, or else it requires a large truck, with a reefer unit on it, just to keep the toilet paper ( double ply or triple) cool. That and a quick fill cistern.

You could say that at times she is glued to the throne, or hovers above it a little.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/04/2011 20:17:09
A reefer unit? I just learned something new!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/04/2011 02:24:50

This is
Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness Month
www.aboutibs.org/site/about-ibs/april-ibs-awareness-month

I'm sure no one will dare make a pun about this!


Well, just don't get sick at the airport. It could be a terminal illness.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 26/04/2011 16:52:53
Reefer, a refrigerated trailer, not what the dim memories of your long past youth are thinking Demo...................

Though I will admit that having a moment at the airport can be a long wait, if not a long drop.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/04/2011 00:06:37

...not what the dim memories of your long past youth are thinking Demo...


No need for jealousy, Sean, one day you may attain Wisdom as well.  [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 27/04/2011 11:10:34
Wisdom, coming from experience, coming from making bad choices, which leads to grey hair, or no hair, or something like that.

Got the grey, but not Narcissus yet.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 28/04/2011 22:03:03
Who's the bald narcissist with a reefer?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 29/04/2011 20:17:15
This is
Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness Month
www.aboutibs.org/site/about-ibs/april-ibs-awareness-month

I'm sure no one will dare make a pun about this!


I see much Do-Do about nothing in the future, so don´t get your colin in a knot!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/04/2011 21:14:00

Who's the bald narcissist with a reefer?


He gave it up for Lent 18 yrs ago.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/04/2011 21:16:39
This is
Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness Month
www.aboutibs.org/site/about-ibs/april-ibs-awareness-month

I'm sure no one will dare make a pun about this!


I see much Do-Do about nothing in the future, so don´t get your colin in a knot!


That's Powell, not bowel!!  [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 30/04/2011 00:10:32
This is
Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness Month
www.aboutibs.org/site/about-ibs/april-ibs-awareness-month

I'm sure no one will dare make a pun about this!


I see much Do-Do about nothing in the future, so don´t get your colin in a knot!


That's Powell, not bowel!!  [;D]

NO, it's knot with Baden Powell.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 30/04/2011 00:14:39
Reefer, a refrigerated trailer, not what the dim memories of your long past youth are thinking Demo...................

Though I will admit that having a moment at the airport can be a long wait, if not a long drop.

Well, that's where a good reefer comes in handy.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 30/04/2011 00:15:56
Who's the bald narcissist with a reefer?

The one on the john at the airport!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/04/2011 21:41:26
National Children’s Mental Health Awareness Week
Starts tomorrow - May 1!
http://www.ffcmh.org/events/national-childrens-mental-health-awareness-week/

I wonder if this was set up and specifically intended for the members of this Punning thread?......
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/04/2011 21:48:48
This is
Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness Month
www.aboutibs.org/site/about-ibs/april-ibs-awareness-month

I'm sure no one will dare make a pun about this!


I see much Do-Do about nothing in the future, so don´t get your colin in a knot!


That's Powell, not bowel!!  [;D]


NO, it's knot with Baden Powell.


Oh, you're just scouting around for a clever comeback.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 30/04/2011 23:41:21
National Children’s Mental Health Awareness Week
Starts tomorrow - May 1!
http://www.ffcmh.org/events/national-childrens-mental-health-awareness-week/

I wonder if this was set up and specifically intended for the members of this Punning thread?......

And what if my bowel is still in a knot?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/05/2011 04:26:59
I bet it's knot.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 01/05/2011 12:52:40
If your stomach is in a knot, yet you know it is not totally knotted, then it is not unlikely that you are head over heels in love, is it not?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 01/05/2011 16:15:33
If your stomach is in a knot, yet you know it is not totally knotted, then it is not unlikely that you are head over heels in love, is it not?

Now that's just naughty!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 01/05/2011 19:37:11
It is, is it not?

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/05/2011 21:53:17
Knot so.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 02/05/2011 13:37:32
I'm afrayed knot, but at least I'm not afraid Dave.

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 02/05/2011 23:06:20
I'm afrayed knot, but at least I'm not afraid Dave.



However you wouldn't be as strong as before then!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/05/2011 05:36:22

I'm afrayed knot, but at least I'm not afraid Dave.


Sean deserves a Punning  Award for this! His prize - next time he is in Nashville -  is a 1%-off discount on any brand of Club Soda served - at the bar only- at the World  Famous Establishment below! Offer expires May 3, 2011, so no rush!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.eventective.com%2Fphoto%2F548323.jpg&hash=a422e735d7cf823d442444212f025d03)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/05/2011 04:27:23
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffunandfit.org%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F11%2Fmayonnaise.jpg&hash=c9f43a0931441813dcce11ecccfaa8e7)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffunandfit.org%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F11%2Fmayonnaise.jpg&hash=c9f43a0931441813dcce11ecccfaa8e7)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffunandfit.org%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F11%2Fmayonnaise.jpg&hash=c9f43a0931441813dcce11ecccfaa8e7)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffunandfit.org%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F11%2Fmayonnaise.jpg&hash=c9f43a0931441813dcce11ecccfaa8e7)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffunandfit.org%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F11%2Fmayonnaise.jpg&hash=c9f43a0931441813dcce11ecccfaa8e7)



Is this what they mean by Cinco de Mayo????

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 06/05/2011 19:59:10
You call that processed oil emulsion Mayo? Not an egg in sight, and nothing in it that is not GM.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/05/2011 20:12:34
General Motors????
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 07/05/2011 14:41:45
No, not Government Motors, but that funny stuff served up be a certain corporation that likes to sue farmers where the patented pollen blows on the wind.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/05/2011 02:06:33
National Doughnut Week - UK
May 7th through May 14th
http://www.nationaldoughnutweek.org/

I can't find any holes in the argument for supporting this worthy cause!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/05/2011 02:08:26
Donut be discouraged if you haven't much to give, every little cruller counts!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 14/05/2011 16:12:43
This should be a jam filled weekend for you then!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/05/2011 02:06:24
I wish I could turn the clock back and jam with Jelly Roll Morton.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 15/05/2011 21:48:32
If you like Red Hot Peppers with you donuts I'll have to give you a Black Bottom Stomp....

And the Red Hot Chili Peppers thought they were original!!


Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 18/05/2011 05:57:51
No, not Government Motors, but that funny stuff served up be a certain corporation that likes to sue farmers where the patented pollen blows on the wind.

Do you mean that MonSatano company?  Fits that they would have Red Hot Chili Peppers too.  Nobody's cruller than them.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/05/2011 06:39:42
 [;D] Donnah  [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 02/06/2011 03:05:05
Do inmates talk on cell phones?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/06/2011 06:20:03
Yes they do Donnah, but if the inmates are all taken to a supervised beach outing they are not permitted to use call wading.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 05/06/2011 21:00:10
Sometimes life's a bit of a beach.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/06/2011 20:07:04
So you want me to go to the beach with you? I'm not shore I can make it.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 13/06/2011 23:46:42
Then just wave. [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/06/2011 01:20:09

Yes, I instinctively wave at people, Donnah, and it's a natural hi.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/06/2011 09:19:51
Now water you lot nattering about? I really can't sea, is it some current trend?

You shouldn't go in the sea, its filthy because the sea weed. (Hehehe, the old ones are the oldest!)

Last time I was by the sea, 'er indoors told me to prepare myself for my picture to be taken, to which I retorted, 'Pose? I? Don?'

I used to like Aker Bilk's 'Stranger on the Shore' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cEr4CCtllA). Nonchalantly walks off whistliN' ep tune.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: imatfaal on 14/06/2011 11:44:45
I sea the pun-meister has returned!!!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/06/2011 20:36:26
Oh, Don, I'm really not sure the water in your area is healthy? Yes, we only have well water.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 15/06/2011 00:30:45
well water you make of these five words?
faint, bacon, lava, bra, feat
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/06/2011 01:47:32
I faint if my bacon is not burnt to a crisp, hot as lava.

A dyslexic man walked into a bra...THAT was a feat!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/06/2011 10:06:16
well water you make of these five words?
faint, bacon, lava, bra, feat

Fred was in dire straights, defeat stared him in de face, so did de toes and de ankles. Meanwhile, bacon the farm, I was having more luck. “Bravo”, the crowd shouted, as I wrestled Lara Croft’s mammary support garment to the ground. Fay Dunaway rushed to my assistance and the crowd gasped “Fay aint gonna help him, is she?” We were in hysterics, lava? I almost cried.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/06/2011 08:42:21
Is that it? Are we all out of puns? Could this be the end of the 'pun' as we know it?

Dare I say 'pun' full stop, period, en punto?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/06/2011 23:24:57

Oh, Don!

Don't make such a theatrical performance about puns.

Just because they are a play on words!

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/06/2011 10:39:35
Curses, upstaged again!!!

However, you were a little slow in your response. Kindly be more prompt in the future.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/06/2011 07:44:07

Curses, upstaged again!!!

However, you were a little slow in your response. Kindly be more prompt in the future.



Prompt? You do mean prop, don't you, as in stage prop?

Hmm. For some reason, this all somehow reminds me of the shy stripper who couldn't bare it on stage.




Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/06/2011 17:23:29

Prompt? You do mean prop, don't you, as in stage prop?


Put simply (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InTAt2hI_kg&feature=related)

I was going back to the old days before idiot boards (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/idiot_board)

Hmm. For some reason, this all somehow reminds me of the shy stripper who couldn't bare it on stage.

I engaged her for the show, they told me she was a Pole Dancer, turned out she was a ballerina from Poland!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/06/2011 18:13:42

From Poland? So am I.

And ballerinas are really kept on their toes, so I don't see the problem!


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpoleart.org%2FImages%2FHeaderDancer.gif&hash=485ca3db3ef1cf93f8ea8df96dcb4e62)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/06/2011 20:14:31

Prompt? You do mean prop, don't you, as in stage prop?


Put simply (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InTAt2hI_kg&feature=related)


 [;D] [;D] [;D]


Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/06/2011 14:55:57
So you like ballet also also(too too)!

I am not overly keen on the Nutcracker. But to get back to the ballet.....
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/06/2011 14:57:05

From Poland? So am I.

And ballerinas are really kept on their toes, so I don't see the problem!


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpoleart.org%2FImages%2FHeaderDancer.gif&hash=485ca3db3ef1cf93f8ea8df96dcb4e62)

I see she is in pole position.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/06/2011 05:18:54

Oh, Don, Don, Don,

That was a pole pun.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/06/2011 05:23:24

So you like ballet also also(too too)!

I am not overly keen on the Nutcracker. But to get back to the ballet.....



I can't. I have a high glycemic index, and my doctor told me to cut back on the Suites.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/06/2011 04:48:50
National Columnists Day: Today, June 28
http://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/columnists-day/

Newspapers are a huge part of our society and daily life; Columnists Day celebrates the work of the people who research, write and produce our newspapers.

I hope Don or someone reports how the day went or at least keeps a journal of what went on.

But I'm sure Don has more pressing needs to attend to.

No need to edit this post, it was spell-checked and proofed.

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/06/2011 13:50:35
There will be prizes for the top 4 columnists. No prizes for any fifth column.

During the day there will be an organised 'Spot the Origami Rodent' game which has been aptly entitled 'Paper Rat See'. Winners will get a giant scoop of Peanuts in a bag.

There will also be a chance to take a swipe at any politician or celebrity in a game called The 'ed 'itter. All guests will be expected to maintain good circulation.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/06/2011 16:59:05
We talked about this post directly above,  Don, but frankly, I'm shocked that you would publish it!

Well my younger son just graduated college, so I'm glad he didn't get any 'ink' (inkompletes ) on any of his courses .

He had way too many papers to write!

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/06/2011 03:57:10


So you like ballet also also (too too)!(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpose7fashion.files.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F01%2F17mila_5.jpg&hash=7263e5fa8af0cc1a796cc3563a14eb53)
                                                                                     mod edit




Oh, tut, Tut, King Don, we all know you just want an excuse to play golf on election day and cast an absent-tee ballot.

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/06/2011 12:08:26
You may tut most of all, but as pharaohs I'm concerned, it was a valid reason. I don't want to ram esees down your throat, but I nefer tiree of a quick round, aN ile always take the opportunity agmemnon and agmemnon. I's is just that way inclined and am set in my ways. So far as I see it, it's them hor us and they tend to takelot for granted.

Ku fuh or anyone else ptolemy where I can fit Cleopatra into this? I would be hapy to learn hat or anything else.

Ooo look, 'er indoors has made coffee, she's a bit of a nut you know, but I thank her anyway. "Ptah very much, now shu." I wish she would become a nun.

Now I must take my leave of you becosiris going to get my head around anubisness I thoth I would start, or I'll nefer get it off the ground. Oh, and before you ask, no, its not a pyramid scam.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/06/2011 12:35:46
I've just sold one of my paintings. "HorRah", the buyer shouted, "that's the bast I've ever seen."
They have now asked me if ah kan arten their drab walls.


I knew my punability wouldn't desert me.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/06/2011 21:52:38
Personally, Don, I think you're in de Nile.

It's only yourself who is getting e-gypped (on the Internet)

You know, hiS AND "her" towels don't fit here, but the S AND does!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 01/07/2011 06:53:24
Cleo patranized the woman in the science forum when she said "Cam el of you to my comedy show and learn how it's done because your humor sphinx: all exscept 'ers."
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/07/2011 20:42:49

Yes, Donnah, Cleo's patronizing reminds me of the time soon after Sir Lancelot moved to Egypt, when he opened his very successful Used Camel Lot!


Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/07/2011 20:43:35

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthemediablog.typepad.com%2F.a%2F6a011570c131b2970c014e5f2db9e7970c-pi&hash=95b3935f013e9a21fee0d72f739b687e)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/07/2011 07:37:09
Cinco de Mayo is celebrated on May 5.

So was yesterday Cinco de Julio?

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/07/2011 07:48:05




Oh, tut, Tut, King Don...


You may tut most of all...


At least we have Tut in khommon.


Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/07/2011 11:11:30




Oh, tut, Tut, King Don...


You may tut most of all...


At least we have Tut in khommon.




I like that one from you tomb me.

I am quite surprised that Geezer (GIZA) hasn't had his two sheckles worth here yet. Me sphynx he must be all out of puns.

When Egypt built the dam across the Nile, they came up with the name for it when an onlooker said, "Cor! Aswan 'ell of a dam".

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/07/2011 00:37:04
Is this another Egyptian Riddle from Don? If I can't figure it out, it ruins my day!

So to feel better, I watch reruns of Dynasty on TV.

Or visit the Empire State Building in NYC.

But I don't have the Luxory of just wandering aimlessly in the desert year after year...


Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Airthumbs on 07/07/2011 01:15:20
I don't know all these Yangt zey think it's all about the Egytptians! One might think, Qin Hi Huang for saying that, Zhou bet!

Im perialously close to someone trying to sui me!  People might, i bet, take this to heart. In a way I undertangd  [:D]

Hand on heart were I not joking I WuHud feel the same....  [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/07/2011 04:17:05

You must know my friend Won Hung Lo, he's a little embarrassed about his physique...
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/07/2011 05:46:22

Oh, tut, Tut, King Don...


You may tut most of all...


At least we have Tut in khommon.


I like that one from you tomb me.


 [;D] [;D] [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/07/2011 09:45:40
When I went to our local Chinese restaurant, I said I would have soup for a starter.
"Won Ton?" Asked the waiter. I retorted, "A small bowl will be quite sufficient."
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Airthumbs on 08/07/2011 01:12:16
At least you didn't ask for a superbowl!  [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/07/2011 04:56:09

When I went to our local Chinese restaurant, I said I would have soup for a starter.
"Won Ton?" Asked the waiter. I retorted, "A small bowl will be quite sufficient."



I once took alphabet won ton (small bowl was insufficient) soup with me on vacation.

I packed it in my upper case.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 11/07/2011 13:20:47
Well, that's just the type of person you are. Were you all keyed up when you eat it?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/07/2011 22:41:46

Yes. Yes I was, because I like it sooooo much: yes, I'm very font of alphabet soup.

But I'm a good type. Like Gutenberg. He was a good type, even when pressed.

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 12/07/2011 09:46:02

..... Gutenberg. He was a good type, even when pressed.



I heard, on the grape vine, he wouldn't stop whining.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 13/07/2011 02:35:42
Hey, the Grape Vine, isn't that where Tarzan works?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/07/2011 16:49:49
Tarzan? Yes he worked there, not exactly a barrel of laughs though, was he, and a right plonka to boot.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/07/2011 18:36:13

The first time I tasted wine I  had a blanc stare on my face.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/07/2011 18:48:52
National Ventriloquism Week - starts today!
http://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/ventriloquism-week/

Don't be a dummy and throw your voice away!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Airthumbs on 14/07/2011 06:30:26
I tried to throw my voice away once, thankfully it just slipped through my fingers!  [B)]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/07/2011 09:21:28
National Ventriloquism Week - starts today!
http://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/ventriloquism-week/

A reporter from the Daily Blurb said "I haven't a clue who's saying what!"

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/07/2011 09:24:02
Too much wine can make your Jacobs Creek.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/07/2011 16:01:52

You can't hold your liquor. Wine not?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/07/2011 16:05:21

If you're always complaining about something, shouldn't you have some cheese with your whine?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 15/07/2011 05:17:06
Isn't punning a whine and cheese party?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/07/2011 15:30:47

Wow, Donnah, now we can all see very clearly that nothing cheesy gets pasteurize!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 15/07/2011 21:52:58
I can see clearly now, the rain is gone.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/07/2011 05:12:44

♪♪ I can see clearly now, the rain is gone.


♪♪  I can see all obstacles in my way.....

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/07/2011 23:10:17


...and then my knee-jerk reaction kicks in for solutions...

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Cataloochee on 17/07/2011 23:17:05
demografx; True or False and Why? when you  are bored your internal clock speeds up and time seems to slow down but when you are excited, your internal clock slows down and time fly by. I read your material. Cataloochee
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/07/2011 18:52:42
Today is

National Get Out of the Doghouse Day!
http://history.holidays.net/index.php?title=National_Get_Out_of_the_Doghouse_Day


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fphoto-4.jpg&hash=9fe308c357078c636d9d08882a8f32a4)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/07/2011 11:16:21
Ken all of us do that?

 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/07/2011 06:05:10

Yes. If we have a ken to!

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: grizelda on 20/07/2011 10:34:08
My fortune cookie didn't have a fortune in it, just the name of the quality control person, Yoo Soon Digh.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/07/2011 03:00:30

My fortune cookie didn't have a fortune in it, just the name of the quality control person, Yoo Soon Digh.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F_69j7nVK5I7c%2FS_xC3lKr-5I%2FAAAAAAAAAXs%2FzwnjucAA9wg%2Fs320%2Ffortune%2Bcookies.jpg&hash=ad4b6fb4831365ae437f4ca5dc0cb934)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/07/2011 17:24:07
Elizabethan Serenade (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbLNigDZai8)
Atlantis (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VycZVyApqew)
Stranger on the Shore (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUXmj3Fl7x0)
Jessica (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Swm-j58w94)

Don't mind me, I'm just practising telling fortunes.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/07/2011 17:48:03
one (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_4_fF-pIK0)
two (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTUauZaupyI&feature=related)
three (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ye8mB6VsUHw)
four (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzq9BQcLnF4)

Ah! Now those fortunes take the biscuit.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/07/2011 19:53:32


Unfortunately, Don, my glycemic index went through the roof just lusting over LOOKING at those vids!

ps - were YOU one of The Shadows???


Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/07/2011 08:31:07

ps - were YOU one of The Shadows???


Strange you should ask, I have been accused of lurking around in them!!!(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fmisbehaving%2F10.gif&hash=92e44ddc63ec412169ae55fa92f841b6)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/07/2011 14:15:54

ps - were YOU one of The Shadows???


Strange you should ask, I have been accused of lurking around in them!!!(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fmisbehaving%2F10.gif&hash=92e44ddc63ec412169ae55fa92f841b6)


Similarly, when I stepped out into the dusk with my wife edit - and two kids,  I had a sudden four-shadowing.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/07/2011 14:21:59
Today is

Pi Day
a/k/a
Pi Approximation Day
http://www.surfnetkids.com/pi_day.htm

So feel free to throw a pie in Don's (or my) face!  [:D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/07/2011 14:53:59
Me an d the wife were going to jet off because we were being harrised into covering the debt of a welcher. A bank was hankering after our money. In our hurry to get away, I bumped into a Frenchman, sending his wine off in all directions. “Mar vin” he cried as he rubbed his scratched and bruced shoulder and noticed his clothing was dripping in the spilt wine from shoulder to knee. I said “You’d still be dri if ter bottles hadn’t broken.”


For the benefit of anyone sad enough to be wondering what I on about here, get a life!
The Shadows (originally The Drifters) original line-up:-
Hank Marvin – Lead guitar
Bruce Welch – Rhythm guitar
Jet Harris – Bass guitar
Tony Meehan – Drums
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/07/2011 15:16:26
Today is

Pi Day


So feel free to throw a pie in Don's (or my) face!  [:D]

WHOOPIE Toss your comestibles down my cake-hole
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/07/2011 15:50:19

The Drifters??? Why didn't you SAY that?

I simply didn't get your drift!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/07/2011 16:56:32
I simply didn't get your drift!

Strange, of all people, I thought you wood!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/07/2011 19:26:59


Oh I wood have drifted there eventually!

Just like a drifter cat that wood never give up, I wood have hardily purred severe!


Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/07/2011 20:08:02
And tomorrow, Saturday, July 23, 2011 is:

Hot Enough For Ya Day



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fphoto-5.jpg&hash=22cffa7a3398504da010ae363c36a3c2)



Its hot! Its sticky! And its still hot! Its so hot you can even fry an egg on the street!

So when you’re out and about tomorrow – what do you think we’ll be saying when greeting someone? Go ahead. You know you want to say it!

Is it Hot enough for ya? (OY!)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/07/2011 22:13:58

It was so hot the other day that even the mosquitoes were dropping like flies.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: grizelda on 23/07/2011 10:16:27
You guys are all invited to our new reality show to find the world's ugliest person. If you're all voted off, at least we'll know we left no crone unspurned.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/07/2011 17:21:25
Grizelda was asked by la Sûreté to formerly identify the body of whom they believed to be Quasimodo. When she looked at the body she said, "Well, I'm not to sure, but the face rings a bell."
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/07/2011 22:03:24

You guys are all invited to our new reality show to find the world's ugliest person. If you're all voted off, at least we'll know we left no crone unspurned.


You hag no idea witch way that was so offensive!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/07/2011 22:05:03

Grizelda was asked by la Sûreté to formerly identify the body of whom they believed to be Quasimodo. When she looked at the body she said, "Well, I'm not to sure, but the face rings a bell."


Grizelda had a hunch!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/07/2011 12:18:30
"Pardonnez-moi monsieur, est-il un tram pour le barrage?"

"Non, il n'ya pas de barrage de tram."

Doesn't seem to work in French, does it, No tram dam (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Flol%2F4.gif&hash=dc0017defb1737ae43c0ff6efcb35b2a)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: grizelda on 24/07/2011 12:20:39
Poor Quasimodo was in a car accident when he tried to park while lighting a cigarette. His lighter wouldn't work, so he gave it some gas.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 24/07/2011 19:29:21
Is that a Quasi-blast?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/07/2011 19:53:19

No tram dam


At The Univ. of Notre Dame, beaver films are the most popular damn movies!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/07/2011 19:59:59

Is that a Quasi-blast?


You must be referring to:

Phys Rev Lett. 2009 Nov 27;103(22):224501. Epub 2009 Nov 25.
Blast shocks in quasi-two-dimensional supersonic granular flows.
Boudet JF, Cassagne J, Kellay H.
Source
Centre de Physique Moléculaire Optique et Hertzienne, Université Bordeaux 1, UMR 5798 CNRS, 351 cours de la Libération, 33405 Talence, France.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/07/2011 13:56:40

Is that a Quasi-blast?


You must be referring to:

Phys Rev Lett. 2009 Nov 27;103(22):224501. Epub 2009 Nov 25.
Blast shocks in quasi-two-dimensional supersonic granular flows.
Boudet JF, Cassagne J, Kellay H.
Source
Centre de Physique Moléculaire Optique et Hertzienne, Université Bordeaux 1, UMR 5798 CNRS, 351 cours de la Libération, 33405 Talence, France.


Now what the hell am I supposed to do with that? I don't know how you have de Gaulle to leave me so stranded.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/07/2011 15:21:42

Now what the hell am I supposed to do with that? I don't know how you have de Gaulle to leave me so stranded.


You're right but give me a chance, it's still Orly in the morning for me to Field a question like that!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/07/2011 16:58:35
Oh! Just bourget it!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/07/2011 17:47:57


Now what the hell am I supposed to do with that? I don't know how you have de Gaulle to leave me so stranded.


You're right but give me a chance, it's still Orly in the morning for me to Field a question like that!



Oh! Just bourget it!


Charles de Gaulle? Orly? Bourget? Oh sure, they're very good, but not as good as the Beijing airport. Why, there, they even have a whole lot of Chinese checkers!

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 25/07/2011 23:07:27
That's to make sure people are Oriented properly.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/07/2011 23:59:17
Yes! And once they're properly Oriented, they can get in to the Express lines!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/07/2011 10:32:58
I'm having trouble keeping track of this....... What was I going to say? Nope, its no good, I've lost my train of thought. I'd best leave it to you two esteamed members.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/07/2011 02:26:01


You know what I like about you? You never  try to railroad us with your train of thought! But I just can't figure out which engine fuels your desires.

Hmm. Your station in life must be important, that's the ticket! So what's the next stop for you? Whatever it is, you're a man with no patience for delays! Your schedule is prompt and our timetables must simply be made to keep chugging along with yours!!




Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/07/2011 09:01:22
Water loot of puns in one post! You must have let the air get to your head for that lot, have you had a crewe cut? Some of those puns have been waiting to be used for a long time, the sleepers of the punning world. Which points me in the direction of the old boiler of the station mistress. She would always check the money tendered for fares taken by her son in the ticket office. He was nothing like her, no 'chip off the old block', so we assumed she was 'in loco parentis'. She would get all steamed up if he made a mistake, or something along those lines. She was never on the level, crossing him off her list of good employees, until he blew the whistle on her.

Water tower of lies she came out with at the tribunal, siding with the company all the time. After the proceedings, her son said "Aslef (http://www.aslef.org.uk/)t me shocked. I can't believe the way she was crow (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Crow)ing on."
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/07/2011 19:59:03
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.soulofamerica.com%2Fsoagalleries%2Fla%2Fmovie%2FLA-SPE_water_tower.jpg&hash=dd04c99c347821ae0ba27c3def5cf532)

Don_1 is hereby awarded The Punning Thread Water Tower Fame Award. SONY Pictures will certainly feature Don in their next blockbuster (and water film it will be!)


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.newscenter.philips.com%2Fpwc_nc%2Fmain%2Fstandard%2Fresources%2Fcorporate%2Fpress%2F2010%2Fcity_people_light%2FCPL_Lucern_3_160.jpg&hash=b2756d8572a8483fa9cbec2c857cf6ff)

Next, Don will be flown to Lucerne, Switzerland to see water certainly the most progressive ways the city works with Water Tower lighting and architecture!


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.theknot.com%2FPWPimages%2F9013902918458481%2Fwysiwyg%2Fimages%2FSofitel%2520logo.JPG&hash=f4dacd7891cb724e284b10750d2d42e6)

Finally, Don will be whisked to one of the most luxurious establishments water known for its award-winning amenities!


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.broadwayworld.com%2Fcolumnpic3%2F2232448Capture256.JPG&hash=805db341d25a42da612e3ae60635acf2)

Almost forgot to mention water all-paid season tickets to any and all theatrical performances in London that can train him to improve his already well-honed craft!




Don, you do us all proud here at Punning Thread!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi745.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fxx97%2FJML9999%2Fanimated_audience_Applause.gif&hash=e99e8160bb0864e6274338df02d7b334)


Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Airthumbs on 28/07/2011 00:13:22
If you watch the clapping black and white people for more then 30secs it becomes quite disturbing!!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/07/2011 03:50:46
No, they're all white.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/07/2011 04:02:15
Today, July 28th is  –

National Milk Chocolate Day!
http://holidayinsights.com/moreholidays/July/milkchocolateday.htm

We can always use an udder reason for a special treat!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/07/2011 05:00:01

...we assumed she was 'in loco parentis'.


Why? Then what would have been the motive?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/07/2011 09:10:35
National milk chocolate day!!!!!!!!!!(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-excited001.gif&hash=8a90acae0f7ff56de89796e642cec91b) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

YIPEE

No time for puns now, I have some serious scoffing to do......

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Feating1%2F20.gif&hash=63077d6956a2ad5315c7a3d488fdac8c)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/07/2011 10:00:37
I recall an old honey of mine whom I was very sweet on. We would Nestle down in the park Rown trees or in front of the TV to watch Coco the clown.
"How candy do that without hurting himself?" She would ask.
She would dream of the day Her sheyp would come in.
"Where are your parents tonight?" I asked and she replied, "Oh, Mars gone to the farm to tend to the cows. Its her milky way to a bountyful milking in the morning and my step Dad, Terry's gone down the pub."
"In that case" I wispaed "show us your snickers!" She laughed and said "You cad, bury that idea." Then she flaked out on the floor.

I think in heinzight, it was a bit krafty, even though I had bought her an Airfix model of a cat........ (WAIT FOR IT......) She had always wanted a kit-kat.



Time for some more chocy now..... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fd21c.com%2Fwalpurgis9%2Fhappies%2Ffaces%2F072.gif&hash=3168ba716db5aad64f17dcfa552ede9b)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/07/2011 19:54:01

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Feating1%2F20.gif&hash=63077d6956a2ad5315c7a3d488fdac8c)
Time for some more chocy now..... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fd21c.com%2Fwalpurgis9%2Fhappies%2Ffaces%2F072.gif&hash=3168ba716db5aad64f17dcfa552ede9b)


I hereby second that emotion!!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/07/2011 06:40:02

"In that case" I wispaed "show us your snickers!" She laughed and said "You cad, bury that idea."


 [;D]  [;D]  [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/07/2011 13:35:34
Starting today (July 29 - 31)

World Lumberjack Championships!
http://www.lumberjackworldchampionships.com/


'Not only was I stumped,' said the lumberjack, 'but I was barking up the wrong tree.'

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/07/2011 15:02:34
Treemendous!!!

I'll get my chopper out and make a few puns.(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fhitting%2F19.gif&hash=3240092af60d5dc714ec81540e306171)

What? What did I say wrong???(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Finnocent%2F1.gif&hash=0bf9f1639cdbd9221d73d4dfc591dffa)

Just leaf me alone, I'm doing no harm.

Right, now, let's start branching out here. I don't want to sap all my energy on this or I'll be in lumber with the splinter group. Poplar though they may be, I was stuck with them before up the creek without a paddle. We were rowan with our hands to get back to the beech. One of them told a corny joke, so I said, in a Welsh accent 'Willow you pack that in boyo!" He didn't, so I beat him to a pulp. He began to look quite ashen and started pineing for rest. I think he finally twiged it; I was not ammused.

Where would be the best place to learn the art of the lumberjack? The sawbonne!?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/07/2011 16:36:34
Woodn't you know it? Don saw the choppertunity and grabbed it.

He axed no questions, just got on with it.

I bet he's logged many miles to bring punning to a sharpened science!

But doesn't Don know that making fun of a tree is a knock on wood???

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/07/2011 16:43:04


Where would be the best place to learn the art of the lumberjack? The sawbonne!?


Yes. But the University of California, Barkeley is also good.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/07/2011 11:22:24


But doesn't Don know that making fun of a tree is a knock on wood???



I can assure yew, I did not take the matter treevially. Sitting on my laurels while there are puns to be punned, as pened here, has never been my intention, but I do so with no malus nor with the intent to conker. I vyleaf it is my duty to do so and as such I arose to the occasion.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/08/2011 05:48:36
I know you're not green at this, nature has given you much less bark and far more bite.

I feel sappy thinking how you finally awoak to the responsibility to future punners, that is, to sow the seeds of little puns so they can flower and mushroom into much bigger ones.

Remember, even the largest redwood was at one time only a punny little sapling!

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/08/2011 07:21:25
August 1 through August 5 is

National Psychic Week
http://www.psychicsource.com/blog/index.php/3566/featured-psychic/when-is-national-psychic-week-this-year-its-august-1-5/

Now why didn't Don predict that National Psychic Week would start today?????
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: horizon on 01/08/2011 09:22:54
August 1 through August 5 is

National Psychic Week
http://www.psychicsource.com/blog/index.php/3566/featured-psychic/when-is-national-psychic-week-this-year-its-august-1-5/

Now why didn't Don predict that National Psychic Week would start today?????

Out of all the Psychic events, I dont know witch one to go to, Ive heard this one is not very big, its medium sized.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/08/2011 10:30:11
I thought it had been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. It seems not though, I suppose it was on the cards.

Let's hope nothing gets stolen at the conference, I just hate nasty little tea leaves, don't you?

Last year there were complaints about the lack of air conditioning at the event. Attendees were heard to complain to the organisers. One said "Bloody phew! t' your air con, its too damn hot in here." His side kick echoed him. But there were few chairs left empty when the event started. During the morning break, medium roast coffee was served. One delegate threw his coffee on the ground in disgust. Another delegate asked "What did you do that for? tell me." Another asked for his beverage to be stirred, the waiter said "Go stir it yourself."

At lunch, a delegate with a cleft lip enquired as to the 'sooth oph the day'. He remarked it was a shame in this day and age that you cannot always tell witch flavour your food is. "Warlocks", Said the chef, who also had a hair lip. Wine was served with the main course. A dinner remarked on the plastic vessel the wine was served in, saying, "I would have expected, considering the price we have paid, the wine to be served in crystal." "Balls! said a rude waiter, "As trolls, oh gee you don't deserve crystal."

Many stars attended the conference. To their horror, scope of the conference was limited due to time constraints.

A satelite event was held just down the road in the 7th house on the left, but there seemed to be little spirit there, despite the main event being relayed to a plasma screen.

Organiser, Sue F Sayer said she can't remember how she coped with the organisation pre dictaphones, let alone laptops.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/08/2011 02:49:00

I thought [National Psychic Week] had been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. It seems not though, I suppose it was on the cards.

Let's hope nothing gets stolen at the conference, I just hate nasty little tea leaves, don't you?

Last year there were complaints about the lack of air conditioning at the event. Attendees were heard to complain to the organisers. One said "Bloody phew! t' your air con, its too damn hot in here." His side kick echoed him. But there were few chairs left empty when the event started. During the morning break, medium roast coffee was served. One delegate threw his coffee on the ground in disgust. Another delegate asked "What did you do that for? tell me." Another asked for his beverage to be stirred, the waiter said "Go stir it yourself."

At lunch, a delegate with a cleft lip enquired as to the 'sooth oph the day'. He remarked it was a shame in this day and age that you cannot always tell witch flavour your food is. "Warlocks", Said the chef, who also had a hair lip. Wine was served with the main course. A dinner remarked on the plastic vessel the wine was served in, saying, "I would have expected, considering the price we have paid, the wine to be served in crystal." "Balls! said a rude waiter, "As trolls, oh gee you don't deserve crystal."

Many stars attended the conference. To their horror, scope of the conference was limited due to time constraints.

A satelite event was held just down the road in the 7th house on the left, but there seemed to be little spirit there, despite the main event being relayed to a plasma screen.

Organiser, Sue F Sayer said she can't remember how she coped with the organisation pre dictaphones, let alone laptops.


How does one even begin to respond to such a mesmerizing post?

Don's talents seem to go....well....One Step Beyond!

One would surmise that he does his best creepy thinking and writing in The Twilight Zone, and not on Ken Kesey's Magic Bus which is more likely the case.

What I really don't understand is why he doesn't make his livelihood trading in commodities/futures, where he would certainly fare spooktacularly.

I wonder if The Water Tower Fame Award went to his head? He has become increasingly prophetic since then. A concussion? Or perhaps just a romantic brush with the notion of becoming a Weather Forecaster?

Nah, he doesn't have a ghost of a chance. His resume is filled with mysterious disappearances. Dry spells also bother him, so  his insistence on predicting "rain only" limits his career chances.

But I have faith in Don, ever seance I saw him start his syndicated Radio Show, "Ask The Healer", on The WOOO Radio Network.

I have tried to slyly "borrow" money from him before, but he always seems to know exactly what I want, in advance, and why. Spookily, even before _I_ know it!

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/08/2011 03:09:46
Today, August 3, 2011, is:
National Watermelon Day
http://parkseedjournal.com/2008/08/national-waterm.html

" Watermelons doing here? I told you I wanted oranges! "

Seedy posters wanted to follow this up!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/08/2011 09:44:57
Ah! Watermelon Day, now this appeels to me, despite the last pithy post. I shall approach the subject with my usual zest and try not to be too segmented. I should not want the fruits of my labour to be spoilt on this auspicious date. Though I must conseed this time it will be challenging. But I shall enlist the assistance of Baby Spice, with Mel on my side it might be easier, though I don't want that Kournikova girl, so I shall get a moderator to ban Anna. She is a bit tasty though, the apple of her fathers eye and she's got a nice pear.

Now, to prepair my speach. I must get a move on, I have to get a bed for my soon to come Grandchild. It will be needed once he/she has grown out of the cot. Something, as the French would say, 'Apres cot'.

Its no good, I can't figure out what to say. I am grapeling in the dark here, I just don't know what to plump for. Oh man, di are in tricky straits here and that's the truth, would I lie; me?

I can usually do this sort of thing with a passion, but its all turned rather ugly this time. There'll be no star for me!

I'm off, cherryo!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/08/2011 19:40:47
There goes Don again, basketing in the limelight from the fruits of his labors!

You'll never see a band of teenagers cruising past Don's house and pelting it with rotten plums.  (Police describe that as a drive-by fruiting.)

And did you hear about the time Don put an orange in his boxing glove so he could have a fruit punch?

But Don has a sensible plan in life: he will grow fruit trees and live to a ripe old age!


Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/08/2011 19:29:32
Tomorrow, August 5, 2011 is
International Beer Day
http://www.internationalbeerday.com/

So let's get ready! Hop to it! Start brewing trouble and enjoy!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.internationalbeerday.com%2Fbadges%2Fibd-beerheart-badge.jpg&hash=5b3dec9481335c1f78e26c165291ac69)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/08/2011 21:38:48

I shall get a moderator to ban Anna. She is a bit tasty though, the apple of her fathers eye and she's got a nice pear.


 [;D]  [;D]  [;D]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/08/2011 20:24:54

Today, August 13, is
International Left-Handers' Day
http://www.lefthandersday.com/about.html

Celebrate your right to be left-handed!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 14/08/2011 12:31:55
Well, i Left it to the last moment to know it was this special celebration for us Lefties, who are the only right thinking people around.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/08/2011 17:21:17
Sean, you're right!!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/08/2011 09:24:05
Tomorrow, August 5, 2011 is
International Beer Day
http://www.internationalbeerday.com/

So let's get ready! Hop to it! Start brewing trouble and enjoy!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.internationalbeerday.com%2Fbadges%2Fibd-beerheart-badge.jpg&hash=5b3dec9481335c1f78e26c165291ac69)


Curses! I missed out on that one.  Coors, I’m sure I could have brewed up a cocktail of puns in the spirit of this occasion, bud. Wiser in the art of punning than the average man, I may not be, still, ah, art were my way to punification.
Yeast sir, I would have hopped to it. Some may have been light while some larger, none bitter, I hope, but a pale full could have been forthcoming. I could have been the oast with the most.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/08/2011 05:31:01


Please beer with me and my line of thinking, Don, but aren't you competing for The Alcohol Of Fame?

Or is the ice cold draft from the window sudsenly giving me a head cold and fermenting my thinking?

At least I'm not foaming at the mouth over this!

Well, I have to go now and mug for the camera. I'm sure glad my problems lately are only pint-sized.




Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 20/08/2011 07:45:24
Well it's been a Hams dinger of a day today and I think I could use a good stiff drink, but seeing that I haven't yet made it to corpse status yet I think I will steer clear of the embalming fluid and stick to the less permanent relaxation plan...and indulge in a bit of the spirits!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/08/2011 01:49:33

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clipartguide.com%2F_named_clipart_images%2F0511-0803-2714-0404_Cartoon_Pickle_Lounging_With_A_Cocktail_clipart_image.jpg&hash=e8d88de1e1a8a5c60cd880ead9748cb6)

Hi, Karen! Come join me by the pool for a drink! If you're in a pickle because of today, then my looks should be reassuring!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 21/08/2011 02:01:20
That sounds cool..where are you located, surely not in the High Sierras? Looks like its, down in warmer area and I would love to thank you..... your looks would be just fine young man...
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/08/2011 21:13:53

... your looks would be just fine young man...


Why, flattery will get you everywhere, Young Lady!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.jedessine.com%2F_uploads%2Fmembres%2Farticles%2F20110416%2Fy6r8e_male03-happy-smiley-smile-smiley-emoticon-000043-facebook.gif&hash=2b5450d3777bdb4d7fd821bf56838216)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 23/08/2011 01:28:33
Oooooh la la.......
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/08/2011 03:13:42
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mymindseye.com%2Fimages%2FLogo02-OohLaLa.png&hash=b62542460ebbdec3dd3713e94ffda120)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 23/08/2011 05:30:43
Awe...very pretty penmanship!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/08/2011 23:32:32

Karen, since computers took over my life, my penmanship has gone steadily, steadily downhill!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 26/08/2011 05:35:36
Yes.. I wrote a friend and sent a letter in my lovely penmanship and he said it was hard to read after all the years on a computer.. .. lol....
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/08/2011 20:28:48
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdoit101.com%2FPenmanship%2Fimages%2Fill034.jpg&hash=5701297ec926f4f76634fc7a12d84018)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/08/2011 02:49:01
Today, August 30th, 2011 is:
National Toasted Marshmallow Day

They must weigh those marshmallows in GRAHAMs!

I bet there's S'more where that came from!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/08/2011 02:52:35

Curses! I missed out on that one.  Coors, I’m sure I could have brewed up a cocktail of puns in the spirit of this occasion, bud. Wiser in the art of punning than the average man, I may not be, still, ah, art were my way to punification.
Yeast sir, I would have hopped to it. Some may have been light while some larger, none bitter, I hope, but a pale full could have been forthcoming. I could have been the oast with the most.


While this is far from sad or morose, this post above was specially noted by our BEEReavement Committee.

Certainly not a case of POUR judgement by any means.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/08/2011 09:50:02
Today, August 30th, 2011 is:
National Toasted Marshmallow Day

Verily you jest! Who dreamt up this one?

Do you not think it is too marsh to expect people to fork out on this confection in such hard times? Eating too marsh of this could render one liable to frequent visits to the Lavatera. They ar a bic on the soft side for my liking.

Let us raise our glasses in a toast to the late Malcom McLaren who, I am afraid to say, did not repay his debt to me. Mal owed me just a gahstly amount. We wish him sweet dreams.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/08/2011 03:49:18
Don, that was sweet of you to say.

You never sugar coat the truth.

And you always treat us with fine punnery.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/08/2011 10:37:26
A Punners Lament

As I was browsing through the posts,
Upon the science forum.
I found myself somewhat lacking,
In any sense of decorum.

No matter what was written there,
No matter how serious.
I felt the urge to have to write,
Something quite delirious.

But not for me a simple case,
Of scribing something silly.
Oh no dear reader I had to write
Something cheesy as Caerphilly.

I took the words written there,
And found another meaning.
My puns were ‘oft times very stupid,
My posts quite demeaning.

If only I could be more serious,
Write something educated.
A post of wisdom to make my standing,
Become more inflated.

Alas I fear it never shall be,
I have a nose for a pun.
And so the forum members shout,
'Oi trunky, where’s your bun?'
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 31/08/2011 11:17:30
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdoit101.com%2FPenmanship%2Fimages%2Fill034.jpg&hash=5701297ec926f4f76634fc7a12d84018)

Yes this is much like my writing...By the way while punning away in this thread.. I realized that some peoples handwriting simply makes me feel cursive whoops or like cursing!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 31/08/2011 11:20:10
A Punners Lament

As I was browsing through the posts,
Upon the science forum.
I found myself somewhat lacking,
In any sense of decorum.

No matter what was written there,
No matter how serious.
I felt the urge to have to write,
Something quite delirious.

But not for me a simple case,
Of scribing something silly.
Oh no dear reader I had to write
Something cheesy as Caerphilly.

I took the words written there,
And found another meaning.
My puns were ‘oft times very stupid,
My posts quite demeaning.

If only I could be more serious,
Write something educated.
A post of wisdom to make my standing,
Become more inflated.

Alas I fear it never shall be,
I have a nose for a pun.
And so the forum members shout,
'Oi trunky, where’s your bun?'

Lol..LOL...Thats great! by the way the 30th was also my birthday! lol!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/09/2011 05:33:16
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F_UsfhDcgBxwY%2FTMSrN_S3KXI%2FAAAAAAAADNo%2F4p9mTn8qlmk%2Fs1600%2Fhappy_birthday_karen_badge.png&hash=f7b71e77e8046cca53f183a79e524609)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/09/2011 05:45:14

A Punners Lament

As I was browsing through the posts,
Upon the science forum.
I found myself somewhat lacking,
In any sense of decorum.

No matter what was written there,
No matter how serious.
I felt the urge to have to write,
Something quite delirious.

But not for me a simple case,
Of scribing something silly.
Oh no dear reader I had to write
Something cheesy as Caerphilly.

I took the words written there,
And found another meaning.
My puns were ‘oft times very stupid,
My posts quite demeaning.

If only I could be more serious,
Write something educated.
A post of wisdom to make my standing,
Become more inflated.

Alas I fear it never shall be,
I have a nose for a pun.
And so the forum members shout,
'Oi trunky, where’s your bun?'



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-A7lbP7ZfCEo%2FTY9XiqRluNI%2FAAAAAAAAF5I%2FP6lo_PQa5AI%2Fs1600%2FRkb%2Bpoetry%2Baward.png&hash=2cb4302df194548783debd2923ae56fb)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/09/2011 05:56:56
September is
National Piano Month

Tune in and we can tell you the key to what this month is about.

Play a lot, eat with a fork, and keep your pedal to the metal.

Make note of your surroundings. Be sharp. Don't fall flat on your face, it can be a lot of treble!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 01/09/2011 06:43:28
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F_UsfhDcgBxwY%2FTMSrN_S3KXI%2FAAAAAAAADNo%2F4p9mTn8qlmk%2Fs1600%2Fhappy_birthday_karen_badge.png&hash=f7b71e77e8046cca53f183a79e524609)
Thank you Demo... how pretty...sweet!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/09/2011 14:27:22
National Piano Month!?!?!? Oh! How grand. This is great news baby.

I'm sure Einstein, way before he dabbled in physics, enjoyed the piano. "It will be his forté" said his Scottish uncle. "Eeee bonny lad I've o real good feeling aboot this we bairn." He may have been wrong about Albert's future, but he was a good upright man.

So let nobody put a damper on this month, or pedal any daft puns ((https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fclueless%2F1.gif&hash=ba6e884e2ac18d739c0e89967c82862b)). Opps, better put a lid on it a bit sharpish, before some stoolpigeon lets on. I don't want to be laid flat by the Pun Police, especially while I'm wearing a G string........ Don't even think about it... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fparanoid%2F1.gif&hash=df999c6061c96963445f647d632baeb5)

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: neilep on 01/09/2011 18:03:08
A Punners Lament

As I was browsing through the posts,
Upon the science forum.
I found myself somewhat lacking,
In any sense of decorum.

No matter what was written there,
No matter how serious.
I felt the urge to have to write,
Something quite delirious.

But not for me a simple case,
Of scribing something silly.
Oh no dear reader I had to write
Something cheesy as Caerphilly.

I took the words written there,
And found another meaning.
My puns were ‘oft times very stupid,
My posts quite demeaning.

If only I could be more serious,
Write something educated.
A post of wisdom to make my standing,
Become more inflated.

Alas I fear it never shall be,
I have a nose for a pun.
And so the forum members shout,
'Oi trunky, where’s your bun?'


Wonderful Don...ewe've found your vocation !
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 01/09/2011 18:36:11
Lol...lol...lol......Now that was completely scaled to fit the appropriate subject...bearing in mind that a note like that could start a crescendo of appropriate punning that would send vibrations through the world of music starting back with Bach and Beethoven...etc....that we would half to take so many rests that. Even a minor note might could start many a new pianist into tickling the ivories!  It would be like a concerto of
unimaginable talent let loose on the
world of music... a grand
performance from every walk of
life....opening new doors with every
press of the keys until even
those bars at the begining are
compiled and added to the many
pages of  sheet music being read by
piano soloists everywhere! Every
chord played with precision and
impeccable timing. It would certainly
set the bench high for anyone just
begining to embark in a carreer of such sustained highs and incredible
lows always keeping their ears alert
so the pieces never sound flat or out
of tune...
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 01/09/2011 18:39:18
A Punners Lament

As I was browsing through the posts,

Upon the science forum.
I found myself somewhat lacking,
In any sense of decorum.

No matter what was written there,
No matter how serious.
I felt the urge to have to write,
Something quite delirious.

But not for me a simple case,
Of scribing something silly.
Oh no dear reader I had to write
Something cheesy as Caerphilly.

I took the words written there,
And found another meaning.
My puns were ‘oft times very stupid,
My posts quite demeaning.

If only I could be more serious,
Write something educated.
A post of wisdom to make my standing,
Become more inflated.

Alas I fear it never shall be,
I have a nose for a pun.
And so the forum members shout,
'Oi trunky, where’s your bun?'


Wonderful Don...ewe've found your vocation !
Yes indeedy he has kind Sir!...lol... precision timing on.    Both of your parts!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/09/2011 19:12:51

At Ye Olde Punning Thread.....



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstore02.prostores.com%2Fl2designcollective%2Fcatalog%2FSUS01.jpg&hash=9b7d2a636861bd7f91e30faf3c489a17)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 01/09/2011 19:18:27
Like an old player piano......rolling out the tunes!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/09/2011 19:23:26

Wow, Karen, you missed your calling! A punny one!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 01/09/2011 19:56:26

Wow, Karen, you missed your calling! A punny one!
Lol...just depends on the topic sand my brain functioning on any given day...you never know when my tune may completely fail as old as I am its hard for me to keep playing the right tune what with wear and tear on the keyboard.. and wires, that time seems to get me rather out of tune and makes
me get a tad off key if you know what I mean?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/09/2011 05:32:20
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fphoto-8.jpg&hash=f93e7596dcf83e60b78bb0d82e992e15)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 03/09/2011 02:34:19
Looks like it needs its 100,000 mile tune up!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/09/2011 05:35:11

You can tune a piano but you can't tuna-fish.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/09/2011 00:09:16
September is
Happy Cat Month!
http://www.littlebigcat.com/blog/its-happy-cat-month/


It's a secret, so don't let the cat outta the bag!

And ask yourself this question: Is your cat finally house broken? Litterly?

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F_tRlky1tMPAI%2FSh7qE-QLfbI%2FAAAAAAAAC5M%2FXqJLV6RD1-Y%2Fs400%2Fhappy-cat.jpg&hash=6ef2ce96ceb7d1cad54113680b03684a)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/09/2011 09:35:42
I don't have a cat! Can I put a fur coat on my tortoises and make out I have a cat?

Ever seen a tortoise up a tree?

Sorry, I'm feline a little tired today. Tabby honest, I'm totally s***ed out! I can't pussyfoot around any more, I have work to do, me owd buddies. Last day at ExCeL, purrfect!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/09/2011 02:37:20
Don, we started the poker game, please put more money in the kitty.

And don't drink any whiskery.

Clawing your way to the top may be why you're not feline great.

Glad you could chime in on Happy Cat Month. It's the tail end of September.

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 25/09/2011 03:33:44
I'm not going to pussyfoot around, I dropped by fur a little nip and found you cats unravelling the purrrfect thread.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/09/2011 21:21:52
DONNAH, nice to see you! I'm so glad you don't play cat-and-mouse-games with us. Always direct and straightforward!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/10/2011 17:41:19
October is
Apple Month!
http://windsor.patch.com/articles/october-is-national-apple-month


I couldn't decide whether or not to make spiced apple cider, so I mulled it over.

The apple crossed the street because he wanted to get to the other cider the road.

She was the apple of his eye and he liked to sit down be cider.

If you're looking for oranges on an apple tree you will have a fruitless search.

An apple farmer with poor yields has to get to the core of the problem.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fb58acd03.jpg&hash=566d6379a29f6416ecc41c9f35cbef33)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/10/2011 16:32:51
Now that a peels*** to me. I'm sure a few pithy puns must be lurking around here somewhere.

Will it be easy to find them, or chard. Somer set in my mind, others in the base of my spine or coxis. What a bummer! Ooer, that was a bit strudel.



*** Please note the double pun.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/10/2011 21:41:30

I'm sure a few pithy [apple] puns must be lurking around here somewhere.


I'm sure, too. It would be a pity otherwise!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/10/2011 10:09:58
I can't wait for Pear month......











(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.newscientist.com%2Fblog%2Flastword%2Fuploaded_images%2F070905_shapely_pear-776051.jpg&hash=2309bbeed6568de38d59bf2d53f6c94d)

YES???????? And just what picture were you expecting?

I don't know, some people........... always got their minds in the gutter (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fowlsalive.com%2Fresources%2F_wsb_161x161_Rock%2Bn%2BGoals%2BLes%2BDawson.jpg&hash=d464b7f8991693c2387619df08eef5d2)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 05/10/2011 17:02:18
A- pear-ant-ly it ap-pears to be pear season here now as my pear tree is losing its pear in pears I mean pairs...!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/10/2011 17:44:52


See, Don? Just say the word and a nice pear walks in to say hi!!!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/10/2011 12:37:25
Ah yes! And wearing some nice apearal, I'll wager.

Which brings a question to mind; why do I have a shirt but a pair of trousers?

Why not a shirt and a trouser? Or a pair of shirts?

OK, so the trousers go over two legs, but then a bra holds two (eh em, you know what I mean), but its a bra, not a pair of bras.

What's this got to do with punning?????????

Any way, back to the pair pear. A much underrated fruit. Perhaps we should set up a conference to discuss this matter. I'm sure it would be a sensation. Topics could include the use of peartree dishes in biochemical research, pear reviewing scientific research and the application of pearabolas in mathematics. I'm sure the audience would clapp wildly. We could also have a demonstration of how to pare a pair of pears.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/10/2011 04:23:49

Amazing, Don! So things are not always as they appear!

Just my opinion, but I think your exploration of bras and trousers, (NOT to be confused with  _browsers_  that hold up the Internet.) far more compelling for some strange reason. Hm.

Now I hope to pare my waist by eating more of those conference sensations. After all, how can 50 million doctors be wrong???

Thanks for the great education, now maybe we can start a PTA  (Pearent-Teacher Association, too!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/10/2011 04:31:04
Don's Pear Punning Award!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.giftsforprofessionals.com%2Fimages%2Ff8bi9c919031270m%2Fjade-pear-shaped-employee-recognition-award.jpg&hash=ef3e22b49a3ccbe1bb35aed3e28b9b6c)

If you lie it on its side, it can double as a peartree dish!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/10/2011 04:59:01

I can't wait for Pear month......


It's in December!
http://www.usapears.org/en/Facts%20And%20Nutrition/Pressroom/Press%20Releases/USDA_Declares_December_National_Pear_Month_120110.aspx
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/10/2011 11:52:34


It's in December


Can I wait that long? Who knows? Pearhaps I can, I'm sure it will be treemendous.

But what about Loganberries and goosgogs??? I just lurrrrrrrve them. Just one small problem, I can instantly think of a goosgog pun: The weather was rather inclement, so I gave the order to the bird, 'Goose, berry your eggs'. But a loganberry pun?????


Hmmmmmmm......... Ah yes.......

After the harvest I was logan berries into the truck to take to market when a hijacker of considerable disadvantage in height tried to rob me. Well, I was having none of that, but he was too short for me counter as he drew his pistol from its holster. I put my hands up. I did not want this low gun burying me.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/10/2011 05:39:52
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Ffainting%2F1.gif&hash=9f679325d51a2a8410934e5499e6100e)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/10/2011 05:58:41
This is
International Newspaper Carrier Day!

Like his counterpart in the postal service, a good carrier always keeps you posted.

(However, the postal service is a mail dominated profession).
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/10/2011 06:28:48

 (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fowlsalive.com%2Fresources%2F_wsb_161x161_Rock%2Bn%2BGoals%2BLes%2BDawson.jpg&hash=d464b7f8991693c2387619df08eef5d2)


This is an invasion of privacy! However did you acquire my official Passport photo?????

Harrrruuuummmmppphhh!!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/10/2011 15:52:51
This is
International Newspaper Carrier Day!

Sorry, I have to report I have a more pressing engagement.

Edward, bring that 5th columnist over here, now Ed, 'it 'er with this gun, but be sure to eject the magazine first.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/10/2011 17:59:08
Do you think International Punning Chimney Sweep's Day might be super-flue-house here?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/10/2011 03:42:19

Do you think International Punning Chimney Sweep's Day might be super-flue-house here?


No, but extra-vagcant perhaps?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/10/2011 22:16:36
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.halloweenmegasale.com%2FImages%2FAnimatedPumpkin.gif&hash=979e2043605add4a202a0b1d9f343ea2)


Halloween's approaching!

Don't forget to pump your kin for any ideas they may have for you!

2 [pumpkin] heads are better than one!

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/10/2011 11:47:54
If only your name was Ian, I could say 'Hello Ian'.

Its all a load of old warlocks anyway. Witch day does it fall on? I suppose I shall have to enter into the spirit of the event, it gouls without saying really.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/10/2011 03:58:18



"Ghouls without saying"?

I won't fall for that trick or I'll be treated much worse by The Ghostbusters! {fright}


Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/10/2011 13:04:16

"Ghouls without saying"?



WHOOOOSHhhhh


"Wow!!! What was that?
"I don't know, it went without saying."

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/10/2011 16:49:38
I would write you a letter, but my pen has run out.

****Come back, pen****


Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/10/2011 16:53:30
On the first day of Xmas,
My true love sent to me.....

A section of a protrusion from a cliff face in a shallow glass dish spread with agar.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: imatfaal on 25/10/2011 09:59:05
a part-ridge in a petri?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/10/2011 12:39:22
a part-ridge in a petri?

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fclapping%2F1.gif&hash=630ce9426a81d34b7f5a5ad07dbf2d06)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/11/2011 01:50:46

I would write you a letter, but my pen has run out.

****Come back, pen****





When it returns, don't PENalize it just for taking a beak!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/11/2011 15:02:01
Have you seen my walking stick?
Yes, it went out for a walk
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/11/2011 05:23:53

Have you seen my walking stick?

Yes, it went out for a walk


Don: stick to your guns, reprimand it as needed, but don't let this become a sticking point in furthering your harmonious relations with the well-intentioned walking stick.



Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/11/2011 05:40:43
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F23f2e245.jpg&hash=87cef78169cd718c7614035caf052b80)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/11/2011 15:50:50
You left the tap running
How do you know?
Because its miles away now
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/11/2011 15:53:11
Senile agitation?

Sounds like stirring up an Egyptian river.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/11/2011 19:52:34
Don, the advertising is out already for the movie:

"See Nile Agitation" !!

Starring Crocodile Dundee
              + Cast of 1,000's of Egyptian Military!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/11/2011 19:57:51

You left the tap running

How do you know?

Because its miles away now


I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/11/2011 09:42:35
I'll thank you not to plug your alternative occupations here. It can be a drain on rescorces to be over flowing with such information.

Anyway, water you talking about, I thought you were in to playing the bass in a group and tending to your crop of plumbs.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/11/2011 02:48:02

I think your ears are clogged. Do you still think I'm flush with cash?

I took a plunge into tap dancing, and I'm lucky I survived!

Also thought you had a better handle on the situation.

My advice:  don't confuse  a "Quintile" (in math) for an Italian ceramic factory.

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/11/2011 20:35:51
November is.....National Novel Writing Month!
http://www.nanowrimo.org/

This may be novel to you, and news to me!

A novelist's career is not written in stone, so c'mon and write, you may just be the next Hemingway!

Paper the walls with all your Great Ideas for that novel!

And once you've made that promise to write,  keep your word!





Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/11/2011 17:58:48
I shall book a date to cover to this event. My page, Alan, will accompany me. I can get him to place my stakes on the horses that day, yes, I shall use Al for bets.

Will I get slated for that contrived pun? Another one for Demo to chalk up. He'll doubtless sentence me to 100 lines for that.

If I were a ship, would I be in decks?

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/11/2011 05:20:24

If I were a ship, would I be in decks?


There goes Don, using his index finger to ask a lot of pointed questions.

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/11/2011 14:07:36

If I were a ship, would I be in decks?


There goes Don, using his index finger to ask a lot of pointed questions.



Drat & Curses, while thumbing through the book I have been fingered again by the Demo-punster. You've got to hand it to him, most face defeet at his army of puns, they are so far ahead of the rest. Any man, once beaten, well, hel bow to your superior puns if you kneed him to, or will have no option but to leg it, with his feeble puns in toe tow. His puns will have been waisted.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/11/2011 00:12:51
Just like Don, Grey's Anatomy has many humerus remarks.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/11/2011 09:28:51
...... humerus .........

Isn't that commonly known as the 'funny bone'?


The bone of contention here, is that ulnather bone which can hammer out jokes anvil you with joy and laughter is the scapula, though you would not agree if during WWII you had been in Scapula Flow (http://www.scapaflow.co.uk/wartime.htm). I hope I don't get a ribbing for that. Demo can be quite sternum at times.

Must pop off to the shop now, get Mr. Patela to supply me with a table cloth of a radius to fit the kitchen table. It will have tibia a blue one to match the decor. If I don't, I will only stirr up trouble with the Mrs.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/11/2011 23:34:50


...... humerus .........


Isn't that commonly known as the 'funny bone'?


I don't find that the least bit humerus whatsoever.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/11/2011 23:40:40

I hope I don't get a ribbing for that. Demo can be quite sternum at times.


Whew!

I'm sooooooooo glad you got THAT off your chest! [:)]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/11/2011 23:57:00

"Ghouls without saying"?



WHOOOOSHhhhh


"Wow!!! What was that?
"I don't know, it went without saying."




(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fclapping%2F1.gif&hash=630ce9426a81d34b7f5a5ad07dbf2d06)

Mod edit - the above animated-emoticon was brazenly plagiarized from Don_1 November 11, 2011 @ 04:05PM PDT. Scotland Yard advised.



Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 11/11/2011 16:55:25
"Hey!" Said Coropral Ricky, "That's a swizz."
"Are you sure rick?" Retorted Gen Eva, "if so may he Berne in hell. Pvt. Lucy, do your worst on him."
"Yeah Luc earn your wages and set light to his wohlen jumper."



From the above, you may deduce that I am off on my travels again at the weekend. Zurich for a few days. You could say I'm on a roll, ..............
Altogether now........ a...........
Swiss Roll  [::)]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/11/2011 23:32:19


I will certainly refrain from making any cheesy comments.


Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/11/2011 13:38:11
I wanted to know the best time to see the Dales, so I asked a local 'Wens le dale in full flower?'. He seemed to take umbrage to my query and muttered "Grrr you're just another tourist, there's still tons of flowers in bloom."

Another local said, "Eee dam you, you old codger. I'll tell him. Go down by the medevil fort for a good view. The rock fort is a popular site."

"Thank you Mr?" I queried.

"Just call me Chedwin." He responded.

"Ched, ah an unusual name these days" I said.

"Eee man tell him some other places," piped up another local, "and tell him the whey to brie sure he gets there."
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/11/2011 19:49:40
It was a lovely day at the fair, so I came an' Bert.


Hehehe, I slipped in a krafty one there.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/11/2011 10:15:53
Such a lovely day it was, that I sat on the green sward.



"OUCH! Who left this sword lying around?"
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/11/2011 23:35:20

It was a lovely day at the fair, so I came an' Bert.


Hehehe, I slipped in a krafty one there.


Oh, Don, admit it! You are writing all these lovely but cheesy puns so you can brag once again about all your highflying Swiss travels and conquests !

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/11/2011 11:02:48
Cheesy puns???? Now there's food for thought.

I wonder if brains would be good food for thought.

Eyeballs good for vision. Pigs trotters good for marathon runners.

Mussels good for weight lifters.

Sausages good for...........(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fhitting%2F7.gif&hash=e6353eb01da74af44d5cde972ec84d5a)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/11/2011 15:15:30
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/11/2011 15:45:36
December is
Quince and Watermelon Month
http://www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov/month/watermelon.html


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.angievargas.com%2Fimages%2Fdecember.gif&hash=cd6bed6ff86e1085e851f71db4d2e971)



I know what you're all thinking, "Demo, water you ranting about NOW???"

But it's really just a quinceidence that this is a sweet month.

Maybe Don will re-do the definition ?
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/11/2011 16:18:09
Ah! The quinceessntial month of December approaches. (Excuse me London accent).

Yes, here I cydonia my chair getting the pip over a large fruit. I can get very pithy about this sort of thing. Such a fruitless excersize. And does anyone invite me arind their gaff to partake of these natural delights? Its no coquinceidence that they don't.

"How much is that melon mate?"
"To you guv, it'll be two quince."
"Shouldn't that be 'two quid'?"
"You read your script, I'll read mine."
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/11/2011 16:34:33


(Excuse me London accent).


What do you call a melon that's not allowed to get married?

Can't elope.

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/11/2011 18:04:07
Oh my gourd, where's 'er indoors?

"Honey, dew my medication now, I musk have it, I'm going to that galia meeting of the Punster Society tonight. I don't want to show myself up like last time, when I called the Chairman 'Sugar', that's har al y need".

Now that's what you call a contrived pun!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/11/2011 05:03:23

...I called the Chairman 'Sugar'...


Cane sugar can't be beet.

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/11/2011 05:19:45

"Honey, dew my medication now...


Before we married, I told my wife, "Honey, dew you realize we cantaloupe because they would banana from traveling to chili."
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/11/2011 10:21:33

...I called the Chairman 'Sugar'...


Cane sugar can't be beet.



No, but you can whisk it.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/11/2011 10:48:32
With all this eloping in mind, I have decided to get religion.

I shall become a spiritualist. Apparently, after drinking a bottle of Scotch or some other strong spirit you list to one side or the other and then start singing 'Aisle be seeing you in all the old familiar places'. But after so much drink, you must not go anywhere via car or the police will priest you to alter your ways.

When the effect of the drink has worn off, you get an unholy pain in the temple and are liable to pewk.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/12/2011 01:02:26

Have faith, Don, a bolt of enlightenment will hit you slowly, but not rite away.

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/12/2011 11:12:35

Have faith, Don,

I would have Faith, but she want's nothing to do with me, so I'll try Christine instead.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/12/2011 14:00:35

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/12/2011 14:23:19
December 2 - tomorrow
Is National Mutt Day
http://m.examiner.com/examiner/pm_60901/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=lFm2OmJm

I hope this post breeds more awareness of our scruffier canine friends.

Paws for a moment and consider their situation.

Don''t make them beg for your attention.

And if you're well-heeled, buy a mutt a manicure or pedicure. Today.



Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/12/2011 17:22:38
Much as I love dogs, I could never keep one because we both work. It would be unfair to let a dog rot while ‘er indoors and myself are out all day.

Thought you were going to get off scottie free there didn’t you? I thought I’d poodle up to the pun to throw you off the scent. I can be a right little terrier at times.

Now where’s that young lad Jack? I’m getting hungry. “Oi Jack, russell up some grub will you. I wouldn’t mind a nice collieflower cheese.” I have to meet the Mrs at the station and setter on her way to the supermarket. She’ll hound me chronic if I don’t pointer in the right direction. Probably cut my trousers to shreds, so I’ll have my bum hanging out and peeking knees! She’s always calling me a tosa, just the slightest mistake and she tells me “Hold out your hand while I whippet.” 

I’d send the lad to it for me, but that would only throw a spaniel in the works and I’d still have to go to retriever anyway. When ‘er indoors gets in a tiz, it be goulish, I can tell you.

Right, best get off now, chow, chow.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/12/2011 17:34:43
Stone me! Even I'm quite pleased with that post! Especially the tosa (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tosa_(dog))!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Flol%2F4.gif&hash=dc0017defb1737ae43c0ff6efcb35b2a)

Good grief! even a smiley pun.... its Mutley!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/12/2011 23:23:13
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.harthill.se%2FBilder%2Fanimated%2520dog%2520slow.gif&hash=771c2f60a8c267bbc180005105cb7ef3)



Don wins the Perpetual Punning Dog Award!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/12/2011 08:28:01
Ding goes the door bell. I open the door to find the neighbour standing there.
"Hi Ena" I say to her. She's quite a foxy lady.
"Have any spare milk? Our Johnny has wolfed down all of our's." she says in her husky voice. I invite her in to the kitchen.
"Doing anything special for Xmas?" she enqires.
"No, you're barking up the wrong tree there." I growl. "Are you expecting any good presents?" I continue.
"I doubt it" she replies "just the usual new pair of pants."
She sits on my lap and I cockern eye at her. I know where this is leading to. "Carefull" I say, "we don't want to get collared again for this hanky panky." I could tell you a tail or two, but I paws for the sake of good taste.
As she leaves, I say "Nice of you to come by." and we both howl with laughter.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/12/2011 00:08:49

"...Our Johnny has wolfed down all of our's".


Unable to get help with my refinancing made me a loan wolf.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/12/2011 02:36:53

Unable to get help with my refinancing made me a loan wolf.


Better than being a loan dog fishshark!

"Hey! Mr Papadopalopalopalopadus, wanna borrow a few meillion Euros? Cheaper pryyce inteerrest, only 1001%."
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/12/2011 02:51:30

Unable to get help with my refinancing made me a loan wolf.


Better than being a loan dog fish shark!


It's a shark-eat-shark world, I tell ya!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/12/2011 02:54:27


He was the most dishonest and cleverest card shark in the city, but the police said he will be dealt with.


Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/12/2011 11:06:35
From your report with the Met Police.

I spoke to some of the officers under the command of Detective Inspector Ali B. Aster, just before they raided the shark’s illegal gaming den. I asked one of them, “Can Aster bring this card shark, Jack Dupp,  to book?”

The sergeant replied “Oh yes, we’ll get Black Jack, as he’s known in his club, bang to rights. I don’t want blow the DI’s trumpet, but he’s a good copper, a real diamond geezer.”

Dogs would not be used on this raid as the handler had to take some puppies to the vet to be spayed.

There was a great deal of tension in the air as we prepared to raid the club. The officers shuffled around and took up position. Then came the word to go. We rushed over the bridge and crashed through the door. The Sergeant was shouting “Armed police, nobody move, stay where you are and hit the deck.”

One of the players cried out “What the blinking hell’s going on? Have a heart this is my first time here. ”

Another said “I can’t stay down here for long, I’m getting old, you know.” The PC stood over him said “Don’t crib, ageism is against the Queen’s law. Others just stared poker faced at the floor.

DI Aster pulled Jack to his feet and said “This is a black day for you.” And then red him his rights. “I should have known this raid was on the cards.” said Jack "I saw it in the stars, the Moon was in line with Jupiter and acemetrical with Venus.

DI Aster poured a glass of orange duce and offer some to Jack, who shook his head. “Suit yourself.” The DI said. He looked around at all the gamblers and pointing to one table said “These are four of a kind. Looks like you had a full house here tonight.” He motioned to the sergeant and said “Right, take ‘em away.”

One pair of gamblers tried to make a wild break for it, but there were two pair of officers at the door who grabbed them and put them straight in the back of the van. “A right royal mess you jokers are in.” said one officer to them, "Well, you've had your chips now.

The officers left the club feeling flushed with success. The last one out called out the mowser, "Here kitty", closed and sealed the door behind him.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/12/2011 00:28:43
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.trophystoreuk.com%2Fstore%2Fimages%2FA897A.jpg&hash=42b986ba1ae15aa06a7cadb28f17e45a)



Don wins yet another Award!!!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/12/2011 01:29:02
Thanks Demo. I have a space on my shelf to fill. That award should do the trick nicely.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/12/2011 05:25:37

Thanks Demo. I have a space on my shelf to fill. That award should do the trick nicely.


LOL, Don, you're such a card!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/12/2011 11:59:01
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.sodahead.com%2Fpolls%2F000773779%2Fpolls_angry_shouting_smiley_4450_311441_answer_5_xlarge.gif&hash=ad9ae61236a17a3d23823ba8e57b7086) DEMOGRAFX!!!

Shame on you, you have failed to point out that December is Tie Month.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.ehowcdn.co.uk%2Farticle-page-main%2Fehow%2Fimages%2Fa07%2F0j%2Ft9%2Fmake-tie-knots-800x800.jpg&hash=62cf106ed33653477da7e73931616057)

I pin this omission squarely on your shoulders. Usually I would bow to your superior knowledge on such matters, but, admit it, this time you've been collared.

I don't understand, I'm not a tricky dickie. Were you afraid I'd stitch you up like a kipper, or did you think I'd just tell you to get knotted?

I may forgive you, boot lacet time I do, so please keep us informed or I shall give it to you in the neck.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/12/2011 21:34:18

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.sodahead.com%2Fpolls%2F000773779%2Fpolls_angry_shouting_smiley_4450_311441_answer_5_xlarge.gif&hash=ad9ae61236a17a3d23823ba8e57b7086) DEMOGRAFX!!!


Shame on you, you have failed to point out that December is Tie Month.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.ehowcdn.co.uk%2Farticle-page-main%2Fehow%2Fimages%2Fa07%2F0j%2Ft9%2Fmake-tie-knots-800x800.jpg&hash=62cf106ed33653477da7e73931616057)





(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thedailyi.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F06%2Fremorse-bank.jpeg&hash=ca96914d916d7e61f2f7d9676afe9adb)

Oh no! I goofed! Horrifically!!! Will I have to tie one on in shame?? Your news just bowled me over.

You've exposed me for the tierant that I have always been.

The reason I couldn't post it was because I was tied up at the moment.

Don, next time please have more compassion when judging me: when I was once a sailor, I had ties to home but was knot there often.

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/12/2011 09:43:02

....... I was tied up at the moment.


One day your antics with that Au pair will get found out!


OK, you are forgiven this time, but any more omissions and it will be the rack for you or a spot of neck stretching. I’ll have no more slipping. That will become abundantly clear.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/12/2011 00:10:20

Anything but waterboarding! Last time you did that I was on a liquid diet for a whole week!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/12/2011 05:31:49

Will I have to tie one on in shame??


Too late! I missed Tie One On Day, November 23!

Will have to wait for next year's !
http://www.apronmemories.com/tie-one-on-day/

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/12/2011 11:04:52

Will I have to tie one on in shame??


Too late! I missed Tie One On Day, November 23!



I would taiwan on to cover my shy knees but I think I've a cold coming on, or some sort of germ anyway. I feel chile and so sick man, illa than you can imagine. I'd best eat something, like turkey, as they say you should feed a cold, though I don't feel hungary, or I're land up in bed for a few days. Of course 'er indoors will never believe it, I'll have to peruve it to her that I haves pain.

She'll just say 'get in dia van, burma bit of rubber and get going. Nor way am I letting you laze around before Xmas.'.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 08/12/2011 22:17:41

....... I was tied up at the moment.


One day your antics with that Au pair will get found out!


OK, you are forgiven this time, but any more omissions and it will be the rack for you or a spot of neck stretching. I’ll have no more slipping. That will become abundantly clear.

Demografx, Don_1's forgiveness must have set you at Tie one ease!

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/12/2011 02:20:31


Truly, Donnah, I feel exonerated. Or is that x-rated?

Hmm.

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/12/2011 02:30:26

I would taiwan on to cover my shy knees but I think I've a cold coming on, or some sort of germ anyway. I feel chile and so sick man, illa than you can imagine. I'd best eat something, like turkey, as they say you should feed a cold, though I don't feel hungary, or I're land up in bed for a few days. Of course 'er indoors will never believe it, I'll have to peruve it to her that I haves pain.

She'll just say 'get in dia van, burma bit of rubber and get going. Nor way am I letting you laze around before Xmas.'.



I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/12/2011 10:20:38

I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.


R, L O, F U N E M N X
S, V F M N X

Any excuse for this sketch (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cc3M1nppd3c) from The Two Ronnies.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/12/2011 15:54:52

Any excuse for this sketch (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cc3M1nppd3c) from The Two Ronnies.




(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F441919-Royalty-Free-RF-Clip-Art-Illustration-Of-A-Cartoon-Businessman-Laughing-His-Head-Off.jpg&hash=5d6bd7d5e93102dab878575b56c5dc19)



(LMFAHO!)


Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/12/2011 12:59:24
Good grief Demo. you seem to have lost your mind!

I should have known it was a mistake to let you watch that clip, especially since I had just bought you this 4.000 year old Egyptian cranial adornment for Xmas:

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fegyptologist.org%2Fdiscus%2Fmessages%2F10%2F18819.jpg&hash=f1f0242b6d86c12d9300a3978716d643)


Ah well, I’ll send it back, after all de cap it ancient anyway.



What's that in the road ahead?
What's that in the road, a head?



Q. What is Demo's head singing as it rolls off into the distance?
A. 'I Ain't Got Nobody'.

The old ones are the oldest!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 10/12/2011 21:22:47
This 'E chipped chin fellow nose he has a great hat on his whooping big craneum.  You two rule, so hop in the car, Toot 'n cam on over, 'cause I'd like to show this to my mummy.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/12/2011 04:38:42

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freakingnews.com%2Fpictures%2F45500%2FLon-Chaney-Finally-Gets-Mummy-Award--45914.jpg&hash=78b1248844401b5500078b2f91572d47)

And Don has agreed to share with Donnah......... the Mummy Punny Award!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/12/2011 05:44:55

And this is all relevant - even today:  it was the pharaohs of Egypt who worked out the very first pyramid scheme!
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/12/2011 06:03:53

In Egypt archaeologists pyramid the ruins for mummies and those places where ancient wrappers performed.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 11/12/2011 18:39:32
You birds are a hoot and sound like a couple of wise old owls.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/12/2011 19:51:52
Thank you, Donnah!

Your punctuation is always welcome here!

[:)]  [:)]
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/12/2011 21:46:18


I had just bought you this 4.000 year old Egyptian cranial adornment for Xmas:

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fegyptologist.org%2Fdiscus%2Fmessages%2F10%2F18819.jpg&hash=f1f0242b6d86c12d9300a3978716d643)


THANK YOU, DON!! I will treasure this forever! And I will bury all previous resentment. [:)]





Q. What is Demo's head singing as it rolls off into the distance?

A. 'I Ain't Got Nobody'.



The headlines nobody likes are wrinkles.

Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/12/2011 13:05:00
Toot 'n cam on over, 'cause I'd like to show this to my mummy.

We will! What's more, we will bring an old time group to play some music during the unveiling, though it has to be said, the band age will be quite high.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/12/2011 13:15:05


The headlines nobody likes are wrinkles.



The local beauty salon offers a cure for wrinkles, smoothing on a mixture of essential oils. I have seen them balming as i walk past.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/12/2011 17:25:15

I have seen them balming as i walk past.


Embalming? Mummies? Oh, c'mon, you certainly know that's a dead art.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/12/2011 18:18:56
Sometimes I have grave worries about you, Demo. They are not only my worries, they're hearse indoors too! You'll come to some greef one day.
Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/12/2011 06:25:57

Sometimes I have grave worries about you, Demo.


You're projecting, Don, and it's all because you're simply buried in your work. Slow down!



They are not only my worries, they're hearse indoors too!


Awwww, now you sound just like those heavy drinkers who always put the quart before the hearse.


Title: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 15/12/2011 05:45:38
How can he be impaired if he's drinking alone?  [???]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/12/2011 12:40:31
How can he be impaired if he's drinking alone?  [???]

The last time an imp aired his views to me, I smashed him in the gob lined him up with some other miscreants and pixi enough of them to make a grimm example of. One, named Peggy I kicked up the bum. Peggy’s arse was so sore she couldn’t sit down. The others I made gargoyle with vinegar, which made their throat’s very unelfy. I made this torture drag on until they pleaded for mercy. “We feel very grotoy” they said. “Fair enough”, I said and let them wander off into the woodland for rest and recuperation. Should any of them return, I warned them, to dsingly delve into mischief again, I’ll give them a fairy rough dusting down.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/12/2011 00:26:43

How can he be impaired if he's drinking alone?  [???]


Donnah!

"How can he be impaired?" you ask?

Well....when we were together once, he spilled a drink on my shirt and said, "this one is on me."

Impaired I say! Off with his head!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/12/2011 12:00:48


.... he spilled a drink on my shirt and said, "this one is on me."


Shouldn't he have said, 'this one is on you'???


 Off with his head!


So, we are back to that business again, are we. De cap it ain't shunned after all.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/12/2011 12:41:38
Dear Donnah, Demo and other members of the TNS Punnster Society,

I am sure that as the fester festive season approaches, yule log on to demonstrate your abilities in the art of punning.

Can I please request that do not come up with any turkeys, but rather make your presents felt with only the most treemendous examples of celebratory puns. Be sure an gel your puns together in fine TNS fashion, rather than stuffing us with mere trifles. May I also remind you that pudding the donkey before the cart can lead to confusion.

I am sure you wise men and women will ensure that you shepherd your words together in a most conducive manner. The gift of the Gab, real as it may be, is only bestowed on the few, and you are privileged to be stable members among them, stars in your own write rite right left (Bugger it.)

We look forward to hearing from Carol, though sometimes her hum bugs us,  and to a nice hot cuppa from Demo, he brews a good pot of tea, and itS Ann ta supply the mince pies this year.

Wishing you all the breast for the new year,

‘er indoors and Don_1 two to too .
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 20/12/2011 19:52:34
If you toad them, will they croak?

Was watching youtoob, saw a video of a Peruvian "aphrodisiac"  smoothie that involved a stunned frog, and some herbs, and further work that was supplied by a certain company whose motto is "Will it blend?"...........  Not for me that is!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/12/2011 07:20:27

Make your presents felt.
 

I tried wrapping Christmas presents, but I didn't have the gift.


Pudding the donkey before the cart can lead to confusion.


Pretty strong donkey! That's one way of pudding it.


Shepherd your words together in a most conducive manner.


Shepherds don't talk much because their work is past-oral.





Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/12/2011 09:00:38

I tried wrapping Christmas presents, but I didn't have the gift.

Shepherds don't talk much because their work is past-oral.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Flol%2F5.gif&hash=45470f1ff84bfb0b1c61e9d6109d521f) A couple of corkers there Demo! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fclapping%2F1.gif&hash=630ce9426a81d34b7f5a5ad07dbf2d06)

Do I need to explain them to others? No ëlaboration needed.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/12/2011 19:45:05

The last time an imp aired his views to me...


I knew the little guy was going to play a prank on me, because of my sense of imp portents.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 22/12/2011 20:03:19
Arte you sure it was a prank, or am I as thick as 2 short?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/12/2011 00:53:25

Are you sure it was a prank, or am I as thick as 2 short?


Maybe you are just thick and tired of it all?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/12/2011 01:13:09


.... he spilled a drink on my shirt and said, "this one is on me."


Shouldn't he have said, 'this one is on you'???


I consulted Emily Post on correct manners in situations such as this!

He should have said - in proper drawing room discussion style - "This one [joke] is on us".


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/12/2011 11:06:21
Well folks, I'm off for Xmas now.

Never mind, I'm sure someone will have bought me some soap-on-a-rope & depongarant! So I shouldn't be off for too long! Until I eat some brussells, that is, then I'll be off again. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-fart006.gif&hash=a5d11962b6f68d2f9816d6cb6a7546cb) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

HAVE HAPPY HOLIDAY EVERYBODY AND SALT & PEPER (condiments) OF THE SEASON.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/12/2011 21:49:25

                                         (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fhappy_hanukkah_merry_christmas_card-p137432518110292247zv2h8_400.jpg&hash=4e7b6633ea14a13f42f0594aff12268c)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 27/12/2011 23:16:13
Wealth an ewe ear isawn the whore izon.

Sew ha pino ear tuyoo wall!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/12/2011 03:17:39

Wealth an ewe ear isawn the whore izon.

Sew ha pino ear tuyoo wall!



Y than kyu so kindle ee fore tha tree mark!

Ewe arse oh so thaw t-fool!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/12/2011 03:31:39

Well folks, I'm off for Xmas now.



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwilderness-wally.com%2Fimages%2FOffHisRocker.gif&hash=9592ea48507fb2322fa01f30f13ab078)


I thought you were off year-round? (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.smileyvault.com%2Falbums%2FCBSA%2Fthumb_smileyvault-cute-big-smiley-animated-021.gif&hash=68413547f0ad25019b48a022db9b6c83)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/12/2011 03:35:26


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.picswalls.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F12%2FHappy-New-Year-2012-Wallpaper.jpg&hash=194c2db4ad3bae935c0ff7aa101cefc1)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/12/2011 18:27:29

Well folks, I'm off for Xmas now.



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwilderness-wally.com%2Fimages%2FOffHisRocker.gif&hash=9592ea48507fb2322fa01f30f13ab078)


I thought you were off year-round? (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.smileyvault.com%2Falbums%2FCBSA%2Fthumb_smileyvault-cute-big-smiley-animated-021.gif&hash=68413547f0ad25019b48a022db9b6c83)




I swear it was just my socks!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/12/2011 18:32:44


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.picswalls.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F12%2FHappy-New-Year-2012-Wallpaper.jpg&hash=194c2db4ad3bae935c0ff7aa101cefc1)


I'll second that.

See you all in 2012 folks.

2012 the year of the London Olympics.......... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Frude%2F1%2Fpissed.gif&hash=1a16c1dbd6f4b0f4c543a050d4db1041) (http://www.sherv.net/pissed-emoticon-66.html)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/01/2012 10:01:43

HAVE A HAPPY HOLIDAY EVERYBODY AND SALT & PEPPER (condiments) OF THE SEASON.


Yes, I'm also a firm believer in safe sex.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 01/01/2012 18:08:38
Demo, for you, safe sex is not taking those little blue pills a half hour before........... [:)]

Though of course then the whole thing is a whole lot of talk, and very small and lack of action - spirit is willing but he will not be spirited. Or more to it, up to the task at hand.

Or so I have been told, [;)] not exactly having watched "those kind" of home movies, kinda in the spirit of liking F1 a little, but not liking the clash of the cabbages.....
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/01/2012 05:10:19

...the clash of the cabbages.....


1.   If you plant the cabbage first, it will have a head start.

2.   Cabbage should be eaten raw. In fact, that's Cole's Law.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 02/01/2012 07:14:33
Cabbage, was he the cousin of Charles Babbage?

Did he not invent and build the computer, in the age where you would be hard pressed to get 2 screws that matched.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/01/2012 13:09:42




Today, January 10, is
Save The Eagle Day!

Its amazing how eagles catch their prey, they must be really talonted.

The eagles club formed an add hawk committee.

An eagle and a hawk had a difference of a pinion.

Nature reserves are an eagle opportunity employer.
 



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 11/01/2012 14:02:46
I had to show this to some friends, it gave them quite a buzz, hardly had they finished reading it when Perry grinned and Harry, er, well he went into raptorous fits of laughter, ho hoing, ha haing and haw hawking around on the floor.

I really must show it to Dame Anna Neagle. Griffon (given) the price of a ticket, can anyone write me a KITE (http://www.cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk/blog/post/Why-is-Kite-slang-for-cheque.aspx) for the bus fare?

I suppose I could go to church and ask God for the money....... 'Let os prey.

Gosh awkward for an atheist!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 11/01/2012 14:10:32
In a break from the puns, here's a malapropism:-

I went to the Doctor on the pretext of 'mens problems' on December 14th.

Doctor - Come in and sit down. What seems to be the trouble?
Me - Thank you Doc. First may I wish you a happy new year.
Doctor - Ah! Say no more. I know what your trouble is, you suffer from premature congratulations.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 12/01/2012 15:09:09
In a break from the puns, here's a malapropism:-

I went to the Doctor on the pretext of 'mens problems' on December 14th.

Doctor - Come in and sit down. What seems to be the trouble?
Me - Thank you Doc. First may I wish you a happy new year.
Doctor - Ah! Say no more. I know what your trouble is, you suffer from premature congratulations.

Just a min....... on second thoughts, that's not really a malapropism at all, is it?

The trouble is, (back to the puns) I don't usually know what I'm falcon talkin' about.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/01/2012 14:25:31



Can anyone write me a KITE (http://www.cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk/blog/post/Why-is-Kite-slang-for-cheque.aspx) for the bus fare?


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm3.static.flickr.com%2F2759%2F4462822162_a2425ee709_o.png&hash=e6fa7245985aee0918288accead3fed1)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/01/2012 14:31:24
In a break from the puns, here's a malapropism:-

I went to the Doctor on the pretext of 'mens problems' on December 14th.

Doctor - Come in and sit down. What seems to be the trouble?
Me - Thank you Doc. First may I wish you a happy new year.
Doctor - Ah! Say no more. I know what your trouble is, you suffer from premature congratulations.



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.rcgroups.net%2Fforums%2Fattachments%2F2%2F1%2F4%2F7%2F7%2F1%2Fa3234523-52-animated-laughing.gif&hash=ef291b0e8d52da4bcd28f822a80fbd54)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/01/2012 22:02:39





I don't usually know what I'm falcon talkin' about.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cvhsfalcons.com%2Fcms%2Flib6%2FCA01001107%2FCentricity%2FDomain%2F149%2FFalcon_Award_Logo_Resized.png&hash=377468c860a3f4d70e6723744e0e06a0)

Ok! Here's your falcon award, now quit buggin' me already! :)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 17/01/2012 00:26:53
I've been hunting for a falcon award.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/01/2012 01:33:54

I've been hunting for a falcon award.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F1058417-Royalty-Free-Vector-Clip-Art-Illustration-Of-A-Cartoon-Man-Laughing-Hysterically.jpg&hash=d64728941187e639e619359212cfd626)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/01/2012 13:23:05
Will you two stop falcon about. I'm begining to regret using that pun. You're just orking a load of old rubbish. Get back to the serious business of punning, or I'll send a bird of prey after the pair of you, and when raptors fly, terror soars on high.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/01/2012 20:00:09




Will you two stop falcon about. I'm begining to regret using that pun. You're just orking a load of old rubbish. Get back to the serious business of punning, or I'll send a bird of prey after the pair of you, and when raptors fly, terror soars on high.


Now look here, Don, just because a crow is a four-letter bird, that doesn't give you the right to call a baby bird novelist a fledgling author!



 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 19/01/2012 05:02:38
Gosh, I didn't mean to ruffle any feathers by beaking off, I just thought I'd fly the idea by you
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/01/2012 11:43:35

 a fledgling author!
 

I think that at your age, you author know better than to go into such a flight of fantasy.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/01/2012 11:47:38
....... I just thought I'd fly the idea by you

"I've just had an eye dear". Said King Harold to the Queen.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/01/2012 13:01:36
Good Grief Demo, you've clocked up 6666 posts. Does this make you one (or six) better than the devil?

demografx
Global Moderator
Neilep Level Member

Posts: 6666




 Reply #1733 on: 18/01/2012 20:00:09
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 22/01/2012 07:02:44
I think it means you'd have a devil of a time making that many posts.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/01/2012 19:12:37

Donnah, men should never swear at their hairpiece or they will have the devil toupée!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/01/2012 19:15:55

Good Grief Demo, you've clocked up 6666 posts. Does this make you one (or six) better than the devil?

demografx
Global Moderator
Neilep Level Member

Posts: 6666


Don, this is exactly why we can't let evil people have flutes.

Because then the terrorists woodwind.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/01/2012 19:18:58





....... I just thought I'd fly the idea by you


"I've just had an eye dear". Said King Harold to the Queen.


I stole someone else's idea for a stage drama.

Does that make me a playgiarist????
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/01/2012 19:35:57

 a fledgling author!
 

I think that at your age, you author know better than to go into such a flight of fantasy.


Oh, c'mon, Don! Do you really think I have any author choice???

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/01/2012 19:39:31




Gosh, I didn't mean to ruffle any feathers by beaking off, I just thought I'd fly the idea by you


Donnah, it's insane the way you collect large bird feathers.

It's just plume crazy.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 22/01/2012 22:23:05
Not for an old crow like me.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/01/2012 03:16:12

Not for an old crow like me.


We found a dead crow in our front yard but have yet to hear the caws of death.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 23/01/2012 03:49:41
I bet the caws is that the crow's spirit has flown.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/01/2012 07:25:37

I bet the caws is that the crow's spirit has flown.



Could be. I do know that the crow always carried some rum above its head, because it needed to lift its spirits.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/01/2012 08:00:45
What are you two raven on about now?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/01/2012 08:13:40

I stole someone else's idea for a stage drama.


Was it about some early seafares? You should have turned it into a comedy film; I can see the billboards now:

Staring Sid James, Kenneth Williams, Kenneth Connor, Babs Windsor, Joan Simms, Bernard Bresslaw and Charles Hawtrey.

A Peter Rodgers Production. Directed by Gerald Thomas

Carrion up the Crows Nest.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/01/2012 15:51:27



I stole someone else's idea for a stage drama.


Was it about some early seafares? You should have turned it into a comedy film; I can see the billboards now:

Starring Sid James, Kenneth Williams, Kenneth Connor, Babs Windsor, Joan Simms, Bernard Bresslaw and Charles Hawtrey.

A Peter Rodgers Production. Directed by Gerald Thomas

Carrion up the Crows Nest.



Unfortunately, this might not turn out too well for Don: I sincerely hope he realizes - that in all his enthusiasm for this Production - in Don's international traveling to promote said comedy film, the airlines will only allow him a limited number of carrion items per passenger!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/01/2012 09:12:35

 the airlines will only allow him a limited number of carrion items per passenger!


Sorry Demo, this was not easy to understand. Did you mean caryan?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/01/2012 22:07:30

the airlines will only allow him a limited number of carrion items per passenger!

Sorry Demo, this was not easy to understand. Did you mean caryan?


No. I meant it's not easy to stop cryin' !

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/01/2012 22:53:05



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fe%2Fe3%2FMacintosh_128k_transparency.png%2F220px-Macintosh_128k_transparency.png&hash=4da672edf6a9434e3ccde6e695023125)


January 25th, 2012 is
Macintosh Computer Day
"why oh why did I buy a PC instead???"
demo



My anesthesiologist's computer has an ethernet connection.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/01/2012 14:12:03
I recall, many moons ago, looking at the new fangled 'home computers' in a branch of Currys (other IT retailers also available, as are other foreign foods) and happily chomping on a piece of fruit.

A salesman asked "Have you got an Apple Mac?"

"No," I replied, "I've got a Conference Pear buddy."

Oh yes, I well remember my first computer, I still have it to this day, look:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.adamdorman.com%2F_images%2F3d_abacus.jpg&hash=36aa1b3de10dccbbd2697776b56be63c)

Sometimes the beads would fall off the top rail resulting in my issuing forth with expetives. Yes, I would ab a cus then start over again.


My anesthesiologist's computer has an ethernet connection.


Presumably, he has no trouble putting it into 'sleep mode'.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/01/2012 17:06:45

Oh yes, I well remember my first computer, I still have it to this day, look:

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.adamdorman.com%2F_images%2F3d_abacus.jpg&hash=36aa1b3de10dccbbd2697776b56be63c)

Sometimes the beads would fall off the top rail resulting in my issuing forth with expetives. Yes, I would ab a cus then start over again.


The bargain store promised me a free abacus with every purchase, but I wouldn't count on it.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/01/2012 17:11:36



My anesthesiologist's computer has an ethernet connection.


Presumably, he has no trouble putting it into 'sleep mode'.


No trouble with 'sleep mode', that is correct.

But I just can't bear it when the computer 'hibernates'!

I hope you don't feel shut down by my remarks.




Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Chemistry4me on 25/01/2012 20:51:32
I'd like to string along with this convo, and maybe take a byte or two out of it. Someone get me a cookie please?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/01/2012 02:04:16




Chem, after burning a cookie that I made for you, I felt very crummy.

And this reminds me of the times when I used to talk to her about computer hardware, I made my mother board.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/01/2012 10:15:37
I'd like to string along with this convo, and maybe take a byte or two out of it. Someone get me a cookie please?

But of course you may, or you can restart another. Ether way, welcome back to the mouse house of pun.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/01/2012 10:23:31

Chem, after burning a cookie that I made for you, I felt very crummy.


Ah well, that's the way the cookie crumbles.

...........I made my mother board.


That's nothing, I've spent my hole life boring people, you know the drill...... "Blah blah blah blah rabbit rabbit blah horizon horizon blah blah drone......" And after all that, I'd go on a bit more.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/01/2012 15:32:26




I know what you mean, Don. It reminds me of a carpenter friend who sat on his drill and was bored to tears.

And I've been to the dentist several times, so, yes, I certainly know the drill.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/01/2012 15:53:08

........It reminds me of a carpenter friend who sat on his drill and was bored to tears.


Oooo! Narsety.


And I've been to the dentist several times, so, yes, I certainly know the drill.


After a visit to the dentist, you'll find the biggest dent ist in your wallet!

'Say ah'! When I saw the bill I said AGHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/01/2012 16:20:03



I'd like to string along with this convo, and maybe take a byte or two out of it. Someone get me a cookie please?


Welcome back to the mouse house of pun.


Chemistry4me:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi40.tinypic.com%2F2mnrvx0.gif&hash=3114a85bef7ba15d50964e4d0631ded3)



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/01/2012 16:38:02




And I've been to the dentist several times, so, yes, I certainly know the drill.
After a visit to the dentist, you'll find the biggest dent ist in your wallet!

'Say ah'! When I saw the bill I said AGHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!


At the scene of the crime, my dentist's alibi was so full of holes, the police performed a cavity search.

A narsety one!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/01/2012 17:01:54

After a visit to the dentist, you'll find the biggest dent ist in your wallet!


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dental-focus.com%2Fmarketing%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F12%2Fdentistry_awards.jpg&hash=a8a121e7ed828933819233e24877ab14)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.instoneinc.com%2Fimages%2FCaptain_Corker.jpg&hash=001afa97173c05eaa7a982d0f0c293ca)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Chemistry4me on 26/01/2012 20:28:21
To tell the tooth, I don't know whether its worse to have a cavity in my wallet or to have all my wisdom removed!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/01/2012 21:23:05
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F1058376-Cartoon-Black-And-White-Outline-Design-Of-A-Man-Laughing-Hysterically-Poster-Art-Print.jpg&hash=ec7f05f5480801bfb26b13fe89908f2b)

Good one, Chem
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/01/2012 21:28:31

What a sight to see:

Ever see a dentist and manicurist fighting tooth and nail?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/01/2012 04:14:56
Today, January 27, 2012 is the last day of:
No Name-Calling Week
http://www.nonamecallingweek.org/cgi-bin/iowa/home.html

Words can hurt, both spoken, and also in writing.

For example, an insulting telegram is a barbed wire.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/01/2012 08:51:40
Quote from: REMOVED DUE TO 'NO NAME-CALLING WEEK'
REMOVED TO PROTECT THE IDENTITY OF THE POSTER.

Hmmm! Now what do I do? (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fclueless%2F1.gif&hash=ba6e884e2ac18d739c0e89967c82862b)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/01/2012 08:57:56

Chem, after burning a cookie that I made for you, I felt very crummy.

And this reminds me of the times when I used to talk to her about computer hardware, I made my mother board.


If I were to plagiarise the above and try to sell it here, would that be a fence post?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/01/2012 09:07:51
Today, January 27, 2012 is the last day of:
No Name-Calling Week
http://www.nonamecallingweek.org/cgi-bin/iowa/home.html

Words can hurt, both spoken, and also in writing.

For example, an insulting telegram is a barbed wire.




Why you.......... you.......... you,you, you!




Q. What do you call a man with sponge, jelly and custard in his ears?

A. Removed due to 'no name-calling week'.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/01/2012 18:14:13




Quote from: REMOVED DUE TO 'NO NAME-CALLING WEEK'
REMOVED TO PROTECT THE IDENTITY OF THE POSTER.

Hmmm! Now what do I do? (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fclueless%2F1.gif&hash=ba6e884e2ac18d739c0e89967c82862b)


Oh! Just curse that #%*£¥€%# bastard!!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 27/01/2012 19:15:35
Well, aside from scratching your less than hirsute pate in puzzlement, you offer polite comments on their probable abilities, proffer advice on to the best seating position and how best to achieve it, and of course, advice on determining who are their ancestors.

I do find it puzzling that I am often unable to pun effectively, perhaps that is a punnishment meted out to me by the fickle fingers of fate, or I am eternally powerless to puntificate effectively.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/01/2012 19:35:35

Chem, after burning a cookie that I made for you, I felt very crummy.

And this reminds me of the times when I used to talk to her about computer hardware, I made my mother board.


If I were to plagiarise the above and try to sell it here, would that be a fence post?


No. That would be instead a major offence, I think!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 27/01/2012 20:24:03
Would that not be a General of fence, as it is more likely to be a recurring theme in the run of things.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/01/2012 21:17:31





Q. What do you call a man with sponge, jelly and custard in his ears?

A. Removed due to 'no name-calling week'.



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F1058376-Cartoon-Black-And-White-Outline-Design-Of-A-Man-Laughing-Hysterically-Poster-Art-Print.jpg&hash=ec7f05f5480801bfb26b13fe89908f2b)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/01/2012 23:14:44


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.sodahead.com%2Fpolls%2F000773779%2Fpolls_angry_shouting_smiley_4450_311441_answer_5_xlarge.gif&hash=ad9ae61236a17a3d23823ba8e57b7086) DON!!!

Shame on you, you have failed to point out that January is International Creativity Month.(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.writemoneyinc.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F01%2Fcreativity-sign.gif&hash=3e1b5874e17eaa2d18641ed09d8ee41c)


I told my friend all about your creative writing class, and she said that she had a simile experience.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/01/2012 23:17:25



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dental-focus.com%2Fmarketing%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F12%2Fdentistry_awards.jpg&hash=a8a121e7ed828933819233e24877ab14)

Don, sorry about your PunAward, the punning thread budget only had enough in Treasury to get you 2010, not 2012.

By the way, next time I would recommend getting your cavity fixed by your regular dentist, and not by some guy who is just filling in.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Chemistry4me on 28/01/2012 04:49:37
There needs to be a new definition of 'pundit' as in "someone who offers advice on how to pun(ed) it" [;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Chemistry4me on 28/01/2012 04:54:43
Don, sorry about your PunAward, the punning thread budget only had enough in Treasury to get you 2010, not 2012.
It was acci-dental, the secretary spent all the money buying 1 molar Oral-B and Listerine
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/01/2012 05:56:52

Don, sorry about your PunAward, the punning thread budget only had enough in Treasury to get you 2010, not 2012.


It was acci-dental, the secretary spent all the money buying 1 molar Oral-B and Listerine


My wife and I started to date after she backed her car into mine.

We met by accident.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Chemistry4me on 29/01/2012 07:48:24
My wife and I started to date after she backed her car into mine.

We met by accident.

Did she say "gimme a break/brake" or "gimme a new Ford"?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/01/2012 12:32:32


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.sodahead.com%2Fpolls%2F000773779%2Fpolls_angry_shouting_smiley_4450_311441_answer_5_xlarge.gif&hash=ad9ae61236a17a3d23823ba8e57b7086) DON!!!

Shame on you, you have failed to point out that January is International Creativity Month.(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.writemoneyinc.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F01%2Fcreativity-sign.gif&hash=3e1b5874e17eaa2d18641ed09d8ee41c)


I told my friend all about your creative writing class, and she said that she had a simile experience.




Is that a fax?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/01/2012 12:34:50
My wife and I started to date after she backed her car into mine.

We met by accident.

Did she say "gimme a break/brake" or "gimme a new Ford"?

No, she said "Sorry I didn't mean to dent yours."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/01/2012 12:41:47
International Creativity Month eh?

Well, no problems on that score, I create havoc wherever I go!

Except on a ship, where I tend to create hammock wherever I go. If you cant't work that out, just sleep on it a while.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/01/2012 12:44:29
International Creativity Month eh?

Well, no problems on that score, I create havoc wherever I go!

Except on a ship, where I tend to create hammock wherever I go. If you cant't work that out, just sleep on it a while.

Ggood ggracious, I sssseem tto have developpped a ststuttter!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/01/2012 21:48:31




Ggood ggracious, I sssseem tto have developpped a ststuttter!



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia.knoxville.com%2Fmedia%2Fimg%2Fphotos%2F2010%2F09%2F02%2F090310smack2_t300.jpg&hash=da20bd5e565401ab51061359ba6438d8)

Translation: "Th-th-th-th-that's all f-f-f-folks!!"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/01/2012 22:05:10




My wife and I started to date after she backed her car into mine.

We met by accident.



Did she say "gimme a break/brake" or "gimme a new Ford"?


Chem, all I can say is that she and I don't like driving by and hanging out at the pancake house, that place can gimme the crepes!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/01/2012 22:12:13

No, she said "Sorry I didn't mean to dent yours."


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.1uponcancer.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F09%2Fisrael-125year-old-man-laughing-300x295.jpg&hash=b70c68fdc68fa82715803ad3d505c3f7)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/01/2012 22:26:36
fax.......simile........it took me an hour to get that! : - )   (slow Sunday)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 30/01/2012 06:04:02

My wife and I started to date after she backed her car into mine.

We met by accident.


Is your wife's name Robin?  Was she driving the Backmobile?  Or was she just hitting on you?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/01/2012 21:55:49


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F1058376-Cartoon-Black-And-White-Outline-Design-Of-A-Man-Laughing-Hysterically-Poster-Art-Print.jpg&hash=ec7f05f5480801bfb26b13fe89908f2b)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 30/01/2012 22:28:58
Nana nana nana nana,
Nana nana nana nana
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/01/2012 23:41:36


Just like a bat outta hell (going Westward), you thrill us with surprises!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 31/01/2012 01:38:08
Well I'm glad somebody is thrilled, because my man thinks I'm batty.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/01/2012 02:40:22

I would just ask him point blank: "What makes you think you are so much batter than me???"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 31/01/2012 02:47:26

I would just ask him point blank: "What makes you think you are so much batter than me???"
But I don't want to be flattened like a pancake.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/01/2012 09:14:45
.............But I don't want to be flattened like a pancake.

Ah ha! I spy an opportunity..........


We had no idea how to make a batter until we found a readymade pancake with the ingredients imprinted on it. I suppose you could say the Pancake taught us (http://www.zsl.org/zsl-london-zoo//animals/reptiles-and-fish/pancake-tortoise,79,AN.html).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/01/2012 10:10:41
To continue......

We made our pancakes when we were camping in a horsfield (http://www.tortoisetrust.org/articles/horsfield.html). We had pitched our tent close to the edge of the field, so we felt rather marginated (http://www.tortoise-protection-group.org.uk/site/90.asp). But Hermann (http://www.tortoise-protection-group.org.uk/site/88.asp) had picked a good site. 'E chipped (http://www.tortoisetrust.org/articles/toreport.html) away some rock to make a good flat surface for our camp. Then he scuted around collecting firewood to make a curry. He's a real star (http://www.tortoisetrust.org/articles/elegans.html) and is spurred (http://www.tortoisetrust.org/articles/elegans.html) on by the heat of the moment. While he was cooking, I acted as his 'go for' (http://www.gophertortoise.org/tortoise/facts.htm).

After we ate, I burst forth with a loud belch. Leonard looked at me in disgust. "Leo, pard (http://www.tortoise-protection-group.org.uk/site/123.asp)on me!" I exclaimed, but 'e stun (http://www.bio.davidson.edu/people/midorcas/research/Contribute/box%20turtle/boxinfo.htm)ned & box (http://www.bio.davidson.edu/people/midorcas/research/Contribute/box%20turtle/boxinfo.htm)ed me around the ear anyway.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/01/2012 14:57:09
Don, you're clearly a Chelonian expert. But isn't it hard for a depressed turtle to get out of his shell? Please don't snap at me if it's a silly question. Scientific minds wanna know!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 31/01/2012 15:43:06
That gives me a frog in my throat
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/01/2012 16:14:34
Well Demo, I could carry on apace, but I don’t want to plaster on these puns too thick.  I’m sure you would not object, but I don’t want to test  u do.

Did I mention that after we had had our fill, Sidney said he was tired, so I said, “Why don’t you have a nap  Sid (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anapsid).” But fearful of his wife’s tongue, he said, “Nah, best not, chel on ian a moan at me.” One day she’ll be the death of him, if not by nagging, by her cooking. Our meal had been very nice but for her peas (http://www.tortoisetrust.org/articles/herpeswarning.htm), which were like bullets. Boy did we all   sulc at ‘er (http://www.tortoisetrust.org/care/csulcata.html). She thought we couldn’t see her with her face pack on, but we spid ‘er (http://www.tortoisetrust.org/care/pyxis.html)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/01/2012 16:19:34
That gives me a frog in my throat

Well, it is a leap year.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/01/2012 17:24:51



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F1058376-Cartoon-Black-And-White-Outline-Design-Of-A-Man-Laughing-Hysterically-Poster-Art-Print.jpg&hash=ec7f05f5480801bfb26b13fe89908f2b)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/01/2012 17:27:10



JimBob:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi40.tinypic.com%2F2mnrvx0.gif&hash=3114a85bef7ba15d50964e4d0631ded3)



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/02/2012 01:47:54

Why don’t you have a nap  Sid (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anapsid).”


I'm not Sid, but I once napped in the doorway opening near the Temple.

I almost forgot that event!

But now I'm glad I don't have amniotesia.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/02/2012 10:03:09

I'm not Sid, but I once napped in the doorway opening near the Temple.


Tch tch, your always up to some sort of skullduggery or another.




But now I'm glad I don't have amniotesia.


Eggselent. I'm glad to know that, because for getting that, I would have to give you the sac and al bu meny people out of work soon enough, the way things are. It is a heavy yolk for some to bare and memn brainier than most are left on the scrap heap of life.

BTW, just to put my mind at rest, am knees yer part of the leg what bends?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/02/2012 10:15:50

I'm not Sid,


Sid want's to be sure of this, so he asked me if there was any way he could confirm the fact using his new smart phone. "Yes," I informed him, "you can probably download an app Sid. Go on, tri apSid. Look at this one, its a sign ap Sid."



Here endeth the plug for smart phones. I wouldn't have one if you paid me. Just what was wrong with two empty baked bean cans and a piece of string?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 01/02/2012 18:33:51
They weren't worth beans.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/02/2012 21:57:04

Beans, beans are good for your heart. The more you eat...
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/02/2012 22:13:00

Here endeth the plug for smart phones. I wouldn't have one if you paid me. Just what was wrong with two empty baked bean cans and a piece of string?


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thekidswindow.co.uk%2Fimages%2FCMScontent%2FImage%2F469369%7ETin-Can-and-String-Telephone-Posters.jpg&hash=6001cd70994c77a069e1468db6e86110)

This is for those of you(th) who do NOT remember those ANCIENT times of OLD.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/02/2012 22:15:52

Just to put my mind at rest, am knees yer part of the leg what bends?


Knees?? Bend??

Oh...

I don't know...

I forgot!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 02/02/2012 00:59:40
Oldtimer's disease makes you forget.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/02/2012 02:48:41
According to one old timer I saw, it's always 9:15.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/02/2012 15:32:34
I would like to patella story about my naval adventure in Scapula Flow trying catch a carpal, but I think we kneed to cap off this line of puns before we get a ribbing.

I'd better get down on said knees, vetebrae (for to pray).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/02/2012 18:29:35

...before we get a ribbing.


1.   What did the skeleton have for supper? Ribs.

2.    What did the skeleton say to the bartender? Gimme a beer and a mop, please.




Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 02/02/2012 19:59:47
The first skeleton must have been male, and the second, female.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/02/2012 00:30:22




(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F1058376-Cartoon-Black-And-White-Outline-Design-Of-A-Man-Laughing-Hysterically-Poster-Art-Print.jpg&hash=ec7f05f5480801bfb26b13fe89908f2b)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/02/2012 00:35:08
February is Fabulous Florida Strawberry Month
and also
International Hoof-care Month


Hoof you a care in the world??

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/02/2012 08:43:30

International Hoof-care Month


Ofk horse you had to bring that up. But its only far ears prepared to listen.

Now for a mixed Spoonerism/pun

I must be off at ecloven a leck this morning.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/02/2012 17:40:02

Now for a mixed Spoonerism/pun


When I swallowed the spoon I found that I couldn't stir.



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/02/2012 17:44:51

International Hoof-care Month


Ofk horse you had to bring that up.


Well, you wanted to buy the horse, so now it's time to pony up.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 04/02/2012 00:37:26
Aren't you old horse traders a bit long in the tooth for such unbridled performance?  Harness that energy and stick manely to the tail we started to tell instead of saddling us with this other nonsense or you might get shoed away.   
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/02/2012 01:22:15

Aren't you old horse traders a bit long in the tooth for such unbridled performance?  Harness that energy and stick manely to the tail we started to tell instead of saddling us with this other nonsense or you might get shoed away.   


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.creativeawards.co.uk%2Fshop%2Fimages%2Fcs001_horse.jpg&hash=2e8f462bc7ea4547e62c044f8a02e936)

For Donnah's unbridled performance!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/02/2012 01:50:57

.............But I don't want to be flattened like a pancake.


Ah ha! I spy an opportunity..........


We had no idea how to make a batter until we found a readymade pancake with the ingredients imprinted on it. I suppose you could say the Pancake taught us (http://www.zsl.org/zsl-london-zoo//animals/reptiles-and-fish/pancake-tortoise,79,AN.html).

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.doolbydoo.com%2Fstore%2Fimages%2FCloudBTwilightTurtle.jpg&hash=3f789e970bfc7e53d5d67fb0f1be3176)

Turtle Award For Don teaching us a batter way!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 04/02/2012 20:30:40

Ah ha! I spy an opportunity..........


We had no idea how to make a batter until we found a readymade pancake with the ingredients imprinted on it. I suppose you could say the Pancake taught us (http://www.zsl.org/zsl-london-zoo//animals/reptiles-and-fish/pancake-tortoise,79,AN.html).
Or, if said with a British accent, "the pancake tourght us".
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/02/2012 21:34:37
In Rome, an old tortoise named Myrtle
Was in prison for stealing a girdle.
Then the Vatican City
Agreed to have pity
The headlines read: “Pope Springs a Turtle!”
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 04/02/2012 22:05:03
If it weren't for the pope's pity, Myrtle would have had a slim chance.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/02/2012 00:37:43
My niece was telling me about a trip to the zoo with her grandparents and how she saw a very large turtle who approached them.

She exclaimed, "He was walking right tortoise!"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/02/2012 00:54:00

If it weren't for the pope's pity, Myrtle would have had a slim chance.


The pope, on his 2008 tour in the United States, skipped Mass.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 05/02/2012 04:36:06
Myrtle, the turtle,
the one who stole the girdle
had lost her hope
until the Pope
released her from the cell.
She cried "Thank you,
I will be true,
I was in a real snare,
now I'm out by a hare
so it's time to come out of my shell.

Yeah, okay, so they can't all be good.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/02/2012 00:00:23
Hope springs eternal!

(Pope springs a turtle)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 06/02/2012 05:15:35
Where is Hope Springs anyway, I can't find it on a map.  And I can't find a country named Eternal either.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/02/2012 07:11:42
No, No, Donnah! Eternal is a State!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/02/2012 07:15:58

Where is Hope Springs anyway, I can't find it on a map.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fen%2Fd%2Fdc%2FHope_springs_title.JPEG&hash=dad0c88be031addf2edfb51d899c14e1)

It's 2 hours from me! (really) Thanks for showing me!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 07/02/2012 06:49:55
That looks like Ireland.  Are you sure Eternal isn't a county (yes, I mean county, not country)?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/02/2012 08:51:19
That looks like Ireland. 


Having managed a Spoonerism pun, I shall now try my hand at an antonym pun.

Hope Springs eh!

Watch out for the leprechaun. He turn all things to despair. dis pair fall's (http://psd.tumblr.com/post/55451646/falls-of-eternal-despair-possibly-by-martin) into that category. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmultiply.com%2Fmu%2Fjulianisme%2Fimage%2F2%3Athemegraphics%2Fphotos%2F33%2F1200x120%2F27%2FHappyStPatDaySmileyLeprechauns1.gif%3Fet%3DbVzD1ylDPxZUmulficiB0Q%26amp%3Bnmid%3D201336847&hash=3dcd357759688be35ef49c8bf9961802)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/02/2012 17:07:05

That looks like Ireland.  Are you sure Eternal isn't a county (yes, I mean county, not country)?


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.makingwineisfun.com%2Fwine%2520corks.jpg&hash=5e660f09473a6efcd2045d03664fdeae)

You must mean Cork.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/02/2012 17:12:08

That looks like Ireland. 


Having managed a Spoonerism pun, I shall now try my hand at an antonym pun.

Hope Springs eh!

Watch out for the leprechaun. He turn all things to despair. dis pair fall's (http://psd.tumblr.com/post/55451646/falls-of-eternal-despair-possibly-by-martin) into that category. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmultiply.com%2Fmu%2Fjulianisme%2Fimage%2F2%3Athemegraphics%2Fphotos%2F33%2F1200x120%2F27%2FHappyStPatDaySmileyLeprechauns1.gif%3Fet%3DbVzD1ylDPxZUmulficiB0Q%26amp%3Bnmid%3D201336847&hash=3dcd357759688be35ef49c8bf9961802)



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcallplanets.com%2Fimages%2FAntonymDictionary.png&hash=38b21ac7a074fa73dab9c185d325a93b)

Don wins the Antonym Award!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/02/2012 12:41:27
Where are you finding all these awards? I had no idea they existed.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/02/2012 01:11:26




(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F1058376-Cartoon-Black-And-White-Outline-Design-Of-A-Man-Laughing-Hysterically-Poster-Art-Print.jpg&hash=ec7f05f5480801bfb26b13fe89908f2b)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/02/2012 01:30:40
February is also
Responsible Pet Owner's Month
http://www.bikersagainstanimalcruelty.org/RPOM.html

Don't dodge your responsibilities to your pets!

It could be a catastrophe if you do!

Fishing around for more money can wait!

=^..^=

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/02/2012 05:05:35
And don't give/flip your neighbor the bird!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/02/2012 05:21:18

Myrtle, the turtle,
the one who stole the girdle
had lost her hope
until the Pope
released her from the cell.
She cried "Thank you,
I will be true,
I was in a real snare,
now I'm out by a hare
so it's time to come out of my shell.



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Feffc8746.jpg&hash=3c84603ce3e03fdc6f84694c61254527)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fanimationsa2z.com%2Fattachments%2FImage%2Fturtle%2Fturtle12.gif&hash=7179ef6e3db01a2eaee1977e0f552f61)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/02/2012 05:40:54

Where are you finding all these awards? I had no idea they existed.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thenakedscientists.com%2Fforum%2Findex.php%3Faction%3Ddlattach%3Btopic%3D31700.0%3Battach%3D15992&hash=2f1305475dd944f83c74a34fcdb7d289)


I humbly accept! With tears in my eyes!

I prepared some off-the-cuff remarks:

"To all the Distinguished Members of the Academy....."

Ohnevermind, wrong Award Acceptance Speech....

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/02/2012 08:48:29
February is
Responsible Pet Owner's Month

Your dogged attention to annual events has paid off again.

Will those pets say grace before they tuck into breakfast.......... "For what we are about to receive........" For Spanish pets, would that translate to (here it comes, a Spanish pun) "Para que tu a punto de recibir......" And don't forget to scatter some food for the wild birds too. It doesn't cost much. I bought some wild bird seed and was pleasantly surprised when the shop keeper, Mr. Pratt, said "Here's jer bill".

I took a German Shepherd to the vet a few days ago. We went on a train which called at all stations to London Bridge.

We all love TNS, it has (wait for it...........) taught us many things.


Yippee! The trusty old 'tortoise' pun makes yet another appearance. I wold hate to keep them to myself, it would seem rather shellfish**

**Note the triple barrel pun.

Timmy the tortoise
went out and bought us
a lock for door to his house
not a padlock and chain
he did explain
but a real good mortice.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/02/2012 18:59:40

Para que tu a punto de recibir......


Careful!

Do you know the poop on parakeets?


...the shop keeper, Mr. Pratt


Shop keeper?

Hell no!

Mr. Pratt is a well known breeder of lab science animals.

So, he is definitely part of the rat race!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/02/2012 19:11:28

Timmy the tortoise
went out and bought us
a lock for door to his house
not a padlock and chain
he did explain
but a real good mortice.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thenakedscientists.com%2Fforum%2Findex.php%3Faction%3Ddlattach%3Btopic%3D31700.0%3Battach%3D15994&hash=f8236f42f6b1e666f963d2bfbb38e332)



This is terrific!

But your submission is a hare too late. Donnah walked off with The Turtle Poetry Award For February.

Stick your neck out earlier next time!


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.loose-id.com%2Fimages%2FBE_TheConsolationPrize_coverlg.jpg&hash=a997c4e8421cdac3d161bfba145435da)

But as a Consolation Prize, you get to choose The Lucky Lady who is to receive a kiss from you!

And of course, you can also choose anyone author than Barbara Elsborg!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.loose-id.com%2Fimages%2FBarbaraElsborg.jpg&hash=719983c53cf96239beb4e18bae353199)
Barbara Elsborg


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/02/2012 01:35:43
February 18, 2012 is
Cow Milked While Flying In An Airplane Day

You have an entire day to prepair for this. So, no rush.

But I'm sure your day will go fast.

Do we have to tip such a cow? A cow like this has never served me food. This one only serves milk.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Chemistry4me on 18/02/2012 09:23:30
But I'm sure your day will go fast.
Oh yes, I winged my way through it, time flies when you're doing nothing!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/02/2012 17:04:14
February 18, 2012 is
Cow Milked While Flying In An Airplane Day

Rather glad I missed out on this. It must play havoc with the rudder. I'll bet the pilot got into a bit of a flap. If the milking machine stops midflight, check the plug. At altitude, the fuse'll age very quickly.

Moo Mooo MOOOO Oi! Warm your hands before you grab my undercarriage!

Who's ever heard of cows flying anyway? (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fanimals%2F8.gif&hash=79671e67a72e1b3315d211f7ec70ff64)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/02/2012 22:40:56

But I'm sure your day will go fast.

Oh yes, I winged my way through it...


Me too, when I first got hold of that hang glider.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 19/02/2012 06:02:51
Wow, 75 pages of hamming it up with the cream of the crop!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/02/2012 11:27:05
Wow, 75 pages of hamming it up with the cream of the crop!

I do believe you have inadvertently used the letter “o” here, when you should have used the letter “a”.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/02/2012 14:46:14

Who's ever heard of cows flying anyway? (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fanimals%2F8.gif&hash=79671e67a72e1b3315d211f7ec70ff64)


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-HcByCBSV1PE%2FTdRltQu-ZoI%2FAAAAAAAAAdc%2FVKzrm7OEJ4w%2Fs1600%2FScreen%2Bshot%2B2011-05-18%2Bat%2B8.33.30%2BPM.png&hash=d145d04215ae80e7f16e66555ae6623c)


Don, please try to be just a little more patient.

They only need some help from us. Encouragement even.

But it's worth it: this is a high steaks game!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/02/2012 15:04:36


Wow, 75 pages of hamming it up with the cream of the crop!


Donnah, that reminds me of the ham who walked out of the hospital and said "I'm cured".

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 19/02/2012 15:08:36
My pig has a rash on his snout. Should I put some oinkment on it?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/02/2012 20:24:38
Good idea. But first, I would get rid of the fly in the oinkment.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 19/02/2012 20:27:53


Wow, 75 pages of hamming it up with the cream of the crop!


Donnah, that reminds me of the ham who walked out of the hospital and said "I'm cured".



Was he a smoker?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/02/2012 23:15:16




(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F1058376-Cartoon-Black-And-White-Outline-Design-Of-A-Man-Laughing-Hysterically-Poster-Art-Print.jpg&hash=ec7f05f5480801bfb26b13fe89908f2b)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/02/2012 10:38:59

Was he a smoker?


He claims not to be a smoker, but I think he's telling porkies.

Now, can we please get this thread bac on track. We're getting a bit berhind with the puns. Come on all, I'll race yer (rasher) to the next subject.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/02/2012 01:57:01

Now, can we please get this thread bac on track.


Fine. But then who will bring home the bacon?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 22/02/2012 02:31:47
Perhaps we need a razor-back here to cut this thread wide open.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 22/02/2012 07:03:44
Yeah, then no one can hog it.  Numerous comedic contributors keeps us in stitches.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/02/2012 09:11:35
I see JB & Donnah have cottoned on to my meaning. Sew a little seed and it shall bear fruit.

Should razor-back's be served in restaurants? And after eating would they be given the razor-bill? Would the culinary efforts of the chef raise our expectations and would he braise our beef? Would the menu display cut-throat prices?

Please don't get stroppy with me.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 23/02/2012 06:16:41
Yes, Don_1 this thread is piggy-backing off of your idea.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/02/2012 16:11:39
Just because I hog the sheets in bed doesn't necessarily mean that I'm all wrapped up in myself!






Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/02/2012 19:07:27



Geezer:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi40.tinypic.com%2F2mnrvx0.gif&hash=3114a85bef7ba15d50964e4d0631ded3)




Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/02/2012 03:19:58
This is
Justice For Animals Week
http://advocacy.britannica.com/blog/advocacy/2011/02/national-justice-for-animals-week/

Are you courting disaster by not giving your pet(s) competent legal representation?

The Honorable Justice Soxon can be reached for consultation at:
1-800-LET'S-SUE

This really warrants your attention.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Geezer on 24/02/2012 04:12:59
Now now, Demo. Don't get too carried away. You wouldn't want me to get all disgruntled?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/02/2012 07:39:03

Now now, Demo. Don't get too carried away. You wouldn't want me to get all disgruntled?



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwaltsloan.com%2FDisgruntled%2520Poster%2520%28Full%29.jpg&hash=0359298350bc4e23c74e574f9d6b9085)


Geezer! Don't do it!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/02/2012 07:40:58

If a pig loses it's voice is it disgruntled?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/02/2012 14:45:50
That's enough of the boaring puns. Trotter long to the sowth hall now.

Would an 'anticemitic' be one who hates concrete?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/02/2012 14:49:35
My antiemetic hates nausea.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/02/2012 15:06:51

That's enough of the boaring puns.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimage.shutterstock.com%2Fdisplay_pic_with_logo%2F673891%2F673891%2C1287084137%2C3%2Fstock-photo-illustration-of-pigs-cows-and-horses-63004750.jpg&hash=f93044a05a2901b1e38ba8a1a995536b)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ft0.gstatic.com%2Fimages%3Fq%3Dtbn%3AANd9GcQZcAKE0v9xfY2lYT1rjokWw4VSN-4Ju09a7z3P6Cz4diKCyrGwPTlhTNH8&hash=f8ee0af5c5b1699fd8861529b64ac4d2)

Ok. Then how about neigh-boar puns??

Friendly looking neigh-boars! (From the same neigh-boar-hood ofk horse)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/02/2012 23:03:12
Disclosure: "ofk horse" is a Don_1ism
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 24/02/2012 23:12:38
Neigh-boar; that's brilliant, you're milking this thread for every bit of humour.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/02/2012 23:22:08
It's the Milky.....(all together now..)...Way!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 26/02/2012 23:57:13
Where'd you hear that, on the bo-vine?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/02/2012 07:31:06
Donnah, yes, a cow once saved my life, so it was bovine intervention.

I've been tuned in to the bo-vine ever since!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/02/2012 07:50:32
Ooh, I bet you're wondering how I knew
About your plans to make me blue
With some other longhorn that you knew before.
Between the two of us
You know I love you heifer-more.

It took me by surprise I must say,
When I found out yesterday.
Don't you know that...
 
(Chorus:)

I heard it through the bo-vine
Not much longer would you be mine.
Oh I heard it through the bo-vine,
Oh and I'm just about to lose my mind.
Honey, honey yeah.
 
I know that a Hereford ain't supposed to cry,
But these tears I can't hold inside.
Losin' you would end my life you see,
'Cause you mean that much to me.

You could have told me yourself
That you love someone else.
Instead...
 
(Chorus)
 
People say believe half of what you see,
Son, and none of what you hear.
I can't help bein' confused
If it's true please tell me dear?
Do you plan to let me go
For the other Angus you loved before?
Don't you know...
 
(Chorus)
 
Honey Honey I know
That you're letting me go
I said, "I heard it through the bo-vine"
Heard it through the bo-vine......
 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/02/2012 12:07:42
Do I detect a wart on the words of an all time classic, or is just the bumbling of a failed lyicist?

I suppose you'll start horsing around with Roy Rogers 'A Four Legged Friend' next. Or will you go barking mad with the theme to 'Lassie'.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/02/2012 12:10:14
Can you cook a bovine in the ovine?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/02/2012 05:03:41
Surely you must mean "a bun in the oven"?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/02/2012 05:08:47
And no, I didn't call you Shirley.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/02/2012 08:36:02

Can you cook a bovine in the ovine?


Or did you mean kick, not cook?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/02/2012 18:13:48
Sharp intake of breath - Ooo, the very thought of a kick in the ovines is enough to make your eyes water.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/02/2012 23:46:00

Sharp intake of breath - Ooo, the very thought of a kick in the ovines is enough to make your eyes water.


Water wrong with your eyes? Orange Onion you making a large flock out of a little flocker?


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 29/02/2012 03:03:30
Is a flocker an animal that causes flockUlation?


What do you get when you cross-breed a donkey with and ONION?

from above ... make your eyes water. - above

--- an ass that will make you cry.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/02/2012 12:11:10
If you cross a donkey with can of lubricant, in outer space, would the result be asstroil?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/02/2012 13:36:02

What do you get when you cross-breed a donkey with an ONION?


A dungeon?

(Silent "g")

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/02/2012 18:03:55
Don, help, I can't find any asstroil Awards!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 29/02/2012 18:28:45
If you cross a crow with a donkey is that crass?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/02/2012 19:11:28

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.rcgroups.net%2Fforums%2Fattachments%2F2%2F1%2F4%2F7%2F7%2F1%2Fa3234523-52-animated-laughing.gif&hash=ef291b0e8d52da4bcd28f822a80fbd54)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/03/2012 02:19:16
Today is March 1. March is:
International Mirth Month

You think this is funny? It's not.

Don't people realize that the combination is NOT called "Frankincense and Mirth"?

I'm incensed about this!

And while we're on the subject, is there truly a difference between Heaven and Mirth?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/03/2012 02:20:42
And if you STILL think this is funny, try saying "Mirth Month" 30X. Rapidly!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/03/2012 10:49:28
Demo, what on mirth are you talking about?


In a Welsh mining town, after suckling for 10 minutes, a baby is said to have had its mirtha tid fill.

This unsubstantiated claim I have unmirthed needs to be investigated, so I suppose I mirth check up on it. It could just be something handed down in local mirthology.

I was going to buy a vintage car from a chap in the town until I discovered it was mirthless.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/03/2012 11:05:21
Don, help, I can't find any asstroil Awards!!!

I don't mind missing out on an award for first prize, just give me the consellation prize.

Its an asstroil plane.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/03/2012 12:21:14
Hehehe, an astral plane………

Which, by coincidence, brings me to this. I am going to heaven on Saturday.

‘Now what’s the old fool wittering on about?’ I hear you ask. ‘Has he finally cracked? Has he got religion? Is he off to Switzerland (http://www.dignitas.ch/index.php?lang=en) at the weekend?’

You didn’t ask! Oh well, I must be hearing things, anyway, I’m going to bore you with the answer.

In fact there is a clue in the fact that I am wittering (http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/british/witter?q=wittering#witter__3) (or alternatively and the real clue, Wittering (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:RAF_Wittering.jpg)).

Yes folks, I’m going up to the heavens in a plane.

‘Has he lost his marbles? Has he never flown before?’ I hear you ask. You didn’t ask! Tough, I’m going to answer again anyway.

No I have not lost my marbles, for to loose one’s marbles, one must have some in the first place. I have none. The only grey matter in my cranial cavity is dense fog. And yes, of course I’ve been up in a plane before, but this time I will be at the wheel, or joystick or whatever it is. I’m having a flying lesson.(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-excited001.gif&hash=8a90acae0f7ff56de89796e642cec91b) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

Now I would reveal the coordinates of my aerial escapade so that you could avoid the vicinity for safety sake, {(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fparanoid%2F2.gif&hash=b6c89a93fcdc26f07540419a36cc278d)YIKES! Look out, RUN!} but to do so might endanger my person. ‘Twould only take a word in the right ear by someone so inclined, to render me in danger of attack by the RAF, USAF, RCAF, RAAF, ALA, Luftwaffe or some such. While in my single engine Piper (or whatever) I would rather not be confronted by a Typhoon (http://www.eurofighter.com/) or F35 (http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=f+35&hl=en&sa=X&qscrl=1&nord=1&rlz=1T4ADRA_enGB335GB335&biw=1280&bih=610&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnsu&tbnid=4glxu1qBb8-n_M:&imgrefurl=http://www.defenseindustrydaily.com/F-35-Joint-Strike-Fighter-Events-Contracts-2009-2010-updated-05126/&docid=aCh8ZGDw5vKTTM&imgurl=http://media.defenseindustrydaily.com/images/AIR_F-35A_Frontal_ATK_lg.jpg&w=800&h=640&ei=n2hPT8zwFomO0AW0r5HICw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=441&vpy=169&dur=5376&hovh=201&hovw=251&tx=124&ty=112&sig=117592312917873941816&page=1&tbnh=113&tbnw=161&start=0&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:0).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/03/2012 15:25:03
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia.airspacemag.com%2Fimages%2Fupside-down.jpg&hash=459992d23f584df6e23d197233845cde)

Don! Stop! You can't get into Heaven upside down!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/03/2012 15:51:07

If you cross a donkey with can of lubricant, in outer space, would the result be asstroil?


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thenakedscientists.com%2Fforum%2Findex.php%3Faction%3Ddlattach%3Btopic%3D31700.0%3Battach%3D16068&hash=e3571ef227570ea7f1e3665c16bb2c66)

No fancy Award for Don; just an Astral Plain [sp] Award for Don_1.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/03/2012 17:41:58
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia.airspacemag.com%2Fimages%2Fupside-down.jpg&hash=459992d23f584df6e23d197233845cde)

Don! Stop! You can't get into Heaven upside down!

No, stop messin' about!

Ooer, I feel a little (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-sick029.gif&hash=fd400235e869ddd58950723ef01f44c2) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)




I hope the mechanic is better than Kenneth Williams, Tony Hancock had enough trouble with him in The Test Pilot. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUS9htHp580)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/03/2012 21:19:00

I am going to heaven on Saturday.


What the hell are you talking about???



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/03/2012 22:23:57
Does this mean I win an Antonym Award???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/03/2012 10:23:48
Indeed it does and she is winging her way to sunny California even now. Here is picture of her, so you won't miss her when you go to collect her from the airport.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mariannescostumehire.co.uk%2FPICS%2Fpanto%2Fdame2.JPG&hash=397c1e3b3c58bd6f18437fa59f5fde25)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/03/2012 10:33:25
Whoops! I seem to have made something of a faux pas, could have sworn you asked for an 'Auntie Min'.

Oh well, nevermind, I'm sure you'll find Auntie Minnie most agreeable.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/03/2012 15:41:44

Indeed it does and she is winging her way to sunny California even now. Here is picture of her, so you won't miss her when you go to collect her from the airport.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mariannescostumehire.co.uk%2FPICS%2Fpanto%2Fdame2.JPG&hash=397c1e3b3c58bd6f18437fa59f5fde25)


I can't wait!! I don't know how to THANK YOU, Don! (Don't worry I'll come up with something heheh!)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/03/2012 15:45:18

Whoops! I seem to have made something of a faux pas, could have sworn you asked for an 'Auntie Min'.

Oh well, nevermind, I'm sure you'll find Auntie Minnie most agreeable.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.rcgroups.net%2Fforums%2Fattachments%2F2%2F1%2F4%2F7%2F7%2F1%2Fa3234523-52-animated-laughing.gif&hash=ef291b0e8d52da4bcd28f822a80fbd54)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/03/2012 09:29:37
Its flying lesson day today......
Tally ho................ Up, up and away......... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.smileyvault.com%2Falbums%2Fmisc%2Fsmiley-vault-misc-076.gif&hash=9bbd2da89c93be96206018e6f5093027) (http://www.smileyvault.com/)


Off we go chaps ........ AGHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!


We apologise for the loss of transmission, normal (if it can be called 'normal') service may be resumed.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/03/2012 00:16:22
Whoops! I seem to have made something of a faux pas, could have sworn you asked for an 'Auntie Min'.

Oh well, nevermind, I'm sure you'll find Auntie Minnie most agreeable.

More agreeable than my Auntie Hissssstamine who is always either jealous or boo-ing someone.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/03/2012 00:18:57
Its flying lesson day today......
Tally ho................ Up, up and away......... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.smileyvault.com%2Falbums%2Fmisc%2Fsmiley-vault-misc-076.gif&hash=9bbd2da89c93be96206018e6f5093027) (http://www.smileyvault.com/)


Off we go chaps ........ AGHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!


We apologise for the loss of transmission, normal (if it can be called 'normal') service may be resumed.

Don? Hello? Are you still with us? Over and out!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/03/2012 05:20:19

It's flying lesson day today......


We have something in common.

When my last flight hit turbulence, all the other passengers and I went flying.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 04/03/2012 21:41:34
Hmmm, flying, Piper, astral plane.....is there smoke involved here too?  Maybe a few mushrooms?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/03/2012 22:27:30

Hmmm, flying, Piper, astral plane.....is there smoke involved here too?  Maybe a few mushrooms?


High just don't know, really, Donnah!

But I do know this, that when I was a short order cook while still in college, there was mushroom for improvement.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/03/2012 22:38:59

Good Grief Demo, you've clocked up 6666 posts. Does this make you one (or six) better than the devil?

demografx
Global Moderator
Neilep Level Member

Posts: 6666



I think it means you'd have a devil of a time making that many posts.


Oh no! This Friday, I will be 66! Is this a conspiracy????????????????????? Quick, someone start a new Science Thread!!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/03/2012 09:58:41
Don_1 to air traffic control, requesting permission to land.

Air traffic control to Don_1, you are cleared to land on runway 2. Make your final approach.

Yes folks, I done didded it!

When the instructor said we'd be using a Tomahawk, I got a little concerned. Maybe it would be a case of "Circle the planes, the Injuns are coming." Or perhaps I'd be sat astride a cruise missile.

Look:-


That's me up there in that thar airyplane.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/03/2012 10:06:07


Oh no! This Friday, I will be 66! Is this a conspiracy????????????????????? Quick, someone start a new Science Thread!!


Oh my gosh! 66? Strewth! Don't do headstands when you're 66, or you'll be 99 and may FLAKE (http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2010/8/23/1282573536509/99-Flake-ice-cream-006.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/wordofmouth/2010/aug/24/99-flake-ice-cream&h=276&w=460&sz=15&tbnid=0wyEnpJ28Rs1_M:&tbnh=72&tbnw=120&prev=/search%3Fq%3D99%2Bice%2Bcream%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=99+ice+cream&docid=CkQl3KXyDxOEeM&hl=en-GB&sa=X&ei=IZJUT_rcMMjS8gPPtaTwBQ&ved=0CEQQ9QEwBA&dur=4958) out.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/03/2012 10:12:32
Hmmm, flying, Piper, astral plane.....is there smoke involved here too?  Maybe a few mushrooms?

No, no, I swear I have not been at the fungas or any herbal stuff. I need no mind expanding substances. My mind expanded long ago and is now expended.

Well done, you have pushed Demo into making a 'mushroom' pun.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/03/2012 15:31:46

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thenakedscientists.com%2Fforum%2Findex.php%3Faction%3Ddlattach%3Btopic%3D31700.0%3Battach%3D16076%3Bimage&hash=008e2fe7904c7d049022524532115e0f)

That's me up there in that thar airyplane.


C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S, Don!!!!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/03/2012 15:46:43

I need no mind expanding substances. My mind expanded long ago and is now expended.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F1058417-Royalty-Free-Vector-Clip-Art-Illustration-Of-A-Cartoon-Man-Laughing-Hysterically.jpg&hash=d64728941187e639e619359212cfd626)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/03/2012 00:27:14
I requested permission for 'take off' from the control tower, but they said I should remain fully clothed during the flight.

"Bank to the left" said the instructor.
"Is it Barclays?" I retorted, "If it is, I'll drop this sick bag on Bob Diamond's head, that'll be one Bonus he wasn't reckoning on".


(I should point out that the flying school was Bonus Aviation, otherwise that last pun makes no sense. Not that I have a habit of making sense anyway).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 06/03/2012 01:10:11
Congratulations Don_1 on your flight with the birds!!!  Does this make you a bird brain?

I like your Bonus system for the banksters.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/03/2012 01:44:06

Congratulations Don_1 on your flight with the birds!!!  Does this make you a bird brain?


Propellor-head?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/03/2012 01:48:47

I requested permission for 'take off' from the control tower, but they said I should remain fully clothed during the flight.



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gossipcop.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F11%2FNaked-Man-Hayden-Panettiere1.jpg&hash=7c9aee71e99855345e33bc6d514b7df7)

Don_1 wins The Funny Nude Award!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/03/2012 06:45:59

I like your Bonus system for the banksters.


Are you implying that they're gangbankers??

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/03/2012 09:43:03

.........  Does this make you a bird brain?


What an insult! To birds......
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/03/2012 10:01:21
I put some magazines in an ovenproof dish and made a shortcrust pastry top for it. Cooked in a moderate oven for 45 mins.

I call it a Magpie.

Well you may ask, 'What is he crowing on about now?', and you might wonder if I have gone raven bonkers. I would ask my nieghbour, Jack, for his opinion om my mental state, but I am reluctant to knock on Jacksdoor since it is an awful shade of jayd, which makes me feel sick. I have said to him "Cor! Vus a sickly colour."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 07/03/2012 00:01:02
Oh, I know Jack!  (Uh, oh oh, I think I just insulted myself.) Is it the Jack who lives at four and twenty Blackbird Lane?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/03/2012 01:17:02
Q. Where does a blackbird go for a drink?

A.  To a crow bar.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 07/03/2012 02:33:44
Is that where you have a very slight shot at getting drunk and taking "advantage of" Sherill Crow?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/03/2012 04:33:01
Yes! In fact, Ms. Crow was once in the bar's telephone booth, but she had no money so she had to make a collect caw.



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/03/2012 07:39:28

.......  Does this make you a bird brain?


What an insult! To birds......


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.webweaver.nu%2Fclipart%2Fimg%2Fnature%2Fanimals%2Fchicken-egg.gif&hash=0821aea3f97bb9db870d318ebe215468)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/03/2012 07:58:14

Now I would reveal the coordinates of my aerial escapade so that you could avoid the vicinity for safety sake, {(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fparanoid%2F2.gif&hash=b6c89a93fcdc26f07540419a36cc278d)YIKES! Look out, RUN!}


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F_PZOsEmYgZyI%2FTIJHoJgbyQI%2FAAAAAAAAAk4%2FDS7lb9a2DZM%2Fs1600%2Ffamily-guy-peter-griffin7.jpg&hash=77679fbb4c53bf4b741244511c9baae9)

Don't wait! Find out NOW when Don_1 is scheduled to fly near YOU!

Brought to you severely by the International Flight Safety Warning Patrol
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/03/2012 16:01:13
Hehehe, that poor fella must have been at 520 04' 08.20"N x 00 37' 12.91"W on Saturday.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/03/2012 16:03:11
...... and now back to the puns.



It's raining and cold here, I don't know whether to wear my Macaw overcoat.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/03/2012 19:35:08
Ma cawf went away after I took some strong  cawf syrup.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/03/2012 20:01:03
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-UbbxGxzVzAA%2FTcQw6KWvwFI%2FAAAAAAAABdE%2FZ_sEqxDqs3s%2Fs400%2FScarlet%2BMacaw.jpg&hash=46e5f3f86dd7d1d5e7e2ef9cace0b7d0)

No pun. Just a pretty macaw pic!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/03/2012 20:02:24

It's raining and cold here, I don't know whether to wear my Macaw overcoat.


Oh caw'mon, Don, you know you just wanna wear it so you can show it off and caw crow about it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 08/03/2012 01:53:23
I thought you told me you had bought a MacIncaw
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/03/2012 05:56:55
Nice recall, JimBob! But if you carefully read my little footnote remark, I actually said that I should have bought a MacIncaw.

Instead - like a stubborn old fool who doesn't listen to his own sons who also recommend MacIncaution and MacIntuition - I bought an HP - NOTHING to crow about.

In fact, it's been the caws of soooooo much misery!


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fe%2Fe3%2FMacintosh_128k_transparency.png%2F220px-Macintosh_128k_transparency.png&hash=4da672edf6a9434e3ccde6e695023125)

January 25th, 2012 is
MacIncaw Computer Day
"why oh why did I buy a PC instead???"
demo


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/03/2012 08:26:30

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fe%2Fe3%2FMacintosh_128k_transparency.png%2F220px-Macintosh_128k_transparency.png&hash=4da672edf6a9434e3ccde6e695023125)

January 25th, 2012 is
MacIncaw Computer Day
"why oh why did I buy a PC instead???"
demo



Do the printers use only Mac ink or can they use 3rd party cartridges
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/03/2012 08:43:56
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-UbbxGxzVzAA%2FTcQw6KWvwFI%2FAAAAAAAABdE%2FZ_sEqxDqs3s%2Fs400%2FScarlet%2BMacaw.jpg&hash=46e5f3f86dd7d1d5e7e2ef9cace0b7d0)

No pun. Just a pretty macaw pic!

Beautiful, just beautiful!!! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-love008.gif&hash=a6645033536137576704b86c9c11a7ec) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

And how about these:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.surfbirds.com%2Fmedia%2Fgallery_photos%2F20070511051621.jpg&hash=58d1ac3c1a3d979c91c93b8be349acae)

No, its not a Photoshop job, these are Hyacinth Macaws.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/03/2012 22:08:01

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fe%2Fe3%2FMacintosh_128k_transparency.png%2F220px-Macintosh_128k_transparency.png&hash=4da672edf6a9434e3ccde6e695023125)

January 25th, 2012 is
MacIncaw Computer Day
"why oh why did I buy a PC instead???"
demo



Do the printers use only Mac ink or can they use 3rd party cartridges


MacPrinters are unwieldy.

Instead, I strongly urge and recommend: a BigMac® (see pic below), no fries, hold the cholesterol. And a Strawberry MacShake® - But a MacDeepFriedApplePie® is optional.

MacPaper for your MacPrinter should be selected carefully. Get double-ply so it can work double shift in the lavatory.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/03/2012 22:21:47
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F_U6ft4j99VTI%2FSLSi6FvYCKI%2FAAAAAAAAADU%2FcQ1fdE0yFGs%2Fs1600%2Fbig_mac.jpg&hash=ab00eca75d0f4cef284b1e31ae64a9a3)

Don't let this BigMac® steer you from your nutritional/dietetic goals.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/03/2012 02:15:41

And how about these:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.surfbirds.com%2Fmedia%2Fgallery_photos%2F20070511051621.jpg&hash=58d1ac3c1a3d979c91c93b8be349acae)

No, its not a Photoshop job, these are Hyacinth Macaws.


Lovely!

Lovely!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 09/03/2012 05:12:17
iMac, aw. 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/03/2012 06:14:42
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi278.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fkk100%2Fchuckles32257%2FAnimations%2FLaughing_goofy-1.gif&hash=aff7b978736850e7c4b97d9a968f0602)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/03/2012 13:59:06
iMac, aw. 

Demo seams to have found that awfuly funny, ore did he? I have a mined to remined him to observe the ground rules.
I believe that's halft of my duty, on the face of it.

Any deviation from the norm may result in a goo feeling in the gut.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/03/2012 21:23:14

iMac, aw.


Shouldn't that read, "iMac®, aw." ?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/03/2012 22:59:18

iMac, aw. 


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi278.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fkk100%2Fchuckles32257%2FAnimations%2FLaughing_goofy-1.gif&hash=aff7b978736850e7c4b97d9a968f0602)


iMac, aw. 


Demo seams to have found that awfuly funny, ore did he? I have a mined to remined him to observe the ground rules.
I believe that's halft of my duty, on the face of it.

Any deviation from the norm may result in a goo feeling in the gut.



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fuselessgraphics.com%2Fdoglol.gif&hash=5a39551073c7c1ca04692632813d76d7)

(Pooch is especially delighted to see his competitor, Goofy, goo feated)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/03/2012 14:06:28
Many of us do it, I do it regular, we have all goofed at times, but Walt Disnee*.

*Scott's accent required.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/03/2012 17:27:55
Goofy gives some people Disney* spells.

*American accent required
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/03/2012 00:11:01
March 12 - March 18, 2012 is:
International Brain Awareness Week

Are you aware that brawn is not the only thing in life?

Or is this a no-brainer?

Don't be in the rain too long. Umbrella time!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 11/03/2012 05:05:02
Hmmm, just how plastic is the brain? 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 11/03/2012 10:42:03
March 12 - March 18, 2012 is:
International Brain Awareness Week

Are you aware that brawn is not the only thing in life?

Or is this a no-brainer?

Don't be in the rain too long. Umbrella time!

I'm really not interested in what Brian is wearing.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 11/03/2012 10:58:28
JB should be able to come up with a few puns here, cor, Tex 'cmon, lobe a few puns at this one, don't be nervous.

Let us know when you've posted some, there's a bell, um, where is it now, oh yes, its over there, but only temporaly.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/03/2012 16:55:11

Hmmm, just how plastic is the brain? 


Hmmm.

Dunno.

But a plastic surgeon wants to put my nose to the grindstone.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/03/2012 17:01:57

I'm really not interested in what Brian is wearing.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.editorialphoto.com%2Fresources%2Fimg%2Fbrian_smith_ep_nudegolf_3.jpg&hash=a7e801b7f3c96a1d69b8177cff248f7b)

Which one are you and which one is Brian?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 12/03/2012 09:04:25

I'm really not interested in what Brian is wearing.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.editorialphoto.com%2Fresources%2Fimg%2Fbrian_smith_ep_nudegolf_3.jpg&hash=a7e801b7f3c96a1d69b8177cff248f7b)

Which one are you and which one is Brian?

I'm the one who grabbed the wrong end of his club and lost his balls. Are you the one trying to hide behind the flag pole?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/03/2012 21:06:58
                                                  (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcscc.edu%2FUpdate%2Fimages%2Flaughing.smileface2.gif&hash=9dc9ba7453eaf48e7396eee39d850d2f)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/03/2012 21:20:49
March 13, 2012 is:
Open An Umbrella Indoors Day

Is the weather bureau an umbrella organization?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/03/2012 08:43:28
March 13, 2012 is:
Open An Umbrella Indoors Day

Is the weather bureau an umbrella organization?

I get the feeling they don't use PC's, only Mac's.

News of unrest at the Met Office was described today as being nothing more than a storm in a tea cup. Threats of resignation by chief forecaster Sunny Jim (hailed as one of the best in the world) turned out to be a hoax. Mr Jim said he would continue his rain as chief forecaster and he didn't want such tittle-tattle to cloud his team's attention from looking for the next window of opportunity to any degree.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/03/2012 20:18:39
But Mr. Jim's rain disappeared in a hurry cain't you tell?

Protestors only had to smog him in the chest and simply take over! Easy!

Snow wonder the revolution was so mild.

Mr. Jim complained of a ligament that was torn? Much ado about nothing!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/03/2012 01:47:26

If you want to be a weather forecaster, you need a lot of degrees.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/03/2012 10:10:07

If you want to be a weather forecaster, you need a lot of degrees.

Maybe so, but an acumulus much knowledge can cloud the mind.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/03/2012 21:06:35

Cloud the mind? Not always. Didn't Cumulonimbus discover America in 1492?



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/03/2012 21:26:28

I'm the one who grabbed the wrong end of his club and lost his balls.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.anneofcarversville.com%2Fstorage%2Fbbbb-1.png%3F__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION%3D1269174900612&hash=80fa274fd977e0c1e9d767da51533cda)

And yes, The Brass Award goes to Don_1!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/03/2012 09:27:06

And yes, The Brass Award goes to Don_1!


Typical! Not gold, not silver, not even bronze! Just brass. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F_H_mfjCLS1K0%2FTPuXXJ9rjGI%2FAAAAAAAAHGA%2FaMbrXGIy_yw%2Fs200%2Fsad%252Bsmiley.gif&hash=b3a55096d289d32c1038c5446fec5926)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/03/2012 09:29:51

If you want to be a weather forecaster, you need a lot of degrees.

If you want to go far an hight, you certainly do.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/03/2012 16:44:41

And yes, The Brass Award goes to Don_1!


Typical! Not gold, not silver, not even bronze! Just brass.

 (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F_H_mfjCLS1K0%2FTPuXXJ9rjGI%2FAAAAAAAAHGA%2FaMbrXGIy_yw%2Fs200%2Fsad%252Bsmiley.gif&hash=b3a55096d289d32c1038c5446fec5926)


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.martincaryhorowitz.com%2Fimages%2FShields_and_Objects%2Ftwo_gold_balls.jpg&hash=802a9cf506929b8f9160bf66da8878bc)

Here already! Stop! You know how to get your weigh!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/03/2012 18:56:24

If you want to be a weather forecaster, you need a lot of degrees.


If you want to go far an hight, you certainly do.



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fuselessgraphics.com%2Fdoglol.gif&hash=5a39551073c7c1ca04692632813d76d7)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/03/2012 01:05:47

Good Grief Demo, you've clocked up 6666 posts. Does this make you one (or six) better than the devil?

demografx
Global Moderator
Neilep Level Member

Posts: 6666



I think it means you'd have a devil of a time making that many posts.


Oh no! This Friday, I will be 66! Is this a conspiracy????????????????????? Quick, someone start a new Science Thread!!


And today the $balance on one of my accounts was...666!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebooksmileys.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F12%2FSmileyShocked.png&hash=059ab601374d4865c8a6aadebd65a4aa)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/03/2012 06:10:31
March is:
Berries and Cherries Month
http://www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov/month/berries.html
http://www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov/month/cherry.html


Berry interesting month is March!

Cherish your fruit intake.

Straw/blue/black/rasp - it's all berry tasty!

Watch your posture; don't drupe

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/03/2012 10:58:42
March is:
Berries and Cherries Month

I presume you found this in some seedy newspaper under currant affairs. Probably berried away in the small print. How many times did you have to go fru it before you found this star? By the way, are you sure you have got the date right? The way I figure it, it should be in September and Anna would have agreed had she not been banned. I think I told you they had to ban Anna, her posts were getting too fruity. Its enough to give you the pip.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/03/2012 11:02:46
........
And today the $balance on one of my accounts was...666!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebooksmileys.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F12%2FSmileyShocked.png&hash=059ab601374d4865c8a6aadebd65a4aa)

I just thought I'd check, and low and behold, I have £6.66 in my pocket! Would you believe it?!?!?!

What??? You wouldn't believe it! I don't blame you, its a pack o' lies.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/03/2012 20:38:23
March is:
Berries and Cherries Month


I presume you found this in some seedy newspaper under currant affairs. Probably berried away in the small print. How many times did you have to go fru it before you found this star? By the way, are you sure you have got the date right? The way I figure it, it should be in September and Anna would have agreed had she not been banned. I think I told you they had to ban Anna, her posts were getting too fruity. Its enough to give you the pip.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F209.160.24.31%2Fds_img_direct.php%3Fi%3Dgarfani05a.gif%26amp%3Bt%3D8%26amp%3Bd%3Diklzadiyjf%26amp%3Bx%3D360%26amp%3By%3D480%26amp%3Bl1%3D472%26amp%3Bl2%3D924&hash=165da70cd9bddf4afc127d73e278afef)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/03/2012 20:39:40


...its a pack o' lies.


I tried to pack myself in a suitcase.

I could hardly contain myself.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/03/2012 09:03:53
I could have told you it would not suit you, not even for a brief moment and had you tried it over-night, you would probably have caught a nasty cold.

Attache!

Bless you. Now you need to flight off this infection. This is indeed a sad case. I shall ask Dr Justin to attend to you, justin case you need some pills.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/03/2012 21:28:59
Thank you for the Gesundheit - I had a pressing urge to sneeze on this train. I need something to read, I'm board. If I train myself, discipline will come. We only pass this way once.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 22/03/2012 23:36:55
Are we all uh, bored?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/03/2012 23:59:01

Are we all uh, bored?


The vegetable never taken aboard ship is a leek.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/03/2012 04:18:21
March 19 - March 25
Act Happy Week


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wildsoundmovies.com%2Fimages%2Fhappy_feet_animation.jpg&hash=64bccc30177def5a1327533f1b3a535b)

Actcept happyness EVERY week!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/03/2012 10:26:37
Does this mean I have to actcentuate any delusions of joy I may have? That even in my deepest, darkest hour of foreboding I must go around with a perpetual grin about my mush?

Oh woe, woe and thrice woe, that this sour faced old groat must perambulate the streets of doom with a gladiatorial skip in his step, despite the blissters on his feet. Will nobody joyn me in my hour of ha pe(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fmouthzippedshut%2F1.gif&hash=037747c4bf0ab86db4337375f3c71610)....................C - E - N - S - O - R - E - D.....................................

No, no, I really can't do that pun
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/03/2012 16:51:01
You must grin and bear it!

Happy hope reigns supreme!

Why not joyn in on all the fun?

Hippety hoppety happy to you!

Sadists cannot make you sad. Only you can.

Act happy.

Be happy.

Smile even though your heart is bypassed!



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/03/2012 17:17:16

You must grin and bear it!

How kind of you to offer. I'll have a double with tonic, ice and a slice of lemon.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/03/2012 19:30:58
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fblog.sfgate.com%2Fcmcginnis%2Fwp-content%2Fblogs.dir%2F2102%2Ffiles%2Fbritish-airways-first-food%2Fimg_0458.jpg&hash=3f0f7f63879827c0467c68614cd05fa1)

And a proper serving with nuts on the side.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F_ltObVTfAUAM%2FTNmGUKSV1fI%2FAAAAAAAAATU%2F32Tn73XcvZk%2Fs1600%2F2010-11-06%2B23.17.09.jpg&hash=f0c647e97c67ef40df0e53d138b4c5a2)

It's a sloe month.

But please don't fizzle out on us!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/03/2012 11:08:06

And a proper serving with nuts on the side.


Nuts on the side! Now there's a novelty. By what strange quark of evolution did that happen?

More to the point, vod kan you do with such a strange adaptation?

Do you get laughed at or maybe even beerated? Do they get in they way when you rummage through your pockets searching for those elusive sweets covered in fluff, the ones called brand 'A', brand 'X' or brand 'E'. Its a sham paying such a price for unprotected sweeties. But there's no sense in wineing at the makers, they just bay'le sweets should not be kept in your pocket'. I think its a con, yakking on about how you should & shouldn't keep your sweeties.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/03/2012 11:12:40
It has been suggested that I have a drink problem.

I do not.

I drink, I get drunk, I fall over, no problem. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-eatdrink048.gif&hash=1a29116b950efd292558fd33415610ec) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/03/2012 14:40:44

And a proper serving with nuts on the side.


Nuts on the side! Now there's a novelty. By what strange quark of evolution did that happen?

More to the point, vod kan you do with such a strange adaptation?

Do you get laughed at or maybe even beerated? Do they get in they way when you rummage through your pockets searching for those elusive sweets covered in fluff, the ones called brand 'A', brand 'X' or brand 'E'. Its a sham paying such a price for unprotected sweeties. But there's no sense in wineing at the makers, they just bay'le sweets should not be kept in your pocket'. I think its a con, yakking on about how you should & shouldn't keep your sweeties.



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.shaunnahall.com%2FSHAUNNA_UPDATES%2Faof%2Faof_logo.jpg&hash=82f5518b0a6551b1c69fc8ddd09cc325)

Don_1 is hereby inducted into The Alcohol Of Fame!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/03/2012 15:55:07

Don_1 is hereby inducted into The Alcohol Of Fame!!


How.... er.. howv ... ve.... ve... ferrrrry (*HIC*) ferrry ferrrruurry (*HIC*) kahnd o... o....... ovvvvv lew. Una (*HIC*) cuuuztuuuummmmmmmmmed azz ah am (*HIC*) tooooOOooo mahkking speeeeecheeees (*HIC*)

OHhhh ta ta ta bluuuuuuuudy heeel wiv it (*HIC*), leeets huv a dri dri driiiink (*HIC*) (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fdrinking%2F2.gif&hash=8973674950c1fe1630ba7ecd2283843c)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/03/2012 16:17:54
Alan, estranged brother of Olympic Gold medalist Seb Coe, is reported to be suffering from Tourette's syndrome.

Headline........ "Al Coe holler"

Titter ye not, it could have been true but for one flight problem. Can ye gueff what it might be?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/03/2012 20:56:14

Don_1 is hereby inducted into The Alcohol Of Fame!!


How.... er.. howv ... ve.... ve... ferrrrry (*HIC*) ferrry ferrrruurry (*HIC*) kahnd o... o....... ovvvvv lew. Una (*HIC*) cuuuztuuuummmmmmmmmed azz ah am (*HIC*) tooooOOooo mahkking speeeeecheeees (*HIC*)

OHhhh ta ta ta bluuuuuuuudy heeel wiv it (*HIC*), leeets huv a dri dri driiiink (*HIC*) (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fdrinking%2F2.gif&hash=8973674950c1fe1630ba7ecd2283843c)

Now THAT is the kind of Acceptance Speech we can all admonish admire!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/03/2012 21:00:58
Alan, estranged brother of Olympic Gold medalist Seb Coe, is reported to be suffering from Tourette's syndrome.

Headline........ "Al Coe holler"

Titter ye not, it could have been true but for one flight problem. Can ye gueff what it might be?


Don_1 keeps telling us that his drink is non-alcoholic, but where is the proof?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/03/2012 21:23:27

And a proper serving with nuts on the side.

Nuts on the side! Now there's a novelty. By what strange quark of evolution did that happen?

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing024.gif&hash=82e284d10ae53f61696718c244908fe3)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 25/03/2012 08:12:06
A liar who doesn't pass the bar can grin and beer it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/03/2012 02:09:32

A liar who doesn't pass the bar can grin and beer it.


I stole an invention and then told patent lies.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/03/2012 09:37:57
"I stole an invention and then told patent lies."

I hope you don't mind if I copy righting you have already done, but it took me a while to understand this, then it finally registered. Copying is not normally part of my trade, mark my words.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/03/2012 09:40:12
A liar who doesn't pass the bar can grin and beer it.

Especially when they are selling cheap bar grin booze.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/03/2012 02:33:01

A liar who doesn't pass the bar can grin and beer it.


Especially when they are selling cheap bar grin booze.


My wife is so thrifty she can smell a bar grin a mall* away.

*shopping centre
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 27/03/2012 02:56:24
Bar gin.  Bin there.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/03/2012 02:58:58
Done vat.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/03/2012 05:51:00

Award ceremony speech pre-edit:

Don_1 is hereby abduc...inducted into The Alcohol Of Fame!!


                           (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgifsoup.com%2Fwebroot%2Fanimatedgifs%2F754962_o.gif&hash=f60b46cd574315a7b174b21a9965e513)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/03/2012 07:52:18

"I stole an invention and then told patent lies."

I hope you don't mind if I copy righting you have already done, but it took me a while to understand this, then it finally registered. Copying is not normally part of my trade, mark my words.



Why this infringement on our (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.virginiabusinesslitigationlawyer.com%2FTrademark.jpg&hash=0bcf9ee85ed18d169a858eba8104aa89)ight to copy or plagiarize ideas with abandon?

Or is the idea now to say, "Oh, don't worry, I'll get around to it (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Funder30ceo.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F11%2FTrademark-Symbol_32.png.pagespeed.ce_.h_Xo14X3Ie.png&hash=6826017c02594e95eab9ad6830f5d1be)orrow. Or whenever."?


Let's work this out like gentlemen. Please have your barrister/lawyer call my lawyer at 1-800-LET'S-SUE*.


*Toll free - applies to Dominican Republic only. Elsewhere, outrageous, illegal, ultra-usurious charges apply. This cleverly disguised "toll free call" (haha) is not intended to be a blatant scam for my personal profit. Like my own little piggy bank. Oh no! It is merely there to help defray my legal expenses in a disgustingly litigious society such as ours. See you all in court!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/03/2012 09:10:43

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-eatdrink048.gif&hash=1a29116b950efd292558fd33415610ec)


The Alcohol Of Fame could use a mascot...hmmm...do you have his phone number at the bar?

Might he work for bar nuts?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/03/2012 10:44:23
Need his phone number eh? Don't worry, ah mond the case, just been pecan in the directory, but no luck there. Just in cash ew are worried, hey, zel time to find it.

Last I heard of him, his wife was having trouble with a particular undergarment. She said "Oh dear, my bra's ill." and made a bolt for the door.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/03/2012 01:30:47
Is that it in a nutshell? That's the nuttiest thing I ever heard. Bolt who am I to question your credentials?

Almond joying myself.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/03/2012 10:04:01
I used to like that diving couple, you may remember them, Almond & Michaela Denis.

Hmmm...... I seem to crossthreaded myself......... Soaked nuts anybody? (http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=43523.0)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/03/2012 16:33:34

Hmmm...... I seem to crossthreaded myself.........


It's contagious, I tell you!


An elderly gent walked into an ice cream parlour and struggled to the counter. "Give me a chocolate sundae please." He said to the girl serving. She asked him "Crushed nuts Grandpa?" He replied, "No, rheumatism."


Yeah, no rheum at the inn, either!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/03/2012 10:14:07
Joseph asked the inn keeper if he had a room for the night. "No," said the inn keeper, "all my rooms are taken." Joseph pleaded with inn keeper, "But my wife is pregnant and close to labour, she must have somewhere safe and warm to rest." "I haven't got a room spare." The inn keeper retorted.

Mary turned to Joseph and said "See, no rheum, ah toid you to book in advance, but would you? No. 'There'll be plenty of space' you said......(nag, nag, nag, nag)".

The inn keeper's son, Arthur, said "Pregnant eh? Desperate eh? Right, you can bed down in the stable for 3 shekels each." Joseph handed over 6 shekels and the inn keeper's son said, "There'll be another 3 shekels to pay if your wife has the baby, 'cause then there'll be 3 of you."

The inn keeper said "aths ma boy! Arthur, rit is down in the register."

Joseph complained "chor! la rent is high here."

Mary, tired and hungry, looked at the stable and said, "A sight for psor ias is that stable."

Later that night, the angel Enza descended from heaven and knocked on the stable window. Joseph openned the window and in flew Enza. Joseph said to Enza "I'm charging you a 7 shekel fee ver coming into our stable". Enza paid up and buggered off, shouting at Joseph, "Can sir justify these exorbitant charges?"

Mary gave birth to a baby boy and they named him after Grandpa Cohen ...........Manny.

Here the story endeth.


Apologies to Christians for poking fun at your beliefs. No malice intended.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/03/2012 23:41:53

Apologies to Christians for poking fun at your beliefs. No malice intended.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.personal.psu.edu%2Fjcc5304%2Fblogs%2Fla101H%2Fbonfire%2520frenzy.jpg&hash=ba8c540a55eec94df138263e7dd7ef59)

Don't worry, Don!

Just use that portable pocket cooling fan I sent you for Xmas!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/03/2012 09:45:43
YIKES!!! I'm off out 'a here...... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fscared%2F8.gif&hash=af72a65cf39ee2235a33ea00127fabf6)


 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/03/2012 15:55:42
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.animalclipart.net%2F_small%2F0511-0703-1210-3958.jpg&hash=af6f2082505222dd96a61c6b52fa974e)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/03/2012 22:57:01
Joseph asked the inn keeper if he had a room for the night. "No," said the inn keeper, "all my rooms are taken." Joseph pleaded with inn keeper, "But my wife is pregnant and close to labour, she must have somewhere safe and warm to rest." "I haven't got a room spare." The inn keeper retorted.

Mary turned to Joseph and said "See, no rheum, ah toid you to book in advance, but would you? No. 'There'll be plenty of space' you said......(nag, nag, nag, nag)".

The inn keeper's son, Arthur, said "Pregnant eh? Desperate eh? Right, you can bed down in the stable for 3 shekels each." Joseph handed over 6 shekels and the inn keeper's son said, "There'll be another 3 shekels to pay if your wife has the baby, 'cause then there'll be 3 of you."

The inn keeper said "aths ma boy! Arthur, rit is down in the register."

Joseph complained "chor! la rent is high here."

Mary, tired and hungry, looked at the stable and said, "A sight for psor ias is that stable."

Later that night, the angel Enza descended from heaven and knocked on the stable window. Joseph openned the window and in flew Enza. Joseph said to Enza "I'm charging you a 7 shekel fee ver coming into our stable". Enza paid up and buggered off, shouting at Joseph, "Can sir justify these exorbitant charges?"

Mary gave birth to a baby boy and they named him after Grandpa Cohen ...........Manny.

Here the story endeth.


Apologies to Christians for poking fun at your beliefs. No malice intended.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.medgadget.com%2Fimg%2Faward_lr.gif&hash=04f18a165ef1f593b159d2dccc78a843)

Don_1 is unstoppable! (And funny!)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/03/2012 22:57:44

April 1 is
April Fools  or All Fools Day


I just saw gasoline selling for one dollar (£0.63) a gallon, but then I realized it's just an April fuel's joke.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/04/2012 12:02:32

I just saw gasoline selling for one dollar (£0.63) a gallon, but then I realized it's just an April fuel's joke.


I had to get some petrol (gas), so I said to the attendant, "Fuel it up, 10ltrs."

He said, "Shell?"

"No!" Exclaimed I, "Unleaded!"

He said, after filling, "That'll be £67 please."

"WHAT!? I said 10 ltrs."

"Sorry, I thought you said fill it up."

"NO NO NO, you burk! FUEL it up, fuel!!!!"

"Its ok sir", said he, "April fool, I only put in 10 ltrs really."

But I had the last laugh, I paid the £67 he asked for. "Now who's the April fool?" said I.


April 1 is
April Fools  or All Fools Day


Its not my birthday today. Is it???

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/04/2012 17:53:57
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.animalclipart.net%2F_small%2F0511-0703-1210-3956.jpg&hash=855252e03765da1cea49f4cbb4c7dbbc)

You "had the last laugh"!!!! Haha!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 02/04/2012 02:01:58
Here in Canada the oil companies play April fuel's jokes on us all year 'round!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/04/2012 11:12:54

Here in Canada the oil companies play April fuel's jokes on us all year 'round!


Yes, it's a shame.

And Canadian oil executives are always using crude language.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/04/2012 11:26:45
Here in the UK, the government see's it as its duty to keep putting up fuel prices.

As I filled up my tank, chancellor George Osborne said "Well done, and you have been."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/04/2012 19:05:25
I think chancellor George Osborne also said, "Oil brook no opposition"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/04/2012 12:17:05
The 'Skull & Crossbones' flew menacingly from the middle mast of the approaching galleon.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi152.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fs189%2Ftesore%2FPirateEmoticon.gif&hash=a87eb9caae1bf9ee6d27812882b0777e)

"Avast me hearties", said the captain.
"A vast what?" retorted the 1st mate.
"They be after our cargo of ferrous metal." The Captain declared.
The crew looked on in horror and Botswain Higgs said, "You mean, they be Iron Pyrites?"
Ooo arrr.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: damocles on 03/04/2012 13:17:32
This one really happened:
There had been a few scandals involving ministers of one of our State Governments. The then premier went to one of his regular press conferences. After a few questions on more innocuous topics had been dealt with, a young reporter opened with
--"Mr Premier, you must be aware of allegations that have been made against ..."
He was interrupted with
--"Allegations? What allegations? Who are these allegators?"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/04/2012 15:44:07
--"Allegations? What allegations? Who are these allegators?"

I could see that one caiman a mile off.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/04/2012 15:50:40
This one really happened:
There had been a few scandals involving ministers of one of our State Governments. The then premier went to one of his regular press conferences. After a few questions on more innocuous topics had been dealt with, a young reporter opened with
--"Mr Premier, you must be aware of allegations that have been made against ..."
He was interrupted with
--"Allegations? What allegations? Who are these allegators?"

Did he go on to say 'I accept I am partly responsible, but I'm not going to gharial the blame.'

Were there crocodile tears in his eyes?

Did he say to the waitress "Give me a crocodile sandwich, and make it snappy." Did she serve the sandwich on nice clean crockery?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/04/2012 17:48:34

Allegations? What allegations? Who are these allegators?


Were there crocodile tears in his eyes?


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F441951-Royalty-Free-RF-Clip-Art-Illustration-Of-A-Cartoon-Bear-Laughing.jpg&hash=d84e2e3305a0e609d815c6aff152eae6)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/04/2012 01:15:12

Allegations? What allegations? Who are these allegators?


I could see that one caiman a mile off.


A mile off Cuba? (http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuban_crocodile)
     click ^ above
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/04/2012 11:01:50

Cuban crocodile


I see garments being torn by this creature if the washing is left out. That's your root problem here. Have Anna bring it in to keep it safe.


That's another pun gone up in smoke. Ah well! You win ston (http://www.ethos3.com/2012/03/lessons-from-winston-churchill/), you loose some.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.puff.com%2Fforums%2Fvb%2Fattachments%2Fgeneral-cigar-discussion%2F27732d1195581027-best-cigar-smiley-smiley-cigar.gif&hash=c9060b87fb717234d335d8b108c3fb41)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/04/2012 18:16:16

That's another pun gone up in smoke. Ah well! You win ston (http://www.ethos3.com/2012/03/lessons-from-winston-churchill/), you lose some.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.puff.com%2Fforums%2Fvb%2Fattachments%2Fgeneral-cigar-discussion%2F27732d1195581027-best-cigar-smiley-smiley-cigar.gif&hash=c9060b87fb717234d335d8b108c3fb41)


Don_1, you can't fool me. Cigars in a washroom are all smoke and mirrors.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/04/2012 12:25:24

Don_1, you can't fool me. Cigars are all smoke .......


Sounds like ce gar needs a service if its exhaust is all smoke.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/04/2012 12:35:15

Don_1, you can't fool me. Cigars in a washroom are all smoke and mirrors.


There wash room in the washroom until some fools started going in there to stick their cigars up their nasal passages. This resulted in the management putting up a huge sign with the legend 'Nose Moking', which got in everyones' way. I complained, saying "Ash a nuisance." But the boss, a Spaniard, said "Ash tres necessario."

(And reverting to the crocodilian puns...)

He went on to say "Itsa Hokay para usted, you don'ta hava to ghary all the ash anda the buttsa out ata the end ofa the day, so itsa cleana para la mañana."

"Mañana?" I questioned, "I think you'll find they are smoking ordinary cigars, nothing remotely 'herbal'".

Which reminds me of the time I nearly got into trouble with drug squad. All I said to the girl was "I want to marry you Anna."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/04/2012 16:27:01
Walter Raleigh brought cigars to England. Queen Elizabeth declared they were too big after, not realising they should be smoked, had eaten one. So they were made smaller and the cigar eat was born.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/04/2012 04:40:55

Which reminds me of the time I nearly got into trouble with drug squad.

All I said to the girl was "I want to marry you Anna."



It was even more dangerous for you than you think.

The drug squad was suspicious because Anna is a woman of such distinguished courage and ability, and she's widely admired and emulated for her brave deeds and noble qualities.

In short, a heroine!

Good thing the marriage was annulled.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/04/2012 05:05:28

Don_1, you can't fool me. Cigars are all smoke .......


Sounds like ce gar needs a service if its exhaust is all smoke.


Ce gas/petrol is all it needs.

So now I must find some celf service petrol/gas.

Ce gap is only good for hip jeans.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/04/2012 12:12:31

It was even more dangerous for you than you think.

The drug squad was suspicious because Anna is a woman of such distinguished courage and ability, and she's widely admired and emulated for her brave deeds and noble qualities.

In short, a heroine!


Oh L, S D last thing I expected.

I am fetter mineself to the ball and chain.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/04/2012 01:21:07
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia.myspacepimper.com%2Fcontent%2Fgif%2Fdogs%2Fdogs_215.gif&hash=a79ad6981434147def8a8da44994c802)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/04/2012 01:29:26
April is:
International Guitar Month
http://www.guitarsite.com/newsletters/000327/9.shtml

I'm not bragging, but soon after I join any band as a guitarist, I am instrumental.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 07/04/2012 02:51:05
This one really happened:
There had been a few scandals involving ministers of one of our State Governments. The then premier went to one of his regular press conferences. After a few questions on more innocuous topics had been dealt with, a young reporter opened with
--"Mr Premier, you must be aware of allegations that have been made against ..."
He was interrupted with
--"Allegations? What allegations? Who are these allegators?"
That's quite a tail.  The reporter must have been looking for a snappy story she could sink her teeth into.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/04/2012 09:34:11

The reporter must have been looking for a snappy story she could sink her teeth into.



Yes. Just like this reporter!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Feclecticsanonymous.files.wordpress.com%2F2007%2F05%2Freggie-news.jpg%3Fw%3D480&hash=ab696f9e39ca7cb97a2ca08d6371e58b)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/04/2012 19:47:28

There wash room in the washroom until some fools started going in there to stick their cigars up their nasal passages. This resulted in the management putting up a huge sign with the legend 'Nose Moking', which got in everyones' way. I complained, saying "Ash a nuisance." But the boss, a Spaniard, said "Ash tres necessario."



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2big2fall.files.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F09%2Fme-cigar-nose-corn-dog.jpg&hash=03093bc5af0b92ba26fd7cda5b8a0c29)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Flaughing%2Fsmiley.gif&hash=bfdf24c97c4e9263e374fc413c64700d)"NOSE MOKING"!!!!!!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fheaptags.info%2Fimg.php%3Ffl%3Dl5n406k413w244360636r2i5e49434l5d4j5o4h5x5k5w5n2a4l4h4v2e5q4x564r4o4p2i4g494l594w5q2y5a4a4539454z3q5l4l5&hash=b03723b58550f01007d96cef8b3584bd)     (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pakistanonyxmarble.com%2Fhandicrafts%2Fcigar-ashtrays%2Fmarble%2Fmarble-cigar-ashtrays-black-white-red-zebra-teakwood-marble-02.jpg&hash=cd272ddd7eb92ba2aee0bc8687cec4e7)

Don_1's poignant post is soooooooooo deserving of the INTERNATIONAL WRCNA! (Wash Room Cigar Nose Ashtray) Award Of 2012!

Congratulations, Don!
Demografx
Sr. WRCNA AwardFinder
Dated this 1st Day of April, Year 2012
(no fooling!)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/04/2012 19:50:24

"I want to marry you Anna."


She said no.

So now you want to ban Anna?

Is that truly the most fruitful way to proceed?

You just might benefit by cherrypicking from a number of different ways to go with your annarexic fixation.

There are many choices in a democracy: we do not live in annarchy.

Perhaps psychoannalysis can help here?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/04/2012 01:31:12

--"Allegations? What allegations? Who are these allegators?"


That's quite a tail.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fprofile.ak.fbcdn.net%2Fhprofile-ak-snc4%2F50332_231151362256_4213791_n.jpg&hash=1824f84bff948461bd4cf200c9051746)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/04/2012 13:07:12

I'm not bragging, but soon after I join any band as a guitarist, I am instrumental.


That's not the way I heard it. I am lead to believe that the rest of the group told you to guit ar of it and not to come back. I also understand some pretty bass language was used and some obtuse innuendo. They can be quite rye them boy bands.

I am no defender of them, in fact, I gib some of them as good as I get. My tongue can be so hot, it burns. Now, les pull together to get Demo into a boy band. I'm fed up with his fretting.

Ishmael Rabanowitz, the celebrated Israeli engineer, designed the worlds largest suspension bridge in the classical style. I said to him, "Wow, that bridge has quite a span Ishmael!"

See those puns, I just plec trum out of thin air.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/04/2012 13:12:07

Don_1's poignant post is soooooooooo deserving of the INTERNATIONAL WRCNA! (Wash Room Cigar Nose Ashtray) Award Of 2012!


I am touched; I think you may be too!

LOOK OUT, its the men in white coats!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/04/2012 13:15:23

There are many choices in a democracy: we do not live in annarchy.


I always thought that annarchy unlocked the door to her bedroom.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/04/2012 04:17:19
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.ehow.com%2Fimages%2Fa05%2F7n%2F5n%2Fways-make-friends-laugh-hysterically-800X800.jpg&hash=e37a5cf284ff7fd52640bafd36309bca)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/04/2012 04:24:41
April 9, 2012 is:
Dyngus Day
(First Monday after Easter)
http://www.dyngusdaybuffalo.com/whatisdyngusday.html


Did you hear about the frog who traced his family history to Warsaw?

He was a tad Polish.

And the frog wore a very nice polka-dotted shirt.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/04/2012 06:23:23

Walter Raleigh brought cigars to England. Queen Elizabeth declared they were too big after, not realising they should be smoked, had eaten one. So they were made smaller and the cigar eat was born.


I thought it was because of food and sex:

Queen Elizabeth always enjoyed a nice smoke (the smaller the better) after sex (the larger the better).

She indulged in said sex+smoking immediately after eating a hearty meal, thus the cigar ate was born.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/04/2012 15:29:01

See those puns, I just plec trum out of thin air.


Yes, just like me on the guitar, you certainly know how to pick 'em!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/04/2012 07:32:13

There are many choices in a democracy: we do not live in annarchy.


I always thought that annarchy unlocked the door to her bedroom.


Oh, let's not get annal about this...
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/04/2012 08:27:44

Dyngus Day


I don't know Gus and by the sound of it I wouldn't want to dyn with him, I'd rather eat alone.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/04/2012 08:29:55

There are many choices in a democracy: we do not live in annarchy.


I always thought that annarchy unlocked the door to her bedroom.

Oh, let's not get annal about this...

I see this post has been logged. Must be annalog.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/04/2012 23:37:47

Dyngus Day


I don't know Gus and by by the sound of it I wouldn't want to dyn with him, I'd rather eat alone.


Oh, that's right, you're waiting for Dynalo Day! It's sometime around Independence Day, I think.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 12/04/2012 08:39:09
Well, I suppose it would.

Looks like my statement has landed me in deep end, hence your reply.

To demonstrate that I am not stand-offish, I will join you for a short while for grilled sausage, steak, gammon, lamb chop, mushrooms, tomato (US = tomato) etc. In other words, we shall dyn a mixed grill, but we shall only dyn a moment.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/04/2012 01:22:39

We shall dyn a mixed grill, but we shall only dyn a moment.


Although Nobelists tend to have dyn a mite personalities, Niels was a Bohr, and Linus was a Pauling.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/04/2012 01:35:22

tomato (US = tomato)


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mylionking.com%2Fresources%2Fsite_images%2Fanimated_gif_033_kiara_laughing.gif&hash=c47c06f2d9667129cc6c64df52c0005a)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 13/04/2012 19:20:16

We shall dyn a mixed grill, but we shall only dyn a moment.


Although Nobelists tend to have dyn a mite personalities, Niels was a Bohr, and Linus was a Pauling.
Beats being a dyn nasty.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/04/2012 21:40:07

Beats being a dyn nasty.


Whilst visiting the Jurassic Museum, I was bitten before dynner and now I'm oh so sore!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 14/04/2012 06:23:36
Phone the authorities, try Cera Cops, and report the bite, even though nobody saur us.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/04/2012 12:27:50
Phone the authorities, try Cera Cops, and report the bite, even though nobody saur us.

Judging by the fact that Demo can still sit down OK, I don't think he was bitten on the us, I think it was his unmentionables. So while he doesn't have a saur ass he does have saur ol' pods!

I think the incident was observed, but they witnesses ran off in fright. Hardly surprising considering the ptera they saur.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/04/2012 19:08:18
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.scriptedlizard.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2005%2F08%2Fdino.jpg&hash=79c5e0b361df8bd6eb2955b1188db78d)

Our thread-pet, "Dyno", immediately saur this book's value.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/04/2012 20:41:58


Try Cera Cops


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpalaeo.gly.bris.ac.uk%2Fcommunication%2FBelton%2Fceratops.jpg&hash=f68d87725ad58ca952ab5927d5570794)

This Cera Cop was off duty, Donnah.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 15/04/2012 21:52:54
Phone the authorities, try Cera Cops, and report the bite, even though nobody saur us.

Judging by the fact that Demo can still sit down OK, I don't think he was bitten on the us, I think it was his unmentionables. So while he doesn't have a saur ass he does have saur ol' pods!

I think the incident was observed, but they witnesses ran off in fright. Hardly surprising considering the ptera they saur.
I think it's terrible Liz 'eard it.  Her extinct kicked in and she ran. She was pre-historical.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/04/2012 01:48:19
Pre-hysterical, too, I bet!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/04/2012 08:06:42

Demo can still sit down OK, I don't think he was bitten on the us...he doesn't have a saur ass.

The witnesses ran off in fright. Hardly surprising considering the ptera they saur.



You're making a gigantic mistake OTOH. The witnesses were frightened only when they saur us!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/04/2012 10:44:47
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.enchantedlearning.com%2Fggifs%2FGiganotosaurus_bw.GIF&hash=8fd85c937f659a36e60325a50a9bfdf5)

I hope this doesn't make our "Dyno" pet jealous.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/04/2012 11:19:04
Here's a quick one for you, yes, its a prontosaurus.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages4.wikia.nocookie.net%2F__cb20101124075231%2Fageofthedinosaurs%2Fimages%2Fc%2Fc2%2FBrontosaurus.gif&hash=280f0cdf5fba9ad01e7654709adc3320)

On a dig I found some bones I could not identify, so I asked Archie to get the dig team leader, Anna, to look at them. He used his cellphone to contact base. "Hello, who am I speaking to?" He asked, then said, "Oh its you Cynthia, hya Cynth, could you please Ptell Anna Don want's to see her."

Just then a piece of grit I had been trying to move became dislodged and flew into my eye, I cried out to Archie, "Archie, optrex quickly!"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/04/2012 04:22:55

Here's a quick one for you, yes, its a prontosaurus.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages4.wikia.nocookie.net%2F__cb20101124075231%2Fageofthedinosaurs%2Fimages%2Fc%2Fc2%2FBrontosaurus.gif&hash=280f0cdf5fba9ad01e7654709adc3320)


How do we know you're not just trying to pull a fast one on us??

Or am I being...prepostaurus?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 17/04/2012 08:41:19

Here's a quick one for you, yes, its a prontosaurus.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages4.wikia.nocookie.net%2F__cb20101124075231%2Fageofthedinosaurs%2Fimages%2Fc%2Fc2%2FBrontosaurus.gif&hash=280f0cdf5fba9ad01e7654709adc3320)


How do we know you're not just trying to pull a fast one on us??

Or am I being...prepostaurus?

 ;D hahahahahaha


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 17/04/2012 09:46:35

How do we know you're not just trying to pull a fast one on us??


As true, Don does try it on some times, but I can see you must have thought “Allo, saur us coming did you? Au but you lie so Don

Now I really don’t wish to offend anyone with my coarse language in response to this allegation but all I can say is **** you, I saur us (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fukuisaurus) coming a mile off.

Well, its true I tell you and I’ll get Anna to confirm it, I’ll just call her over. “Hey u Annia, I want you. They coel urus liars.”

I lok el e sia she is busy, so she can’t come right now, which is something of an irritator.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/04/2012 23:10:22

Now I really don'’t wish to offend anyone with my coarse language in response to this allegation but all I can say is **** you, I saur us (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fukuisaurus) coming a mile off.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Ffuku_luck_embroidered_hat-p233950298333365258zlci1_400.jpg&hash=18e11f12ef0bd2b0477df5b03470acb7)

The dinosaur you show is from Japan. But were you dressed for the occasion?? Did you wear a nice fuku hat??

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.edu-search.com%2Fuploads%2Ffuku.jpg&hash=fb1719545715d077379378ca496ba75f)

And, did you have enough to eat?? Otherwise you tend to distort things when famished.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/04/2012 11:47:03
I'm not eating anything in that restaurant if its in fukushima!

OK, so the Chinese have delicacy know as 100 year old eggs, but I don't fancy sushi made from this:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.prehistoric-wildlife.com%2Fimages%2Fr_nav_link_images%2Fspecies%2Ff%2Ffukuiraptor.jpg&hash=d12f2c6ae396fa876a7aa63515acef17)

I understand Dr Spooner would have taken up Kung Fu, but for his speech impediment. Just as well he didn't lecture on old English legends. Robin Hood wouldn't be a problem, nor Little John, but Friar Tuck.......
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/04/2012 16:09:23
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Femoticonhq.com%2Fimages%2FSimpsons%2Flisalaughing.gif&hash=2945b530829b2f75da471139a47af23e)

(She's visiting)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/04/2012 16:20:27

OK, so the Chinese have delicacy know as 100 year old eggs, but I don't fancy sushi made from this:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.prehistoric-wildlife.com%2Fimages%2Fr_nav_link_images%2Fspecies%2Ff%2Ffukuiraptor.jpg&hash=d12f2c6ae396fa876a7aa63515acef17)


What seems to be a problem in this?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/04/2012 16:26:56
I've got a bee in my sushi!

"WAITER, WAITER, wasabe doin' in my sushi?"

"Ah so! I not know sur, but I can see the da fly in your zoup is doin' the breast stoke."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/04/2012 17:29:35

I've got a bee in my sushi!

"WAITER, WAITER, wasabe doin' in my sushi?"

"Ah so! I not know sur, but I can see the da fly in your zoup is doin' the breast stoke."



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fanimated-gifs.org%2Fwp-content%2Fthemes%2Ffrugal%2Fgraphics%2Fcat%2Fdonald-duck%2Fdonald-duck-020.gif&hash=bc4744afd76dd6eebf041e0bdf613134)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/04/2012 18:23:21
April 20, 2012 is:
DNA Day!
http://www.genome.gov/10506367

Sigh. And here I thought we were finally dun with the DNAsaur pun. [Don_1, and Donnah, as you can see in the preceding, I'm working my way up oh-so-very-slowly to your respective high caliber levels of poetry].

Don't (dun) be saur about this.

Gee, ya know mebbe where can I get a good blood test done?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/04/2012 07:16:35

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.scriptedlizard.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2005%2F08%2Fdino.jpg&hash=79c5e0b361df8bd6eb2955b1188db78d)

Our thread-pet, "Dyno", immediately saur this book's value.


Sorry, I didn't get a forum vote. For a pet. Or the name "dyno"

So feel free to keep/replace Dyno!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/04/2012 09:07:09
April 20, 2012 is:
DNA Day!
http://www.genome.gov/10506367


DNA Day. 24 hrs of it. Just as Mr Pitney was 24hrs from Tulsa back in '63.

I wonder, is Gene home yet?

Ah! The 60's. I used to watch in awe as the birds flew across the sky, especially the Crows, Maggpies and Jays, and wished that just for a moment I could do likewise. Will I ever have a crow mo some day?

As I watched, a large Crow swooped down and struck a cat. The cat ran for cover and under a bush tended to his wound. He licks himself twice (double he licks) and stays out of sight of the bold Crow. A passing woman was so intent on watching this episode that she did not see the low branch of a young Horse Chestnut. Her head hit tree so hard, she was dazed.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/04/2012 09:23:18

Sorry, I didn't get a forum vote. For a pet. Or the name "dyno"

So feel free to keep/replace Dyno!


I nominate Pork Pie, one of my two Mediterranean Spur Thighed Tortoise (Testudo (graeca) graeca). She's only 9 years old, so I think she'll be able to fill the post for quite a while.

Here she is:
 [ Invalid Attachment ]

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/04/2012 15:00:46

Since this is a science forum, here's another, more scientificified, picture:



Punning isn't science - it's heart.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/04/2012 15:12:21

I nominate Pork Pie, one of my two Mediterranean Spur Thighed Tortoise (Testudo (graeca) graeca).
Here she is:
 [ Invalid Attachment ]


I second Pork Pie, but only if you clean up after her mess in the TNS porking lot.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/04/2012 16:17:18
April 20, 2012 is:
DNA Day!
http://www.genome.gov/10506367


DNA Day. 24 hrs of it. Just as Mr Pitney was 24hrs from Tulsa back in '63.

I wonder, is Gene home yet?

Ah! The 60's. I used to watch in awe as the birds flew across the sky, especially the Crows, Maggpies and Jays, and wished that just for a moment I could do likewise. Will I ever have a crow mo some day?

As I watched, a large Crow swooped down and struck a cat. The cat ran for cover and under a bush tended to his wound. He licks himself twice (double he licks) and stays out of sight of the bold Crow. A passing woman was so intent on watching this episode that she did not see the low branch of a young Horse Chestnut. Her head hit tree so hard, she was dazed.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.blc.arizona.edu%2Fmolecular_graphics%2Fdna_structure%2FDNA_Helix_SF.GIF&hash=8b62cb31816a229ddbdf35a665292adc)

For the 2nd Year in a row, let's have a hearty double round of applause for Don_1 (not Don_2), who once again walks away with The He-Licks-Himself-Twice Award!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/04/2012 00:12:26
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgifsoup.com%2Fwebroot%2Fanimatedgifs%2F754962_o.gif&hash=f60b46cd574315a7b174b21a9965e513)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/04/2012 16:50:58

Just as Mr Pitney was 24hrs from Tulsa back in '63.

I wonder, is Gene home yet?



Tulsa? Forget it. That town has no pity. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7BRraVMZzc&feature=youtube_gdata_player)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/04/2012 22:01:07
 
I changed my iPhone's name to Titanic.   

It's syncing now.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/04/2012 15:11:10

I changed my iPhone's name to Titanic.    

It's syncing now.

GOOD GRIEF! You have made me see the light: Its a sign, a warning, AN OMEN!!!

OH! Woe, woe and thrice woe! I have seen a sign of great foreboding, I have seen the end!  
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-scared002.gif&hash=3f1be0d7852de58fc8d6d61614f2ddd3) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

Sorry, pardon, I thought I'd done up my fly.

Run for your lives, the end is nigh!

Our nation shall be no more.

Oh! Woe, woe and thrice woe, the British Isles are about to sink beneath the waves!

In 1912 it was the Titanic, now in 2012 it will be the Olympics (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RMS_Olympic). (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.smileyvault.com%2Falbums%2Fuserpics%2F10404%2Fdrowning.gif&hash=cc40ea0fcc3b8d5ab799b5406cf2e027) (http://www.smileyvault.com/)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/04/2012 21:57:56
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.picgifs.com%2Fbaby-graphics%2Fbaby-graphics%2Flaughing%2Fbaby-graphics-laughing-126019.gif&hash=134f623079d5c06dfc8f160b9bf7e7a5)



(visiting)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/04/2012 22:06:33
Coming up fast!
April 25, 2012:
Another DNA Day !
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DNA_day

What are we to do??

Must we re-pun ourselves?

Again??

Francis Frick et al wrote up their famous finding on April 25, 1953. Dis was published in NAture Magazine, a prestigious science journal.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2F0%2F08%2FDna-split.png&hash=8257e55c9fb1d6fbdea8ae2aee0a431c)

       "Where's Waldo?"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/04/2012 10:33:07
WHAT??? Another DNA Day! This is blatant prejudice.

Stand up for the rites of RNA.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/04/2012 10:45:19

Must we re-pun ourselves?


Re current topic: I will not be held repunsible for any repeated matter.

Re current topic: I will not be held repunsible for any repeated matter.

Re IT I rate it quite high.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/04/2012 10:51:07

Must we re-pun   ourselves?


I take a grimm view of this idea.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/04/2012 16:23:30
I have developed a habit of drinking brake fluid, but I should be able to stop at any time.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/04/2012 18:56:12

WHAT??? Another DNA Day! This is blatant prejudice.

Stand up for the rites of RNA. [Don_1 means the NRA - National Rifle Assn.]


So now you think we'll solve this with rifles???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/04/2012 19:23:44

Must we re-pun ourselves?


Re current topic: I will not be held repunsible for any repeated matter.

Re current topic: I will not be held repunsible for any repeated matter.

Re IT I rate it quite high.

Punning is your repunsibility. Don't punnish others for it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/04/2012 19:30:32

Must we re-pun   ourselves?


I take a grimm view of this idea.


You mean grimm tails? Will we ever get away from dinosaurs, alligators, and crocodiles?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 24/04/2012 20:05:42
Quote
Will we ever get away from dinosaurs, alligators, and crocodiles? 

Not all the while you, Jimbob and Don are on here...  ;) :P
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/04/2012 00:17:27
Hmmm....
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/04/2012 00:49:04
Quote
Will we ever get away from dinosaurs, alligators, and crocodiles? 

Not all the while you, Jimbob and Don are on here...  ;) :P

I resemble that remark!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/04/2012 04:18:42
Quote
Will we ever get away from dinosaurs, alligators, and crocodiles?  

Not all the while you, Jimbob and Don are on here...  ;) :P


I resemble that remark!


My wife asked me to remove a picture from over the fireplace.

It was an off-the-wall remark.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/04/2012 08:18:17

You mean grimm tails? Will we ever get away from dinosaurs, alligators, and crocodiles?


Here's a rather grim tail:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.paleo.cc%2Fce%2Fstegosaurus.gif&hash=e1dc4c47afa2f8410ec809930ec9a026)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-fc%2Fdoh.gif&hash=32dfd8bb20d77484b04c8888fc8eaedf) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Doh! Its a Stegosaurus, so sorry chaps. I just di no what came over me.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/04/2012 08:38:29

My wife asked me to remove a picture from over the fireplace.

It was an off-the-wall remark.

Had she asked you to replace it with a whiteboard, that would have been truly remarkable
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Variola on 25/04/2012 08:58:58
Hmmm....

You have missed my intellectual input haven't you?  ;D
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/04/2012 20:08:12

Hmmm....


You have missed my intellectual input haven't you?  ;D


Variola, you leave me speechless.

And breathless.

Great balls of fire!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/04/2012 22:45:27

My wife asked me to remove a picture from over the fireplace.

It was an off-the-wall remark.



Had she asked you to replace it with a whiteboard, that would have been truly remarkable


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpersonal-computer-tutor.com%2Fabc2%2Fimages%2FLAUGHING%2520OUT%2520LOUD%252010-24-2001.gif&hash=403266f3bd8f5fba92e8343dea9af8bd)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/04/2012 22:53:14

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.paleo.cc%2Fce%2Fstegosaurus.gif&hash=e1dc4c47afa2f8410ec809930ec9a026)


Wotta beauty!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/04/2012 00:39:12

Will we ever get away from dinosaurs, alligators, and crocodiles?


Not all the while you, Jimbob and Don are on here...  ;) :P


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg2.imagesbn.com%2Fimages%2F102720000%2F102720522.jpg&hash=cf0c0978f36ab15336c991ad657f72cd)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/04/2012 01:24:35


I have developed a habit of drinking brake fluid, but I should be able to stop at any time.


A man of your caliper will never brake the habit.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/04/2012 10:41:35

A man of your caliper will never brake the habit.


American English version
What are you? Some sort of hood?

Queen's English version
What are you? Some sort of bonnet?

Hmmm, that doesn't work, does it. Gimme a brake, I'll pad out this post a little.

I asked my Jewish friend for his opinion. He looked me in the eye, then Manny folded his arms and said, "Consumption of that stuff wont do you any good. You'll soon become exhausted." I asked if he thought it might do me harm and he replied, "I di no, sores*** could develop on your lips which might be wheely uncomfortable."

I'm wheely clutching at straws here.

Queen's English version
His Wife, is a right old boot.

American English version
His wife is a right old trunk.

Now see how the American English version is so proboscistuous. Heaven nose why.

She wears some far out gear and had bought a pair of socks which were the wrong size for her, so was giving them to my wife. "Ah yes," I said, "diesel fitt 'er."


*** Who let the dinosaurs back in? I'll throttle him. Could have been that used car dealer Ed. Ed sel (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edsel)'s some right old lemons.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/04/2012 10:59:36
American English version

Its a gas, isn't it.

Queen's English version

Its a petrol, isn't it.


Please don't give me the bird (http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/give+the+bird) over that one.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Hadrian on 26/04/2012 11:32:52
How's the crack.... (Ireland fun)

what the quality of the drugs like man.......(USA)

 ^
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/04/2012 18:09:25

I'm wheely clutching at straws here.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdump.fm%2Favatars%2F20100903%2F1283537441197-dumpfm-jimmyjammer-LaughingCatAnimated.gif&hash=3cfa3cefc3c5e3a4e5fbea50c0850bc4)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/04/2012 18:13:55

How's the crack.... (Ireland fun)

what the quality of the drugs like man.......(USA)

 ^



On my last airline flight, I was curious about our climbing altitude, so I asked the pilot how high he would get.

The pilot replied, 'I don't do drugs.'
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/04/2012 20:36:00

A man of your caliper will never brake the habit.


American English version
What are you? Some sort of hood?

Queen's English version
What are you? Some sort of bonnet?

Hmmm, that doesn't work, does it. Gimme a brake, I'll pad out this post a little.

I asked my Jewish friend for his opinion. He looked me in the eye, then Manny folded his arms and said, "Consumption of that stuff wont do you any good. You'll soon become exhausted." I asked if he thought it might do me harm and he replied, "I di no, sores*** could develop on your lips which might be wheely uncomfortable."

I'm wheely clutching at straws here.

Queen's English version
His Wife, is a right old boot.

American English version
His wife is a right old trunk.

Now see how the American English version is so proboscistuous. Heaven nose why.

She wears some far out gear and had bought a pair of socks which were the wrong size for her, so was giving them to my wife. "Ah yes," I said, "diesel fitt 'er."


*** Who let the dinosaurs back in? I'll throttle him. Could have been that used car dealer Ed. Ed sel (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edsel)'s some right old lemons.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F75935f77.jpg&hash=3c5e521892c4e8834d3df76d9bef4b54)

I wheely think Don_1 auto have this Award!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/04/2012 20:38:15

Please don't give me the bird (http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/give+the+bird) over that one.


I'll just give you the crow.*

(Crow is a four-letter bird.)



*With hugs, of course




Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/04/2012 10:11:39

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F75935f77.jpg&hash=3c5e521892c4e8834d3df76d9bef4b54)

I wheely think Don_1 auto have this Award!

Gosh! Another award. Can TNS afFord it? Let's not dodge the issue, if their bank account is anything like mine, it will be devoid of funds most of the time and the banks charger lot for an overdraft. How often I look at my statement and I chrys ler account has got vaux hall in it!

Just this morning I had to forego my morning cuppa because the caddy lacks tea bags. Breakfast was non existant too, no bread, no rice. I missed my usual rolls & royce Its enough to drive you round the benz. But I just cit roen my rocking chair out on the porsche watching volks as they wag on by. Like the young mum from a few doors away taking her kiddy to school. I'm kind of fhond a her.

Aye see, cobras isn't it. But I must 'ang on to every hope for the future.

By the way, re nault money, I am not begging here. That would be a cardinal (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolseley_Motors) sin.

(Explanation of this dubious pun:
Cardinal = Cardinal Wolsey = Cardinal Wolseley = Wolseley Motors.
)

All rather austintacious isn't it. Mor risky than ever before. But I shall emerge triumphant, settle down and no more shall I be a rover.

Did I mention, the wife nearly bought me a BMW............

She bought me a BMX and said "On yer bike! (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=on%20your%20bike)"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/04/2012 10:22:44

Please don't give me the bird (http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/give+the+bird) over that one.


I'll just give you the crow.

(Crow is a four-letter bird.)


What are you raven on about?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/04/2012 10:26:39

.............. I asked the pilot how high he would get.

The pilot replied, 'I don't do drugs.'


That was hardly the altitude to take was it!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/04/2012 15:20:55

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F75935f77.jpg&hash=3c5e521892c4e8834d3df76d9bef4b54)

I wheely think Don_1 auto have this Award!

Gosh! Another award. Can TNS afFord it? Let's not dodge the issue, if their bank account is anything like mine, it will be devoid of funds most of the time and the banks charger lot for an overdraft. How often I look at my statement and I chrys ler account has got vaux hall in it!

Just this morning I had to forego my morning cuppa because the caddy lacks tea bags. Breakfast was non existant too, no bread, no rice. I missed my usual rolls & royce Its enough to drive you round the benz. But I just cit roen my rocking chair out on the porsche watching volks as they wag on by. Like the young mum from a few doors away taking her kiddy to school. I'm kind of fhond a her.

Aye see, cobras isn't it. But I must 'ang on to every hope for the future.

By the way, re nault money, I am not begging here. That would be a cardinal (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolseley_Motors) sin.

(Explanation of this dubious pun:
Cardinal = Cardinal Wolsey = Cardinal Wolseley = Wolseley Motors.
)

All rather austintacious isn't it. Mor risky than ever before. But I shall emerge triumphant, settle down and no more shall I be a rover.

Did I mention, the wife nearly bought me a BMW............

She bought me a BMX and said "On yer bike! (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=on%20your%20bike)"


Now T H I S  is a car punning post that will drive us all crazy. uh, I mean...to undreamed of heights!

VERY WELL DONE, DON_1!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/04/2012 15:21:49
WHAT??? Another DNA Day! This is blatant prejudice.

Stand up for the rites of RNA.


(https://simtk.org/templates/xml/images/graphics/rna_coarse2.gif)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flibrary.thinkquest.org%2F07aug%2F01207%2Fimages%2Fcontent%2Fhiv.jpg&hash=4627757bdba94834a0c01f11eb414e2f)

No clever remarks. Just pretty RNA pics.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/04/2012 15:56:13

.............. I asked the pilot how high he would get.
J
The pilot replied, 'I don't do drugs.'


That was hardly the altitude to take was it!


Don, I imagine that your difficult decision to become a pilot was up in the air for a while.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/04/2012 16:11:40

Gosh! Another award.

Can TNS afFord it?


No.

But TNS' CFO-comptroller is both religious and dyslexus, so he prays to his dog for your Car Award money.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/04/2012 02:29:14
It's April - we have only one more day to celebrate:
Car Care Month

Care for your car or suffer the carnsequences?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimgc.allpostersimages.com%2Fimages%2FP-473-488-90%2F27%2F2701%2FHYBND00Z%2Fposters%2Fnina-leen-teenagers-pushing-an-old-jalopy.jpg&hash=b10d35a74134845ee662218af5a03898)

(TNS' company car)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/04/2012 10:29:25
The wife and I always look after our car's chasis. Oh yes, car cares us.

Sue, the retired woman across the street, maintains her car on her retirement fund. Sue's pension just about covers the cost, then its exhausted. She rants and raves about it and its no use trying to silence 'er. I tried to tell her how Linda manages. "See Linda,
she's tearing up the road without problems, and oil be doing the same soon".

My auntie frees herself of such worries by using buses.

A new friend of President Eisenhower once went on record as saying, "My new mate Ike tyres of travel quickly.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/04/2012 10:56:17
The Queen and the Prince of Wales have nice cars.

Elizabeth II has a plush Rolls Royce and as for Chas, 'is choice is an Aston Martin.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/04/2012 11:03:22

.............. I asked the pilot how high he would get.
J
The pilot replied, 'I don't do drugs.'


That was hardly the altitude to take was it!


Don, I imagine that your difficult decision to become a pilot was up in the air for a while.


I was a tad fearful that someone might try to chute me down.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/04/2012 14:39:31
I didn't know you cared that much!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/04/2012 14:49:12
Tomorrow begins the month of May:
Carrots and Cauliflower Month
http://www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov/month/index.html


When vegetables want to talk to petunias, they use a cell phone and cauliflower.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/04/2012 14:54:10
My car rots when the battery's dead.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 01/05/2012 00:07:18
 [ Invalid Attachment ]


"NOW THATS WHAT I CALL A CLOSE SHAVE.." AND "QUITE A GRATING EXPERIENCE!...." LOL....TALK ABOUT...."I'M GONNA SKIN YOUR HIDE.....!!!" BETTER YET.. "SKINNED
ALIVE...." LOL...LOL... "Whoops, I forgot to ask you if you wanted that little spud grated or sliced?..." LOL..LOL
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/05/2012 00:51:21

Karen, is THAT what Don was worried about when he said...
I was a tad fearful that someone might try to chute me down.



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/05/2012 02:03:28

I was a tad fearful that someone might try to chute me down.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thenakedscientists.com%2Fforum%2Findex.php%3Faction%3Ddlattach%3Btopic%3D31700.0%3Battach%3D16333%3Bimage&hash=26bef594a09bc8513b62ca45d0a0dee3)

Don't chute me for this, but did you know that the chicken crossed the playground to get to the other slide?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/05/2012 10:00:44
[ Invalid Attachment ]

I think its grate great.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/05/2012 10:17:34
Tomorrow begins the month of May:
Carrots and Cauliflower Month
http://www.fruitsandveggiesmatter.gov/month/index.html

Does that mean we are in for another ear'ole bashing on the '5 a day' concept? We'll all end up with cauliflower ears.

Why aren't greens and parsnips included? This is yet another case of blatant prejudice.

Father Manny Cohen is the priest/rabbi of a bi-religious church/synagogue. He performs confessions, christenings, bar mitzvahs and circumcisions. He is affectionately known as Par Snips.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/05/2012 10:21:56
My car rots when the battery's dead.

Aye cid gest you top up the battery.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/05/2012 10:54:52
I had a German sausage for breakfast today, it was the wurst I have ever tasted. The wife waffled something about complaining to the butcher, but I said I didn't need her to egg me on. The butcher asked if I had grilled the sausage, I repied to her enquiry "No marm I laid it on yon frying pan, though there wasn't mush room, it cooked OK."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: daveman on 01/05/2012 13:56:40
One might think that sauce-age is made of meat, but it's also something you can put on potatoes or icecream.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/05/2012 15:06:18

Father Manny Cohen is the priest/rabbi of a bi-religious church/synagogue. He performs confessions, christenings, bar mitzvahs and circumcisions. He is affectionately known as Par Snips.


Father Cohen's assistant's salary is not much, but she makes up for it in tips.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/05/2012 16:08:42

Why aren't greens and parsnips included?

This is yet another case of blatant prejudice.


January is parsnips month.

But I can assure you that there is no pearjudice in this fruit/veggie monthly selection.

Be confident that the selection committee is pearfectly unbiased.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/05/2012 17:04:49
On this date, I have figured out that you have gone utterly bananas.

I don't want this post to get ugly, but I am passionate about fruit and treat it as the star of the table, pudding it above all else.

Stone me, I'm plum tuckered out.

Ooer, another Americanism.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/05/2012 23:10:28

I didn't need her to egg me on.


As we can all see, this is clearly an ego issue.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/05/2012 23:19:04
One might think that sauce-age is made of meat, but it's also something you can put on potatoes or icecream.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fefc09715.jpg&hash=c243fa6f4e4fd4e0b75fdc18decd5ffc)

I respectfully pass : - )

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/05/2012 03:45:19

On this date, I have figured out that you have gone utterly bananas.


Why? Don't I help to regularly prune this thread and throw out a pit or two?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/05/2012 10:23:35
One might think that sauce-age is made of meat, but it's also something you can put on potatoes or icecream.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fefc09715.jpg&hash=c243fa6f4e4fd4e0b75fdc18decd5ffc)

I respectfully pass : - )



Do my eyes decieve me or are there peas on that cone?

"M - u - m, M - u - u - m, Mum, Demo's put pea on my ice cream."

"WHAT!!! Demo's pee'ed on your ice cream? Wait 'til I get my hands on him!"



Actually, it looks like a genuine Heston Blumenthal (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heston_Blumenthal) concoction. He's a blumen nut case.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/05/2012 10:45:02

On this date, I have figured out that you have gone utterly bananas.


Why? Don't I help to regularly prune this thread and throw out a pit or two?

On balance, yes, I suppose you could say so.

As a reward, here's a clip of Prunella Scales (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHwkCFLi0lQ)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/05/2012 11:30:05
It would appear that May is National Egg Month in the USA.

I do hope you all have a cracking good time. All bu men should scramble words to make funny yolks & puns. It should be easy over*** there to do this. So keep your sunny side up and make merry, but please don't poach any material.

Shell out a few dollars on fancy dress and come let the fun begin. Let your nest egg of humour be openned wide.

Perhaps it might be an idea to cook your eggon the Ronay side, but don't let it run all down your front when you eat it.


***Yet another Americanism. I really must yank myself back into British idiotms.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/05/2012 15:12:49

Today is Demo Pear Day.

No biased selection here!

No ego involved!


Reminder to self: destroy all evidence of this post below ---
This is yet another case of blatant prejudice.
But I can assure you that there is no pearjudice in this fruit/veggie monthly selection.
Be confident that the selection committee is pearfectly unbiased.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/05/2012 15:20:25

It looks like a genuine Heston Blumenthal (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heston_Blumenthal) concoction. He's a blumen nut case.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fe%2Fe5%2FThe_Fat_Duck%252C_High_Street%252C_Bray_-_geograph.org.uk_-_1271175.jpg&hash=058950eb9abf4713ff201f33f5b773ee)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2F9%2F97%2FHestonregentspark.jpg&hash=d9857de5e0ad0d38a97711ab7c27c58d)
Blumenthal's restaurant                                        Blumenthal levitating veggies

You're right. Anyone who calls a house a restaurant and levitates veggies must be a blumen nut case.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/05/2012 15:34:53

As a reward, here's a clip of Prunella Scales (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHwkCFLi0lQ)


How am I supposed to understand this? It's all with British accents! Will Google-Translate work?????

(I hope TNS doesn't cut my pay for these remarks)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/05/2012 15:43:34
It would appear that May is National Egg Month in the USA.

I do hope you all have a cracking good time. All bu men should scramble words to make funny yolks & puns. It should be easy over*** there to do this. So keep your sunny side up and make merry, but please don't poach any material.

Shell out a few dollars on fancy dress and come let the fun begin. Let your nest egg of humour be openned wide.

Perhaps it might be an idea to cook your eggon the Ronay side, but don't let it run all down your front when you eat it.


***Yet another Americanism. I really must yank myself back into British idiotms.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmith09.wikis.birmingham.k12.mi.us%2Ffile%2Fview%2FGood-Egg-Award_1.jpg%2F139523597%2FGood-Egg-Award_1.jpg&hash=db3a62c1a29979965f7d434e491cc739)

I don't want egg on my face for neglecting yet another Award to Don~1.

TNS' CFO will be eggsactly furious about this!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/05/2012 17:41:31
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FUntitled.png&hash=4832837c113409df1f7781a74e6046b6)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/05/2012 04:39:03

It would appear that May is National Egg Month in the USA.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.sodahead.com%2Fpolls%2F000773779%2Fpolls_angry_shouting_smiley_4450_311441_answer_5_xlarge.gif&hash=ad9ae61236a17a3d23823ba8e57b7086) DON_1!

Shame on you, you have failed to point out that National Egg Month has a LINK associated with this major disturbance observance.
http://www.aeb.org/

As per the TNS Punning Thread Anniversary Rule 117.003Ar9, "Links must be shown whether they are relevant or not."

Don, please try to think like a blacksmith, who is used to forging strong links with his customers.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/05/2012 09:42:57

As a reward, here's a clip of Prunella Scales (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHwkCFLi0lQ)


How am I supposed to understand this? It's all with British accents! Will Google-Translate work?????

(I hope TNS doesn't cut my pay for these remarks)

If you had trouble with the accent in that clip, you'll be dumbfounded by Mr. Chomondley-Warner (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlv3B1078PA).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/05/2012 09:56:54
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmith09.wikis.birmingham.k12.mi.us%2Ffile%2Fview%2FGood-Egg-Award_1.jpg%2F139523597%2FGood-Egg-Award_1.jpg&hash=db3a62c1a29979965f7d434e491cc739)

I don't want egg on my face for neglecting yet another Award to Don~1.

TNS' CFO will be eggsactly furious about this!

What an eggsquisite award. I am so eggcited you could say I am in eggstacy. I have not felt such eggcileration for an eggstremely long time. I must now sit down to regain my egguilibrium.

But really, these eggy puns are eggceedingly easy, requiring little egguinuity. They can be found in their millions from the poles to the egguator*.

*Restaurant Personnel who serve eggs.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/05/2012 10:16:45


Shame on you, you have failed to point out that National Egg Month has a LINK associated with this major disturbance observance.
http://www.aeb.org/

As per the TNS Punning Thread Anniversary Rule 117.003Ar9, "Links must be shown whether they are relevant or not."

Don, please try to think like a blacksmith, who is used to forging strong links with his customers.


My most humble apologies for this omission. I shall, in future, do as you suggest, think like a blacksmith an' vil in all chains with links where appropriate.

I thank you for your dogged (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Hammer_dog-head.jpg) devotion to clawing me back into line with the policies of this punning club of which I hammer pein a member so long, I should know better.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/05/2012 16:35:03
I hope you noticed the gold - no brass this time.

Otherwise I'm sure you would be complaining to TNS' Award Committee that I have once again not treated you pupperly.


I thank you for your dogged (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Hammer_dog-head.jpg) devotion.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/05/2012 20:09:34

How am I supposed to understand this? It's all with British accents! Will Google-Translate work?????

(I hope TNS doesn't cut my pay for these remarks)



If you had trouble with the accent in that clip, you'll be dumbfounded by  Mr. Chomondley-Warner (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlv3B1078PA).


You keep this up and that will force me to subject you to torture: unintelligible (US) Southern drawl!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wK7CIvZ4PDI&feature=related


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/05/2012 20:17:07

I hammer pein a member so long, I should know better.


You mean that you have hampered our members? Tsk, tsk, I'm sure there's a TNS ordinance/rule somewhere prohibiting this.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/05/2012 02:11:49

Father Manny Cohen is the priest/rabbi of a bi-religious church/synagogue. He performs confessions, christenings, bar mitzvahs and circumcisions. He is affectionately known as Par Snips.



His friend, Father Manny Fold, is a real cartoon character. You'd like him.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/05/2012 04:04:04

I shall...think like a blacksmith an' vil in all chains with links where appropriate.

I thank you for your dogged (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Hammer_dog-head.jpg) devotion to clawing me back into line with the policies of this punning club of which I hammer pein a member so long.



On behalf of The TNS Awards Committee, Don_1 is once again awarded this expensive trophy!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F-J2FWurXI4IQ%2FTV5cVfsuJiI%2FAAAAAAAAHmM%2FDDsPndZQd24%2Fs400%2FAnvil%252BAwards.jpg&hash=1b0ae379a4f1135215bd7fed751830c5)

Wow!!

How does Don_1 do this???

He doesn't know which hammer is which, but he somehow nails it anyway!



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/05/2012 21:01:14
How does Don_1 do this???

He doesn't know which hammer is which, but he somehow nails it anyway!


I do make some sort of a plan(ish) (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planishing). I sit in a darkened room and set my mind to zinking about what in heavens name might be related to the subject matter, iron out the flaws and nick el of your ideas.

Ooops, I shouldn't have admited to that. Demo will be after me. Scared? Me? Man, ga nese are knocking already!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/05/2012 01:58:08

His friend, Father Manny Fold, is a real cartoon character. You'd like him.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing001.gif&hash=2cf2345a1fbd00faec62eee13d0dc4e1) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Bellows with laughter.

I don't wish to cast dispersions upon you Demo, but look:

demografx

Your signature is easily forged.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/05/2012 03:53:37
Your sad case hardened my opinion.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/05/2012 05:56:58
But Euro pinion has no bearing on this matter.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/05/2012 06:08:28

I do make some sort of a plan(ish)
 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planishing).


Careful you don't bully people with sheet metal.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/05/2012 11:34:24

I don't wish to cast dispersions upon you Demo, but look:

demografx

Your signature is easily forged.


Why <sputter> this is the last, blasted fate I thought would befall me.

And I should also go after those mortar forgers who sold me that inferior concrete!

I'm so upset this is giving me the bends. Even the other forum members are laughing at me as if they were a live TV audience. I tell you, it's cast irony.

But I'm hungry now, so I'll go instead and eat a charcoal broiled hamburger, and maybe ann eal sushi on the side instead of fries.

Might that qualify me for a JUNIOR (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F-J2FWurXI4IQ%2FTV5cVfsuJiI%2FAAAAAAAAHmM%2FDDsPndZQd24%2Fs400%2FAnvil%252BAwards.jpg&hash=1b0ae379a4f1135215bd7fed751830c5) ?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/05/2012 11:37:01
Today is:
Accountant's Day or Accounting Day
(They can't seem to make up their mind)
http://www.accountingday.org/

Will this be yet another excuse for TNS' CFO to demand cutbacks to The Awards Committee and washroom amenities budget? Again?

(This is marked "confidential and urgent")
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/05/2012 10:48:26
I have decided to drop forgery because you have obviously smelt a rat.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/05/2012 10:50:00
I wasted the whole day yesterday taking note of how many insects crawled out of a hole in the ground,
all because someone told me it was a count ant day.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/05/2012 15:53:12
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fp2.la-img.com%2F642%2F12434%2F3441840_1_l.jpg&hash=c5cf720547157a0f7be4767833f5714f)

Yes he is!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/05/2012 12:58:14
Did I post this in the wrong thread?


Το  Σ  ιτ  uπ  μαθ  ιζ  αλλ  Γρεεκ

O me gad!!! What did you say?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/05/2012 13:10:21
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fp2.la-img.com%2F642%2F12434%2F3441840_1_l.jpg&hash=c5cf720547157a0f7be4767833f5714f)

Yes he is!

Is what? From the caucasus? Is a screwball? Is a show stopper? Is a caucasian?

Your post has so many holes in it, that it needs caulking.

Are you bottling something up? Tell me, I am here to help, you can calk talk to me any time.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/05/2012 13:50:14
Did I post this in the wrong thread?


Το  Σ  ιτ  uπ  μαθ  ιζ  αλλ  Γρεεκ

O me gad!!! What did you say?

Actualy, perhaps that should have been:

Ωd, what did you say?

Yes, that would have δ (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delta_(letter)) blow to this thread.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/05/2012 13:51:35
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fp2.la-img.com%2F642%2F12434%2F3441840_1_l.jpg&hash=c5cf720547157a0f7be4767833f5714f)

Yes he is!

Is what? From the caucasus? Is a screwball? Is a show stopper? Is a caucasian?

Your post has so many holes in it, that it needs caulking.

Are you bottling something up? Tell me, I am here to help, you can calk talk to me any time.

My official psychiatric diagnosis:

You hardly seem aware of what's going on.

Over the top, probably due to bottled up emotions suddenly released.

Herr Professor Doktor Demografx
MD, BS, MS, PhD, IMHO, GMTA, WTF

ps - they say you drink 2 bottles of whisky a day, but it isn't true. You must scotch those rumours right away!




Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/05/2012 13:57:50
Did I post this in the wrong thread?


Το  Σ  ιτ  uπ  μαθ  ιζ  αλλ  Γρεεκ

O me gad!!! What did you say?

Actualy, perhaps that should have been:

Ωd, what did you say?

Yes, that would have δ (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delta_(letter)) blow to this thread.


Don, not to worry, you're always Omicron Kappa in my book : - )
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/05/2012 14:15:36
Perhaps I had β not come up with any more of these, it might be misconstrued as φosophical μtaion of the γ punning. But this opens up a whole new can of worms* and la tin is overflowing with possibilities.

*Other cans of somewhat more desirable π fillings are available.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/05/2012 14:23:36

Don, not to worry, you're always Omicron Kappa in my book : - )


Ο κ. Thank you kind sir, θ is a nice thing to say to me and to anyone of χnese origin.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/05/2012 14:26:49
O mi, cronological disaster here, I must kapp a dis off and get on with some work.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/05/2012 14:59:16
Upsilon Eta Omicron Eta, Don!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/05/2012 16:29:17
Upsilon Eta Omicron Eta, Don!

Ut est securus pro vobis loquor.


***Perhaps, for those who's Latin is as crap as mine and in case that is wrong, I should translate:-
That's easy for you to say.***
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/05/2012 05:56:02
Upsilon Eta Omicron Eta, Don!

Ut est securus pro vobis loquor.


***Perhaps, for those who's Latin is as crap as mine and in case that is wrong, I should translate:-
That's easy for you to say.***

Utter nonsense.

I can very well hold my loquor, thank you!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/05/2012 08:35:47

I can very well hold my loquor, thank you!


That's not what I heard. When I asked Mrs Demo if you drink a lot, she said "No, he spills most of it!"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 10/05/2012 18:55:07
Hey, we're on page 88, like the number of keys;-)

And Don_1, Demo's not as think as you drunk he is!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/05/2012 00:14:12
Today is:
May 11, 2012
Cinco de Mayo

Punning thread: where we stay on TOP of current events!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/05/2012 01:33:15

I can very well hold my loquor, thank you!


That's not what I heard. When I asked Mrs Demo if you drink a lot, she said "No, he spills most of it!"


And now she spills the beans?

It's not right, I tell you.

Grounds for divorce.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/05/2012 12:32:50

And Don_1, Demo's not as think as you drunk he is!


Right!

And I'm not as dumb as everyone says, either.

Hmph. That'll show 'im!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 11/05/2012 15:32:01
Today is:
May 11, 2012
Cinco de Mayo

Punning thread: where we stay on TOP of current events!



Now, I'll admit my Spannish ain't great, nor my maths (US = math) and even my chronology is somewhat lacking, but.......

Oh! I get it now, Cinco, as in "Spannish economy has gone down the plug hole in the sinko."

By jove, Demo, you are on the ball, if you get any more up-to-the-minute, you'll be in the future.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 11/05/2012 15:34:39

I can very well hold my loquor, thank you!


That's not what I heard. When I asked Mrs Demo if you drink a lot, she said "No, he spills most of it!"


And now she spills the beans?

It's not right, I tell you.

Grounds for divorce.



Now, now, don't get grouty.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 11/05/2012 15:36:07

And Don_1, Demo's not as think as you drunk he is!


Right!

And I'm not as dumb as everyone says, either.

Hmph. That'll show 'im!



It certainly did, I've never seen a 'hmph' before.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 11/05/2012 15:40:28

Hey, we're on page 88, like the number of keys;-)


I can sing in two keys; Yale & Chub. You'd be morticedified to hear it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/05/2012 00:36:58

Hey, we're on page 88, like the number of keys;-)


1. "Hey" is for horses.

2. No, I do not like the number of keys: 89 has more panache.

3. As a piano player, I always know what bar I'm in.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/05/2012 00:42:54

I've never seen a 'hmph' before.


Oh, come now, Don_1, we ALL know the truth about you and certain cavorting nymphs (soul sisters of hmphs).

<wink>

Your secret is safe. And TNS' Senior Womanizer Member Bailout Program is always there for the asking.

ps - if you and/or the wife come to visit us, don't forget that the speed limit here is 75mph.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 12/05/2012 01:27:09

I've never seen a 'hmph' before.


Oh, come now, Don_1, we ALL know the truth about you and certain cavorting nymphs (soul sisters of hmphs).


Who let the cat out of the bag? Tch tch tch, is nothing sacred anymore?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 12/05/2012 01:30:50

3. As a piano player, I always know what bar I'm in.


They can always recognise the ceiling!!!(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-eatdrink048.gif&hash=1a29116b950efd292558fd33415610ec) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/05/2012 01:52:13

By jove, Demo, you are on the ball, if you get any more up-to-the-minute, you'll be in the future.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi38.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fe146%2Fvgupload%2FBowA.gif&hash=a13716a74aaed79cfe3627ab53b9b860)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/05/2012 02:49:58

3. As a piano player, I always know what bar I'm in.


They can always recognise the ceiling!!!(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-eatdrink048.gif&hash=1a29116b950efd292558fd33415610ec) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)


Piano players are considered to be Baldwin they lose their hair.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 12/05/2012 11:48:56
..... and pegged out when they are legless.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/05/2012 12:01:44
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi467.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Frr40%2F413200%2FLaughing_Hyena80.gif&hash=4cfd811b62657d986c0ce7439b75e042)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/05/2012 20:02:03

I'll admit my Spannish ain't great...


You just can't let go of that anna doll/honey/sweetie-pie, can you???

Admit it!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/05/2012 05:11:59

Oh! I get it now, Cinco, as in "Spannish economy has gone down the plug hole in the sinko."


Yes, Titanically speaking.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/05/2012 09:10:16

egguator*

*Restaurant Personnel who serve eggs.



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.lionking.org%2F%7Einhix%2FLinks%2Fedlaugh.gif&hash=238b55f73c01e2d644caddba61f8d6f2)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/05/2012 13:39:49

I'll admit my Spannish ain't great...


You just can't let go of that anna doll/honey/sweetie-pie, can you???

Admit it!

I categorically dannay deny any such suggestion.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/05/2012 14:20:22
Don_1, you're lucky you're not in France.

They would not look kindly AT ALL on your association with Paris' finest and hottest and wildest lady of the evening (yes, you guessed right: Anna!)

In cold, hard fact, it's...a crime!

As you will see sooner than later, French gendarmes don't use yellow crime scene tape but prefer cordon bleu.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/05/2012 17:59:55
Tch, tch, tch. Your speelling leeves a loot two bee dezired, awe iz it the frensch hwo nead lessens.




With the language he uses, Cordon Ramsay should be renamed Gordon Blue*.

*Gnote the korekt speellling ov thiss werd, B L U E (or bloo).


If the French gendarmes send two dirty low down bum hit men to get me, would they be ass ass ins?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/05/2012 04:45:15

If the French gendarmes send two dirty low down bum hit men to get me, would they be ass ass ins?


No, the French gendarmes will send only one hit man to get you.

The other hit man is a murderer who just got sick with heartburn because of something the assassinate.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/05/2012 15:52:54

Today is:
Accountant's Day or Accounting Day



I wasted the whole day yesterday taking note of how many insects crawled out of a hole in the ground,
all because someone told me it was a count ant day.



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.picgifs.com%2Fgraphics%2Fl%2Flaughing%2Fgraphics-laughing-354963.gif&hash=3531efbf41999324bbc1b5ae166c36e4)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/05/2012 18:00:01
It looks as if I am in the clear. The two hit men boarded a plane to India by mistake.

Perhaps they were Spannish! (http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/football/world-football/2012/05/15/dozy-athletic-bilbao-fans-fly-to-wrong-country-for-europa-league-final-86908-23859909/)

Best warn any members in India, perhaps they might be daft enough to commit an ass ass in asian.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/05/2012 01:10:03

Perhaps they were Spannish! (http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/football/world-football/2012/05/15/dozy-athletic-bilbao-fans-fly-to-wrong-country-for-europa-league-final-86908-23859909/)


Hungarian airport officials told the fans "Bu can rest yourselves here and watch the match on TV."
But police ejected one fan saying "But da pest will have to go."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/05/2012 01:43:03
Are we really that hungary for puns?

But at least we don't have to worry about Rome and India.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/05/2012 02:00:20

It looks as if I am in the clear. The two hit men boarded a plane to India by mistake.

Perhaps they were Spannish! (http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/football/world-football/2012/05/15/dozy-athletic-bilbao-fans-fly-to-wrong-country-for-europa-league-final-86908-23859909/)


Best warn any members in India, perhaps they might be daft enough to commit an ass ass in ASIAn.


You're not fooling me or anyone else here for even one moment.

You're just looking for an excuse to go to ASIA by way of Afghanna anna*stan!

*Elegant counterpoint to ass ass

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 16/05/2012 02:31:50
We're talking about buns again?  As Homer says; dough!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/05/2012 02:54:47

We're talking about buns again?


We must.

Don_1 just took a job as a baker; and he already has ten children and yet there's always a bun in the oven.

We must stop him, Donnah.

For his own sake.


As Homer says; dough!


Donnah, it is our doughty.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/05/2012 05:18:53
And yes, I love it when you talk doughty to me.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/05/2012 06:17:43

[Hungarian] police ejected one fan saying "But da pest will have to go."

The two hit men boarded a plane to India by mistake.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.threadbombing.com%2Fdata%2Fmedia%2F2%2Fbaked_laugh.gif&hash=2dd95a3954209768844cf5b8c7552f33)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 18/05/2012 03:41:33

We're talking about buns again?


We must.

Don_1 just took a job as a baker; and he already has ten children and yet there's always a bun in the oven.

We must stop him, Donnah.

For his own sake.


As Homer says; dough!


Donnah, it is our doughty.


Hide the yeast; no rise, no buns (in the oven).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/05/2012 04:56:41
Hide the yeast?

OK, but will Don_1 still be able to rise to the occasion???

It would undoubtedly lift his mood.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 20/05/2012 05:26:14
Does he really knead to rise?  Maybe flours will cheer him up.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/05/2012 07:38:53
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fanimated-gifs.org%2Fwp-content%2Fthemes%2Ffrugal%2Fgraphics%2Fcat%2Flaughing-out-loud%2Flol-smiley-bounce-ag1.gif&hash=e1e5784978cbed3a8e2a26a1e714bfb7)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/05/2012 07:44:57

Does he really knead to rise?  Maybe flours will cheer him up.


Flour? Yeast? These things cost a lotta dough, Donnah.

I don't usually have that much bread in the bank.

I'm having a hard enough time already earning a crust these days!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/05/2012 11:18:41

Does he really knead to rise?  Maybe flours will cheer him up.


Flour? Yeast? These things cost a lotta dough, Donnah.

I don't usually have that much bread in the bank.

I'm having a hard enough time already earning a crust these days!


I'm sure you'll be able to butter him up Donnah.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/05/2012 11:20:34

OK, but will Don_1 still be able to rise to the occasion???


Yes I will and I can prove it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/05/2012 11:27:40

I'm having a hard enough time already earning a crust these days!


And there I was thinking you were on a roll!

I heard you were quite jammy.


Speaking of which, Sir Walter Raleigh was famous for laying his cape over a puddle so that QE 1st would not get her feet wet. She asked him "Did you do that for me Walt?" He replied "Yes Marm a laid it to protect the royal tootsies."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/05/2012 16:50:10
Royal tootsies lol!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/05/2012 18:01:11
May 15 to May 21, 2012
World Trade Week
Tomorrow is the last day!

Why is it week? I thought world commerce was really strong?

I wouldn't trade my existence for someone else's.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 21/05/2012 23:09:40
Not even upper crust?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/05/2012 08:53:17

I wouldn't trade my existence for someone else's.


Not even upper crust?



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fcddf834b.jpg&hash=e66a4290f403fbf9e035883a3e88613f)

Something for the Upper Crust (pun intended) - Batch Bread

But if you mean upper class, the students on the top floor of the school are  _always_  upper class.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 24/05/2012 07:17:18
My definition of upper is likely different than most.  I am delighted to be a crusty old bread though.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/05/2012 03:10:24

My definition of upper is likely different than most.


I just had an upper GI done. For fun. (rhymes : - )
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/05/2012 12:19:20
I just had an upper GI done
I really only did it for fun
Now my troubles have begun
The GI brought his awful son.

In a race between me and this one
Beneath a bright and burning sun
Even before the race was run
I felt my feet weighed a ton.

I had the urge to make a pun
As I sank my teeth in a current bun
And the starter then fired his gun
Which distressed a passing nun.

She slapped the burly starter hun
Around and around he was spun
When he recovered from this stun
He drove off in his Shogun.

So the moral you might expects
Not do like Demografx
But to sit and reflects
And clean those bloody dirty specs.



What a load of rubbish!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/05/2012 18:35:17
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F638b193e.jpg&hash=e506994ca68864dfbd94b75588e47c65)

Two out of three (2/3) Gastroenterologists Worldwide recommend Don_1 poetry as a serious therapeutic adjunct.

Don't forget to see Don's TV commercial on the very next episode of "Gastroenterologists Gone Wild!" (seen on HBO and BBC nightly).

It's a gas!

Check your local TV listings.



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/05/2012 02:26:59
2/3 Gastroenterologists are seriously bonkers.

They are grasping at straws and gasping for breath.

If a gaol breaker can be termed as an escape ologist. could a house breaker be termed as an enter ologist?


Is Gastroenterology the study of farting?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/05/2012 04:18:03

If a gaol breaker can be termed as an escape ologist. could a house breaker be termed as an enter ologist?


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2bc9cce7.jpg&hash=2028267c109adf26637e33565315842a)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 30/05/2012 05:57:08
And he hURLs himself out of the helicopter.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/05/2012 07:30:14
I don't understand the link, Donnah.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/05/2012 07:31:09
You mean to say it's a...hURLicopter?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/05/2012 15:29:23
Tch, tch, U R L when you get in this funny mood.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/05/2012 15:54:34
I don't understand the link, Donnah.

I am just seeking (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westland_Sea_King) better lynx (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westland_Lynx) for you to follow. But I am being careful as I don't want you to get air sick or sky (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sikorsky_Aircraft_Corporation) sick, while you are up there where le birds (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whirlybirds) fly.

They say that Russian helicopters aren't a pache on on Westlands. Ah well, chin ook up!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/05/2012 16:34:44
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.swish-designs.co.uk%2Fimages%2FSD-Helicopter.gif&hash=cd0e1d8875f5ebb505a359977c89c59d)

Don_1: Attention re your helicopter

TNS' CFO requests that you please move said vehicle as soon as humanly convenient. He said you are now obstructing the entrance to TNS' Executive Offices Wash Room. Just down the hall from TNS' West Wing.

Hurry! This blocked rest, wash room is making me claustrophobic! Move that chopper! I have more posts to write!!!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 30/05/2012 19:24:20
Whoever made that request is full of crap.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/05/2012 07:28:06
So CFO means Crap Fulla Officer???

CEO is Crap Exit Officer?

I won't ask about the Chair of THIS company!

I don't want to be a sitting duck. Lame Duck? Yeah, that's much easier for me to be.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/05/2012 08:28:11
So, my chopper is getting in peoples way eh!? That's a first!!!

Right then, I'll buzz off to somewhere more accomodating, like the rotory Club.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/05/2012 08:37:29
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ficonbug.com%2Fdata%2F31%2F128%2F0b456f8325bb8f72e52988f378aea5f5.png&hash=0d7f854e5178b0e21de24568d7f7dc5c) ITS NATIONAL I SCREAM WEEK (http://www.nationalicecreamweek.com/)!!!

Have I misunderstood something?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/06/2012 13:56:29
I shall begin my appreciation of this event on sundae.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/06/2012 20:09:41
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ficonbug.com%2Fdata%2F31%2F128%2F0b456f8325bb8f72e52988f378aea5f5.png&hash=0d7f854e5178b0e21de24568d7f7dc5c) ITS NATIONAL I SCREAM WEEK (http://www.nationalicecreamweek.com/)!!!

Have I misunderstood something?


You like the movies so much, couldn't you just as well have had a...

 PRIVATE 

                                           SCREAMING?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/06/2012 20:14:03

Whoever made that request is full of crap.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wildcarp.com%2Fsitebuildercontent%2Fsitebuilderpictures%2Fcarp62lbcoverdvdweb.jpeg&hash=0a8d38d89a01b096c7b465b3d4f5f2a5)

Yes, Donnah, but if he's full of carp, we should get a nice commission when he sells it!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/06/2012 20:26:47

I shall begin my appreciation of this event on sundae.


Aha! Soda truth is finally being revealed by Don_1: 

"It was a sundae when Abe 'n Anna split."

Thank you, Don! I've been remiss; I just haven't been keeping up with my 'Biblical Facts/Statistics/Outliers/Holy Truths' course. I hope I pass/fail.
 
(Boy, does Anna ever get around, or what???)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/06/2012 05:41:46

I'll buzz off to somewhere more accomodating, like the rotory Club.


Or perhaps like The New World Rotor? Or,  you can always land on The Flying Nuns, or park at the Freemasons (but they charge too much). Then there's always plenty of parking spaces at Rosy Cross, a Wing of The Red Cross, and of course The Kites of Columbus are always sympathetic to what's up in the air. Your choice.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 04/06/2012 17:46:38
Even after the Hindenburg disaster they are doing it again with the Build-a-burg.  Since the Hindenburg looked like a hot dog I guess the Build-a-burg will be like a hamburger.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/06/2012 01:50:37
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fa3f5518a.jpg&hash=2eeddd4311b8c5500e46e4054f7714ad)

Donnah, as you requested I located The Hindenburg in The Hamburger (newspaper).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 05/06/2012 21:48:15
Where DO you get this stuff?  Got a pic of the Build-a-burgers?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/06/2012 23:48:00
Today is June 5th
Cinco de Junio???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/06/2012 23:50:59

Where DO you get this stuff?  Got a pic of the Build-a-burgers?


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthestore.gameops.com%2Fv%2Fvspfiles%2Fphotos%2FBuildBurger-1.jpg&hash=29d4093f2ca2433545ff96e21d263b5d)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fusers.commspeed.net%2Fguzzi%2Fimages%2Fbuild-a-burger.jpg&hash=49b722038dcf67f82eb667ea6f8d8caf)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gonewnorth.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F02%2Ffk1.png&hash=706c7874257434703ac1d458e47090c3)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 06/06/2012 03:44:51
Hahahahaha.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/06/2012 09:04:28
My wish is your command, O Donnah!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 07/06/2012 06:43:44
Right then, I'd like to have the winning lottery ticket please.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/06/2012 15:21:11
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.voice-tribune.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F03%2FFotolia_4537344_Subscription_XL.jpg&hash=4e22a6e33e07e232ef17c7a72973579a)

As you requested!

Just look in your back yard! You'll see it!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 09/06/2012 23:46:34
Well we have catnip plants that is our cat currency.  Odyn comes when I call as long as I wave a catnip frond at him (the little nipper).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/06/2012 21:35:53
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Felgrandepics.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F04%2FCatnip.jpg&hash=2cf221876998f6b445bf7bc851dee867)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdnbakmi.kaltura.com%2Fp%2F695492%2Fsp%2F69549200%2Fthumbnail%2Fentry_id%2F1_f2ijolx5%2Fwidth%2F634%2Fheight%2F484&hash=3105e7739faea5dcc76667a479502ec0)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 11/06/2012 05:20:39
My human misleads you.  I had the plant in my mouth but I didn't inhale.

Odyn
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/06/2012 22:49:11
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwritehanded.files.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F06%2Ffunny-pictures-cat-smokes-catnip.jpg&hash=221b4e81126f16e69270eb8156cc1737)

Odyn!

Listen to *Master Donnah!

*Mistress just doesn't sound right...
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/06/2012 17:08:26
Here Odyn!!!

I've got your supper

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.formanandfield.com%2Fimages%2Fcategories%2FKippers.jpg&hash=c114b81dc7e403b7271d850378fcd257)


Yes, you could say they are Odyn's Golden Kippers (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcROWLqv8Ik)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 13/06/2012 17:28:00
M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m.  Please send the recipe to my human.  She only gives me sardines, herring, beef, pork, chicken, veggies and biscuits.  Kippers smothered in butter and garnished with fresh catnip sounds so much better!!

Odyn
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/06/2012 22:32:43

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.formanandfield.com%2Fimages%2Fcategories%2FKippers.jpg&hash=c114b81dc7e403b7271d850378fcd257)


Mmm, looks like yummy fried plantains/bananas!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/06/2012 23:53:01
M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m.  Please send the recipe to my human.  She only gives me sardines, herring, beef, pork, chicken, veggies and biscuits.  Kippers smothered in butter and garnished with fresh catnip sounds so much better!!

Odyn

Good grief Odyn, I would have Thort you would have got your human under control by now.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/06/2012 23:55:56

Mmm, looks like yummy fried plantains/bananas!

Yes, we have no plantains,
We have no plantains today.


Doesn't seem to work so well, does it? Perhaps Herb Alpert should do it tijuana style. He could get Anna to do the vocals....... Oh no, I forgot, you banned anna.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/06/2012 00:08:56
Sorry I have been absent for a while, and I will be again for now. I'm off back to Glasgow 1st thing in the morning.

Another chance to stock up on Haggis.

Och aye the noo.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/06/2012 00:56:24
Best wishes in Glasgow!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/06/2012 18:04:49

Mmm, looks like yummy fried plantains/bananas!


Yes, we have no plantains,
We have no plantains today.


Doesn't seem to work so well, does it? Perhaps Herb Alpert should do it tijuana style. He could get Anna to do the vocals....... Oh no, I forgot, you banned anna.



No. Anna was un banned.

So she is not to be banned, that anna, ok?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/06/2012 16:33:31

And he hURLs himself out of the helicopter.


It must be a whURLybird.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/06/2012 16:34:35


M-m-m-m-m-m-m-m.  Please send the recipe to my human.  She only gives me sardines, herring, beef, pork, chicken, veggies and biscuits.  Kippers smothered in butter and garnished with fresh catnip sounds so much better!!

Odyn



Good grief Odyn, I would have Thort you would have got your human under control by now.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.selecthomedecor.com%2Fassets%2Fimages%2FAF%2F10132980.jpg&hash=3b698127ca2a7626a13c6d4d0a6230d8)

As you can see from this recent sculpting, Odyn's attitude does not leave room for listening to mere mortals like Don_1. Nooo.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/06/2012 17:48:18
Valerie! Where are you? Come see what Demo wrote here.

Just loki at that, he'l be sorry. Come on Val hall a look and tell me, what have I dun to him?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/06/2012 17:53:31
Best wishes in Glasgow!

Ta very much. Back home now, but off again tomorrow. Looking forward to Haggis Neeps & Tatty's on Sunday. I'd have a wee dram with it, but I only have open the bottle, these days, and I'm pi**ed as a fart!


Just to set record straight and in case you were wondering when I shall be enjoying my Haggis,
it should be obvious from the above posts. O dinner time.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/06/2012 19:25:14
I had Haggis for lunch, it was offal.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 17/06/2012 22:10:19
Haggis self a good time Don_1.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/06/2012 02:26:35
If he's kilt his haggis & scoffed his tartan custard, Don'll get the griddle out and drop a few Scottish puncakes.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/06/2012 03:05:10


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.selecthomedecor.com%2Fassets%2Fimages%2FAF%2F10132980.jpg&hash=3b698127ca2a7626a13c6d4d0a6230d8)

Donnah, does the above statue adequately convey Odyn's outlook on life?


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/06/2012 11:48:35
If he's kilt his haggis & scoffed his tartan custard, Don'll get the griddle out and drop a few Scottish puncakes.


A pancake pun!!! Crumbs, that's got me in a flap Jack. Oh crepe, I just can't think of one.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/06/2012 00:02:06
No time for pancakes!

I was in a big hurry so I just scrambled to make eggs for breakfast.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/06/2012 00:43:58
I hope you came by those eggs legitimately, I should hate to think were poached.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/06/2012 04:15:25
Is this a yolk?

Poaching?

You think I would stoop as low as an Egg Benedict and be a traitor?

I'd become a Hollandaise citizen before ever considering THAT!

Fry my words!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 20/06/2012 05:56:45
The statue conveys Odyn's outlook on life egg-xactly!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/06/2012 08:12:40
Is this a yolk?

Poaching?

You think I would stoop as low as an Egg Benedict and be a traitor?

I'd become a Hollandaise citizen before ever considering THAT!

Fry my words!


I'm glad to hear this. Well, read it actually. I can only hope that al bu men and women have not been shelling out too much dosh for your eggs. Personally, I think the price of eggs should be laid down in law.

A cracking idea, don't you think. Om letteing my MP know of my proposal and asking him to submit a private members beak bill to parliament. I do hope it dosen't get beaten in the vote. The trouble is, some MP's can be vindictive. You'll find them er ingueing about Westminster, waiting to whip up trouble. Perhaps I'll just nog them on the head or flip them over, cus t ard treatment is all they understand.


Do you sometimes get the feeling you've seen these puns somewhere before?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/06/2012 08:32:08
The statue conveys Odyn's outlook on life egg-xactly!

I tried to phone Odyn yesterday.

ring ring - ring ring - ring ring
Hello.
Hello is t'at ue Odyn?
Nah, this is Thor here
Sorry, I dun rung the wrong number
You mere mortals have got a liberty ringing us Gods, I'm getting a bit bronzed brassed off with it.
click click - brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/06/2012 08:35:47

I'd become a Hollandaise citizen before ever considering THAT!


When they go out for a meal with friends, do they always go dutch?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/06/2012 18:17:06

The statue conveys Odyn's outlook on life egg-xactly!


Dozen that say it all!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/06/2012 18:20:29

I'd become a Hollandaise citizen before ever considering THAT!


When they go out for a meal with friends, do they always go dutch?


Eggsellent observation, Don_1!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/06/2012 18:21:15

The statue conveys Odyn's outlook on life egg-xactly!


Dozen that say it all!

Not half!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/06/2012 18:26:17

I'd become a Hollandaise citizen before ever considering THAT!


When they go out for a meal with friends, do they always go dutch?


Eggsellent observation, Don_1!

Thank you so very much, and you should know, being a man of great eggsperience
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/06/2012 07:44:04
June 21-24 (Last Weekend Thurs. to Sun.) is:
Watermelon Seed Spitting Week:

Watermelon Seed Spitting Contest:

Items Needed:
1. Watermelon seeds

2. A watermelon for the winner

Instructions:
1. Give each player a watermelon seed.

2. Have the players line up and take turns spitting the watermelon seeds as far as they can.

3. The one that spits the watermelon seed the farthest is the winner.

4. Award the winner a watermelon.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/06/2012 11:32:16

Watermelon Seed Spitting Week:

Watermelon Seed Spitting Contest:


Oh my gourd, whatever next!

I suppose the winner of the contest might be happy enough, but the one who is pipped at the post might become meloncholy.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/06/2012 00:12:06

The one who is pipped at the post might become meloncholy.



Just like a sheep dog puppy who likes cantaloupe might become a melon collie baby.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/06/2012 00:36:43

The statue conveys Odyn's outlook on life egg-xactly!


I tried to phone Odyn yesterday.

ring ring - ring ring - ring ring
Hello.
Hello is t'at ue Odyn?
Nah, this is Thor here
Sorry, I dun rung the wrong number
You mere mortals have got a liberty ringing us Gods, I'm getting a bit bronzed brassed off with it.
click click - brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mobileapples.com%2FAssets%2FContent%2FScreensavers%2Fother9731.gif&hash=88adedbe9d8f83f8b3d29d7bd93f661f)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/06/2012 03:28:31

Watermelon Seed Spitting Week:

Watermelon Seed Spitting Contest:



Oh my gourd, whatever next!


Oh, you heard about the upcoming pee-ing contest???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/06/2012 03:59:13

And he hURLs himself out of the helicopter.


It must be a whURLybird.


Or am I confusing that with, "It's the URLy bird that gets the worm."?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 22/06/2012 18:20:48

Watermelon Seed Spitting Week:

Watermelon Seed Spitting Contest:



Oh my gourd, whatever next!


Oh, you heard about the upcoming pee-ing contest???

Isn't that the daily MO for some peeple?

BTW Odyn loves cantaloupe and papaya.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/06/2012 20:22:43
Odyn was going to take Anna to Gretna Green so they could get married.
Anna said, "Will we ride off into the sunset with me on the back of your bike?"
Odyn answered "I don't have a bike, but I 'av a car do.
Anna said, "Good man go and get it."
Anna's father suddenly appeared.
Odyn said, "OK Papa ya gonna try to stop us?"
"Yep." Said Anna's father, "You can't elope with her. I ban Anna from marrying you."


Not the 'Ban Anna' again!!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/06/2012 21:35:47
Odyn was going to take Anna to Gretna Green so they could get married.
Anna said, "Will we ride off into the sunset with me on the back of your bike?"
Odyn answered "I don't have a bike, but I 'av a car do.
Anna said, "Good man go and get it."
Anna's father suddenly appeared.
Odyn said, "OK Papa ya gonna try to stop us?"
"Yep." Said Anna's father, "You can't elope with her. I ban Anna from marrying you."


Not the 'Ban Anna' again!!!!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fkoreanchingu.files.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F11%2Fmelon-award.jpg%3Fw%3D476&hash=bf92517a5c4af9e1c2a36e0739ed6f16)

Yup, you guessed it: I checked the Awards Committee and Don_1 indeed qualifies!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/06/2012 08:46:09
As does 'The Melon song', all 10hrs of it.

No, that's not a typo, 10hrs!!!

Link = The Melon Song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7vL9OWuud8). Don't even think about going there.

Its not for the puny.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/06/2012 08:21:01
10 hours!!!!!????? Oh my Thor!!


"Yep." Said Anna's father, "You can't elope with her.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fb9c992af.jpg&hash=8772a85a40cf706c4aee531d4b7f7355)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/06/2012 08:49:13
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F-wxIA4hVVwIQ%2FT4hIR_k0BuI%2FAAAAAAAAAiQ%2FoXDE3avYrzg%2Fs1600%2Flemon.jpg&hash=da42397581c4fc936958ab0ced54e105)
Dyslexic melon.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/06/2012 09:02:44


Odyn loves cantaloupe and papaya.



Odyn said, "OK Papa ya gonna try to stop us?"


Mom:  "Ted, ask Daddy if he's ill."

Ted:    "Papaya sick?"



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/06/2012 09:12:33

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F-wxIA4hVVwIQ%2FT4hIR_k0BuI%2FAAAAAAAAAiQ%2FoXDE3avYrzg%2Fs1600%2Flemon.jpg&hash=da42397581c4fc936958ab0ced54e105)

Dyslexic melon.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.paraorkut.com%2Fimg%2Fpics%2Fglitters%2Fl%2Flemon_party-7474.gif&hash=947c3360c8bfc40c775d84745c3ebe84)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/06/2012 09:39:09
Guess where I'm going....

 [ Invalid Attachment ]
The Lemon 24hr race.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 24/06/2012 20:59:55
10 hours!!!!!????? Oh my Thor!!


"Yep." Said Anna's father, "You can't elope with her.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fb9c992af.jpg&hash=8772a85a40cf706c4aee531d4b7f7355)
The melon boy cried when he seed she meant it and, needing comfort, he hugged his dog, the melon-collie.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/06/2012 02:01:12
Awww!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 25/06/2012 20:56:03
Which one is dyslexic, Blind Lemon Jefferson, or Blind Lemon Chitlin ?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/06/2012 21:16:36
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0afe8011.jpg&hash=cb28d5127b3898d6809f6a7eac5252b7)

As you requested!

(Hmm, wonder if he plays piano...)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/06/2012 04:50:39
June 26, 2012 is:
International Day Against Drug Abuse and Illicit Trafficking

Odyn, take heed!


My human misleads you.  I had the plant in my mouth but I didn't inhale.

Odyn


Odyn, have your lawyer help you modify your post as it is incriminating.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/06/2012 06:54:45
Guess where I'm going....

 [ Invalid Attachment ]
The Lemon 24hr race.

Good luck! I bet $50 on you to win!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/06/2012 18:03:07
Guess where I'm going....

 [ Invalid Attachment ]
The Lemon 24hr race.

Good luck! I bet $50 on you to win!

Sucker!!!  (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pic4ever.com%2Fimages%2F251.gif&hash=9f6c958f06bec52771916d5bac4645b2)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/06/2012 23:06:47
When life gives you melons, are you supposed to make melonade???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/06/2012 01:08:52
Guess where I'm going....

 [ Invalid Attachment ]
The Lemon 24hr race.

Good luck! I bet $50 on you to win!

Sucker!!!  (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pic4ever.com%2Fimages%2F251.gif&hash=9f6c958f06bec52771916d5bac4645b2)

Sure. You can, too!! 

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftakkic.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F06%2Flemon-sucker-5.jpg&hash=bd82732ee040c1b153f85bc049abb5a5)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/06/2012 01:17:54
When life gives you melons, are you supposed to make melonade???

If you suffer a mountainous stomach ache after eating an Indian Pomme, could you be suffering from the Appalachians?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/06/2012 15:00:56
Demo thought that post was a tad on the obtuse side. Allow moi to extrapolate.

Filthy swine, you do that sort of thing behind closed doors!


Mountains = Huge bits of Terra Firma poking up in the air.
Indian = Asian.
Pomme = Apple.

Pomme + Indian = apple asian = Appalachian Mountains
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/06/2012 15:02:34
I seriously need help.

Is there a trick cyclist in the house?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/06/2012 20:02:18
Don_1, thank you for sparing me the embarrassment of posting "Indianapolis here I come" in reply to your now un-obtuse post : - )
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/06/2012 20:07:30

I seriously need help.

Is there a trick cyclist in the house?


No, but my French Auntie Déprésiance can help.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/06/2012 20:33:24
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwwwdelivery.superstock.com%2FWI%2F223%2F4102%2FPreviewComp%2FSuperStock_4102-511.jpg&hash=60a4c4571b17acfe6394d6475f2b0d62)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffiles.myopera.com%2Feagle4eyes%2Falbums%2F544259%2Fsour-puss-lemon-face.gif&hash=06780ea68f05ba2a0f115d0dce281351)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/06/2012 20:39:06
Would someone kindly change the subject? I'm out of lemon gifs.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/06/2012 00:46:46
Would someone kindly change the subject? I'm out of lemon gifs.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwwwdelivery.superstock.com%2FWI%2F223%2F4102%2FPreviewComp%2FSuperStock_4102-511.jpg&hash=60a4c4571b17acfe6394d6475f2b0d62)

Is one to presume the title of this one is 'Gif us a kiss'?

Here, have this one on me:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.istockimg.com%2Ffile_thumbview_approve%2F1032952%2F2%2Fstock-illustration-1032952-lemon-cartoon.jpg&hash=9523aa2cac1c81bd1c3ba895b31b1717)

I have a whole battery of them!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thenakedscientists.com%2FHTML%2Fuploads%2FRTEmagicC_LemonBattery-diagram_01.png.png&hash=b4e494f2eed7d0e6d682c62be20ba12a)

Guess where I nicked that piccy from http://www.thenakedscientists.com/HTML/content/kitchenscience/exp/charging-ipods-with-lemons/ (http://www.thenakedscientists.com/HTML/content/kitchenscience/exp/charging-ipods-with-lemons/)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/06/2012 02:34:23
Wait a sec.

Are you allowing Real Science on this thread???

Horrors.

<praying to Thor for battery puns to be more (+) or less (-) fluid>

You'll see! My nonsense Non-Science will prove far superior!

Ohmmmm.

No acid remarks, please!




Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/06/2012 02:36:22

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffiles.myopera.com%2Feagle4eyes%2Falbums%2F544259%2Fsour-puss-lemon-face.gif&hash=06780ea68f05ba2a0f115d0dce281351)


I'm sure you didn't mean it, Don, but this one feels left out.

Like you don't want to gif it a kiss.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/06/2012 03:02:15

I have a whole battery of them!


I got angry when my cell phone battery died.

My psychiatrist suggested I find an outlet.

I guess that's why he gets paid the big bucks.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/06/2012 06:18:47

Here, have this one on me:

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.istockimg.com%2Ffile_thumbview_approve%2F1032952%2F2%2Fstock-illustration-1032952-lemon-cartoon.jpg&hash=9523aa2cac1c81bd1c3ba895b31b1717)


Why, thank you!

Could this be some kind of Thread Award from Don_1 that shows what the average person (or lemon, in this case) looks like after reading our posts?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 01/07/2012 04:26:16

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffiles.myopera.com%2Feagle4eyes%2Falbums%2F544259%2Fsour-puss-lemon-face.gif&hash=06780ea68f05ba2a0f115d0dce281351)


I'm sure you didn't mean it, Don, but this one feels left out.

Like you don't want to gif it a kiss.
sour-puss
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/07/2012 16:16:31

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffiles.myopera.com%2Feagle4eyes%2Falbums%2F544259%2Fsour-puss-lemon-face.gif&hash=06780ea68f05ba2a0f115d0dce281351)


I'm sure you didn't mean it, Don, but this one feels left out.

Like you don't want to gif it a kiss.
sour-puss

Let's you, me, and Don_1 get together and lemonstrate! Protest!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/07/2012 10:09:32

Let's you, me, and Don_1 get together and lemonstrate! Protest!


Why, of course, why did we think of it before. As Sherlock would have said, 'Lemonentry my dear Watson'.

After I had been sucking on a lemon and tried to speak, a chap with a speech impediment said to me, 'Are you taking the pith?'
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/07/2012 11:38:13

After I had been sucking on a lemon and tried to speak, a chap with a speech impediment said to me, 'Are you taking the pith?'


Don_1 replied, "No, but we've run out of lemons!", Don said bitterly.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/07/2012 18:24:36
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fdd1df9d5.jpg&hash=ec34c1dbf3a50d2169f7302a054face5)


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fa8724812.jpg&hash=a699d6a7a4b3f4acb8ee4f0289050277)


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fe4e1a542.jpg&hash=229697e00fabfe9f0999328866e5332b)

He couldn't handle the daily rind.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/07/2012 09:49:34
Could something more bitter than a lemon be described as sublime?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 09/07/2012 19:47:45
Is citrus alone who squeeze words to bring lemon aid to all?  Perhaps we can package it in bio-tins and send it to the sour-pusses of the world.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/07/2012 03:12:58
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.foodclipart.com%2Ffood_clipart_images%2Flemon_meringue_pie_0515-0905-1214-5642_SMU.jpg&hash=61610df21fa3296a54b643c56ceaf438)

Don't we all deserve some lemon meringue pie for all these beautifully bitter lemon puns???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/07/2012 07:15:34

Could something more bitter than a lemon be described as sublime?


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fe3899bd2.jpg&hash=7dbd2f62b7d932feb9139f07d812b2fe)

Yes! Don_1 wins The Sublime T-Shirt Award! (SUBmarine...LIME...get it? All that plus Lemon Fish!!!)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/07/2012 14:41:17
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.foodclipart.com%2Ffood_clipart_images%2Flemon_meringue_pie_0515-0905-1214-5642_SMU.jpg&hash=61610df21fa3296a54b643c56ceaf438)

Don't we all deserve some lemon meringue pie for all these beautifully bitter lemon puns???

Ooo! I haven't that for years!

I'm er 'anging about for a healthy slice of pie.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/07/2012 15:06:16
As I was going to Scarborough Fair,
I met a man who had no hair.
'What ho baldy' said I and laughed,
'Wrong rhyme' said he, 'I think your daft.'

'What's that?' I questioned of the man
And turned my head my ears to pan.
I have some custard and sponge in this ear
And in the other jelly and orange appear.

'Custard and sponge in one orifice
Jelly and orange,that can't be very nice'
You're either a very clumsy chef
Or I think that you are a triffle deaf.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 10/07/2012 21:50:53
Hear, hear!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/07/2012 02:28:18
As I was going to Scarborough Fair,
I met a man who had no hair.
'What ho baldy' said I and laughed,
'Wrong rhyme' said he, 'I think your daft.'

'What's that?' I questioned of the man
And turned my head my ears to pan.
I have some custard and sponge in this ear
And in the other jelly and orange appear.

'Custard and sponge in one orifice
Jelly and orange,that can't be very nice'
You're either a very clumsy chef
Or I think that you are a triffle deaf.
Hear, hear!!!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdata.whicdn.com%2Fimages%2F11668636%2Fburger-cool-ear-muffs-fashion-food-funny-Favim.com-95835_large.jpg&hash=538bcfad5b9dd473d44017537977d144)

Donnah hearby confirms that Don_1 is hearby Awarded the coveted 2012 Annual (each and every year) Creative Food-In-Orifices Award! Wild applause!!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/07/2012 07:03:28

君召使擯,色勃如也,足躩如也。揖所與立,左右手。衣前後,襜如也。趨進,翼如也。賓退,必復命曰:「賓不顧矣


Sometimes I detect confucian in Don_1's puns.

Yet I cant honestly say why.

But right now I am hungry and want to chow down.

And don't tell me that's mandarintory!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 12/07/2012 03:17:55
Ah, so, Confucious say, man who put bunwich on headphones got bunny ears.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/07/2012 04:21:07
Q. Do you know how to catch a unique bunny?

A. Unique up on it.

Q. Do you know how to catch a tame bunny?

A. Tame way.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 12/07/2012 10:31:00

君召使擯,色勃如也,足躩如也。揖所與立,左右手。衣前後,襜如也。趨進,翼如也。賓退,必復命曰:「賓不顧矣


Sometimes I detect confucian in Don_1's puns.

Yet I cant honestly say why.

But right now I am hungry and want to chow down.

And don't tell me that's mandarintory!




Please, please, please, don't do this again without giving prior warning. When such language is used, I have to keep my patella's covered because I have shy knees. I need time to prepare, I cant on demand just cover them, or they may end up peeking out. I must keep my mouth closed or now see tongue go the same way as my knees.

LOOK OUT!!!

What's happening? there's esch wan of my knee's uncovered.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 12/07/2012 10:38:14

君召使擯,色勃如也,足躩如也。揖所與立,左右手。衣前後,襜如也。趨進,翼如也。賓退,必復命曰:「賓不顧矣


Translation:-

The prince called 擯, color, and also as Hubble is HKSARG has been in close communication. With the National Police, left- and right-handed. Yi 襜 as before and after also. In inlet appear poised to wing it. Gentlemen, life will be raised up: "Gentlemen, careth not


Yep, anything you say.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 12/07/2012 11:05:52
Q. Do you know how to catch a unique bunny?

A. Unique up on it.

Q. Do you know how to catch a tame bunny?

A. Tame way.

Have you been at the Christmas crackers again?

Two can play at that game.

How do you make an apple tart?

Take away its sugar.

How do you poach a pear?

Poach one, then poach another one.

Why do you never go hungry at the seaside?

Because of the sandwhich is there.

I needed to borrow some money, so I got a drum, so I could go ta da bank, ta da bank, ta da bank bank bank.


Don't blame me! You started it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/07/2012 02:58:43
Blame you?? I love it!!!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/07/2012 03:03:00

君召使擯,色勃如也,足躩如也。揖所與立,左右手。衣前後,襜如也。趨進,翼如也。賓退,必復命曰:「賓不顧矣


Translation:-

The prince called 擯, color, and also as Hubble is HKSARG has been in close communication. With the National Police, left- and right-handed. Yi 襜 as before and after also. In inlet appear poised to wing it. Gentlemen, life will be raised up: "Gentlemen, careth not


Yep, anything you say.


Do you find anything wrong with this fine translation?????
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/07/2012 07:53:03
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-IoZ0sOXl-vg%2FTxBbc9vr73I%2FAAAAAAAACIw%2F0I0cF92M48g%2Fs1600%2Fhappy_friday_13th.jpg&hash=9a9d789996ceb3ee78cb8765c58c9d70)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/07/2012 08:32:27

君召使擯,色勃如也,足躩如也。揖所與立,左右手。衣前後,襜如也。趨進,翼如也。賓退,必復命曰:「賓不顧矣


Translation:-

The prince called 擯, color, and also as Hubble is HKSARG has been in close communication. With the National Police, left- and right-handed. Yi 襜 as before and after also. In inlet appear poised to wing it. Gentlemen, life will be raised up: "Gentlemen, careth not


Yep, anything you say.


I want to say, very sincerely, this one was hilarious. And I'm NOT mirthing over the recent house of mirrors visit with Odyn. This one's funnier, Don_1!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 14/07/2012 04:08:53
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-IoZ0sOXl-vg%2FTxBbc9vr73I%2FAAAAAAAACIw%2F0I0cF92M48g%2Fs1600%2Fhappy_friday_13th.jpg&hash=9a9d789996ceb3ee78cb8765c58c9d70)
Hey, where did you get Odyn's picture from?

Actually I have a very funny pic of Odyn "helping" on the TNS site.  If I ever get to finish unpacking, I'll post it when I find it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/07/2012 05:21:00
Since Odyn is seeking counsel and defense representation for the "innocent plant in mouth" unlikely story, I would ask Odyn's permission to re-print the photo. Make sure you get it in scratching writing.

I would hate to see you feline bad for getting sued by your own kitty.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/07/2012 12:14:56
Today is St Swithin's day.

If it rains today, it will rain for 40 days & 40 nights.

Ah well, at least there's an end in sight.

St Swithin, Bishop of Winchester, died in 862. On his death bed he asked to be buried in a humble grave outside the cathedral wall so 'sweet rain from Heaven' would fall on his grave.

The Monks thought this no fitting last resting place for a Bishop, so they built a shrine for his remains inside the cathedral. On the 15th July 971, they were to move his remains into the shrine. Legend has it that on that day and for the next 40 days and nights it pissed down there was torrential rain. The monks abandoned their plans, thinking it was St Swithin crying in despair.

Has some bugger moved his bones recently???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/07/2012 12:20:11
I suppose the problem was that the shrine was within the catherdral.

The monks must have cried, 'Look out, its hrining cats and dogs!'



Opps, Sorry Odyn.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/07/2012 14:47:37
I don't know weather or not you will like this:

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fa128133b.jpg&hash=335b7ab35a72d7831c1d7aeddf2ba981)

'St. Swithin's day if thou dost rain
For forty days it will remain
St. Swithin's day if thou be fair
For forty days 'twill rain nae mair.'

dost = does
thou = you
nae mair = no more.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/07/2012 14:59:36

Q. Do you know how to catch a unique bunny?

A. Unique up on it.

Q. Do you know how to catch a tame bunny?

A. Tame way.


Have you been at the Christmas crackers again?

Two can play at that game.

How do you make an apple tart?

Take away its sugar.

How do you poach a pear?

Poach one, then poach another one.

Why do you never go hungry at the seaside?

Because of the sandwhich is there.

I needed to borrow some money, so I got a drum, so I could go ta da bank, ta da bank, ta da bank bank bank.


Don't blame me! You started it.


No, Donnah started it!



Ah, so, Confucious say, man who put bunwich on headphones got bunny ears.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/07/2012 15:06:29

Could something more bitter than a lemon be described as sublime?


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fe3899bd2.jpg&hash=7dbd2f62b7d932feb9139f07d812b2fe)

Yes! Don_1 wins The Sublime T-Shirt Award! (SUBmarine...LIME...get it? All that plus Lemon Fish!!!)

Sorry, Don_1, but the Awards Committee notified me that they want you to pay shipping charges for the shirt!

They also only have 2 sizes: XXXXXLarge or Tiny-toddler.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/07/2012 15:31:49

They also only have 2 sizes: XXXXXLarge or Tiny-toddler.


Curses! One's too small, so is the other one.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/07/2012 15:36:35

dost = does
thou = you
nae mair = no more.


OR:-

Dost - stuff you pick up in a vacuum cleaner
Thou - 'though' as pronounced by a Brummy
Nae Mare - noise made by female horse
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/07/2012 16:39:39

dost = does
thou = you
nae mair = no more.


OR:-

Dost - stuff you pick up in a vacuum cleaner
Thou - 'though' as pronounced by a Brummy

Nae Mare - noise made by female horse


Did you mean the noise made by the female or the noise made by the horse???

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx148%2Fpaul3rd_bucket%2Fpaul3rd_bucket%25202%2Fpaul3rd_bucket%25203%2FJennifer_Connelly_Horse1.gif&hash=aadf57b5e5f6b19ec7cf4d874391a601)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/07/2012 16:56:39

They also only have 2 sizes: XXXXXLarge or Tiny-toddler.


Curses! One's too small, so is the other one.

They will give you your perfect fit size.

Only problem is that the only shirt left says:

                  I (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fopenclipart.org%2Fpeople%2Ftomas_arad%2Ftomas_arad_heart.svg&hash=79c7b6209899f2d5bc402c1d9f408fb1) Odyn
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 15/07/2012 19:19:29


Dost - stuff you pick up in a vacuum cleaner

I'm impressed!  Men who know what a vacuum cleaner does! 

I'll open that can of worms and go fishing!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/07/2012 20:52:18


Dost - stuff you pick up in a vacuum cleaner


I'm impressed!  mod edit Men Man who knows what a vacuum cleaner does! 

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/07/2012 01:08:33
JUST A COTTON PICKIN' MINUTE THERE MR DEMOGRAFX!!!

I'm not the only man who knows what a vacuum cleaner does, Mr Dyson knows too.

Ah!!! Oooo, Er um, I seem to have just shot myself in the foot.


Kindly ignore this post. That shouldn't be difficult, most of my posts are easy to ignore.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/07/2012 01:13:05


Dost - stuff you pick up in a vacuum cleaner

I'm impressed!  Men who know what a vacuum cleaner does! 

I'll open that can of worms and go fishing!

NOTE TO MYSELF:

If ever you happen to be visiting Donnah and she offers some light refreshement from a can, make your excuses and get out quick.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/07/2012 01:22:44
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx148%2Fpaul3rd_bucket%2Fpaul3rd_bucket%25202%2Fpaul3rd_bucket%25203%2FJennifer_Connelly_Horse1.gif&hash=aadf57b5e5f6b19ec7cf4d874391a601)

She's still riding that ass and hasn't got very far has she???

Well, she may not win the Derby, but if she wants to go riding C - E - N - S - O - R - E - D

Go on, get out!(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pic4ever.com%2Fimages%2F97.gif&hash=ceb706cbe8ab616a48ecef701a15083d)

What??? What did I say???

OUT!!! Go on, hop it, you dirrrrty little old man.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/07/2012 06:05:52
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi187.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fx148%2Fpaul3rd_bucket%2Fpaul3rd_bucket%25202%2Fpaul3rd_bucket%25203%2FJennifer_Connelly_Horse1.gif&hash=aadf57b5e5f6b19ec7cf4d874391a601)


Q. She's still riding that ass and hasn't got very far has she???
A.  Her own derrière? She's not riding a donkey!

OUT!!! Go on, hop it, you dirrrrty little old man.
Hop on her? Hop on horse? Hop on both? Hop on Pop? (<<Dr Seuss book)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/07/2012 06:20:22
Btw, someone informed me that the animated pic above is the actress Jennifer Connolly in one of her movies.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/07/2012 13:30:08
Btw, someone informed me that the animated pic above is the actress Jennifer Connolly in one of her movies.

Movie, maybe, but not movie very far.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/07/2012 14:09:13
I have a painting by some shorthouse Parisian artist which I thought I would try to flog on eBay.
After all, I don't think I've got anything tou louse.

I sat in the van goghing all day because of this cold I have caught.

***Titian*** Bless you.

A passing police officer asked if I was alright. I thanked him for his concern and said 'Yes I'm fine contstable, I'll be bac on my way soon.

It takes a lot to raphael my feathers, you know, you have to goya long way to do it, but some things do rubens me up the wrong way. Not manet people can do it.

"Is that a fact?" Cez Anne. (Not Anne again! Is she in it for the monet?)

***Titian*** Doh! Here I gaugain, sneezing.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 17/07/2012 03:20:19
JUST A COTTON PICKIN' MINUTE THERE MR DEMOGRAFX!!!

I'm not the only man who knows what a vacuum cleaner does, Mr Dyson knows too.

Ah!!! Oooo, Er um, I seem to have just shot myself in the foot.


Kindly ignore this post. That shouldn't be difficult, most of my posts are easy to ignore.
Did you see Mr. Dyson's latest ads?  Apparently he's got balls.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 17/07/2012 12:16:31
Balls and vacuum cleaners!!!


No, I'm not going there! I can see me saying something I will later regret.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/07/2012 03:59:43

I have a painting by some shorthouse Parisian artist which I thought I would try to flog on eBay.
After all, I don't think I've got anything tou louse.


Not to lose, but to track...your fine entrepreneurship!


I sat in the van goghing all day because of this cold I have caught.


And you certainly caught that cold from drinking that cheap French Vin that is so cheap that only centimes does it cost!


A passing police officer asked if I was alright. I thanked him for his concern and said 'Yes I'm fine contstable, I'll be bac on my way soon.


Eggsactly what he wanted to hear!


It takes a lot to raphael my feathers, you know, you have to goya long way to do it, but some things do rubens me up the wrong way. Not manet people can do it.

"Is that a fact?" Cez Anne. (Not Anne again! Is she in it for the monet?)

***Titian*** Doh! Here I gaugain, sneezing.


Of course, Anne is ALWAYS in it for the monet!

Did you pick her ass to win? (no, no, at the races, you lecher!!)

Don_1, I'm not asking you to change all your beliefs!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/07/2012 04:23:02

Did you see Mr. Dyson's latest ads?  Apparently he's got balls.


Balls and vacuum cleaners!!!


No, I'm not going there! I can see me saying something I will later regret.


What's wrong with bacuum cleaners? It could start a trend!

Let's start a company! DonDonnahDemo Bacucleaning. Ltd.

edit All senior employees must have a college-level baculaureate degree.

We'll sell shares to Bernie Madoff!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 18/07/2012 04:55:17
Or we could just call it 3D.  BTW would you invest money with a person named Madoff? 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/07/2012 05:03:49
That's right, Donnah! "BM: Made off with America" is the name of an upcoming movie.
http://www.satanofwallstreet.com/main/index.php

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/07/2012 05:47:34

Or we could just call it 3D.
 

But then we would have to give each customer a set of glasses.

Expensive!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/07/2012 14:14:37
Btw, someone informed me that the animated pic above is the actress Jennifer Connolly in one of her movies.

Movie, maybe, but not movie very far.

You prefer speed over sensuality? <giggle>
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/07/2012 14:21:46

They also only have 2 sizes: XXXXXLarge or Tiny-toddler.


Curses! One's too small, so is the other one.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnetanimations.net%2FLaughing-chimp-gif-animation.gif&hash=ab12bb3a827351181caeb470e89b4416)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/07/2012 14:32:51


Dost - stuff you pick up in a vacuum cleaner

I'm impressed!  Men who know what a vacuum cleaner does! 

I'll open that can of worms and go fishing!

NOTE TO MYSELF:

If ever you happen to be visiting Donnah and she offers some light refreshement from a can, make your excuses and get out quick.

Do you really think you could worm your way out of that situation so easily???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 19/07/2012 02:49:02
What on earth?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/07/2012 05:38:03

What on earth?


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgifsoup.com%2Fwebroot%2Fanimatedgifs%2F1049692_o.gif&hash=8102408f840d3aae82018057294e07db)

"Earth worms!"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/07/2012 18:15:19
Btw, someone informed me that the animated pic above is the actress Jennifer Connolly in one of her movies.

Movie, maybe, but not movie very far.

You prefer speed over sensuality? <giggle>

Its not a question of preference! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-ashamed005.gif&hash=1c79a278bedf7ec624b32be088286225) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/07/2012 18:22:27


A passing police officer asked if I was alright. I thanked him for his concern and said 'Yes I'm fine contstable, I'll be bac on my way soon.


Eggsactly what he wanted to hear!


Oh my! I was told that would be your reply.  He saw, sage did. He's bean so clever.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/07/2012 18:25:20
What on earth?

C'mon, we can slug it out.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/07/2012 18:35:04
Or we could just call it 3D.  BTW would you invest money with a person named Madoff? 

Not on your life. I invested with Robin B'stard.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 19/07/2012 20:11:53
Sometimes I wonder if we have firebug brains instead of the normal neural networks.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/07/2012 23:03:49
Neural networking is simply a form of social networking. Sorry, but Zuckerberg owns all the rights.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/07/2012 01:24:38
Neural networking is simply a form of social networking. Sorry, but Zuckerberg owns all the rights.

Then its not too late, we can buy up all the lefts!!!

YIPEEE I'm rich, I'm rich.

Nope, sorry, my mistake, I'm Don.

Can't even remember my own name now.......
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/07/2012 01:30:16
Sometimes I wonder if we have firebug brains instead of the normal neural networks.

Brains? Brains? Who's got brains?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 20/07/2012 17:31:12
Most of us have brains left, because Mark has all the rights.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/07/2012 23:19:54
He has now taken the only remaining ones just the other day.

They were the last rites.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/07/2012 23:24:22
Here is the 9 o'clock news.

My watch has stopped.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/07/2012 05:24:18

Most of us have brains left, because Mark has all the rights.


He has now taken the only remaining ones just the other day.

They were the last rites.


Here is the 9 o'clock news.

My watch has stopped.


Who has the rights to your watch????

Or was it perhaps left somewhere???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/07/2012 09:58:08

Who has the rights to your watch????

Or was it perhaps left somewhere???


I put it to you that this was not of your own doing, but that it was second hand.

Further more, that it is not viable lyrics for a melodic song, but rather that it ist rap.

You have been trying to fob us off in this instance.

M'Lud, I wrist my case.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/07/2012 21:15:47

M'Lud, I wrist my case.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fe532f2ea.jpg&hash=30aa641779333a519ddc59ab429a7854)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/07/2012 21:41:47
I posted the above so that you will all be able to discover, uncover and report one immediately!

Agent Demografx
At Your Protective Service
Always

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/07/2012 22:55:28
'Tis with great thanks that I reply to you, oh wonderous one.

Armed with this information, I'm sure I will be able to finger any terrorwrist now. I'm sure hel bow to my soupearior nolij and not try to palm me off with any humerous stories.

I shall metataskforce and raid 'is 'ouse. I'm sure I can now shoulder this burden with a little trainning from the Special Boat Service men in Scapula Flow.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/07/2012 22:59:01
Its getting so that I look at my own posts and wonder what sort of imbecile wrote that rubbish.

I think I need a check-up from the neck up.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/07/2012 00:49:23
Don_1, I had the same problem, so I occasionally give myself a prefrontal lobotomy after posting.

Now I admire my posts.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/07/2012 01:26:02
I thought this was a brilliant idea, so asked 'er indoors to assist me in a lobotomy.

Alas, she did not quite understand what a lobotomy means and proceeded to chop my bum off.

Shitting will never be the same again.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/07/2012 02:06:03
I have decided to confffesss (excuse the stuttttter) to my age.
View my profile, if you are really that hard up for something to do.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/07/2012 02:49:02
I thought this was a brilliant idea, so asked 'er indoors to assist me in a lobotomy.

Alas, she did not quite understand what a lobotomy means and proceeded to chop my bum off.

Shitting will never be the same again.

Problem shifting? Just get an automatic like I did!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/07/2012 04:30:40
I have decided to confffesss (excuse the stuttttter) to my age.
View my profile, if you are really that hard up for something to do.

Don_1 profile
Posts: 5,650,307 (see Guiness World Records)
Email: questionable@credentials.c om
Gender: Male (non-virgin)
Age:346
Location:Lunatic Asylum
Attitude: Yes

Methuselah, I find your Rip van Winkle description...modest.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/07/2012 06:32:41
But perfect (A+) for this thread!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/07/2012 10:32:43
I thought this was a brilliant idea, so asked 'er indoors to assist me in a lobotomy.

Alas, she did not quite understand what a lobotomy means and proceeded to chop my bum off.

Shitting will never be the same again.

Problem shifting? Just get an automatic like I did!

An automatic bum??? Good gracious, whatever next? Automatic gear boxes in cars, I suppose.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/07/2012 10:36:01
Demo, have you considered that we may be like two old farts in a pair of incontinence pants?!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/07/2012 10:58:03
By jove, I'm getting my chelonians out all over the place here recently.

Who will be first to say 'put a shell sock in it.'
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/07/2012 20:20:29
Demo, have you considered that we may be like two old farts in a pair of incontinence pants?!

Now that you put it that way, Don_1, it's downright...flatulence flattering!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/07/2012 23:35:20
By jove, I'm getting my chelonians out all over the place here recently.

Who will be first to say 'put a shell sock in it.'


The shell of turtles is the backbone of their success!

But it's the weekend so maybe I'll hit the tavern and get plastred on Michelonian Lite (beer).

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/07/2012 00:36:04
I know some of this is repetitive, but how the hell else are we gonna make it to page 100?????
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/07/2012 03:54:09
'Tis with great thanks that I reply to you, oh wonderous one.

Armed with this information, I'm sure I will be able to finger any terrorwrist now. I'm sure hel bow to my soupearior nolij and not try to palm me off with any humerous stories.

I shall metataskforce and raid 'is 'ouse. I'm sure I can now shoulder this burden with a little trainning from the Special Boat Service men in Scapula Flow.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.historypublishingco.com%2Fphotos%2Fhunting_am_terr_200.jpg&hash=b25ace5ca6f1fa93ca2a7cb21459a812)

Don_1 handily wins The Chair for his great, great activities in detecting terrorwrists!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/07/2012 05:56:41
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.artbible.info%2Flarge%2Fmichelangelo_saulus.jpg&hash=45915d0b046c545c49d8db4ea084b9ce)

A Michelonianangelo_saulus jpeg on the Internet.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 23/07/2012 07:06:27
so this is how you neilp level members get so many posts! A mundane way to spend time on a science forum - there must be better! As a nubi, I surely can't hope to compete with other members, or SOS! I risk the wrath of the gods!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/07/2012 10:26:01
Ah ha! A new subscriber to the punning thread!

We are hapi to have you along for the ride, but please don’t ptah us all with the same brush. We may be seth in our ways and a little long in the thoth, maybe even a little nuts and there are nun so foolish as an old fool, however, but fhor us, the forum might geb a tad tedious.  With so much talk of what is nu in science, such as the particles to be found in an atum, well, at enough to drive you bonkers. It is always best to introduce a little levity here and there.

Huh!” You may say,” you memn on this forum remind me of village idiots, anile  nefer titi around with you.”

Well, phar aohnough, but we shall continue to burn effigies of science and all else here on the pyr amid the sanity. Anat is just the way it is.

So take off your hat, hor sit on the ma’at, stroke our dog, he’s a fine looking mut, or nep it in the bud and revert to good sense.

Whether by lux or destiny, you have stumbled in to this madhouse and whether you ment uho tep the balance or not, you did Toot an khamun in to join us. It doesn’t take alot to amuse us, so Ptolemy, Demo and Donnah a few more puns and let yourself go.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/07/2012 21:48:27
Welcome, bizerl! May Thor protect you from our collective madness!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/07/2012 22:28:37
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi241.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fff252%2Feriage%2Fthor.gif&hash=4752d0a2a793c9d7d0664013c2061aeb)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/07/2012 01:30:08
Good grief, Demo, there we were in Egypt and you have zeused your power to transport us to northern Europe. I thort you might do that.

BTW, I'm not sure any gods can protect anyone from the inmates of this looney bin.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 24/07/2012 02:04:16
I can hardly compete with the marvel that is demographic. Novel as it is, it would take six men to weather the storm, and while i'd find going AWOL veri necessary at times, the magnet of scientific discovery gives me resolve stronger than iron! Man was not born to crawl like the spider! Man was made to wonder! Woman too.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/07/2012 02:51:50

I'm not sure any gods can protect anyone from the inmates of this looney bin.


Don_1, there are rumors that we inmates of this looney bin all fell into poison ivy and started a rash of breakouts.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/07/2012 03:35:18

...resolve stronger than iron! Man was not born to crawl like the spider! Man was made to wonder! Woman too.


I protest! You left out Batman!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F4c40cf61.jpg&hash=1a51f4740b47fc533b84397dc2e6e48a)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/07/2012 04:03:17
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fphoto-13.gif&hash=b125ab1e833ef3f53bd8a5b5b414063d)

Training Clip For *Odyn!

*proud human owner: Donnah
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 24/07/2012 04:03:35
I already felt funny about including Wonder Woman in a Marvel dominated post - I thought that would be controversial enough. I also thought that the friendly combat managed to create a throb inside my head!

I should be a cryptic crossword writer!  ;)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/07/2012 04:15:14
True, bizerl, and the friendly combat even helped our mobile phone reception!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/07/2012 04:49:42

I should be a cryptic crossword writer!  ;)


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F65acb384.jpg&hash=7ce86186e7cd4739a45e207a5557e26b)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/07/2012 12:52:03
I can hardly compete with the marvel that is demographic. Novel as it is, it would take six men to weather the storm, and while i'd find going AWOL veri necessary at times, the magnet of scientific discovery gives me resolve stronger than iron! Man was not born to crawl like the spider! Man was made to wonder! Woman too.

Well strike me down, what the dickens was all that? You were tolkien about more comic characters than you can shake a speare at there. I think youve rned youself an award for 'best newcomer' there. Demo will doubtless sort one out for you. Shell ey make it a bronze or gold, ing fact, it would not go amis, I'm sure. It wont cost much since he asimof the shelf rather than made to order. He doesn't like to be too austintacious. It may be in the shape of a brontesaurus or T.rex (de foe of afore said dinosaur).

I am sure you will rejoyce at whatever is forthcoming, but please, no larkin about and don't revert to writting trollope afterwards.

Schulz you be unhappy with your award, much to our horo, witz we will display, we will hold you until a ransome is paid to calm our roth, but I warn you, atwood take a great deal of monet***.

***How did he get in here?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/07/2012 13:05:31

I'm not sure any gods can protect anyone from the inmates of this looney bin.


Don_1, there are rumors that we inmates of this looney bin all fell into poison ivy and started a rash of breakouts.


I went to a French restaurant called 'Le Mariner', where they asked if I wanted poissin. 'How strange', I thought. I declined the offer and said I would have fish instead.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/07/2012 13:08:03

I should be a cryptic crossword writer!  ;)


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F65acb384.jpg&hash=7ce86186e7cd4739a45e207a5557e26b)

Do I detect some skulduggery going on here?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/07/2012 20:13:33

Don_1, there are rumors that we inmates of this looney bin all fell into poison ivy and started a rash of breakouts.


I went to a French restaurant called 'Le Mariner', where they asked if I wanted poissin. 'How strange', I thought. I declined the offer and said I would have fish instead.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnetanimations.net%2Fmoving_animated_scuba_fish_swimming.gif&hash=4cb11295dcbdb28d114a862d810ddb70)

Don_1, I hope you first removed the scuba gear before dining!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/07/2012 20:36:29

[bizerl], I think you've earned youself an award for 'best newcomer' there. Demo will doubtless sort one out for you.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theskykid.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F01%2FBest-newcomer-awards-2010.jpg&hash=4828fbbf912ec735f837bdbf654e1601)

Will this one do, Don_1?



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/07/2012 23:30:41

I should be a cryptic crossword writer!  ;)


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F65acb384.jpg&hash=7ce86186e7cd4739a45e207a5557e26b)

Do I detect some skulduggery going on here?

Haha, no, I actually dig it!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/07/2012 10:48:03

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theskykid.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F01%2FBest-newcomer-awards-2010.jpg&hash=4828fbbf912ec735f837bdbf654e1601)

Will this one do, Don_1?


I thought this (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aandc.org%2Fnews%2Fims%2Fnelson_statue.jpg&hash=a0e894893db45e327dfac7a33a70ae78) might be a more admirable selection, but I bow to your (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wizardrecipes.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2Frecipesoriginal%2Fonion%2520soup.jpg&hash=e172927ef865a2f448139cc6cdf80704)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fexplore.rice.edu%2Fimages%2Fexplore%2Fwhoknew%2FEar.jpg&hash=884706e32bd75ee1ff3f1d21bf3f9703)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.hellomagazine.com%2Fimagenes%2Fnews-in-pics%2F2005%2F09%2F14%2F%2Fmcandrewpic.jpg&hash=47c6e06a6ad681ccead673840804170e) experience.

A pictorial pun.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/07/2012 21:29:20
I hereby Knight You, Don_1, King of Punning Graphics.

Alas, how can I award this award with my "Junior Graphics" now updated status????
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/07/2012 21:40:30
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aandc.org%2Fnews%2Fims%2Fnelson_statue.jpg&hash=a0e894893db45e327dfac7a33a70ae78)

I hereby award this BEST NEWCOMER Award to bizerl!!!

This message has been approved by Citizens To Free Don_1, Ltd.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/07/2012 23:03:40
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.wikia.com%2Fcamphalfbloodroleplay%2Fimages%2F0%2F08%2FFireworksAnimated.gif&hash=fc6250f33e9da44c755c1d50bc81ee90)

Fireworks is part A of mandatory newcomer hazing ritual...part B is the Punning Chamber, which {{{shudder}}} is <censored> .
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/07/2012 00:49:22
Oooooo! I love fireworks.


                                                                                                                                                                  h!!!!
                                                                                                                                                           h
                                                                                                                                                     h
                                                                                                                                             g                                                                                                                                                                                                   G
Now what does it say here.... light blue touchpaper and..... No its no good I can't read i AG

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi985.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fae334%2Fsmashingblonde%2Fsmiley_fireworks-1.gif&hash=c22eb69bb962bab7573f4ce6ea8e11d3)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 26/07/2012 01:18:39
All this fuss for li’l’ ol’ me? I feel like a cad. “Amy awards clever thinking but Oscar doesn’t care”, my Grammy used to say that but she was baft as a brush (sorry, typo). No, believe me when I say that silence is golden, globeally as well as locally (my spelling IS off today!). Whether an emmynent scientist or student who doesn’t give a fig, noble thoughts can ensue.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 26/07/2012 01:19:50
Also, if I lose my job due to low productivity, I'm blaming you!  :P
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/07/2012 02:32:19
We are PROUD of our low productivity here.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/07/2012 02:39:32

All this fuss for li’l’ ol’ me? I feel like a cad. “Amy awards clever thinking but Oscar doesn’t care”, my Grammy used to say that but she was baft as a brush (sorry, typo). No, believe me when I say that silence is golden, globeally as well as locally (my spelling IS off today!). Whether an emmynent scientist or student who doesn’t give a fig, noble thoughts can ensue.


Don_1 and I regret that you didn't win the highly coveted newcomer Galaxy Award, but you did receive a constellation prize.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 26/07/2012 03:22:22
Which makes you the star bizerl!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/07/2012 03:32:46
Yes, Donnah ALWAYS speaks the sparkling truth, bizerl.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 26/07/2012 03:51:01
What a stellar thought! It's got me pulsaring with excitement. I usually try to stay neutronal on such matters but your radiated praise has singularityly made me go red, dwarfed by such TNS forum royalty.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/07/2012 03:52:43
Prepare now! Starts tomorrow!
July 27 through July 29, 2012
Garlic Days:
http://www.gilroygarlicfestival.com/

That stinks!: we have to wait one whole day more for the festivities to begin! (see above link).


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/07/2012 04:25:16
 And don't forget to join in at the...

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F57393a01.jpg&hash=3071c9077427cedbde4c238ce5fe21d9)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/07/2012 05:38:19

...dwarfed by such TNS forum royalty.


Flattery will get you nowhere everywhere!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/07/2012 11:01:47
Prepare now! Starts tomorrow!
July 27 through July 29, 2012
Garlic Days:
http://www.gilroygarlicfestival.com/

That stinks!: we have to wait one whole day more for the festivities to begin! (see above link).




I would love to go to this to get some good pictures. I would set the camera to manual, with the aperture open wide and the shutter set to bulb I would use my macro lens to get some good clovesups.

To keep warm, I would set light to a small commercial vehicle and pitch camp next to this van pyre.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 26/07/2012 22:59:45
What a stellar thought! It's got me pulsaring with excitement. I usually try to stay neutronal on such matters but your radiated praise has singularityly made me go red, dwarfed by such TNS forum royalty.
It's traditional for you to be mooned now (I know, it's a bummer).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/07/2012 02:47:24
Prepare now! Starts tomorrow!
July 27 through July 29, 2012
Garlic Days:
http://www.gilroygarlicfestival.com/

That stinks!: we have to wait one whole day more for the festivities to begin! (see above link).




I would love to go to this to get some good pictures. I would set the camera to manual, with the aperture open wide and the shutter set to bulb I would use my macro lens to get some good clovesups.

To keep warm, I would set light to a small commercial vehicle and pitch camp next to this van pyre.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fchristopherranch.files.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F07%2Fallium-award-1.jpg&hash=54f558ac2aaace23afa2c4e55308b10a)

Garlic is stinky, but Don_1's punning performances are not!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/07/2012 10:44:22
What a stellar thought! It's got me pulsaring with excitement. I usually try to stay neutronal on such matters but your radiated praise has singularityly made me go red, dwarfed by such TNS forum royalty.

It's traditional for you to be mooned now (I know, it's a bummer).


Is this one ok, Donnah?

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FTsQa6.gif&hash=78ef5d1fc2b568e02477230bc48d29bb)


Oh I say!!!

She can moon me any day of week.

Mind you, its a shame the poor lass can't afford a pair of knickers. She'll likely get a chill in her gluteus maximus. I shall offer to keep it warm for her.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-violent081.gif&hash=f1d88203d4e7cb79f46bd29d350dc349) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Now what have I done wrong? I made sure my hands were warm first!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/07/2012 10:48:10
......... it's a bummer.

Getting asteroids can be a pain in uranus.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/07/2012 01:13:22
What a stellar thought! It's got me pulsaring with excitement. I usually try to stay neutronal on such matters but your radiated praise has singularityly made me go red, dwarfed by such TNS forum royalty.

It's traditional for you to be mooned now (I know, it's a bummer).


Is this one ok, Donnah?

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FTsQa6.gif&hash=78ef5d1fc2b568e02477230bc48d29bb)


Oh I say!!!

She can moon me any day of week.

Mind you, its a shame the poor lass can't afford a pair of knickers. She'll likely get a chill in her gluteus maximus. I shall offer to keep it warm for her.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-violent081.gif&hash=f1d88203d4e7cb79f46bd29d350dc349) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Now what have I done wrong? I made sure my hands were warm first!

Mooning is lunacy.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/07/2012 01:19:21
......... it's a bummer.

Getting asteroids can be a pain in uranus. edit [not mine]


Yes. Normally, every day they're a pain.

But on Saturdays? no asteroids!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 30/07/2012 06:37:56
It's a bundle of lunacy.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/07/2012 13:00:25
I wish to bring your attention to my efforts in the 'Physiology & Medicine'  board and the question posed ' Do bras cause breasts to sag?' Find the full thread  here (http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=15913.0):-


I refuse to be sucked into this debate.

This question is so old, I should think it has been well and truly milked by now.

What's more, there were only 7 replies (until yours) so it lacked eight.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing021.gif&hash=44605df69e1507c3ed4d235c15c22e92) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Strewth! I made myself laugh with that one. This belongs in the punning thread.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/07/2012 13:26:16
......... it's a bummer.

Getting asteroids can be a pain in uranus. edit [not mine]


Yes. Normally, every day they're a pain.

But on Saturdays? no asteroids!



Some people tri tons of creams and other remedies for relief from asteroids until at last they are free from this pain in uranus, which can be a terrible pain in the rhea.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/07/2012 18:46:56
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fquantumg.net%2Fasteroid_dig_big1.gif&hash=9b6269042443a11dd85088f824e97897)
           The Don_1 Asteroid


For out of this world remarks, The Award Committee approved the naming of this asteroid after Don_1!

Our very own Don_1 is a NASA celebrity now!!

ps - the animation shows a closeup of Don_1's future home inside the asteroid!!

We're all very excited for you!!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/07/2012 18:57:16

It's a bundle of lunacy.


Donnah, it's great how you just rise to the occasion with these bun-puns - at yeast we're having some fun with it, and sometimes we knead that!


 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/07/2012 19:00:45

I wish to bring your attention to my efforts in the 'Physiology & Medicine'  board and the question posed ' Do bras cause breasts to sag?' Find the full thread  here (http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=15913.0):-



I refuse to be sucked into this debate.


This question is so old, I should think it has been well and truly milked by now.

What's more, there were only 7 replies (until yours) so it lacked eight.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing021.gif&hash=44605df69e1507c3ed4d235c15c22e92) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Strewth! I made myself laugh with that one. This belongs in the punning thread.

This is one of the breast puns I've seen!

But although it is quite titillating, let's not implant any boob-type behavior.

Chest stick to the facts like you do!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 31/07/2012 01:03:36
My mammary always told me that this areola could be a bit nippley.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/07/2012 01:29:15
And, bizerl, you know that Mammary knows breast!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/07/2012 01:37:26

Chest stick to the facts like you do!


I must admit, I was flailing my arms around while bringing this to your attention.

I will try not to chest stickulate in future.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/07/2012 01:49:35
Motion is 99% of the law, Don_1.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/07/2012 01:50:25
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fquantumg.net%2Fasteroid_dig_big1.gif&hash=9b6269042443a11dd85088f824e97897)
           The Don_1 Asteroid


For out of this world remarks, The Award Committee approved the naming of this asteroid after Don_1!

Our very own Don_1 is a NASA celebrity now!!

ps - the animation shows a closeup of Don_1's future home inside the asteroid!!

We're all very excited for you!!



Looks suspiciously like a spud to me.

"a closeup of Don_1's future home inside the asteroid!

Oh my! Can I take an automobile with me and a knife with a squiggley blade so I can cut out crinkley chips as I drive around, I don't want to be in car serrated on this astronomical spud to become half baked?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/07/2012 01:51:12
Motion is 99% of the law, Don_1.

What's the other 1%?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/07/2012 03:08:58
Hm. Stumped again (motioning wildly to my stats-asst.!)

I admit defeat, Astronaut-Barrister Don_1.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/07/2012 03:20:54
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.getseedy.co.uk%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F02%2Fgolden_spud_awards.jpg&hash=523c3bda534f4ceda36855fb85d57ded)

How does Don_1 do this?????
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 31/07/2012 03:25:57
Hm. Stumped again.

I admit defeat, Astronaut-Barrister Don_1.

I can hear crickets in demo's audience. No one would bat an eye lid at being bowled over by Don_1 (Bradman?). It seems he's been unable to give him the slip, and he's been caught out. What's the point you ask? Just trying to square this leg of the argument and put some spin on it.

Still not making sense? Well I am feeling a little mid-off today.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/07/2012 03:58:35

I can hear crickets in demo's audience.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fannzoid.com%2Fimages%2Fsmileys%2Fcrickets.gif&hash=25dd70b2e76481c49534c04d99b0eec5)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/07/2012 14:04:03

Still not making sense? Well I am feeling a little mid-off today.


Oh! Come, come. Don't be silly. It seems your punning ability know's no boundary. It is, after all, just what words are four. You composed this work all by yourself, but in doing so have been feeling a little six. You'll soon get over it and be running off more puns. You must try not to burn the candle at both ends. If the wick its in need of trimming, then do so, and by the grace of God, you'll be back on form.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/07/2012 14:11:28
Hm. Stumped again (motioning wildly to my stats-asst.!)

I admit defeat, Astronaut-Barrister Don_1.

Defeat stared him in the face, so did de toes and de ankles.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/07/2012 15:39:08
Don_1, I think that only a podiatrist can really understand defeat thoroughly.

And people like me with bad footwear truly suffer the agony of defeat.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/08/2012 00:07:23
August 1, 2012 is:
World Wide Web Day

A day that links us together.

Let's not build webs to deceive each other.

That could only lead to our URLy demise.

So let's not lose site of the basics!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/08/2012 05:31:07
Motion is 99% of the law, Don_1.

What's the other 1%?


e-motion?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 01/08/2012 05:35:24
Motion is 99% of the law, Don_1.

What's the other 1%?


e-motion?



flushing afterwards?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/08/2012 07:37:28
Isn't that b-motion? (BM)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/08/2012 11:42:43
Don_1, I think that only a podiatrist can really understand defeat thoroughly.

And people like me with bad footwear truly suffer the agony of defeat.


After coming out with all that old cobblers, at last you admit it. You must now feel that your sole has been heeled. Why eye let you carry on for so long I don't know. You must take more sustenance to replace your energy and give you the inner strength to continue to toe the line. Believe me, I have your best health uppermost in my mind.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/08/2012 11:44:37
August 1, 2012 is:
World Wide Web Day

A day that links us together.

Let's not build webs to deceive each other.

That could only lead to our URLy demise.

So let's not lose site of the basics!



And the net result of this will be?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/08/2012 11:47:14
Motion is 99% of the law, Don_1.

What's the other 1%?


e-motion?



You paint a pretty picture. What medium do you use? E-multion?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/08/2012 11:51:22
Motion is 99% of the law, Don_1.

What's the other 1%?


e-motion?



flushing afterwards?

He's very uncouth, you know, he has his motions on the lawn, but at least he hoses it down afterwards. He is responsible for the naming of 'Flushing Meadow'.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/08/2012 16:15:11

Don_1, I think that only a podiatrist can really understand defeat thoroughly.

And people like me with bad footwear truly suffer the agony of defeat.


After coming out with all that old cobblers, at last you admit it. You must now feel that your sole has been heeled. Why eye let you carry on for so long I don't know. You must take more sustenance to replace your energy and give you the inner strength to continue to toe the line. Believe me, I have your best health uppermost in my mind.

Shoerly you jest. I always take strength, and I'm not too horny these days. So overall, this is like a walk in the park!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/08/2012 17:09:50
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! PUT IT OUT, PUT IT OUT!!!!!!!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnetanimations.net%2FMoving-picture-100-dollar-bill-money-to-burn-animated-gif.gif&hash=fa408f9067f234dfbaa3dab97397ee7e)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.myemoticons.com%2Fimages%2Fwork-school%2Fcivil%2Ffireman-1.gif&hash=d597288a00760a97455d92dacfdcb9c7)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/08/2012 17:15:36

Don_1, I think that only a podiatrist can really understand defeat thoroughly.

And people like me with bad footwear truly suffer the agony of defeat.


After coming out with all that old cobblers, at last you admit it. You must now feel that your sole has been heeled. Why eye let you carry on for so long I don't know. You must take more sustenance to replace your energy and give you the inner strength to continue to toe the line. Believe me, I have your best health uppermost in my mind.

Shoerly you jest. I always take strength, and I'm not too horny these days. So overall, this is like a walk in the park!


I heard you like to keep in step with the times. An' kle me when you slipp eround for a coffee.

Ooo Owww, now I've got cramp on my knee.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/08/2012 20:49:54
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! PUT IT OUT, PUT IT OUT!!!!!!!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnetanimations.net%2FMoving-picture-100-dollar-bill-money-to-burn-animated-gif.gif&hash=fa408f9067f234dfbaa3dab97397ee7e)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.myemoticons.com%2Fimages%2Fwork-school%2Fcivil%2Ffireman-1.gif&hash=d597288a00760a97455d92dacfdcb9c7)

I had to EMPOWER your fireman!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/08/2012 22:04:21
August 1, 2012 is:
World Wide Web Day

A day that links us together.

Let's not build webs to deceive each other.

That could only lead to our URLy demise.

So let's not lose site of the basics!



And the net result of this will be?


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fassets.finda.co.nz%2Fimages%2Fthumb%2Fc%2F0%2Fs%2F4k5c0s%2F602x381%2Fwebtopia-limited.jpg&hash=4680eccfb1c6910b5174e39efec4cc98)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/08/2012 22:54:59

Don_1, I think that only a podiatrist can really understand defeat thoroughly.

And people like me with bad footwear truly suffer the agony of defeat.


After coming out with all that old cobblers, at last you admit it. You must now feel that your sole has been heeled. Why eye let you carry on for so long I don't know. You must take more sustenance to replace your energy and give you the inner strength to continue to toe the line. Believe me, I have your best health uppermost in my mind.

Shoerly you jest. I always take strength, and I'm not too horny these days. So overall, this is like a walk in the park!


I heard you like to keep in step with the times. An' kle me when you slipp eround for a coffee.

Ooo Owww, now I've got cramp on my knee.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.24-7pressrelease.com%2Fattachments%2F012%2Fpress_release_distribution_0122911_16678.jpg&hash=7142dba6dd49ed1e8a19c83add205bd9)

Don_1 wins the Senior Footwear Division Competition !!

Multi-faceted Don_1! Extreme Eclecticist Par Excellence!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/08/2012 04:01:49

Motion is 99% of the law, Don_1.



What's the other 1%?


E-motion?



You paint a pretty picture. What medium do you use? E-multion?


Whatever picture-medium (or small, or L, or XL) I feel E-ntitled to in the moment I will use.

If it gets to XXL, then E-verything E-lse must go on sale at E-bay!

Is E-verybody on board with this?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 02/08/2012 04:15:28
The other 1% of the law is e-munition.  Make my day!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/08/2012 05:31:20
E-musing, Donnah!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/08/2012 00:01:04
THIS PUNNING THREAD HAS NOW REACHED:

100 pages

Thanks, everyone, for all the fun!
Demo


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/08/2012 19:06:46
August is:
Happiness Happens Month
http://sohp.com/happiness-month-beginshow-celebrate/


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Faf33eeb2.jpg&hash=2f24e6a78cc79ce2278a82e03ff4c68b)


As a tailor, I had a measure of happiness because I was well suited to my job.



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 05/08/2012 04:30:23
Happuness is reaching page 100.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/08/2012 00:16:55

Happuness is reaching page 100.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmusingmommies.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F03%2F100.bmp&hash=55ccd0b33f7c45758a375e2c4d383770)


Awww, Donnah, you say it so well!! <wiping tears>

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/08/2012 22:11:50

I thought [National Psychic Week] had been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. It seems not though, I suppose it was on the cards.

Let's hope nothing gets stolen at the conference, I just hate nasty little tea leaves, don't you?

Last year there were complaints about the lack of air conditioning at the event. Attendees were heard to complain to the organisers. One said "Bloody phew! t' your air con, its too damn hot in here." His side kick echoed him. But there were few chairs left empty when the event started. During the morning break, medium roast coffee was served. One delegate threw his coffee on the ground in disgust. Another delegate asked "What did you do that for? tell me." Another asked for his beverage to be stirred, the waiter said "Go stir it yourself."

At lunch, a delegate with a cleft lip enquired as to the 'sooth oph the day'. He remarked it was a shame in this day and age that you cannot always tell witch flavour your food is. "Warlocks", Said the chef, who also had a hair lip. Wine was served with the main course. A dinner remarked on the plastic vessel the wine was served in, saying, "I would have expected, considering the price we have paid, the wine to be served in crystal." "Balls! said a rude waiter, "As trolls, oh gee you don't deserve crystal."

Many stars attended the conference. To their horror, scope of the conference was limited due to time constraints.

A satelite event was held just down the road in the 7th house on the left, but there seemed to be little spirit there, despite the main event being relayed to a plasma screen.

Organiser, Sue F Sayer said she can't remember how she coped with the organisation pre dictaphones, let alone laptops.

Belated congrats!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F-ubQP3UXKrqY%2FTd04dBgxEJI%2FAAAAAAAAADY%2FfpHhRAKRU4E%2Fs180%2FWWW%252BAward.gif&hash=73fd32645f7022e6bb6cb330ea77fbc6)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 07/08/2012 15:56:34
100 is the Pagan witch we are on. 

Is IQ the opposite of QI?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/08/2012 18:10:02
Dunno, Donnah, I raised my intelligence using my cranium.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 11/08/2012 15:30:34
Yours must be sky high!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/08/2012 19:32:26
Yes, Donnah, my head is usually in the clouds!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 13/08/2012 00:39:36
Do you have fog-brain then?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/08/2012 02:01:20

Do you have fog-brain then?


Yes, and I do a lot of brain storming.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 13/08/2012 06:55:03
Yes, Donnah, my head is usually in the clouds!

Come on demo, be cirrus! This thread has just become a cumulous of garbage since it turned a hundred, precipitating in anyone with a quick-witted and nimbis mind to storm out!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/08/2012 17:54:06

Yes, Donnah, my head is usually in the clouds!


Come on demo, be cirrus! This thread has just become a cumulous of garbage since it turned a hundred, precipitating in anyone with a quick-witted and nimbis mind to storm out!


Must you always drag along a nimbus to all those nice parades you attend?

Unlike you, I prefer a contributory attitude, you know, I look for the silver lining! Yes, there's beauty everywhere. Even in some of your writhing writings!

But alas I think you just prefer the stratus quo.





Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 14/08/2012 00:34:55
Who is raining on whose parade?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/08/2012 03:39:43


Who is raining on whose parade?


Nothing cirrus, Donnah

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 15/08/2012 15:51:17
I'm never cirrus, always walking around with my head in the clouds.  Does that mean I have a high IQ?

How do we know that the people creating IQ tests are smart?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/08/2012 04:40:47

I'm never cirrus, always walking around with my head in the clouds.  Does that mean I have a high IQ?


Your lofty ideals are all I care about.


How do we know that the people creating IQ tests are smart?


Or culturally biased? Someone from an entirely different culture could score poorly for that reason alone.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 16/08/2012 04:55:15
there once was a woman from mensa
whose test didn't make sense
so the kids tore it up
and left in a huff
saying "no more of this now and hence"

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/08/2012 05:01:45

there once was a woman from mensa
whose test didn't make sense
so the kids tore it up
and left in a huff
saying "no more of this now and hence"



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.welldog.com%2Fimages%2Fuploads%2Flogo%2Fiq_awards.jpg&hash=8df7287c9238678edced82d132ec58f5)

Donnah wins!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/08/2012 16:24:39
Mensa is an organization whose members have an IQ of 140 or higher. A
few years ago, there was a Mensa convention in San Francisco, and
several members lunched at a local cafe.

While dining, they discovered that their saltshaker contained pepper
and their pepper shaker was full of salt. How could they swap the
contents of the bottles without spilling, and using only the
implements at hand? Clearly this was a job for Mensa!

The group debated and presented ideas, and finally came up with a
brilliant solution involving a napkin, a straw, and an empty saucer.
They called the waitress over to dazzle her with their solution.

"Ma'am," they said, "we couldn't help but notice that the pepper
shaker contains salt and the salt shaker..."

"Oh," the waitress interrupted. "Sorry about that." She unscrewed the
caps of both bottles and switched them.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 17/08/2012 06:23:42
The waitress's solution was so simple, was her name Simone?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/08/2012 01:31:23
Yes.

Her married name is Sez.

Her little boy truly cares for Mom Sez!

Mrs. Sez is far more important and respected by her son than his loving but very laid back Dad, Simon.





(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fchzmemebase.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F02%2Finternet-memes-simon-says.jpg&hash=0831cda187728e2752d16efc5e7648d7)









Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 22/08/2012 21:00:09
Sez who?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/08/2012 05:03:21
What is the favorite game on Navy ships? Seaman Says.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/08/2012 01:30:16
What is the favorite game on Navy ships?

I don't know, but does the looser have to clean the poop deck?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/08/2012 03:07:14
Who over seas this?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/08/2012 18:02:32
Who over seas this?

Tele. No, not Tele Savalas, Tele Scope.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/08/2012 05:53:04
I sea.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/08/2012 06:05:16

Her married name is Sez.

Her little boy truly cares for Mom Sez!

Mrs. Sez is far more important and respected by her son than his loving but very laid back Dad, Simon.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fchzmemebase.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F02%2Finternet-memes-simon-says.jpg&hash=0831cda187728e2752d16efc5e7648d7)



Sez who?


I'm betting on the Mrs.

 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 27/08/2012 06:46:15
I sea.

Icy
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/08/2012 01:29:28
Dicey
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/09/2012 05:17:06
September, 2012 is:
Happy Cat Month

It's about time Odyn benefitted from our shenanigans!


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.webweaver.nu%2Fclipart%2Fimg%2Fnature%2Fcats%2Fhappy-cat.gif&hash=ea7224694ccae48b77b00780aa10e18d)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/09/2012 17:37:08
Purrfect.

Yes folks, I'm back.

I'm also side and front. Quite a lot of front actually. (*SIGH*)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/09/2012 03:15:44
Purrfect.

Yes folks, I'm back.

I'm also side and front. Quite a lot of front actually. (*SIGH*)



I understand, Don. When I stand in front of all my fans, I'm blown away!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/09/2012 09:46:01
Did your fans get wind of your impending arrival?


Look, here is a sigh:-

***SIGH***

And now, I shall reproduce an identical sigh:-

***SIGH***

Now you know what a sighclone looks like.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/09/2012 09:55:05
In the making of the above post, I had the assistance of Kane my Spanish aid, or as they say in Espania, 'aido'. unfortunately, in the making of said post, Enrico split his trousers (US = pants).

He is now known as 'Kane the torn aido'.

I told him no good would come of rushing to get the job done, 'Slow down', I said, 'there's no need to hurry Kane'.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 27/09/2012 14:48:50
If you slow down and don't Hurry Kane, I will be able to introduce  ....Sigh.... to ....Nora.... before you say goodbye! SIGH-A-NORA....May you always be together  when others have departed....Sighanora
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/09/2012 11:31:39
November is nearly upon us. Or rather, I should say 'Movember'.

Yes folks, this one is really for the boys, though I suppose there are the odd few females of the species who might join in.

ITS MOUSTACHE MONTH (http://uk.movember.com/about)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.emofaces.com%2Fen%2Femoticons%2Fm%2Fmustache-emoticon.gif&hash=bc6b6bafecbaedd6f5806b08fb09c23f)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/10/2012 06:25:38

ITS MOUSTACHE MONTH (http://uk.movember.com/about)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.emofaces.com%2Fen%2Femoticons%2Fm%2Fmustache-emoticon.gif&hash=bc6b6bafecbaedd6f5806b08fb09c23f)


A handlebar moustache may look ridiculous, but symmetrical eyelashes are even cilia.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 04/10/2012 07:13:12
I Donnah why but I’ve been researching the Demografx of the Punning thread and have decided that there comes a time when one has to Don_1’s community service hat and pay tribute to the contributers of the most popular thread that doesn’t have “orgasm” in its subject. Yor_on thin ice putting so much effort into a chat thread on a science forum, but it’s not all about biology and Chemistry. 4 Me it’s more about broadening horizon’s, Karen While sharin’ and not being Bored. Chemistry is just a bonus. We also have to Make it Lady friendly and not Grizel dangerously. Whether you neil epiphanously before the vast barren wasteland, throwing peppercorns at Hadrian’s wall, or whether you’re just a plain old Geezer like any Jim, Bob or Sean, Beware! I’m at faalt, I know, for not considering the Variol age of everyone here, but give me some LeeEway. It’s haRD being a constant breath of fresh air, thumbs up all the time. I don’t know how dave managed it. Or how that John Chap managed it either. All I know is that that dam oc lesbian kissing scene from quite a few years ago left much to be desired. Why did you have to, in a rage, od river phoenix?!? Now I’m just ranting, I know. But as it says in my bio, “wizard hats are nobodies biz” er, later guys.

Turns out you don’t have to have lots of posts to be a “too much free time level member”
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 04/10/2012 10:07:57
Amazing how you were not to bizerl ly occupied to use all of our names so well considering how imfamous some of us are!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/10/2012 10:56:59
So, its name 'em and shame 'em, is it?

..... how imfamous some of us are!

Infamy, infamy, they've all got it in for me!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/10/2012 02:34:11
"Intifada! Intifada!"

Don_1
ca. 2011-2012
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/10/2012 06:09:21
I Donnah why but I’ve been researching the Demografx of the Punning thread and have decided that there comes a time when one has to Don_1’s community service hat and pay tribute to the contributers of the most popular thread that doesn’t have “orgasm” in its subject. Yor_on thin ice putting so much effort into a chat thread on a science forum, but it’s not all about biology and Chemistry. 4 Me it’s more about broadening horizon’s, Karen While sharin’ and not being Bored. Chemistry is just a bonus. We also have to Make it Lady friendly and not Grizel dangerously. Whether you neil epiphanously before the vast barren wasteland, throwing peppercorns at Hadrian’s wall, or whether you’re just a plain old Geezer like any Jim, Bob or Sean, Beware! I’m at faalt, I know, for not considering the Variol age of everyone here, but give me some LeeEway. It’s haRD being a constant breath of fresh air, thumbs up all the time. I don’t know how dave managed it. Or how that John Chap managed it either. All I know is that that dam oc lesbian kissing scene from quite a few years ago left much to be desired. Why did you have to, in a rage, od river phoenix?!? Now I’m just ranting, I know. But as it says in my bio, “wizard hats are nobodies biz” er, later guys.

Turns out you don’t have to have lots of posts to be a “too much free time level member”


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmorningandotherstories.files.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F12%2Fmr-clever.gif%3Fw%3D400%26amp%3Bh%3D368&hash=c5b616c343745c44f99c3b7305c2e3e9)AND(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdi1.shopping.com%2Fimages%2Fpi%2F6b%2Fbc%2F6c%2F2000894908-200x200-0-0.jpg%3Fp%3Dp5.9aeaec6dcb7d6aad5bac%26amp%3Ba%3D2%26amp%3Bc%3D1%26amp%3Bl%3D8055916%26amp%3Bt%3D101027232033%26amp%3Br%3D3&hash=7a7c4da8728c32da28b6dec1fec3c51a)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/10/2012 14:50:48
Amazing how you were not too bizerl ly occupied to use all of our names so well considering how imfamous some of us are!

Too much free time!


EXHIBIT A


Turns out you don’t have to have lots of posts [say, around 100?] to be a “too much free time level member”





Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/10/2012 15:13:32

In the making of the above post, I had the assistance of Kane my Spanish aid, or as they say in Espania, 'aido'. unfortunately, in the making of said post,
Enrico split his trousers (US = pants).

He is now known as 'Kane the torn aido'.

I told him no good would come of rushing to get the job done, 'Slow down', I said, 'there's no need to hurry Kane'.



Perhaps Enrico twistered his trousers (US = pants)?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/10/2012 23:01:16
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.diffusiononline.co.uk%2Fimages%2Fproducts%2Fzoom%2F1332240438-12169300.jpg&hash=698405c6b863d991ea5ad91f8f120dc3)

Enrico's significant other.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/10/2012 13:10:08
Would her name be slack Alice?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/10/2012 06:52:44
She's not a slacker in my book!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 17/10/2012 22:42:37
She's using the power of chi, no sweat!

I would have thought her name was Jean(s).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/10/2012 00:56:46




I would have thought her name was Jean(s).


My tailor, a very nice guy, sews zippers on jeans.

He wouldn't hurt a fly.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/10/2012 23:30:38
What is the plural of 'jeans'?

I have a pair of jeans.....
I have two pairs of jeanses......

or

I have a pair of jean.....
I have two pair of jeans......

Why do I have a 'pair' of jeans, yet I do not have a 'pair' of shirts???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/10/2012 21:20:29

Why do I...not have a 'pair' of shirts???



I can lend you a couple shirts if you need 'em[;D]

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 21/10/2012 23:45:04
I have a pair of scissors. I took it apart and now I have a pair of knives.

I also have a pair of tweezers. Which is very important. Have you ever tried plucking a nostril hair with one tweezer?

if I was demografx i'd find a humorous picture of someone digging a piece of metal into their nose to insert here, but I'm not so I won't.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/10/2012 16:05:06

if I was [were] demografx i'd find a humorous picture of someone digging a piece of metal into their nose to insert here, but I'm not so I won't.


Someone called?...



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs1.hubimg.com%2Fu%2F614348_f520.jpg&hash=7e4deaa68570f84a9568f038844f4e5b)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/10/2012 08:54:52
After plucking the forest from his snout, he made a loud high pitch scream, it was a nose trill.

Perhaps he should do his chin next!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/10/2012 08:59:48
Come come folks, tell me, why should it be a 'pair' of trousers or a 'pair' of pants?

We don't have a pair of shirts or vests. Indeed, a vest is also known as a singlet.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/10/2012 09:02:33
We need a new thread here. Should it be in general science, mathematics or clap trap?

The question is 'What constitutes a pair?'
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/10/2012 16:07:00

The question is 'What constitutes a pair?'


1. <blush>

2. <giggle>

3. <tee hee>



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/10/2012 16:09:39
Come come folks, tell me, why should it be a 'pair' of trousers or a 'pair' of pants?

We don't have a pair of shirts or vests. Indeed, a vest is also known as a singlet.

Hmm. It appears to me that you seem to have a vested interest in the answer.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/10/2012 16:18:30

After plucking the forest from his snout, he made a loud high pitch scream, it was a nose trill.


Nostrildamus predicted that would happen!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/10/2012 20:48:24


After plucking the forest from his snout, he made a loud high pitch scream, it was a nose trill.


Oh no! Are we going back to the Nose Moking sign in the lavatory again? (See archives)

http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=31700.2025



Perhaps he should do his chin next!


Ouch! That's a chin chillah!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 06/11/2012 07:50:30
You wouldn't catch Odyn plucking his whiskers.  BTW, his nickname is Odie Doo, or Doo, so we call him Cat man Doo.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/11/2012 03:21:17
I nominate Donnah Poster Of The Month!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 07/11/2012 17:13:23
I'm no poster girl!!!!  er...ah...oh, you mean poster the verb, not poster the noun...well in that case, thank you!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/11/2012 16:38:36
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F_GbdBrEceVG4%2FTRyX1AoTbSI%2FAAAAAAAABrg%2FU9RcaLkzm1w%2Fs1600%2FDOYLE-obit-popup.jpg&hash=5fd7235d88f4c38f5ea09daef5dc26a6)

Thanks, Donnah! Our poster girl needs to be updated!

Maybe to Rosie The Riveter??
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 08/11/2012 19:11:34
My kind of woman!  (One with biceps.)  No princesses allowed in my girl's club.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 09/11/2012 05:27:43
If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 09/11/2012 17:52:56
Gasp!!! :0
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 12/11/2012 03:05:53
I seem to be at my wits' end.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/11/2012 03:58:33
If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?

No. You're the real thing.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/11/2012 04:07:27

I seem to be at my wits' end.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia-cdn.tripadvisor.com%2Fmedia%2Fphoto-s%2F01%2Fc2%2F9e%2Fd3%2Fwits-end-b-b-roundstone.jpg&hash=013f14f97cf17002e1b2f994ab2411e5)

Enjoy your stay, Donnah!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 17/11/2012 03:30:28
I wonder how they came up with that name for their B&B?

I'm going to postulate that they were in financial trouble, needed some income and were at their wit's end when they got the idea to have a B&B. 

Anybody else want to make up a story about it?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/11/2012 16:23:11
Donnah, the B&B started out as a...

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2C1710E6-FF66-4A75-AC92-752F7B9820F8-439-00000059435BD88C.jpg&hash=edbae5837ee3cddce8059a294332da82).................

But they ran out of barley and hops, so they re-decorated and opened a B&B!

Instead of brewed coffee in the room each morning, there's a nice cold draft waiting for you in the B & B fridge !!



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/11/2012 13:22:09
But don't drink too much, or you might find yourself coming to the end of your world........
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theworldsend.co.uk%2Fimages%2Ffront.jpg&hash=a74e4bcdc57dd87610953e02601c6215)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/11/2012 13:24:04
If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?
If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?
If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?
If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?

Does this make me a four poster?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 22/11/2012 02:49:17
Don_1 de Mark of four poster.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 22/11/2012 02:50:47
Donnah, the B&B started out as a...

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2C1710E6-FF66-4A75-AC92-752F7B9820F8-439-00000059435BD88C.jpg&hash=edbae5837ee3cddce8059a294332da82).................

But they ran out of barley and hops, so they re-decorated and opened a B&B!

Instead of brewed coffee in the room each morning, there's a nice cold draft waiting for you in the B & B fridge !!





So that's wit's brewing!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/11/2012 21:28:49
But don't drink too much, or you might find yourself coming to the end of your world........

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theworldsend.co.uk%2Fimages%2Ffront.jpg&hash=a74e4bcdc57dd87610953e02601c6215)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthecosmiccauldron.net.au%2FEarth_on_Fire_Animated.gif&hash=f8e568c6b9645080ab84cb74113692be)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fjeffpelline.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Fmrbill1.jpg&hash=eb3872a45498b1ba6bd079b1acf5d04f)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/11/2012 21:59:40

So that's wit's brewing!


Yes! As you may have heard on the news, when some underwear fell in the vat at the beer-makers, a scandal was brewing!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/11/2012 22:18:11
If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?
If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?
If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?
If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?

Does this make me a four poster?


When I sleep surrounded by a four poster bed, I cannot py!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 22/11/2012 23:27:09
If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?
If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?
If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?
If I'm against posting, does that make me an imposter?

Does this make me a four poster?


When I sleep surrounded by a four poster bed, I cannot py!


Demo, I'm not sure what your intent is. You should check bivore u accost me with such swaggeringly incoherent words such as "py". A stretchier use of the inglish language, I have not scene!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/11/2012 23:59:45

Demo, I'm not sure what your intent is...with such... incoherent words such as "py".


Why must I suffer de feet at de hands of bizerl?

Is there no respite? No shelter??

But he's talented. I wonder if he plays the pyano?

I bet he thinks he's a gynius.







Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 23/11/2012 01:05:54
Perhaps sleep will come when you REMove the light by drawing the curtains.  Or you could take a pill oh.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 23/11/2012 01:11:24
But don't drink too much, or you might find yourself coming to the end of your world........

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theworldsend.co.uk%2Fimages%2Ffront.jpg&hash=a74e4bcdc57dd87610953e02601c6215)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthecosmiccauldron.net.au%2FEarth_on_Fire_Animated.gif&hash=f8e568c6b9645080ab84cb74113692be)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fjeffpelline.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Fmrbill1.jpg&hash=eb3872a45498b1ba6bd079b1acf5d04f)



Are you suggesting that we should Treadwell in life? 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/11/2012 02:21:30

Perhaps sleep will come when you REMove the light by drawing the curtains.  Or you could take a pill oh.


Every waking moment, I dream of the day when a pill oh some kind of medication will bring deep sleep relief.

Otherwise it's curtains for me.

But I refuse to REModel my life just to snore more.



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 26/11/2012 22:03:59
You could try reciting the alpha beta in your mind.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/11/2012 00:07:12
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/11/2012 00:08:18
It worked! Just like counting sheep!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 28/11/2012 00:27:11
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpsych0omantis.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Falpha_beta.png&hash=fcc8d62381537e6b1e2889f8d03796ee)
Looks like you've had quite an AB work-out! What did you use? The ABGamma-niser?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/11/2012 18:48:35

Looks like you've had quite an AB work-out! What did you use? The ABGamma-niser?


Life in the delta doesn't include fancy equipment like that.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/11/2012 18:56:55

Don_1 de Mark of four poster.


How romantic! As is the florist who likes two-lips.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/11/2012 11:01:32
Not so romantic is the florist who likes croc arse!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.adrbulbs.com%2F_ccLib%2Fimage%2Fplants%2FFRNT-592.jpg&hash=44960261368c9a0a2b0cd45cdf00140c)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/11/2012 11:05:08
A florist asked me, "what's your favourite (US = favorite) flower?"

I replied, "Self raising."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/11/2012 11:07:36
On seeing a hedgehog, a fox said to his mate, "Look at that, a meal with built in tooth picks."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/11/2012 12:52:32
Not so romantic is the florist who likes croc arse!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.adrbulbs.com%2F_ccLib%2Fimage%2Fplants%2FFRNT-592.jpg&hash=44960261368c9a0a2b0cd45cdf00140c)

I'm amazed that something so pretty has a name like that!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/11/2012 13:07:00
On seeing a hedgehog, a fox said to his mate, "Look at that, a meal with built in tooth picks."

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F24.media.tumblr.com%2Ftumblr_kyq2yz5HNM1qb5udjo1_400.jpg&hash=0aaad545e1143047e9f07354d7c3c9a5)

I had to look it up to see what you meant.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/11/2012 13:50:20
An angler picked up his rod and went to the toilet saying "I'm going for a carp."

I'm not sure if he was a lousy fisherman or dyslexic.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/11/2012 17:15:01
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.worldoflongmire.com%2Ffeatures%2Fjunkmail%2Ftoiletfish.JPG&hash=2a5de93b4d00a363e2c1cb7e39ba66f1)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/11/2012 17:16:56

An angler picked up his rod and went to the toilet saying "I'm going for a carp."

I'm not sure if he was a lousy fisherman or dyslexic.

Two anglers were having a discussion and opened quite a can of worms.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/11/2012 17:32:28
A florist asked me, "what's your favourite (US = favorite) flower?"

I replied, "Self raising."

You left out
(China = 喜愛)

We Never Know If They Are Peeking* At Our Punning!

*now Beijing
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/11/2012 17:52:14


We Never Know If They Are Peeking*

Peeking DUCK!!! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.picgifs.com%2Fsmileys%2Fsmileys-and-emoticons%2Fplane%2Fsmileys-plane-213619.gif&hash=1c3f9b392704f7ed33e286406b5c9fc4)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/11/2012 17:54:15


You left out
(China = 喜愛)


I never leave them out, after all, I have shy knees.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/11/2012 17:55:21

An angler picked up his rod and went to the toilet saying "I'm going for a carp."

I'm not sure if he was a lousy fisherman or dyslexic.

Two anglers were having a discussion and opened quite a can of worms.

Ha ha..... see, I knew you would take the bait.

Yes sirreee bob, ya fell fer it hook, line & sinker.

You can only blame yourself for creating a rod for your back. The net result of this will be, you will have to visit your local sturgeon.

Still, so long as he doesn't have a silly name like Mit Romney or Newt Gingrich.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/11/2012 18:11:38
So long folks.....

( que music, Rossini's 'William Tell Overture')

Who was that man???

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thelonearrangers.com%2Fimages%2Fsmilies%2Flone_ranger.gif&hash=8d2412a04becc4d10dc39404bf4197ec)

Just some brainless moron.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/11/2012 20:20:45


We Never Know If They Are Peeking*

Peeking DUCK!!! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.picgifs.com%2Fsmileys%2Fsmileys-and-emoticons%2Fplane%2Fsmileys-plane-213619.gif&hash=1c3f9b392704f7ed33e286406b5c9fc4)

Duck everyone! Run for cover! Pilot-Don_1 is out with his plane!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/12/2012 01:14:11

An angler picked up his rod and went to the toilet saying "I'm going for a carp."

I'm not sure if he was a lousy fisherman or dyslexic.

Two anglers were having a discussion and opened quite a can of worms.

Ha ha..... see, I knew you would take the bait.

Yes sirreee bob, ya fell fer it hook, line & sinker.

You can only blame yourself for creating a rod for your back. The net result of this will be, you will have to visit your local sturgeon.

Still, so long as he doesn't have a silly name like Mit Romney or Newt Gingrich.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F_sVICMuQY3aQ%2FTHB7G5mn55I%2FAAAAAAAABeA%2FAOtW3ppQFxo%2Fs1600%2Fgortontrophy.jpg&hash=0ceea861f7e5cf24802171670bae646f)

For Don...oh, wait...they left out the "D"!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 02/12/2012 21:24:21

An angler picked up his rod and went to the toilet saying "I'm going for a carp."

I'm not sure if he was a lousy fisherman or dyslexic.

Two anglers were having a discussion and opened quite a can of worms.

Ha ha..... see, I knew you would take the bait.

Yes sirreee bob, ya fell fer it hook, line & sinker.

You can only blame yourself for creating a rod for your back. The net result of this will be, you will have to visit your local sturgeon.

Still, so long as he doesn't have a silly name like Mit Romney or Newt Gingrich.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F_sVICMuQY3aQ%2FTHB7G5mn55I%2FAAAAAAAABeA%2FAOtW3ppQFxo%2Fs1600%2Fgortontrophy.jpg&hash=0ceea861f7e5cf24802171670bae646f)

For Don...oh, wait...they left out the "D"!!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fus.123rf.com%2F400wm%2F400%2F400%2Fchudtsankov%2Fchudtsankov1004%2Fchudtsankov100400811%2F6905719-funny-cartoons-alphabet-detective-with-letters-d.jpg&hash=40ff1f98e2d6e7b78936f6156f82f516)

There ya go Don.

Ooh! I feel like Demografx now!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/12/2012 22:43:14
Yes! bizerl feels the POWER now! [:)]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 03/12/2012 03:55:25
I'm watching the fish from my perch.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 03/12/2012 04:16:12
I'm watching the fish from my perch.

Must be a parrotfish then.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/12/2012 16:45:29
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fus.123rf.com%2F400wm%2F400%2F400%2Fchudtsankov%2Fchudtsankov1004%2Fchudtsankov100400811%2F6905719-funny-cartoons-alphabet-detective-with-letters-d.jpg&hash=40ff1f98e2d6e7b78936f6156f82f516)

There ya go Don.

Ooh! I feel like Demografx now!

Could I have the hat to go with it please?

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-basic%2Fdunce.gif&hash=525de6170c79cc83fa09cd877f378397) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/12/2012 16:46:50
I'm watching the fish from my perch.

Must be a parrotfish then.



No, I think its definately a pearch.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/12/2012 16:51:25
I'm watching the fish from my perch.

Must be a parrotfish then.



No, I think its definately a pearch.

And now for the French version:-

Non, Monsewer. Cest definatamond un Pearsch.

La Fin
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/12/2012 17:03:39
I get the feeling there's something fishy going on here.

Please no pictures of a cat with an aqualung, entitled 'Catfish' or it will be a slap with a wet kipper for you.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fl.nmimg.net%2Fch%2Fsmilies%2Ffighting59.gif&hash=af7b426a1e9a05e30cfc4c4c867cc0ff)

Is a wet kipper someone who falls asleep in the bath?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/12/2012 19:59:52
I'm watching the fish from my perch.

A pet store had a bird contest with no perches necessary.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 04/12/2012 00:16:14
Water you saying?  I don't speak fish.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/12/2012 04:43:24
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm1.static.flickr.com%2F113%2F303487434_246dd7dac0.jpg&hash=86bb61f36df646ce7707deca00661c25)

It's never too late to learn, Donnah!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/12/2012 14:51:30
White fish speak with fishfork tongue.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/12/2012 15:01:26
I'm watching the fish from my perch.

A pet store had a bird contest with no perches necessary.


Is there a porpoise for you mentioning this? We were having a whale of a time with puns of a marine nature.

Anyone for fish & chips? Or would you prefer your potatoes dolphinoise?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/12/2012 15:14:40
You're right, Don_1, my behavior above was indeed fishy. Just don't throw me the bird. Please!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/12/2012 16:27:00
Alright, I'll let you off this time, but any more deviation and I'll have you up before the beak.

Oops, I've done it myself. The scales of justice beckon. I may have to pay a fine.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fth216.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc220%2Fdiezelpower%2Fth_judge.gif&hash=1d017e96510abafbfbd604b44ad8c222) "Is this the first time you've been up before me?"

I don't know m'lud, what time do you usually get up?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 04/12/2012 23:05:53
I'm usually day-lighted to get up.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/12/2012 00:54:08
I'm usually green-lighted to make the bed.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/12/2012 17:03:43
Green is the colour of envy.

Envy ran off to Gretna Green to get married............. Envy lope.

The priest said, "Letters pray."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 05/12/2012 18:36:37
Letters pray indeed!  What a post!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/12/2012 19:07:03
Letters pray indeed!

1.   If we canteloupe lettuce marry!

2.   Ever tried honeymoon salad? It's lettuce alone.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/12/2012 19:29:01
December, 2012 is:
Awareness Month of Awareness Months Month


Were YOU caught unawares?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/12/2012 11:06:54
Were YOU caught unawares?

I have occasionally been caught in my underwear.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/12/2012 11:23:45
Are you aware that July is national eye injury prevention month?

So this month, be aware that you can poke yourself in the eye with a sharp stick without fear of recrimination.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/12/2012 17:15:14
Thank you, Don_1, EYE now consider myself fully informed.

By the way, have you seen the EYEfel Tower?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/12/2012 17:25:35
Were YOU caught unawares?

I have occasionally been caught in my underwear.



1000 pairs of underwear were stolen, police were making a brief enquiry.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/12/2012 17:36:38
Alright, I'll let you off this time, but any more deviation and I'll have you up before the beak.

Oops, I've done it myself. The scales of justice beckon. I may have to pay a fine.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fth216.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc220%2Fdiezelpower%2Fth_judge.gif&hash=1d017e96510abafbfbd604b44ad8c222) "Is this the first time you've been up before me?"

I don't know m'lud, what time do you usually get up?

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gifs.net%2FAnimation11%2FJobs_and_People%2FJustice_System%2FScale_4.gif&hash=773840afd375facbfefeab43f519905a)

The Award Scales are tipped in Don_1's favor!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/12/2012 22:53:16
Thank you, Don_1, EYE now consider myself fully informed.

By the way, have you seen the EYEfel Tower?

Yes, I've seen it, I even went up it, though I was still a tad nervous in case Ifell off it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/12/2012 22:54:52
Alright, I'll let you off this time, but any more deviation and I'll have you up before the beak.

Oops, I've done it myself. The scales of justice beckon. I may have to pay a fine.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fth216.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fcc220%2Fdiezelpower%2Fth_judge.gif&hash=1d017e96510abafbfbd604b44ad8c222) "Is this the first time you've been up before me?"

I don't know m'lud, what time do you usually get up?

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gifs.net%2FAnimation11%2FJobs_and_People%2FJustice_System%2FScale_4.gif&hash=773840afd375facbfefeab43f519905a)

The Award Scales are tipped in Don_1's favor!

You seem to be making some very balanced posts, these days.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/12/2012 14:55:14
Are you leveling with me?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 11/12/2012 04:04:21
Are you leveling with me?
In a laser fair sort of way he is.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/12/2012 23:43:57
Don't worry, he'll reply within 6 - 8 weeks. No longer, usually. Zzzzzzzzzzzz.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/12/2012 23:45:43
(Air mail costs more).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/12/2012 12:35:03
Don't worry, he'll reply within 6 - 8 weeks. No longer, usually. Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

WAKE UP!!!!

What's the big idea? Sleeping on the job!

Are you leveling with me?

I scaled many a mountain, ford many a stream and pound many roads to come up with that pun. I knew I had to find one quick or kilover in the attempt. I met Rick on my travels, who helped me find it. "Weight", he said as a beam crossed his face, "I'll come with you." Later, we met Graham on the road, who also came along, for good measure.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 13/12/2012 21:10:44
I scaled many a mountain, ford many a stream and pound many roads to come up with that pun. I knew I had to find one quick or kilover in the attempt. I met Rick on my travels, who helped me find it. "Weight", he said as a beam crossed his face, "I'll come with you." Later, we met Graham on the road, who also came along, for good measure.

Oh my, this is a New tone for you, Don. At first I thought it a ficKel vintage of punning but you surPas calibre of any sort with Watt you write!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/12/2012 02:53:40
Don't worry, he'll reply within 6 - 8 weeks. No longer, usually. Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

WAKE UP!!!!

What's the big idea? Sleeping on the job!



NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID, DON_1.

YOU STARTLED ODYN!!

Have you no shame?

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.our-happy-cat.com%2Fimage-files%2F54183697andreas-dsmall.jpg&hash=9dcda17f992aa64b065a1d2fe9dccfdb)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/12/2012 15:23:45
Yikes!!! Sorry Odin.

Perhaps I should sing to him to calm him down.

I'll try this old Irish ode in G major and dress up as a Viking.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cool-smileys.com%2Fimages%2F2085.gif&hash=82e8154bfb2ab4b1b86204600a8124c9) (http://www.cool-smileys.com/singing-shouting-smiley) (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2F1%2F13%2FG-major_e-minor.svg%2F120px-G-major_e-minor.svg.png&hash=7eefb825365bb2f7f552c6bb8ae7eb3b) Ode inny boy, the pipes the pipes are calling.....
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/12/2012 15:35:16
Maybe I should try something by Cat Stevens.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWT2qHVftGk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWT2qHVftGk)

Oops, that's put the cat among the pigeons.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/12/2012 21:30:15
Yikes!!! Sorry Odin.

Perhaps I should sing to him to calm him down.

I'll try this old Irish ode in G major and dress up as a Viking.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cool-smileys.com%2Fimages%2F2085.gif&hash=82e8154bfb2ab4b1b86204600a8124c9) (http://www.cool-smileys.com/singing-shouting-smiley) (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2F1%2F13%2FG-major_e-minor.svg%2F120px-G-major_e-minor.svg.png&hash=7eefb825365bb2f7f552c6bb8ae7eb3b) Ode inny boy, the pipes the pipes are calling.....

VERY IMPRESSIVE MUSICAL POST! Signatures and all!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fuserserve-ak.last.fm%2Fserve%2F_%2F82854215%2FNRJ%2BMusic%2BAwards%2B2012.png&hash=8f4bb145babd42c58ba20c88bd02af76)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/12/2012 21:32:31
Maybe I should try something by Cat Stevens.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWT2qHVftGk (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWT2qHVftGk)

Oops, that's put the cat among the pigeons.

"I love my...........dog"???????

Odyn will NOT be thrilled, I guarantee that!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/12/2012 22:10:17
Can YOU guess what upcoming day of observance is:
*****December 25, 2012*****?











Wrong!

It is...






*****A'Phabet Day or No "L" Day*****



.....And when the last day of March is over, I will have yet more (har har) foolishness...er, I mean EVEN BETTER APRIL CLEVERNESS TO FOOL OFFER YOU!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/12/2012 15:23:01
Tried to trick me eh! I know I can 'L' as much as I want throughout the day, its just the first no 'L'.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/12/2012 15:36:28
Imagine the confusion if there were no 'L's for the entire day!!!

The 'Messiah' by Georg Friedrich Hände woud be in bother when it comes to the 'Haeujah' chorus.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/12/2012 01:15:55
I disagree, Don_1. I see it as a day when osses like me gain dignity.

With no atitude or ongitude tuit.

How can anyone hate an oser?

An ikely scenario! Patton, too!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/12/2012 01:26:02
Tried to trick me eh! I know I can 'L' as much as I want throughout the day, its just the first no 'L'.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.davidburt.co.uk%2Fyesterday%2Fimages%2Flaughinghyena.gif&hash=60dfd74d8d12ef9d18b57037810c82e7)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/12/2012 04:38:13

I know I can 'L' as much as I want throughout the day...


Don't forget how embarrassed you were last year - same no-L day behavior - when you finally found out there was a video of that entire day. (Sorry to hear it went viral, CNN, BBC, etc.!)

I will still vote for you as King of UK, with annual tithing you lovingly offered me (under your most empathetic, and gentle, suggestion of "happy waterboarding, demo!").

But money trumps all: you will have your final blackmail payment on December 24, 2012. I understand that Sonny "Santa" Goombah ('The Enforcer') will warmly collect funds ("or ese"... if it falls on No "L" Day).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 20/12/2012 03:40:50
Demo, aren't you forgetting that the word (the first no-L, the angels did say) is supposed to end on the 21st?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/12/2012 17:55:13
Uh oh, Donnah!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs.evemarket.info%2Fimages%2Fgnome%2F256x256%2Femotes%2Fface-embarrassed.png&hash=0052f75b5b359ce60df5933095ff6ba1)

I bet I get a demotion over this [:)]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/12/2012 18:18:18
Last year, I ate so much over the holidays that I decided to quit cold turkey.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 20/12/2012 21:03:17
When someone suggested I quit cold turkey, I told them to get stuffed.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 20/12/2012 21:22:41
I tried to quit cold turkey, but I was too chicken.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/12/2012 23:30:34
The chicken went to the middle of the road.

She was going to lay it on the line.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 21/12/2012 00:54:46
I knew a chicken that liked sitting on people's shoulders. The UN took it to peace talks to demonstrate to warring nations how to lay down their arms.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/12/2012 16:03:46
With our Granddaughter being the focus of attention for Xmas, it was decided that we would only buy each other one Xmas present. I've bought the wife a shoe. She'll get the other one next year.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/12/2012 16:05:05
I fancy a goose for Xmas this year, but looks like I'll have to make do with the wife as usual.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/12/2012 16:17:37
It seems our daughter is up the duff again. So I shall tell our son-in-law he is to have parsnips.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/12/2012 00:07:22

I fancy a goose for Xmas this year, but looks like I'll have to make do with the wife as usual.


Don_1 was entering an antique shop: “Good evening. Do you mind if I take a gander around the shop?” to which the shopkeeper replies, “No, as long as it’s housetrained.”
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/12/2012 01:49:34

I've bought the wife a shoe. She'll get the other one next year.


One of those new shoes isn't right.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/12/2012 02:07:40


I knew a chicken that liked sitting on people's shoulders.

The UN took it to peace talks to demonstrate to warring nations how to lay down their arms.


The UN also demonstrates that trench warfare should always be seen as a last ditch effort.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/12/2012 06:50:58

When someone suggested I quit cold turkey, I told them to get stuffed.


But if you tell a soldier to get stuffed with ice cream he'd be a desserter.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/12/2012 20:22:42
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgraphics.comments.funmunch.com%2Fholidays%2Fchristmas%2Fchristmas_comment_graphic_02.gif&hash=4dc6f49b3d3ea3c445c92f9c9475715e)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 24/12/2012 05:51:42

I've bought the wife a shoe. She'll get the other one next year.


One of those new shoes isn't right.

That's because he left it until next year.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/12/2012 06:04:16

I've bought the wife a shoe. She'll get the other one next year.


One of those new shoes isn't right.


That's because he left it until next year.


As usual, Donnah is...right! [:)]

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.animationplayhouse.com%2Fblueshoe.gif&hash=10fafa9ef53f09054e145e023b742c3d)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 28/12/2012 18:44:52
Demo, please tell that to my husband.  Whenever I say something, all he hears is "blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah".
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/12/2012 21:04:37
Hmmm...that's what EYE usually hear when my.......ohnevermind [:)]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/12/2012 19:48:08
It seems our daughter is up the duff again. So I shall tell our son-in-law he is to have parsnips.

Did you mean your son-in-law is to meet with Father Manny Cohen?????


Father Manny Cohen is the priest/rabbi of a bi-religious church/synagogue. He performs confessions, christenings, bar mitzvahs and circumcisions. He is affectionately known as Par Snips.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/12/2012 04:50:10
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcalconews.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F12%2Fnew%2Byear%2Banimated%2Bgif.gif&hash=44d6fdbd71f911b37eb320d740c4635a)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/12/2012 04:59:58

China's satellite will go into orbit on January 1st causing a New Year's revolution.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/01/2013 01:46:29
May the thingamajig of whatsisname be among you, behind you, in front of you and....... Oi!!! Get out of there.

'Tis the begining of a new year...... or is it???????????
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/01/2013 01:48:42

China's satellite will go into orbit on January 1st causing a New Year's revolution.

That should be a turn up for the books.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/01/2013 01:52:37

China's satellite will go into orbit on January 1st causing a New Year's revolution.

What happened then? Did they manage it, or bit off more than they could Jimmy chew?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/01/2013 05:05:34
This all revolves around a shady character, Yu Win.

Again.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/01/2013 10:13:23
Mr Yu is standing for election to the Peoples Party.

You can expect a circular through your letter box any day now.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/01/2013 13:32:45
Today is National Bubble Bath Day.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fassets1.punchbowl.com%2Fcelebration_images%2Fp0000%2F0676%2Frtc_january_8_full.png%3F1325880501&hash=a4685beff06c17140f7fe880d0b48850)

Kindly use a proprietry Bubble Bath solution rather than making your own bubbles. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileyshack.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F12%2Fsfart_100-107.gif&hash=5bb04a0115312d6ee01d2802ef797057)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/01/2013 20:43:22
What is he bubbling on about now?

Unlike me, those who daydream in the bath tub are wishy-washy.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 11/01/2013 13:20:10
Are you suggesting I am prone to inane clap-trap? I'll have you know I am an upright member of the community, known for being upwardly mobile and would never comprise any such nonsense.

Oh, I don't know though, on the other hand, four fingers and a thumb.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 11/01/2013 14:17:40
Kindly be prepared for the great event of the year.

I refer, of course, to that celebration of the great Englishman Stan Laurel and his equally great American partner Oliver Hardy.

Yes folks its

National Cuckoo Dancing Week

Are you ready? go (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snnCKVFzjHE)

WHOOPEEEEEeeeeee
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/01/2013 22:29:41
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sotd.org%2Fgraphics%2F2_1.gif&hash=87f2e856af8dffca492684467757c3f8)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/01/2013 22:40:12
Are you suggesting I am prone to inane clap-trap? I'll have you know I am an upright member of the community, known for being upwardly mobile and would never comprise any such nonsense.

Oh, I don't know though, on the other hand, four fingers and a thumb.

The Tallest Building Award To Don_1!

<applause>

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmanonthelam.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F11%2FThe-tallest-building-in-the-world-Burj-Khalifa-Dubai-UAE_thumb.jpg&hash=c55023cd470a16d17c681f2a15c0f7b6)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/01/2013 23:27:56
Kindly be prepared for the great event of the year.

I refer, of course, to that celebration of the great Englishman Stan Laurel and his equally great American partner Oliver Hardy.

Yes folks its

National Cuckoo Dancing Week

Are you ready? go (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snnCKVFzjHE)

WHOOPEEEEEeeeeee

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia-cache-ec2.pinterest.com%2Fupload%2F107171666102316880_B5Xk9eAy_b.jpg&hash=4a7776726789b65e1f4af0d2912d9e98)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimagecache6.allposters.com%2FLRG%2F16%2F1680%2FIB71D00Z.jpg&hash=29167ca3d7ab7e2debbf45c5a461dec9)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/01/2013 07:52:09
This all revolves around a shady character, Yu Win.

Again.


Mr Yu is standing for election to the Peoples Party.

You can expect a circular through your letter box any day now.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F_E1j8gmCIr9w%2FTRkTnGRJbJI%2FAAAAAAAAI8c%2FAavOekT_BmQ%2Fs1600%2FYourWinAgain-BigBanner.jpg&hash=08fb1068cd696928808fbae3730b4a7c)

Mr. Yu cashed in franchise-like: he sold his name to the Bee Gees!

And sold it cleverly to the Late Hank Williams Estate!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F_Gbj0mpn5XyA%2FSW2GygJaQFI%2FAAAAAAAACWc%2FQz89KvHlkAo%2Fs400%2Fwinagain.jpg&hash=bba54e3cb87ce811c0edec53bef753bd)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/01/2013 13:31:09
Are you suggesting I am prone to inane clap-trap? I'll have you know I am an upright member of the community, known for being upwardly mobile and would never comprise any such nonsense.

Oh, I don't know though, on the other hand, four fingers and a thumb.

The Tallest Building Award To Don_1!

<applause>

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmanonthelam.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F11%2FThe-tallest-building-in-the-world-Burj-Khalifa-Dubai-UAE_thumb.jpg&hash=c55023cd470a16d17c681f2a15c0f7b6)


I suppose you could that's a "Tall storey"

You shard (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Shard) have known that would be my response.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/01/2013 15:52:50
The shady building contractor wanted to sell me an inferior shard deal, but I could see right through it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/01/2013 16:06:17

You shard* (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Shard) have known that would be my response.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA0AFD13C-449E-4B89-9E3E-AE8FE8AAA6ED-161-00000017FD16D2C6.jpg&hash=31faa5904f1a752917ec9dcac83a13f1)

The Shard in May 2012
London, England
Tallest in European Union since 2011



*for those of us who are too lazy to click on Don_1's link.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/01/2013 00:20:53
January, 2013 is:
Apple and Apricots Month
http://www.cdc.gov/nutrition/everyone/fruitsvegetables/index.html

Who is the apple of YOUR eye?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/01/2013 03:01:06
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.lesclaypool.com%2Fimg%2Fsplash-apricot-large.jpg&hash=c2456b127d8737044e5add317bd9a722)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clipartpoint.com%2F_Picture%255CWeb%2520Objects%255CPhotos%255CPRODUCE%255CAPRICOT.JPG&hash=54bb02cdb58a539d6d8978e63fcd4300)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/01/2013 03:57:50
Today is National Bubble Bath Day.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fassets1.punchbowl.com%2Fcelebration_images%2Fp0000%2F0676%2Frtc_january_8_full.png%3F1325880501&hash=a4685beff06c17140f7fe880d0b48850)

Kindly use a proprietary Bubble Bath solution rather than making your own bubbles. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileyshack.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F12%2Fsfart_100-107.gif&hash=5bb04a0115312d6ee01d2802ef797057)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftoms3dtech.com%2F0_anim%2F09.gif&hash=8b2cb1d0ec42e61f45184ac2a6bcf0c6)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/01/2013 08:56:35
January, 2013 is:
Apple and Apricots Month
http://www.cdc.gov/nutrition/everyone/fruitsvegetables/index.html

Who is the apple of YOUR eye?



With reference to the apples:-

M'lud, I can say without fear of contradiction, I have no apples in my eye. Irist my case.

Core...... its enough to give you the pip.


As for the apricots:-

What comes apricots? A childs bed. (Après cots)

I quite like a little fruit mixed in my salad. Apple goes well with either Lettuce or Chard.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/01/2013 09:09:33
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.lesclaypool.com%2Fimg%2Fsplash-apricot-large.jpg&hash=c2456b127d8737044e5add317bd9a722)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clipartpoint.com%2F_Picture%255CWeb%2520Objects%255CPhotos%255CPRODUCE%255CAPRICOT.JPG&hash=54bb02cdb58a539d6d8978e63fcd4300)

Electric apricots??? Watt is this producer doing plugging these? It's shocking. Wire would anyone want to eat such energy wasting fruit? They must rate very low on the green gage.

Do they have a very low voltage, or range into the higher voltages?

Which reminds me, I was once asked to stand up and sing 'Oh my darling Clemantine'. Everyone boo'ed so I sat suma than I expected.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/01/2013 17:26:24

Electric apricots??? Watt is this producer doing plugging these? It's shocking. Wire would anyone want to eat such energy wasting fruit? They must rate very low on the green gage.

Do they have a very low voltage, or range into the higher voltages?

Which reminds me, I was once asked to stand up and sing 'Oh my darling Clemantine'. Everyone boo'ed so I sat suma than I expected.
January, 2013 is:
Apple and Apricots Month
http://www.cdc.gov/nutrition/everyone/fruitsvegetables/index.html

Who is the apple of YOUR eye?



With reference to the apples:-

M'lud, I can say without fear of contradiction, I have no apples in my eye. Irist my case.

Core...... its enough to give you the pip.


As for the apricots:-

What comes apricots? A childs bed. (Après cots)

I quite like a little fruit mixed in my salad. Apple goes well with either Lettuce or Chard.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.lrhsd.org%2Fcms%2Flib05%2FNJ01000316%2FCentricity%2FDomain%2F155%2Ffruits%2Ffruitsintro.jpg&hash=a662d66455331a555030e0d3556516f8)

Don_1, my sincerest congratulations: I came up "empty" for  apricot puns, searching high and low on the internet! Dunno how you did it!

My search was fruitless.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 16/01/2013 00:16:45
Orange you glad that Don_1 compoted such an electric remark?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/01/2013 00:49:14
My appologies Donnah, unlike Demo, I do not have any awards to hand out, but you can av a car do. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pixelmansion.com%2Findex.php%3FPHPSESSID%3D26d047e7d44743edb58b51d5288efe39%26amp%3Baction%3Ddlattach%3Btopic%3D163.0%3Battach%3D1253%3Bimage&hash=a1c1f6f117d027f1117129fe6a66d0a9)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/01/2013 00:52:50

My search was fruitless.


You should have sought the assistance of a pear of nuts, but all I could hear was you pine, "Apple, I need a fruit PUN, not a fruit BUN".
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/01/2013 00:56:12
Orange you glad that Don_1 compoted such an electric remark?

I too often speak to my kitchen utensils.

"Com pot and you pan, we have pudding to make."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/01/2013 03:59:03
Orange you glad that Don_1 compoted such an electric remark?

Yes, and I am now most berry grapeful.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/01/2013 09:33:32
Right. Now this one is so contrived I can't believe I am going to do it.

A berry from the Antipodes was begining to get on my nerves, so I had to tell it push off. I made it quite clear I didn't want it around saying "Go ose berry".
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/01/2013 09:37:26
I love it! These really are grape fruit puns, in fact I might say they are divine.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 16/01/2013 20:16:40
Citrus self down and look up at the star (fruit).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/01/2013 03:16:16
When it comes to drinks, citrus fruit juices are always in the limelight.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/01/2013 05:03:03
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.newrafael.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F05%2Fanimated_fruits.gif&hash=16bfe6f68a4c02e5a3e1bfd7373e7245)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/01/2013 05:03:42
Kindly be prepared for the great event of the year.

I refer, of course, to that celebration of the great Englishman Stan Laurel and his equally great American partner Oliver Hardy.

Yes folks its

National Cuckoo Dancing Week

Are you ready? go (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snnCKVFzjHE)

WHOOPEEEEEeeeeee

THIS ENDS JANUARY 17, 2013! HURRY!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/01/2013 21:24:24
January 19 - 20, 2013:
Bald Eagle Appreciation Days

I bet Don_1 can pull a pun outta this. Why? Because he's talonted, that's why.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/01/2013 18:11:29


A berry from the Antipodes was begining to get on my nerves, so I had to tell it push off. I made it quite clear I didn't want it around saying "Go ose berry".


Good thing. People may have misunderstood it saying, "Go lose berry" if it occurred on No-L Day!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 21/01/2013 00:18:54
No-L Day; Holy Christmas!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/01/2013 04:13:03

No-L Day; Holy Christmas!


Yes! They could use you as a 4th Angel!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fecx.images-amazon.com%2Fimages%2FI%2F61fvJTn24yL._SL500_AA280_.jpg&hash=70091b5fceb1a0bf91e52aac5b54feeb)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/01/2013 16:40:14
January 19 - 20, 2013:
Bald Eagle Appreciation Days


A round of raptorous applause for the Bald Eagle.

I bet Don_1 can pull a pun outta this. Why? Because he's talonted, that's why.

I shall see what I can do to honour the claws in my TNS contract.

In the mean time here is a joke for that miserable old sod Perry. With any luck it will make Perry grin.

As I approached the door, I saw a sign which read 'Knocker not working - please use the button & buzz hard.' I reached the conclusion that someone was falcon about.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/01/2013 16:45:04

No-L Day; Holy Christmas!


Yes! They could use you as a 4th Angel!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fecx.images-amazon.com%2Fimages%2FI%2F61fvJTn24yL._SL500_AA280_.jpg&hash=70091b5fceb1a0bf91e52aac5b54feeb)

I'm all for Donnah being the 4th angle, after all, she is a ccutey
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/01/2013 19:38:19

I shall see what I can do to honour the claws in my TNS contract.


There's a clawback in your contract that - as in Bernie Madoff's case - you must pay back TNS every dollar in excess profits that you received from them. Sorry.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/01/2013 19:41:03

No-L Day; Holy Christmas!


Yes! They could use you as a 4th Angel!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fecx.images-amazon.com%2Fimages%2FI%2F61fvJTn24yL._SL500_AA280_.jpg&hash=70091b5fceb1a0bf91e52aac5b54feeb)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB4D62398-450C-42D5-B0FC-DEDA5587F824-735-000000F17755982E.jpg&hash=1ddd3551c4efb3c7739dbd40248c1352)

I'm all for Donnah being the 4th angle, after all, she is a ccutey

She is certainly not obtuse as you and I...
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/01/2013 00:15:27
January 19 - 20, 2013:
Bald Eagle Appreciation Days


A round of raptorous applause for the Bald Eagle.

I bet Don_1 can pull a pun outta this. Why? Because he's talonted, that's why.

I shall see what I can do to honour the claws in my TNS contract.

In the mean time here is a joke for that miserable old sod Perry. With any luck it will make Perry grin.

As I approached the door, I saw a sign which read 'Knocker not working - please use the button & buzz hard.' I reached the conclusion that someone was falcon about.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm2.staticflickr.com%2F1001%2F746843857_8e89e3373c_z.jpg&hash=efe6e8cf5a20e17ce18eee85a23f837c)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/01/2013 23:53:04
TNS formed an add hawk committee to award Don_1 for his well documented peregrinations (e.g., his Falcon Award above).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 28/01/2013 01:10:24

No-L Day; Holy Christmas!


Yes! They could use you as a 4th Angel!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fecx.images-amazon.com%2Fimages%2FI%2F61fvJTn24yL._SL500_AA280_.jpg&hash=70091b5fceb1a0bf91e52aac5b54feeb)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB4D62398-450C-42D5-B0FC-DEDA5587F824-735-000000F17755982E.jpg&hash=1ddd3551c4efb3c7739dbd40248c1352)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F7D3224D5-F60C-480C-AA91-E8872FAB9574-735-000000F16BA021AF.jpg&hash=dcd41b61956fe36ba79a4b7091be6329)

I'm all for Donnah being the 4th angle, after all, she is a ccutey

She is certainly not obtuse as you and I...
What's your angle?  Did I spell that right?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/01/2013 06:27:32

What's your angle?...


I was just angling for your affection, like Don_1.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/01/2013 03:25:28

Angle...Did I spell that right?


Yes. But if you ever leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/01/2013 17:13:15

Citrus self down and look up at the star (fruit).


Donnah wins the...

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcmf-mm.meistermedia.net%2Fmedium_topstories%2F39697%2F2013-Citrus-Achievement-Award-logo.jpg&hash=070d6ecb44e0d1d419475f319a9f986a)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgifsoup.com%2Fwebroot%2Fanimatedgifs4%2F2053966_o.gif&hash=b6dbe10ebb2b93736b9757d965bb04dd)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/01/2013 12:41:10
A cid cit ru self down on my lap.

I'd better translate that one....

I said sit your self down on my lap.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/01/2013 19:08:57
A cid cit ru self down on my lap.

I'd better translate that one....

I said sit your self down on my lap.

This will be added to:

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.citrusstudios.com%2Fimages%2Fthe_citrus_fact.png&hash=c0c30a7e6e43afdbeaf253a3f8e7fd05)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 31/01/2013 21:17:50
A cid cit ru self down on my lap.

I'd better translate that one....

I said sit your self down on my lap.

Man! Daring pun there! I think that one crossed the lime, Don_1!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 31/01/2013 22:26:40
Any way you slice it!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/02/2013 03:55:35
Juicy tidbits!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/02/2013 21:57:29
February, 2013 is:
American Heart (UK = Heart) Month

I couldn't bypass this great opportunity to post this remembrance on the 3rd memorable anniversary of my wonderful emergency cardiac care experience.

The procedure was not all in vein!





Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/02/2013 05:42:21
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.collegenaturalmedicine.com%2Fproduct_images%2Fuploaded_images%2FBeating_Heart_animation.gif&hash=6e28a4d0916fb5791c9988f051529bd8)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fe08595.medialib.glogster.com%2Fmedia%2F9a%2F9a310a3c15d8b889cf1ac1a957950c6b54395aff0e51ba1a9c497cf880ec0e3d%2Fheart-diagram-1.png&hash=45d4fde07f6a65659d199f04406c7fdc)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 05/02/2013 22:03:05
I guess a orta say something, but demo's graphics are hard to beat.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/02/2013 01:09:29
A cid cit ru self down on my lap.

I'd better translate that one....

I said sit your self down on my lap.

Man! Daring pun there! I think that one crossed the lime, Don_1!

That's considered mandarintory behavior here, bizerl.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/02/2013 18:56:30


I guess a orta say something, but demo's graphics grafx are hard to beat.


Aw, thanks, Donnah, your heart's in the right place.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 11/02/2013 05:04:35
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.collegenaturalmedicine.com%2Fproduct_images%2Fuploaded_images%2FBeating_Heart_animation.gif&hash=6e28a4d0916fb5791c9988f051529bd8)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fe08595.medialib.glogster.com%2Fmedia%2F9a%2F9a310a3c15d8b889cf1ac1a957950c6b54395aff0e51ba1a9c497cf880ec0e3d%2Fheart-diagram-1.png&hash=45d4fde07f6a65659d199f04406c7fdc)

Wasn't Superior Vena Cava one of the Jedi Masters from Star Wars?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/02/2013 00:33:02
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.collegenaturalmedicine.com%2Fproduct_images%2Fuploaded_images%2FBeating_Heart_animation.gif&hash=6e28a4d0916fb5791c9988f051529bd8)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fe08595.medialib.glogster.com%2Fmedia%2F9a%2F9a310a3c15d8b889cf1ac1a957950c6b54395aff0e51ba1a9c497cf880ec0e3d%2Fheart-diagram-1.png&hash=45d4fde07f6a65659d199f04406c7fdc)

Wasn't Superior Vena Cava one of the Jedi Masters from Star Wars?

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.rogersbasement.com%2FStarwars%2Fimages%2FStarwars%2FAnigifs%2Fspship14.gif&hash=1ed96fdb09053838275c5eb33afbcfe9)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Hadrian on 13/02/2013 20:05:32
here my scans before and after

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.roots2life.com%2Fsites%2Fdefault%2Ffiles%2Fu1%2FscanSm2.png&hash=dd3679d3c14cf8126eb937d2de2085d3)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 14/02/2013 03:07:16
Yep. Thanks demo. I saw it the first time.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 14/02/2013 03:28:57
Yep. Thanks demo. I saw it the first time.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/02/2013 05:23:57
Ok perhaps that was not an ideal way to say I didn't understand the previous pun.

_Redundantly_  repetitive graphic removed!

My wish is your command.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/02/2013 05:24:52

September 10th through September 16th is:
International Flirting Week:  (Week of Valentines Day)


If you give your sweetie pretty flowers will she turn on her flirty powers.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/02/2013 05:34:25
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.netanimations.net%2FAnimated-picture-of-sparling-Valentine-heart.gif&hash=356f65dcf7b280ccefcaa766bb45482f)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 14/02/2013 05:37:14

September 10th through September 16th is:
International Flirting Week:  (Week of Valentines Day)


If you give your sweetie pretty flowers will she turn on her flirty powers.


Nice pick-up demo. The ball's now back in my court. Don't you just find this kind of chat up-lifting mate? You may not agree with this proposal but I do.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/02/2013 17:30:42
On Valentine's Day, many people - like me - take heart and try again.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/02/2013 01:32:19

Nice pick-up demo. The ball's now back in my court. Don't you just find this kind of chat up-lifting mate? You may not agree with this proposal but I do.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dragonflyromance.com%2F_%2Frsrc%2F1348026551828%2Fhome%2Fsweetest-romance-awards%2FFinal%2520Website%2520Sweet%2520Romance%2520Award.png&hash=8f41e02c7371be4361e7d44804856eff)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/02/2013 16:14:13
You may be aware that Richard III has been found in a car park in Leicester. I don't know what all the fuss is about, I've found Richard III's in car parks all over the country. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fsh1t%2Fstepping-in-poop.gif&hash=700641efa65144a246d82c57b844e01a)

A pun, a pun, my Kingdom for a pun!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/02/2013 16:17:09

Nice pick-up demo. The ball's now back in my court. Don't you just find this kind of chat up-lifting mate? You may not agree with this proposal but I do.



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dragonflyromance.com%2F_%2Frsrc%2F1348026551828%2Fhome%2Fsweetest-romance-awards%2FFinal%2520Website%2520Sweet%2520Romance%2520Award.png&hash=8f41e02c7371be4361e7d44804856eff)

What odd shaped balls you have. Do you play Rugby?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/02/2013 21:29:37

Nice pick-up demo. The ball's now back in my court. Don't you just find this kind of chat up-lifting mate? You may not agree with this proposal but I do.



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dragonflyromance.com%2F_%2Frsrc%2F1348026551828%2Fhome%2Fsweetest-romance-awards%2FFinal%2520Website%2520Sweet%2520Romance%2520Award.png&hash=8f41e02c7371be4361e7d44804856eff)


What odd shaped balls you have. Do you play Rugby?


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi306.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fnn245%2Fmarie01_08%2FLaughter%2Fth_AnimatedLaughter.gif&hash=36b131a3bdd0cf6e259ab0a1facdc0ee)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/02/2013 04:11:18
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fus.123rf.com%2F400wm%2F400%2F400%2Fpatrimonio%2Fpatrimonio1010%2Fpatrimonio101000056%2F7997683-illustration-of-a-rugby-player-running-with-ball-facing-front-with-shield-in-background-and-words.jpg&hash=b2f4c4ce9567b480f309d3ea1092d35b)

"Have a ball with Don_1!"


TNS' Award budget is feeling the strain, Don_1, with all your, bizerl and Donnah Awards! So much talent and it MUST be recognized! [:)]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/02/2013 14:10:53
I don nah what you are going to do if the money runs out, can we bi zer el of a lot of stock for the future in advance? I assume we are OK at de moment, but I don wan to hand out awards if we are short of stock.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/02/2013 14:29:06

I guess a orta say something, but demo's graphics are hard to beat.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.greatatlantictrophy.com%2Fmm5%2Fgraphics%2F00000001%2FRF-1354.jpg&hash=0b0ffd29a1e40238f8e77deea028e685)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/02/2013 14:34:24
Can someone on The TNS Awards Committee kindly insert Donnah's name at the base of her All-Heart Award (see above)? Sloppy negligence! Someone dropped the ball
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/02/2013 14:45:11
I don nah what you are going to do if the money runs out, can we bi zer el of a lot of stock for the future in advance? I assume we are OK at de moment, but I don wan to hand out awards if we are short of stock.

We are decidedly NOT out of stock soup.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.keeplearningkeepsmiling.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F06%2Fsoup-stock.png&hash=d6078ce0044eaac817010b38c046c0b8)Photo courtesy TNS Soup Kitchens

See?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/02/2013 18:16:24
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimage.made-in-china.com%2F6f3j00CvyaGALrCtbM%2Fcompany-tns-furniture.jpg&hash=3771d9ba648e208fe1da4b133bdbc2ad)

Don_1, perhaps you're thinking that their stock is suffering in Asia. But we don't give many awards there, so we're safe!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/02/2013 10:43:22
I don nah what you are going to do if the money runs out, can we bi zer el of a lot of stock for the future in advance? I assume we are OK at de moment, but I don wan to hand out awards if we are short of stock.

We are decidedly NOT out of stock soup.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.keeplearningkeepsmiling.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F06%2Fsoup-stock.png&hash=d6078ce0044eaac817010b38c046c0b8)Photo courtesy TNS Soup Kitchens

See?



I am pleasantly souprised to hear that, so was my brother, Len, till he read about Asia getting on the gravy train.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/02/2013 11:14:57
sniff sniff What's that smell? sniff sniff Is it gas?

I'd better take a look at the oven.

Its no good, I can't see anything under here and the torch (US = flashlight) has a flat battery. I know, I'll strike a match to see where I need to put this gas patcheo. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fwar%2Fgrenade.gif&hash=6d8b8e5865c775a0afda03c093850b52) Oopps....
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/02/2013 05:03:59
No need to strike a match! Gazpacho soup is best served cold!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/02/2013 05:11:23
I don nah what you are going to do if the money runs out, can we bi zer el of a lot of stock for the future in advance? I assume we are OK at de moment, but I don wan to hand out awards if we are short of stock.

We are decidedly NOT out of stock soup.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.keeplearningkeepsmiling.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F06%2Fsoup-stock.png&hash=d6078ce0044eaac817010b38c046c0b8)Photo courtesy TNS Soup Kitchens

See?



I am pleasantly souprised to hear that, so was my brother, Len, till he read about Asia getting on the gravy train.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-oUflCRhcSTg%2FT1O2_1Pv-jI%2FAAAAAAAAAfY%2Ffxq-RrPK0JQ%2Fs1600%2FYUMMY%2BAWARD.jpg&hash=eb3033d3e6ab8c75ad574ec45ca2cdce)

Don_1 once again performs souperbly.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 21/02/2013 05:58:52
I think I'm too chicken to publicly pea and ham it up, vich ys so iselating!

Boo, Hiss! Go on, throw your tomatos!

ps. what's your favourite movie? mine's Tron, even though I haven't seen it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/02/2013 09:15:21
Well, you didn't leave mush room for me to fit in an extra pun or two there, did you. As Para Gastronome Pt. Parts said when cooking supper for the regiment, "You certainly know your onions."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/02/2013 09:21:16
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-oUflCRhcSTg%2FT1O2_1Pv-jI%2FAAAAAAAAAfY%2Ffxq-RrPK0JQ%2Fs1600%2FYUMMY%2BAWARD.jpg&hash=eb3033d3e6ab8c75ad574ec45ca2cdce)


I suppose that would be a sort of Alpahbetti Spagetti with only A, B, C, D, E, F & G, some flat, some sharp and perchance the odd few augmented.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/02/2013 12:18:18
You can find Alphabetti Spaghetti at your favorite local bar, but you must wait in line for it. Delegate: have one of your staff pick it up instead. They can whistle a tune while they're waiting. But encourage them to eat with a fork to maximize spaghetti twirlability.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 22/02/2013 03:17:38
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimage.made-in-china.com%2F6f3j00CvyaGALrCtbM%2Fcompany-tns-furniture.jpg&hash=3771d9ba648e208fe1da4b133bdbc2ad)

Don_1, perhaps you're thinking that their stock is suffering in Asia. But we don't give many awards there, so we're safe!

TNS
Technically Not Stolen
Telescopic Nose Syndrome
Thylacines Never Smell
Thanks! No, Seriously!
Thought Not, Sadly.
Try Netting Sharks
Turn Next Second
This Now Stinks
Thanks. Now Stop!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/02/2013 03:23:16
what're you doing up so early/late???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/02/2013 03:35:31

ps. what's your favourite movie?


US = favorite. I don't want to confuse Don_1. He often clarifies words internationally.

A florist asked me, "what's your favourite (US = favorite) flower?"
I replied, "Self raising."
...torch (US = flashlight)

Without such occasional clarification, these misunderstandings could lead to another Revolutionary War. I'm sure you understand.



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 22/02/2013 03:54:49
what're you doing up so early/late???

I'm living on (probably) the other side of the world. Whilst one could argue that 2:30pm is too early for dinner and too late for lunch, it's not unusual for us Australians to be up.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/02/2013 04:06:55
what're you doing up so early/late???

I'm living on (probably) the other side of the world. Whilst one could argue that 2:30pm is too early for dinner and too late for lunch, it's not unusual for us Australians to be up.



bizerl demystified!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/02/2013 04:10:06


I think I'm too chicken to publicly pea and ham it up, vich ys so iselating!



I'm not sure what your intent is. You should check bivore u accost me with such swaggeringly incoherent words such as "py" "ys" . A stretchier use of the inglish language, I have not scene!

Well said!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 22/02/2013 04:21:11
what're you doing up so early/late???

I'm living on (probably) the other side of the world. Whilst one could argue that 2:30pm is too early for dinner and too late for lunch, it's not unusual for us Australians to be up.



bizerl demystified!

I would have been able to make a pun out of de myst if I'ed been quicker!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/02/2013 04:45:38
de mystake I made was thinking you're in the UK.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 22/02/2013 04:52:37
de mystake I made was thinking you're in the UK.

Technically I'm still part of the British Empire (for some reason).

Long live the Queen!

Now, what are YOU doing up?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/02/2013 06:41:01
It's only 10:30 pm (PST).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/02/2013 14:26:34

Long live the Queen!


Long live...uh....Washington???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/02/2013 16:50:46
[Technically I'm still part of the British Empire (for some reason).


Empire??? The only Empire we've got now is the flea pit down the road. Its the 'Commonwealth' now. Wealth??? What bloody wealth?

Cripes, don't leave us Auz, don't go all republic on us. We luvs ya!


Long live the Queen!


Don't let Prince Charles hear you say that.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/02/2013 22:14:19
Long live the Queen!
Don't let Prince Charles hear you say rap that.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fblogfiles.wfmu.org%2FED%2Fimages%2Fdj-hrh.gif&hash=307a79f2fd7d0e0158f92de7fe9c6722)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 25/02/2013 01:34:53
Long live the Queen!
Don't let Prince Charles hear you say rap that.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fblogfiles.wfmu.org%2FED%2Fimages%2Fdj-hrh.gif&hash=307a79f2fd7d0e0158f92de7fe9c6722)



I wonder if that's a recording of the queen of Denmark's abdication speech that he's playing over and over again to his mum.

On a dark night I was walking along and found myself in a burlesque entrance. The cast let me in and before I knew it, I had my paw nestled in some duchess's lap! My alibi? Shopping of course!

Sorry guys, but I thought the moderators might close the thread if we didn't keep on topic with a pun soon. I know they check material often.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/02/2013 06:54:18
Long live the Queen!
Don't let Prince Charles hear you say rap that.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fblogfiles.wfmu.org%2FED%2Fimages%2Fdj-hrh.gif&hash=307a79f2fd7d0e0158f92de7fe9c6722)



I wonder if that's a recording of the queen of Denmark's abdication speech that he's playing over and over again to his mum.

On a dark night I was walking along and found myself in a burlesque entrance. The cast let me in and before I knew it, I had my paw nestled in some duchess's lap! My alibi? Shopping of course!

Sorry guys, but I thought the moderators might close the thread if we didn't keep on topic with a pun soon. I know they check material often.

What a coincidence! Tonight was Hollywood's Oscar Awards and on the very same day, bizerl is awarded...

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.chessbase.com%2Fimages2%2F2004%2Fchessoscar01.jpg&hash=7d0d08a87360b334c0cde271e0a10fb8)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/02/2013 14:07:37
Well, what can I say mate? After just a day or two I check back here to find you have become board with the line we were following. I shall have to square up to this new challenge. En passant this thread to me, you have set me quite a task. But I am no rookie at this punning lark, though what you are asking of me is considerable, I resign myself to coming up with the goodies, though some of my puns may be old and rather stale, mate.

Now if you'll excuse me, I must away to get some of my old puns out of the pawn shop. Times is 'ard.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/02/2013 17:42:04
Long live the Queen!
Don't let Prince Charles hear you say rap that.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fblogfiles.wfmu.org%2FED%2Fimages%2Fdj-hrh.gif&hash=307a79f2fd7d0e0158f92de7fe9c6722)



I wonder if that's a recording of the queen of Denmark's abdication speech that he's playing over and over again to his mum.

On a dark night I was walking along and found myself in a burlesque entrance. The cast let me in and before I knew it, I had my paw nestled in some duchess's lap! My alibi? Shopping of course!

Sorry guys, but I thought the moderators might close the thread if we didn't keep on topic with a pun soon. I know they check material often.

What a coincidence! Tonight was Hollywood's Oscar Awards and on the very same day, bizerl is awarded...

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.chessbase.com%2Fimages2%2F2004%2Fchessoscar01.jpg&hash=7d0d08a87360b334c0cde271e0a10fb8)


Well, what can I say mate? After just a day or two I check back here to find you have become board with the line we were following. I shall have to square up to this new challenge. En passant this thread to me, you have set me quite a task. But I am no rookie at this punning lark, though what you are asking of me is considerable, I resign myself to coming up with the goodies, though some of my puns may be old and rather stale, mate.

Now if you'll excuse me, I must away to get some of my old puns out of the pawn shop. Times is 'ard.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.chessbase.com%2Fimages2%2F2004%2Fchessoscar01.jpg&hash=7d0d08a87360b334c0cde271e0a10fb8)

Help! It's a tie!!! Donnah, we need a tie-breaker! help decide this!!!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/02/2013 06:38:21
Today, February 26, is:
For Pete's Sake Day

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-rldlv_BJUKs%2FT0UVoRYIBsI%2FAAAAAAAAEW8%2F3Kss1PxatTg%2Fs1600%2FFor%2BPetes%2BSake%2Bbook%2Bpic.gif&hash=372b845270c46854de4a27b29f02b208)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/02/2013 14:20:00

Help! It's a tie!!! Donnah, we need a tie-breaker! help decide this!!!


OK Donnah, Demo is castling his net for a tie breaker. It'll be alwhite if you go first, but remember, in the words of Arrne Schwarztntrotter, or whatever his name is, 'I'll be black.'
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/02/2013 03:35:21

Help! It's a tie!!! Donnah, we need a tie-breaker! help decide this!!!


OK Donnah, Demo is castling his net for a tie breaker. It'll be alwhite if you go first, but remember, in the words of Arrne Schwarztntrotter, or whatever his name is, 'I'll be black.'

This adds to your Chess Award Points!!

I'm sure the TNS Awards Committee will approve this extra prize below for your extra words!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FF886C544-101B-4C0F-96EE-6CFE3FC20952-434-000000333E418300.jpg&hash=a536ff48249b20e1760eb338e82521e6)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/02/2013 10:42:55
[ Invalid Attachment ]

Somehow I just knew you would come up with something like this, I could see silly 'uns (http://www.chesscorner.com/tutorial/openings/sicilian/sicilian_defence.htm) on the horizon.

I think Donnah is playing that old 'keep him waiting game'. Bit by bit she wants to wear me down. Its an old Chinese ploy intended to send your opponent pawn crackers.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/02/2013 14:32:30
[ Invalid Attachment ]

Its an old Chinese ploy intended to send your opponent pawn crackers.


Let's keep pawnography out of this - this is a Science Forum. Punning science doesn't allow for cheessy posts.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/02/2013 18:36:04
[ Invalid Attachment ]

Somehow I just knew you would come up with something like this, I could see silly 'uns (http://www.chesscorner.com/tutorial/openings/sicilian/sicilian_defence.htm) on the horizon.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwebclipart.about.com%2Flibrary%2Fblogclip%2Fblaugh.gif&hash=c3951c679032f18191d2faf3270cc194)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/03/2013 12:31:17
Oh! How I hate canned laughter. That's just for fool's, mate.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/03/2013 17:53:06
Teach me that, and I'll pay you by writing the quickest possible check, mate!

(UK = cheque)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/03/2013 18:45:48
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0994AC08-0737-47BF-AD8C-EB6F947E53D7-391-00000023387E6E27.jpg&hash=69ad21ac48cd541bad1e933ce8e55311)

http://www.slashgear.com/national-day-of-unplugging-encourages-24-hours-of-enlightenment-02272203/
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/03/2013 18:57:29
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0994AC08-0737-47BF-AD8C-EB6F947E53D7-391-00000023387E6E27.jpg&hash=69ad21ac48cd541bad1e933ce8e55311)

http://www.slashgear.com/national-day-of-unplugging-encourages-24-hours-of-enlightenment-02272203/

OOER!!!


999 (USA = 911)

brrrrrr brrrrrrr brrrrrr

Emergency, how can I help you?



Ah! Well, you see, its national unplugging day and I just unplugged Granny's life support system..........
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/03/2013 23:12:54
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0994AC08-0737-47BF-AD8C-EB6F947E53D7-391-00000023387E6E27.jpg&hash=69ad21ac48cd541bad1e933ce8e55311)


Ah! Well, you see, its national unplugging day and I just unplugged Granny's life support system..........


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Favatarmaker.net%2Ffree-avatars%2Favatars%2Fanimated_214%2Fbags_of_laughter_animated_avatar_100x100_33452.gif&hash=42a3e4cbff34588ee8ea53239af75cf6)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/03/2013 01:08:27
March, 2013 is:
International Ideas Month

I'm clueless.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/03/2013 14:23:03
March, 2013 is:
International Ideas Month

I'm clueless.

OK, here's an idea for you, try baking some bread, then you'll be clue doe
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 05/03/2013 03:25:55
March, 2013 is:
International Ideas Month

I'm clueless.

OK, here's an idea for you, try baking some bread, then you'll be clue doe

You Must arduously compete with me and you are Plumb on the money there. I'm not telling a little White lie when I say you are at your Peac ockay? I aGree now that a Scar letts out blood more than a dagger, but if you let me be the lead piper than I can wrench the title of best punner off you. Only joking, I'd have to study for years for that hallowed title!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/03/2013 17:02:13
I say old chap! You've been wadding tons of puns into your last post. Give me a chance too, you haven't got the monopoly on these puns. If you get too many in one post people get a little board. Games only hold the attention for a short while. Overdoing it can be a risk, when some people are looking for new careers.

OI!!! Shut that door, there's some terrible draughts in here.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/03/2013 01:19:35

You haven't got the (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bobleroi.co.uk%2FScrapBook%2FPeterGander%2FMonopolyLogo_a.jpg&hash=a560adda70a7226691d8d835e954658c) on these puns.


Now where is that bored chairman going?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 07/03/2013 02:02:50
I say old chap! You've been wadding tons of puns into your last post. Give me a chance too, you haven't got the monopoly on these puns. If you get too many in one post people get a little board. Games only hold the attention for a short while. Overdoing it can be a risk, when some people are looking for new careers.

OI!!! Shut that door, there's some terrible draughts in here.
You May fair better than U no for your solitairey effort, but I'll be back! Gamme on!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/03/2013 05:37:17

[Here's a] solitairey effort...



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2F5%2F54%2FEvergreen_game_animation.gif&hash=1ea8ce1292e5e60d451720b681bf0856)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/03/2013 17:15:20
Sorry, is it my move?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/03/2013 17:18:35
I say old chap! You've been wadding tons of puns into your last post. Give me a chance too, you haven't got the monopoly on these puns. If you get too many in one post people get a little board. Games only hold the attention for a short while. Overdoing it can be a risk, when some people are looking for new careers.

OI!!! Shut that door, there's some terrible draughts in here.
You May fair better than U no for your solitairey effort, but I'll be back! Gamme on!

Mmmmmm..... I like a nice bit of back gammon, grilled with egg & chips.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/03/2013 00:22:10
I say old chap! You've been wadding tons of puns into your last post. Give me a chance too, you haven't got the monopoly on these puns. If you get too many in one post people get a little board. Games only hold the attention for a short while. Overdoing it can be a risk, when some people are looking for new careers.

OI!!! Shut that door, there's some terrible draughts in here.
You May fair better than U no for your solitairey effort, but I'll be back! Gamme on!

Mmmmmm..... I like a nice bit of backgammon, grilled with egg & chips.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F71C6C7A6-3A6D-4383-A384-AC3261440A7C-758-0000003DBC203D5C.jpg&hash=3a482846c1c5dcb940371662d26f75ce)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 17/03/2013 21:46:31
Not sure the Old Maid has any in the cupboard.  Let me check er out!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/03/2013 11:59:13
I was going to post a picture of me in an omelette mask, but I thought I'd just end up with egg on my face.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/03/2013 12:04:50
Could you serve eggs on eggs? How about Quails eggs on fish eggs?

Egg on Roe? nay lad.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/03/2013 00:20:52
I was going to post a picture of me in an omelette mask, but I thought I'd just end up with egg on my face.


I bumped into a chick from Kentucky named Dixie who was a delight. She was a small fry so I scrambled to take her under my wing. Hey, she egged me on.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/03/2013 00:36:18
I was going to post a picture of me in an omelette mask, but I thought I'd just end up with egg on my face.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.groonk.net%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F11%2Feggsmurmur.gif&hash=84657547380507e0a335449ab1bd62ef)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 20/03/2013 10:11:23
I was going to post a picture of me in an omelette mask, but I thought I'd just end up with egg on my face.


I bumped into a chick from Kentucky named Dixie who was a delight. She was a small fry so I scrambled to take her under my wing. Hey, she egged me on.

Glad that's over. Easy mistake to make!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/03/2013 19:30:22
bizerl, omletting you know that you understand how to keep the sunny side up.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/03/2013 12:51:28
bizerl, omletting you know that you understand how to keep the sunny side up.

I'm sure he poached that from me. Him and his egg. No going back now. Heed the warning shell or I'll scramble the RAF.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/03/2013 13:23:10
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.groonk.net%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F11%2Feggsmurmur.gif&hash=84657547380507e0a335449ab1bd62ef)

Who does this remind me of???

Must be Stephen Fry (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vp9pAqOsSAg)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/03/2013 17:51:52
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.groonk.net%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F11%2Feggsmurmur.gif&hash=84657547380507e0a335449ab1bd62ef)

Who does this remind me of???

Must be Stephen Fry
 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vp9pAqOsSAg)


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gifs.net%2FAnimation11%2FHolidays%2FSaint_Patricks_Day%2FLaughing_hard.gif&hash=3ec40c0153540e97b7c690cc40302a06)

Leftover from St Patrick's Day, so don't worry about the budget, Don_1.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/03/2013 23:25:51

Not sure the Old Maid has any [eggs] in the cupboard.


But where will you put the 5th one?????

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0C076A42-1BDE-4C42-8EF4-E27455248D24-153-00000005E971A3DA.jpg&hash=22e64f8dd8bde9b24739a6c7533f6f15)


Let me check er out!


I gave up playing chess, and went on to a checkered career.

Furthermore...

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F24E09040-BA02-44B2-A868-B5D538956785-153-00000005F8584E55.jpg&hash=6febf6a10a8088b9b4c0fd5efd5c9a4b)

...this sub-thread is not eggsactly a "Mickey Mouse" pun on eggs! Let's have some reggspect!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/03/2013 16:12:41
Do you think we should move on? I think these puns are just about eggsahusted now.

Of course, if you have any more to eggstrapolate, do carry on, I'm easy over here.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/03/2013 16:18:54

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F24E09040-BA02-44B2-A868-B5D538956785-153-00000005F8584E55.jpg&hash=6febf6a10a8088b9b4c0fd5efd5c9a4b)

...this sub-thread is not eggsactly a "Mickey Mouse" pun on eggs! Let's have some reggspect!


I didn't think mice laid eggs!!!

OH! But of course, they must lay eggs at eggsmouse.


Hmmm, a tad oblique perhaps. Allow me to eggsplane:-
eggsmouse = xmouse = eggsmas = xmas

I went for the double pun there.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/03/2013 20:02:27

Do you think we should move on? I think these puns are just about eggsahusted now.


Why give up when we are doing such eggsellent work? Who knows, we may even be awarded a scrumptious (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fblogchef.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F07%2Fegg_salad_sandwich_1.jpg&hash=abf2e218aa43ef8ae66e890b4fb51073) for a prize!


Of course, if you have any more to eggstrapolate, do carry on, I'm easy over here.


Be proud. This is not our first run at eggs! Anyone else in their right mind would've given up ægges - long ago!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/03/2013 20:38:32
March, 2013 is:
Bell Peppers and Broccoli Month
http://www.cdc.gov/nutrition/everyone/fruitsvegetables/index.html


The Saddest Vegetable in Existence  

(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6276539392/h79C3901F/)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 26/03/2013 21:10:30
Do you think we should move on? I think these puns are just about eggsahusted now.

Of course, if you have any more to eggstrapolate, do carry on, I'm easy over here.

Move on?!? Ova my dead body!

ps. demo, where do you poach all your pictures from?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 26/03/2013 21:16:10
Do you think we should move on? I think these puns are just about eggsahusted now.

Of course, if you have any more to eggstrapolate, do carry on, I'm easy over here.

Move on?!? Ova my dead body!

ps. demo, where do you poach all your pictures from?
bizerl, omletting you know that you understand how to keep the sunny side up.

I'm sure he poached that from me. Him and his egg. No going back now. Heed the warning shell or I'll scramble the RAF.

You're right. There's nothing new here. I fall opianly into submission. It's too hard. Boiled over into ridiculousness this topic has.

who let Yoda in here?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/03/2013 21:18:29

demo, where do you poach all your pictures from?


Stolen eggs are poached.

I get my pics from Google. Why? Do you have a better source?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/03/2013 11:24:44

Stolen eggs are poached.


I see you are eggstollen* your capabilities as a baker now, but did you know that because of the high fruit content of this culinary delight, it tends to mar zi pan during baking. Yes, its true delights such as these can be quite corrosive.

*Please note yet another double pun.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/03/2013 11:27:38
...........Do you have a better source?

When it comes to being sourcey, I'll have to go a long way to ketch up with you. You just leave me miles beheinz.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/03/2013 17:54:02

*Please note yet another double pun.


So now you expect FOUR prizes??? (2 double-entendres)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/03/2013 17:56:03
...........Do you have a better source?

When it comes to being sourcey, I'll have to go a long way to ketch up with you. You just leave me miles beheinz.

I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/03/2013 22:16:12

*Please note yet another double pun.


So now you expect FOUR prizes??? (2 double-entendres)

Four candles (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaGpaj2nHIo) will suffice, thank you.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/03/2013 22:31:33
...........Do you have a better source?

When it comes to being sourcey, I'll have to go a long way to ketch up with you. You just leave me miles beheinz.

I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.


May your nazel passage always find that which you salt and never leave you in a pickle. I garn ishue you with any baetter wishes or nonsense other than the balls a Mick gave to me when I suggested he should treat his corn with flowers with all the pep 'er indoors can musterd.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/03/2013 03:07:34

*Please note yet another double pun.


So now you expect FOUR prizes??? (2 double-entendres)

Four candles (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaGpaj2nHIo) will suffice, thank you.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FBCE06658-79A7-441F-A9D8-A3980AFF677A-150-000000056B06E1FE.jpg&hash=c6d3cb0883fead9fe76200d599da3315)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/03/2013 10:31:52
Bill hooks!

 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/03/2013 17:44:21
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thenakedscientists.com%2Fforum%2Findex.php%3Faction%3Ddlattach%3Btopic%3D31700.0%3Battach%3D17592%3Bimage&hash=4d43616e123ed62f85a5934b759b10b7)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ft2.ftcdn.net%2Fjpg%2F00%2F29%2F98%2F27%2F400_F_29982741_Qdj7WAmybxjbM9zveyH0zjJ5wQOBqv27.jpg&hash=cad6f5865d73abbafb6d20241eab7177)

Oh no! Did I poach a bad pun?????


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/03/2013 21:58:13

Stolen eggs are poached.


I see you are eggstollen* your capabilities as a baker now, but did you know that because of the high fruit content of this culinary delight, it tends to mar zi pan during baking. Yes, its true delights such as these can be quite corrosive.


To Don_1!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Ffunny_cake_award-r00a18c5c80b44506ba2eef1725612951_8bozq_8byvr_512.jpg&hash=af3b3155d4bd7e2ac59fc785e5ab2f1a)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/03/2013 22:34:03
March, 2013 is:
Bell Peppers and Broccoli Month
http://www.cdc.gov/nutrition/everyone/fruitsvegetables/index.html


Hurry! Only 2 days left!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/03/2013 23:57:22
Edit post-"picture poach"ing[:)]:bizerl, omletting you know that you understand how to keep the sunny side up.

[:)]


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/03/2013 00:07:54


...........Do you have a better source?


When it comes to being sourcey, I'll have to go a long way to ketchup with you. You just leave me miles beheinz.

You left out Worcestershire source.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/03/2013 16:45:01
Worcester matter with that? Though some say 'the more the merrier', on the contrary others say 'the leicester better'. What's more, wycombe if you are bald? You'll only end up feeling surrey for yourself. But have no fear, I will send you a greetings card iff it will make you feel any better.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/03/2013 19:38:42

Wycombe if you are bald?


My hat's off on to you! (covering my baldness)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm2.static.flickr.com%2F1160%2F4722245895_8f247df5d8.jpg&hash=e5f1c99883bdeefedf2974fca5669666)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/03/2013 19:11:11
Worcester matter with that? Though some say 'the more the merrier', on the contrary others say 'the leicester better'. What's more, wycombe if you are bald? You'll only end up feeling surrey for yourself. But have no fear, I will send you a greetings card iff it will make you feel any better.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F043539A4-CC84-4CC3-9973-73EE2BAF6F44-189-0000010A7C0EF1B9.jpg&hash=9a7edf82dc8f656674ba25f57f93d944)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/03/2013 19:24:51
Don_ 1 is temporarily lost. He is working feverishly to find the next great location(s) for his Silver Award 2014!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F85261007-FE86-4D28-86DD-041106A81146-189-0000010F599CBCAE.jpg&hash=3103d575933d8568db7ed85a95afe636)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/03/2013 20:45:39
Bill hooks!

 [ Invalid Attachment ]

On Don_1's telly (US = TV) show, the assistant reveals that the request was for billhooks.

The audience is intended to infer that the shopkeeper misread it as bollocks or pillocks.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/03/2013 20:59:57
Tomorrow, *April 2, 2013, is:
April Fool's Day

*First April Fool trick: it's NOT on April 2!

And here's a great April Fool wake-him-up-with-a-nice-surprise trick which will make any lover/spouse love you all day long!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F269CC16B-5853-4C88-9D6A-B244B5AA297A-189-00000121B9A9335B.jpg&hash=81fed3773acdc88b1fe12e0705311cad)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/04/2013 17:53:24
Do I detect a web of deceit here?


Little Miss Muffet
sat on her tuffet
eating her curds and whey

Along came a spider
which sat down beside her
so she trod on it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/04/2013 17:57:02
I was about to tuck in to my easter egg, when I found the box had been openned by 'er indoors. I looked in the box with horror. My discovery got me in a spin 'er ette all my eggy!


For a punishment I decided a rack ni did the job.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/04/2013 09:51:47

Do I detect a web of deceit here?


Little Miss Muffet
sat on her tuffet
eating her curds and whey

Along came a spider
which sat down beside her
so she trod on it.

I was about to tuck in to my easter egg, when I found the box had been openned by 'er indoors. I looked in the box with horror. My discovery got me in a spin 'er ette all my eggy!


For a punishment I decided a rack ni did the job.

On the contrary, Don_1, you are awarded this waterproofed Arachnids Chart!!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2DBF6001-3662-42A4-B83C-A038449CCEB4-787-0000011F47AA764D.jpg&hash=bd759f0bf5c78bcebc38280174aec601)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/04/2013 13:16:57
The female arachnid thought she could hide from me, but I spied 'er. I yelled 'Run under the cupboard, or be trodden on.'

Ann (remember her?) was having difficulty with her scales, do, ray, me and so on were OK but she was unable to 'la'. I decided to help her, so now I train Ann to la.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/04/2013 13:19:44
Demo, your last post was a little unclear until I red back over it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/04/2013 13:34:24
Don_ 1 is temporarily lost. He is working feverishly to find the next great location(s) for his Silver Award 2014!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F85261007-FE86-4D28-86DD-041106A81146-189-0000010F599CBCAE.jpg&hash=3103d575933d8568db7ed85a95afe636)

With the dor set ajar, I turned my mind to matters placenamewise in Blighty. On my laptop I clicked the linc on East Anglia, but it gave me no insight to the area nor folk who live there.

Chest er minute. I thought, perhaps I should look to the west. That was a wales of an idea. My new port of call would be the western coast, where some towns are inland and some r set on the sea's edge. But I had better watch it or I may get muddled up and be gived a red card iff I make a mistake.

I shall do my best to avoid mention of Bristol Cities...... Oops!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/04/2013 20:12:35
The female arachnid thought she could hide from me, but I spied 'er. I yelled 'Run under the cupboard, or be trodden on.'

Ann (remember her?) was having difficulty with her scales, do, ray, me and so on were OK but she was unable to 'la'. I decided to help her, so now I train Ann to la.

Demo, your last post was a little unclear until I red back over it.


As Don_1 is an airplane pilot, he should know that too many spiders in his house can turn it into a no fly zone!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/04/2013 05:10:56
Demo, your last post was a little unclear until I red back over it.

Oh no!!! Yikes !!!


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F6C5FECD6-164F-448F-B5DA-E44D2A05CD60-192-00000063E2A56806.jpg&hash=fa5be3c0ae0a1e66fe11d3248ba0f0af)

Redback Spider (brrrrr!)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/04/2013 05:20:16
Don_ 1 is temporarily lost. He is working feverishly to find the next great location(s) for his Silver Award 2014!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F85261007-FE86-4D28-86DD-041106A81146-189-0000010F599CBCAE.jpg&hash=3103d575933d8568db7ed85a95afe636)

I turned my mind to matters...in Blighty.


This Blighty???

What will Anna say???

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F10461B6A-9192-4F8B-BF43-E9CAF0BDB062-192-0000006699E35DDB.jpg&hash=6786bba9e3059b055a997ad898478f73)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0344E0DC-CF04-47C9-BC40-8880C7A9D9B6-192-00000069232444E1.jpg&hash=ddc16d6871019fafeb8dc3c71e118c2f)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/04/2013 13:16:12

This Blighty???

What will Anna say???

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F10461B6A-9192-4F8B-BF43-E9CAF0BDB062-192-0000006699E35DDB.jpg&hash=6786bba9e3059b055a997ad898478f73)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0344E0DC-CF04-47C9-BC40-8880C7A9D9B6-192-00000069232444E1.jpg&hash=ddc16d6871019fafeb8dc3c71e118c2f)


I did vow not to mention Bristol Cities (curses, done it again), Demo, however, made no such promise, as is clear in this post.

I see that magazine was priced at 6d, a better way to spend a couple of thrupenny bits, I can't imagin.

Now look what you've made me do. I've mentioned them again. Doubtless I will be attacked by my knockers for having such afront as to mention them again. It was only my dialect being as me Londoner.

DOH!!! I've boobed!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/04/2013 13:26:27
I get the feeling this is going to turn into a pair of posts I shall be gland to see burnt in a brassiere brazier. Cross my heart.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/04/2013 16:58:13

This Blighty???

What will Anna say???

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F10461B6A-9192-4F8B-BF43-E9CAF0BDB062-192-0000006699E35DDB.jpg&hash=6786bba9e3059b055a997ad898478f73)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0344E0DC-CF04-47C9-BC40-8880C7A9D9B6-192-00000069232444E1.jpg&hash=ddc16d6871019fafeb8dc3c71e118c2f)


I did vow not to mention Bristol Cities (curses, done it again), Demo, however, made no such promise, as is clear in this post.

I see that magazine was priced at 6d, a better way to spend a couple of thrupenny bits, I can't imagin.

Now look what you've made me do. I've mentioned them again. Doubtless I will be attacked by my knockers for having such afront as to mention them again. It was only my dialect being as me Londoner.

DOH!!! I've boobed!
I get the feeling this is going to turn into a pair of posts I shall be gland to see burnt in a brassiere brazier. Cross my heart.

It is only fitting that Don_1 earns yet another Punning Award!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F1D7ED14C-B4D1-4DFF-9413-F5DFF28341B2-341-00000025DA04D00E.jpg&hash=6570dc7bcf66a289d4b64b756bd72380)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/04/2013 17:55:32
Fitting? FITTING? FITTING!!! I can do that, gis a job.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/04/2013 18:02:31

 [ Invalid Attachment ]


He was known as Vic Damoan because he always had something to complain about.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/04/2013 23:21:32

 [ Invalid Attachment ]


He was known as Vic Damoan because he always had something to complain about.

A complainer??? We always treated Mr. Damoan to the very best culinary offerings and treats that Punning Thread has to offer!

Sigh. I guess no matter how great the cuisine, some people just like to whine-and-dine!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/04/2013 23:37:06
What annoyed me was he would always liqu your plate after dinning. That's just not in the spirit of things, ale have you know. He's naught but a sham pain in the glass.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/04/2013 00:55:29
What annoyed me was he would always liqu your plate after dinning. That's just not in the spirit of things, ale have you know. He's naught but a sham pain in the glass.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC8D0F90B-F75D-48B3-8951-AC7F3CE15E0B-640-0000004C3E31718A.jpg&hash=6cbf3d4c71f9f83ae0b42e242d2e0ee5)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/04/2013 12:28:52
William was an ageing moonshine runner who became known as 'Over the hill Billy'
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/04/2013 18:41:03

William was an ageing moonshine runner who became known as 'Over the hill Billy'


Here in the U.S., old Senators don't die, they just go over the Hill.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FE80B7FA6-8CD7-4B91-8892-76FA88E1EC05-179-00000027A700DF2F.jpg&hash=cb166f4b74981d7bddf928136c10caae)

Capitol Hill, Washington, D.C.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/04/2013 00:31:10
April 8, 2013 is:
Trading Cards for Grown-ups Day
http://www.wellcat.com/april/trading_cards_for_grown.htm

Baseball trading cards are expected to increase in $£ value right off the bat!



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/04/2013 00:38:47
What annoyed me was he would always liqu your plate after dinning.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F8674670B-2015-42FC-A416-E70DC3476CD6-179-0000005A6D8D05AF.jpg&hash=a7e2888e432d5a024f618c365318347e)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 08/04/2013 03:12:53
was that a tongue in cheek remark, demo?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/04/2013 05:30:32
It sure looks like it, JimBob.

Mighty perceptive!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/04/2013 18:16:25
Here's a mighty perceptive.


Oh! Beg pardon, that was a mighty perspective.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/04/2013 19:28:16

was that a tongue in cheek remark, demo?


It sure looks like it, JimBob.

Mighty perceptive!


Here's a mighty perceptive.


Oh! Beg pardon, that was a mighty perspective.



Old artists never die, they just put things in perspective.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/04/2013 14:34:35
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FEE2A5162-EF68-4227-AA9A-99545E2B43FF-221-0000000E7075218E.jpg&hash=0d8c329f80455ef5492a45c888f1d38b)

Don_1, don't worry about running out of awards if you get too wordy. Our fortified fortress has one stored for every Punning Occasion!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F058220BD-755A-470A-BA09-7F7C95E6D29E-221-00000011AB616AA2.jpg&hash=0eb0fe32d01d28bbc8b1cfb0604c68ea)

One of the thousands of Award Rooms in the fortified fortress.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/04/2013 00:43:23
Fitting? FITTING? FITTING!!! I can do that, gis a job.

Send your resume/application, with 14 copies to: Personnel Search Office,
Bra Fitting Awards, 14 Expansion Lane, Blighty, U.K.

We demand hands-on experience!

No theorists !!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/04/2013 00:57:28
*Armchair philosophers, however, will be given secondary consideration.

*it's a gripping experience!



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/04/2013 00:04:10
Sounds like a most fulfilling job, if one has ability to handle the pressure. I would like to give it a try, I'm sure you'll be gland you were brave enough to give me a try.

I, for my part, know that my cup shall runneth over, if her's does. And, of course, it will be done in the breast possible taste.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/04/2013 00:08:28
Oh how I just love Boobies........

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.nationalgeographic.com%2Fwpf%2Fmedia-live%2Fphotos%2F000%2F004%2Fcache%2Fblue-footed-booby_473_600x450.jpg&hash=9ce66975b1220b2541a6a4fe186473f7)
Blue Footed Booby,

(National Geographic (http://animals.nationalgeographic.co.uk/animals/birds/blue-footed-booby/))
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 22/04/2013 00:54:48
You gotta be careful of corn at night. They can be early creepy with their husky voices and seedy appearance. Why, they even cob right out and tell you to shuck it right to your face.


... and it could be the butt of corny jokes

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/04/2013 11:37:17
You gotta be careful of corn at night. They can be early creepy with their husky voices and seedy appearance. Why, they even cob right out and tell you to shuck it right to your face.


... and it could be the butt of corny jokes



I am quite amaized that among the maze of puns here, you managed to find this niblet.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/04/2013 11:48:21
See if you can find your way around this maze:

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwuff.me.uk%2Fhoo%2520hill%2520maze%2Fnoj%2520maze%25201A.jpg&hash=8897fad088678c88a2f935c13b1c22c5)

Best wear good walking boots, or you might end up with a corn or blister.

That was a rather callous thing to say.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/04/2013 02:29:10

Oh how I just love Boobies........

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.nationalgeographic.com%2Fwpf%2Fmedia-live%2Fphotos%2F000%2F004%2Fcache%2Fblue-footed-booby_473_600x450.jpg&hash=9ce66975b1220b2541a6a4fe186473f7)
Blue Footed Booby,

(National Geographic (http://www.tilleysvintagemagazines.com/gallery/76f6580b30f0923bafbe3ee08c53e950.JPG))


Errrrrrr.......Don_1.....are you SURE that is a link to National Geographic above??? (TRY it!)
<giggle>
<blush>
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/04/2013 02:43:09
You gotta be careful of corn at night. They can be early creepy with their husky voices and seedy appearance. Why, they even cob right out and tell you to shuck it right to your face.


... and it could be the butt of corny jokes



Corny jokes? I once heard a corny joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/04/2013 12:24:00

Oh how I just love Boobies........

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.nationalgeographic.com%2Fwpf%2Fmedia-live%2Fphotos%2F000%2F004%2Fcache%2Fblue-footed-booby_473_600x450.jpg&hash=9ce66975b1220b2541a6a4fe186473f7)
Blue Footed Booby,

(National Geographic (http://www.tilleysvintagemagazines.com/gallery/76f6580b30f0923bafbe3ee08c53e950.JPG))


Errrrrrr.......Don_1.....are you SURE that is a link to National Geographic above??? (TRY it!)
<giggle>
<blush>


Never mind a booby, I smell a rat!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/04/2013 12:31:01
My podiatrist suggested I go to see a tree surgeon because I have a corn growng on my foot.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/04/2013 13:07:18
What's next? Cornea puns???

(corn, cornear, corneast???)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/04/2013 13:29:43
My podiatrist suggested I go to see a tree surgeon because I have a corn growng on my foot.

Corn dogs grow everywhere. Not just feet.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA7E8406E-335F-40CD-9521-AA1A7BD09BAF-289-0000001DBCDEF560.jpg&hash=4235e433ccb933938ef552dbf0679333)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/04/2013 14:00:39
What's next? Cornea puns???

(corn, cornear, corneast???)

Damnation! You obviously saw that coming.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/04/2013 14:19:35
My podiatrist suggested I go to see a tree surgeon because I have a corn growng on my foot.

Corn dogs grow everywhere. Not just feet.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA7E8406E-335F-40CD-9521-AA1A7BD09BAF-289-0000001DBCDEF560.jpg&hash=4235e433ccb933938ef552dbf0679333)



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fedmullen.net%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley_mouth_taped_shut.gif&hash=b223dbfa4aa926771218dd57f863730e)

I was only going to say wh(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.zaazu.com%2Fimg%2Fmouthshut-mouth-shut-zip-zip-it-smiley-emoticon-000626-design.gif&hash=885a8caf188dd97c73cda5692c90e0c3)

OH! Come on, let me at least say wou(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi15.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa384%2Fthemarbleintheoatmeal%2Fsmilies%2Fbth_zipper.gif&hash=ce3ef2a385ff887c319024ae0cdab54e)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/04/2013 14:22:16
Really! A comment there was irisistable. Socket to me!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/04/2013 14:33:10
What's next? Cornea puns???

(corn, cornear, corneast???)

I can't help wondering if your doing OK here, or bit off more than you can chew.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/04/2013 14:37:23
Anna (yep, she's back) was taught her scales by a Scottish voice coach. She was fine with doh, ra, me etc but had some trouble when it came to 'la'.

After just a few days McTavish said "Och you la just fine the noo".
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/04/2013 14:41:32
This is a good sight for punning. Vis you all join in.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/04/2013 14:44:24
Cauliflower is good for soothing tired eyes. Just boil a floret in a cup of milk and bathe.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/04/2013 14:46:58
I'm trying to reach my 6000th post. But have I made a rod for my own back? Or am I in conetension?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/04/2013 14:48:41
Getting back to Anna, her voice coach declared "I'll mak you lar if its the last thing I do.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/04/2013 14:50:42
YES!!! I'm nearly there, I'm at the brow of the hill.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/04/2013 14:56:41
OK, what do I get for this my 6000th post?

Might it be an award, or might it be 6000 lashes?

If an award, can it be another caravan to add to my collection?

I do so love to amas caravans.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/04/2013 15:01:57
Curses, all I seem to achieved is Neilep level membership.

Ah well, at least this will take the punning thread to 2870 posts. All I have to do is fit a pun in here somewhere, but eye really don't know where or how.

Just have to put a lid on it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/04/2013 03:58:39
I'm trying to reach my 6000th post. But have I made a rod for my own back? Or am I in conetension?
OK, what do I get for this my 6000th post?

Might it be an award, or might it be 6000 lashes?

If an award, can it be another caravan to add to my collection?

I do so love to amas caravans.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F616723C1-FA95-4830-8ED1-F84C6A5390E4-214-0000000E0FD3AFC3.jpg&hash=775711fb164207d92bfbb09b2c9fbf12)P O S T S by Don_1!!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/04/2013 04:06:32
Curses, all I seem to achieved is Neilep level membership.

Ah well, at least this will take the punning thread to 2870 posts. All I have to do is fit a pun in here somewhere, but eye really don't know where or how.

Just have to put a lid on it.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F7B416C9C-97A0-4223-B954-5A960399D3B9-214-000000105D991B5D.jpg&hash=27979fd9b4f33e8d1278f23f3c650a96)

Doesn't Don_1 seem qualified/expert enough to answer "I lid" questions to anyone concerned? I vote yes.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/04/2013 04:15:43
Getting back to Anna, her voice coach declared "I'll mak you lar if its the last thing I do.

How do we know if her voice coach (well known for his lusty inclinations) has degeneration on his mind?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/04/2013 08:28:37
Demo, I really must warn you not to make a spectacle of yourself making accusations about McTavish. The last person to do so brought such shame upon the family matriarch that McTavish took him to court for bringing a stygma t' iz mother.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/04/2013 16:02:44
My podiatrist suggested I go to see a tree surgeon because I have a corn growng on my foot.
What's next? Cornea puns???

(corn, cornear, corneast???)

Damnation! You obviously saw that coming.
Really! A comment there was irisistable. Socket to me!
What's next? Cornea puns???

(corn, cornear, corneast???)

I can't help wondering if your doing OK here, or bit off more than you can chew.
Anna (yep, she's back) was taught her scales by a Scottish voice coach. She was fine with doh, ra, me etc but had some trouble when it came to 'la'.

After just a few days McTavish said "Och you la just fine the noo".
This is a good sight for punning. Vis you all join in.
Cauliflower is good for soothing tired eyes. Just boil a floret in a cup of milk and bathe.
I'm trying to reach my 6000th post. But have I made a rod for my own back? Or am I in conetension?
YES!!! I'm nearly there, I'm at the brow of the hill.
OK, what do I get for this my 6000th post?

Might it be an award, or might it be 6000 lashes?

If an award, can it be another caravan to add to my collection?

I do so love to amas caravans.
Curses, all I seem to achieved is Neilep level membership.

Ah well, at least this will take the punning thread to 2870 posts. All I have to do is fit a pun in here somewhere, but eye really don't know where or how.

Just have to put a lid on it.
Demo, I really must warn you not to make a spectacle of yourself making accusations about McTavish. The last person to do so brought such shame upon the family matriarch that McTavish took him to court for bringing a stygma t' iz mother.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F3FF616EF-0DF2-483E-BBD1-B47D6CAA0A1D-364-0000002C181F51CE.jpg&hash=63a7274d22cb14d38bd11479d847248a)

Don_1, you most brilliantly OUTDID yourself on this eye-popping,  eye-punning, eye-control of yours above!

Congatulations on your Spotlight on The Golden Eye Award!
http://vivamost.com/2012/09/spotlight-on-the-golden-eye-awards/


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/04/2013 00:51:30

Oh how I just love Boobies........

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.nationalgeographic.com%2Fwpf%2Fmedia-live%2Fphotos%2F000%2F004%2Fcache%2Fblue-footed-booby_473_600x450.jpg&hash=9ce66975b1220b2541a6a4fe186473f7)
Blue Footed Booby,

(National Geographic (http://www.tilleysvintagemagazines.com/gallery/76f6580b30f0923bafbe3ee08c53e950.JPG))


Errrrrrr.......Don_1.....are you SURE that is a link to National Geographic above??? (TRY it!)
<giggle>
<blush>


Never mind a booby, I smell a rat!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2F68B00F-D009-4971-9697-6D8681DACA71-865-0000006C73989FFD.jpg&hash=41fbe264629a30605cc10f8c7984afc9)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/04/2013 11:40:34

Don_1, you most brilliantly OUTDID yourself on this eye-popping,  eye-punning, eye-control of yours above!

Congatulations on your Spotlight on The Golden Eye Award!
http://vivamost.com/2012/09/spotlight-on-the-golden-eye-awards/


Aye aye Capt. Demo, Eye had to laugh at this.

Are you perchance the son of eyerish immigrants, or perhaps your ancestors came from a certain town in Cambridgeshire (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye,_Cambridgeshire). Maybe your ancestors were from Paris and had something to do with the eyefel tower.

I hope you are not offended by what I have suggested here, I should hate this post to be a flop, typical of some of my lesser posts.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/04/2013 11:43:21
LOOK UP THERE!

A raptor hunting for food.

It must be a hawk, eye saw it first.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/04/2013 11:47:09
I was asked which was my favourite Grand Master, Van Gough, Rubens, Constable......

I said I would have to opt for Titian.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/04/2013 11:50:13
I came across a man with sponge and custard in one eye and fruit and jelly in the other, he said he was treyeful blind.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/04/2013 11:53:35
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fichef.bbci.co.uk%2Fnaturelibrary%2Fimages%2Fic%2Fcredit%2F640x395%2Fa%2Fay%2Faye-aye%2Faye-aye_1.jpg&hash=40418fd19962d979ef9fda88c907cdf7)

Aye-aye (http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/life/Aye-aye)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/04/2013 11:57:22
I went into my local phone shop for a new flashy mobile.

"Do you have any stereo phones?" I asked

"No" Came the reply

Oh well, I suppose I shal just have to make a mono call then.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/04/2013 11:59:53
There are so many channels on the TV these days, but there is a great deal of tele scope for improvement.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/04/2013 12:10:48
After removing some wallpaper for redecorating, the wife said "That wall will need re-plastering." My reply was, "Why? eye patch it up and it will be OK".
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/04/2013 12:41:09
Had an eye test the other day, "How far can you read down this?" asked the optician:
 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/04/2013 12:47:13
I was to have a secret liason with my mistress, but had slipped and twisted my ankle.

There was only one thing for it, I would have hop to me tryst.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/04/2013 12:57:03
Our local baker is noted for his subleyeme stolens.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/04/2013 13:03:54
My neighbour found a half chewed bird in his garden, "How do I get the truth out of my cats as to which one is the culprit?" he asked. I came up with a torturous solution, "Cat, a rack would be the solution".
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/04/2013 13:08:51
"I have a sure-fire way of knowing if an operation has been successful," said the surgeon, "after the op tickle the foot".
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/04/2013 01:24:56
Had an eye test the other day, "How far can you read down this?" asked the optician:
 [ Invalid Attachment ]

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F6EC8A802-6B89-49CD-9404-CA8E5C035EC4-149-00000007AE1FA3CC.jpg&hash=31fb2e1186818bce6e3c40f46409a811)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/04/2013 03:18:27
Had an eye test the other day, "How far can you read down this?" asked the optician:
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/04/2013 04:24:29

Are you perchance the son of eyerish immigrants, or perhaps your ancestors came from a certain town in Cambridgeshire (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eye,_Cambridgeshire).
Eye am not, and no, theye didn't.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/04/2013 08:08:00
My neighbour asked "Was that you eye sore watering the garden in the rain yesterday?" My response was, "Eye, watering? No you must be mistaken."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/04/2013 08:11:08
When she was young, our daughter had a Cabbage Patch doll and a Tiny Tears doll, but it was Barbie that was her eyedol.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/04/2013 08:15:04
Look, compacted snow on the road!
Eye see
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/04/2013 08:18:04
I felt very nervous when I went for my first ever job interveiw. The boss eyed me up and down.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/04/2013 08:30:36
We were having a spot of trouble with our TV reception, so the wife watched the picture as I adjusted the aerial.

"No, that's no good........ that's even worse......... try it the other way....... Oh yes, now that's clera....... just a fraction more that way......... Cor oid leave it at that, if I were you."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/04/2013 08:36:01
British Prime Minister, David Lloyd George, used to hate it when people greeted him with the words 'Hiya Lloyd.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/04/2013 08:52:02
An alien looking around a clothing shop was puzzled by the garments.
"W-h-a-t  i-s  th-i-s?" he asked, the assistant said, "Its a shirt ET." "A-n-d  w-h-a-t  a-b-o-u-t  th-i-s?" "Its a sock ET."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/04/2013 08:54:54
It was a beautiful day yesterday, I sat in the sun, glasses of cola at hand.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/04/2013 08:57:25
When we are done with these 'eye' puns, perhaps we should turn to puns on tea, coffee, fruit juice and water, we could do with a little aqueous humour. After all, we can't go on with 'eye' puns fo' evea. Mind you, they do make you laugh.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/04/2013 14:11:26
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F61746283-33E8-416E-AE7B-0AFDB9B82D34-252-00000020FD70224B.jpg&hash=a24fd22bb127f76da6e6d7e2242156f8)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/04/2013 15:01:23
E by gum! That's an eye openner, but there's no mention of the fovea, macular, suspensory ligament and aqueous humour, only the vitreous humour. E name all the parts please.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/04/2013 15:06:00
Now I suppose you are going to tell me I've got a nerve and not bo be so sillary.

I shall go sit in the church to take my medication........ a pew pill.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/04/2013 15:10:16
..... only the vitreous humour. E name all the parts please.

Does that give you a sinking feeling?

Oh! Look, I've got to the aqueous humour, a water related pun.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/04/2013 02:00:21
I only worry about the eyesolation that all this focus on the "I" will bring to Punning Thread!

What if the moderators deem us insufficiently eyessimilated or eyecculturated to be merged in to Western forum socketciety???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/04/2013 02:05:36
E by gum! That's an eye openner, but there's no mention of the fovea, macular, suspensory ligament and aqueous humour, only the vitreous humour. E name all the parts please.

Is this better?

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FD0B9586F-88CC-4F3A-8BF9-96FDC7EFC887-252-000000CB6F64DBAF.jpg&hash=2e1c9f32b110a13c0d31782d2ac5d15f)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F58B6628A-4647-4679-9B83-5E6B7491EDF4-252-000000CCA35137BC.jpg&hash=934c3480ce2ee1002de9fa1140aadefa)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FBA278237-8195-403A-8811-26154A8EE23B-252-000000CE35EEB83E.jpg&hash=4915e4a77cfcf56992cdea53ec94e31b)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FCD2E3234-8E7B-4908-92F4-2F49F09F1C50-252-000000D073016069.jpg&hash=88dc11af9d1e759610e5975815477e20)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/04/2013 20:26:51
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F659D9B81-108F-4B1A-88BF-E6A607D212D0-412-00000041933A45AC.jpg&hash=495cadc1356b747f1aabf33a3f9fee14)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/04/2013 20:33:06




(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FBA1B4667-6CD7-47F4-92C5-16458D08FEFA-286-000000238F51B15A.jpg&hash=1dbda3de3df605a7da4f78c93416a487)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 28/04/2013 11:07:34
The Eye-Q test
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/04/2013 11:41:19
The Eye-Q test

It can certainly be a testing time when you have to Q to C an optician.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/04/2013 11:44:13
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F659D9B81-108F-4B1A-88BF-E6A607D212D0-412-00000041933A45AC.jpg&hash=495cadc1356b747f1aabf33a3f9fee14)

No wonder that Latvian immigrant walked out of Specsavers in disgust.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/04/2013 11:53:01
Is there an optician who offers non-invasive home operations and cares for the environment by using a push bike to visit his patients?

Yes, but he only has one eye himself, hence he practices under the trade name "Cycle Ops".
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/04/2013 19:29:04
The Eye-Q test

It can certainly be a testing time when you have to Q to C an optician.

And it's most Nnoying to sit on your S in the waiting room forevear!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 28/04/2013 22:40:52
what does the word campabella mean - kind of rings a bell
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/04/2013 04:53:20
what does the word campabella mean - kind of rings a bell

Is it this?

"Campobello is located in northwestern Spartanburg County. Before the Civil War the land was part of a large plantation owned by Joseph Davis. One day, as visitors were leaving on horseback, they stopped and looked back at the rolling farmland and someone in the group exclaimed, "Campa bella" meaning "beautiful field." Because it was such a fitting description, Davis adopted the Italian phrase as the name for his estate.

A room in Mr. Davis' home was designated as the area post office. The change from Campabella to Campobello probably occurred as a result of a postal clerk's poor handwriting."
http://www.sciway.net/city/campobello.html
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/04/2013 07:20:45
Had an eye test the other day, "How far can you read down this?" asked the optician:
 [ Invalid Attachment ]

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F6EC8A802-6B89-49CD-9404-CA8E5C035EC4-149-00000007AE1FA3CC.jpg&hash=31fb2e1186818bce6e3c40f46409a811)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F5280BC02-07B5-43A7-AEE6-97C13F88A7E8-949-000000D73F7752BE.jpg&hash=2e8703efbc636446bc1399f2efd95b91)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/04/2013 07:48:12
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F09E8D378-EF0F-4676-B1D9-4E1A0E7B4C67-128-0000000707FA83E7.jpg&hash=6f1417b5d3b4764518b454c2ccd699d5)

Eye contact is very important.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/04/2013 12:30:13
what does the word campabella mean - kind of rings a bell

Is it an effeminate ding-dong?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/04/2013 13:21:53

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F09E8D378-EF0F-4676-B1D9-4E1A0E7B4C67-128-0000000707FA83E7.jpg&hash=6f1417b5d3b4764518b454c2ccd699d5)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fshocked%2Fvery-shocked-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=ac946223d720f60e1b5dc28d7195b472) What a wonderful pair of....... erm....... eyes?!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fhearts%2Flove-heart.gif&hash=d9d3e358894d9b7af32aa5845ae04184) I could play with look into them for hours!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/04/2013 13:26:00
"I think I need glasses Doc."

"Really? Come over to the window. Now, look up there, tell me what you see."

"The Sun."

"So, just how bloody far do you want to see?"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/04/2013 13:36:34
There is a village in Dorset where the folk all wear glasses.

The village mayor, Leonard is blind and has a guide dog. Asked about the dog's temperament, the mayor said "Len's a pet ure bound to love."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/04/2013 13:41:13
If you want to refresh your wardrobe, you can always re-colour some older faded items. Never do this in the morning, as you will need to hang them out to dry after the sun has gone down. Its always best to dilate.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/04/2013 17:26:16
what does the word campabella mean - kind of rings a bell

Doh! I finally "got it"!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/04/2013 17:55:33
If you want to refresh your wardrobe, you can always re-colour some older faded items. Never do this in the morning, as you will need to hang them out to dry after the sun has gone down. Its always best to dilate.

Good lesson for this pupil!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/05/2013 08:04:40

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fshocked%2Fvery-shocked-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=ac946223d720f60e1b5dc28d7195b472) What a wonderful pair of....... erm....... eyes?!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fhearts%2Flove-heart.gif&hash=d9d3e358894d9b7af32aa5845ae04184) I could play with look into them for hours!

I am skeptical. Answer only one question I have  -- and 
D O N ' T  you dare sneak a peek at the previous page!

QUESTIONABLE QUESTION PUT TO DON_1: What color are her eyes?

You must reply without looking at "Eye Contact" woman who was dressed appropriately for her (last) interview with you!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/05/2013 13:38:42
OK, I'll play along with you Demo and I promeyes not to take a sneak peak.

Eye, can de colour be mixed?

I must be honest, I didn't spend too much time looking into her eyes, its rude to stare. After a short while I let my eye drop to other features. I thought that might be a weyes move to make. T'is true I tell you, would I tell a leye

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/05/2013 13:45:30
I think I'll go to the Polar Cafe for lunch today. Their Oriental fruit and camembert entree is famous among polar explorers. Yes, they all love Leye cheese, in fact eyeseecallers on the horeyezon even now.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/05/2013 14:09:00
OK, so I just looked at the picture again and still can't see the colour of her eyes. Something seems to be getting in the way. Well, a couple of things actually.

Yes, she might well be described as 'buxom'. That is in that she makes some bucks for displaying her attributes.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/05/2013 17:50:51
OK, so I just looked at the picture again and still can't see the colour of her eyes. Something seems to be getting in the way. Well, a couple of things actually.

Yes, she might well be described as 'buxom'. That is in that she makes some bucks  [double pun duly noted] for displaying her attributes.

No! No! No! I said to watch out for bugs on her photographs! Possible printing irregularities, you know!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fassignments.ds106.us%2Ffiles%2F2012%2F12%2Fsaint-300x200.gif&hash=c240c1813014f65ddd680c44c8612082)
*recent Demo photo
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/05/2013 18:03:50
Getting back to the tantaleyesing bint young lady with the fine pair of ti eyes, I promise, I have not looked at her eyes to give me a clue (no surpeyes there), were they brown?

I haven't a clue, I'd have to look...

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F-PHE1mip9V6E%2FTRvEiy9CEbI%2FAAAAAAAABZc%2F5n5GzQYgUBM%2Fs1600%2Fwhoops.jpg&hash=493fb85fc9de2719a94aad09132aaaf4)
*HS = Don_1 High Sign
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/05/2013 18:41:10
OK, I'll play along with you Demo and I promeyes not to take a sneak peak.

This reminds me of the promeyes of some tailors I know: they're pure fabrication.

Eye, can de colour be mixed?

Those who eat can de with both hands are ambi-dextrose

I must be honest, I didn't spend too much time looking into her eyes, its rude to stare.

If you stared at her belly button too much, you'd be promoted demoted to Navel Officer.

After a short while I let my eye drop to other features. I thought that might be a weyes move to make. T'is true I tell you, would I tell a leye

You remind me of all the waterfowl who keep their eyes closed except for one. He is a Peking Duck.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/05/2013 18:42:18

I think I'll go to the Polar Cafe for lunch today. Their Oriental fruit and camembert entree is famous among polar explorers. Yes, they all love Leye cheese, in fact eyeseecallers on the horeyezon even now.

I hope they're not connected to The Polar Bar. You once said, "Not the Alaskan Polar Bar! That's a real grizzly place. They only sell brown ale, you can't even get a Coca Koala there!"

Eye, for one, would not be pleased there.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/05/2013 18:52:03
"I think I need glasses Doc."

"Really? Come over to the window. Now, look up there, tell me what you see."

"The Sun."

"So, just how bloody far do you want to see?"

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthumbs.dreamstime.com%2Fthumblarge_459%2F12603759365ZA8dl.jpg&hash=ad43240ec68f57745021c9fc5802dd03)

"Your invoice is in the mail!"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/05/2013 05:23:37

[Dorset's] village mayor, Leonard is blind and has a guide dog. Asked about the dog's temperament, the mayor said "Len's a pet ure bound to love."

The mayor had trouble with the fine print on some of Dorset's village documents, so his doctor suggested contract lenses.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/05/2013 05:48:33

I did notice she has a rather nice and somewhat revealing blouse on.


Don_1, try to expand your vocabulary from a merely generic English/American "blouse" to the more all-encompassing, intriguing, German-origin "platzbluse". Our audience is becoming more world-embracing!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FD1DEE8DB-063B-4050-AD47-063698986AA2-544-0000003D4A0D3D34.jpg&hash=add5ae0bdf3cd1d9bd6745f5484cb2b4)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/05/2013 13:01:33
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FD1DEE8DB-063B-4050-AD47-063698986AA2-544-0000003D4A0D3D34.jpg&hash=add5ae0bdf3cd1d9bd6745f5484cb2b4)

Oh I say!!! What an ample young lady you are.

Now let Dr Don just check your heart. Hmmm....... Hmmmmmmm.... Opps, I've dropped my stethoscope, not much chance of finding it in here. Not so much a stethoscope I need right now as a periscope!
 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/05/2013 13:09:42

You remind me of all the waterfowl who keep their eyes closed except for one. He is a Peking Duck.


Well it was eider that or some other duck.

Man,d you're in good form today.

Just to qualify that pun:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2F8%2F85%2FAix_galericulata_-_Z%25C3%25BCrich_-_Hafen_Riesbach_2011-01-14_15-58-32.JPG%2F220px-Aix_galericulata_-_Z%25C3%25BCrich_-_Hafen_Riesbach_2011-01-14_15-58-32.JPG&hash=b2f21af627f159f44c07d6d720c7576d)
Mandarin Duck

See I can find pictures of pretty birds too!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/05/2013 13:13:45

If you stared at her belly button too much, you'd be promoted demoted to Navel Officer.


I used to be an Ordinary $££^^&^ First Class. NO, NO, NO. I'm sorry, I'm just not going there!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/05/2013 13:18:35

This reminds me of the promeyes of some tailors I know: they're pure fabrication.


What side do you dress sir?
Inside usually!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/05/2013 13:23:05

Those who eat can de with both hands are ambi-dextrose


Hmm.... Let me see, I need a 'sugar' pun......
Let me see, there's dextrose, sucrose, fructose..... No, I'm not going there either!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/05/2013 13:24:59

This reminds me of the promeyes of some tailors I know: they're pure fabrication.


I see you cottoned on to that old trick.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/05/2013 13:30:53

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fassignments.ds106.us%2Ffiles%2F2012%2F12%2Fsaint-300x200.gif&hash=c240c1813014f65ddd680c44c8612082)
*recent Demo photo


McTavish has taken the day off of his training Anne to 'La' properly when practicing her scales, so I'm standing in for him.

So, aS i'mon Temp lar training, I can tell you that thiS aint quite all it appears.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/05/2013 13:37:51
Halo all.

STREWTH, after concocting that one I thought 'that's a Rod you're making for your own back', I can't do any Moore.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/05/2013 19:33:08

Man,d you're in good form today.


Yangtze very much!


Just to qualify that pun:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2F8%2F85%2FAix_galericulata_-_Z%25C3%25BCrich_-_Hafen_Riesbach_2011-01-14_15-58-32.JPG%2F220px-Aix_galericulata_-_Z%25C3%25BCrich_-_Hafen_Riesbach_2011-01-14_15-58-32.JPG&hash=b2f21af627f159f44c07d6d720c7576d)
Mandarin Duck

See I can find pictures of pretty birds too!

Yes, and mine flew the coup just as much as yours did!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/05/2013 19:40:14

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fassignments.ds106.us%2Ffiles%2F2012%2F12%2Fsaint-300x200.gif&hash=c240c1813014f65ddd680c44c8612082)
*recent Demo photo


I can tell you that thiS aint quite all it appears.


Oh, I can tell you all quite assuredly that Don_1 is simply...slightly envious...of (1) my everlasting youth and (2) my most obvious deeply pious nature -- which he (or I!) shall never hope wish to attain.

 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/05/2013 22:57:07

Hmm.... Let me see, I need a 'sugar' pun......
Let me see, there's dextrose, sucrose, fructose..... No, I'm not going there either!



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FD14CDCE5-C5E5-4590-AFB2-D8914C10BB52-2269-000001145FFE1F6E.jpg&hash=609ca1239ca9ef9ada169ba808a20ae8)

I can't make funny scientific circles like Don_1 can (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FD0B9F5CE-8C18-4E43-8BB3-A9DE44C1CBBE-2269-000001198A50F662.jpg&hash=b49935e0a21807006530b8c4a110fb32) (around fructose).
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F99929556-F33A-454D-BAF4-C20A220260BE-2269-00000117423BF57E.jpg&hash=a9a88214b97edf6bd2970d2ec81b7581)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/05/2013 15:34:16

Yangtze very much!


In Downtown LA the locals sing 'Yangtze doodle went to town, riding on a pony.....'

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/05/2013 15:40:14
........my most obvious deeply pious nature -- 

You're fooling nobody Demo, 'tis I who doth have the most deep pious nature.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.guim.co.uk%2Fsys-images%2FGuardian%2FPix%2Fpictures%2F2009%2F11%2F30%2F1259574905888%2FRaised-partridge-pie-001.jpg&hash=f7a027530b5f8de41aab75cb24d4d784)
Deep pie - game filled.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/05/2013 15:43:58
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F99929556-F33A-454D-BAF4-C20A220260BE-2269-00000117423BF57E.jpg&hash=a9a88214b97edf6bd2970d2ec81b7581)

You talk to my metatarsals like that again......
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/05/2013 15:47:15
Its about time we had a tad more glamour around here.

That Demo is to blame, he got me started on this, I'm just trying to keep a breast of the time, like this young lady:-

 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/05/2013 16:01:35
No feeble imitations of the above image please. We don't want to be fobbed off with second hand pictures, so I'll be watching you. Offenders will set alarm bells ringing and be awristed and face a jail sentence from which there will be no escapement.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/05/2013 19:36:47
........my most obvious deeply pious nature -- 

You're fooling nobody Demo, 'tis I who doth have the most deep pious nature.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.guim.co.uk%2Fsys-images%2FGuardian%2FPix%2Fpictures%2F2009%2F11%2F30%2F1259574905888%2FRaised-partridge-pie-001.jpg&hash=f7a027530b5f8de41aab75cb24d4d784)
Deep pie - game filled.



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB638FAB1-FB84-46D2-A8A8-4CC3E3B45F08-333-00000014681717F1.jpg&hash=b8b220f354c00ac94bfebe3fa6b4aab6)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/05/2013 21:04:37
Its about time we had a tad more glamour around here.

 [ Invalid Attachment ]

Buxom nurse with fob watch.jpg (26.27 kB, 453x541)

No Bugs on nurse image detected. Please proceed with "more glands glamor", Don_1!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/05/2013 21:45:59
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F99929556-F33A-454D-BAF4-C20A220260BE-2269-00000117423BF57E.jpg&hash=a9a88214b97edf6bd2970d2ec81b7581)

You talk to my metatarsals like that again......

Is this better?

"Hi..."
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F6D622976-49F9-4F58-B6BF-5D74539E0327-333-0000002C02D5FE3A.jpg&hash=74155f6a9a91a8462dd04e2c677dade0)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/05/2013 21:57:53
But I certainly wasn't implying THIS!...

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F127F43B1-0F50-468F-BC3E-F9F08632AEE0-101-000000045B92A934.jpg&hash=f53afa023e5af51300a684df8a9dd7b0)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/05/2013 00:31:04

McTavish has taken the day off of his training Anne to 'La' properly when practicing her scales, so I'm standing in for him.


About time. We're getting impatient with the quality of Anne's 'la's'.

At least that was the case the la'st time we heard her sing Do-Re-Mi-Fa-So-??-Ti-Do!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/05/2013 20:01:04
Had an eye test the other day, "How far can you read down this?" asked the optician:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F96432697-B157-46CF-84AA-0A147D5ADDA7-496-000000318FFEBF9B.jpg&hash=53dad83c97406d32b74dfd60682ac297)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F1E7CFC21-5311-4B7D-9FC7-CA942C7B3D2F-496-0000003029B5BA98.jpg&hash=80f817bd1fe9a40c4c92cf71b008061c)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 07/05/2013 02:43:46
Oh my !!!   Demo is stigmatatizied

no Mont Python, no less  (Meaning of Li....... )
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/05/2013 03:01:23
Oh my !!!   Demo is stigmatatizied

no Mont Python, no less  (Meaning of Li....... )

Optometry students need to be devoted, much like the Catholic saints. Are you too willing to experience a stigmata-ism?

(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/3903120128/h8614F675/)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/05/2013 10:01:37
But I certainly wasn't implying THIS!...

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F127F43B1-0F50-468F-BC3E-F9F08632AEE0-101-000000045B92A934.jpg&hash=f53afa023e5af51300a684df8a9dd7b0)

Ah yes, a hideous condition of the foot caused by excessive driving called car rot.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/05/2013 10:07:03
Oh my !!!   Demo is stigmatatizied

no Mont Python, no less  (Meaning of Li....... )

Demo is like some other people when he feels unwell, doesn't want to see or speak to anyone.

No matter whether it is a respiratory, gastric or optical ill, u shun everybody.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/05/2013 10:14:25
Oh my !!!   Demo is stigmatatizied

no Mont Python, no less  (Meaning of Li....... )

Optometry students need to be devoted, much like the Catholic saints. Are you too willing to experience a stigmata-ism?

(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/3903120128/h8614F675/)

Well, if that's Stigmata, this must be........
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholic.org%2Fimages%2Fsaints%2Fstigmata%2F9.jpg&hash=95a7a3bfa1bb53e3c3ac8debd6c77897)

STIGVATER.

Tch, tch, tch, these catholics, into crossdressing too!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/05/2013 10:22:53
'Just call me angle* of the morning'.

*No, that wasn't a misspelling.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/05/2013 10:29:19
I do quite like a spot of the traditional old English fish & chips once in a while. Sometimes I will stig 'mata sauce on the plate to dip my chips into.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/05/2013 10:40:37
Those of you who are familiar with the BBC's motoring magazine 'Top Gear', will know that racing and stunt car driver Ben Collins, blew his cover after his mother was seen giving him his packed lunch while on set for a take on the performance of a new sports car. It was obvious when someone announced 'the stig's mata.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2F7%2F75%2FThe_Stig_British_International_Motor_Show_.jpg%2F220px-The_Stig_British_International_Motor_Show_.jpg&hash=f02987da4d48e49277d8107055ea8d77)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/05/2013 10:49:19
I used to have 105mm f2.8 macro Stigmata.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.simplyelectronics.net%2Fimages%2Fproducts%2FSigma%2520MACRO%2520105mm%2520F2.8%2520EX%2520DG%2520OS%2520HSM%2520%28Canon%2520Fit%29.jpg&hash=a855c1c85194d4de951bdb901c3a61ba)

But I now have a 105mm f2.8 micro Nikkor.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wexphotographic.com%2Fwebcontent%2Fproduct_images%2Fthumbnails%2F168%2F1012423.gif&hash=5ec7c2ef6c59f75147263f7daa564bfc)

Though it's a much better lens, its no good for this pun.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/05/2013 12:05:42
But I certainly wasn't implying THIS!...

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F127F43B1-0F50-468F-BC3E-F9F08632AEE0-101-000000045B92A934.jpg&hash=f53afa023e5af51300a684df8a9dd7b0)

Ah yes, a hideous condition of the foot caused by excessive driving called car rot.

...a condition of the foot sadly exacerbated by an often fatal sudden acceleryation of the car rot.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/05/2013 12:10:21
I used to have 105mm f2.8 macro Stigmata.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.simplyelectronics.net%2Fimages%2Fproducts%2FSigma%2520MACRO%2520105mm%2520F2.8%2520EX%2520DG%2520OS%2520HSM%2520%28Canon%2520Fit%29.jpg&hash=a855c1c85194d4de951bdb901c3a61ba)

But I now have a 105mm f2.8 micro Nikkor.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wexphotographic.com%2Fwebcontent%2Fproduct_images%2Fthumbnails%2F168%2F1012423.gif&hash=5ec7c2ef6c59f75147263f7daa564bfc)

Though it's a much better lens, its no good for this pun.

But it keeps the eye on the ball lens.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/05/2013 14:24:43

No matter whether it is a respiratory, gastric or optical ill, u shun everybody.

At a job interview, I decided to lie and say I had experience as an illusionist and as a window cleaner.

They saw right through me.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/05/2013 20:15:30
I do quite like a spot of the traditional old English fish & chips once in a while.


I once had fish & chips every day for a year.

My stomach took a battering.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/05/2013 20:19:58
Oh my !!!   Demo is stigmatatizied

no Mont Python, no less  (Meaning of Li....... )

Optometry students need to be devoted, much like the Catholic saints. Are you too willing to experience a stigmata-ism?

(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/3903120128/h8614F675/)

Well, if that's Stigmata, this must be........
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.catholic.org%2Fimages%2Fsaints%2Fstigmata%2F9.jpg&hash=95a7a3bfa1bb53e3c3ac8debd6c77897)

STIGVATER.

Tch, tch, tch, these catholics, into crossdressing too!

Looks more like a Drama Queen to me!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 10/05/2013 00:19:23
Dame It Captin, I'm givvin herr all shes got - scotty
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/05/2013 07:27:45
Dame It Captin, I'm givvin herr all shes got - scotty
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F6256428E-BA5B-4F93-B778-5A7B7712D824-1206-000000BC3D307BA5.jpg&hash=6d9dc592b5693c294fd10f2362136719)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/05/2013 07:33:39
I do quite like a spot of the traditional old English fish & chips once in a while.

I once had fish & chips every day for a year.

My stomach took a battering.


A fisherman hated (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.galaxyneonsigns.com%2Fimages%2FAN%2FLED-Animation%2F25401-25598%2F25498.gif&hash=aa2b8e0fb836f5a5bd70ab41537abeb2) but he didn't tell a sole.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/05/2013 08:08:13
I was asked which was my favourite Grand Master, Van Gogh, Rubens, Constable......

I said I would have to opt for Titian.

The ophthalmologist was called to testify because he was the only eye witness.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 10/05/2013 19:35:52
ALL HE SAID WAS - AYE MATE
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/05/2013 20:57:10
Yes, but how can AYE make sure????
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 11/05/2013 00:42:11

A fisherman hated (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.galaxyneonsigns.com%2Fimages%2FAN%2FLED-Animation%2F25401-25598%2F25498.gif&hash=aa2b8e0fb836f5a5bd70ab41537abeb2) but he didn't tell a sole.


That's the thing about fishermen, they know their plaice.

I gave a loan shark a rather unwell cephalopod today. "What's this?" he enquired, I said "Its that six quid I owe you".

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/05/2013 12:13:36
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F_aWflL2jDpWU%2FSXNXb0aMSCI%2FAAAAAAAADmA%2Fc-0MwUcMjhs%2Fs400%2Floan-shark.jpg&hash=43152ed27fcc262a8ef3ab106beb8fb0)

THAT  loan shark? Mr. I. C. Usury! I worked with him too!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/05/2013 12:51:25
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fichef.bbci.co.uk%2Fnaturelibrary%2Fimages%2Fic%2Fcredit%2F640x395%2Fa%2Fay%2Faye-aye%2Faye-aye_1.jpg&hash=40418fd19962d979ef9fda88c907cdf7)

Aye-aye (http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/life/Aye-aye)

Looks cute. I bet not costly to acquire. But maintenance diet? I'll go broke, because everything it sees to eat, it will scream, "AYE AYE!" and I will have to buy it!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 11/05/2013 19:47:19
 Aye, captain, the warp drive is acting up.

Aye, scotty, so 'tis -  the little LEMURIAN
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/05/2013 22:25:09
Aye, captain, the warp drive is acting up.

Aye, scotty, so 'tis -  the little LEMURIAN

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FEB6829DD-5704-4300-B0FA-56B71B12EA87-401-0000001A71CD2924.jpg&hash=96e9c08591e99d14fd3263762ae4021c)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 12/05/2013 00:32:57
That land 'tis a strange place.

"You will find there a strange species of Lemur", Ian said.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 12/05/2013 00:41:32
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fichef.bbci.co.uk%2Fnaturelibrary%2Fimages%2Fic%2Fcredit%2F640x395%2Fa%2Fay%2Faye-aye%2Faye-aye_1.jpg&hash=40418fd19962d979ef9fda88c907cdf7)

Aye-aye (http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/life/Aye-aye)

Looks cute. I bet not costly to acquire. But maintenance diet? I'll go broke, because everything it sees to eat, it will scream, "AYE AYE!" and I will have to buy it!!!

Indeed, when it comes to its diet, its a right little bugger.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/05/2013 01:14:57

[The Aye-Aye] looks cute. I bet not costly to acquire. But maintenance diet? I'll go broke, because everything it sees to eat, it will scream, "AYE AYE!" and I will have to buy it!!!

Indeed, when it comes to its diet, its a right little bugger.

Bugs have very diverse religious views, because they are all in sects.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 12/05/2013 01:30:19

........ all in sects.


Back in the 60's a group of miniskirted young lovelies ask me if I wanted to join their sects.

When I went along one night, I felt such a fool when they explained all about their sects, especially since I had come with a lifetime supply of condoms.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 12/05/2013 01:56:52
How did you fit all those flats into your truck??????????
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/05/2013 11:00:00

........ all in sects.


Back in the 60's a group of miniskirted young lovelies ask me if I wanted to join their sects.

When I went along one night, I felt such a fool when they explained all about their sects, especially since I had come with a lifetime supply of condoms.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F3F03493C-86D2-4E17-94F1-FD8866C6A3AB-401-000000A29109F6EA.jpg&hash=19300892437f592ffd5b57ef7cb7f156)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/05/2013 11:30:09
How did you fit all those flats into your truck??????????

First, he needs an authorized statement shown on his truck:

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F568F812C-9DBC-4A05-BE73-8229A5F3C773-401-000000AB9CC95639.jpg&hash=8c6252ec2fb2a26147653c30d0d5a000)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/05/2013 16:42:39
Today, May 12, 2013, is:
Mother's Day!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2EE210A4-B3BE-47C8-A7D1-6D7F90FE1963-155-0000000672141243.jpg&hash=9a1090cde8fa347ccd1b2c8746ea9af0)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/05/2013 17:13:31
• He didn't tell his mother that he ate some glue. His lips were sealed.

• Two brothers fought over some sheet music but their mother wanted to keep the piece.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 12/05/2013 18:56:34
LAST ONE ABOVE ---

HUH - WHAT ?????????
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 12/05/2013 18:57:51
PS 

use of this causes infertility    AND THUS NO MOTHERS FOR THIS PARTICULAR SUNDAY IN THE US: MOTHER'S DAY   Happy day, Muthas
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/05/2013 23:08:25

• He didn't tell his mother that he ate some glue. His lips were sealed.

• Two brothers fought over some sheet music but their mother wanted to keep the piece.

LAST ONE ABOVE ---

HUH - WHAT ?????????

Mother puns for Mother's Day.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 13/05/2013 03:22:25
homemade pickle wanna-be's if set at room temperature develop a white substance similar in most respects to smegma. The white pickle jar substance is called mother if it is in the pickle jar. Just don't eat it. ==

The Darts side board: Pickels hard boiled eggs, beer or stout, salted nuts..

All this made possible by the action of the mother on the pickles.......

thanks MOM MUTHAH
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 13/05/2013 03:29:05
It's being on the pickle that makes mother.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/05/2013 07:36:12
It's being on the pickle that makes mother.

I wanted a career with a big hamburger chain but I got into a pickle when I couldn't cut the mustard.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/05/2013 10:09:26
How did you fit all those flats into your truck??????????

I was taken hook, line & sinker by some tricksters. They sold me the freehold on the flats.
It was only later that I discovered it was a con, dominian over the properties was already held by the tenants.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/05/2013 10:12:17

.....some sheet music ............


I didn't think it was that bad.

Sheet music (http://www.ishitmusic.com/)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/05/2013 13:34:54

.....some sheet music ............


I didn't think it was that bad.

Sheet music (http://www.ishitmusic.com/)

Perhaps they've got it wrong, Don_1, it's "ass backwards" as we say here!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 13/05/2013 17:00:35
We Americans do have a great cultural asset do we not?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/05/2013 18:23:28

.....some sheet music ............


I didn't think it was that bad.

Sheet music (http://www.ishitmusic.com/)

Perhaps they've got it wrong, Don_1, it's "ass backwards" as we say here!
We Americans do have a great cultural asset do we not?

A criminal's best asset is his lie ability.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/05/2013 23:25:32
May 13 - May 17, 2013 is:
National Etiquette Week

Hiring a prostitute has its own etiquette.

Be sure to follow the pro to call.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/05/2013 08:59:48
May 13 - May 17, 2013 is:
National Etiquette Week


It is always my custom to eat in the manners pertaining to the local, so it is that when eating apples I always de core 'em first.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/05/2013 09:01:41
May 13 - May 17, 2013 is:
National Etiquette Week

Hiring a prostitute has its own etiquette.

Be sure to follow the pro to call.


Be sure, when following a pro to call that you don't get arrested for kirb crawling.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/05/2013 09:11:00
When it comes to the classical arts, we quite enjoy ballet, we think it a good mode us. Opera 'nd I, however do not get on well together.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/05/2013 09:12:19
Right, that set a target for you Demo, a Latin pun! Beat that.

And don't be late in coming up with your response.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/05/2013 14:16:33
When it comes to the classical arts, we quite enjoy ballet, we think it a good mode us. Opera 'nd I, however do not get on well together.
Right, that set a target for you Demo, a Latin pun! Beat that.

And don't be late in coming up with your response.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F6924DB45-5530-4A88-BAA7-90FDF80A048A-171-00000008B7D5E956.jpg&hash=63b91d406260eaff9d9c19705b651700)

...proving that we don't need to be in Rome to speak as the Romans did.

by NO AUTHOR CREDITED
"Have you ever wanted to know how to converse in Latin just like the Romans did (without having to face the dangers of chariot racing)? When the kids are driving you crazy in the back seat of your car with that familiar phrase ... 'are we nearly there yet?', you can reply with grace and aplomb ... "Paene advenimus", or really impress the marvelous munchkins with your unforgettable wise words "Relinque me in pace!" (Leave me in peace!)"

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/05/2013 14:56:20
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FCAB87119-99D6-452F-AC2E-DE3670361543-117-0000000645FAC7A5.jpg&hash=a4068692356de8e578594868d08bce47)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/05/2013 15:00:24
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F43F5CCFD-FFBB-4DB0-A2BF-89BB5EE00AAA-117-00000007E612AB50.jpg&hash=568599e1a3687b487ae7da29d61fb6a2)


"Apudne te vel me?" -- Your place or mine?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/05/2013 23:01:52
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FD7C4E4F3-96D2-4BD8-8BDA-9681722B5C00-117-0000006EF86E0410.jpg&hash=4e675f4ec7232888864df02f02320210)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/05/2013 08:18:25
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F43F5CCFD-FFBB-4DB0-A2BF-89BB5EE00AAA-117-00000007E612AB50.jpg&hash=568599e1a3687b487ae7da29d61fb6a2)


"Apudne te vel me?" -- Your place or mine?

You have to marble marvel at this work of art.

In a modern copy made of concrete, they are depicted as having cemented their relationship.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/05/2013 08:24:37
At Roman games, cannibalism was sometimes witnessed. After consuming a young christian virgin the diner said he was glad he ate her.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/05/2013 08:30:47
Ut quicquam paradisi advolare naribus tuis.  

May the Bluebird of Paradise fly up your nose.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/05/2013 08:48:08
A couple of thousand years ago an ancestor of Anne (also named Ann) had the same problem with her scales, she just couldn't 'La' quite right. Ignatius was a well known vocal coach who gave her some training, but it seems to no availe.

One day she was caught making an awful noise as she practiced her scales before performing for the Emperor. "Call Ig, you La terrible." said a disgruntled senator.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/05/2013 08:54:50
A favourite weapon of some gladiators was the talons of birds of prey.

Christians who were about to die by this terrible means were made to stand in the arena
and announce to the Emperor, "By claw die us this day".
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/05/2013 09:09:00
A Centurion was bringing a young christian virgin slave for duties in the royal household. As she broke free of his grip and made a run for freedom, the Centurion called to the Emperor Augustus "Seize her!"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/05/2013 09:18:20
I was looking at some motor scooters when a salesman said, "Hello Sir, my name is Ian, is there anything I can help you with?"

I said, "Yes, actually there is, I have looked at the Lambrettas and the Peugeots, but where are the Vespas Ian?"

I must confess that hadr Ian not helped me I would never have found them. But then that is what salesmen are for, to server us.

He offered me a drink and asked if I wanted anything to eat. I said, "I wouldn't mind a cup of tea and a gord, Ian."

A pestering wasp was flying around my gourd, so Ian set about it with no concern for getting himself stung. At last the wasp fell to the ground. I exclaimed "By Jove Ian, you handled the situation with great Valer Ian."

He had dropped the magazine he had used to deal the fatal blow to the wasp, so I picked it up, handed it to him and asked, "Is this your Maxim Ian?"

Ian then said he would take me to the Vespas, saying, "There're not far, in fact they are quite nero."


One must always ceaser the opportunity to link one's puns.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/05/2013 09:21:36
The senator said to his wife, "Its no good, we'll not get the money for this project, the Emperor's tit as as ducks ass."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/05/2013 09:48:42
Here endeth the puns for now, but I shall be roman around looking for more.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/05/2013 11:01:19
A couple of thousand years ago an ancestor of Anne (also named Ann) had the same problem with her scales, she just couldn't 'La' quite right. Ignatius was a well known vocal coach who gave her some training, but it seems to no availe.

One day she was caught making an awful noise as she practiced her scales before performing for the Emperor. "Call Ig, you La terrible." said a disgruntled senator.

Herewith: Ann's "La" captured (simulated) by Hollywood Pet Food Actress, Beyonce II, in this amazing News Flash from The Guardian!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC9641615-8C1A-43A8-AC8A-840AD487AE3F-147-0000000AE2C5829A.jpg&hash=69fc4390293fdf986a7a2d6fe23fbb6b)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/05/2013 11:03:52
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F43F5CCFD-FFBB-4DB0-A2BF-89BB5EE00AAA-117-00000007E612AB50.jpg&hash=568599e1a3687b487ae7da29d61fb6a2)


"Apudne te vel me?" -- Your place or mine?

You have to marble marvel at this work of art.

In a modern copy made of concrete, they are depicted as having cemented their relationship.
At Roman games, cannibalism was sometimes witnessed. After consuming a young christian virgin the diner said he was glad he ate her.
Ut quicquam paradisi advolare naribus tuis.  

May the Bluebird of Paradise fly up your nose.
A couple of thousand years ago an ancestor of Anne (also named Ann) had the same problem with her scales, she just couldn't 'La' quite right. Ignatius was a well known vocal coach who gave her some training, but it seems to no availe.

One day she was caught making an awful noise as she practiced her scales before performing for the Emperor. "Call Ig, you La terrible." said a disgruntled senator.
A favourite weapon of some gladiators was the talons of birds of prey.

Christians who were about to die by this terrible means were made to stand in the arena
and announce to the Emperor, "By claw die us this day".
A Centurion was bringing a young christian virgin slave for duties in the royal household. As she broke free of his grip and made a run for freedom, the Centurion called to the Emperor Augustus "Seize her!"
I was looking at some motor scooters when a salesman said, "Hello Sir, my name is Ian, is there anything I can help you with?"

I said, "Yes, actually there is, I have looked at the Lambrettas and the Peugeots, but where are the Vespas Ian?"

I must confess that hadr Ian not helped me I would never have found them. But then that is what salesmen are for, to server us.

He offered me a drink and asked if I wanted anything to eat. I said, "I wouldn't mind a cup of tea and a gord, Ian."

A pestering wasp was flying around my gourd, so Ian set about it with no concern for getting himself stung. At last the wasp fell to the ground. I exclaimed "By Jove Ian, you handled the situation with great Valer Ian."

He had dropped the magazine he had used to deal the fatal blow to the wasp, so I picked it up, handed it to him and asked, "Is this your Maxim Ian?"

Ian then said he would take me to the Vespas, saying, "There're not far, in fact they are quite nero."


One must always ceaser the opportunity to link one's puns.
The senator said to his wife, "Its no good, we'll not get the money for this project, the Emperor's tit as as ducks ass."
Here endeth the puns for now, but I shall be roman around looking for more.

=     =     =     =     =     =     =     =     =     =     =

Don_1 handily wins this Punning Award: a round-trip, all-expenses-paid Gladiator's Special Punning Tour of the Roman Empire! Sponsored by Jules Verne Aviation, LLC and First Class seating accomodations with Epsilon Airlines (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB83B5D01-04B1-4513-A2DE-152531307F56-623-0000005DF456EC24.jpg&hash=0531f87da2378ce0c51f6cafce2424ec)

You will stay at the luxurious Mabor Hotel (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F50562AA7-1DD6-4E3A-BABD-C66A14B7C98E-623-00000061C9299F7D.jpg&hash=47c7b331c1c9c67df31febf85c0dbca0)

Don't forget to BYOTGAOP (Bring Your Own Toga, Grapes and Orgy Partners).

BYOTGAOP Budgetary issue: see Awards Committee

=     =     =     =     =     =     =     =     =     =     =

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F6804960D-0C16-4B68-A1D7-0C9FFF1B76B2-253-00000014A1CE0BDD.jpg&hash=2ba1cf1e81e648b4028ce5358bb4f20c)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/05/2013 20:44:19

Ian then said he would take me to the Vespas, saying, "There're not far, in fact they are quite nero."

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2F5DC83E-3310-48F1-A08E-830CB4504D4D-317-0000001E632E9B17.jpg&hash=58665167220634815832f6c465ebbdbd)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/05/2013 06:36:14
Here endeth the puns for now, but I shall be roman around looking for more.

The ancient Romans only gathered once a week, because that was enough forum.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/05/2013 21:08:34
A couple of thousand years ago an ancestor of Anne (also named Ann) had the same problem with her scales, she just couldn't 'La' quite right. Ignatius was a well known vocal coach who gave her some training, but it seems to no availe.

One day she was caught making an awful noise as she practiced her scales before performing for the Emperor. "Call Ig, you La terrible." said a disgruntled senator.

Herewith: Ann's "La" captured (simulated) by Hollywood Pet Food Actress, Beyonce II, in this amazing News Flash from The Guardian!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC9641615-8C1A-43A8-AC8A-840AD487AE3F-147-0000000AE2C5829A.jpg&hash=69fc4390293fdf986a7a2d6fe23fbb6b)

Full credit and thanks to Don_1 for circling the "LA" for me!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/05/2013 23:32:43

Full credit and thanks to Don_1 for circling the "LA" for me!


I had always intended on being capable of this and this only. Some say its la ment able.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/05/2013 23:34:30
Here endeth the puns for now, but I shall be roman around looking for more.

The ancient Romans only gathered once a week, because that was enough forum.


I had hoped to see many such meetings, but I have seen at once.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/05/2013 00:13:55

Full credit and thanks to Don_1 for circling the "LA" for me!


I had always intended on being capable of this and this only. Some say its la ment able.

I think that the la was simply ment to be performed by able bodied women with good voice range.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/05/2013 18:41:17
Come on people, get it right!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB26761C2-5B94-4998-A135-F90B2A0803F1-427-0000003C5A8D7A27.jpg&hash=8e142642c920cd53934dbe225b31de62)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/05/2013 19:08:35

Here endeth the puns for now, but I shall be roman around looking for more.

The ancient Romans only gathered once a week, because that was enough forum.


I had hoped to see many such meetings, but I have seen at once.

When Caesar entered the Senate all hail broke loose.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/05/2013 19:35:02
May 13 - May 17, 2013 is:
National Etiquette Week


It is always my custom to eat in the manners pertaining to the local, so it is that when eating apples I always de core 'em first.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F5B4BD144-2EC7-4409-B126-713668DF40C3-427-00000043EF99E1C8.jpg&hash=39ea0f9c34a16da51239e3c9b45e721f)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/05/2013 13:46:20
Today, May 20, 2013, is:
Weights & Measures Day!


Weight loss mantra? Fat chants!

A king measures his line with a ruler.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 27/05/2013 20:33:32
Tut, Tut, why do we always hear about the rul'er?  Why not the rul'im?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/05/2013 19:02:42
It's nice that we both have Tut in khommon.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/05/2013 21:22:47
Tut, Tut, why do we always hear about the rul'er?  Why not the rul'im?


Because the rul'im class doesn't want publicity.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F50755BBB-8DC1-4364-A0A8-20F9566A6F28-368-00000030109E20AC.jpg&hash=1310087d27d4600caeb7d52d11bb1f70)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/05/2013 11:13:57
Ut quicquam paradisi advolare naribus tuis.  

May the Bluebird of Paradise fly up your nose.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F997B6EB8-B2CA-4695-8845-82D662A46589-219-0000000E8D5A7CF6.jpg&hash=258a7338c7e503dc1e1cbeddecb0bd3a)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/05/2013 11:24:50
At Roman games, cannibalism was sometimes witnessed. After consuming a young christian virgin the diner said he was glad he ate her.

But he was still hungry, so he had some nice Roman cheese for dessert!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFAC2F947-9ECD-4AFE-A7C3-115ED89384EB-219-0000001208F2E015.jpg&hash=80be0132010d6d368cb2f271f8eb1630)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 30/05/2013 05:39:13
At Roman games, cannibalism was sometimes witnessed. After consuming a young christian virgin the diner said he was glad he ate her.

Are you lion?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/05/2013 14:50:37
At Roman games, cannibalism was sometimes witnessed. After consuming a young christian virgin the diner said he was glad he ate her.

Are you lion?

You can't trust a tiger. You never know when HE might be lion.



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 31/05/2013 01:46:59
Yes, he might have a hidden claws in his coliseum contract.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 31/05/2013 02:37:49
Just paws for a sec and consider the mane point. More pride should be taken in roar talont.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 31/05/2013 02:39:47
When the film festival buff was recommended a movie by his friend he retorted "at Carn I've oready seen it!"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/06/2013 22:28:55
When the film festival buff was recommended a movie by his friend he retorted "at Carn [sic] I've already seen it!"

Don't worry, things Cannes only get better.



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/06/2013 22:31:19
..."at Carn I've oready seen it!"

African carnivores mainly eat fast food.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/06/2013 22:41:37

Yes, he might have a hidden claws in his coliseum contract.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F70DFF3F2-EC9E-40F3-BE03-92252C37C704-453-000000224075DE58.jpg&hash=fc5834ffdf24089e6c37d266207bdca1)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F51358047-8A27-4A03-9440-53DD423D5BBB-453-000000225F79619C.jpg&hash=25170395ae41d0018e4b278168e64861)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F97C23671-FEE8-40A2-AFB3-7EE69DCFA681-453-00000023FE644879.jpg&hash=bd5de31f49f74fc52fe9ec82011e83c6)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/06/2013 23:35:44
Just paws for a sec and consider the mane point. More pride should be taken in roar talont.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FF8C5363B-F231-4AA9-8E3F-FD1308CC2111-250-000000183FD5D61C-1.jpg&hash=38758fecb751621f72008fa45117eaee)

Siberian tigers show off roar talent in football.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFD122489-C1FC-4CA8-A0CD-46C865C6877B-250-000000187D8D72A8.jpg&hash=e35626beb06a69be7f7a59f4733c5c10)

Roar talent@LionessOfficial on Twitter


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/06/2013 08:24:03
..."at Carn I've oready seen it!"

African carnivores mainly eat fast food.


Odd, I thought carnivores ate road kill. But I won't be truckulent about it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/06/2013 08:48:41
To avoid becoming another road kill statistic, wild animals must dodge the traffic.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/06/2013 09:05:09
Contrary to popular belief, the motor vehicle was concieved in the early days of the Vatican City.
I cite this in support of my claim:-
Jesus want's me for a sunbeam, all pine for me.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbringatrailer.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F01%2F1966_Sunbeam_Alpine_Tiger_V8_Conversion_Roadster_For_Sale_Front_1.jpg&hash=37c512e6694e688ebfd58adce5caff08)
Sunbeam Alpine.

It was in 15th c England that the conception came to fruition.
In support of this claim I cite Cardinal Wolsey
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fa%2Fa4%2FWolsey.jpg&hash=8327cfdcb78a53e839f65042602ab222)
Cardinal Wolsey

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2F3%2F37%2FWolseley_16-60_front.jpg%2F280px-Wolseley_16-60_front.jpg&hash=5f878dbc80ba38a5e290ffa000e7bd3e)
Cardinal Wolseley 15/60
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/06/2013 09:11:07
Edward had sold me a right lemon, so I took it back to him and said "Ed, sell me another."

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fa%2Faa%2F1958_Corsair_Daten.jpg%2F280px-1958_Corsair_Daten.jpg&hash=c910ebd111a7e7cc7e7c34ae6aaf7561)
Edsel - what a lemon!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/06/2013 14:22:25
..."at Carn I've oready seen it!"

African carnivores mainly eat fast food.


Odd, I thought carnivores ate road kill. But I won't be truckulent about it.
To avoid becoming another road kill statistic, wild animals must dodge the traffic.
Contrary to popular belief, the motor vehicle was concieved in the early days of the Vatican City.
I cite this in support of my claim:-
Jesus want's me for a sunbeam, all pine for me.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbringatrailer.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F01%2F1966_Sunbeam_Alpine_Tiger_V8_Conversion_Roadster_For_Sale_Front_1.jpg&hash=37c512e6694e688ebfd58adce5caff08)
Sunbeam Alpine.

It was in 15th c England that the conception came to fruition.
In support of this claim I cite Cardinal Wolsey
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fa%2Fa4%2FWolsey.jpg&hash=8327cfdcb78a53e839f65042602ab222)
Cardinal Wolsey
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2F3%2F37%2FWolseley_16-60_front.jpg%2F280px-Wolseley_16-60_front.jpg&hash=5f878dbc80ba38a5e290ffa000e7bd3e)
Cardinal Wolseley 15/60
Edward had sold me a right lemon, so I took it back to him and said "Ed, sell me another."

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fa%2Faa%2F1958_Corsair_Daten.jpg%2F280px-1958_Corsair_Daten.jpg&hash=c910ebd111a7e7cc7e7c34ae6aaf7561)
Edsel - what a lemon!
..."at Carn I've oready seen it!"

African carnivores mainly eat fast food.


Odd, I thought carnivores ate road kill. But I won't be truckulent about it.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F85A0CA0E-A5CD-4196-9A36-BCC3EAF32B9C-131-00000002EDB36C84.jpg&hash=ab903da0df4e2612875b72ff632bbc6e)

Very funny, Don_1! [:)]








Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/06/2013 20:08:36
Besides, you are a thoughtful and caring man.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/06/2013 21:42:44
Contrary to popular belief, the motor vehicle was concieved in the early days of the Vatican City.

I cite this in support of my claim:-
Jesus want's me for a sunbeam, all pine for me.

It was in 15th c England that the conception came to fruition.
In support of this claim I cite Cardinal Wolsey


So THAT's how this company started!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FD9DCEB3C-D03E-4168-9963-C3D306F599B2-131-00000052B964C071.jpg&hash=03f471af65aacd449af485962bc47354)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/06/2013 11:43:08
It now seems that trucks were around before cars. The first, around 2000 yrs ago, was the idea of a bunch of lads who followed a gang leader by the name of Jesus, causing trouble in the Roman colony of Palestine. Though they all had a hand in the design, Peter bilt it. It was painted white, but had no glass, so the driver had to wear a mack. Perhaps they weren't so daft as we thought. With no glass to get dirty, it was easy to scania the road ahead. At the launch of this vehicle, man sized volvo vants and artic rolls were served. But it was not a good seller because few could afford to buy one. Ken, worth a lot of money, was one of the few, as was Dennis, though being a big man, he found it did not give him much elbow room.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/06/2013 11:49:10
"Sic transit gloria mundi", as those Romans used to say.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/06/2013 12:04:19
Speaking of Gloria, I'm sure you are all wondering when the next bit of eye candy will be coming along. Well, wonder and wait no more..... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYGQskpYBKU (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYGQskpYBKU)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/06/2013 16:32:54
Speaking of Gloria, I'm sure you are all wondering when the next bit of eye candy will be coming along. Well, wonder and wait no more..... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYGQskpYBKU (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYGQskpYBKU)

Oh, Don_1, come on, people are just not that patient! You must at least give people a teaser -- a sneak preview -- before they click on YouTube!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F24.media.tumblr.com%2Ftumblr_lwf9n4y7Fx1r4ya7po1_1324249854_cover.jpg&hash=307e3cbb85deb88159cc4eed8d87336f)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1.ytimg.com%2Fvi%2F8KDdDMR0VxM%2Fhqdefault.jpg&hash=fdf672c95bded4dac781def099166756)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/06/2013 18:24:15
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1.ytimg.com%2Fvi%2F8KDdDMR0VxM%2Fhqdefault.jpg&hash=fdf672c95bded4dac781def099166756)


Stone the crows! I don't remember Ginger Rogers like this in 'Singing in the Rain'. No doubt Fred Astair must have felt quite elevated at this site.

You may now escalate or otherwise lift this post to a new level.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/06/2013 20:23:16

Stone the crows! I don't remember Ginger Rogers like this (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1.ytimg.com%2Fvi%2F8KDdDMR0VxM%2Fhqdefault.jpg&hash=fdf672c95bded4dac781def099166756) in 'Singing in the Rain'. No doubt Fred Astaire must have felt quite elevated at this site.


(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/2749379072/hF1A6741F/)

We must update Ginger Rogers Singing' graphics!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/06/2013 23:15:54
........ must have felt quite elevated at this site. XXXXXXXXXXXXX Score F minus.

Well, I feel ashamed. Look at that spelling.

I shall send myself to the bottom of the class. Write one hundred lines of:
"I cite my poor spelling of the notice outside the building site as a sight for sore eyes."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/06/2013 00:12:05
........ must have felt quite elevated at this site. XXXXXXXXXXXXX Score F minus.

Well, I feel ashamed. Look at that spelling.

I shall send myself to the bottom of the class. Write one hundred lines of:
"I cite my poor spelling of the notice outside the building site as a [edit] sight site for sore eyes."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/06/2013 00:57:00
Starts In Only 2 more days!
June 9-16 (Week That has the 12th In It), is:
National Automotive Service Professionals Week

Only 2 more days!! Are we prepared with any CAR puns????
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/06/2013 01:03:29
Starts In Only 2 more days!
June 9-16 (Week That has the 12th In It), is:
National Automotive Service Professionals Week

Only 2 more days!! Are we prepared with any CAR puns????

I shall put my thinking cap on and try not to blow a gasket working out a few. I am sure we will all triumph in the big end.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/06/2013 01:14:05

Thank Card! I KNEW you'd come through, Don_1.

Whew. Just in timer, too.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/06/2013 02:03:19
"Sic transit gloria mundi", as those Romans used to say.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F_BnGsyb4rTpI%2FTNVfRhDtXhI%2FAAAAAAAAAsc%2FY9tyFsulTLs%2FS748%2Fsecuredownload.jpg&hash=7f49bf91003fcbf0ed2e973bbe05e308)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/06/2013 03:33:53
Contrary to popular belief, the motor vehicle was concieved in the early days of the Vatican City.

I cite this in support of my claim:-
Jesus want's me for a sunbeam, all pine for me.


Of course! NOW I understand why this icon is in almost every church window in Detroit!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.trincoll.edu%2Fdepts%2Fcsrpl%2Fimages%2FJesus.jpg&hash=ab930c95ca0b33dedbd986b7e0b9ad30)

And I bet the Japanese carmakers paid Him a fortune to endorse Honda Accord (does it drive on water? Will it make cans of motor oil appear magically whenever needed? If the car dies, will it be resurrected at Easter???) Inquiring minds wanna know.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FACF6D59F-1000-4183-BBF6-B3EFB1B27EF5-483-0000003D6F8FC5AA.jpg&hash=8c143416b362e35bdd374b8eba29a475)






Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/06/2013 21:58:56
I saw a burning moggy trying to put the flames out with its tongue eventually turn into a dog!

It was a cat alit lick converter.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/06/2013 22:05:15

Of course! NOW I understand why this icon is in almost every church window in Detroit!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.trincoll.edu%2Fdepts%2Fcsrpl%2Fimages%2FJesus.jpg&hash=ab930c95ca0b33dedbd986b7e0b9ad30)



I think this is a load of poo, manure, crap, turds, detroitus.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/06/2013 22:20:45

And I bet the Japanese carmakers paid Him a fortune to endorse Honda Accord (does it drive on water? Will it make cans of motor oil appear magically whenever needed? If the car dies, will it be resurrected at Easter???) Inquiring minds wanna know.



Guess what I saw hon da way to church today.


...does it drive on water?


Of course it does. (I am fib ian, of course)


Will it make cans of motor oil appear magically whenever needed?


Better than that: It turns them into saké.


If the car dies, will it be resurrected at Easter???



According to popular belief, yes, but if so I shall be most Impreza.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/06/2013 22:34:04
I bought my wife a Jaguar the other day, it ripped her pieces.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/06/2013 22:36:31

Of course! NOW I understand why this icon is in almost every church window in Detroit!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.trincoll.edu%2Fdepts%2Fcsrpl%2Fimages%2FJesus.jpg&hash=ab930c95ca0b33dedbd986b7e0b9ad30)



I think this is a load of poo, manure, crap, turds, detroitus.

Perhaps. But meanwhile, John Deere's manure spreader is the only equipment the company won't stand behind.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/06/2013 22:48:11
I bought my wife a Jaguar the other day, it ripped her pieces.

I would do as Donnah always suggests: check for Contract Claws.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/06/2013 23:00:29

Will it make cans of motor oil appear magically whenever needed?


Better than that: It turns them into saké.


That's right! As He often was quoted, "Oil be your spirit, in flesh (bread) and blood (fer gawd's saké)"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/06/2013 23:08:22
...does it drive on water?
Of course it does. (I am fib ian, of course)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffunnyasduck.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F10%2Ffunny-walk-water-jesus-car-pics.jpg&hash=c772769a8d134c22e2991e8562d4c87b)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/06/2013 18:49:55
 [ Invalid Attachment ] [attachment=post_tmp_8668_0][/attachment]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/06/2013 18:52:35
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffp.images.autos.msn.com%2FMedia%2F580x348%2F47%2F471c7afaa2664fb8974ceb893a65f73e.jpg&hash=9cc543f768fbd8ad685821a854c8db62)

When I said 'fill her up', this wasn't quite what I had in mind.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/06/2013 18:56:13
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.ubergizmo.com%2Fphotos%2F2010%2F7%2Fpersonal-sub.jpg&hash=64fc6bd4cfef452f2a242d9f71fc341c)

Now that's what I call a bubble car.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/06/2013 19:06:25
 [ Invalid Attachment ] [attachment=post_tmp_8668_0][/attachment]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/06/2013 20:15:58
 [ Invalid Attachment ] [attachment=post_tmp_8668_0][/attachment]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/06/2013 23:08:25
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F85A0CA0E-A5CD-4196-9A36-BCC3EAF32B9C-131-00000002EDB36C84.jpg&hash=ab903da0df4e2612875b72ff632bbc6e)
Go, Don_1!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/06/2013 12:05:34
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.ubergizmo.com%2Fphotos%2F2010%2F7%2Fpersonal-sub.jpg&hash=64fc6bd4cfef452f2a242d9f71fc341c)

Now that's what I call a bubble car.

Once, when I worked in the gum factory,  I fell in a vat of bubblegum.

My boss had to chew me out.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/06/2013 12:13:56
[ Invalid Attachment ] [attachment=post_tmp_8668_0,msg412956][/attachment]

I would prefer a less in-depth car wash, personally. Even one as bad as this:

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F3589139E-BD8E-42B2-B3FB-163AEC1341B5-302-00000070256DD072.jpg&hash=abf4801c18e4200aadd1abdd7c5bdc67)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/06/2013 12:33:46
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffp.images.autos.msn.com%2FMedia%2F580x348%2F47%2F471c7afaa2664fb8974ceb893a65f73e.jpg&hash=9cc543f768fbd8ad685821a854c8db62)

When I said 'fill her up', this wasn't quite what I had in mind.

I personally prefer more modern methods to "fill her up", including an accurate meter that shows exactly how much gas you purchase @ 22 and 1/2 cents per gallon!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFA361DE8-9FBD-42E1-9921-60465A8D467B-302-00000076B35C14D8.jpg&hash=3575f4d9c1ef34e557009847b9310e4a)


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FF46E16A8-CF4F-4DE7-932B-EDB74E0E1EA0-302-000000795D549CE7.jpg&hash=cb3f405ebc667f1122bcb526cf6a9ca1)

If I had Don_1's graphic skills, I would circle "Fill 'er up!"


edit: "her" or "er" in the phrase "Fill her up" refers to the car.

NOT the woman!



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/06/2013 01:23:47

... detroitus.
[;D]


Detroit made us what we car today.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/06/2013 03:07:58
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FACF6D59F-1000-4183-BBF6-B3EFB1B27EF5-483-0000003D6F8FC5AA.jpg&hash=8c143416b362e35bdd374b8eba29a475)

Why is he looking upward? Do you think his father bought him the car? Or did he just co-sign the loan papers?





Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/06/2013 05:42:08
[ Invalid Attachment ] [attachment=post_tmp_8668_0,msg412953][/attachment]

40 years of Nagging Excellence awarded!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F3423F555-D9D8-4A8A-B4DC-2E7C39CD0777-1293-000000890858F201.jpg&hash=380848a1d5b1ee1ef60934becd5d1f51)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/06/2013 12:11:25
This coming Saturday, June 15, 2013, is:
Queen's [UK] Official Birthday

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FDB4EC779-4CD0-4F85-9AF6-BFBBA2E3AFF1-456-000000383B0528A6.jpg&hash=0cce35cea192a9cd2cff63157b4bc14d)

The queen's favourite chef was knighted Sir Loin.

Many people stand up for royalty, but the queen sits down for royal tea.




Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/06/2013 12:26:02
June, 2013, is:
International Men's Month

Some random thoughts:

Would men who make draperies be called Curt and Rod?

Most males in a men's room are stand-up guys.

Do garbage men mostly talk trash?

Florence Nightingale had many suitors because men liked to go with the Flo.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/06/2013 16:55:51
Sorry I took a long time to respond to this Demo, I must be one of the men o' pause.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/06/2013 17:01:22
I was about to plant out some seedlings when 'er indoors swiped my dibble.

"Oi!" I exclaimed, "That's mine and women can't use them anyway, bloody cheek."

She retorted, "Since when was this a man dibble?"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/06/2013 17:07:00
The women stood shoulder to shoulder to stop the G8 meeting from taking place, but they were failing until one large strong man joined them. "Oh look," said Anna* "Now we really are a bloke aid."


*Not her again.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/06/2013 17:12:45
A quick witted postal worker, trained in first aid, rushed to the assistance of a pregnant woman who's waters broke while she was in a supermarket. Moments later, the postal worker gave the mother her new born baby boy.

Headline reads:

Postal worker delivers male.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/06/2013 06:34:47
Postal worker delivers male.

A slow postal worker would thus deliver male men o' pause.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/06/2013 06:50:58
Sorry I took a long time to respond to this Demo, I must be one of the men o' pause.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F3C3EBD37-3F87-4FFF-BA63-C6D70C179E28-1135-00000071D61BCA6A.jpg&hash=3d84ce5eca6b4af8f82e8fbcce9c6d2f)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/06/2013 13:39:12
I was about to plant out some seedlings when 'er indoors swiped my dibble.

"Oi!" I exclaimed, "That's mine and women can't use them anyway, bloody cheek."

She retorted, "Since when was this a man dibble?"


MANDIBLE:“ to be assigned to work at the mechanical bull in a bar ”
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/06/2013 14:02:44
The women stood shoulder to shoulder to stop the G8 meeting from taking place, but they were failing until one large strong man joined them. "Oh look," said Anna* "Now we really are a bloke aid."


*Not her again.

Sadly, my quest for oranges was fruitless.

Why are oranges in short supply?

I believe there’s a navel blockade.

You mean a naval blockade, don’t you?

No, they’re blockading navel oranges on the highways, not on the waterways, so it’s not a naval navel blockade.




from http://blogs.reuters.com/oddly-enough/tag/puns/page/5/




Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/06/2013 17:32:28
Oranges with belly button's are called navel oranges. Lemons which help them are called lemon aide's.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/06/2013 17:40:23

The queen's favourite chef was knighted Sir Loin.


Not so daft as it sounds..... Arise Sir Loin of Beef (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/lancashire/4451935.stm).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/06/2013 17:44:48

40 years of Nagging Excellence awarded!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F3423F555-D9D8-4A8A-B4DC-2E7C39CD0777-1293-000000890858F201.jpg&hash=380848a1d5b1ee1ef60934becd5d1f51)


I have been happily married for 2 years, the other 23 have been shear purgatory.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/06/2013 19:20:15
I have been happily married for 2 years, the other 23 have been shear purgatory.

Perhaps you've become a Purgatory Cat! Do you inexplicably yearn for a bowl of Friskies from time to time? Hmmmm?

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F496C4E50-8674-44D3-BE3A-DD12589CBF64-115-00000000C5F2CC3B.jpg&hash=fb8715892cc5f6b756cddf6a2980ebd1)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/06/2013 21:06:53
I have been happily married for 2 years, the other 23 have been shear purgatory.

Herewith, a Scientific Schematic of Purgatory!
                       (including Marriage)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F4CEC673F-357A-4FD6-8A03-CDA03EB20DC8-115-000000174D524232.jpg&hash=d5525c48267da333f04dc4c4aca91cdc)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/06/2013 21:12:09

Oranges with belly button's are called navel oranges. Lemons which help them are called lemon aide's.

The naval orange is on your right.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.wikia.com%2Fannoyingorange%2Fimages%2Fd%2Fd1%2FAO_Naval_Orange_screen.png&hash=eaec4267eef89d77d757f0b893b823e5)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/06/2013 16:01:42
That looks a little like a blueberry werewolf pirate and a rather menacing nearly vampire orange. Must be a BLOOD ORANGE.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/06/2013 16:14:55
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.wikia.com%2Fannoyingorange%2Fimages%2Fd%2Fd1%2FAO_Naval_Orange_screen.png&hash=eaec4267eef89d77d757f0b893b823e5)
That looks a little like a blueberry werewolf pirate and a rather menacing nearly vampire orange. Must be a BLOOD ORANGE.

Don_1, please citrus self down and remember -- similar to beginner Anne's "la"s -- that novice pirates like this make terrible singers because they can't hit the high seas.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/06/2013 16:21:45
I have been happily married for 2 years, the other 23 have been shear purgatory.

Herewith, a Scientific Schematic of Purgatory!
                       (including Marriage)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F4CEC673F-357A-4FD6-8A03-CDA03EB20DC8-115-000000174D524232.jpg&hash=d5525c48267da333f04dc4c4aca91cdc)

That reminds me of something......... What was it now?

 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/06/2013 16:24:33
That looks a little like a blueberry werewolf pirate and a rather menacing nearly vampire orange. Must be a BLOOD ORANGE.

Don_1, please citrus self down and remember -- similar to beginner Anne's "la"s -- that novice pirates like this make terrible singers because they can't hit the high seas.



It seems there has been a problem, Anna needs a new 'G' string.



I'll say no more.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/06/2013 16:28:00
As I drank my cuppa, the neighbour came running in "An army officer has been run down by a road roller, come, C flat major."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/06/2013 16:42:32
The choir of pigeons stood at the ready waiting for the conductor to pick up his baton, more commonly known as a coo stick.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/06/2013 21:36:14
Anna needs a new 'G' string.
...C flat major."
...a coo stick.

Do I sense Don_1's longing for an acoustic guitar? Or another acoustic instrument?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/06/2013 21:54:59
Tomorrow, June 26, 2013, is:
National Canoe Day

I Can't Think Of Any Boat Puns............. Canoe...?

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftiwibzone.tiwib.netdna-cdn.com%2Fimages%2Fcrystal-clear-canoe.jpg&hash=2c17a44a656993340be5160a5b5fbbe9)

Anna in her crystal clear canoe
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/06/2013 23:59:03
Anna needs a new 'G' string.
...C flat major."
...a coo stick.

Do I sense Don_1's longing for an acoustic guitar? Or another acoustic instrument?

Ah coo stick to your original idea.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/06/2013 00:03:37
Tomorrow, June 26, 2013, is:
National Canoe Day

I Can't Think Of Any Boat Puns............. Canoe...?

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftiwibzone.tiwib.netdna-cdn.com%2Fimages%2Fcrystal-clear-canoe.jpg&hash=2c17a44a656993340be5160a5b5fbbe9)

Anna in her crystal clear canoe

Yes I can think of quite a yacht of them, but I'll only impart some of them to you if you give me a piece of kayak, fruit & nut kayak might be fitting. I do like a piece of kayak at Launch time.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/06/2013 09:53:00
Anna needs a new 'G' string.
...C flat major."
...a coo stick.

Do I sense Don_1's longing for an acoustic guitar? Or another acoustic instrument?

Ah coo... stick to your original idea.

Gesundheit!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/06/2013 10:01:48
Tomorrow, June 26, 2013, is:
National Canoe Day

I Can't Think Of Any Boat Puns............. Canoe...?

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftiwibzone.tiwib.netdna-cdn.com%2Fimages%2Fcrystal-clear-canoe.jpg&hash=2c17a44a656993340be5160a5b5fbbe9)

Anna in her crystal clear canoe

Yes I can think of quite a yacht of them, but I'll only impart some of them to you if you give me a piece of kayak, fruit & nut kayak might be fitting. I do like a piece of kayak at launch time.

Where can you buy that kayak?

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FCF8128D3-5ACC-434E-BAAC-8F84A2EFB094-263-00000013A55A3974.jpg&hash=ceb7bff362e1bdbd897834800de21872)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/06/2013 11:07:44
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.



From http://paytonlacivita.wordpress.com/2011/01/31/no-pun-intended-26-great-puns-these-are-some-amazing-puns-i-know-but-i-like-bad-jokes/
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/06/2013 11:13:23
Anna needs a new 'G' string.
...C flat major."
...a coo stick.

Do I sense Don_1's longing for an acoustic guitar? Or another acoustic instrument?

Ah coo... stick to your original idea.

Gesundheit!

Grassyarse or Lawnybum

Everybody sing.........

For sneeze a jolly good fellow, for sneeze a jolly good fellow.......
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/06/2013 11:46:09


Where can you buy that kayak?

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FCF8128D3-5ACC-434E-BAAC-8F84A2EFB094-263-00000013A55A3974.jpg&hash=ceb7bff362e1bdbd897834800de21872)

You can have that kayak, I want this one:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.cakecentral.com%2Fd%2Fd6%2Fd6d4564d_modulescopperminealbumsuserpics590063DSC00394.jpeg&hash=100d6a84cf153b3e25d7219e938899e2)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/06/2013 15:33:36
Don_1, getting rid of that boat for another could cause a whole raft of problems.

For example, a leak in the back of your boat could be a stern warning.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/06/2013 15:41:02
I Can't Think Of Any Boat Puns.

Anna was arrested for throwing bombs from a boat, but they dropped the charges.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/06/2013 16:47:32
Anna was working in the tavern outside the naval base. Asked what flowers should be planted in the garden she said, "Azaleas of course." Just then a burly old sea dog roughly put his hand on her thigh. She tipped a bucket of sloops over his head and screamed, "U-boat men are all the same.

If I were a copper and was set the task of an investigation, I would say to the suspect, "I scharnhorst* around on this job."


(*For the benefit of those younger readers: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_battleship_Scharnhorst (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/German_battleship_Scharnhorst))
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/06/2013 16:49:06
I Can't Think Of Any Boat Puns.

Anna was arrested for throwing bombs from a boat, but they dropped the charges.




That's the trouble with the modern police force, they just don't go into depth anymore. Is it because they are lazy oar just don't care?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/06/2013 17:03:46
Hmmmmm...... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.infojustice.com%2Fsmiley%2520scratch-head.gif&hash=5dd88dd74fab8d9ffc033dca4c6e7357)

 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/06/2013 17:19:20
Yes, as a RN police officer, I would be tough on any Hood*.


(*For the benefit of any younger readers: Oh to hell with it, look it up for yourself, google HMS Hood)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/06/2013 17:22:15
Was I a tad harsh then? have I delved into tir pitz of ignorance?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/06/2013 17:27:31
Perhaps one of the Royal Family would care to add something to this punning episode.

I say, prinz, Eu gen join in if you wish.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/06/2013 17:29:38
Now, just one more post in an effort to get 10/10 from Demo. I want the very bizt marck I can get.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/06/2013 17:36:50
I'll try to put these puns on to a graf speedily, if I can.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/06/2013 18:10:00
Well, I think I've managed a pun on the names of all the most famous German battleships of WWII and a RN battleship thrown in for good measure.

I don't think I'll try it with Japanese battleships, it might prove a tad difficult and besides, I'll annoy (http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2012-04-13/news/chi-uss-llinois-submarine-u.s.-navy_1_submarine-virginia-class-illinois-connection) the US Navy.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/06/2013 23:16:22
I Can't Think Of Any Boat Puns............. Canoe...?

Yes I can think of quite a yacht of them...


Here's quite a yacht of them:

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC2096236-9127-4C2A-A163-E13861FC4924-1142-0000005CF117CE27.jpg&hash=fad97c8e40f6824d50e8787156304fda)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/06/2013 23:24:31
...I'll annoy the US Navy.

But don't be like the annoying dermatologist who always gets under your skin.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/06/2013 00:49:43
AAAHuuUUH GUhGuhGuhGuh
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Furbantitan.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F04%2Fpopeye.jpg&hash=d7b876ad3aaaa12cd336d491183bc475)

 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/06/2013 00:52:17
...I'll annoy the US Navy.

But don't be like the annoying dermatologist who always gets under your skin.



I find the oral hygienist a bit of a mouthful.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 27/06/2013 04:35:48
Anna needs a new 'G' string.
...C flat major."
...a coo stick.

Do I sense Don_1's longing for an acoustic guitar? Or another acoustic instrument?

Ah coo stick to your original idea.

There was a problem at the guitar factory. Someone accidentally mixed sodium hydroxide in with the varnish. They ended up with a caustic guitar.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/06/2013 06:35:34
...I'll annoy the US Navy.

But don't be like the annoying dermatologist who always gets under your skin.



I find the oral hygienist a bit of a mouthful.

I find the proctologist to be...[fill in the blanks]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/06/2013 10:12:23
...I'll annoy the US Navy.

But don't be like the annoying dermatologist who always gets under your skin.



I find the oral hygienist a bit of a mouthful.

I find the proctologist to be...[fill in the blanks]


..... a bit of a bummer?

..... rather cheeky?

..... a sticky customer (ie glueteus maximus)

..... a silly ass

..... the type of people you don't want to shake hands with

..... forever bringing up the rear

..... the worst guest at a dinner party
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/06/2013 10:18:14
In my capacity as an events logistics contractor, I recently covered the annual conference of the College of Optometrists. That was an eye openner.

And just last week I covered the annual bash of the College of Occupational Therapists, but I can't think of a suitable pun for that job. I need help.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/06/2013 10:21:25
There was a problem at the guitar factory. Someone accidentally mixed sodium hydroxide in with the varnish. They ended up with a caustic guitar.

Hehehe.... I wish aye cid that.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/06/2013 10:26:47
At the cattle market a farmer was looking for something a little different to give him the edge over his dairy competetors.

One seller had a dozen Oxen on offer. After some negociation, the farmer declared "Per ox I'd pay £1000."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/06/2013 10:33:51
The raptor had made a good kill. Sitting on a high perch, with his claw ate the prey.
 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/06/2013 10:52:31
The pet shop had the names of all the animals he had for sale, Rover, Gnasher, Spot and Chalky made up the dog list, while Smokie, Tabby and Panda made up the cat a list.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/06/2013 10:56:42
Speaking of a catalyst, man, ga knees are playing up this morning.


(Heard on CB radio)
ϟϟϟ Pat t' Ella, Pat t' Ella, are you receiving Ella? ϟϟϟ
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/06/2013 20:19:53
...I'll annoy the US Navy.

But don't be like the annoying dermatologist who always gets under your skin.



I find the oral hygienist a bit of a mouthful.

I find the proctologist to be...[fill in the blanks]


..... a bit of a bummer?

..... rather cheeky?

..... a sticky customer (ie glueteus maximus)

..... a silly ass

..... the type of people you don't want to shake hands with

..... forever bringing up the rear

..... the worst guest at a dinner party

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F728971B1-7EA3-45E3-BE9F-4A73FB65E1EE-107-0000006A881E4920.jpg&hash=aed29fc24939ab1e7ad4f89b0b4ca022)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/06/2013 20:26:24
There was a problem at the guitar factory. Someone accidentally mixed sodium hydroxide in with the varnish. They ended up with a caustic guitar.

Hehehe.... I wish aye cid that.

Should we have some Sodium Hydroxide Cake to celebrate the New Caustic Guitar?

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2B96071A-2A27-4039-B335-F47FE0CE19B8-107-0000006CC73E248F.jpg&hash=9da1c08713778c6dda0a36cf52d1e2b3)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/06/2013 20:42:53
In my capacity as an events logistics contractor, I recently covered the annual conference of the College of Optometrists. That was an eye opener.

And just last week I covered the annual bash of the College of Occupational Therapists, but I can't think of a suitable pun for that job. I need help.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F7A54A45C-FC02-4E40-AF79-21029A7A367E-107-0000007129D4B5BA.jpg&hash=d8dc2a5567db83419743cb10dfbc4784)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/06/2013 03:55:17

[the proctologist is...]

..... a bit of a bummer?

..... rather cheeky?

..... a sticky customer (ie glueteus maximus)

..... a silly ass

..... the type of people you don't want to shake hands with

..... forever bringing up the rear

..... the worst guest at a dinner party

But if things go wrong, he'll usually rectify the situation.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/06/2013 09:46:40

But if things go wrong, he'll usually rectify the situation.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sphsupplies.co.uk%2Fproduct_images%2Fv%2F047%2Flong_gl__68168_zoom.jpg&hash=47b1c5545222d626fa9dc15dafb1e666) You keep away from me........ HELP! Let me outa here!!!! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fkathsfunnylittlelife.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Fpanic-smiley.gif&hash=5c008640bd19b471d2ad23f96686fdca)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/06/2013 09:59:48
The vet was so clumsy, he wrecked all the examination gloves.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/06/2013 10:06:10
At least he was honest, when the practice head vet asked who had wrecked 'um, he put his arm up*.



* No, please, just don't go there, it really dosen't bare even contemplating.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/06/2013 12:19:22
The proctologist is...an ass, etc.
But if things go wrong, he'll usually rectify the situation.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sphsupplies.co.uk%2Fproduct_images%2Fv%2F047%2Flong_gl__68168_zoom.jpg&hash=47b1c5545222d626fa9dc15dafb1e666) You keep away from me........ HELP! Let me outa here!!!! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fkathsfunnylittlelife.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Fpanic-smiley.gif&hash=5c008640bd19b471d2ad23f96686fdca)

Don't worry, Don_1, the proctologist finally just now quit his job because it gave him tunnel vision.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/06/2013 14:31:58
I knew he'd crack up eventually.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/06/2013 14:47:28
Of course you know he had been moonlighting as a croupier in a global drug and hygiene conglomerate's private casino where he was known as 'Proctologist & gamble'.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/06/2013 15:04:35
'Proctologist & gamble'
LOL!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0FA696C3-E60B-41CF-8A77-FB6FCC371EE8-541-00000032C90CE339.jpg&hash=09f71f595166c94ba7572b56e853a2db)
               Proctology
Las Vegas, NV Gaming Board???

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/06/2013 15:11:33
His wife is selling off all his old equipment on eBay:

Item #1
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.healthandsafetysupplies.co.uk%2Facatalog%2F272421.gif&hash=48d7703cffbe17265c822cebb49e60a0)
Miners helmet with lamp.

Item #2
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejc.com%2Ffiles%2Fimagecache%2Fbody_portrait%2FGAS-MASK.jpg&hash=d6accab721612c5ac152f631e2540666)
Gas Mask

Item #3
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthumbs1.ebaystatic.com%2Fd%2Fl225%2Fm%2FmaZIYa5LVZ2pFsHljaT1ILg.jpg&hash=ca365f6feaf3b44374adaec59c3eb238)
Tyre Levers

Item #4
 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Canary
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/06/2013 15:23:01
I knew [the proctologist would] crack up eventually.

Was that just a wild ass guess?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/06/2013 15:30:48

Item #4
 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Canary

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F71CE56F2-E766-4897-A50A-62C71EB5520D-541-000000390AD82CD6.jpg&hash=6386827de4f3b9bc664073d0aeb0631e)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/06/2013 15:54:49
 [ Invalid Attachment ] [attachment=post_tmp_8668_0][/attachment]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/06/2013 15:59:38
I knew [the proctologist would] crack up eventually.

Was that just a wild ass guess?

Oh no, it was written in the stars.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/06/2013 17:12:32
I knew [the proctologist would] crack up eventually.

Was that just a wild ass guess?

Oh no, it was written in the stars.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fjoelmp98.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F04%2Fdonald-duck-good-one-laughing-animated.gif&hash=0c77957ad6916746a76208b54e982ca1)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/06/2013 17:15:35
[ Invalid Attachment ] [attachment=post_tmp_8668_0,msg413793][/attachment]

The cat has a code cold?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/06/2013 17:31:03
At the cattle market a farmer was looking for something a little different to give him the edge over his dairy competitors.

When the branding iron was invented cattle were very impressed.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/06/2013 17:40:46
June, 2013, is:
Effective Communications Month

Poor communication...kills!

The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop them a line.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/06/2013 00:37:35
One of the most effective communications I know of can be made with just one finger......................

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-computer001.gif&hash=7dcb263fe729bdf0b70a19821705a7db) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

I type slowly with one finger because I know you don't read too quick.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/06/2013 00:42:59
I knew [the proctologist would] crack up eventually.

Was that just a wild ass guess?

Oh no, it was written in the stars.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fjoelmp98.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F04%2Fdonald-duck-good-one-laughing-animated.gif&hash=0c77957ad6916746a76208b54e982ca1)<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Tight as a ducks _____.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/06/2013 01:29:09
It is said that Alexander G. Bell made the greatest advance in communications when he made the first telephone. Not so; it was the person who made the second telephone who was really on the ball.

 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 29/06/2013 03:19:14
Wheel keep that in mind.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/06/2013 10:30:42
I knew [the proctologist would] crack up eventually.

Was that just a wild ass guess?

Oh no, it was written in the stars.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fjoelmp98.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F04%2Fdonald-duck-good-one-laughing-animated.gif&hash=0c77957ad6916746a76208b54e982ca1)<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< Tight as a duck's _____

In my teens, a "DA" (for duck's ass) hairstyle was extremely popular:

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA6F13FF4-9311-4B14-8417-86A9FF5905C7-541-000000B9794B403B.jpg&hash=cb670deb793e71ec1b8d11f3a4ed657b)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/06/2013 10:37:31
Wheel keep that in mind.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FF9399DEF-1CCC-4A64-AF09-88846AF6B45D-541-000000BD20FA034E.jpg&hash=1ee4579f8650cacf03c6b7f5965cd19d)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/06/2013 10:48:41
It is said that Alexander G. Bell made the greatest advance in communications when he made the first telephone. Not so; it was the person who made the second telephone who was really on the ball.

 [ Invalid Attachment ]

Wat's on your mind?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 29/06/2013 20:56:55
I'll never tele.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/06/2013 05:50:49
We have ways of making you tele. We know where you post.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 30/06/2013 18:53:10
Switched from English to Western riding.  No posting here.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/06/2013 21:07:05
Switched from English to Western riding.  No posting here.

I've planted part of a riding whip. I'm hoping for a nice crop.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/07/2013 15:24:52

Item #3
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthumbs1.ebaystatic.com%2Fd%2Fl225%2Fm%2FmaZIYa5LVZ2pFsHljaT1ILg.jpg&hash=ca365f6feaf3b44374adaec59c3eb238)
Tyre Levers

I'm afraid to ask: what are your Tyre Levers for??

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 05/07/2013 22:14:53
That's en-tyre-ly up to Don_1.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 07/07/2013 23:31:49
You'd better tread carefully, you don't want to sound too flat.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 08/07/2013 00:38:11
I'll spare the sarcasm; wouldn't want to rubber the wrong way Jack.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/07/2013 01:34:03
This doesn't tire me at all. Please continue.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 16/07/2013 22:51:21
I'm not a squealer.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/07/2013 02:14:49
I hope this doesn't come to a screeching halt!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 18/07/2013 01:44:01
We seem to be at a crossroad.  Time for a brake.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/07/2013 01:40:57
You're right. You're no squealer, so it's not right to just go race ahead.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/07/2013 15:33:09
I see this tyre pun has become inflated. I shall need to beware of re-treading your steps, because that wheely wont do.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/07/2013 15:36:44
Would someone be so good as to tell me which is the hub pun? I'll need to know if I am to get a grip of the situation
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/07/2013 13:10:16

Damned if I know, Don_1. See how lost and disorganized and fragmented and scattered and frightened and isolated we are without you? [;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/07/2013 13:16:23
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FCC69302E-D0F2-41AD-95F7-53E4ABE566CE-950-000000756F89E119.jpg&hash=7e7873c8f41f7f58749b1e98095a5e6a)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/07/2013 18:30:59

Damned if I know, Don_1. See how lost and disorganized and fragmented and scattered and frightened and isolated we are without you? [;D]

Oh come come now, you flatter me. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-ashamed005.gif&hash=1c79a278bedf7ec624b32be088286225) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

Or should that read, 'you fatter me'? Not that I'm a pig, or anything like that (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-eatdrink011.gif&hash=79b4afde64a02c8522b6aa92bcbed6fe) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/07/2013 18:36:27
Is a phlebotomist a proctologist who is obsessed by infestations of Pulex irritans?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/07/2013 18:42:20
My uncle suffers from Hay Fever rather badly because he was always too late taking his pills. I told my aunty his timing is just no good at all.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/07/2013 19:05:48
My uncle suffers from Hay Fever rather badly because he was always too late taking his pills. I told my aunty his timing is just no good at all.

Yes, very true. Allergy sufferers are itching to get through the hay fever season.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 29/07/2013 04:22:54
My GP told my wife and I about a new hayfever trial. I told him "Sign us up!"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/07/2013 16:40:17
Sinus problems blow.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/07/2013 16:56:26
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0DA3E974-2A7C-4032-A0D9-944F186CC4C3-342-000000255C50FC98.jpg&hash=c3d22152a7f63acc418011ff54ddfa09)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/07/2013 15:37:53
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0DA3E974-2A7C-4032-A0D9-944F186CC4C3-342-000000255C50FC98.jpg&hash=c3d22152a7f63acc418011ff54ddfa09)

I'm sure I nose that fella.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/07/2013 16:04:29
Taking lunch with an associate of mine in France a while ago, I said to him I had a need to point Percy at the porcelain, water the Pyjama Python, take a leak (whatever you want to call it), before the sweet was served. As he is fluent in French, I followed his instruction; beckoning the waiter, I asked him 'Where is the lavvy?' The waiter looked at me questioningly, as did my associate.

"Lavvy Monsieur?" The waiter enquired.

"Lavvy?" My associate echoed.

"Well, you told me to 'say lavvy'," I retorted.

My associate, dumbfounded, explained, "I commented, in the French colloquialism, 'Such is life', not 'say lavvy'."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/07/2013 16:10:53
Noses run in our family.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/07/2013 03:15:11

Noses run in our family.

The charges of the otolaryngologist were exorbitant, I had to pay through the nose!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 01/08/2013 04:45:33
I knew a man who was good at smelling, but he had nose sense.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/08/2013 21:29:05
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FF340E908-CAC7-43D5-ADD5-2CC42C3FB2E8-709-0000007660D910B5.jpg&hash=a93cb52031bb4a9f008d2e9e9ec74c48)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/08/2013 11:39:20
Its nowt to do with me.

Nosetradamus predicted sinus problems would lead to tsunamis.

Breaker 19: He predicted a wave of catastrophies.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/08/2013 19:04:50

Nosetradamus predicted sinus problems would lead to tsunamis.


Breaker 19: He predicted a wave of catastrophes.


Nah. I think all of his waves were just swell.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.netanimations.net%2Fsurf-love-water-animated.gif&hash=8c39e680a92036b217eb033626a0a98e)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/08/2013 13:31:23
Would it be safe to say that we have had surficient of these puns?

You should have bri now.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/08/2013 13:37:24
So, de, um, claw I'd found belonged to a Sea Eagle.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/08/2013 13:40:24
Reminds me of that song by Rod Stewart, the one that goes:

I am saline,
I am saline,
Like a bird,
'Cross the sea.


Yes, its a bit of a sloppy song, but I like it, I'm just that salt of guy.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/08/2013 13:56:02
The Devil came unto me and said, "Would you like to see heaven or would you like to see my domain?"
I replied, "I wouldn't mind seeing heaven," but I said "Nah, see hell!* You must be joking."


*NaCl
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/08/2013 14:06:58
The experiment, which was extremely dangerous, involved combining 9 parts potassium with 1 part phosphorus.

The result was K9P. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.messentools.com%2Fimages%2Femoticones%2Fhumor%2Fwww.MessenTools.com-emoticones-humor-014.gif&hash=c78e11d7966b7a301585fdb21dd01ccf)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Bill S on 19/08/2013 20:05:06
This new clear water is good for fishin'.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/08/2013 02:20:59
Would it be safe to say that we have had surficient of these puns?

You should have bri now.

I bet Don_1's quote above gets wave reviews.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/08/2013 02:28:33
The experiment, which was extremely dangerous, involved combining 9 parts potassium with 1 part phosphorus.

The result was K9P. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.messentools.com%2Fimages%2Femoticones%2Fhumor%2Fwww.MessenTools.com-emoticones-humor-014.gif&hash=c78e11d7966b7a301585fdb21dd01ccf)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F1DFDC3E4-8842-4DD2-A7C5-72ACAE42487F-1767-0000009D78D98CAE.jpg&hash=2b178475d7d7e8921265b72417e74c69)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/08/2013 17:34:43
The Devil came unto me and said, "Would you like to see heaven or would you like to see my domain?"
I replied, "I wouldn't mind seeing heaven," but I said "Nah, see hell!* You must be joking."


*NaCl


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB9C47F17-9AEE-4B4D-919F-1AC9C341FCEE-1767-000000D2AAB9CD32.jpg&hash=6e84e6341ac040f6fad547b0a4ef44da)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/08/2013 23:31:25
Would it be safe to say that we have had surficient of these puns?

More like a surfeit, I think.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/08/2013 08:52:28

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F1DFDC3E4-8842-4DD2-A7C5-72ACAE42487F-1767-0000009D78D98CAE.jpg&hash=2b178475d7d7e8921265b72417e74c69)


 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/08/2013 09:07:39
Would it be safe to say that we have had surficient of these puns?

More like a surfeit , I think.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.istockimg.com%2Ffile_thumbview_approve%2F73678%2F2%2Fstock-photo-73678-cartoon-knight.jpg&hash=397543888afaa5c53f399173e0310576)

Sir Feet at your service, my Lord Demo.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/08/2013 15:24:03

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thenakedscientists.com%2Fforum%2Findex.php%3Faction%3Ddlattach%3Btopic%3D31700.0%3Battach%3D17891&hash=ef186e8c3874aab9b95666f15c170b4a)


DON_1 WINS THE FOLLOWING "FUNNIEST SHARK GRAPHIC" AWARD!!!![;D]

This should look great placed by your bathtub! (Rubber ducky not included).

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FF5582F9E-D875-43FD-8501-E9773DBA9737-196-0000000CE1689C69.jpg&hash=e5121af410ebf4bbd77f0a8e6be65b1f)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/08/2013 16:58:19
Would it be safe to say that we have had surficient of these puns?

More like a surfeit , I think.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.istockimg.com%2Ffile_thumbview_approve%2F73678%2F2%2Fstock-photo-73678-cartoon-knight.jpg&hash=397543888afaa5c53f399173e0310576)

Sir Feet at your service, my Lord Demo.

Why, thank you kindly, Sir Feet, for your abundance of services on my behalf!
Lord Demo
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/08/2013 07:33:58

Would it be safe to say that we have had surficient of these puns?


Don't give up.

We must go deeper, beyond the surface of these puns!

Otherwise, water we here for?



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/08/2013 08:51:54
Ach..............ACHOOOOooooooo

........ H2O
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/08/2013 08:54:07

Why, thank you kindly, Sir Feet, for your abundance of services on my behalf!
Lord Demo

Isn't that what a baker does at a party? A bun dance.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/08/2013 09:00:59
If there are a bakers dozen less 3, then it would be a ten dance.

When they all leave the dance floor, it would be a void ance

Synchronised swimmers never use the shallow end of a pool, they have a dep end ance on the other end.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/08/2013 09:04:12
A group of musicians bopping at a party were astonished when the band's guitarist hit a bum note. This caused some dis cord ance.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/08/2013 09:11:48
Somewhat the worse for the drink, I was on the waltzing around the floor singing (after a fashion) 'Show me the way to go home.' I was looking for some guid ance.

They threw me out, saying 'Good rid dance. But I did a quickstep back up the ramp and into the hall. They wont forget my ascend ance in a hurry.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/08/2013 09:14:24
I'm off to the auction room now, where I shall do a bid ance.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/08/2013 09:18:47
I do tend to walk with a skip in my step, but the Mrs tells me to stop it and walk properly. Must I suffer such im ped ance?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Bill S on 23/08/2013 19:49:57
Quote from: Don_1
  H2O

= HIJKLMNO
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/08/2013 22:41:08

When they all leave the dance floor, it would be a void ance


I always avoid ants when I can. They tend to run off with my treats!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffunnyfilez.funnypart.com%2Fpictures%2FFunnyPart-com-ants_are_strong.jpg&hash=a116e15ecc9089023f80b2e0fe68729f)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/08/2013 22:46:46

If there are a bakers dozen less 3, then it would be a ten dance.


Teachers who take class a ten dance are absent-minded.

They focus on non-a ten dance.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/08/2013 22:53:24

Synchronised swimmers never use the shallow end of a pool, they have a dep end ance on the other end.


These synchronized swimmers have a dependence on this product:

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwartburgbugle.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F04%2Fp2-depend.jpg&hash=c6261c8a68156454e638618c4a155e2c)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/08/2013 22:59:05
A group of musicians bopping at a party were astonished when the band's guitarist hit a bum note. This caused some dis cord ance.

When poker players have to fold they feel a bit discarded.

Oh! Whoops! I goofed! You said dis cOrd...

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/08/2013 23:22:21
Otherwise, water we here for?

Ach..............ACHOOOOooooooo

........ H2O


H2Overwhelming Arrogance:
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6423256064/hB7D3FC56/)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/08/2013 23:48:11
I do tend to walk with a skip in my step, but the Mrs tells me to stop it and walk properly. Must I suffer such im ped ance?

Not im pud ence?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/08/2013 23:54:22
With all our focus on dance-ing...

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.treasurenet.com%2Fforums%2Fattachment.php%3Fattachmentid%3D29911%26amp%3Bd%3D1332677155&hash=b52da92a15d3fb207d2c58cc027f55ef)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: alancalverd on 24/08/2013 00:01:47
Who wears a hat for the entire duration of a cricket match?

The umpire on which the sun never sets.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: alancalverd on 24/08/2013 00:04:42
I went to the zoo, but the only animal on display was a dog.

It was a Shitzu.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: alancalverd on 24/08/2013 00:06:36
0
BSc
MA
PhD

3 degrees below zero.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: alancalverd on 24/08/2013 00:08:28
The Mexican fireman had twin sons.

He named them Jose and Hose B
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/08/2013 01:26:35
The Mexican fireman had twin sons.

He named them Jose and Hose B

Stories about a fireman ignite my interest.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: RD on 24/08/2013 04:46:43
I went to the zoo, but the only animal on display was a dog.

It was a Shitzu.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-23714896
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: alancalverd on 24/08/2013 06:57:55
Ok, it was a Tibetan mastiff in a shitzu. But the pun is lost in translation.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Bill S on 24/08/2013 14:42:56
Doggone!  Lion gone!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/08/2013 18:47:20
The Mexican fireman had twin sons.

He named them Jose and Hose B

Funny! [;D]


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/08/2013 22:13:07
Plan ahead! Upcoming: October, 2013, is:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)
http://www.usapple.org/nam

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F68B31C7B-6050-4532-8C69-89A3190F3951-580-000000381856315C.jpg&hash=ec2f1c71cfd3044726e58e8f80293bda)



Buy an apple, take a byte out of it!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/08/2013 00:22:10
The Mexican fireman had twin sons.

He named them Jose and Hose B

Funny! [;D]


In fact, alancalverd wins a "Fireman Of The Year" Award!
                                                (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F34C0708A-A439-4B15-84D3-82CE29E4A476-580-00000083DF30AFDF.jpg&hash=f95aabf5612de5013e5fc7b267eba2b3)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F122FFF56-5A00-4CF2-8621-E1595B2C8A29-580-00000080DAF38CB7.jpg&hash=ebd7297d7653f0cefd7eef584d814a31)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/08/2013 02:23:42
Doggone!  Lion gone!

 [;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 28/08/2013 20:10:54
The zookeepers weren't really lion.  It was their feline that the dog was a copy cat.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/08/2013 20:24:32
           [;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Bill S on 31/08/2013 17:36:53
They were re-lion on people not cat-ching on.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/09/2013 01:22:22
They were re-lion on people not cat-ching on.

Isn't that the sound those old cash registers made?


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FD9DC5E96-8FAB-4CFA-AED6-12DCE033A896-205-0000000C0974BC13_zps698e228c.jpg&hash=a2b3d044b920207a76b71154544bdbdd)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/09/2013 03:01:05
The zookeepers weren't really lion.  It was their feline that the dog was a copy cat.

Zookeepers are meticulous; they always spot clean their leopards.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/09/2013 22:49:02

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F8BFBFC4D-2A24-4C86-AF5D-BAAAC7C55797-205-00000023E5454812_zps81cb33b1.jpg&hash=8c3f5ddb660bda6d6696553c8f75e2a6)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 04/09/2013 00:46:09
Cat-cha!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/09/2013 20:59:57
Gesundheit!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 07/09/2013 01:14:03
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/09/2013 05:23:24
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!

Does this mean your are now head of Punning Thread?

Your servant.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: alancalverd on 11/09/2013 10:32:25
Very ob servant.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/09/2013 12:36:07
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!
Does this mean your are now head of Punning Thread?
Your servant.
Very ob servant.

Civil servants named Grant are known as government grants.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/09/2013 17:01:05
Gesundheit!

Just a minute, I'll measure it.............

A Gesundheit is 8"


OOOoooooOOOOOooooo, stranger than fiction...... I just sneezed, twice
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/09/2013 17:08:33
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!

Here are some dumm kopfs for you Donnah...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm4.static.flickr.com%2F3169%2F2534837176_370897e09d.jpg&hash=5d674fb3fd995a22d7ba4d959122671b)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: alancalverd on 14/09/2013 17:16:01

Just a minute, I'll measure it.............

A Gesundheit is 8"


The maximum height of a Gesunder, of course
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/09/2013 17:25:18
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!
Does this mean your are now head of Punning Thread?
Your servant.
Very ob servant.

Civil servants named Grant are known as government grants.




Most of our civil servants are quite uncivil and are known as government grunts.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/09/2013 17:31:44

Just a minute, I'll measure it.............

A Gesundheit is 8"


The maximum height of a Gesunder, of course

Alas your observation might not be understood by some of our younger readers. For their benefit, 'gesunder' was the term used for a night time pot for the relief of certain natural motions by those who had outside toilets. It was so called because it 'goes under' the bed. Of course Twirlies would know all about it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/09/2013 17:35:12
It goes without saying that one had to be careful when making use of the gesunder, not to make too much noise and to be a sure-shot, otherwise one might be accused of making a commodtion.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/09/2013 17:36:45
Cat-cha!

Would that be tea made from pus.........

Perhaps I should re-phrase that.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/09/2013 04:58:06
Gesundheit!

Just a minute, I'll measure it.............

A Gesundheit is 8"


The maximum height of a Gesunder, of course

Alas your observation might not be understood by some of our younger readers. For their benefit, 'gesunder' was the term used for a night time pot for the relief of certain natural motions by those who had outside toilets. It was so called because it 'goes under' the bed. Of course Twirlies would know all about it.
It goes without saying that one had to be careful when making use of the gesunder, not to make too much noise and to be a sure-shot, otherwise one might be accused of making a commodtion.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FE1206534-19AA-4F6E-B718-23E622F369DF-616-00000034E56AFA2D_zps5d0f1040.jpg&hash=92550c52205c0d4b7d9fb6b269ff766c)

Please note that this video game is a Demo version.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/09/2013 05:05:32
Cat-cha!

Would that be tea made from pus.........

Perhaps I should re-phrase that.

We're all certain that you're referring to kittens



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/09/2013 05:17:19
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!
Does this mean your are now head of Punning Thread?
Your servant.
Very ob servant.

Civil servants named Grant are known as government grants.


Most of our civil servants are quite uncivil and are known as government grunts.

If the Japanese army took over the government it would be a high coup.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/09/2013 05:33:05
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!

Here are some dumm kopfs for you Donnah...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm4.static.flickr.com%2F3169%2F2534837176_370897e09d.jpg&hash=5d674fb3fd995a22d7ba4d959122671b)


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fphoto-14.gif&hash=dfd390f7ba567482a65bd456c80ee6f1)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/09/2013 06:09:10
0
BSc
MA
PhD

3 degrees below zero.

Piled higher & Deeper?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/09/2013 06:41:39
Quote from: Don_1
  H2O

= HIJKLMNO

P2Z

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/09/2013 06:54:04
[A toilet user] might be accused of making a commodtion.

[;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/09/2013 11:50:41
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!

Here are some dumm kopfs for you Donnah...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm4.static.flickr.com%2F3169%2F2534837176_370897e09d.jpg&hash=5d674fb3fd995a22d7ba4d959122671b)


They were the keystone of early film comedy.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/09/2013 11:54:23
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fc%2Fc7%2FMusic-flat.svg%2F100px-Music-flat.svg.png&hash=4f2e27522e3ca99646437dcb8a851631) This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/09/2013 12:09:49
.......... And this is a quay stone:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Firishwaterways.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F03%2Fsaleen-quay-19_resize.jpg&hash=aded74854f912994f59f8d7bb9770d30)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/09/2013 12:18:47
Kus asub tualettruum?

This means, 'where is the toilet?'

You might describe this a key Estonian phrase.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: alancalverd on 18/09/2013 13:30:37
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fc%2Fc7%2FMusic-flat.svg%2F100px-Music-flat.svg.png&hash=4f2e27522e3ca99646437dcb8a851631) This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.

F flat? Really????
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 18/09/2013 13:36:14
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fc%2Fc7%2FMusic-flat.svg%2F100px-Music-flat.svg.png&hash=4f2e27522e3ca99646437dcb8a851631) This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.

F flat? Really????

Could be a bass clef - A flat?

I think ice creams that have all the ice cream at the top and nothing in the cone are a tease cone. You eat them with a spooner.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 18/09/2013 13:38:41
I also like to have tea, scones on the side please.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/09/2013 18:51:30
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fc%2Fc7%2FMusic-flat.svg%2F100px-Music-flat.svg.png&hash=4f2e27522e3ca99646437dcb8a851631) This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.

F flat? Really????

I looked for F flat on my piano all night long. Nope, I could only find an E.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/09/2013 19:00:21
I also like to have tea, scones on the side please.

Scone anyone?


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F5096E9F2-C848-44E0-8C5E-CB56DA4A7F1D-137-0000000390194ED6_zps70b6a49e.jpg&hash=2098013b0389b8e6624bc7d30e0d92e5)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/09/2013 19:11:37
Thank you for the blessing to my dumm kopf!

Here are some dumm kopfs for you Donnah...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffarm4.static.flickr.com%2F3169%2F2534837176_370897e09d.jpg&hash=5d674fb3fd995a22d7ba4d959122671b)



The Keystone Kops were frequently criticized for excessive use of farce.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/09/2013 19:33:14
Kus asub tualettruum?

This means, 'where is the toilet?'

You might describe this a key Estonian phrase.


Alcoholics Happy Breakfast
Tallinn, Estonia

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F82DD5AC1-FE25-40FB-8B47-FDD681F1D790-137-0000000ECC6797C7_zps96a68101.jpg&hash=d14228662420d011e74462acd7a029c5)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/09/2013 11:55:09
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fc%2Fc7%2FMusic-flat.svg%2F100px-Music-flat.svg.png&hash=4f2e27522e3ca99646437dcb8a851631) This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.

F flat? Really????

I looked for F flat on my piano all night long. Nope, I could only find an E.

Nobody leave the room, someone's filched Demo's F flat.

Looks like a job for the key's gone kops. I think Lionel Richie  could be a prime suspect.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/09/2013 11:59:38
Kus asub tualettruum?

This means, 'where is the toilet?'

You might describe this a key Estonian phrase.


Alcoholics Happy Breakfast
Tallinn, Estonia

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F82DD5AC1-FE25-40FB-8B47-FDD681F1D790-137-0000000ECC6797C7_zps96a68101.jpg&hash=d14228662420d011e74462acd7a029c5)



Thank you for tallinn us about this.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/09/2013 12:06:23
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fc%2Fc7%2FMusic-flat.svg%2F100px-Music-flat.svg.png&hash=4f2e27522e3ca99646437dcb8a851631) This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.

F flat? Really????

Could be a bass clef - A flat?

I think ice creams that have all the ice cream at the top and nothing in the cone are a tease cone. You eat them with a spooner.

Ah! With a spooner is'm it? Well crone the stows.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/09/2013 12:14:03
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fc%2Fc7%2FMusic-flat.svg%2F100px-Music-flat.svg.png&hash=4f2e27522e3ca99646437dcb8a851631) This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.

F flat? Really????

I don't wish to deflate your enthusiasm, but obviously you need to pump up the volume.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/09/2013 12:19:27

The Keystone Kops were frequently criticized for excessive use of farce.


Would it also be the case that a Keystone Kop in the Tour de France would have far cycling to do?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/09/2013 13:22:46

The Keystone Kops were frequently criticized for excessive use of farce.


Would it also be the case that a Keystone Kop in the Tour de France would have far cycling to do?

One minute I'm sure a Keystone Kop would require it, the next minute I'm not so sure.

It's a vicious cycle.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/09/2013 13:27:49
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fc%2Fc7%2FMusic-flat.svg%2F100px-Music-flat.svg.png&hash=4f2e27522e3ca99646437dcb8a851631) This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.

F flat? Really????

I looked for F flat on my piano all night long. Nope, I could only find an E.

Nobody leave the room, someone's filched Demo's F flat.

Looks like a job for the key's gone kops. I think Lionel Richie  could be a prime suspect.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FE036A0CE-4224-4223-B617-06D15C8F1CC3-263-0000001DBD2AC453_zpsbb72481d.jpg&hash=fb26e5483ecbb2b0502b65126ec56e09)
Why Lionel Richie?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/09/2013 13:56:19
Kus asub tualettruum?

This means, 'where is the toilet?'

You might describe this a key Estonian phrase.


Alcoholics Happy Breakfast
Tallinn, Estonia

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F82DD5AC1-FE25-40FB-8B47-FDD681F1D790-137-0000000ECC6797C7_zps96a68101.jpg&hash=d14228662420d011e74462acd7a029c5)



Thank you for tallinn us about this.

You're welcome.

There's no tallin how far this Science of Punning will take us.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/09/2013 14:09:04
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fc%2Fc7%2FMusic-flat.svg%2F100px-Music-flat.svg.png&hash=4f2e27522e3ca99646437dcb8a851631) This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.

F flat? Really????

I looked for F flat on my piano all night long. Nope, I could only find an E.

Nobody leave the room, someone's filched Demo's F flat.

Looks like a job for the key's gone kops. I think Lionel Richie  could be a prime suspect.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FE036A0CE-4224-4223-B617-06D15C8F1CC3-263-0000001DBD2AC453_zpsbb72481d.jpg&hash=fb26e5483ecbb2b0502b65126ec56e09)
Why Lionel Richie?



Oh commodore, commodore, now, you must remember All Night Long (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyQVjGdJ60g)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: alancalverd on 20/09/2013 14:10:21
Hardly a pun, but I once worked with a bandleader who announced "my personal request is To Be with You One Hour Tonight in A flat".

We also played a rag which he claimed was named after a rugby match: Fiji Defeat

As it happened, the music was a lot better than the announcements, which he admitted had been honed on years of public indifference.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/09/2013 14:12:13

It's a vicious cycle.


If we work in tandem we can beat it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/09/2013 14:18:24
Hardly a pun, but I once worked with a bandleader who announced "my personal request is To Be with You One Hour Tonight in A flat".


Which inevitabley leads me to the foreman on a building site. When told the brickies were running out of bricks on the last house and wouldn't have enough for any more than the ground floor, he said, "Never mind, just bung a low roof on it."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/09/2013 20:03:40
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fc%2Fc7%2FMusic-flat.svg%2F100px-Music-flat.svg.png&hash=4f2e27522e3ca99646437dcb8a851631) This, on the other hand, is a keys tone.

F flat? Really????

I looked for F flat on my piano all night long. Nope, I could only find an E.

Nobody leave the room, someone's filched Demo's F flat.

Looks like a job for the key's gone kops. I think Lionel Richie  could be a prime suspect.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FE036A0CE-4224-4223-B617-06D15C8F1CC3-263-0000001DBD2AC453_zpsbb72481d.jpg&hash=fb26e5483ecbb2b0502b65126ec56e09)
Why Lionel Richie?



Oh commodore, commodore, now, you must remember All Night Long (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyQVjGdJ60g)

<embarrassed, hanging up my musician's stripes>

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmyfuturemyself.files.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F11%2Fembarrassed11.jpg&hash=1d38ad56f5de740f665c3c30a8147210)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/09/2013 20:07:56
Hardly a pun, but I once worked with a bandleader who announced "my personal request is To Be with You One Hour Tonight in A flat".

We also played a rag which he claimed was named after a rugby match: Fiji Defeat

As it happened, the music was a lot better than the announcements, which he admitted had been honed on years of public indifference.

Funny! What instrument? (Mine's piano).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/09/2013 20:35:27
ONLY DAYS AWAY! Plan ahead! Upcoming: October, 2013, is:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)
http://www.usapple.org/nam

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F68B31C7B-6050-4532-8C69-89A3190F3951-580-000000381856315C.jpg&hash=ec2f1c71cfd3044726e58e8f80293bda)



Buy an apple, take a byte out of it!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/09/2013 21:53:07
Oh dear, not the fruit puns again....... Well I'd better get my helmet on if we're throwing fruit puns around again, of course its a pith helmet.


Now, did I say 'pith helmet', or have I got a listhp?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/09/2013 21:54:49
Hardly a pun, but I once worked with a bandleader who announced "my personal request is To Be with You One Hour Tonight in A flat".

We also played a rag which he claimed was named after a rugby match: Fiji Defeat

As it happened, the music was a lot better than the announcements, which he admitted had been honed on years of public indifference.

Funny! What instrument? (Mine's piano).

I get the feeling it may have been his French Horn.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/09/2013 21:59:00
Oh dear, not the fruit puns again....... Well I'd better get my helmet on if we're throwing fruit puns around again, of course its a pith helmet.

Now, did I say 'pith helmet', or have I got a listhp?

Fruity puns are ok.

So are computer puns.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F68B31C7B-6050-4532-8C69-89A3190F3951-580-000000381856315C.jpg&hash=ec2f1c71cfd3044726e58e8f80293bda)
"Buy an apple, take a byte out of it!"


October is not a time for mintsing words, it's hard to know ware to begin and when to softly ware something nicer.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/09/2013 22:00:33
Hardly a pun, but I once worked with a bandleader who announced "my personal request is To Be with You One Hour Tonight in A flat".

We also played a rag which he claimed was named after a rugby match: Fiji Defeat

As it happened, the music was a lot better than the announcements, which he admitted had been honed on years of public indifference.

Singing in a pub one night, I asked if anyone had any requests. Some bight spark piped up, "Yes, 'Over the Hills and Far Away', as far away as possible!" Another joined in with "Do you know The Sound of Silence?" "Yes" I foolishly replied, he said "Well shut the *^%&*£>* up then."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/09/2013 22:05:09

Fruity puns are ok.


So long as they don't come in pears with afternoon tea. I do so hate two t frutti.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/09/2013 22:12:56
Hardly a pun, but I once worked with a bandleader who announced "my personal request is To Be with You One Hour Tonight in A flat".

We also played a rag which he claimed was named after a rugby match: Fiji Defeat

As it happened, the music was a lot better than the announcements, which he admitted had been honed on years of public indifference.

Singing in a pub one night, I asked if anyone had any requests. Some bight spark piped up, "Yes, 'Over the Hills and Far Away', as far away as possible!" Another joined in with "Do you know The Sound of Silence?" "Yes" I foolishly replied, he said "Well shut the *^%&*£>* up then."

LOL![;D]

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/09/2013 22:30:57

Fruity puns are ok.


So long as they don't come in pears with afternoon tea. I do so hate two t frutti.

If I must stand trial for an infraction of this rule, I hope I'm judged by a jury of my pears.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/09/2013 11:51:25

Fruity puns are ok.


So long as they don't come in pears with afternoon tea. I do so hate two t frutti.

If I must stand trial for an infraction of this rule, I hope I'm judged by a jury dhurrie of my pears.



But of course, after all, you don't want the carpet pulled from under you.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/09/2013 12:01:37
Oh dear, not the fruit puns again....... Well I'd better get my helmet on if we're throwing fruit puns around again, of course its a pith helmet.

Now, did I say 'pith helmet', or have I got a listhp?

Fruity puns are ok.

So are computer puns.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F68B31C7B-6050-4532-8C69-89A3190F3951-580-000000381856315C.jpg&hash=ec2f1c71cfd3044726e58e8f80293bda)
"Buy an apple, take a byte out of it!"


October is not a time for mintsing words, it's hard to know ware to begin and when to softly ware something nicer.




I was going to respond to this post, but my mother got board with the subject. She has no interest in computers and says that laptops are too small for her to use. She prefers something enormouse, whereas us bing more modern like to go compaqt.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/09/2013 22:41:59

I was going to respond to this post, but my mother got board with the subject.


Instead, your mother should have gotten on board with the subject.


...She has no interest in computers and says that laptops are too small for her to use.


Perhaps The Big Tops are more appealing?


She prefers something enormouse


Mouset you keep bringing that up?


...whereas us bing more modern like to go compaqt.


The dell you do!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/09/2013 22:48:55

Fruity puns are ok.


So long as they don't come in pears with afternoon tea. I do so hate two t frutti.

If I must stand trial for an infraction of this rule, I hope I'm judged by a jury dhurrie of my pears.



But of course, after all, you don't want the carpet pulled from under you.

You're right. that happened to me while visiting Indianapolis!

But don't make carpet (blanket?) pronouncements; some people LIKE their carpets pulled from under them!



see: Masochism, wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masochism


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 24/09/2013 05:26:23
When reserving your seat on an indian carpet with all your friends, always call centre, so as not to upset the equilibrahma.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/09/2013 07:05:34
When reserving your seat on an indian carpet with all your friends, always call centre, so as not to upset the equilibrahma.

I would recommend reserving your seat with a very large Indian carpet-travel call centre that hires huge numbers of part-time actors.

That way you will have a caste of thousands at your disposal!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 24/09/2013 23:04:11

I was going to respond to this post, but my mother got board with the subject.


Instead, your mother should have gotten on board with the subject.


...She has no interest in computers and says that laptops are too small for her to use.


Perhaps The Big Tops (Circuses) are more appealing?


She prefers something enormouse


Mouset you keep bringing that up?


...whereas us bing more modern like to go compaqt.


The dell you do!


If you covet your neighbour's computer, you may end up going to help!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/09/2013 23:59:22

If you covet your neighbour's computer, you may end up going to help!


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F7324C128-4D47-4958-BF48-CFF4728E660C-768-00000040F7DF7279_zps3f00986d.jpg&hash=e770e8dfc6ea8a26440f648ceb27a126)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/09/2013 09:32:13
I have a covet on my bed. Or is that a duvet?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/09/2013 09:41:43
When reserving your seat on an indian carpet with all your friends, always call centre, so as not to upset the equilibrahma.

I'm glad you cottoned on to that.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/09/2013 20:24:56
When reserving your seat on an indian carpet with all your friends, always call centre, so as not to upset the equilibrahma.

I'm glad you cottoned on to that.

The manufacturing of t-shirts has really cotton.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/09/2013 20:29:05
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F404F6A1C-FC04-459D-8BDA-EEE99C96CBF4-443-00000028B5B229DD_zpsb161bccf.jpg&hash=4e14a2505654303f12024458e0e8fc84)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 28/09/2013 23:46:06
I have a covet on my bed. Or is that a duvet?
I think it's a duvet cover.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/09/2013 07:49:27
Does this mean Don_1 didn't cover all bases?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 29/09/2013 15:35:01
I doubt that that's true.  Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/09/2013 00:20:34
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F72242050-7AFE-49B4-8BDB-2ACC9036EB61-221-0000000E9F74D140_zpsb00af863.jpg&hash=f7eb44c4e47a3e295f263d8d14e99b71)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/09/2013 00:34:34
ONLY DAYS AWAY! Plan ahead! Upcoming: October, 2013, is:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)
http://www.usapple.org/nam

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F68B31C7B-6050-4532-8C69-89A3190F3951-580-000000381856315C.jpg&hash=ec2f1c71cfd3044726e58e8f80293bda)



Buy an apple, take a byte out of it!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/09/2013 11:46:49
Does this mean Don_1 didn't cover all bases?

I may not have covered all the bases and don't think I covered the car, but I did cover di van.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/09/2013 11:50:23
I doubt that that's true.  Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-ashamed005.gif&hash=1c79a278bedf7ec624b32be088286225) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) It was an accident that happened in the wee small hours.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/09/2013 11:59:48
ONLY DAYS AWAY! Plan ahead! Upcoming: October, 2013, is:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)
http://www.usapple.org/nam

I thought I was ready for this, but there's something wrong with this apple that Ma ggot.
(https://d15mj6e6qmt1na.cloudfront.net/files/images/0429/9772/maggot_in_apple.jpg)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/09/2013 12:02:39
Playing musical chairs, I got knocked out in the first round. I really should have sat suma.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/09/2013 21:37:52
I doubt that that's true.  Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-ashamed005.gif&hash=1c79a278bedf7ec624b32be088286225) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) It was an accident that happened in the wee small hours.

Urine trouble now.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/09/2013 21:46:44
ONLY DAYS AWAY! Plan ahead! Upcoming: October, 2013, is:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)
http://www.usapple.org/nam

I thought I was ready for this, but there's something wrong with this apple that Ma ggot.
(https://d15mj6e6qmt1na.cloudfront.net/files/images/0429/9772/maggot_in_apple.jpg)

Same here. Even Grand Ma tried to do the rot thing.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFAD460D2-9944-4315-BC2F-C3D86D5E8CF5-392-000000591D8007B6_zpsb5f60220.jpg&hash=6598437d893d24c0164bfa61248c95b1)



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/10/2013 17:42:15
I doubt that that's true.  Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-ashamed005.gif&hash=1c79a278bedf7ec624b32be088286225) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) It was an accident that happened in the wee small hours.

Urine trouble now.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing021.gif&hash=44605df69e1507c3ed4d235c15c22e92) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) I like it, I like it!!!

Oh yes Demo, we all know when ur ea, don't we!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/10/2013 17:46:11
Do I like rented humour? Or is it just when its toilet
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/10/2013 17:52:11
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.topendsports.com%2Fsport%2Funusual%2Fimages%2Fgurning.jpg&hash=f199a65e610d565671bcae3c4a3d0fda)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia.slated.org%2Falbums%2Fcontent%2Fimage%2Fgurning.jpg&hash=dd0b4a6be30566367b6da41fdd266107)

Look, people are pulling faeces at me.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/10/2013 17:56:39
Oh! I seem to have been throne off course. Dear oh dear, its all gone down the pan now, I'm feeling rather flushed.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/10/2013 18:58:09
I doubt that that's true.  Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-ashamed005.gif&hash=1c79a278bedf7ec624b32be088286225) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) It was an accident that happened in the wee small hours.

Urine trouble now.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing021.gif&hash=44605df69e1507c3ed4d235c15c22e92) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) I like it, I like it!!!

Oh yes Demo, we all know when ur ea, don't we!

Don_1, yes, we're all here because we're not all there.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/10/2013 19:06:55
Do I like rented humour? Or is it just when its toilet

People prefer the leasedt humor from me.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 03/10/2013 19:58:09
I doubt that that's true.  Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-ashamed005.gif&hash=1c79a278bedf7ec624b32be088286225) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) It was an accident that happened in the wee small hours.

Urine trouble now.
Sheet.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/10/2013 21:28:57
Don't fear, Donnah! Don_1 has a SCIENTIFIC way out of this cot-conundrum:

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC1ACC6A2-337F-47BE-ADFC-58DAE0A6705A-321-00000077E0613F7F_zpsb180db37.jpg&hash=6738484811c313cd8ef1b0197d77f0f4)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/10/2013 23:41:21
I doubt that that's true.  Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-ashamed005.gif&hash=1c79a278bedf7ec624b32be088286225) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) It was an accident that happened in the wee small hours.

Urine trouble now.
Sheet.

Donnah wins this DISPOSABLE WEE-MATS Prize for the next time Don_1 visits...Donnah will be...PREPARED!


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA554BB3D-449B-4690-89D8-A408B9F64BAD-321-0000009036A814E7_zps430802a1.jpg&hash=e2f3b66de3b33fa2251a77bfb17d7f08)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/10/2013 16:23:24
Don't fear, Donnah! Don_1 has a SCIENTIFIC way out of this cot-conundrum:

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC1ACC6A2-337F-47BE-ADFC-58DAE0A6705A-321-00000077E0613F7F_zpsb180db37.jpg&hash=6738484811c313cd8ef1b0197d77f0f4)


Someone's nicked my idea!

Oh well, what the heck. I just warn them, it didn't sell too well for me. Can't think why?!?!?!

 [ Invalid Attachment ]


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/10/2013 16:48:39
I doubt that that's true.  Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-ashamed005.gif&hash=1c79a278bedf7ec624b32be088286225) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) It was an accident that happened in the wee small hours.

Urine trouble now.
Sheet.

Donnah wins this DISPOSABLE WEE-MATS Prize for the next time Don_1 visits...Donnah will be...PREPARED!


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA554BB3D-449B-4690-89D8-A408B9F64BAD-321-0000009036A814E7_zps430802a1.jpg&hash=e2f3b66de3b33fa2251a77bfb17d7f08)


I think Demo, Donnah & co lost a my bag.

I always used to be an 'appy person, never sad.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/10/2013 17:29:21
I think Don_1's SCIENTIFIC solution is best, but I'm not 100% convinced of the political correctness of Don_1's product name change. Perhaps we submit this to the Product In Scientific Service (PISS) Committee????

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thenakedscientists.com%2Fforum%2Findex.php%3Faction%3Ddlattach%3Btopic%3D31700.0%3Battach%3D17975&hash=f09a8f5a2db35cc9743003f588449098)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 05/10/2013 19:36:57
Hahaha, you two are on a run(s).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/10/2013 04:41:09
ONLY DAYS AWAY! Plan ahead! Upcoming: October, 2013, is:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)
http://www.usapple.org/nam

I thought I was ready for this, but there's something wrong with this apple that Ma ggot.
(https://d15mj6e6qmt1na.cloudfront.net/files/images/0429/9772/maggot_in_apple.jpg)

Same here. Even Grand Ma tried to do the rot thing.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFAD460D2-9944-4315-BC2F-C3D86D5E8CF5-392-000000591D8007B6_zpsb5f60220.jpg&hash=6598437d893d24c0164bfa61248c95b1)


Why isn't this apple corectly celebrating???

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC3CFD653-83BD-43CC-96F9-8ABC7BED671C-295-0000001AB1E951DF_zpsbb87e4ce.jpg&hash=5ccc8beb0a2feb38f68ee5c3074cb13d)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/10/2013 04:44:29

Hahaha, you two are on a run(s).


If Don_1  runs through a screen door he'll strain himself!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 08/10/2013 19:40:49
Don't be saucy.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/10/2013 20:52:21

Someone's nicked my idea!

Oh well, what the heck. I just warn them, ["PISS OFF!!!!"] didn't sell too well for me. Can't think why?!?!?!


Your company motto should have been, "It's better to be pissed off than pissed on!"

Then watch sales skyrocket!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/10/2013 20:56:42

Don't be saucy.


What is the saurce of your irritation?

Apple saurce?

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/10/2013 02:21:12
Hahaha, you two are on a run(s).

Thanks, Donnah![:)]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/10/2013 13:41:48

Hahaha, you two are on a run(s).


If Don_1  runs through a screen door he'll strain himself!



That would be just grate.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/10/2013 13:45:08

Someone's nicked my idea!

Oh well, what the heck. I just warn them, ["PISS OFF!!!!"] didn't sell too well for me. Can't think why?!?!?!


Your company motto should have been, "It's better to be pissed off than pissed on!"

Then watch sales skyrocket!



Do you think I'd pocket it in?


For the benefit of the unfamiliar; 'skyrocket' is cockney rhyming slang for 'pocket'.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/10/2013 13:57:30
..................... skyrocket!



I sat on 5 chairs before I found one to my liking.

"You can't sit on that one, it belongs to Harry." Ann said.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/10/2013 14:11:45
Don't be saucy.


Was that really pertinent?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/10/2013 14:13:46
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC3CFD653-83BD-43CC-96F9-8ABC7BED671C-295-0000001AB1E951DF_zpsbb87e4ce.jpg&hash=5ccc8beb0a2feb38f68ee5c3074cb13d)

Eh pull faces at someone else.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/10/2013 14:20:32
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC3CFD653-83BD-43CC-96F9-8ABC7BED671C-295-0000001AB1E951DF_zpsbb87e4ce.jpg&hash=5ccc8beb0a2feb38f68ee5c3074cb13d)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.topendsports.com%2Fsport%2Funusual%2Fimages%2Fgurning.jpg&hash=f199a65e610d565671bcae3c4a3d0fda)

What with a pples and peo ples pulling faces at me, well I'm just not gurning to stand for it!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/10/2013 14:45:10
The EU, in its infinite wisdom, decided to standardise the shape and size of fruit & veg some years ago. This meant no more sniggering and chortling in fresh produce aisles of our supermarkets, because of the shape of a turnip or carrot which more than vaguely resembled a certain body part.

I am glad to say that this silly regulation has been consigned to room 101 (probably the biggest & best room in Brussells).

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi234.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fee317%2Fwatcyn%2Fmagic_fruit_131.jpg&hash=64df4246713f6ac1946f66806006e4c9)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fxenophilius.files.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F07%2Fwatermelon-shaped-like-ass.jpg&hash=919eb0ebbc34863969ed7d0328baa161)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3.amazonaws.com%2Fmanmadediy-uploads-production%2Fphotos%2F8924%2F0817_veg01_rect540.jpg&hash=bd6ea9ed05ce12d79f2044c436e1eeb2)

The trouble is, while Esther Rantzen and the 'That's Life' team could amuze us with the real thing, these days, it will only too easy to 'photoshop' just about any photo to give the desired saucy result.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/10/2013 19:57:51
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC3CFD653-83BD-43CC-96F9-8ABC7BED671C-295-0000001AB1E951DF_zpsbb87e4ce.jpg&hash=5ccc8beb0a2feb38f68ee5c3074cb13d)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.topendsports.com%2Fsport%2Funusual%2Fimages%2Fgurning.jpg&hash=f199a65e610d565671bcae3c4a3d0fda)

What with a pples and peo ples pulling faces at me, well I'm just not ***gurning to stand for it!

***Gurning. Pronounced /ˈɡɜːnɪŋ/ British term —

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/10/2013 20:05:40

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi234.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fee317%2Fwatcyn%2Fmagic_fruit_131.jpg&hash=64df4246713f6ac1946f66806006e4c9)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fxenophilius.files.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F07%2Fwatermelon-shaped-like-ass.jpg&hash=919eb0ebbc34863969ed7d0328baa161)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3.amazonaws.com%2Fmanmadediy-uploads-production%2Fphotos%2F8924%2F0817_veg01_rect540.jpg&hash=bd6ea9ed05ce12d79f2044c436e1eeb2)



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F021DA920-2643-46CF-B80C-A33923AB0132-205-0000000D4D051BF8_zpsdc59a51a.jpg&hash=3f04a6b8a04b246ed269bf938bd06a92)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 09/10/2013 20:18:00
The EU, in its infinite wisdom, decided to standardise the shape and size of fruit & veg some years ago. This meant no more sniggering and chortling in fresh produce aisles of our supermarkets, because of the shape of a turnip or carrot which more than vaguely resembled a certain body part.
Now why would they take the fun out of shopping like that?  I shop mainly in my garden and it's fun to give people produce with odd shapes and see their reaction.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/10/2013 00:21:20

Now why would they take the fun out of shopping like that?...


My dentist's favorite shopping center is 'The Gap'.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/10/2013 05:27:17
October, 2013, is:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)

We're 1/3 into October, so there's still time to apply yourselves, Dear Punsters!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 10/10/2013 18:49:21

Now why would they take the fun out of shopping like that?...


My dentist's favorite shopping center is 'The Gap'.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away;-)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/10/2013 20:25:04

Thank you, Donnah. Until you said that, my search for the truth had been fruitless.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/10/2013 20:37:07

An apple a day keeps the doctor away
;-)



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.washingtonpost.com%2Fwp-srv%2Ffood%2Fimages%2FAppleAnimation.gif&hash=df82cf1a0d88597083951fe04e55f0bb)

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F45E8A934-365D-436E-8CDE-8D38502DA919-120-000000049D3DF695.jpg&hash=fa6965275b764b76107f70cef31ba68a)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/10/2013 20:55:56

Oh! I seem to have been throne off course.


Perhaps, but royal chairs - on the other hand - are rarely throne out.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/10/2013 23:51:26
The EU, in its infinite wisdom, decided to standardise the shape and size of fruit & veg some years ago. This meant no more sniggering and chortling in fresh produce aisles of our supermarkets, because of the shape of a turnip or carrot which more than vaguely resembled a certain body part.
Now why would they take the fun out of shopping like that?  I shop mainly in my garden and it's fun to give people produce with odd shapes and see their reaction.

I agree. Fun shapes are...fun!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: alancalverd on 11/10/2013 19:18:53
But I am given to understand that the Turkish words for cucumber and melon are also slang for primary and secondary sexual characteristics, so it is forbidden to advertise them by shouting their names in a market. Instead, you have to shout "salad things" and "fruit things". Now how will that be reconciled with EU requirements for unambiguous labelling?   
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/10/2013 21:35:29
Call them peniscukes and boobmelons???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/10/2013 16:02:49
October, 2013, is:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F84C1C519-C0A3-4892-A6FD-E60EB2F70F1C-137-000000028F66CC87_zpse62f7c91.jpg&hash=a015ff34f1a7104e68e663aab52dfdf1)

Good morning apple-in-your-coffee, anyone?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/10/2013 05:32:26

October, 2013, is:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC7FEFDCB-44E8-44F0-BC94-EF836A996E30-137-00000005D48A1507_zps2ced926a.jpg&hash=0829c1c650ddb2e1d68321045915dc20)

Don_1, you said you didn't want anyone pulling faces...

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/10/2013 05:52:43
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC3CFD653-83BD-43CC-96F9-8ABC7BED671C-295-0000001AB1E951DF_zpsbb87e4ce.jpg&hash=5ccc8beb0a2feb38f68ee5c3074cb13d)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.topendsports.com%2Fsport%2Funusual%2Fimages%2Fgurning.jpg&hash=f199a65e610d565671bcae3c4a3d0fda)

What with a pples and peo ples pulling faces at me, well I'm just not gurning to stand for it!

Don_1, I hope this facepulling below is an improvement!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F5E6EBFBB-1B7A-4E12-88ED-D6C2EEAF9707-716-0000008EEF0E47C6_zps2c0cadd6.jpg&hash=662d41bc638cb3dabbe20a2eebe2e254)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/10/2013 04:52:50

Just a minute, I'll measure it.............

A Gesundheit is 8"

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FE1206534-19AA-4F6E-B718-23E622F369DF-616-00000034E56AFA2D_zps5d0f1040.jpg&hash=92550c52205c0d4b7d9fb6b269ff766c)

Above: a Demo version.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F44914EDC-08DE-4DB7-8422-B03D26D5440C-165-0000005055FD9536_zps8e365b35.jpg&hash=2fd9353567e3cab4b9f5461f2928ca72)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: alancalverd on 16/10/2013 07:21:01
Perhaps, but royal chairs - on the other hand - are rarely throne out.

In my days as a civil servant, I was instructed in the arts of committee secretaryship. I was warned about political correctness thus: "Queen Anne is a chair. Princess Anne is a chairman. They are both very good at what they do, but please do not confuse their roles." 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/10/2013 21:19:42
Interesting, alancalverd! I would have thought chair and chairman would be reversed because of royal hierarchy.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/10/2013 19:43:45
I doubt that that's true.  Sounds like Don_1 vetted the bed.

For Best Vetting Pun, Donnah wins this book prize!(it's the only graphic I could find!)


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC0DCB666-D5A7-4AC5-9847-73667EA56EB3-264-0000001AC9A62557_zpsa9c1bb68.jpg&hash=408c57bd738df6b5dac26ec43d6657b9)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 18/10/2013 04:47:32
That looks like the face of someone waiting for a burger to Frey.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/10/2013 05:21:26
That looks like the face of someone waiting for a burger to Frey.


I owned three french-fry factories, but to me it was just small potatoes.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/10/2013 05:31:29
October, 2013, is:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F4B4DAD24-2B82-47FD-8E89-D5900C28D10E-743-00000053F4F86124_zps9d3ae2f6.jpg&hash=a39bb3d2c18c3a49820e33cc76e30924)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/10/2013 05:39:00
October, 2013, is:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F641D6302-49CF-4AEA-9448-448661D761B7-743-00000055BA47AD9F_zpsbd217f21.jpg&hash=1fba434951482759fc2e1ce4f0e10c53)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/10/2013 05:40:13
October, 2013, is:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)

Full disclosure: I am a ***PC*** + iPhone user!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/10/2013 16:04:00
October, 2013, is:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFC2A7A08-1734-4586-8C9D-9F234B29B8E6-580-0000003A1F0265AD.jpg&hash=79eaed8d1019519ee2282623d5eaf112)

Full disclosure: I am a ***PC*** + iPhone user!



That's quite enough pho now.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/10/2013 16:06:00
I do wish apple month would hurry up and go by. Its giving me the pip.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/10/2013 16:15:23
Why do we never have an Ugly Fruit month? Must Ugly fruits always be palmed off with some future date? We must try to figure something out.

We'll allow Melon this thread, but must banAnna.

I can ci trused up lemons, can you see them?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/10/2013 19:29:15

Why do we never have an Ugly Fruit month?


Per Don_1's excellent advice ~~~

Mid-to-Late-October is:
Ugly Fruit Weeks!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FEA794C27-0230-473B-883C-043EE041C866-523-00000039C1CA9CFA_zps943bbc05.jpg&hash=e561fb050838810d3f297bac5c0d0d49)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.smiley-lol.com%2Fsmiley%2Fbananas%2Fbanana201.gif&hash=fc0041174c5245bd4a4c3d089ab6d15e)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.smiley-lol.com%2Fsmiley%2Fbananas%2Fbanana201.gif&hash=fc0041174c5245bd4a4c3d089ab6d15e)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/10/2013 21:17:41

Full disclosure: I am a ***PC*** + iPhone user!


That's quite enough pho now.


Don_1, I simply wished to allay suspicions that I am a Mac user, therefore I could be potentially biased in picking Apple month [:)]

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/10/2013 22:08:41


[We] must banAnna.


So let's all prepare for:
 
November, 2013, which is:
Banana Pudding Lovers Month!

But if we ban Anna, then November is a waste of time -- and that's pudding it mildly!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/10/2013 06:01:31
Or shall we democratically put November to a Punning Thread vote? Suggestions are requested - voluntarily - no more dungeon coercion tactics -- by the end of October!

Possible Punning Thread November Monthly Observance

Adopt A Senior Pet Month
American & National Diabetes Month
American Indian Heritage Month (See also August)
Aviation History Month
Banana Pudding Lovers Month
Diabetic Eye Disease Month
Epilepsy Awareness Month
Family Stories Month
Gluten-Free Diet Awareness Month
Greens and Plantains Month
Historic Bridge Awareness Month
International Drum (Percussion) Month
Lung Cancer Awareness Month
Manatee Awareness Month
Movember
MADD's Tie One On For Safety Holiday Campaign (11/16-12/31)
Military Family Appreciation Month
National Adoption Month
National PPSI AIDS Awareness Month
National Alzheimer's Disease Month
National COPD Month
National Family Caregivers Month
National Georgia Pecan Month
National Home Care & Hospice Month
National Impotency Month
National Inspirational Role Models Month
National Life Writing Month
National Long-term Care Awareness Month
National Marrow Awareness Month
National Medical Science Liaison (MSL) Awareness & Appreciation Month
National Native American Heritage Month
National Family Literacy Month
National Novel Writing Month
National Peanut Butter Lovers Month
National Pet Cancer Awareness Month
National Pomegranate Month
National PPSI Aids Awareness Month
National Roasting Month
National Scholarship Month
Pancreatic Cancer Awareness Month
Plum and Pomegranate Month
Prematurity Awareness Month
PTA Healthy Lifestyles Month
Spinach and Squash Month
Sweet Potato Awareness Month (See also February)
NoSHAVEmber (US - Beard Month or Movember (Australia - Moustache Month )
Vegan Month
Worldwide Bereaved Siblings Month
World Sponge Month

If you don't care for ANY of the above, we can trot out daily and/or weekly observances, all brought to you by brownielocks.com [:)]

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 22/10/2013 19:51:42
Gosh, I thought there were only 12 months in a year.

I think National Novel Writing Month is a novel idea.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/10/2013 00:53:50
Gosh, I thought there were only 12 months in a year.

I think National Novel Writing Month is a novel idea.


Re. "12 months" -- at Punning Thread, mathematics, norms, etc. are usually thrown out the window. Take me as an example (I keep telling my wife that)...I'm thrown out of this place all the time... But I (somehow manage to) re-emerge from the shadows...

Donnah, I wrote a novel about a fellow who had a small garden. It didn't have much of a plot.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SimpleEngineer on 23/10/2013 10:56:57

Re. "12 months" -- at Punning Thread, mathematics, norms, etc. are usually thrown out the window. Take me as an example (I keep telling my wife that)...I'm thrown out of this place all the time... But I (somehow manage to) re-emerge from the shadows...

Donnah, I wrote a novel about a fellow who had a small garden. It didn't have much of a plot.

Its nice to have a seed of an idea though..

I was going to write a book about a broken knife, but it didnt really have a point, and my book about a short church sermon didnt have many chapters.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/10/2013 19:07:54

My book about a short church sermon didn't have many chapters.


What could be verse?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/10/2013 00:04:55

I think National Novel Writing Month is a novel idea.



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F3D685D4B-D7F2-4873-9EC3-51D68520E4AB-409-0000003F242B1CE8_zpsb82b8a83.jpg&hash=e3f8364182e26d6c8e9a5d773b1d31fe)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 25/10/2013 17:48:03

My book about a short church sermon didn't have many chapters.


What could be verse?


God knows.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/10/2013 22:37:04

My book about a short church sermon didn't have many chapters.


What could be verse?


God knows.


This is getting steeple.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 28/10/2013 01:13:35
Don't get cross.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SimpleEngineer on 28/10/2013 14:13:45
Aisle say these puns give me something to aspire to
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/10/2013 14:21:17

Don't get cross.


I'm not cross.

I just love crosswords.

In fact, I wish to be buried six down and three across.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/10/2013 14:34:03
Aisle say these puns give me something to aspire to

A recent Pew Study confirms this occurs frequently.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/10/2013 15:10:01

Don't get cross.

OK, I'll admit: you nailed it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 28/10/2013 17:45:14
I just kept hammering until I got it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/10/2013 21:34:28
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F8E9024A2-A4D3-4291-8055-CF9CA6AEAC79-187-0000000B71934FE2_zpsa7701f76.jpg&hash=e2597f9c186adc5901de70615aa0c442)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: alancalverd on 28/10/2013 22:40:37
Pointless, but rivetting nonetheless. 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/10/2013 02:34:41

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fphoto-14.gif&hash=dfd390f7ba567482a65bd456c80ee6f1)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/10/2013 14:20:36
happy halloween everyone!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.halloweenjoys.com%2Fanimated_gifs%2Fhalloween_animated_gifs_02.gif&hash=e426c12b8103e4c7e9c4063c4bd4596a)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 31/10/2013 18:17:02
Pointless, but rivetting nonetheless. 
At least you're not board.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/11/2013 03:32:43

At this rate, he will be chairing soon!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 01/11/2013 23:59:37
alancalverd for chairman of the (not) board!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/11/2013 01:41:15
I second the notion!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/11/2013 01:45:30
alancalverd for chairman of the (not) board!

I hope he's on board with the nomination!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 06/11/2013 19:59:06
I hope he didn't ship out.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SimpleEngineer on 07/11/2013 10:25:06
I've got a sinking feeling about this.. lets hope he is playing with an even deck
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: alancalverd on 07/11/2013 17:33:47
No, just displaying MASTery of the subject.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 07/11/2013 17:37:24
Glad you are on an even keel.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/11/2013 21:08:20
Sure he is.

See how well he navigates this thread!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/11/2013 21:27:50


I've got a sinking feeling about this...


Just sync your smartphone but don't ship out!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: alancalverd on 08/11/2013 23:13:12
We seem to be sailing close to the wind with this tack and much as I'd luff to go about my business I'd feel thwarted if I did so with no clew as to which port of call we might enter next. So let me be stern and stem the tide of bilge by pointing out that I am three sheets to the wind, as befits a tar on a friday, so I'll just cut adrift before anyone jibes about my inability to hold course. Aweigh, Master Bates!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/11/2013 18:43:07
We seem to be sailing close to the wind with this tack and much as I'd luff to go about my business I'd feel thwarted if I did so with no clew as to which port of call we might enter next. So let me be stern and stem the tide of bilge by pointing out that I am three sheets to the wind, as befits a tar on a friday, so I'll just cut adrift before anyone jibes about my inability to hold course. Aweigh, Master Bates!

These women are proud and happy to present alancalverd with The 2013 Sailing Pun Award!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F192EFF33-BDDF-4DF8-8CBB-AD9921FE5A68-251-0000000B6C0BB735_zps0045a959.jpg&hash=2f9142f5cd483d01137d3266399bdced)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/11/2013 08:44:25

I think National Novel Writing Month is a novel idea.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F18B4A39A-88A4-48D3-88B2-5999586C27B2-487-0000004D0E51E686_zps219abc50.jpg&hash=0a78f4b4fd2a618ddd2583890bf29e8f)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/11/2013 20:26:45


I think National Novel Writing Month is a novel idea.


Old romance novelists never die, they just run out of steam.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/11/2013 15:33:57
Cooee, 'tis I returned from the cold to annoy the pants off one and all.


Old romance novelists never die, they just run out of steam.

Julius & Mark Anthony..... They were old romans.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/11/2013 15:38:04
No, just displaying MASTery of the subject.

I say, you there with the mast, is it for sale?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/11/2013 15:42:16


I've got a sinking feeling about this...


Just sync your smartphone but don't ship out!


That's the trouble cell phone lines at sea, mine's cuttle the time.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/11/2013 15:46:22

I think National Novel Writing Month is a novel idea.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F18B4A39A-88A4-48D3-88B2-5999586C27B2-487-0000004D0E51E686_zps219abc50.jpg&hash=0a78f4b4fd2a618ddd2583890bf29e8f)




Ah! The pie chart, some say it was Florence Nightingale who invented it, but come on now, play fair, it was William, Bill (US = check) to his friends and the waitress who served him with the pie.

BILL ??? CHECK??? No that bit just don't work at all, do it?!?!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/11/2013 15:51:47
We seem to be sailing close to the wind with this tack and much as I'd luff to go about my business I'd feel thwarted if I did so with no clew as to which port of call we might enter next. So let me be stern and stem the tide of bilge by pointing out that I am three sheets to the wind, as befits a tar on a friday, so I'll just cut adrift before anyone jibes about my inability to hold course. Aweigh, Master Bates!

These women are proud and happy to present alancalverd with The 2013 Sailing Pun Award!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F192EFF33-BDDF-4DF8-8CBB-AD9921FE5A68-251-0000000B6C0BB735_zps0045a959.jpg&hash=2f9142f5cd483d01137d3266399bdced)



Shouldn't that be "sailing punt award"?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: alancalverd on 18/11/2013 17:53:43
Oh Buoy! I'll take all four belles, thanks, though I may have to heave two in order to go about my business. Get my drift? Knot that I can fathom what this is all about, of course.   
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/11/2013 01:13:48
You mean, off course?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/11/2013 08:55:53
Oh Buoy! I'll take all four belles, thanks, though I may have to heave two in order to go about my business. Get my drift? Knot that I can fathom what this is all about, of course.   

I am led to understand that one of these four belles is in fact your father's sister and that in the past she made regular appearances in 'top shelf' magazines. Do these facts mean that she is a sextaunt?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/11/2013 08:57:30
You mean, off course?

He does appear to be all at sea.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: alancalverd on 19/11/2013 17:53:56
Do these facts mean that she is a sex  taunt?

No, that's more like a jibe at the size of your cox, or some other naughty-call insult.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/11/2013 05:54:46
No, just displaying MASTery of the subject.

I say, you there with the mast, is it for sale?

I think he will agree to sell if you make a firm offer to buoy.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/11/2013 05:59:41
Do these facts mean that she is a sex  taunt?

No, that's more like a jibe at the size of your cox, or some other naughty-call insult.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fphoto-14.gif&hash=dfd390f7ba567482a65bd456c80ee6f1)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/11/2013 06:11:00
Is this naval month or novel month...anvil vee go on forever???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/11/2013 06:12:21
Navel [e.g., gazing] Month is another option, I suppose.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SimpleEngineer on 20/11/2013 10:49:27
on the button there.. waist not want not..
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/11/2013 11:23:58
Do these facts mean that she is a sex  taunt?

No, that's more like a jibe at the size of your cox, or some other naughty-call insult.

That's no way to conduct yourself if you want me to be your first mate.

You will have to pay me dearly now, so get out your purse err I mean wallet.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/11/2013 11:54:33
No, just displaying MASTery of the subject.

I say, you there with the mast, is it for sale?

I think he will agree to sell if you make a firm offer to buoy.



Please don't wax me around the head with a floater, especially if its brown and while, in the harbour, the boats wane with the tide.


Permit me to explain myself:
Buoy = floater - floater/brown = brown floater, enough said.
wax = wacks, also wax and wane of the tide
boats wane - boatswain = higgs = Higgs Bosun = blood coming out of my ears = I've overdone it again.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/11/2013 11:58:11
on the button there.. waist not want not..

..... or a stitch in time.

Perhaps I should explain again, after all, I'm confusing myself!!!
Waist knot = stitch
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Dave B on 20/11/2013 21:42:20
Does the evidence in a stitch-up hang by a thread?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: SimpleEngineer on 21/11/2013 08:35:15
knotty problem there.. although I think the subject has been tangled somewhat
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/11/2013 16:11:31
Knot a problem.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/11/2013 16:17:40
No, just displaying MASTery of the subject.

I say, you there with the mast, is it for sale?

I think he will agree to sell if you make a firm offer to buoy.



Please don't wax me around the head with a floater, especially if its brown and while, in the harbour, the boats wane with the tide.


Permit me to explain myself:
Buoy = floater - floater/brown = brown floater, enough said.
wax = wacks, also wax and wane of the tide
boats wane - boatswain = higgs = Higgs Bosun = blood coming out of my ears = I've overdone it again.



Buoy, does Don_1 ever deserve his Award [see pic below] for all that float work.

But it's not for sail!


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2FADBD6D1C-CFE7-428D-816B-6310C0691F32_1.jpg&hash=40d6d2908107b56f068f80d09bdcbbfb)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/11/2013 20:56:33
All this talk of sewing is giving me the needle.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/11/2013 21:03:03
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2FADBD6D1C-CFE7-428D-816B-6310C0691F32_1.jpg&hash=40d6d2908107b56f068f80d09bdcbbfb)

I hate to think what that brown stuff in the water is. Whatever it may be, its big and seems to be attacking the marker buoy. If its a brown floater, whatever did it must have been huge. It must have had a whale of a time doing it.

Could it have been an accident, or was it done on porpoise?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/11/2013 21:17:49
knotty problem there.. although I think the subject has been tangled somewhat

 Knotty, ash (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knotty_Ash) a nuisance.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/11/2013 21:19:25
Does the evidence in a stitch-up hang by a thread?

Yar never know.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 23/11/2013 00:29:08
Just like the boogie, man.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/11/2013 01:50:04
Just like the boogie, man.

The Boogie Man??? Isn't that Demo?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/11/2013 02:56:59
I'll never tell.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/11/2013 23:15:29
knotty problem there.. although I think the subject has been tangled somewhat

 Knotty, ash (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Knotty_Ash) a nuisance.

Dis might lead us to di strictest kind of knotty Liverpool problems ever seen before!




Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/11/2013 00:15:31
knotty problem there.. although I think the subject has been tangled somewhat

Knotty, ash (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/[b) a nuisance.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F129F6EFB-15C3-453F-A9EA-E666D5C9ADDD.jpg&hash=57335ba50733cddd7e35ccdaa23bc7b0)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/11/2013 15:04:58
She who must be obeyed is no good at knitting or sewing, you can bank on that. (http://www.bankofengland.co.uk/about/Pages/default.aspx)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/11/2013 15:08:25
So sorry, that pun was a bit on the cheap side (http://www.londontown.com/LondonStreets/cheapside_9cd.html/).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/11/2013 15:14:43
In the jewelery shop:

Which one would Sir care to look at?

That one on the very end, if you please.

Ah! The far ring Don (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Farringdon,_London) was looking at.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 29/11/2013 05:35:43
Just looking, not fingering?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/11/2013 21:14:22
In the jewelery shop:

Which one would Sir care to look at?

That one on the very end, if you please.

Ah! The far ring Don (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Farringdon,_London) was looking at.
Just looking, not fingering?


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2FF0CC04E7-3E56-4054-9E00-48246CEE07CC.jpg&hash=6407a792c37fac07ba8fde4901fb054d)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/12/2013 14:39:29
So sorry, that pun was a bit on the cheap side (http://www.londontown.com/LondonStreets/cheapside_9cd.html/).

Is there an expensive side?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/12/2013 18:10:56
In the jewelery shop:

Which one would Sir care to look at?

That one on the very end, if you please.

Ah! The far ring Don (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Farringdon,_London) was looking at.
Just looking, not fingering?


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2FF0CC04E7-3E56-4054-9E00-48246CEE07CC.jpg&hash=6407a792c37fac07ba8fde4901fb054d)

Will you stop hanging teatowels there!!!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flakelandcamel.scene7.com%2Fis%2Fimage%2FLakelandCamel%2F20005_1%3F%24800%24&hash=37eee704b970b46a34b2334a6dda48ef)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/12/2013 18:15:32
So sorry, that pun was a bit on the cheap side (http://www.londontown.com/LondonStreets/cheapside_9cd.html/).

Is there an expensive side?

Oh yes, so expensive and snobbish people even put a hat on their Garden (http://hatton-garden-london.com/)

Not to mention dear park (http://www.olddeerpark.co.uk/)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/12/2013 22:02:57
So sorry, that pun was a bit on the cheap side (http://www.londontown.com/LondonStreets/cheapside_9cd.html/).

Is there an expensive side?

Oh yes, so expensive and snobbish people even put a hat on their Garden (http://hatton-garden-london.com/)



What do you call the Garden Police?

Lawn and Order.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/12/2013 11:59:55
I had to call the police to my garden because some of the flowers were stalking me, they just wouldn't leaf me alone. A detective rooted out the offenders and scent them to jail.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/12/2013 05:56:32
I had to call the police to my garden because some of the flowers were stalking me, they just wouldn't leaf me alone. A detective rooted out the offenders and scent them to jail.

Don_1, only thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/12/2013 10:58:42
I had to call the police to my garden because some of the flowers were stalking me, they just wouldn't leaf me alone. A detective rooted out the offenders and scent them to jail.

Don_1, only thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.


No shortage of that around here!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/12/2013 00:39:55


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fphoto-14.gif&hash=dfd390f7ba567482a65bd456c80ee6f1)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/12/2013 04:51:33
December, 2013 is:
National Tie Month

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F92A3001C-B25D-45A2-9725-AD6281A32570.jpg&hash=03be3e60800782a493e19cba02b116fa)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/12/2013 12:36:55
Will the President be making an appearance today?

Aye ham shure yoou vill be vlad to hchear zat zer pchreesident vill be hcheer to ansver yoour qveschuns schortlee. Hche iss jusst putin on hchiss tie.




End of part one.     to be continued....
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/12/2013 12:41:04
Should we bow to this month then? I bet they'll be pleased in Windsor (http://www.tie-a-tie.net/windsor.html), well, at least half of them might be.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/12/2013 12:45:41
Part two......

Is the President coming or not?

Pchleeese be payschunt, hche iss jusst dohing up hchiss boot laces.


End of part two.     to be continued.......
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/12/2013 12:47:30
I entered a competition to see who could do up their neckwear fastest, but it was a tie.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/12/2013 12:52:57
Part three.


Hchi am veery soorey ghentleemans, za Pchrezident vill noht be ayble to zee yoou tohday hafterhall.


I knew it, we've been stitched up like a kipper.


The End.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/12/2013 13:05:07
The big problem with the world these days is nepotism and the 'old school tie' network.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/12/2013 13:28:03
In 2011 in Germany, the tie wearer of the year received a stainless steel tie made by......

ThyssenKrupp. (http://www.thyssenkrupp.com/en/presse/art_detail.html&eid=TKBase_1324286458178_1136804077)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/12/2013 14:19:36
"How To Tie A Tie" Necktie

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA8DDDE42-FE12-4C22-A8D6-1D7D1BA157BC.jpg&hash=77cf6280acd4a1c3e32e19e984b8c057)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/12/2013 14:27:35
I entered a competition to see who could do up their neckwear fastest, but it was a tie.

Don_1, a visiting dictator was really upset about your neckwear competition tie.

What a tie rant.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/12/2013 15:03:34

Hche iss jusst putin on hchiss tie.


Or iss hche jusst...



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FD072EE06-9352-4837-B27C-63C1FAF50361_3.jpg&hash=82b456d7713cfbf03ad96a6c32bcad3f)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/12/2013 03:19:59

Is the President coming or not?

Pchleeese be payschunt, hche iss jusst dohing up hchiss boot laces.

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Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/12/2013 05:09:30

Hche iss jusst putin on hchiss tie.


Or iss hche jusst...



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Well, I can't top that.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/12/2013 05:15:50
Ah! Good old Fred Astair, they don't make 'em like that any more, it seems to be escalat or be damned.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/12/2013 01:09:06
Ah! Good old Fred Astair, they don't make 'em like that any more, it seems to be escalat or be damned.

I had amnesia and couldn't remember how to walk up the stairs, so I had to go back and learn step by step.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/12/2013 10:08:58
I'm surprised you remember that.

Did you ask your therapist "Am knees 'ere the best option when stair climbing?"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/12/2013 10:11:11
I don't want to bring back painful memories, so I'll take care to tread carefully and try not to stare at you.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/12/2013 10:15:31
I thought we needed a young lad 'ere to help Demo climb, so I rung the hospital.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/12/2013 18:52:47
Ah! Good old Fred Astair, they don't make 'em like that any more, it seems to be escalat or be damned.

I had amnesia and couldn't remember how to walk up the stairs, so I had to go back and learn step by step.
I'm surprised you remember that.

Did you ask your therapist "Am knees 'ere the best option when stair climbing?"

I did.

My therapist's reply:

"Forget it!"



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/12/2013 19:00:14
I thought we needed a young lad 'ere to help Demo climb, so I rung the hospital.

This reminds me of the time when I was up high on a ladder and I saw a beautiful girl below.

I fell for her.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/12/2013 22:48:57

I fell for her.


I hope you didn't damage your ardour!!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/12/2013 22:50:20

I fell for her.


I hope you didn't damage your ardour!!!!

So very sorry, that's got nothing to do with punning, that's just plain & simple smut.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/12/2013 22:55:58
That's perfectly all right.

My ardor is intact [;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/12/2013 22:58:13
Ego: only slightly bruised [:)]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/12/2013 23:36:13
I thought we needed a young lad 'ere to help Demo climb, so I rung the hospital.

Hmmm. That has a familiar ring to it.

I'm not sure if I've heard that hospital chime before, but it rings a bell.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/12/2013 23:54:16
Ring Ring!

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Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/12/2013 00:39:44
Good gracious! Its a jellyphone. Must be for the hard of hearing............
"Look, you'll have to speak up, I'm a triffle deaf."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/12/2013 00:42:05
That's perfectly all right.

My ardor is intact [;D]

My ardour is in tact too, but it is a tad softer these days.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/12/2013 05:38:10
That's perfectly all right.

My ardor is intact [;D]

My ardour is in tact too, but it is a tad softer these days.

I once got hit in the head with a can of soda.

I was lucky it was a soft drink.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/12/2013 15:26:03
So da can be bad for your teeth.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/12/2013 16:45:27
ENGLISH:ENGLISH TRANSLATION 101


That's perfectly all right.

My ardor [US] is intact

My ardour [UK] is in tact...

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/12/2013 17:10:50
So da can be bad for your teeth.

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Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/12/2013 23:08:37
I had a soft drink while catching up on the ironing.

It was soda pressing.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 08/12/2013 23:25:25
Ah! Good old Fred Astair, they don't make 'em like that any more, it seems to be escalat or be damned.

Thanks Don, that pun gave me a real lift.

Did you know if you give a duck soda, they become forever pheasant?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/12/2013 00:07:45
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Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/12/2013 11:23:55

Did you know if you give a duck soda, they become forever pheasant?


Yes indeed, but they don't half grouse about it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/12/2013 11:36:51
I had a soft drink while catching up on the ironing.

It was soda pressing.




I hope you met all the chalanges this requires and when you were done you put it in the airing cupboard. You'd better have made a good job of it, Mrs Demo will not be pleased if there are steel creases in the clothes.

The last time I did some ironing, I was getting it all wrong and began to sweat profusely. The missus hurled expletives at me, saying "You're a tit an' u hum". She then gave a clip around the ear and my arse a nick.

This was blatant husband beating, so I called the coppers.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/12/2013 11:53:54
Ah! Good old Fred Astair, they don't make 'em like that any more, it seems to be escalat or be damned.

Thanks Don, that pun gave me a real lift.


I see it as my job to elevat or be damned.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/12/2013 11:55:46
I had a soft drink while catching up on the ironing.

It was soda pressing.




Tip for the day.

If you feel depressed you need deep rest.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/12/2013 17:42:17
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Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/12/2013 20:34:42
I had a soft drink while catching up on the ironing.

It was soda pressing.




I hope you met all the chalanges this requires and when you were done you put it in the airing cupboard. You'd better have made a good job of it, Mrs Demo will not be pleased if there are steel creases in the clothes.

The last time I did some ironing, I was getting it all wrong and began to sweat profusely. The missus hurled expletives at me, saying "You're a tit an' u hum". She then gave a clip around the ear and my arse a nick.

This was blatant husband beating, so I called the coppers.

Don_1 wins yet another Irony Ironing Award!! <applause cue to freebie audience!>

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Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/12/2013 23:52:37

Mrs Demo will not be pleased if there are steel creases in the clothes.


Mrs Demo bought this drum for a great price, it was a steel.

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Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/12/2013 14:10:23
Curses! Mrs Demo beat me to it. Now I feel ensnared into replying. Of course you ket tle sorts of drums down tim pani alley, where I understand Mrs Demo aquired this drum. After some time browsing she said
"I've cym ball the drums available and now, as per cousin Cedric's advice have made my choice."
As she entered the shop, the sales man said,
"Hi, can I help you?"
Mrs Demo said,
"Hi that drum there, I would like to buy it for my old git husband. He will be playing it at a farewell party for his sister before she goes to the West Indies."
The salesman said,
"Jamaica?"
"No," retorted Mrs Demo, "She's going of her own accord."
"How did you find us Mrs Demo?"
"It was easy, I thought oil look you up on my tom-tom."
"Why don't you gar min to the office while wrap the drum?" Better still, I'll put it in a box. We don't the drum to roll away when you put it down.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/12/2013 21:01:01
Curses! Mrs Demo beat me to it. Now I feel ensnared into replying. Of course you ket tle sorts of drums down tim pani alley, where I understand Mrs Demo aquired this drum. After some time browsing she said
"I've cym ball the drums available and now, as per cousin Cedric's advice have made my choice."
As she entered the shop, the sales man said,
"Hi, can I help you?"
Mrs Demo said,
"Hi that drum there, I would like to buy it for my old git husband. He will be playing it at a farewell party for his sister before she goes to the West Indies."
The salesman said,
"Jamaica?"
"No," retorted Mrs Demo, "She's going of her own accord."
"How did you find us Mrs Demo?"
"It was easy, I thought oil look you up on my tom-tom."
"Why don't you gar min to the office while wrap the drum?" Better still, I'll put it in a box. We don't the drum to roll away when you put it down.

Don_1 wins this T-Shirt Award for Punning Excellence in the Drum Banging Dept.!

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Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/12/2013 07:03:13

As per cousin Cedric's advice I have made my choice."


The consequence of playing drums often is re-percussions.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/12/2013 07:22:55

"Jamaica?"
"No," retorted Mrs Demo, "She's going of her own accord."


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F2013-09%2FD4513A11-2026-4F94-AAA0-F7283F6508A9.gif&hash=b98feaf33aeddeb1718e407fadd0da0e)





Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/12/2013 22:36:32
Tomorrow, December 20, is:
National Sangria Day
http://www.nationalsangriaday.com/

Sangria is a blood color. (Sangre means blood!)

We need math, not Sangria! (That's how to get an A+ blood reading) :)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 19/12/2013 22:58:05
If you pass out during a blood transfusion, you need rhesusitation. Then people send you a card(io) and flowers in a vase(cular).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/12/2013 23:21:45
If you pass out during a blood transfusion, you need rhesusitation. Then people send you a card(io) and flowers in a vase(cular).

Some cardiologists are heartless.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/12/2013 10:43:14
My chiropodist is foot loose & fancy free. Alas 'free' does not, however, describe his treatment.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: alancalverd on 23/12/2013 17:01:56
Does he play footnotes on a shoehorn? Or is that a load of old cobblers?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/12/2013 22:27:23
My chiropodist is foot loose & fancy free. Alas 'free' does not, however, describe his treatment.

How absurd! He expects you to foot the bill???
[:0]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/12/2013 04:30:48
Does he play footnotes on a shoehorn? Or is that a load of old cobblers?

A Demonic Cat Cobbler

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Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/12/2013 08:08:20
My chiropodist is foot loose & fancy free. Alas 'free' does not, however, describe his treatment.

How absurd! He expects you to foot the bill???
[:0]

Not only that, he expects me to toe the line.

I don't want to play ball with him any more, hee'l only let me down.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/12/2013 08:09:38
Does he play footnotes on a shoehorn? Or is that a load of old cobblers?

No, no, its quite true, and very soleful he plays to boot.

His music can be very toe nail.

He does expect other players to keep in step with him.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/12/2013 08:18:55
He has always said, his favourite composer is Schubert.

He will always play a piece by him toe cap off a gig.

Yes, he is, without doubt, a very straight laced person.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/12/2013 08:38:14
Eye let you add to the above puns as you see fit, just don't poke your tongue out at me.

As for myself, I'm off for the Xmas holidays to restock my pun cupboard. Though there may be many a pun lurking in the dark corners, the fact is, they don't last forever.

So I bid you a happy Xmas holiday and a puntificacious new year. May your God(s) be with you.

Hohoho...........
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 24/12/2013 21:18:26
Arch you putting a stocking up for Santa?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/12/2013 07:37:23

Arch you putting a stocking up for Santa?


I think Santa has riverfront property in Brazil.

All my presents came from Amazon this year.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/12/2013 21:58:06
My chiropodist is foot loose & fancy free. Alas 'free' does not, however, describe his treatment.

How absurd! He expects you to foot the bill???
[:0]

Not only that, he expects me to toe the line.

I don't want to play ball with him any more, hee'l only let me down.

We all kneel to your decision!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/12/2013 22:07:39
Does he play footnotes on a shoe horn? Or is that a load of old cobblers?


He has always said, his favourite composer is Schubert.


But they say that Schumann is da mann.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 31/12/2013 20:22:01
My friend, Diatrist, doesn't have a note to his name.  Po' Diatrist.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/01/2014 01:46:40
My friend, Diatrist, doesn't have a note to his name.  Po' Diatrist.

Po'Diatrist = Convicted Saudi shop lifter who must eat from a gazunder.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/01/2014 01:49:32
Does he play footnotes on a shoe horn? Or is that a load of old cobblers?


He has always said, his favourite composer is Schubert.


But they say that Schumann is da mann.




Schu maker
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/01/2014 01:53:08
Quote from Paris:
"Aye kill his heel".
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/01/2014 01:54:57
Happy new year to one & all.

Now, let's all have a new year punch up!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/01/2014 02:13:22

Happy new year to one & all.

Now, let's all have a new year punch up!


My new year's resolution - -  as a bankrupt gardener - - is  to forget the past and rely on the fuchsia.

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Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/01/2014 13:29:09

Happy new year to one & all.

Now, let's all have a new year punch up!


My new year's resolution - -  as a bankrupt gardener - - is  to forget the past and rely on the fuchsia.

"Hiya dranger"
"Hiya Cynthia"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/01/2014 13:32:33
My new year resolution is to make more glue, and I intend on sticking to it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/01/2014 21:46:09
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Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/01/2014 21:48:59

My new year resolution is to make more glue, and I intend on sticking to it.


I didn't tell Mrs. Demo that I ate some of that tasty glue you made.

My lips are sealed.





Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/01/2014 22:05:14
January, 2014 is:
Get Organized Month

Breaking News - Angry Villagers Organize. Storm White House.

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Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/01/2014 03:14:36

"Hiya dranger"


Hydrangea quercifolia - - 'Harmony'

 
or


Golden Needle Hydrangea - Hydrangea aspera - - 'Golden Needle'

WHICH ONE?????
[;D]





 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 15/01/2014 06:29:58
Did you hear the one about the Dendrite? It had an Axon to grind!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/01/2014 16:12:19

"Hiya dranger"


Hydrangea quercifolia - - 'Harmony'

 
or


Golden Needle Hydrangea - Hydrangea aspera - - 'Golden Needle'

WHICH ONE?????
[;D]


As pera hydrageas go, these two are well suited.

Despite all the rain, walking through the woods, I noticed there's now drops around.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/01/2014 16:24:27
Working in Paris last week at the Musée national de la Marine, I am rué to report that my best pun effort was (looking toward the Eiffel Tower), If that was made of sponge & jelly would it be called the triffel tower?

I think I'm going inSeine.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/01/2014 16:29:45
By the way, can anyone enlighten me? Why could I find no mention of Trafalgar & Nelson at the Musée national de la Marine???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/01/2014 05:20:38

I think I'm going inSeine.



If you jump off a Paris bridge, you're in Seine.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/01/2014 05:37:58

Did you hear the one about the Dendrite? It had an Axon to grind!


Q. What is a good pick-up line an axon terminal can use on a dendrite?

A. "Let's connect!"



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 16/01/2014 08:30:54
Good luck celling that line!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/01/2014 04:12:24
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Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/01/2014 04:22:38

Despite all the rain, walking through the woods, I noticed there's now drops around.


When I forecast snow in the middle of July, people think I am a bit of a flake.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/01/2014 03:10:04

As pera hydrageas go, these two are well suited.


As per annoy-ya takes over, these two eventually will come to believe that they are *not* well suited, but are both convinced deep down that each hydragea is diabolically plotting against the other!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/01/2014 04:52:58

Working in Paris last week at the Musée national de la Marine, I am rué to report that my best pun effort was (looking toward the Eiffel Tower), If that was made of sponge & jelly would it be called the triffel tower?


A jelly truck and a biscuit truck collided yesterday - police are a trifle concerned.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/01/2014 04:55:57

Good luck celling that line!


I was fired from my job selling amplifiers.

I didn't achieve the sufficient volume of sales.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 19/01/2014 19:55:01

Working in Paris last week at the Musée national de la Marine, I am rué to report that my best pun effort was (looking toward the Eiffel Tower), If that was made of sponge & jelly would it be called the triffel tower?


A jelly truck and a biscuit truck collided yesterday - police are a trifle concerned.
Which truck creamed the other?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 19/01/2014 21:19:43

Working in Paris last week at the Musée national de la Marine, I am rué to report that my best pun effort was (looking toward the Eiffel Tower), If that was made of sponge & jelly would it be called the triffel tower?


A jelly truck and a biscuit truck collided yesterday - police are a trifle concerned.

I heard it was a bomb, alas. Ka BOOM!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 19/01/2014 21:21:11
Did it happen near puddington?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/01/2014 22:58:54

Working in Paris last week at the Musée national de la Marine, I am rué to report that my best pun effort was (looking toward the Eiffel Tower), If that was made of sponge & jelly would it be called the triffel tower?


A jelly truck and a biscuit truck collided yesterday - police are a trifle concerned.
Which truck creamed the other?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fphoto-14.gif&hash=dfd390f7ba567482a65bd456c80ee6f1)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 19/01/2014 23:04:15
Did it happen near puddington?
Is that in the des(s)ert?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/01/2014 13:53:13
Sweet thought(s), Donnah! [:)]

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/01/2014 06:28:55

Working in Paris last week at the Musée national de la Marine, I am rué to report that my best pun effort was (looking toward the Eiffel Tower), If that was made of sponge & jelly would it be called the triffel tower?


A jelly truck and a biscuit truck collided yesterday - police are a trifle concerned.

I heard it was a bomb, alas. Ka BOOM!

Did it happen near puddington?

This is some pretty bomb...tapioca.

That's one way of pudding it!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 21/01/2014 22:56:20
Yesterday my Venus Flytrap choked.... I had to give it the Hemlock maneuver!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/01/2014 02:57:48
Yesterday my Venus Flytrap choked.... I had to give it the Hemlock maneuver!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F8DD04640-E399-47D5-9816-5867C85341D3.jpg&hash=3d6a587f166708ae9fffb4021f51cf56)

I'm moving!
Demo

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 23/01/2014 03:12:25
 A rather shortlived species of gay dinosaur.... Tyrannosoreass Rex!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/01/2014 01:37:54

Tyrannosoreass Rex


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FE09FCD3A-9964-48A6-AE14-0C54C2238D6B.jpg&hash=167f3a2e7ae0d7f668a8f2923f1f1e73)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: RD on 24/01/2014 01:50:55
Tree-Rex ...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi4.mirror.co.uk%2Fincoming%2Farticle754895.ece%2FALTERNATES%2Fs615%2FA%2520property%2520manager%2520was%2520left%2520stunned%2520after%2520stumbling%2520across%2520this%2520tree%2520that%2520looks%2520like%2520a%2520giant%2520DINOSAUR-754895&hash=82b851660b89c503de11fdc013baf2bc)
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/dinosaur-discovered-in-norfolk-or-at-least-a-tree-755249
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/01/2014 05:00:16
Nice pic, RD!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/01/2014 16:58:15
January, 2014, is:
International Creativity Month


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F383BC33B-A53A-4287-8B5E-3AE39DF623A8.jpg&hash=2c6e786a3188cb5f43108f060bdf1963)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/01/2014 17:00:56
Do creative weather forecasters do a lot of brain storming?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/01/2014 15:27:10
Do creative weather forecasters do a lot of brain storming?


By thunder they do and lightening quick at that.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/01/2014 15:27:52
Tree-Rex ...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi4.mirror.co.uk%2Fincoming%2Farticle754895.ece%2FALTERNATES%2Fs615%2FA%2520property%2520manager%2520was%2520left%2520stunned%2520after%2520stumbling%2520across%2520this%2520tree%2520that%2520looks%2520like%2520a%2520giant%2520DINOSAUR-754895&hash=82b851660b89c503de11fdc013baf2bc)
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/dinosaur-discovered-in-norfolk-or-at-least-a-tree-755249

That's treemendous
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/01/2014 15:37:23
A rather shortlived species of gay dinosaur.... Tyrannosoreass Rex!


Terrance, the fella who was re-tiling our kitchen wall was good at his job, but rather short sighted. "Pterry,dactile is cracked." I told him.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/01/2014 15:43:12
 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/01/2014 22:16:27
[ Invalid Attachment ]

Overheard in med school - 'I learned about the colon through the process of elimination.'

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/01/2014 02:28:53
Do creative weather forecasters do a lot of brain storming?


By thunder they do and lightning quick at that.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB6E53045-7607-4FC4-9A26-9D90B7468942_1.jpg&hash=d5c1205e821cc00b5893b513a1293160)

Played at weather forecasting conferences?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/01/2014 04:25:43
January, 2014, is:
International Creativity Month


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F383BC33B-A53A-4287-8B5E-3AE39DF623A8.jpg&hash=2c6e786a3188cb5f43108f060bdf1963)


Do all bakers use pie charts in their business plans and models?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/01/2014 11:23:57

Do all bakers use pie charts in their business plans and models?


Only if they are old tarts with makeup caked on their faces. The younger less crusty ones who no longer live for yeasterday tend to soak up modern technology like a sponge. Though it may cost them a good deal of dough, it usually proves to be the better option.

Yea, yea, yeah! wheatever you say. Have you been drinking? Are you a little tipsy?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/01/2014 11:39:52
Q. What type of shoes do bakers wear?

A. Loafers.


Q. How do female bakers wear their hair?

A. In a bun.


Q. What do bakers do in their spare time?

A. Flour arranging.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/01/2014 00:36:08

Q. What type of shoes do bakers wear?

A. Loafers.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F223A796C-8606-407E-971A-B561CC2ACF08_2.jpg&hash=84ff0d802d3ab54c4df8d13b5d83315d)


Q. How do female bakers wear their hair?

A. In a bun.


If you have sticky buns you shouldn't put pants on.


Q. What do bakers do in their spare time?

A. Flour arranging.


When baking dog biscuits, be sure to use collie flour!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/01/2014 00:47:03

Do all bakers use pie charts in their business plans and models?


Only if they are old tarts with makeup caked on their faces. The younger less crusty ones who no longer live for yeasterday tend to soak up modern technology like a sponge. Though it may cost them a good deal of dough, it usually proves to be the better option.

Yea, yea, yeah! wheatever you say. Have you been drinking? Are you a little tipsy?

For Don_1!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F73F50339-B07A-423A-AFDD-E63B73B83B6B.png&hash=b6daa96c886f55eaad6624def9fbddf3)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/02/2014 08:12:31

January, 2014, is:
International Creativity Month


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F4370FF16-DC2D-4B61-948E-1D9F867D09CC.jpg&hash=b42230c6db7c74289f8898b37fe9c69e)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/02/2014 00:37:45

January, 2014, is:
International Creativity Month


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F834177B7-5EA8-4ED6-8502-2CB4B69BBE48.jpg&hash=2763d034fa15c37c3ef4ecc48fa05e01)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/02/2014 03:43:21
February, 2014 is:
Dog Training Education Month
http://www.dog-obedience-training-review.com/c/february-dog-training-education-month



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F12DA41CA-2B20-455D-AD28-B1590C9DC88B_1.jpg&hash=2aca3d708eb0d010152a786d8e53d3c1)


I trained my dog to hunt for underground mushrooms but now he's more truffle than he's worth.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/02/2014 12:35:20
Toilet humour?

 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/02/2014 20:16:19
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F2013-09%2FD4513A11-2026-4F94-AAA0-F7283F6508A9.gif&hash=b98feaf33aeddeb1718e407fadd0da0e)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 04/02/2014 00:27:47
Toilet humor? Well, a few years back, Johnny Carson (yes, I'm that old) had to sue to persuade a Porta-Potty outfit not to use Heeere's Johnny! as their business name. 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 04/02/2014 00:39:48
I'm thinking there may be considerable resistance from the Catholic community if anyone were to try and start a Porta-Potty business called Vati-Can!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 04/02/2014 00:49:26
More creatively, I would opt for Obamas original campaign slogan as the ultimate, the YesWe-Can!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 04/02/2014 01:00:54
Can you think of any others?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: RD on 04/02/2014 05:21:14
Toilet humor? Well, a few years back, Johnny Carson (yes, I'm that old) had to sue to persuade a Porta-Potty outfit not to use Heeere's Johnny! as their business name. 

He should have sued like Chubby did ... http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-21471967
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 04/02/2014 05:53:11
Hah! That's hilarious RD!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 04/02/2014 17:59:00
He should have sued like Chubby did ... http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-21471967

Hey wait a minute! I looked at the link RD.... "Rock'n'roll singer Chubby Checker is suing HP over an app that used his name as a euphemism for penis size. The Chubby Checker app that appeared on websites for Palm OS devices claimed to guess the intimate measurement based on shoe size. Lawyers acting for the singer are seeking $500 million in compensation, saying the app has done irreparable damage to his reputation."

I don't understand, if the size of ones manhood corresponds to ones shoe size....

Wouldn't that have enhanced his reputation?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpicasion.com%2Fpic76%2F4dbed4f833cd1ee85957bf95b949f0b7.gif&hash=c72f33e70182078924ccf9104d3d0a49)

You have to admit, that mans got a lot of sole!.... I think if he wanted a job as the spokesperson for Viagra he'd be a real shoe in!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/02/2014 18:14:49
I'm thinking there may be considerable resistance from the Catholic community if anyone were to try and start a Porta-Potty business called Vati-Can!

No resistance.

As long as it's clean and  uses wholly water (no impure elements).

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 04/02/2014 22:01:55
I'm thinking there may be considerable resistance from the Catholic community if anyone were to try and start a Porta-Potty business called Vati-Can!

No resistance.

As long as it's clean and  uses wholly water (no impure elements).

I think you may be over anal-ylzing it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 04/02/2014 22:05:56
We really need to look at the end result.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/02/2014 22:49:47
I'm thinking there may be considerable resistance from the Catholic community if anyone were to try and start a Porta-Potty business called Vati-Can!

No resistance.

As long as it's clean and  uses wholly water (no impure elements).

I think you may be over anal-ylzing it.

You're right: overanalysis can lead to paralysis.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/02/2014 22:52:59
We really need to look at the end result.

To me the end result of a can-do attitude is positively candid.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/02/2014 23:01:28
He should have sued like Chubby did ... http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-21471967

Hey wait a minute! I looked at the link RD.... "Rock'n'roll singer Chubby Checker is suing HP over an app that used his name as a euphemism for penis size. The Chubby Checker app that appeared on websites for Palm OS devices claimed to guess the intimate measurement based on shoe size. Lawyers acting for the singer are seeking $500 million in compensation, saying the app has done irreparable damage to his reputation."

I don't understand, if the size of ones manhood corresponds to ones shoe size....

Wouldn't that have enhanced his reputation?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpicasion.com%2Fpic76%2F4dbed4f833cd1ee85957bf95b949f0b7.gif&hash=c72f33e70182078924ccf9104d3d0a49)

You have to admit, that mans got a lot of sole!.... I think if he wanted a job as the spokesperson for Viagra he'd be a real shoe in!

Aemilius wins this Checkers Punning Award!

(Automatic Checkers Player -- battery not included!)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2725ECF0-D20D-4362-A460-2B08870042A0.gif&hash=cbb785aec13cf5c49dbd744c4837f5ae)



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 05/02/2014 04:14:18
Surprising really in view of my checkered past.... I feel like such a heel!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/02/2014 20:59:19

Checkers was invented starting at square one.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/02/2014 21:55:36
A rather shortlived species of gay dinosaur.... Tyrannosoreass Rex!


Terrance, the fella who was re-tiling our kitchen wall was good at his job, but rather short sighted. "Pterry,dactile is cracked." I told him.

Terrance replied: "Look, Dino - er, I mean Don_1, sorry, but birds like us need to stick together...and not accuse each other of being a craock o' tile!"


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F9447A3C3-7274-496E-B425-5AC6955A7B88.jpg&hash=5e6d25793486ae4bd9a9140592e05028)


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F6E09B032-20AB-4953-8C63-FB844A78439A.jpg&hash=0e62d2e4fbf28051fc019ae398ae72b3)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/02/2014 22:15:40

I feel like such a heel!


Don't!

You're always toegether with us in improving the legwork of this thread!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 05/02/2014 22:32:37
Hah! I sense a running theme developing here.... with 278428 views this thread already has quite a footprint!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/02/2014 02:11:10
Hah! I sense a running theme developing here.... with 278428 views this thread already has quite a footprint!

I can't recall the last time I did any running, but I've been jogging my memory.

Memory Fail
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0266CF26-D47E-4336-8DEE-408D024AA4F4.jpg&hash=52a9ec7ffef21e5656d380b480c43a02)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/02/2014 04:21:56
Toilet humour?

 [ Invalid Attachment ]

Should we eliminate (pun intended) toilet humor?

Or do we need to have a birthday potty celebration?[:)]

RSVP

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 06/02/2014 11:02:42
Should we eliminate (pun intended) toilet humor?

Please, let's not go there, I just couldn't bear it! I'm against any dia-log here, freedom of speech is protected by an important document called....
....the Constipation of the United States of America
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpicasion.com%2Fpic76%2Fbf904188aae285fd7ed743c5500ab003.gif&hash=64718cdddaf1d9cbfe39a4dad0cf9961)

 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 06/02/2014 15:39:06
We even named a ship after it. I believe her Captain was a Rear Admiral....

....The USS Constipation
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpicasion.com%2Fpic76%2Fd00f3350819f1e4bbac2807888d8c5bf.gif&hash=a45e801c665aa2eb688afd68d52d564d)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/02/2014 19:11:46
I'm for anything here as long as it doesn't makes us look like asses!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/02/2014 03:07:18
Did you hear about the fight at a local Laundromat?

A washing machine beat the crap out of a diaper.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 07/02/2014 06:08:46
Sounds like it was a good clean fight.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 07/02/2014 23:27:36
One might even say that the diaper is all washed up!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/02/2014 23:30:20
Sounds like it was a good clean fight.

Reminds me of a man who stole a case of soap from the corner store. The police said he made a clean getaway.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 07/02/2014 23:38:28
I'm sure the theft was by design. Criminals are known to be very slippery individuals!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 07/02/2014 23:41:36
Reminds me of a man who stole a case of soap from the corner store.

If he gets caught he could spend time behind bars!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/02/2014 23:48:48

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F2013-09%2FD4513A11-2026-4F94-AAA0-F7283F6508A9.gif&hash=b98feaf33aeddeb1718e407fadd0da0e)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/02/2014 00:19:14

Did you hear about the fight at a local Laundromat?

A washing machine beat the crap out of a diaper.



One might even say that the diaper is all washed up!



Sounds like it was a good clean fight.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F6783E6B5-8F0C-481B-BDA7-D6A955FEE4BD_2.jpg&hash=b2baac95bd0e652a882153268942546a)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 08/02/2014 13:11:27
....and no hitting below where your belt should be.

I don't think a belt would help the fellow on the left.... it looks like his knees are already buckled!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 08/02/2014 13:15:08
Odd that they don't have more complete uniforms.... they must have been really strapped for cash!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 08/02/2014 13:20:53
Looking at the bare breasted woman.... I could use a belt myself!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/02/2014 15:20:23

....and no hitting below where your belt should be.

I don't think a belt would help the fellow on the left.... it looks like his knees are already buckled!



Odd that they don't have more complete uniforms.... they must have been really strapped for cash!


In order to help this cash-strapped community, what if he wore a cardboard belt?

Nah. That would be a waist of paper.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/02/2014 15:26:49
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FF27C3164-461D-49C3-A4ED-6D4592DFB9C9.jpg&hash=0d80ee8caecf10062a508109fea090ae)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 09/02/2014 06:35:08
Looks like a nice girl from what I can see.... What if anything is known about her jean-etic endowment?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 09/02/2014 06:45:29
I think I see now where the guy who invented Air Bags got the idea!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 09/02/2014 06:55:45
Physically she's a good specimen too.... definitely the kind of shape I'd like to be in!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 09/02/2014 07:13:13
Alright, the truth is I'd go out with her no matter what her background was.... looks like I'm busted!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 09/02/2014 08:43:01
I know if she got pregnant.... I'd do everything in my power to support them both!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 09/02/2014 09:00:00
I'd even bring her flowers every day.... I'll bet her favorite is Honey-suckle!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 09/02/2014 09:10:01
I could have used her help on the swim team in high school.... I really struggled with the breast stroke!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/02/2014 09:12:14
Looks like a nice girl from what I can see.... What if anything is known about her jean-etic endowment?
I think I see now where the guy who invented Air Bags got the idea!
Physically she's a good specimen too.... definitely the kind of shape I'd like to be in!
Alright, the truth is I'd go out with her no matter what her background was.... looks like I'm busted!
I know if she got pregnant.... I'd do everything in my power to support them both!
I'd even bring her flowers every day.... I'll bet her favorite is Honey-suckle!
I could have used her help on the swim team in high school.... I really struggled with the breast stroke!

Aemilius once again wins a Breast Punning Award: a date with "Best Breasts At Academy Awards"

But will you date the rest of her, too???

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFBDB8020-F0F7-4D30-9D27-4B88BC428D07.jpg&hash=585cb42658f2b8e1c8c46e6b01b1798e)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 10/02/2014 04:08:38

But will you date the rest of her, too???


I'd certainly be willing to explore that.... I've always taken a broad approach to relationships.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 10/02/2014 04:10:54
I think I like the first one better though.... I could tell right away by her bra size that she's just my cup of tea!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 10/02/2014 04:27:35
Yeah, it's definitely the first one.... she just seems so much more well rounded than the other one.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/02/2014 01:34:09
Aemilius' request to Committee has been granted:

Approved: Punning Date Award _switched_ from Ms. Oscar to Ms BeltUp aka HugeOnes. They have been notified by Twitter.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/02/2014 02:50:09
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FF27C3164-461D-49C3-A4ED-6D4592DFB9C9.jpg&hash=0d80ee8caecf10062a508109fea090ae)


Owned by Ae!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 11/02/2014 03:48:57
Thanks, I wish I could accept the award but the truth is.... I heard all those jokes years ago on the boob-tube!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/02/2014 23:49:40

Thanks, I wish I could accept the award but the truth is.... I heard all those jokes years ago on the boob-tube!


I used to repair boob-tubes, but my business went down the tubes!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/02/2014 00:29:12
As Don_1 indicates, television sets in Britain have to cross the English Channel.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 12/02/2014 05:57:48

I used to repair boob-tubes, but my business went down the tubes!


That's the thing about the old vacuum tube technology.... it really sucked!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 12/02/2014 06:07:32
I remember taking apart a TV once that I forgot to unplug.... I was shocked to discover what really makes them work!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 12/02/2014 06:14:27
I actually remember the first show I saw in color, it was a real last minute cliffhanger of a football game.... I was electrified!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 12/02/2014 06:26:56
I even saw a Tesla coil once on TV.... it was a really stunning display!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 12/02/2014 06:36:33
The overall quality of TV programming has definitely declined though.... much of it is simply re-volt-ing!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/02/2014 06:36:47
I remember taking apart a TV once that I forgot to unplug.... I was shocked to discover what really makes them work!
The overall quality of TV programming has definitely declined though.... much of it is simply re-volt-ing!

Some folks are revolted by, have resistance to and find shocking watt is charged in our ohms for the use of electric current.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 12/02/2014 17:44:35
Then there's the one about the drawing of the cartoon character that almost seemed to move.... It was in a state of suspected animation!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/02/2014 22:42:06
Happy Valentine's Day!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FE61130F5-0A4D-4FF2-98A1-4A7FD9C1B07C.jpg&hash=f7594ecd3e0a048bc9a7ec31e2f1c8aa)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 15/02/2014 21:09:23
How about that botched 9/11 investigation and cover-up, it was a clear case of....

....Gorillas in the NIST !
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpicasion.com%2Fpic76%2F9d0c81cd17db18a524694319d05cabd5.gif&hash=5b987eb8ffff42b86e033d59112ff426)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 15/02/2014 21:26:14
A guy got his big toe blown off taking a shortcut accross his new neighbors property. They seemed friendly enough when they moved in... he really didn't think they'd mined at all!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 15/02/2014 23:24:22
He'll definitely be on his toes whenever dealing with them in the future!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 15/02/2014 23:27:04
If it were me.... I'd be watching every step they take!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 15/02/2014 23:30:34
People are crazy these days, I'm telling you .... almost anything can set them off!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 15/02/2014 23:52:19
He won't allow his children to play with the new neighbors children anymore either.... he's really put his foot down this time!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 17/02/2014 03:10:59
Favorite flower of the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.... the Pentagon-ia!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 18/02/2014 00:15:27
The guy who raised the "Stars and Stripes" each morning at the Pentagon had to be replaced.... his enthusiasm for the job was flagging!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 18/02/2014 00:21:21
The nations largest manufacturer of American Flags has announced layoffs.... they'll only be able to work at half staff!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 18/02/2014 18:29:25
A fight broke out after a perfectly fair race between two spotted leopards.... the winner was accused of being a cheetah!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 19/02/2014 05:59:30
The accusing leopard ultimately relented though after reviewing the video several times.... seeing that had really given him paws!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 19/02/2014 06:36:41
My bookie always has the inside dope on which cat will win, so when he called.... I really pounced on the opportunity!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 19/02/2014 06:42:38
I wasn't mistaken either. The competition was fierce but.... I really made a killing!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Bill S on 25/02/2014 22:43:54
Quote from: Aemilius
the winner was accused of being a cheetah!

Someone should have spotted that before they started.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 26/02/2014 13:38:55
Well someone did spot it, but spectators couldn't address the Judges directly.... it was some kind of claws in their contract!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Bill S on 27/02/2014 02:15:47
This thread has been going a long time.  That's because old threads don't die, they just get weft alone.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 27/02/2014 02:58:10
Yeah, demografx started it and really became obsessed, for some reason.... he just couldn't weave things as they were.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 27/02/2014 03:12:42
I think he expected to be made a Moderator for all his efforts here.... but the Site Administrator told him it did knot count!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 27/02/2014 03:24:42
He was so upset at first he went out and got drunk.... later he was seen weaving in the middle of a busy street and got a ticket.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 27/02/2014 03:39:32
I tried to tell him in a Private Message it wasn't worth coming unravelled over.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 27/02/2014 03:46:30
Personally, I think he should just selvedge what he can from the whole experience and move on.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 27/02/2014 04:27:05
I don't care what anyone says, the fact that he's lasted so long on the Forum is a testament to his rugged determination.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Bill S on 27/02/2014 15:35:48
A little thread drift could take us into string theory.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Bill S on 27/02/2014 15:36:57
Someone is bound to say that would make his brane hurt.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 27/02/2014 16:13:32
A little thread drift could take us into string theory.

The Moderators are pretty strict.... I'm a-frayed that might be a little risky!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 03/03/2014 00:50:50
Speaking of the brain, how about the climatologist who, after a hemispherectomy.... lost his ability to consider the issues globally.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 04/03/2014 21:47:46
It looks like we're heading toward physiology in general, I'm sure you've heard the one about the lung specialist diagnosed with chronic pleuritis.... it essentially ended his professional aspirations!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 04/03/2014 23:38:18
Then there's the case of the fetus that showed signs of having prematurely developed wisdom teeth.... it was considered to be a molar pregnancy!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 05/03/2014 18:20:54
There's the proctologist that was diagnosed with tunnel vision.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/03/2014 16:22:53

There's the proctologist that was diagnosed with tunnel vision.


Recycling old puns, I see![;D]


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sphsupplies.co.uk%2Fproduct_images%2Fv%2F047%2Flong_gl__68168_zoom.jpg&hash=47b1c5545222d626fa9dc15dafb1e666) You keep away from me........ HELP! Let me outa here!!!! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fkathsfunnylittlelife.files.wordpress.com%2F2012%2F07%2Fpanic-smiley.gif&hash=5c008640bd19b471d2ad23f96686fdca)



Don't worry, Don_1, the proctologist finally just now quit his job because it gave him tunnel vision.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/03/2014 16:25:48
I tried to tell him in a Private Message it wasn't worth coming unravelled over.

I received no private message from you. Keep it real.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/03/2014 16:28:05

I think he expected to be made a Moderator for all his efforts...


Get facts straight please. I've been a Moderator at POIS thread (still am as of today) since 2007.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 12/03/2014 16:48:53

Recycling old puns, I see![;D]


Hah! Didn't see that.... Are you going to take away my trophy?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 12/03/2014 16:56:56

I received no private message from you. Keep it real.


Right, sorry. Good to see you back.... I was just thinking during target practice the other day how much I've missed you!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 12/03/2014 17:08:21

Get facts straight please. I've been a Moderator at POIS thread (still am as of today) since 2007.


Oops, sorry about that. Yes, I've seen the thread, very difficult.... How do you handle yourself with such uncanny poise?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 12/03/2014 17:34:07
The POIS thread is interesting, but I probably won't read the whole thing.... too much logical phallus-y!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 12/03/2014 17:43:36
I hope they find a cure for POIS.... the people who suffer from it would be able to start a whole new wife for themselves!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 12/03/2014 17:59:16
It's certainly a lengthy discussion, I have an opinion about POIS but I don't think I'll insert myself into the conversation, there have been way too many ups and downs.... I'd probably just get frustrated and pull out!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 12/03/2014 18:26:15
Anyway, sorry again about that POIS moderator remark I made earlier.... I hope there are no hard feelings!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 12/03/2014 18:42:53
Maybe I misunderstood.... Are you still the Moderator of the POIS thread or did you have a sex change? Your last post there says [Former Moderator visiting period-ically]!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/03/2014 21:55:30
I wish you well for 2014.

Demo
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 12/03/2014 23:55:10
Oh, a wishing well, that's cleverly coined!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/03/2014 23:59:25
Thank you, Donnah  [;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 13/03/2014 00:02:43
You're well-come.  I'll take buckets of water over bits of coin any day.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: bizerl on 13/03/2014 01:59:20
You're well-come.  I'll take buckets of water over bits of coin any day.

Anything I say will pail in comparison, but I wanted to cash in all the same.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/03/2014 02:47:27
You're well-come.  I'll take buckets of water over bits of coin any day.

Anything I say will pail in comparison, but I wanted to cash in all the same.

Jack and Jill is the best nursery rhyme as others pail in comparison, and your cashing in is totally appropriate! [:)]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/03/2014 03:01:24

So....at this time, should we expect another blitzkrieg of wonderful, unilateral humor? [;D]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 13/03/2014 21:47:05
Unilateral "up the hill" humour for youngsters, but we need bilateral "over the hill" humour to include those of us that are oldsters.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/03/2014 22:38:41
[edit]
"So....at this time, should we expect another blitzkrieg of wonderful, unilateral, PETTY humor sarcasm?" [;D]



Unilateral "up the hill" humour for youngsters, but we need bilateral "over the hill" humour to include those of us that are oldsters.

Thanks again, Donnah!

You are The Punning Queen Of All Time! [:)]


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/03/2014 03:27:08

Unilateral "up the hill" humour for youngsters, but we need bilateral "over the hill" humour to include those of us that are oldsters.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA79AF06F-B031-4207-B94D-01D03233D065_1.png&hash=883d371439da5362a9f3d00b7b398b8a)

Over the hill or over the edge??



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 14/03/2014 04:14:05
I'm not very hungry, but that gives me an idea for dinner....

....I think I'll just have a little fillet of sole!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpicasion.com%2Fpic76%2Fbce094c60ce6fd63157f295a0482478a.gif&hash=fe7888701b954bcc2f9cbb679db2c7c2)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/03/2014 04:27:05
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F8056795C-D650-4794-9471-925762DC7642.jpg&hash=6544ec0d0722b0567025a9722736c488)

I'll take that over sole food any day of da week!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 14/03/2014 05:01:57
Sounds good, but I'm really hooked on fish, so I think I'll call my friend Diane. We formed a little neighborhood cooking club a while back....

....she has a great recipe for battered fish!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.picasion.com%2Fpic76%2F3a74a61004fe309726b812b7d667a1c9.gif&hash=947a3b7ce3be214af0ba3aaa23d199f2)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/03/2014 05:16:28
Aemilius...if u insist on eating fish and chips every day, you must certainly know by now that your stomach is bound to take a battering!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 14/03/2014 05:25:01
Well, I'm afraid that's all I have in the fridge.... it's batter than nothing!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/03/2014 05:35:15
Try baseball.

It's a batter game!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 14/03/2014 05:41:27
Aemilius...if u insist on eating fish and chips every day, you must certainly know by now that your stomach is bound to take a battering!

I know what you mean though about the fish. I should be more careful considering all the toxins in them these days.... the way I decide what foods are best has always been a bit mercury-al!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/03/2014 05:45:07
Try baseball.

It's a batter game!

Proof: A new batter joined my baseball team, and he was a real hit.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 14/03/2014 15:50:37
Yeah, baseball is fine.... but I've always been a soccer for football myself.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 14/03/2014 16:04:23
My wife and I used to get together with friends on the weekend to play baseball but we had to stop.... she didn't like the swinger lifestyle.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 14/03/2014 16:27:07
We tried golf too but had to stop because she thought one of the women golfers had the hots for me.... she kept following me around the course asking if she could borrow my putter!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 14/03/2014 16:36:58
My wife even accused me of cheating on her with the woman golfer. When I asked her how she knew.... she said a little birdie told her!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 14/03/2014 16:48:13
She was right too, the woman was actually a prostitute. I'll tell you, I've had a few good games of golf over the years.... but that was the only time I ever made a ho' in one!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 14/03/2014 17:22:01

So....at this time, should we expect another blitzkrieg of wonderful, unilateral humor? [;D]

I hope that's the kind of blitzkrieg you meant. I don't want to irritate you again like I did earlier.... Do you think those last few posts were german-e to the conversation? 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/03/2014 12:18:49
Try baseball.

It's a batter game!

Proof: A new batter joined my baseball team, and he was a real hit.


I hear your team has gone on strike.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/03/2014 12:27:04
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpicasion.com%2Fpic76%2Fbce094c60ce6fd63157f295a0482478a.gif&hash=fe7888701b954bcc2f9cbb679db2c7c2)
'Er indoors tried on a pair of shoes like these, but she couldn't get her whole foot in. still a toe should be enough.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/03/2014 12:32:04
I think they were called platform soles and it took a deal of training to walk in them. I did find a bigger pair and thought diesel fitter.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Bill S on 26/03/2014 21:15:27
You could be on the right track there, but don't expect to railroad anyone into accepting your points.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/03/2014 11:24:27
You could be on the right track there, but don't expect to railroad anyone into accepting your points.

Having been a sleeper, lurking unseen in the background for some time, I get the feeling you think I have sent out the wrong signals.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/03/2014 11:40:32
Speaking of signals I was going to use semaphore for this post until I realised I have a bogie on my handkerchief.

 [ Invalid Attachment ]  [ Invalid Attachment ]  [ Invalid Attachment ]  [ Invalid Attachment ]  [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: RD on 28/03/2014 13:14:00
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpicasion.com%2Fpic76%2Fbce094c60ce6fd63157f295a0482478a.gif&hash=fe7888701b954bcc2f9cbb679db2c7c2)

simpimply mahvelous dahling ... http://youtu.be/h0cfsHGjC_g?t=39s (http://youtu.be/h0cfsHGjC_g?t=39s)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 28/03/2014 19:09:25
I let out a soulful, soleful cry to see goldfish treated that way.  Species discrimination!  (I actually do raise goldfish in our pond.)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/04/2014 00:37:35
I let out a soulful, soleful cry to see goldfish treated that way.  Species discrimination!  (I actually do raise goldfish in our pond.)

Making Some Goldfish for Donnah:

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA85747F9-6D32-4860-8D31-BE5FE57C163F.gif&hash=23773080b31738cb884adff27b9d2e9e)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 01/04/2014 01:02:58
That's a cheesy trick:  crack(er)ed me up though.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/04/2014 05:23:38

That's a cheesy trick:  crack(er)ed me up though.


I made a really cheesy pun about quesadillas the other day.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/04/2014 06:12:45
I think they were called platform soles and it took a deal of training to walk in them. I did find a bigger pair and thought diesel fitter.

DIESEL BE YET ANOTHER PUNNING AWARD FOR DON_1:

              ALL YOU CAN EAT!!!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F329EB975-1595-48EC-8969-1813535E3435.gif&hash=0d366f01ba9bbfa0ed4a0d721c0d6ed3)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/04/2014 06:49:40
H A P P Y
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F89D3283A-3EC0-4D75-9F23-AA8C607339A9.jpg&hash=d57cce6244ff2c0e5d3339c4a230742b)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/04/2014 23:52:42
That's a cheesy trick:  crack(er)ed me up though.

Studying earthquakes rocks, but sometimes it is not always what it is cracked up to be.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 02/04/2014 00:24:02
Diesel fried chicken…yum!!!  Does the chicken fry on top of the lorry's oil pan?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/04/2014 03:21:52
Underneath, I think, Donnah...
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/04/2014 08:52:15
Underneath, I think, Donnah...

Ah ha! Then that must be sumptuous.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/04/2014 02:53:57

I think they were called platform soles and it took a deal of training to walk in them. I did find a bigger pair and thought diesel fitter.
You could be on the right track there, but don't expect to railroad anyone into accepting your points.

Aww, Bill, give Don_1 a brake!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/04/2014 22:25:03


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F329EB975-1595-48EC-8969-1813535E3435.gif&hash=0d366f01ba9bbfa0ed4a0d721c0d6ed3)

Diesel fried chicken…yum!!!  Does the chicken fry on top of the lorry's oil pan?
Underneath, I think, Donnah...

Ah ha! Then that must be sumptuous.

They also offer an alternate selection:
CHICKEN SUSHI SANDWICH!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FBEEE8AFE-A9FA-474C-8A81-7980EB3C4E02_1.jpg&hash=0aad389313b66814d792e42ab1af06bc)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 06/04/2014 01:18:44
Must be Easter but the bunny kept the egg a little too long.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/04/2014 22:56:13


Must be Easter but the bunny kept the egg a little too long.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F2013-09%2FD4513A11-2026-4F94-AAA0-F7283F6508A9.gif&hash=b98feaf33aeddeb1718e407fadd0da0e)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/04/2014 04:22:03
April, 2014 is:
Amateur Radio Month
http://www.friendshipandgoodwill.org/observances.html

Did you know that the two inventors of the radio were on the same wavelength?


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/04/2014 10:43:48
April, 2014 is:
Amateur Radio Month
http://www.friendshipandgoodwill.org/observances.html

Did you know that the two inventors of the radio were on the same wavelength?




I suppose they would have been in tune with each other. It is said of some that they were from the same mould. These two weren't quite so alike, but they could have been said to have been from the same broad cast.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/04/2014 10:46:03
Would "di" be a good name for a Welsh radio engineer?

His adverts could read:

"Di 'll fix it."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/04/2014 10:50:01
Must be Easter but the bunny kept the egg a little too long.

No, its just the latest in chique outwear.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/04/2014 01:04:19

Must be Easter but the bunny kept the egg a little too long.


A radio personality in an Easter parade gave a short wave.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/04/2014 01:14:03

Would "di" be a good name for a Welsh radio engineer?

His adverts could read:

"Di 'll fix it."

If I used that name -- with all my inexperience -- my adverts would read:

"You'll die before I fix it!"



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 12/04/2014 15:37:22

Would "di" be a good name for a Welsh radio engineer?

His adverts could read:

"Di 'll fix it."

If I used that name -- with all my inexperience -- my adverts would read:

"You'll die before I fix it!"





A man after my own heart.

Do
In
Years to come.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 12/04/2014 15:39:20

Must be Easter but the bunny kept the egg a little too long.


A radio personality in an Easter parade gave a short wave.




I suppose you just couldn't resistor that.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/04/2014 19:36:09

Must be Easter but the bunny kept the egg a little too long.


A radio personality in an Easter parade gave a short wave.




I suppose you just couldn't resistor that.

If I had a sister, and she had gender confusion issues, would she be a tran sister???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/04/2014 11:55:36
Resurrecting that Welshman, Di, again for a moment, I wrote a poem about. It was a Di ode.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/04/2014 11:59:29
I saw a man deliberately sit on a hat. When I told the owner of the afore mentioned headgear, he said, "Oh yes, that's ok, when I am not wearing it I employ him as a cap a sitter.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/04/2014 04:41:58
I resistor any defamatory remark, deserved or otherwise!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/04/2014 04:59:16
Resurrecting that Welshman, Di, again for a moment, I wrote a poem about. It was a Di ode.
I saw a man deliberately sit on a hat. When I told the owner of the afore mentioned headgear, he said, "Oh yes, that's ok, when I am not wearing it I employ him as a cap a sitter.
April, 2014 is:
Amateur Radio Month
http://www.friendshipandgoodwill.org/observances.html

Did you know that the two inventors of the radio were on the same wavelength?




I suppose they would have been in tune with each other. It is said of some that they were from the same mould. These two weren't quite so alike, but they could have been said to have been from the same broad cast.

Awarded to Don_1:

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F663F5C61-9FD1-4DF2-9B6F-322F57973DE8_2.jpg&hash=0a59c03ae2a4ce0bcc7db967b5a8a208)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/04/2014 06:32:00


Today, April 16, 2014, is:
Save The Elephant Day


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F87C917DA-BD5F-496B-B23C-B0F90641C1FC.gif&hash=c9fe2bcc047282e4316239c4e9e27b83)

"Oh For Crying Out Loud, Just Let Me Do It!"



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/04/2014 11:25:41
I think Jumbo has given his keeper the brush off.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/04/2014 00:16:28

I think Jumbo has given his keeper the brush off.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB3101493-0350-424A-8D1C-BA5D76F6A8DF.gif&hash=5e8f5c309a998237fb45d7e2cc6be4cd)

To Don _1: "Don , this is my story and I'm sticking to it !!
                  yours,
                  Felix"

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 17/04/2014 11:33:55


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB3101493-0350-424A-8D1C-BA5D76F6A8DF.gif&hash=5e8f5c309a998237fb45d7e2cc6be4cd)

To Don _1: "Don , this is my story and I'm sticking to it !!
                  yours,
                  Felix"



Well, it would be true to say we all have our foi bals.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 17/04/2014 11:55:49
Speaking of fur balls, here are some fur balls and some near balls:-

[diagram=731_0]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/04/2014 22:20:05
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F2012-04%2F6F07A4B2-0FFB-418F-8EED-C562E5709761.gif&hash=5359eeea364c479e079234735414feeb)

"Fur balls and near balls!"



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/04/2014 01:08:05


Excuse Me?


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2AECC2D3-B1B3-4F56-9868-3D43CAEA22CA.jpg&hash=c4c6a7808345d057cbc391b2245c3e62)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/04/2014 01:32:54


Excuse Me?


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2AECC2D3-B1B3-4F56-9868-3D43CAEA22CA.jpg&hash=c4c6a7808345d057cbc391b2245c3e62)


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-excited001.gif&hash=8a90acae0f7ff56de89796e642cec91b) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Me, me (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-excited001.gif&hash=8a90acae0f7ff56de89796e642cec91b) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Once a year, me me, yes, me!!! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Fhappy%2Fhappy-guys-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=c4a36840fa798fa5b24c8e9c71a7e1fa)


So why are you so happy? (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileyshack.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F12%2Fsconfused_100-134.gif%3Fw%3D20%26amp%3Bh%3D20&hash=2d4d3c9332cef2b84412b6325bcca0b4)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-excited001.gif&hash=8a90acae0f7ff56de89796e642cec91b) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Tonight's the night!!!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileyshack.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F12%2Fspointing_above_100-100.gif%3Fw%3D47%26amp%3Bh%3D34&hash=29d837fb02e5a83247548e26e58346f2)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/04/2014 02:57:39

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-excited001.gif&hash=8a90acae0f7ff56de89796e642cec91b) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Me, me (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-excited001.gif&hash=8a90acae0f7ff56de89796e642cec91b) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Once a year, me me, yes, me!!! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Fhappy%2Fhappy-guys-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=c4a36840fa798fa5b24c8e9c71a7e1fa)


So why are you so happy? (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileyshack.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F12%2Fsconfused_100-134.gif%3Fw%3D20%26amp%3Bh%3D20&hash=2d4d3c9332cef2b84412b6325bcca0b4)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-excited001.gif&hash=8a90acae0f7ff56de89796e642cec91b) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Tonight's the night!!!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileyshack.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F12%2Fspointing_above_100-100.gif%3Fw%3D47%26amp%3Bh%3D34&hash=29d837fb02e5a83247548e26e58346f2)


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA0C3F644-CEA7-477C-8AAC-C5BD946C3451.gif&hash=49d6ed7196bd343f42c63f8ef91bf368)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FDB4F2E6C-0462-43D7-9DD7-F81A56DD93E2.jpg&hash=436117d64e81ad8bcbb3b0e9b31294d1)
Or Something Like That !


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/04/2014 03:05:18


Today, April 23, 2014 is:
English Language Day
http://www.un.org/en/events/englishlanguageday/index.shtml

I wish I knew English sign language, it's pretty handy.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/04/2014 14:58:23
I woz leernd inglisch wen I woz at skoool. nah I kan speek reed an rite it flooentlie

I ave bin toled vat I ofen speek dubol duch sew I woz wundrin if vat meenz I kan speek free langwidges.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/04/2014 15:07:20

I wish I knew English sign language, it's pretty handy.



I was going to give you a few examples, but I don't want you think I'm trying to palm you off.

As I don't use sign language as a general rule of thumb, I am finding it hard to put my finger on the correct signage.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/04/2014 17:54:14
I wonder if they will celebrate English language day at Oxford University???

If the Chancellor of Oxford University were to be removed from his position on the grounds of mental instability, could it be said that he would have lost control of his faculties ?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/04/2014 06:26:51

I wish I knew English sign language, it's pretty handy.



I was going to give you a few examples, but I don't want you think I'm trying to palm you off.

As I don't use sign language as a general rule of thumb, I am finding it hard to put my finger on the correct signage.


Just create a signage index and write it on the middle of your pinky so you won't forget it.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/04/2014 10:31:34

Just create a signage index and write it on the middle of your pinky so you won't forget it.


By Jove, I think you've hit the nail on the head there Demo. It certainly has a ring of good sense about it.

Will you be offering further good advice, or will you wrist your case there. If need be, I can always throw you a life line.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/04/2014 22:41:25

Just create a signage index and write it on the middle of your pinky so you won't forget it.


By Jove, I think you've hit the nail on the head there Demo. It certainly has a ring of good sense about it.

Will you be offering further good advice, or will you wrist your case there. If need be, I can always throw you a life line.

"...offering further good advice..."????

C'mon, Don_1, you should know me well enough by now to know that I would rather not so much as even lift a finger!

Oh, and when you visit, don't forget to wash yourself after desert in the finger bowl right behind you.

And don't you even think of laying a finger on my wife. we'll both shake our fingers  at you for attempting that!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/04/2014 01:07:37

And don't you even think of laying a finger on my wife. we'll both shake our fingers  at you for attempting that!


What can I say??? Such a fing erm......... never even crossed my mind.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/04/2014 01:13:20

C'mon, Don_1, you should know me well enough by now to know that I would rather not so much as even lift a finger!

Oh, and when you visit, don't forget to wash yourself after desert in the finger bowl right behind you.

And don't you even think of laying a finger on my wife. we'll both shake our fingers  at you for attempting that!



I suppose we should be thankful that you didn't mention Fingers Malone when you knuckled down to write that.

I'm not going to take a hard copy of this post, I can do without a finger print. I'll just make do with a digital copy.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/04/2014 01:26:41
The beautiful young lady receptionist at the hotel rang me to say that my room booking had been confirmed. Now that's what I term as a cutie call.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/04/2014 01:36:32
LOOK OUT EVERYBODY, Demo is on the prowl, quick, hide.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/04/2014 04:14:42
The beautiful young lady receptionist at the hotel rang me to say that my room booking had been confirmed. Now that's what I term as a cutie call.

True, but that cutie call is only one of the many, mani cures that the hotel offers.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/04/2014 04:19:42

C'mon, Don_1, you should know me well enough by now to know that I would rather not so much as even lift a finger!

Oh, and when you visit, don't forget to wash yourself after desert in the finger bowl right behind you.

And don't you even think of laying a finger on my wife. we'll both shake our fingers  at you for attempting that!



I suppose we should be thankful that you didn't mention Fingers Malone when you knuckled down to write that.

I'm not going to take a hard copy of this post, I can do without a finger print. I'll just make do with a digital copy.

Think we nailed it this time?

More like a crucifixion!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/04/2014 04:54:11
I wonder if they will celebrate English language day at Oxford University???

If the Chancellor of Oxford University were to be removed from his position on the grounds of mental instability, could it be said that he would have lost control of his faculties ?

Maybe the Chancellor simply couldn't make the grade?

Certainly worthwhile studying this more.

It's teaching me not to judge a whole class of people, e.g., "All Chancellors are mentally unstable".
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/04/2014 11:45:05
"All Chancellors are mentally unstable".

Hey doll for what purpose do you think Demo made that comment?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/04/2014 11:56:11
Oi!!! You ....... Mr Don 1


I really didn't like the angle a that post. I'ma calling in your license to pun if  you do that again.


Oh look, this is getting close to satirical punning.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/04/2014 12:05:00
Oh look, this is getting close to satirical punning.

That's as may be, but there's no need to blair it out. I do carey about these things you know ba ma sense of national pride holds me back. So would yours if you camer on the same boat as me.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/04/2014 13:03:00
Some parasites were having a shindig on a parrot. The headline in the morning paper was PARTY POLLY TICS.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/04/2014 22:16:50

"All Chancellors are mentally unstable".


Hey doll for what purpose do you think Demo made that comment?

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.rarenewspapers.com%2Febayimgs%2F2.45.2012%2Fimage053.jpg&hash=6e18220d7268e91f629f2304be0238b9)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/04/2014 06:04:18
April 27 - May 3, 2014 is:
Preservation Week
http://www.ala.org/alcts/confevents/


Why do people preserve fruits and vegetables?

Because they 'can'.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/04/2014 11:01:20
April 27 - May 3, 2014 is:
Preservation Week
http://www.ala.org/alcts/confevents/


Why do people preserve fruits and vegetables?

Because they 'can'.



Now that's jarred my memory. It was beautiful late summer's morning and down at the manor house, the gardener was tending to the fruit nets to stop birds from pectin at the redcurrants.

The Squire had invited friends & relatives for the weekend and his good lady wife was conducting a preservice check on the breakfast table. She called to the maid, "Did you lay the table?" The maid replied, "Yes Ma am, I laid it first thing this morning."

"Very well done," the Lady of the house retorted, "Now if you would please announce 'Breakfast is served'  and  jam open the French windows to let in the smell of the rose garden."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/04/2014 11:08:25
Alan and I didn't want anyone to see what we had found in the old natural history museum vaults until we were good and ready to make the announcement.
But the invited guests to the unveiling were turning up too early so I had to inform Al d' hide the specimen jar.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/04/2014 15:05:26
April 27 - May 3, 2014 is:
Preservation Week
http://www.ala.org/alcts/confevents/


Why do people preserve fruits and vegetables?

Because they 'can'.



Now that's jarred my memory. It was beautiful late summer's morning and down at the manor house, the gardener was tending to the fruit nets to stop birds from pectin at the redcurrants.

The Squire had invited friends & relatives for the weekend and his good lady wife was conducting a preservice check on the breakfast table. She called to the maid, "Did you lay the table?" The maid replied, "Yes Ma am, I laid it first thing this morning."

"Very well done," the Lady of the house retorted, "Now if you would please announce 'Breakfast is served'  and  jam open the French windows to let in the smell of the rose garden."
Alan and I didn't want anyone to see what we had found in the old natural history museum vaults until we were good and ready to make the announcement.
But the invited guests to the unveiling were turning up to early so I had too inform Al d' hide the specimen jar.

Newsflash (AP) Don_1 awarded for above Preservation Punning by:

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F1B364CF1-7288-40BD-8EA1-AA9EB73CBBDB.jpg&hash=bd6fb2ca39e5dd667f88d5aab5d49456)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/04/2014 10:21:48

Newsflash (AP) Don_1 awarded for above Preservation Punning by:

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F1B364CF1-7288-40BD-8EA1-AA9EB73CBBDB.jpg&hash=bd6fb2ca39e5dd667f88d5aab5d49456)


Last year, they kept it to themselves and were accused of being the Self Preservation Society. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIechPy5ycc)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/04/2014 10:24:33
This line of punning has me in a bit of a pickle.

We're going to have to know our onions if we're going to find a way to a new line.

AHha! That's it, 'onions', of course, we can move on now rather than vegetate on the preserves.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/05/2014 20:03:00
This line of punning has me in a bit of a pickle.

We're going to have to know our onions if we're going to find a way to a new line.

AHha! That's it, 'onions', of course, we can move on now rather than vegetate on the preserves.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F1FE3274D-4A07-4B2A-BD60-809918A4BCC5.jpg&hash=3b7010b9096f7e9ac921c8c15d69fab3)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/05/2014 20:13:13

Newsflash (AP) Don_1 awarded for above Preservation Punning by:

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F1B364CF1-7288-40BD-8EA1-AA9EB73CBBDB.jpg&hash=bd6fb2ca39e5dd667f88d5aab5d49456)


Last year, they kept it to themselves and were accused of being the Self Preservation Society. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIechPy5ycc)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F2012-04%2F6F07A4B2-0FFB-418F-8EED-C562E5709761.gif&hash=5359eeea364c479e079234735414feeb)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 03/05/2014 06:10:40
That jarring thought made me steaming mad.  I'll put a lid on it though.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/05/2014 16:02:47
That jarring thought made me steaming mad.  I'll put a lid on it though.

Sealed with a kiss, perchance?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/05/2014 16:10:02
And here's my seal of approval. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zW1APHMIeMI)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/05/2014 15:56:46
Today, May 4, 2014 is:
QUATRO DE MAYO!
















Whoops! A day early!!
 [:-\]


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/05/2014 03:09:27

But today...

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F0323774B-379C-41C5-82B3-223D268ACF9D.jpg&hash=ebb4a6266747cab8a38bdfa0011a70fb)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/05/2014 03:18:05
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F57594FD3-7D55-4C2E-A873-E48582D96317.jpg&hash=ffad84edf87d88ea4053ac4a067d52d0)


Is this what Cinco de Mayo is all about???


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/05/2014 05:19:04


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA9F70537-7404-4B6E-8B67-964CDD455D14.jpg&hash=1a552481b89f43d24eab551a9d2cbab8)

Thumbs up! Seal of Approval for Don_1 and Donnah!



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 06/05/2014 03:25:20
And here's my seal of approval. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zW1APHMIeMI)
More like sealed with a cat.  When I clicked your "seal of approval" link and the baby started talking, Odyn got up from my keyboard and looked behind the computer.  Super Odyn; guard cat extraordinaire!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 06/05/2014 03:27:36
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F57594FD3-7D55-4C2E-A873-E48582D96317.jpg&hash=ffad84edf87d88ea4053ac4a067d52d0)


Is this what Cinco de Mayo is all about???



No, that's "Uno de Mayo"; you need five jars for "Cinco de Mayo".
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/05/2014 03:41:02

Is this what Cinco de Mayo is all about???


No, that's "Uno de Mayo"; you need five jars for "Cinco de Mayo".

Thanks, Donnah, I knew you'd know the answer!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/05/2014 03:51:12
And here's my seal of approval. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zW1APHMIeMI)
More like sealed with a cat.  When I clicked your "seal of approval" link and the baby started talking, Odyn got up from my keyboard and looked behind the computer.  Super Odyn; guard cat extraordinaire!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F76B0733D-37A4-4BA6-8D52-FACDEADD1052.jpg&hash=110fa2121c804ae2a153fc5ee51f4ece)

I see that Odyn has been very busy lately!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/05/2014 09:23:18

I see that Odyn has been very busy lately!

He sure has, here he is preparing for an attack on the Isle of Dogs.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.strangehistory.net%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F05%2Fviking-cats.jpg&hash=1fdffc1ffc5215d400b62dadec667047)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/05/2014 10:04:25
Ohhh, I say! Over 300k views of this thread. Can you believe there can be sew many people who are knitty enough follow this tangled web of words we weave? Of course it is our very own Demo who can lay claim to inaugurating this pearl in the crown of the TNS forum. It may make some people cross at times, even give them the needle, but obviously it amuses some and perhaps has some in stitches occasionally.
As we near the third of a million views, I wonder if an award is looming on the horizon.

Oh brother (http://www.brothermachines.com/), we must invite a singer (http://www.singerco.com/) to the ceremony.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/05/2014 19:16:37
Ohhh, I say! Over 300k views of this thread. Can you believe there can be sew many people who are knitty enough follow this tangled web of words we weave? Of course it is our very own Demo who can lay claim to inaugurating this pearl in the crown of the TNS forum. It may make some people cross at times, even give them the needle, but obviously it amuses some and perhaps has some in stitches occasionally.
As we near the third of a million views, I wonder if an award is looming on the horizon.

Oh brother (http://www.brothermachines.com/), we must invite a singer (http://www.singerco.com/) to the ceremony.

An appropriate Game Award for Don_1!


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F2CF3FCD3-7A7E-454E-99F3-A08C01040B98.jpg&hash=4750c1693d05e25381e536ea6e932d61)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/05/2014 05:11:01

Oh brother (http://www.brothermachines.com/), we must invite a singer (http://www.singerco.com/) to the ceremony.


Bah! Don_1, those machines are too durn modern and...newfangled!

Mrs. Demo is perfectly happy with her old trusty sewing table !

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2FB5283075-0224-4D09-9230-B15F0E855153.gif&hash=36fe2c7a2a9f2b16fbf62a1299bff403)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/05/2014 13:14:18
I see you're not one for keeping up with the Jones (http://www.ismacs.net/jones/home.html)es then.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/05/2014 20:13:49
Don't insult me, Don_1: I'm up to date

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ismacs.net%2Fjones%2Fimages%2Fjones-treadle-sewing-machine.jpg&hash=09ef87a578c2174d4cbc995103eb0c77)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/05/2014 09:23:40
Don't insult me, Don_1: I'm up to date

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ismacs.net%2Fjones%2Fimages%2Fjones-treadle-sewing-machine.jpg&hash=09ef87a578c2174d4cbc995103eb0c77)

Ah! Yes, ermmmmmmmmm, how do I tell him???

I shall have to treadle carefully, not spin any yarns. I don't want to give him the needle. Button the other hand, I feel he needs to know. Perhaps I'll send hem him a zip file. Or would that fly in the face of convention?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/05/2014 19:13:56
OK, I've thought long and hard about this. I am now ready to break the news to Demo.

Ahem.......

Well, now you see, there was once an English bloke by the name of Mike Fairyday (or summat t' that effect) and he had an Italian chum with frogs legs. Or was it a Frog with Italian legs??? Anyways, this geezer's name was Luigi Galvani (short for 'galvanise' I suspect) and he used to poke frogs legs in public........... blah blah blah blah........



.........blah blah blah blah........... and that's how ol' Micky Faraway, or whatever his name was, discovered the London Electrickery Company. From what I understand, some fella over there in the US of A  by the name of Edward made a glass thingy glow with some o' this 'ere electrickery. Everyone in the room watched this thingy as the switch was thrown.
"Did it work?" called Edward from a safe distance in another room (he wasn't daft) and they all joined in the chorus "Yes Ed is on.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/05/2014 22:03:50
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F7CC96D0D-499B-4692-8128-27C1575B7573.jpg&hash=185d93e1ee61cb0f483f4a3013adef4b)

Nikola Tesla
(worked briefly for Thomas Edison)






Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/05/2014 22:22:25
Sew watt if I like old sewing machines???

That's no reason to needle me mercilessly!

If this keeps up, I'm switching majors to Paleontology.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/05/2014 07:58:29


If this keeps up, I'm switching majors to Paleontology.



But..... but..... but..... I thought you already had! (http://bluedinosaurs.com/diy-platform-sewing-table/)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/05/2014 08:10:20
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F7CC96D0D-499B-4692-8128-27C1575B7573.jpg&hash=185d93e1ee61cb0f483f4a3013adef4b)

Nikola Tesla
(worked briefly for Thomas Edison)


He was used by Edison only during the preliminary days. Edison didn't want to be around when the switch was thrown, in case it all went disastrously wrong. He would shout his orders in pigeon Serbian  from a safe distance, "Nikola, test la bulb now."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/05/2014 08:16:06
Sew watt if I like old sewing machines???

That's no reason to needle me mercilessly!

If this keeps up, I'm switching majors to Paleontology.



So, you'll be looking into SEW AGE huh!

MAN U Re brave.

Come post some more like this.

If you were Islamic, you couldn't be a Suny, you'd have to be a Shia-t.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/05/2014 17:58:49

If this keeps up, I'm switching majors to Paleontology.


But..... but..... but..... I thought you already had! (http://bluedinosaurs.com/diy-platform-sewing-table/)


You're right! I'll specialize in Blue Dinosaur Research! Thanks for the career direction. What do I owe you?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/05/2014 18:11:32
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F7CC96D0D-499B-4692-8128-27C1575B7573.jpg&hash=185d93e1ee61cb0f483f4a3013adef4b)

Nikola Tesla
(worked briefly for Thomas Edison)


He was used by Edison only during the preliminary days. Edison didn't want to be around when the switch was thrown, in case it all went disastrously wrong. He would shout his orders in pigeon Serbian  from a safe distance, "Nikola, test la bulb now."

This is shocking news to me!
 [:0]

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/05/2014 21:40:49
Sew watt if I like old sewing machines???

That's no reason to needle me mercilessly!

If this keeps up, I'm switching majors to Paleontology.



So, you'll be looking into SEW AGE huh!

MAN U Re brave.

Come post some more like this.

If you were Islamic, you couldn't be a Suny, you'd have to be a Shia-t.

No no no, it's NEW AGE!!!!
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Age

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/05/2014 22:44:47

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2FB5283075-0224-4D09-9230-B15F0E855153.gif&hash=36fe2c7a2a9f2b16fbf62a1299bff403)


I suppose that you will next poke fun at the new Mother's Day dress I bought for Mrs. Demo!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/05/2014 13:42:53
I wasn't going to mention that, but since you've brought it up.......... Let's just say I'm not so sure the good lady would have been exactly enthralled.

Apparently it had a faint odour of moth balls. Are you sure it was 'new'?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/05/2014 13:54:44

No no no, it's NEW AGE!!!!


New age, Sew age; Much the same thing really.

Its all a load of (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-shocked002.gif&hash=7f6d89e7c30bdd9cc9923f634509ff42) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/05/2014 18:40:02
I wasn't going to mention that, but since you've brought it up.......... Let's just say I'm not so sure the good lady would have been exactly enthralled.

Apparently it had a faint odour of moth balls. Are you sure it was 'new'?

Not moth balls: formaldehyde.

To preserve it as new!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/05/2014 18:44:36

No no no, it's NEW AGE!!!!


New age, Sew age; Much the same thing really.

Its all a load of (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-shocked002.gif&hash=7f6d89e7c30bdd9cc9923f634509ff42) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F2011-09%2FE60640FE-045F-42F8-B5DC-5862F0908E46.jpg&hash=6e3f13eff9cb2aa0bc1ac8d6f8d26b76)

"I agree!"

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/05/2014 17:12:50
Well now, that jolly chubby chappy looks like he's on a Trip o'ling about his posture.

And speaking of Li, b ya watching carefully Demo?

Yes, 'tis I speaking (or rather typing) from Old Tripoli Town In Libya and making a pretty bad job of punning from foriegn shores.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/05/2014 03:38:47

Speaking of Li, b ya watching carefully Demo?


When a thief stole several volumes from Library A he was quickly booked.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 26/05/2014 03:44:47
Perhaps he could have sneaked out if he'd turned down the volumes.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/05/2014 09:57:18
Perhaps he could have sneaked out if he'd turned down the volumes.

He wasn't a clever enough chap ter figure that one out, hence he received a long sentence from the judge.

Gaol terms for these offences have been pretty static over the past years, as a pair o graphs illustrate.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/05/2014 05:08:48
When a thief stole several volumes from Library A he was quickly booked.
Perhaps he could have sneaked out if he'd turned down the volumes.
He wasn't a clever enough chap ter figure that one out, hence he received a long sentence from the judge.

Gaol terms for these offences have been pretty static over the past years, as a pair o graphs illustrate.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-YKmEZtb1enc%2FT-DTfjI191I%2FAAAAAAAAClM%2FlBkYBt2ShvE%2Fs1600%2Fblog.jpg&hash=c55e668d68c7e0fc2cb9cfbce0bcb19a)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/05/2014 13:47:33

Today, May 27, 2014 is:
Cellophane Tape Day

I imagine that doing business in Libya must involve a lot of red tape.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/05/2014 16:09:55
Opposite the hotel in Tripoli was a mosque. Every morning the call to prayer was blasted out at 5am.
Though it did wake me, I went back to sleep after a couple of minarets.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/05/2014 16:15:42
When a thief stole several volumes from Library A he was quickly booked.
Perhaps he could have sneaked out if he'd turned down the volumes.
He wasn't a clever enough chap ter figure that one out, hence he received a long sentence from the judge.

Gaol terms for these offences have been pretty static over the past years, as a pair o graphs illustrate.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-YKmEZtb1enc%2FT-DTfjI191I%2FAAAAAAAAClM%2FlBkYBt2ShvE%2Fs1600%2Fblog.jpg&hash=c55e668d68c7e0fc2cb9cfbce0bcb19a)



I am told your word is binding and that you have the spine to back up your words. This should entitle you to an award.

You may pick your own award, authorwise one can be selected for you.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/05/2014 22:27:05
Opposite the hotel in Tripoli was a mosque. Every morning the call to prayer was blasted out at 5am.
Though it did wake me, I went back to sleep after a couple of minarets.

Don_1, you're remarkable: you have more workable steps than the stairway of a minaret!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F4.bp.blogspot.com%2F-AZl0ubhmI_8%2FUiYlTF6f9nI%2FAAAAAAAACoo%2FW3D2iyLzpvc%2Fs1600%2Fgreat-mosque-samarra-iraq.jpg&hash=e9fd69bf6f79fa5f69be0b21cae29b6f)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/05/2014 00:40:29
When a thief stole several volumes from Library A he was quickly booked.
Perhaps he could have sneaked out if he'd turned down the volumes.
He wasn't a clever enough chap ter figure that one out, hence he received a long sentence from the judge.

Gaol terms for these offences have been pretty static over the past years, as a pair o graphs illustrate.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-YKmEZtb1enc%2FT-DTfjI191I%2FAAAAAAAAClM%2FlBkYBt2ShvE%2Fs1600%2Fblog.jpg&hash=c55e668d68c7e0fc2cb9cfbce0bcb19a)



I am told your word is binding and that you have the spine to back up your words. This should entitle you to an award.

You may pick your own award, authorwise one can be selected for you.

Thank you.

My writer's cramp is also known as authoritis.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/05/2014 11:29:11

Don_1, you're remarkable: you have more workable steps than the stairway of a minaret!


Shouldn't that be a stairway to heaven (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YZb8s7Kxa4).

I think you may have been led up the wrong path, perchance by one of the Marx Bros. namely Zeppo, linning  his pocket, as usual.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/05/2014 11:32:44

My writer's cramp is also known as authoritis.


Just wait till you suffer from the scrolls......

But I have to say that man, you scripted that well.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/05/2014 11:37:18
Demo was having a spot of bother finding the right key to play a certain piece of music in.

"Its no good in A minor or D flat." He exclaimed. With my limited knowledge of things musical, I could only make one suggestion.
I said, "Why don't you try lo G?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/06/2014 05:21:19

My writer's cramp is also known as authoritis.


Just wait till you suffer from the scrolls......

But I have to say that man, you scripted that well.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fportal.norwalkps.org%2Fsites%2Fteachers%2Fbenson%2FPublishingImages%2FMiscellaneous%2520Images%2Fgoodone.gif&hash=4b2c804d8e4465b12d06c16013b3907e)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/06/2014 05:22:18

Demo was having a spot of bother finding the right key to play a certain piece of music in.

"Its no good in A minor or D flat." He exclaimed. With my limited knowledge of things musical, I could only make one suggestion.
I said, "Why don't you try lo G?

You can always try lo Gic or reason if intuition and emotions don't work.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/06/2014 05:28:43

Don_1, you're remarkable: you have more workable steps than the stairway of a minaret!


Shouldn't that be a stairway to heaven (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YZb8s7Kxa4).

I think you may have been led up the wrong path, perchance by one of the Marx Bros. namely Zeppo, linning  his pocket, as usual.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffc09.deviantart.net%2Ffs47%2Ff%2F2009%2F181%2F6%2F6%2FLed_Zeppelin_Animated_by_Jallen02.gif&hash=bccb56ffca71817a7a94066d0fd2f140)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/06/2014 10:59:41
I refer you to the GRAPH ZEPpo LINed his pockets with, which he later hid beHIND AN iceBERG.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/06/2014 11:05:47
I asked a local chap if the long mound of earth obscured the view from the town square.
He replied "Oh yes, der ridge able to block any such vista."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/06/2014 21:34:44
I asked a local chap if the long mound of earth obscured the view from the town square.
He replied "Oh yes, der ridge able to block any such vista."


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F8EC13BFF-5253-45B1-95B3-B80B57EBA0D2.jpg&hash=b5f3011792384f56e220bc6522d97078)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fniallmor.files.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F01%2Fdirigible.jpg&hash=b038695b208cbe6bf77af5fe0b032fc5)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/06/2014 21:49:17
I refer you to the GRAPH ZEPpo LINed his pockets with, which he later hid beHIND AN iceBERG.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2FE47B711D-9FB2-4B2E-A66A-BA3620F20AE3.jpg&hash=b84e0a79ce8a9ec50f71e4be59498edb)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/06/2014 02:32:30

Demo was having a spot of bother finding the right key to play a certain piece of music in.

"Its no good in A minor or D flat." He exclaimed. With my limited knowledge of things musical, I could only make one suggestion.
I said, "Why don't you try lo G?

You can always try lo Gic or reason if intuition and emotions don't work.

Besides, last time I tried lo G it sounded too Guttural.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/06/2014 02:53:58

June, 2014, is:
Adopt-A-Cat-Month
http://www.americanhumane.org/animals/programs/special-initiatives/adopt-a-cat-month/

Odyn isn't available so I'll wait till I'm feline better.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/06/2014 08:40:43

June, 2014, is:
Adopt-A-Cat-Month
http://www.americanhumane.org/animals/programs/special-initiatives/adopt-a-cat-month/

Odyn isn't available so I'll wait till I'm feline better.

I'm always more than willing to give aid to a pu(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-shocked002.gif&hash=7f6d89e7c30bdd9cc9923f634509ff42)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/06/2014 12:23:03
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftheraleighmortgageguy.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F07%2Fwall-of-shame.jpg&hash=4e496f51e45140bdccace09a1ff4034e)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/06/2014 10:24:55
Me??? Shame??? Oh no, there's nun here.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/06/2014 02:46:13

June, 2014, is:
Adopt-A-Cat-Month
http://www.americanhumane.org/animals/programs/special-initiatives/adopt-a-cat-month/

Odyn isn't available so I'll wait till I'm feline better.

I'm always more than willing to give aid to a pu(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-shocked002.gif&hash=7f6d89e7c30bdd9cc9923f634509ff42)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftheraleighmortgageguy.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2011%2F07%2Fwall-of-shame.jpg&hash=4e496f51e45140bdccace09a1ff4034e)

Me??? Shame??? Oh no, there's nun here.

Good for you, Don_1, shame can become a bad habit.

My 3rd cousin's (twice removed) long lost sister -- Sally Field ( -- flies into a shaming fit until she unveils the unsuspecting listener's real motives (usually sinful!).

Be compassionate: Sally grew up cloistered.



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F-0_bTqD6C7Pg%2FUn9jtbbIh3I%2FAAAAAAAAB4Y%2F4rok0kc5SK8%2Fs1600%2Fsallycover.jpg&hash=61e96d69fc18936046e74008a65108cc)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/06/2014 10:37:25
Yet anmother superior post from the father of the punning thread.

All you novices take good note or Demo will make monkies of you all.

Now then, ATTEN-SHUN, QUIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiIIIIICK MARCH, left, right, left, right, left, right ABBOT TURN!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/06/2014 19:31:44
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ff1.pepst.com%2Fc%2F194136%2F4630%2Fssc3%2Fhome%2F020%2Fzarden.animations%2Fpriest_preaching_behi.gif_480_480_0_64000_0_1_0.gif&hash=67223300678b54a321b35be97c4d1897)

"All ye novices: listen to Don_1 or you will ALL
go to...














hell!"
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg1.wikia.nocookie.net%2F__cb20130127055956%2Fdegrassi%2Fimages%2Fd%2Fd8%2FFire-animated-hot-burn.gif&hash=31177fa6c2ba4a22d1da2ae3f329a386)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/06/2014 23:51:54
As you can see, Demo is not one to simply infer, no, he gets straight down to the nitty gritty.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/06/2014 02:06:06

Looming inferno?? Satan?? Pitchforks??

Oh, hell, then why Dante we do something about it??
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 12/06/2014 08:59:05
............ why Dante we do something about it??


I passed on your suggestion to the Mrs. But she said we could never win the battle. So I'm afraid we will loose if 'er indoors says so.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 12/06/2014 09:03:51
I see the problems in Iraq are returning. Will there ever be a solution for that dam nation?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 12/06/2014 09:12:48
I firmly believe that the first life forms to evolve mouth parts appeared on Earth during the Pliocene. I refer to this period as the Epoch 'o lips.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/06/2014 19:32:51
I see the problems in Iraq are returning. Will there ever be a solution for that dam nation?

Do you mean THIS Eye-rack?

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.rfmsecuritysolutions.com%2Fimages%2Feyeanimation.gif&hash=3ad85770658912d60f914efa1f932e60)

(https://slm-assets0.secondlife.com/assets/6245888/view_large/MCB_-_Navy_Sailor_-_Autumn_-_Woman_-_Vendor.jpg?1347464429)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/06/2014 19:36:56
I firmly believe that the first life forms to evolve mouth parts appeared on Earth during the Pliocene. I refer to this period as the Epoch 'o lips.

In that case, Armageddon my facts straight.

Thanks, Don_1, what would we do without your infernal precision?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/06/2014 23:09:45
............ why Dante we do something about it??


I passed on your suggestion to the Mrs. But she said we could never win the battle. So I'm afraid we will loose if 'er indoors says so.

I agree with Mrs. Don_1: we would have a devil of a time even trying to prepare for battle!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/06/2014 01:07:22
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmsshooksenglishclasses.weebly.com%2Fuploads%2F1%2F2%2F5%2F6%2F12566818%2F804192989_orig.jpg&hash=86813eb2ea6d93bb94a873534cf66354)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/06/2014 07:14:03

As you can see, Demo is not one to simply infer, no, he gets straight down to the nitty gritty.

I confess to the truth of the above statement.
Signed,(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffont.downloadatoz.com%2Fdownload%2Fimgs%2Fc%2Fh%2Fa%2FChancellerie%2520Moderne%2520Demo-icon.png&hash=942375b61f8d9b2af067b5da9f452211)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/06/2014 09:18:30
Most plants reproduce by means of seeds, however, in fern only the ancient system of spores are used.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/06/2014 09:46:58
Signed,(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffont.downloadatoz.com%2Fdownload%2Fimgs%2Fc%2Fh%2Fa%2FChancellerie%2520Moderne%2520Demo-icon.png&hash=942375b61f8d9b2af067b5da9f452211)

By chance celery use the seed method.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/06/2014 09:58:58
Dateline June 24, 2014
Today is National Pralines Day

Originally created in France the praline got its name from French soldier and sugar industrialist, Marshal du Plessis-Praslin, who's cook who invented it.
Pralines evolved when French settlers brought the recipe to Louisiana where chefs in New Orleans eventually substituted pecans for almonds and added cream.

Today they come in many flavours and are soooooooo yummy, it's no wonder they have their own day.
Happy National Pralines Day!

Its also International Fairy Day. I shall say no more.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/06/2014 19:21:27
Dateline June 24, 2014
Today is National Pralines Day


I pray as well to be lean one day. Diet! Diet! Diet!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/06/2014 19:36:50
Signed,(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffont.downloadatoz.com%2Fdownload%2Fimgs%2Fc%2Fh%2Fa%2FChancellerie%2520Moderne%2520Demo-icon.png&hash=942375b61f8d9b2af067b5da9f452211)

By chance celery use the seed method.

Greengrocers earn a meager celery, come home beet and just want to read the pepper, take a leek, turnip the covers endive into bed.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 05/07/2014 15:56:41
"Oh grow up!" said the gardener to her little sprouts.  "And stop doing weed! Must tardiness be part of the schedule?  If you don't squash that habit, I'll have to beet you!" 
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/07/2014 02:42:44

"Oh grow up!" said the gardener to her little sprouts.  "And stop doing weed! Must tardiness be part of the schedule?  If you don't squash that habit, I'll have to beet you!" 


Donnah wins this Award for Outstanding Gardening Punning!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.aaacertificates.com%2Fimages%2Fsmall%2Foutstandgardentree.jpg&hash=e0251221546b59907ede0cc23e53dab3)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 08/07/2014 21:32:12
Lettuce all take a bough.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/07/2014 01:03:09

Lettuce all take a bough.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstream1.gifsoup.com%2Fview7%2F2915529%2Ftake-a-bow-o.gif&hash=5667864bd90953cd2e3feb9ec001fbc2)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 12/07/2014 23:25:18
Looks like a ghoulish wave!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/07/2014 07:08:57


Looks like a ghoulish wave!


Goulash?

Yes, I do prefer that to steak.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/07/2014 13:22:20
A local house, said to be haunted, was burnt to the ground. Fire investigators said they had found goul ash in the charred remains.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/07/2014 13:33:31


Looks like a ghoulish wave!


Goulash?

Yes, I do prefer that to steak.

That's tew all over, isn't it! I'm telling you, your for the chop. Come on, I want to hear you tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and no loin.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/07/2014 05:55:13


A local house, said to be  haunted, was burnt to the ground. Fire investigators said they had found goul ash in the charred remains.


But don't forget  that my brother and I collaborated on haunted stories, and he was the ghostwriter.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/07/2014 06:17:27



Looks like a ghoulish wave!


Goulash?

Yes, I do prefer that to steak.


That's tew all over, isn't it! I'm telling you, your for the chop. Come on, I want to hear you tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and no loin.


OK, Don_1, but when it is lumpy I have a  beef with your gravy!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/07/2014 10:43:05


A local house, said to be  haunted, was burnt to the ground. Fire investigators said they had found goul ash in the charred remains.


But don't forget  that my brother and I collaborated on haunted stories, and he was the ghostwriter.

Ah ha! This explains why you spirited him away.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/07/2014 10:47:11
I wonder, was Phil Specter a ghost writer???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/07/2014 10:55:27



Looks like a ghoulish wave!


Goulash?

Yes, I do prefer that to steak.


That's tew all over, isn't it! I'm telling you, your for the chop. Come on, I want to hear you tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and no loin.


OK, Don_1, but when it is lumpy I have a  beef with your gravy!

Wow! You've got a sauce.

By the way, was Phil Specter a jeux?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/07/2014 00:51:30


A local house, said to be  haunted, was burnt to the ground. Fire investigators said they had found goul ash in the charred remains.


But don't forget  that my brother and I collaborated on haunted stories, and he was the ghostwriter.

Ah ha! This explains why you spirited him away.


Yes. He was once a depressed exorcist - they're not very good at lifting spirits.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/07/2014 22:15:55

By the way, was Phil Specter a jeux?


(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/5776220672/h22AAD2DE/)



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/07/2014 09:58:55
A jeux - Gesundheit!    (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Flaughing%2Fpointing-and-laughing.gif&hash=91f17168c5a08b16b4ceced2d09b0aa7)





That's just a tissue of lies.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/07/2014 10:12:41
Today is National 'Get out of the Doghouse Day'.

I have increased the font size of that so you ken all see it clearly.

Personally, I see no point in getting out of the dog house today, only to be back in it again tomorrow.(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Fsad%2Fupset-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=6267cec87cdaf7cb07a4766d088f3b6c)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/07/2014 20:45:53
Today is National 'Get out of the Doghouse Day'.

I have increased the font size of that so you ken all see it clearly.

Personally, I see no point in getting out of the dog house today, only to be back in it again tomorrow.(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Fsad%2Fupset-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=6267cec87cdaf7cb07a4766d088f3b6c)



Bell, Bark and Kennel, a novel by Ivan Pavlov, chronicles the growth of the dog house conglomerate known as The Salivation Army.

Dognations accepted.



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/07/2014 21:16:23

A jeux - Gesundheit!    (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Flaughing%2Fpointing-and-laughing.gif&hash=91f17168c5a08b16b4ceced2d09b0aa7)

That's just a tissue of lies.


That accusation is nothing to sneeze at!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/07/2014 21:27:02
"Ah Chu Gan: Executive Profile & Biography - Businessweek
investing.businessweek.com/.../person.as...
Background*. Mr. Ah Chu Gan serves as Head of financial management of Acoustech Bhd."

He must call special attention to himself when he sneezes!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/07/2014 16:21:11
Once again, Demo wins the race by a nose.

Join in folks, I'm sure you know the words.......

For sneeze a jolly good fellow, for sneeze a jolly good fellow,
For sneeze a jolly good fellow, and so say all of us.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/07/2014 16:31:49
In Spanish, a sneeze might be described as a storm you dah out of your nose.

Sneeze (Eng) = Estornudar (Esp)

In Germany they say "I'm sniesen."

Norwegians quite like it, describing it as "Quite nyse."

The Swedes are even more keen, describing it as "Much nysa."

Ah ha! Multilingual puns a go-go.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/07/2014 16:43:28
The Salivation Army.

That's aslobbering a thought as I can think of.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/07/2014 16:54:47

Yes. He was once a depressed exorcist - they're not very good at lifting spirits.


I slipped as I tried to take the top off my breakfast boiled egg this morning. Now I have an egg saw cist.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/07/2014 17:01:12
Today is National Hammock Day.

I tried to get my neighbours to use the hammock I'd set up in their garden, but they couldn't get in to it and just ended up running hamok.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/07/2014 17:12:08
I am very critical of the pet trade. Just the other day I felt it necessary to admonish a pet shop owner for the state of the rabbit run. "Just look", I said, "there's hay muck all over the place."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/07/2014 17:20:37
Out for a spot of lunch, I noticed the unusual starter on the menu and called it to my friend's attention.
"Hey! Mock turtle soup." I exclaimed.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/07/2014 17:24:26
I asked Jock if he liked smoked bacon.
He replied, "Ham! Och aye, its a bonny sandwich filler."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/07/2014 01:59:54

Norwegians quite like it, describing it as "Quite nyse


NYSE? Why not Nasdaq ???????
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/07/2014 02:43:01
Today is National Hammock Day.

I tried to get my neighbours to use the hammock  I'd set up in their garden, but they couldn't get in to it and just ended up running hamok.


HAMMOCK: Aren't you simply “ Making fun of a slice of lunch meat ”??????
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/07/2014 02:50:40

I asked Jock if he liked smoked bacon.
He replied, "Ham! Och aye, its a bonny sandwich filler."


My famous bacon soup recipe began as an add hock meal.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/07/2014 08:22:21

HAMMOCK: Aren't you simply “ Making fun of a slice of lunch meat ”??????


Perish the thought........
No, no, I assure you I would never do such a cruel thing to any cut of meat, especially a ham hock.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/07/2014 08:28:11

I asked Jock if he liked smoked bacon.
He replied, "Ham! Och aye, its a bonny sandwich filler."


My famous bacon soup recipe began as an add hock meal.


You could get drunk on Granny's soup because she would add hock to it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/07/2014 19:33:58

I asked Jock if he liked smoked bacon.
He replied, "Ham! Och aye, its a bonny sandwich filler."


My famous bacon soup recipe began as an add hock meal.


You could get drunk on Granny's soup because she would add hock to it.


When the adamant hockey player came home he gave his wife a puck on the cheek.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/07/2014 10:44:32

I asked Jock if he liked smoked bacon.
He replied, "Ham! Och aye, its a bonny sandwich filler."


My famous bacon soup recipe began as an add hock meal.


You could get drunk on Granny's soup because she would add hock to it.


When the adamant hockey player came home he gave his wife a puck on the cheek.




Phew! Glad your spelling's up to scratch, otherwise that could have been an unfortunate and embarrassing post.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/07/2014 10:51:25

......... he gave his wife a puck on the cheek.


That seems fair e (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puck_(mythology))nough.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/07/2014 11:08:35

When the adamant hockey player

Wasn't he some naff pop star of the 70's & 80's? Adam Ant (http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/guys-in-make-up/images/2223978/title/adam-ant-photo).

No, wait, it was that feeble (hence now cult) BBC rubbish from the 60's Adam Adamant (http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/classic/adamant/). Gads! I fear I can say I well remember that programme. IT WAS AWFUL!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/07/2014 04:15:13

When the adamant hockey player


Altoids made a calculator.

They called it Adamant. (Add-a-mint)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fshop.altoids.com%2Fimages%2Fprod1.png&hash=4331ddcfd9257b26b5c2a7a0d0790dba)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/07/2014 06:17:24

Today is National Hammock Day.

I tried to get my neighbours to use the hammock I'd set up in their garden, but they couldn't get in to it and just ended up running hamok.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FMobile%2520Uploads%2F6CA54358-1F79-4010-B6EC-7D2E700F9ABB.jpg&hash=038fca637634fe3f62b97bfc80af6a6d)

Banana hammock!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/07/2014 11:20:04
How many times must I tell you, you must ban Anna from the hammock. Besides all else, if she falls out, she will split on you.
In the 'Rear of the Year' competition, Anna, one judge commented, was "of right ass".
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/07/2014 11:38:15
Toady is Talk in an Elevator Day.

Should result in some uplifting conversation, unless you talk out your a*** (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TtZgs8k8dU).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/07/2014 08:35:48

Today is Talk in an Elevator Day.

Should result in some uplifting conversation, unless you talk out your a*** (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TtZgs8k8dU).


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.geekalerts.com%2Fu%2FFarting-in-the-Elevator-is-Wrong-on-So-Many-Levels-T-Shirt.jpg&hash=5773fbecbbb3f3e1418b7f6482669d7d)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/07/2014 08:42:42

How many times must I tell you, you must ban Anna from the hammock. Besides all else, if she falls out, she will split on you.
In the 'Rear of the Year' competition, Anna, one judge commented, was "of right ass".


Me? I would only ban Anna if you offered me a free cream pie!


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.buzznet.com%2Fassets%2Fimgx%2F2%2F0%2F9%2F4%2F5%2F3%2F5%2F5%2Forig-20945355.jpg&hash=ece32bde6b2bcb756030f2067064e89e)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/07/2014 17:11:41

.......Anna got gelled......


She was so deeply pleased by her experience, she thought it was angelic.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/07/2014 17:15:55
Today is National Lasagna Day.

Because of her diet regime, alas Angna will not be taking part in the celebrations.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/07/2014 23:54:14
Today is National Lasagna Day.

Because of her diet regime, alas Angna will not be taking part in the celebrations.


Leftover spaghetti is pasta its prime.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/07/2014 00:26:29
Anna must be protected.

At all costs.

<solemn>
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/07/2014 04:38:42

Today is National Lasagna Day.

Because of her diet regime, alas Angna will not be taking part in the celebrations.


Q: What does an Irishman get after eating Italian lasagna?

A: Gaelic breath!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/07/2014 12:51:23

Today is National Lasagna Day.

Because of her diet regime, alas Angna will not be taking part in the celebrations.


Q: What does an Irishman get after eating Italian lasagna?

A: Gaelic breath!




Phew! For a moment there, I thought you were going to say a carbon arse.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/07/2014 12:55:33
Anna must be protected.

At all costs.

<solemn>

A suspect reptile breeder tried to get Anna to buy a pet, but she turned the tables on the trickster. Oh yes, in the end Anna conned her.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/07/2014 13:16:11
Anna has gone into the ladies undergarment business with a friend. She can now be referred to as a co bra business woman.

I went to visit them and yes naked women were all around.

'Ello, 'ello, 'ello, I thought, as probably a fitting session I can sea going on.

I made a lewd comment about one woman's bosom, but it didn't rattle 'er. She said, "I tied this ribbon to secure my boobs. I find the bow a constrictor of more comfort than some bras."

I confess I was breathing heavy, she said "Please sir pant no more.

C''mon, let's milk this line of punning as best we can. I don't think anyone will grass on us.

I'm off to lunch now. I'll have some pie then try to think of some more snake puns.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/07/2014 01:40:09

.......Anna got gelled......


She was so deeply pleased by her experience, she thought it was angelic.


That's why Brad Pitt makes Angelina jolly!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/07/2014 01:46:44
Anna must be protected.

At all costs.

<solemn>

A suspect reptile breeder tried to get Anna to buy a pet, but she turned the tables on the trickster. Oh yes, in the end Anna conned her.

Anna has gone into the ladies undergarment business with a friend. She can now be referred to as a co bra business woman.

I went to visit them and yes naked women were all around.

'Ello, 'ello, 'ello, I thought, as probably a fitting session I can sea going on.

I made a lewd comment about one woman's bosom, but it didn't rattle 'er. She said, "I tied this ribbon to secure my boobs. I find the bow a constrictor of more comfort than some bras."

I confess I was breathing heavy, she said "Please sir pant no more.

C''mon, let's milk this line of punning as best we can. I don't think anyone will grass on us.

I'm off to lunch now. I'll have some pie then try to think of some more snake puns.



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F52419C70-35A8-45D6-8AE7-44F862231FA2_2.jpg&hash=9a27b2cb6026de7f82deda86a6537e27)



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/07/2014 02:27:36


Anna has gone into the ladies undergarment business with a friend. She can now be referred to as a co bra business woman.


Did you hear about Anna's new dyslexic boyfriend?

He just walked into a bra and got drunk!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/07/2014 03:55:50
Anna has gone into the ladies undergarment business with a friend. She can now be referred to as a co bra business woman.

I went to visit them and yes naked women were all around.

'Ello, 'ello, 'ello, I thought, as probably a fitting session I can sea going on.

I made a lewd comment about one woman's bosom, but it didn't rattle 'er. She said, "I tied this ribbon to secure my boobs. I find the bow a constrictor of more comfort than some bras."

I confess I was breathing heavy, she said "Please sir pant no more.

C''mon, let's milk this line of punning as best we can. I don't think anyone will grass on us.

I'm off to lunch now. I'll have some pie then try to think of some more snake puns.



AWARDED TO DON_1 FOR SUPERIOR SNAKE PUNNING!!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sparklebox.co.uk%2Fsigns-and-labels%2Fcollections%2Fsnakes%2F_wp_generated%2Fpp4d3e823f_02.jpg&hash=8e28d50da3c658c45aedd523c4043b0f)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/07/2014 14:38:13
I'm going to try to adder few more puns here. I'll try not to chicken out.

Cor all snakes are slippery creatures. Some are shy, yes Mam ba they'll gopher you and carpet you if you don't watch your step.

You could end up in big trouble, stil e toe up the bum will have them on the run, especially if you are quick enough to tie pans to their tails before they whip round to bite you.

I am always mindful of what Herr Porsche said when driving through a snake pit, "You must make zure zat your vindscreen vipers are vorking, und never sit by zer side vinder, only by zer vindskreen or rhear vinder."

He told how he had gone to lunch with Otto to discuss the battleship which was to bare his name. "Ve vill be haffing ein schnitzel pie fur lunch." Said Otto as he went to check with the cook.
Porsche told me, "After a few moments undt on his glockenspiel, Otto Von Bismarck ringed py thon zer table. Com undt eat it vhile itz hot."

Alright, who doesn't believe me? You are so wrong, there really IS a Bismarck Ringed Python (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bismarck_ringed_python).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/07/2014 14:41:25
What's that pig doing by the dog food? Oi! get that hog nose out of that dish.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/07/2014 15:06:14
What should I buy Anna for her contributions to the punning thread, how about a garter?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/07/2014 15:08:50
And now for a song.

Ven om calling yoooo oooowooo oooowoooooo,
Vill you answer toooo oooowoooo ooowoooo


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.godlikeproductions.com%2Fsm%2Fcustom%2Fs%2Fn%2F4f4d9f919e.gif&hash=7d2bffa128f6db16bb4896af2126f73a) Paleface sing with forked tongue.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/07/2014 15:36:15
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.gifmix.net%2Fgif.php%3Fimage%3Dindian-gifs%2FINDIANER37.GIF&hash=dd49c99bdeb5549cd275ea3e28797269) Howdy paleface, or should I say bucketface. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-Cn0LgKWX6Go%2FU7VLLiAWT2I%2FAAAAAAAABns%2FD1U1wm4UOJY%2Fs1600%2Ffunny-laughing-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=b7dec37c9388cff24745b947195e0f6e)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fshocked%2Fvery-shocked-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=ac946223d720f60e1b5dc28d7195b472)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/08/2014 03:46:36
What should I buy Anna [as she contributes] to the punning thread, how about a garter?


On the farm a cow's derriere contributes to the dairy air.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/08/2014 04:00:32

Cor all snakes are slippery creatures. Some are shy, yes Mam ba they'll gopher you and carpet you if you don't watch your step.


I invested in the inventor of the shag carpet and made a big pile.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/08/2014 10:10:10

Cor all snakes are slippery creatures. Some are shy, yes Mam ba they'll gopher you and carpet you if you don't watch your step.


I invested in the inventor of the shag carpet and made a big pile.



I started up a new business and was looking for an investor to help with funds.

One potential investor ask me "What lin o you in?"

Though he did invest, after a while, he pulled the rug from under my feet. Another investor said "Don't worry, I willton up the motorway to replace the lost funding. Together we'll ax minster woolyhead."
My Mexican workforce did a Mexican wave and shouted in appreciation, "Underlay, underlay." I felt quite touched.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/08/2014 10:27:02
What should I buy Anna [as she contributes] to the punning thread, how about a garter?


On the farm a cow's derriere contributes to the dairy air.



So you're Friesian out the snake puns eh!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/08/2014 16:56:11

What should I buy Anna for her contributions to the punning thread, how about a garter?


Don_1, please get her the right size this time.

Last time, when you bought her the wrong size (XXL!) bra, Anna got gelled at -- loudly!! -- by the store clerk for returning the HUGE mistake!



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/08/2014 18:47:30
What should I buy Anna [as she contributes] to the punning thread, how about a garter?


On the farm a cow's derriere contributes to the dairy air.



So you're Friesian out the snake puns eh!


S N A K E!!!   

                  S N A K E!!!


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F3C63B432-5E4F-4E3C-B0C3-1A2E13033FCC.gif&hash=fe7f6d2a2b02998b9e98c8f10b039b22)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/08/2014 18:32:19

Alright, who doesn't believe me? You are so wrong, there really IS a Bismarck Ringed Python (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bismarck_ringed_python).


Well, then, how come this Leading Snake Charmer I asked knows nothing about it???

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FCC32D203-0BDA-4EDF-8C9F-52A2E20BA77E.gif&hash=85656843450ae882d4ba5093987e264a)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/08/2014 11:56:38

What should I buy Anna for her contributions to the punning thread, how about a garter?


Don_1, please get her the right size this time.

Last time, when you bought her the wrong size (XXL!) bra, Anna got gelled at -- loudly!! -- by the store clerk for returning the HUGE mistake!





I seem to have goofed again. this time I got a brazier by mistake. I wouldn't mind so much, but I went a long way to coal chest her (http://www.colchesterguide.co.uk/).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/08/2014 12:02:27

Alright, who doesn't believe me? You are so wrong, there really IS a Bismarck Ringed Python (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bismarck_ringed_python).


Well, then, how come this Leading Snake Charmer I asked knows nothing about it???

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FCC32D203-0BDA-4EDF-8C9F-52A2E20BA77E.gif&hash=85656843450ae882d4ba5093987e264a)

That silly old fakir knows nothing.

It looks like he's trying to frighten the life out of that poor snake. Is he the turbanator?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/08/2014 20:01:39

Is he the turbanator?


No, but he has a mean wrist.

A terror wrist!



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/08/2014 16:12:41

What should I buy Anna for her contributions to the punning thread, how about a garter?


Don_1, please get her the right size this time.

Last time, when you bought her the wrong size (XXL!) bra, Anna got gelled at -- loudly!! -- by the store clerk for returning the HUGE mistake!





I seem to have goofed again. this time I got a brazier by mistake. I wouldn't mind so much, but I went a long way to coal chest her (http://www.colchesterguide.co.uk/).

Then I suppose you and Anna will celebrate the gift and stay at the 3 Cups Hotel?

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F41D3B125-03A2-4611-B10D-BCC14641377C.jpg&hash=117b6c3a506b34772bf99212c9e04dfc)



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/08/2014 14:40:37

Then I suppose you and Anna will celebrate the gift and stay at the 3 Cups Hotel?

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F41D3B125-03A2-4611-B10D-BCC14641377C.jpg&hash=117b6c3a506b34772bf99212c9e04dfc)



Only if the cups are made of tri titanium.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F-J4Js84ecH58%2FUbhK3amz_WI%2FAAAAAAABheA%2FAMFjeFt25JU%2Fs640%2F2.jpg&hash=fc769c42f2a1450c8fb783eb86611e97)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/08/2014 22:57:59
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpmcvariety.files.wordpress.com%2F2014%2F08%2Frobin-williams-dead-obit-2.jpg%3Fw%3D670%26amp%3Bh%3D377%26amp%3Bcrop%3D1&hash=6606ea41277cffac78404cf9874f76b2)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/08/2014 02:29:25

Only if the cups are made of tri titanium.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F-J4Js84ecH58%2FUbhK3amz_WI%2FAAAAAAABheA%2FAMFjeFt25JU%2Fs640%2F2.jpg&hash=fc769c42f2a1450c8fb783eb86611e97)






•>>>
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.picgifs.com%2Fgraphics%2Fl%2Flaughing%2Fgraphics-laughing-320375.gif&hash=cd74699eb1ce08e43095e63afa174572)






Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/08/2014 10:58:15
No, no Demo, TRITITANIUM, not 'try Ronald Regan'.

He may not have been in a sci-fi during his Hollywood days, but he came close to The War of the Worlds as the president. He even suggested to UK premier Mrs Thatcher that the US & UK should look into developing weapons using Gama rays. Maggie was quite keen on the idea until she realised it could result in the 'Regan Ray gun'.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fguns%2Flaser-gun.gif&hash=e0ceddf62048c0aa36d2e63bd01f5b29)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/08/2014 11:03:16
And so soon after Robin Williams,

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fe%2Fe2%2FLauren_bacall_promo_photo.jpg%2F220px-Lauren_bacall_promo_photo.jpg&hash=ebd891281d9cb75705dc582ed63d7824)

Betty Joan Perske, better known as Lauren Bacall ; September 16, 1924 – August 12, 2014
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/08/2014 18:14:38
Don_1, with so many people passing, at least we can be thankful that we and our friends are staying forever young!!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedicmagic.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2010%2F06%2Fold_men.jpg&hash=46bf0d9263747622be6ef869ef83b25f)




Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/08/2014 18:27:46
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fguns%2Flaser-gun.gif&hash=e0ceddf62048c0aa36d2e63bd01f5b29)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.picgifs.com%2Fgraphics%2Fl%2Flaughing%2Fgraphics-laughing-320375.gif&hash=cd74699eb1ce08e43095e63afa174572)
"Reagan Ray Gun!!"


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/08/2014 07:12:01
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.hdcartoonwp.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2014%2F05%2Fwpid-free-disney-frozen-wallpapers-anna-frozen-wallpapers-hd-hd-cartoon-wallpapers.jpg&hash=53ff2e4e44490f57a515659115ab109d)

Don_1, she is annaticipating your gift and celebration!

Don't keep her in suspense!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/08/2014 07:19:16


Is he the turbanator?


All these puns about turbans are making me Sikh.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/08/2014 10:59:38


Is he the turbanator?


All these puns about turbans are making me Sikh.

Oh I know what you mean. Its my neighbour who is to blame, the one with all the cats.
Buddah not to worry, his time is about due, I'm going to muzzle him, the silly old cat-a-holic. I'll creep up from behind do it and scarper before he cries t' Ian for help. It wont be until I slam the door behind me that he will be able to page Anna for help.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/08/2014 00:25:44


Is he the turbanator?


All these puns about turbans are making me Sikh.

Oh I know what you mean. Its my neighbour who is to blame, the one with all the cats.
Buddah not to worry, his time is about due, I'm going to muzzle him, the silly old cat-a-holic. I'll creep up from behind do it and scarper before he cries t' Ian for help. It wont be until I slam the door behind me that he will be able to page Anna for help.

Don_1 easily walks away with The Supreme Multi-Religious Tolerance Award of the Century !!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFF9F3A05-1A5A-4A23-A446-5F530D0F58DE.gif&hash=36deb3e1dc5c1f5a630549611b9dfb47)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/08/2014 10:07:22

Don_1 easily walks away with The Supreme Multi-Religious Tolerance Award of the Century !!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FFF9F3A05-1A5A-4A23-A446-5F530D0F58DE.gif&hash=36deb3e1dc5c1f5a630549611b9dfb47)



How magnanimous of you. I trust there will be an Award Ceremony; I should like Anna's uncles to come with their wives so I can give to all 'er aunts a gift.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/08/2014 10:31:13
British comic Tim Vine, who already holds the record for the most jokes cracked in an hour, has yet again delivered the funniest joke of the Edinburgh Festival.
In 2010  his crack "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again." won him the accolade, this year he walked away the award again with this one-liner: "I decided to sell my Hoover... well it was just collecting dust."
Well done Tim. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Fhappy%2Fcheering-clapping-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=9bc6f7b98a04d768a838b27028c9f1ca)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/08/2014 10:43:55
Today is National Aviation Day.

So we should all get off to a flying start, not just try to get by on a wing and a prayer.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/08/2014 14:03:24
Today is National Aviation Day.

So we should all get off to a flying start, not just try to get by on a wing and a prayer.

Don't expect to eat something fancy when you're flying because it's plane food.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/08/2014 10:14:38
Today is National Aviation Day.

So we should all get off to a flying start, not just try to get by on a wing and a prayer.

Don't expect to eat something fancy when you're flying because it's plane food.


I had the baguette with a jumbo sausage.

Tea & coffee was served in a china cup on a flying saucer.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/08/2014 02:41:22
Today is National Aviation Day.

So we should all get off to a flying start, not just try to get by on a wing and a prayer.

Don't expect to eat something fancy when you're flying because it's plane food.


I had the baguette with a jumbo sausage.

Tea & coffee was served in a china cup on a flying saucer.

But -- upon landing/arrival -- no Free Saucer Ride??? Hmph...next time I'll just fly in a private plane! (I have a pilot friend in the UK who might let me fly with him -- AND HIS INSTRUCTOR!!!)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FBBF7FC75-33E7-438B-AD1F-9D63C42576FB.gif&hash=421b293ced1a590e4bf86202af113e79)




Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/08/2014 22:07:10

 (I have a pilot friend in the UK who might let me fly with him -- AND HIS INSTRUCTOR!!!)


 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/08/2014 01:35:57

 (I have a pilot friend in the UK who might let me fly with him -- AND HIS INSTRUCTOR!!!)


 [ Invalid Attachment ]

I'm ready!

Volunteer #1 from Punning Thread!

Living will/trust modified to date!!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/08/2014 05:18:20


Well, sort of textbook landing, but for one point.


Oh, c'mon, that's close enough!

Don't be such a pairfectionist!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/08/2014 05:26:38


Today is National Aviation Day.


I just don't get puns about aviation.

They're usually way over my head.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/08/2014 05:18:30
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.hdcartoonwp.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2014%2F05%2Fwpid-free-disney-frozen-wallpapers-anna-frozen-wallpapers-hd-hd-cartoon-wallpapers.jpg&hash=53ff2e4e44490f57a515659115ab109d)

Don_1, she is annaticipating your gift and celebration!

Don't keep her in suspense!

No word from you .

Now she is annaoyed!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/08/2014 11:15:03
So sorry for the delay, but I have been pondering what might be a suitable gift.

I ruled out a life size model of Noah's boat as I fear she might be the cause of a mutiny. We can do without any Ann arky.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/08/2014 11:22:27
I have settled on this for her:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sciencemuseumshop.co.uk%2Fassets%2F%2Bsize%3A400%3A400%3Aclip%2F%2Bv%3Ac9b4a9%2Fproduct%2F327862_1.JPG&hash=40e139c18f740f50291c741b36321907)

Now she will be able to annalyse things.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/08/2014 23:44:40
But...but...but....all that focus could make her...annal !
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/08/2014 00:01:49
Besides, too much annalysis leads to paralysis!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/08/2014 04:16:31
I have settled on this for her:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sciencemuseumshop.co.uk%2Fassets%2F%2Bsize%3A400%3A400%3Aclip%2F%2Bv%3Ac9b4a9%2Fproduct%2F327862_1.JPG&hash=40e139c18f740f50291c741b36321907)

Now she will be able to annalyse things.

Silly move, Don_1: now she will find out if there really is any chemistry between you two!

Oh well, you can always have a "Nice To Know You" finale/dinner/ahem at The Three Cups Hotel!

Bon nuit!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/08/2014 09:44:50

Silly move, Don_1: now she will find out if there really is any chemistry between you two!

Bon nuit!

Oh my! I hadn't considered that might be the reaction. It could cause all salts of problems.

Perhaps I should get her a new car instead. Her's got damaged while racing with a friend. She got pasted to the wall when, accidentally of course, passing at some speed Anna clipt her (http://www.anaglypta.co.uk/) off side rear bumper (US = fender).

Yes, that's it, I've cracked it. I'll give her the keys and say "Here's your new car Bon voyage.

What clever little sod I um.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/08/2014 09:58:45
In an effort to conserve energy, I have devised a means of lighting the house during the long winter nights, with an exercise rowing machine.
I call it the nit ro generator.
But I must find a way to stop the cat from chlorine at the cables.
Also I need to find the optimum seat position, cause man g knees get achy with all that pedalling.
Once I iron out the details I'll give a full report in what I hope will be a post which wont be boron the pants off one & all.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/08/2014 18:22:18

Silly move, Don_1: now she will find out if there really is any chemistry between you two!

Bon nuit!

Oh my! I hadn't considered that might be the reaction. It could cause all salts of problems.

Perhaps I should get her a new car instead. Her's got damaged while racing with a friend. She got pasted to the wall when, accidentally of course, passing at some speed Anna clipt her (http://www.anaglypta.co.uk/) off side rear bumper (US = fender).

Yes, that's it, I've cracked it. I'll give her the keys and say "Here's your new car Bon voyage.

What clever little sod I um.
In an effort to conserve energy, I have devised a means of lighting the house during the long winter nights, with an exercise rowing machine.
I call it the nit ro generator.
But I must find a way to stop the cat from chlorine at the cables.
Also I need to find the optimum seat position, cause man g knees get achy with all that pedalling.
Once I iron out the details I'll give a full report in what I hope will be a post which wont be boron the pants off one & all.


I don't have the slightest clue how Don_1 manages to rack up so many awards. Now a Chemistry Award !! The Award Committee will go broke if this keeps up !

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F9DBF5C90-239A-4440-AF0B-EC480BAA5B2E.jpg&hash=d8d429b42cad7e760e8801ae8bd33689)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/08/2014 20:14:33

Silly move, Don_1: now she will find out if there really is any chemistry between you two!

Bon nuit!

Oh my! I hadn't considered that might be the reaction. It could cause all salts of problems.

Perhaps I should get her a new car instead. Her's got damaged while racing with a friend. She got pasted to the wall when, accidentally of course, passing at some speed Anna clipt her (http://www.anaglypta.co.uk/) off side rear bumper (US = fender).

Yes, that's it, I've cracked it. I'll give her the keys and say "Here's your new car Bon voyage.

What clever little sod I um.

Oh, c'mon, Don_1, can't you do better than THIS????

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F5300119B-A6B6-4EDE-A170-D3B321F67FA5.jpg&hash=87fc81520b8df4707a4ca74030da6991)


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FE7885D6B-3E5C-4045-9F76-02FB52C4950D.png&hash=8fa23696ecf0d2ebe95aef0e2c806b50)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/08/2014 15:15:51

Oh, c'mon, Don_1, can't you do better than THIS????

 [ Invalid Attachment ]


Indeed yes I can do better than that.

That's only a toy ota, I'm going to get a real ota.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/08/2014 19:05:22

That's only a toy ota, I'm going to get a real ota.


You're right. I ota know more about these things!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/08/2014 21:25:05

That's only a toy ota, I'm going to get a real ota.


You're right. I ota know more about these things!

But I haven't an iota of a clue how to learn.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/08/2014 10:14:55
Then I shall give you a clue - 3.

If you need some iota, take letter 3 and add 3, thus:
t + 3 = w. Therefore iota - t + w = Iowa

You must enrol at the Iowa State University department for the clueless, just as I did.
Do yourself a favour (US = favour), don't mention my name to the bursar, because I owe 'er some money.

I am thinking of getting all new teeth implants. I have chosen a dental practice in Boston to fit this new mass of chew sets.

I have laid a new multi coloured random pattern carpet. this helps the flor 'ide a heap of sins.

The wife has starched my shirt. I asked her not to do it again because it makes the collar 'ard, o.

The father of the bride thought he would give his daughter one last chance to change her mind. He thought 'As we walk down the aisle ask 'er if she is doing the right thing'.

The current state of affairs around the world seems to bring nothing but Missouri to innocent defenceless people.

Walking around the antique shop, my eye was caught by a large ceramic pot. "Why o ming vase!" I exclaimed.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/08/2014 10:20:29
I must get off to the dry cleaner's now, with all the rain we have had lately, I have had to wear my mac frequently and it got splashed with mud, so now da kot a bit of a mess.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/08/2014 10:24:02
I have a cardboard model of the city of Hartford to assemble. The instructions say that where two pieces connect I cut along the dotted line.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/08/2014 10:27:24
My neighbour has considerable trouble with weeds in his garden. He asked me if he should just dig it all over. I told him I'd a hoe he could borrow.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/08/2014 10:30:52
If you named a mountain after Anna, would it be Mount Anna?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/08/2014 10:36:37
The tin mine was just about depleted. The prospectors cried out "Where has all the ore gon?"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/08/2014 10:40:55
I couldn't choose which attraction to visit next, so I got a map, closed my eyes and stuck in a pin, thinking the rhode island on will be my next destination.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/08/2014 10:44:49
"I tell you, I sent one dozen rolls to you." Said the baker. I replied, "Well, ten I see, but no more."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/08/2014 10:47:14
East is east and west is west and neva da twain shall meet.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/08/2014 10:53:13
Before I make you all ill I nois  what you want. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NztfOSyCCFM)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/08/2014 14:14:21

That's only a toy ota, I'm going to get a real ota.


You're right. I ota know more about these things!

But I haven't an iota of a clue how to learn.


Then I shall give you a clue - 3.

If you need some iota, take letter 3 and add 3, thus:
t + 3 = w. Therefore iota - t + w = Iowa

You must enrol at the Iowa State University department for the clueless, just as I did.
Do yourself a favour (US = favour), don't mention my name to the bursar, because I owe 'er some money.

I am thinking of getting all new teeth implants. I have chosen a dental practice in Boston to fit this new mass of chew sets.

I have laid a new multi coloured random pattern carpet. this helps the flor 'ide a heap of sins.

The wife has starched my shirt. I asked her not to do it again because it makes the collar 'ard, o.

The father of the bride thought he would give his daughter one last chance to change her mind. He thought 'As we walk down the aisle ask 'er if she is doing the right thing'.

The current state of affairs around the world seems to bring nothing but Missouri to innocent defenceless people.

Walking around the antique shop, my eye was caught by a large ceramic pot. "Why o ming vase!" I exclaimed.


Now I get Don_1's drift: I'll enroll at Io[t+3]a State, take ten classes 'e sees fit for me to attend, then buy a new jersey to wear to class.

Who knows? Maybe I'll meet a high tech sassy one to guide me through.

And my friend Mary may land me a teaching position there some day!



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/08/2014 14:32:15
The train conductor was impatient with this woman who was dawdling around the entrance to the train, so he blew his whistle and shouted, "All aboard, ma'am!"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/08/2014 15:15:06
The train conductor was impatient with this woman who was dawdling around the entrance to the train, so he blew his whistle and shouted, "All aboard, ma'am!"

Ha! waii do some people always dither? They seem to always want to be the maine attraction.

What sort of trouble might she cause if she were going by car o' liner?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/08/2014 15:16:39
I've got my coat back from the cleaners. They've been washing tons of mud off it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/08/2014 15:20:53
I realised it was an unholy scam and told the trickster I was wise to con sinners.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/08/2014 15:24:09
The Polish girl seem about right for the job, so I decided to pencil Vania in for it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/08/2014 15:32:06
As I walked by the ladies intimate apparel shop, a garment flew out of the door and struck me on the leg.

"OUCH!!!" I cried out, "My knee, bras kan hurt when travelling at speed."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/08/2014 15:34:19
Kenneth always dressed like a slob, I don't know how many times I've said, "Ken tucky in your shirt."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/08/2014 15:36:52
Demo asked me to contact him, so I said, "Call, I fone ya tomorrow.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/08/2014 15:38:47
Who ate my porridge?

Its in d Anna.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/08/2014 15:42:32
Kenneth was once again dressed like a slob. "Why don't you wear something stylish?" I asked. He said, "This shirt is brand new."
"NEW???" I quizzed, "New yor kidding me."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/08/2014 15:52:50
Right, let's see if yar kan sas out which states are left while I do some cleaning.

WOA!!!! There I was cleaning the WC when I looked up and on the loo I see Anna.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/08/2014 16:07:27
Well, I hope I don't get hauled up before Judge Perry (http://judgepedia.org/Mitch_Perry) because of my WC encounter. But even if I do, I'll just say 'Look Judge,' or perhaps be more friendly with him and say 'Look Mitch I can explain'.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/08/2014 19:54:36

I've got my coat back from the cleaners. They've been washing tons of mud off it.


I bet you had red skins from all that hardened mud!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kcconfidential.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F10%2F5890_128430656203_5047510_n.jpg&hash=e1501da6d99e41f0ec73caac20037e9f)



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/08/2014 20:05:10

What sort of trouble might she cause if she were going by car o' liner?


The type of trouble she might cause depends on whether she goes North or South!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/08/2014 20:25:17

Demo asked me to contact him, so I said, "Call, I fone ya tomorrow.


Skip it. You always reverse the charges!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fen%2F6%2F69%2FStop_sign%28standard%29.svg&hash=f0711e5673c8ac9bd1ada91a430f6088)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/08/2014 02:21:22



WOA!!!! There I was cleaning the WC when I looked up and on the loo I see Anna.


Sign in the bar -- over the loo:

   WE AIM TO PLEASE
YOU AIM TOO, PLEASE!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/08/2014 04:28:32


WOA!!!! There I was cleaning the WC when I looked up and on the loo I see Anna.


Are you sure it isn't Lucy you see?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/08/2014 13:21:34


WOA!!!! There I was cleaning the WC when I looked up and on the loo I see Anna.


Are you sure it isn't Lucy you see?

Oh no! I kan sas out who I was looking at, but I have now explained to her that I didn't mean to pek at all.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/08/2014 13:23:48
As Mary landed, Anna polised the crowd of onlookers.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/08/2014 13:25:37
Being really hungry, I said to Ken, tucky in to your Frankforta.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/08/2014 13:33:44
The cleaners had not done a very good job on my trousers nor the hat & da kot a had entrusted to them. I took it all back to them to point out their failings. "Just look" I said, "at bis marck here!"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/08/2014 13:39:36
On the flor I'd a large model of a Giraffe. Demo came to look at it and exclaimed "Tall ah as seen on wild life programmes."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/08/2014 13:44:33
Sometimes you can feel quite ill in oisy situations, such as the spring filled atmosphere of deer rutting.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/08/2014 13:52:28
Abdul didn't know whether to speak to the calif or near imam about sacking all the children working near the harem and if he should sac ra men too.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/09/2014 03:55:59

She thought she was living in a major, cultural "hotspot" American city in Minnesota, but actually my aunt's home city was jokingly known as Minnie no place.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/09/2014 04:13:35

Abdul didn't know whether to speak to the calif or near imam about sacking all the children working near the harem and if he should sac ra men too.

The Globetrotters made the large NYC neighborhood harlem famous.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftheqarena.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fimg%2Fharlem-globetrotters-131228-660.jpg&hash=b6a22378f5e8c6b270b05c4d001bf1af)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/09/2014 04:21:42
On the flor I'd a large model of a Giraffe. Demo came to look at it and exclaimed "Tall ah as seen on wild life programmes."

I also said, "Oh My!am I ever impressed!"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/09/2014 05:27:14

As Mary landed, Anna polised the crowd of onlookers.

Then Anna said, "If you're tired carrying on, just pass the ball ti more!"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/09/2014 16:31:40
If an Australian Stannum prospector digs in Texas, would it be an Aus tin mine? (Fort what its Worth.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/09/2014 16:36:02
Can't think of any more Texan puns for now, so El Passo it on to you Demo.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/09/2014 16:38:33
I think it would be a good idea to put a large clock tower with a deep resounding bell in it in Big Bend National Reserve.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/09/2014 16:42:38
In a Texas Panhandle High School a young lady was observed running around naked from the waste up. A tutor shouted to her "HEY! Gal, vest on please."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/09/2014 00:38:20


Can't think of any more Texan puns for now, so El Passo it on to you Demo.


Are Hyou stoned, Don_1? You know I dally my ass when there's no pressure, but now I feel the need to get religion so I'll move and pray to Corpus Christi to fill my head with puns!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/09/2014 01:03:31
SHHHHhhhh, don't let on to Demo, he thinks he is safe from my entrapping him, but I'll lure him into my lare doe.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/09/2014 01:06:36
The garden is looking untidy, al a mow the lawn tomorrow.

I think that's the best plano the day.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/09/2014 01:13:49
Perhaps the garden might look better if the windows were clean, Another job for tomorrow. I'll buff a low window to start with, but right now I'm going to bed ford a goodley night's sleep.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/09/2014 03:56:14


Can't think of any more Texan puns for now, so El Passo it on to you Demo.


Are Hyou stoned, Don_1?


New Yorkers can't even pronounce it right!

They call it HOUSEton Street!  [:(]


(https://interestinginnyc.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/img_2562.jpg)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/09/2014 13:08:35
How do they arrive at that pronunciation?

They should be made aware of what that Biblical chap is alleged to have said. It goes something like "Whoever is without sin, hu stone first."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/09/2014 13:16:17
I understand that in Annapolis, the state governor is to pass environmental laws to bring an end to a lunatic fad in which fishmongers mar eel and shell fish before selling them.

Did Juneau that? Well al ask er what its all about.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/09/2014 13:22:31
Well I'd a ho, these fishermen eh! Well boise will be boise.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/09/2014 13:25:30
And in NV, a new motoring organisation has said neva da cars on city roads should exceed 25mph.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/09/2014 20:30:42


Did Juneau that? Well al ask er what its all about.


Young people need an anchor in life that goes deeper than just age and good looks.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/09/2014 20:34:06
What's new about Mexico these days?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/09/2014 20:39:11
Did you hear about the Italian Supervisor Harry's new zone-a rules-a?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/09/2014 20:46:35
Don_1 sees Demo on the street and says, "O hi, don't I know you from somewhere?"


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/09/2014 20:52:22
Writing with a broken pencil is vain and pointless, ya know?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/09/2014 20:56:44
Did you hear that Anna rhode to an exotic island and took her chemistry set with her?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/09/2014 23:33:22

Can't think of any more Texan puns for now.



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F101tees.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F10%2Ftexas.gif&hash=bfdc267a96801bd0e2aea41888cdf074)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/09/2014 18:18:57
And in NV, a new motoring organisation has said neva da cars on city roads should exceed 25mph.





(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpersephonemagazine.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F01%2Fshirley-temple-giggles.gif&hash=c9c72daa4f8f51ca0d7fca5787f4406c)
"Don_1 is soooo funny"





Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/09/2014 02:33:59


The cleaners had not done a very good job on my trousers nor the hat & da kot a had entrusted to them. I took it all back to them to point out their failings. "Just look" I said, "at bis marck here!"




(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fparkwaydrycleaning.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2Fbest-dry-cleaner.jpg&hash=f03059251cfcea5beae1bf17a8d45b4e)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 15/09/2014 07:33:16
"Who are you?" the reporter asked the lady linked to the arm of the movie star.  She replied "I da ho."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/09/2014 11:35:06
"Who are you?" the reporter asked the lady linked to the arm of the movie star.  She replied "I da ho."

That's a gem, stone me if it ain't.

She was da ho alright, she's after all the boise

Mind you, that movie star she was tagging along with was a real burley character.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/09/2014 20:23:16
"Who are you?" the reporter asked the lady linked to the arm of the movie star.  She replied "I da ho."

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flibrary.osu.edu%2Fprojects%2Fbennett-in-japan%2Fimages%2Ffull%2F04%2F6.jpg&hash=ea815ce3596b2184e5bacf453c5c05f4)
"I da ho"     "No I da ho!"        "No I da ho!"

Edit: Not everyone agrees that Idaho potatoes are superior!

Snobbery?



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/09/2014 20:56:12
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.fiskars.eu%2Fvar%2Ffiskars_emea%2Fstorage%2Fimages%2Ffrontpage2%2Fgardening-yard-care%2Fproducts%2Fmulti-head-tool-system%2Fcultivating%2F136502-fiskars-dutch-hoe-130mm%2F14758-80-eng-EU%2F136502-Fiskars-Dutch-Hoe-130mm.jpg&hash=808b5ea40102fea27114b4894c278629)No, I da hoe.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.fiskars.eu%2Fvar%2Ffiskars_emea%2Fstorage%2Fimages%2Ffrontpage2%2Fgardening-yard-care%2Fproducts%2Fmulti-head-tool-system%2Fcultivating%2F136502-fiskars-dutch-hoe-130mm%2F14758-80-eng-EU%2F136502-Fiskars-Dutch-Hoe-130mm.jpg&hash=808b5ea40102fea27114b4894c278629)No, I da hoe.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.fiskars.eu%2Fvar%2Ffiskars_emea%2Fstorage%2Fimages%2Ffrontpage2%2Fgardening-yard-care%2Fproducts%2Fmulti-head-tool-system%2Fcultivating%2F136502-fiskars-dutch-hoe-130mm%2F14758-80-eng-EU%2F136502-Fiskars-Dutch-Hoe-130mm.jpg&hash=808b5ea40102fea27114b4894c278629)Can't we share?

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fstatic.fiskars.eu%2Fvar%2Ffiskars_emea%2Fstorage%2Fimages%2Ffrontpage2%2Fgardening-yard-care%2Fproducts%2Fmulti-head-tool-system%2Fcultivating%2F136502-fiskars-dutch-hoe-130mm%2F14758-80-eng-EU%2F136502-Fiskars-Dutch-Hoe-130mm.jpg&hash=808b5ea40102fea27114b4894c278629)OK, we'll go Dutch.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/09/2014 04:12:48
So who da hoe??????????????
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/09/2014 07:53:29
So who da hoe??????????????

Weheeel *HIC* I da ho. ***HIC***

EEEeeeny whay, Ho chars eeeny whay ***HIC***

 [ Invalid Attachment ]  (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-eatdrink060.gif&hash=2892b9abcad1d7d83e1c488cacc71215) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/09/2014 07:57:38
I launched my Dutch hoe 'javelin' style, aimed at Holland, from the surface of the Moon, but it neder landed.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/09/2014 17:36:12
I launched my Dutch hoe 'javelin' style, aimed at Holland, from the surface of the Moon, but it neder landed.

Norway that could ever happen!

The Dutch hoe should have landed and hit denmark!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/09/2014 17:51:37
So who da hoe??????????????

Weheeel *HIC* I da ho. ***HIC***

EEEeeeny whay, Ho chars eeeny whay ***HIC***

 [ Invalid Attachment ]  (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-eatdrink060.gif&hash=2892b9abcad1d7d83e1c488cacc71215) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

I hope you fired the floor refinishers.

They simply could not hold their lacquer.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/09/2014 05:44:07
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffc07.deviantart.net%2Ffs70%2Fi%2F2013%2F333%2F5%2Fd%2Fallie_ho_ho_ho_by_mild2wild_studios-d6w45yd.png&hash=02193e013b95d53c2b7ca6f98dc7a7e0)

Ho no ! It's too early for Christmas!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/09/2014 08:43:01
I launched my Dutch hoe 'javelin' style, aimed at Holland, from the surface of the Moon, but it neder landed.

Norway that could ever happen!

The Dutch hoe should have landed and hit denmark!




Could that be? Did I miss the landing?

I shall have to scan d neighvours
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/09/2014 08:46:04

I hope you fired the floor refinishers.

They simply could not hold their lacquer.


Not only that, but they couldn't do the job. They just kept on whining.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/09/2014 09:00:47
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffc07.deviantart.net%2Ffs70%2Fi%2F2013%2F333%2F5%2Fd%2Fallie_ho_ho_ho_by_mild2wild_studios-d6w45yd.png&hash=02193e013b95d53c2b7ca6f98dc7a7e0)

Ho no ! It's too early for Christmas!!

Wow! What a stocking filler........ and a bra filler....... and a hot pants filler.......

Calm down lad, before you make a fool of yourself.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.augiedoggy.com%2FSmilies%2Fhot.gif&hash=604ff5b3be82e5ed0e4fc0d78929689c)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/09/2014 13:48:43
Are you trying to say that she's one real hot potato from Idaho?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/09/2014 03:00:03
I launched my Dutch hoe 'javelin' style, aimed at Holland, from the surface of the Moon, but it neder landed.

Norway that could ever happen!

The Dutch hoe should have landed and hit denmark!




Could that be? Did I miss the landing?

I shall have to scan d neighvours

US = scan d neighvors
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/09/2014 09:49:35
I am much indebted to my American translator.

Just to put a spanner in the works however:-

Welsh - Cymdogion
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/09/2014 16:29:29
I am much indebted to my American translator.

Just to put a spanner in the works however:-

Welsh - Cymdogion


Well, she bugs you all the time, but Anna really does care for you.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/09/2014 08:43:28
Well, she bugs you all the time,

Indeed and she wails at the top of her voice, "What are we going to do?"

My usual reply is "When I come, ah then (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carmarthen) you'll find out."

The usual thing is we sing:

One man gwent to mow,
Gwent to mow a meadow.
One man two men and his dog,
Gwent to mow a meadow.


Why she asks I'll never know, because its never dyffryn (http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/dyffryn-gardens/)t.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/09/2014 08:58:33
Ah yes, Carmarthen, the place to take your horse for Caer fy rddin (care free ridding)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.groundspeak.com%2Fwaymarking%2Fdisplay%2F9fd8311f-0290-4a91-b9a9-c9457e7c18d2.JPG&hash=1c781551020d0596f43a6efee6325fc7)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/09/2014 09:04:06
Now that's a rare bit (http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/welsh_rarebit_05821) of Welsh punning.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/09/2014 17:09:36
Well, she bugs you all the time,
Ah yes, Carmarthen, the place to take your horse for Caer fy rddin (care free ridding)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg.groundspeak.com%2Fwaymarking%2Fdisplay%2F9fd8311f-0290-4a91-b9a9-c9457e7c18d2.JPG&hash=1c781551020d0596f43a6efee6325fc7)

Indeed and she wails at the top of her voice, "What are we going to do?"

My usual reply is "When I come, ah then (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carmarthen) you'll find out."

The usual thing is we sing:

One man gwent to mow,
Gwent to mow a meadow.
One man two men and his dog,
Gwent to mow a meadow.


Why she asks I'll never know, because its never dyffryn (http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/dyffryn-gardens/)t.
Now that's a rare bit (http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/welsh_rarebit_05821) of Welsh punning.

Don_1 Wins Award Again !!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fblogiau.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F11%2F2014-Welsh-Blog-Awards.jpg&hash=aabe202e3a08b51ccd112967f3697650)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/09/2014 17:10:28

Where elseh can we find such superb and truly International Punning???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/09/2014 17:41:59
...........and to move north of the border:-



Where elseh can we find such superb and truly International Punning???


What a jockular comment.

I rish you all the best in your multilingual punning.

When it comes down to it, Demo is ger man for it, I tal ia.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/09/2014 17:46:42

Why she asks I'll never know, because its never dyffryn (http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/dyffryn-gardens/)t.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FCCC2838D-BE31-4D91-836A-7521D78CC110.jpg&hash=a3a183f426926eb359670e49f208f439)

Dyffryn Gardens


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/09/2014 17:50:52
Swimming on the river, the pair looked so hungry I threw some bread in for the por two geese.

Not wishing to be wasteful, when I had finished my beer, I licked en stein to ensure it was empty.

These eastern Europeans are so mad about boating, I think they are suffering from row mania.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/09/2014 17:54:20

Why she asks I'll never know, because its never dyffryn (http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/dyffryn-gardens/)t.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FCCC2838D-BE31-4D91-836A-7521D78CC110.jpg&hash=a3a183f426926eb359670e49f208f439)

Dyffryn Gardens




No, no, those are the same gardens.

These are dyffryn gardens:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.avalonschool.co.uk%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F05%2FChelsea-Gardens.jpg&hash=dfa9c3665b98803b37a43a818b9f2bfd)
Chelsea Gardens.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/09/2014 18:08:37


Where elseh can we find such superb and truly International Punning???


What a jockular comment.

I rish you all the best in your multilingual punning.

When it comes down to it, Demo is ger man for it, I tal ia.

And on the Eastern front, korreact me if I'm wrong but Europe-UK-US-Canada is not as ianclusive as it can be.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/09/2014 20:24:50
And are we afraid we cannot do as well with all other countries?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/09/2014 04:37:15

Why she asks I'll never know, because its never dyffryn (http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/dyffryn-gardens/)t.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FCCC2838D-BE31-4D91-836A-7521D78CC110.jpg&hash=a3a183f426926eb359670e49f208f439)

Dyffryn Gardens




No, no, those are the same gardens.

These are dyffryn gardens:
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.avalonschool.co.uk%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F05%2FChelsea-Gardens.jpg&hash=dfa9c3665b98803b37a43a818b9f2bfd)
Chelsea Gardens.

Gorgeous, beautiful -- the Chelsea Gardens!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/09/2014 05:52:05
Sudanly I find myself all over the map. I must get better organized.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/09/2014 07:36:39
Swimming on the river, the pair looked so hungry I threw some bread in for the por two geese.

The nearrow spain of the river gave you the flexibility to do that. Well done.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/09/2014 07:47:21
When I answered the phone, a foreign voice started blabbing on about my bank account being suspended and I needed to give him my account number and security details.
"Oh no you don't," I said, "this is just another attempt at a con, go away."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/09/2014 07:52:29
A local garage has been advertising its auto conversion service, converting petrol engines to run on propane.

Personally I find the whole idea ludicrous. Its just mad a gas car.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/09/2014 08:05:25
Listening to the radio, I heard a beautiful piece played by a string section and wondered what that tune is.


Outside a London pub, a German tourist asked me where he could get an ice cold cola. "Zay charge a vortune fur ein coola in zat platz." He quite rightly said. I directed him to small shop around the corner. As he came back clutching his ice cold can of cola, he said to me, "Zank you. it vos musch cheaper zere zan zi bar."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/09/2014 08:12:56
I'm thinking of setting up an African tanning parlour, but can't think of a suitable name. I would appreciate any suggestions for a name which would convey to passing trade that they can get tanz in 'ere.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/09/2014 08:28:36
Storks on a lush African savannah have been troubled by the rapid rate of grass growth. The seed sticks to the thin layer of keratin which covers the bill and germinates. A lawn on their rostrum is the last thing a stork wants.

So I am volunteering to go to the aid of these birds. My task will be to mow zam beaks. 


Now that's what you call contrived punning.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/09/2014 08:47:02
Hi tech machines making microchips have gone on strike. They have blockaded the factory gates carrying banners, one of which read "Robots wana better deal."

As I sympathise with them, I'm Ghana join them. Kenya spare the time to come along too?

Their main complaint is the lack of tea breaks, but I'm sure there are Mauritius to be dealt with.

A spokesbot said "We are being dealt a rw and a lot of the time."

Reports claim that som a li a victims of persecution and told not to go to the toilet without permission. One witness said "I sen a gal bolt down a robot as a punishment. u ganda believe me."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/09/2014 09:11:26
Now try that old tongue twister:

She sells Seychelles on the sea shore.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/09/2014 01:34:57
I'm thinking of setting up an African tanning parlour, but can't think of a suitable name. I would appreciate any suggestions for a name which would convey to passing trade that they can get tanz in 'ere.

U ganda have a more specific plan !!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/09/2014 05:57:08
Kenya try to figure it out so Donnah and I can follow your plan and make mauritain ia ever dreamed of ?

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/09/2014 21:46:03


A spokesbot said "We are being dealt a rw and a lot of the time."


A counter-spokesbot said "We are being dealt a raw deal and a lot of the time.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/09/2014 22:24:34


A spokesbot said "We are being dealt a rw and a lot of the time."


A counter-spokesbot said "We are being dealt a raw deal and a lot of the time.

Its bad enough getting rw and a lot of the time through (thru) being made to do the washing up, but this pair keeping treading on my feet giving me a sore Tutsi.
Don't look at me coming the old innocent and asking hutu? Its you two!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 26/09/2014 22:28:47


A spokesbot said "We are being dealt a rw and a lot of the time."


A counter-spokesbot said "We are being dealt a raw deal and a lot of the time.

I'd give him a smack on the bottom, that'll give him a raw hide.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/09/2014 23:19:50

I'd give him a smack on the bottom, that'll give him a raw hide.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fen%2F1%2F12%2FRawhide.jpg&hash=55b54fe0c11722fbae2bd5636835a746)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/09/2014 23:26:48


A spokesbot said "We are being dealt a rw and a lot of the time."


A counter-spokesbot said "We are being dealt a raw deal and a lot of the time.

Its bad enough getting rw and a lot of the time through (thru) being made to do the washing up, but this pair keeping treading on my feet giving me a sore Tutsi.
Don't look at me coming the old innocent and asking hutu? Its you two!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs3.amazonaws.com%2Fhalleonard-pagepreviews%2FHL_DDS_0000000000219760.png&hash=d72d994ff84d6657f58b57078041768b)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/09/2014 21:26:34
Al Jolson made that song famous, and Jerry Lee Lewis, a famous Hutu pianist, did a nice cover version of that song.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/09/2014 22:08:21
Today, September 30, is:
Ask A Stupid Question Day

Huh?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/10/2014 16:36:42
Today, September 30, is:
Ask A Stupid Question Day

Huh?

Should I ask today?


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/10/2014 16:48:04
Today is 'Come & Take it Day'.

October

 Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa Su
              1   2  3  4   5
       7    8   9 10  11 12
 13 14  15  16 17 18 19
 20 21  22  23 24 25 26
 27 28  29  30 31   

Looks like I'm too late, somebody already took it.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/10/2014 16:53:00
......... And to cap it off, today is also 'Mad Hatters Day'.

I wonder if I can get a Bowler made for my ship?!?!?!  I've always wanted a hat for mi lliner.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/10/2014 02:27:11
......... And to cap it off, today is also 'Mad Hatters Day'.

I wonder if I can get a Bowler made for my ship?!?!?!  I've always wanted a hat for mi lliner.




(https://33.media.tumblr.com/eb04c3d8f34462bda99f4505576a8e00/tumblr_mloqnqpnEe1s4zjvuo7_400.gif)



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/10/2014 02:31:09
Today is 'Come & Take it Day'.

October

 Mo Tu We Th Fr Sa Su
              1   2  3  4   5
       7    8   9 10  11 12
 13 14  15  16 17 18 19
 20 21  22  23 24 25 26
 27 28  29  30 31   

Looks like I'm too late, somebody already took it.



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcoloringcrew.estaticos.net%2Fcoloring-book%2Fcoloring%2Fnumber-6.png&hash=19e80a956d4f2766e11a9352eabd4821)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/10/2014 02:43:17
Today, September 30, is:
Ask A Stupid Question Day

Huh?

Should I ask today?




(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fiamtechnation.com%2Fmanny%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2014%2F07%2Ftoolate2.jpg&hash=7f44acc0ac03e1650f819b5c3447d3f4)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/10/2014 05:25:19
Today, September 30, is:
Ask A Stupid Question Day

Huh?

Should I ask today?




Please re-phrase the question; it was stated too intelligently for a Stupid Question Day.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/10/2014 13:21:51
"Intelligent"?

Is that a man on the TV? = in telly gent.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/10/2014 04:19:03
No.

It's an agent of Intel.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fc%2Fc9%2FIntel-logo.svg%2F2000px-Intel-logo.svg.png&hash=05fb404a4e92d1a4bb4adc8b9bfe2d61)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/10/2014 04:30:16
"A stupid comment for every occasion."

May I prevail upon your offer as this my 8,000th post ?

Danke Schoen.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/10/2014 15:25:40
***THUD***THUD***THUD***

Mey Lorrds, Laydees and jentlmn. Preeey sylense for 'is nuttiness, Mester Don_whone.

*Cough cough*

Ahem. Meiy Deear friends. Aye schould lieke to say a few werds hupon thes hauspicious hoccasion hoff the heyight thyzandth post maede by hour mozt hadmyred memmber, Meester Demho- grahfex.
E iz, has Iem schore huw har hawhare, ay long standeing memmbher ov thes 'ere fhorum, hand haz meade meny ha contreebhushun to meny ha thread.
Zome 'ave beean most hinformateeve, whhilst others 'ave bheen most hamuuuzing.

*Cough cough* ahem....... aaaa...............aaaaaaaaaaah..................aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh
AHCHOO!


Ahem, beggin youre pardon.

Meestah Grahphex, hor Dhemo, haz e iz knowne to iz friendz 'ere abouet, iz prehaps beast khnowne fer iz hintroduckschun hov thes 'ere puhnning thread.

Ee az mayde meny a pohst hov heightstanding kwalitee, wwhich az ad us hall in steetches and hintoo the bhargin, az brouuhght meny a celebrhatory hoccasion to houre hattenschun.

Zo, Hy wwhould esk hou to rhaize your glarsses, hor contact lenzez, haz happroprihat.

Haha, haha, hahar

JJust mey lettle quwhip thare, in hay tohst to Meester Dehmo Grahphix. Mae 'eh puhnn lhong hintoo the fewtuare.

Haye thenk hewe.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-eatdrink007.gif&hash=5a83f4620bd2d8146450f1b6bc75fb55) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/10/2014 15:36:38
8000 eh!!!

Well, I ate hundreds & thousands.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.punchline-gloucester.com%2Fimages%2Fpageimages%2FIce-Cream-Double-Dip-%28450%29.jpg&hash=593fcb7c3ce44e0e9f37262daf74174c)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/10/2014 04:52:50
***THUD***THUD***THUD***

Mey Lorrds, Laydees and jentlmn. Preeey sylense for 'is nuttiness, Mester Don_whone.

*Cough cough*

Ahem. Meiy Deear friends. Aye schould lieke to say a few werds hupon thes hauspicious hoccasion hoff the heyight thyzandth post maede by hour mozt hadmyred memmber, Meester Demho- grahfex.
E iz, has Iem schore huw har hawhare, ay long standeing memmbher ov thes 'ere fhorum, hand haz meade meny ha contreebhushun to meny ha thread.
Zome 'ave beean most hinformateeve, whhilst others 'ave bheen most hamuuuzing.

*Cough cough* ahem....... aaaa...............aaaaaaaaaaah..................aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh
AHCHOO!


Ahem, beggin youre pardon.

Meestah Grahphex, hor Dhemo, haz e iz knowne to iz friendz 'ere abouet, iz prehaps beast khnowne fer iz hintroduckschun hov thes 'ere puhnning thread.

Ee az mayde meny a pohst hov heightstanding kwalitee, wwhich az ad us hall in steetches and hintoo the bhargin, az brouuhght meny a celebrhatory hoccasion to houre hattenschun.

Zo, Hy wwhould esk hou to rhaize your glarsses, hor contact lenzez, haz happroprihat.

Haha, haha, hahar

JJust mey lettle quwhip thare, in hay tohst to Meester Dehmo Grahphix. Mae 'eh puhnn lhong hintoo the fewtuare.

Haye thenk hewe.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-eatdrink007.gif&hash=5a83f4620bd2d8146450f1b6bc75fb55) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)


8000 eh!!!

Well, I ate hundreds & thousands.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.punchline-gloucester.com%2Fimages%2Fpageimages%2FIce-Cream-Double-Dip-%28450%29.jpg&hash=593fcb7c3ce44e0e9f37262daf74174c)


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi0.kym-cdn.com%2Fphotos%2Fimages%2Foriginal%2F000%2F227%2F867%2Fin-the-original-book-its-over-8000.jpg&hash=7b53780d0e01c8c868274ed4e9b2fa21)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/10/2014 17:20:45
***THUD***THUD***THUD***

Mey Lorrds, Laydees and jentlmn. Preeey sylense for 'is nuttiness, Mester Don_whone.

*Cough cough*

Ahem. Meiy Deear friends. Aye schould lieke to say a few werds hupon thes hauspicious hoccasion hoff the heyight thyzandth post maede by hour mozt hadmyred memmber, Meester Demho- grahfex.
E iz, has Iem schore huw har hawhare, ay long standeing memmbher ov thes 'ere fhorum, hand haz meade meny ha contreebhushun to meny ha thread.
Zome 'ave beean most hinformateeve, whhilst others 'ave bheen most hamuuuzing.

*Cough cough* ahem....... aaaa...............aaaaaaaaaaah..................aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh
AHCHOO!


Ahem, beggin youre pardon.

Meestah Grahphex, hor Dhemo, haz e iz knowne to iz friendz 'ere abouet, iz prehaps beast khnowne fer iz hintroduckschun hov thes 'ere puhnning thread.

Ee az mayde meny a pohst hov heightstanding kwalitee, wwhich az ad us hall in steetches and hintoo the bhargin, az brouuhght meny a celebrhatory hoccasion to houre hattenschun.

Zo, Hy wwhould esk hou to rhaize your glarsses, hor contact lenzez, haz happroprihat.

Haha, haha, hahar

JJust mey lettle quwhip thare, in hay tohst to Meester Dehmo Grahphix. Mae 'eh puhnn lhong hintoo the fewtuare.

Haye thenk hewe.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-eatdrink007.gif&hash=5a83f4620bd2d8146450f1b6bc75fb55) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

I have never been so honored!

I must not weep tears of gratitude.

Or is that a sneeze coming on??

Never mind it's MOMENTOUS whatever it is !

THANK YOU, Mester Don_whone!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 21/10/2014 11:21:36
Tankyou bouys very much..you have well and truely helped to keep me ship floating with your comedic banter and arsonal of verbatum punningness fun..lol..... and some of these jokes have become like floating islands of unsinkable....laughter and when in need, a rescuing asylum for me to rest my brain.... and run to, knowing its a safe haven of friends here...I miss you guys...I love you guys..Thanks for the laughter.......()()()()() xxxxx :-)  Karen
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/10/2014 14:34:50
Today is Count Your Buttons Day.

Errrrr.......... Ummmmmm..........

NONE. Well that didn't take long, what shall I do for the rest of the day???

AH! Just moment..... I'll sit down here. Now I have one button.

??????????

I have one butt on this chair.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/10/2014 14:41:47
Today is also Reptile Awareness Day.

......and quite rightly so, after all, reptiles have tort us a great deal about telling the truth. Liz ardly ever leave their lips (or beaks).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/10/2014 14:45:31
My rather ancient car needs a new speedometer, so I shall have to get the old croc a dial if I am to be able to monitor my speed.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/10/2014 14:49:33
Total strangers keep walking along the path behind my garden. I shall have to get a new alley gate or put up with it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/10/2014 14:52:35
Forgive me if I start now, but tomorrow is International St........st............st........................ st........................stu........................st.......................stu............................................st.................
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/10/2014 20:40:31
Tankyou bouys very much..you have well and truely helped to keep me ship floating with your comedic banter and arsonal of verbatum punningness fun..lol..... and some of these jokes have become like floating islands of unsinkable....laughter and when in need, a rescuing asylum for me to rest my brain.... and run to, knowing its a safe haven of friends here...I miss you guys...I love you guys..Thanks for the laughter.......()()()()() xxxxx :-)  Karen

Thank you so much Karen!
Demo
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/10/2014 00:33:24
Today is Count Your Buttons Day.

Errrrr.......... Ummmmmm..........

NONE. Well that didn't take long, what shall I do for the rest of the day???

AH! Just moment..... I'll sit down here. Now I have one button.

??????????

I have one butt on this chair.

I stared at my belly butt on so much, I was promoted to navel officer.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/10/2014 05:46:34
Total strangers keep walking along the path behind my garden. I shall have to get a new alley gate or put up with it.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F78D9EB9D-F673-41C2-B96B-4FD1C1EA7DE3.jpg&hash=9885c9f58ddca920e2220783883e0e9a)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/10/2014 09:05:06
Forgive me if I start now, but tomorrow is International St........st............st........................ st........................stu........................st.......................stu............................................st.................

....................... uttering Awareness Day.

 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/10/2014 09:25:04
Total strangers keep walking along the path behind my garden. I shall have to get a new alley gate or put up with it.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F78D9EB9D-F673-41C2-B96B-4FD1C1EA7DE3.jpg&hash=9885c9f58ddca920e2220783883e0e9a)


As I watched the gators in the everglades, suddenly one with a long thin snout appeared. I thought to myself,
"Hello, sign o' genes gone wrong."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/10/2014 09:28:43
Today is Count Your Buttons Day.

Errrrr.......... Ummmmmm..........

NONE. Well that didn't take long, what shall I do for the rest of the day???

AH! Just moment..... I'll sit down here. Now I have one button.

??????????

I have one butt on this chair.

I stared at my belly butt on so much, I was promoted to navel officer.



Ummm, Billy, call the naval officer in for his medication please.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/10/2014 09:33:25
Mary wondered why she was no longer receiving information from the fertility clinic. She was unaware that they had relocated to new premises until the new place sent her their new address and explaining they had run out of womb at the old offices.


Oh vary funny I'm sure.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/10/2014 09:41:48
Billy's boss had offered him a posting overseas. Bill's wife, Mary, said to him, "you tear us apart and we'll never have a baby.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/10/2014 17:10:45
Suddenly I heard someone call out,
"Phil, open Ian's tubes.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/10/2014 21:01:44
Forgive me if I start now, but tomorrow is International St........st............st........................ st........................stu........................st.......................stu............................................st.................

....................... uttering Awareness Day.

 [ Invalid Attachment ]

Whew!!! Just in time!! Congrats!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/10/2014 21:10:35
Suddenly I heard someone call out,
"Phil, open Ian's tubes.

No, you misheard: someone called out, "pizza delivery is here!"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/10/2014 23:43:16
Ummm, Billy, call the naval officer in for his medication please.
Mary wondered why she was no longer receiving information from the fertility clinic. She was unaware that they had relocated to new premises until the new place sent her their new address and explaining they had run out of womb at the old offices.


Oh vary funny I'm sure.
Billy's boss had offered him a posting overseas. Bill's wife, Mary, said to him, "you tear us apart and we'll never have a baby.
Suddenly I heard someone call out,
"Phil, open Ian's tubes.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F294AC0C3-2314-4D1A-832D-0C01A4EF4C8C.jpg&hash=176622a5add9e7d4308ab63453d2169b)

Don_1 female punatomy explained.




Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/10/2014 00:30:09
Today is also Reptile Awareness Day.

......and quite rightly so, after all, reptiles have tort us a great deal about telling the truth. Liz ardly ever leave their lips (or beaks).


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FDD8FED36-C75D-4E52-AD0F-D655082888AE.jpg&hash=b0419970f53ad388c618f4a33b415a1b)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/10/2014 02:45:23
My rather ancient car needs a new speedometer, so I shall have to get the old croc a dial if I am to be able to monitor my speed.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F51C61C69-F78E-4158-A094-DEAE63C5114E.gif&hash=71f5507e38672d2251e482d7b0990051)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/10/2014 13:03:02
My rather ancient car needs a new speedometer, so I shall have to get the old croc a dial if I am to be able to monitor my speed.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F51C61C69-F78E-4158-A094-DEAE63C5114E.gif&hash=71f5507e38672d2251e482d7b0990051)

On seeing this spectacle, a police officer approached the woman and told her that taking such an animal walkies in public was far too dangerous. He told her to pick it up and take it home. The woman said it was far too heavy for her to carry all (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gharial) the way home.
The police officer said "OK men (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caiman) will have to do it for you".
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/10/2014 13:08:46
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F294AC0C3-2314-4D1A-832D-0C01A4EF4C8C.jpg&hash=176622a5add9e7d4308ab63453d2169b)

I am much obliged to Demo for this brief diagram of the female reproductive system and would like to thank him for showing his tour direct to me.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/10/2014 14:35:52
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FDD8FED36-C75D-4E52-AD0F-D655082888AE.jpg&hash=b0419970f53ad388c618f4a33b415a1b)

Meshelle, who owned the tortoise, asked her man (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermann's_tortoise)n to take her pet to the horse field (http://www.tortoisetrust.org/articles/horsfield.html) for it to forage for food. How could he resist such a request from a woman who radiated (http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/life/Radiated_tortoise) such beauty. And, after all, there was a promise of pancakes (http://www.britishcheloniagroup.org.uk/caresheets/pancake) when they returned home. The tortoise was getting somewhat agitated, so he had to carry a pace (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/carapace) faster. Meshelle declared him to be a star (http://www.tortoisetrust.org/care/celegans.html).

When they got to the horse field (http://www.tortoisetrust.org/articles/horsfield.html), they found a man with a tractor there. He said he could plough & share (http://www.durrell.org/durrell-index/animals/ploughshare-tortoise/) the field with the tortoise, so there was no need to sulk at a (http://www.tortoise-protection-group.org.uk/site/124.asp) crossing of their paths. The ploughman had a cut on his finger, so Meshelle put a plaster on (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/plastron) it for him.

While the ploughman ploughed the middle of the field, the tortoise kept to the margin, ated (http://www.tortoise-protection-group.org.uk/site/90.asp) his fill and then thought he had better go for (http://www.gophertortoisecouncil.org/about-the-tortoise/) a wee wee, before being taken home.

As they went home, they put on a spurt high (http://www.tortoise-protection-group.org.uk/site/files/TGGJuly08.pdf) on the hill because it turned a little cold. When they got home, Meshelle thought to herslf, 'I'll dab the (http://www.nhm.ac.uk/nature-online/species-of-the-day/biodiversity/endangered-species/geochelone-gigantea//index.html) mud off the shell before bedtime'. Bed, for the tortoise, was cosy cardboard box (http://nationalzoo.si.edu/Animals/ReptilesAmphibians/Facts/FactSheets/Easternboxturtle.cfm) on which the lid would hinge back (http://www.tortoisetrust.org/care/ckinixys.html) for easy access.

Meshelle thanked her man (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermann's_tortoise)n for all his help and said he deserved his pancakes (http://www.britishcheloniagroup.org.uk/caresheets/pancake) but first she said "I want to test you though (http://www.tortoisetrust.org/care/cgraeca.html) on all you learnt about tortoises today". With one leap hard (http://www.tortoise-protection-group.org.uk/site/123.asp) into the test, he came out with flying colours.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/10/2014 00:09:06
My rather ancient car needs a new speedometer, so I shall have to get the old croc a dial if I am to be able to monitor my speed.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F51C61C69-F78E-4158-A094-DEAE63C5114E.gif&hash=71f5507e38672d2251e482d7b0990051)

On seeing this spectacle, a police officer approached the woman and told her that taking such an animal walkies in public was far too dangerous. He told her to pick it up and take it home. The woman said it was far too heavy for her to carry all (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gharial) the way home.
The police officer said "OK men (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caiman) will have to do it for you".

If I have the right chordata, we could compose a nice song around this!




Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/10/2014 14:22:01
Cor! data good idea.

 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/10/2014 17:25:06
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F294AC0C3-2314-4D1A-832D-0C01A4EF4C8C.jpg&hash=176622a5add9e7d4308ab63453d2169b)

No, please don't turn around!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/10/2014 02:01:56
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F294AC0C3-2314-4D1A-832D-0C01A4EF4C8C.jpg&hash=176622a5add9e7d4308ab63453d2169b)

No, please don't turn around!

No!

Don't listen to Don_1!

I'll PAY you to turn around!

 [;D]



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/10/2014 10:45:52

Don't listen to Don_1!

I'll PAY you to turn around!

 [;D]


NOoooooooo!!!

 [ Invalid Attachment ]

Phew!!! You had me worried there.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/10/2014 19:55:32
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FEDDE2938-F1FA-46D1-9193-DE457C06567C.gif&hash=e5a174bc28ec41d9abd862b50d17e2f0)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/10/2014 20:09:38

 [ Invalid Attachment ]

"Phew!!!..."


Uhhhhh.....considering the context here.......please clarify the meaning of that sound.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/10/2014 09:45:15

.......please clarify the meaning of that sound.


I really should rephewse to do that on the grounds that it might incriminate me. However, under the circumstances and given that there a phew different connotations which anyone phiewing this post could arrive at, I have rephiewed the situation and will attempt to provide some clarity. However, I rephewdiate any misconceptions the reader may arrive at.

This rear phiew of a previous image, lead me to gasp in relief at its content. Since the frontal phiew described the female reproductive system, I was sorely afraid that the rear phiew might describe the……… well I think you get my drift.

I can categorically state that it had nothing to do with any phewmes emanating from this phewture contender for ‘Rear of the Year’.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, as his favourite nephew I must attend to my late uncle’s phewneral with great care if I am to avoid a family phewd.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/10/2014 22:29:07

.......please clarify the meaning of that sound.


I really should rephewse to do that on the grounds that it might incriminate me. However, under the circumstances and given that there a phew different connotations which anyone phiewing this post could arrive at, I have rephiewed the situation and will attempt to provide some clarity. However, I rephewdiate any misconceptions the reader may arrive at.

This rear phiew of a previous image, lead me to gasp in relief at its content. Since the frontal phiew described the female reproductive system, I was sorely afraid that the rear phiew might describe the……… well I think you get my drift.

I can categorically state that it had nothing to do with any phewmes emanating from this phewture contender for ‘Rear of the Year’.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, as his favourite nephew I must attend to my late uncle’s phewneral with great care if I am to avoid a family phewd.


Phewer than 2 people win this Very Special Award.

Guess who wins?

Our very own Punning Ph.D., Don_1!!!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fphew_expression_of_relief_sayings_award-r1684f6e09e6f4cdc89ca48eedc4d3672_8bozs_8byvr_324.jpg&hash=5dacf837a0c7c442c95eed19e0bb313b)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/10/2014 22:39:42

 [ Invalid Attachment ]


And also this Award...

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funawards.com%2Ftrophies%2Fimages-lg%2Fhorses-rear-award.jpg&hash=b69d5fd1b388734be1274a1cdcc5c3aa)




Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/10/2014 03:17:24
Today is Count Your Buttons Day.

Errrrr.......... Ummmmmm..........

NONE. Well that didn't take long, what shall I do for the rest of the day???

AH! Just moment..... I'll sit down here. Now I have one button.

??????????

I have one butt on this chair.

I stared at my belly butt on so much, I was promoted to navel officer.



Ummm, Billy, call the naval officer in for his medication please.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Flaughing%2Flaughter.gif&hash=d2067f8151db265b92c9c3a3f0adea77)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 28/10/2014 08:58:44

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funawards.com%2Ftrophies%2Fimages-lg%2Fhorses-rear-award.jpg&hash=b69d5fd1b388734be1274a1cdcc5c3aa)


You're horsing around again, aren't you.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Aemilius on 28/10/2014 13:46:58
A Fukashima Radiation Alert... CNN - ‎27 minutes ago

A Fukushima Radiation Alert has been issued for the West Coast of the United States, including new clearer information about where it's going. It's an increasingly heated debate among the beach crowd here in Santa Barbara, California. Surfers say they haven't really noticed anything unusual.... "The Fukushima thing is just a pile of nonsense. There's definitely a change in the hair since the meltdowns and everyone's a little uneasy, but we're just out here having a great time. The water's fine, the girls are really HOT and the waves are like totally RAD dude!"

[(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fs15.postimg.org%2Fy56ijtyx5%2FUntitledmnmmmmmmmmmmmm.jpg&hash=2feb2285d122b9ffe900ae73856b0a58)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/10/2014 16:29:12

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funawards.com%2Ftrophies%2Fimages-lg%2Fhorses-rear-award.jpg&hash=b69d5fd1b388734be1274a1cdcc5c3aa)


You're horsing around again, aren't you.


Nah. I'm just being a horse's a** .


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/10/2014 10:10:15

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funawards.com%2Ftrophies%2Fimages-lg%2Fhorses-rear-award.jpg&hash=b69d5fd1b388734be1274a1cdcc5c3aa)


A posh person has asked if this is what they mean by a 'gelding'.


Air, aye sey, is these whhhat they meean, eets been covered in geld all h'over. Haye airbsoluutlay mahrvelhouse.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/10/2014 18:51:19
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fkeep_calm_and_focus_on_gelding_poster-r2aa31661d4494b3abf9d17001a68aa8d_wv3_8byvr_324.jpg&hash=a502c3208aaceb31c7d28b3c0d009211)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/10/2014 23:26:54
This evening, October 30, is:
Haunted Refrigerator Night

He wasn't haunted, but George Westinghouse was a refrigerator magnate.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1.cpcache.com%2Fproduct%2F1135478854%2Fgeorge_westinghouse_american_eng_rectangle_magnet.jpg%3Fheight%3D225%26amp%3Bwidth%3D225&hash=b2f29aa682c24e7dfb8bfe16f4ba4d7c)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 30/10/2014 18:16:48
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fkeep_calm_and_focus_on_gelding_poster-r2aa31661d4494b3abf9d17001a68aa8d_wv3_8byvr_324.jpg&hash=a502c3208aaceb31c7d28b3c0d009211)

Is this a writer's geld?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/10/2014 22:34:19
Yes, Donnah....but no dues required!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/10/2014 22:49:14

.......please clarify the meaning of that sound.


I really should rephewse to do that on the grounds that it might incriminate me. However, under the circumstances and given that there a phew different connotations which anyone phiewing this post could arrive at, I have rephiewed the situation and will attempt to provide some clarity. However, I rephewdiate any misconceptions the reader may arrive at.

This rear phiew of a previous image, lead me to gasp in relief at its content. Since the frontal phiew described the female reproductive system, I was sorely afraid that the rear phiew might describe the……… well I think you get my drift.

I can categorically state that it had nothing to do with any phewmes emanating from this phewture contender for ‘Rear of the Year’.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, as his favourite nephew I must attend to my late uncle’s phewneral with great care if I am to avoid a family phewd.



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn.shopify.com%2Fs%2Ffiles%2F1%2F0221%2F5606%2Fproducts%2Fbday_breathing_card_1024x1024.jpg%3Fv%3D1405454056&hash=3568ed1610fc2fbc0273c61cad6605fd)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 31/10/2014 10:05:31
Lol....lol....See what I mean...lol....I like the butt on this chair pretty good but...I could BARELY see The punchline for I was too wooried about my HINDSIGHT..being so far  BEHIND me that I could'nt concentrate on the HOLE in my DONUT as I lined up my SEAT with in it to the chair....lol..
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/10/2014 12:17:41
I do hope you weren't scraping from the bottom of the barrel Karen.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/10/2014 12:43:20
This evening, October 30, is:
Haunted Refrigerator Night

He wasn't haunted, but George Westinghouse was a refrigerator magnate.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1.cpcache.com%2Fproduct%2F1135478854%2Fgeorge_westinghouse_american_eng_rectangle_magnet.jpg%3Fheight%3D225%26amp%3Bwidth%3D225&hash=b2f29aa682c24e7dfb8bfe16f4ba4d7c)


Or was he a refrigerator magnet?

 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/10/2014 16:09:20


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Flaughing%2Flaughter.gif&hash=d2067f8151db265b92c9c3a3f0adea77)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/10/2014 16:14:47
Where's Waldo ??

Where's George ??
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 31/10/2014 20:48:10
I do hope you weren't scraping from the bottom of the barrel Karen.
Oh dear..indeed,  scrapping The bottom was merely an inSTINKive MOVEMENT that is RECTEMized by most BUTT heads as a must for ELIMINATING the Terd dangling by a mREAR butt hair ...that has  been growing increasingly annoying, while trying to evacuate from the BACKSIDE, between the BUN isles at the REAR, of the large and small INTESTINE....LOL.... [:I]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 31/10/2014 20:52:06
Its quite, the BUNNY situation when you think about it , but I am ever so happy to say that it always comes out in the END! XXX
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/10/2014 23:31:35
Karen, I can only offer you the same advice that Mr Spock gave to Capt. Kirk, 'beware the Klingons'.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/10/2014 23:35:20
Where's Waldo ??

Where's George ??

I have no idea where George is, but I can tell you that the wall do is holding up the roof.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/11/2014 02:32:12
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flolzombie.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F08%2Fwheres-waldo-beach.jpg&hash=1ca8f7091e554f1970f5269ba80187aa)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/11/2014 05:06:06
Its quite, the BUNNY situation when you think about it , but I am ever so happy to say that it always comes out in the END! XXX

Q. Do you know how to catch a unique bunny?

A. Unique up on it

Q. Do you know how to catch a tame bunny?

A. Tame way!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 02/11/2014 06:48:52
lol...lol....Too cute!! lol..
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 02/11/2014 06:56:01
Karen, I can only offer you the same advice that Mr Spock gave to Capt. Kirk, 'beware the Klingons'.
   Lol...No worries.... I'll use a fish scaler....to remove the ones with a tendency to be Klingons!!!lol...
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/11/2014 03:06:04
Karen, I can only offer you the same advice that Mr Spock gave to Capt. Kirk, 'beware the Klingons'.
   Lol...No worries.... I'll use a fish scaler....to remove the ones with a tendency to be Klingons!!!lol...

Uh oh! I heard that someone just had an explosive passage of gas, I'd say about 8.0 on the sphincter scale.



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/11/2014 03:44:58
November, 2014 is:
Adopt A Senior Pet Month
http://www.nhes.org/sections/view/285

See pig photo (above link) as a nice example of how one can pay tribute to this ambitious Month!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 03/11/2014 06:13:02
Karen, I can only offer you the same advice that Mr Spock gave to Capt. Kirk, 'beware the Klingons'.
   Lol...No worries.... I'll use a fish scaler....to remove the ones with a tendency to be Klingons!!!lol...

Uh oh! I heard that someone just had an explosive passage of gas, I'd say about 8.0 on the sphincter scale.




      lol...lol....
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/11/2014 08:13:50
Today is Cliché Day.

How many science related Clichés will be used by PhDs on this site today?

That will be the acid test.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/11/2014 17:49:30
Today is Cliché Day.

How many science related Clichés will be used by PhDs on this site today?

That will be the acid test.

Help! No Ph.D., I'm an MBA cid dropout!

edit 'dropout': I didn't complete the former (MBA); I didn't touch the latter (acid).





Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/11/2014 02:04:09
Saxophone Day, November 6, 2014!
https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/saxophone-day/


When a musician's toupee fell into his saxophone he blew his top.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/11/2014 09:16:59
Saxophone Day, November 6, 2014!
https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/saxophone-day/


When a musician's toupee fell into his saxophone he blew his top.

Surly you mean "....he blew his toupee."

English = too-pay
US English = toop
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/11/2014 09:31:07
Saxophone Day, November 6, 2014!


Alex said to his lovely young assistant, Clara, "Come, see what I have invented."
Clara puzzled over the object and then asked, "What is it?"
Alex replied, "Why, s'ats a phone.
Yes, Mr Bell was always blowing his own trumpet, but he was no businessman, so Clara netted all the profit.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/11/2014 04:49:02
Saxophone Day, November 6, 2014!
https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/saxophone-day/


When a musician's toupee fell into his saxophone he blew his top.

Surly you mean "....he blew his toupee."

English = too-pay
US English = toop
Saxophone Day, November 6, 2014!


Alex said to his lovely young assistant, Clara, "Come, see what I have invented."
Clara puzzled over the object and then asked, "What is it?"
Alex replied, "Why, s'ats a phone.
Yes, Mr Bell was always blowing his own trumpet, but he was no businessman, so Clara netted all the profit.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fsaxy_and_i_know_it_award-r8f43bab092364641934bfd3a5fd6e295_8bozu_8byvr_324.jpg&hash=1c72914c85f1c90d52ff987986b55ed4)

Yep! That's what they say about Don_1!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/11/2014 17:47:43

Yep! That's what they say about Don_1!!


I've never heard anyone say that about me! "Sixty", now that I have heard, though not for some years now (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Fsad%2Fdepressed.gif&hash=d1b142bedb9bcabd0ca4eb473e6cc75b) (http://www.sherv.net/)

Mind you, I don't hear much at all these days, must be something to do with the tuba glue in my ears. You'll have to whistle to get my attention, but be sure you piccolo note. Don't take my word for it, just try it to corroborate it for yourself.

But I am getting on a bit, everything's confused, even my skeleton. That's why I call it my maelstrom bones.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/11/2014 17:52:46

........ I am getting on a bit,


I should be so lucky!!! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Fsad%2Fcry-blow.gif&hash=01bd967a65b715417c3b71f7c5a0fdfc) (http://www.sherv.net/)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/11/2014 18:02:29
Today is "Hug a Bear Day".

Not on your nelly!!! What do you take me for??? Don't answer that.

All sounds a bit grizzly to me. I think you need to suffering from bipolar problems to hug a bear.

I've always wanted to take a picture of a wild bear, but alas I have a Nikon. Apparently you need a Kodiak. Well, I'm not going to panda to such niceties. I don't want to make a spectacle of myself.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/11/2014 18:10:09
On the matter of bears, did you know that there was the Ailuropoda microta?

Now extinct, this bear is sometimes commonly referred to as the Dwarf Giant Panda or Pygmy Giant Panda.

Since the words 'dwarf' and 'pygmy' rather tend to cancel out 'giant', why isn't it just known as the 'Panda'???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: RD on 07/11/2014 20:29:58
Today is "Hug a Bear Day"

This should be the official dress code ...
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/11/2014 21:23:12


Today is "Hug a Bear Day"



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F-_Dl82zbj1v4%2FUGJp7-GiQqI%2FAAAAAAAAD3Q%2FhMKaf8KXqQA%2Fs1600%2F1001p%252B%252528221%252529%252Bgenuine%252Bbear%252Bhug-Image%252Bby%252BSrdjan%252BZivulovic%252B%2525EF%252580%2525A2%252BReuters.jpg&hash=4c305b2add4e6db85c9fb79386435dc7)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 07/11/2014 22:11:11

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Frlv.zcache.com%2Fsaxy_and_i_know_it_award-r8f43bab092364641934bfd3a5fd6e295_8bozu_8byvr_324.jpg&hash=1c72914c85f1c90d52ff987986b55ed4)



Yep! That's what they say about Don_1!!


I've never heard anyone say that about me!


Don_1, wake up!

They all talk behind your sax!



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/11/2014 03:42:48

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funawards.com%2Ftrophies%2Fimages-lg%2Fhorses-rear-award.jpg&hash=b69d5fd1b388734be1274a1cdcc5c3aa)


You're horsing around again, aren't you.


Nah. I'm just being a horse's a** .


UK = a***
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/11/2014 14:57:16
Today is "Hug a Bear Day"

This should be the official dress code ...

....and this the song??? http://wn.com/huggy_bear_(band) (http://wn.com/huggy_bear_(band))

Its riot grrrl band.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/11/2014 15:04:44

Nah. I'm just being a horse's a** .


UK = a***

I thought we were just two peoples divided by a common language. I didn't realise we were also divided by an asterisk!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/11/2014 15:07:51
Today is National Dunce Day.

Funny, I thought my birthday was in August.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/11/2014 15:12:17
YES FOLKS, ITS TRUE TODAY IS
Abet and Aid Punsters Day
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/11/2014 15:14:30
Look into my ayes = PUNSTARES
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/11/2014 15:16:05
Sell this escalator = PAWNSTAIRS
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/11/2014 15:19:25
They sat at the table and broke bread = BUNS TEARS
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/11/2014 21:57:14
YES FOLKS, ITS TRUE TODAY IS
Abet and Aid Punsters Day


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Faidandabet.org%2Fassets%2Fimg%2Flogo.png&hash=e8a857c8fce3c9c0c07c37d9d2d9848f)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/11/2014 22:13:31
I aid a bet that demo wouldn't post that. Looks like I lost.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/11/2014 22:14:59
Cattle fed on bread rolls = bun steers.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/11/2014 22:16:12
There's plenty more where that came from, I keep them in my pun stores.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/11/2014 01:49:09

There's plenty more where that came from, I keep them in my pun stores.


Haha! Don_1 is always the king of pun sters!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/11/2014 02:04:55
Sell this escalator = PAWNSTAIRS

$Buy this escalator = $UP$TAIR$



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/11/2014 02:24:25
Today is "Hug a Bear Day"

This should be the official dress code ...

....and this the song??? http://wn.com/huggy_bear_(band) (http://wn.com/huggy_bear_(band))

Its riot grrrl band.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F3432D07F-6665-4FA7-8BFF-6860C235E02B_1.jpg&hash=e3b3fa031b120e24d44b1de432fab258)

I hope that's not Anna again with her friend 'Reckless Rick'!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/11/2014 02:46:15

I aid a bet that demo wouldn't post that. Looks like I lost.


Aida is the biggest if not the best opera ever performed on the opera stage.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/11/2014 03:05:15

Nah. I'm just being a horse's a** .


UK = a***

I thought we were just two peoples divided by a common language. I didn't realise we were also divided by an asterisk!

Don_1 wins The 2014 Asterisk Award ! Congratulations!!


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1.ytimg.com%2Fvi%2FfZVwbUQNrLw%2F0.jpg&hash=f56f9ff213509c7451d2baf18613ba41)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/11/2014 03:20:47

ps - whoops,forgot to mention, the system itself will cost you £5,000/year...sorry...
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/11/2014 03:50:08
We have flexible payment schedules.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/11/2014 09:17:42

I aid a bet that demo wouldn't post that. Looks like I lost.


Aida is the biggest if not the best opera ever performed on the opera stage.

Now I don't wish to be a name dropper, but during a match in which I played as a sweeper and David Beckham as the striker, I was perfectly positioned for a shot at the goal. Beckham raced down the left wing with total control of the ball. He crossed it to me and aida it toward the top right corner of the goal mouth. The keeper thought he had the shot covered, but the ball was spinning and Verdi to the right, straight into the back of the net. The crowd roared with delight. "Gius!!! eppeness was in the air.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/11/2014 13:13:34

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.52composers.com%2Fimages%2Fverdi-tile300.jpg&hash=122220e16ac0d3e8af37c8766b625bf6)

"Thanks, Don_1!
GV"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 11/11/2014 08:43:17
That' quite some liszt there. Just one question, bizet all operatic works?
I'd listen to some now if I could hear properly, but the dog next door is making such a row. He offen bachs as he plays with a schu bert then he goes off playing haydn seek.
If you are having trouble unravelling the post, rip your corsets off to allow better blood flow to your brain.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/11/2014 17:24:46
Why äre thöse musical names sö difficült -- ßharp we must be tö understand, I guess .


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/11/2014 17:37:07
That' quite some liszt there. Just one question, bizet all operatic works?
I'd listen to some now if I could hear properly, but the dog next door is making such a row. He offen bachs as he plays with a schu bert then he goes off playing haydn seek.
If you are having trouble unravelling the post, rip your corsets off to allow better blood flow to your brain.

Don_1 wins!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fen%2Fb%2Fb1%2FClassic_BRIT_Awards_logo.png&hash=9696f7482598d4fc307fe8e413b3aec8)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/11/2014 17:49:06
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F24F2D46E-1A93-418B-82F8-850CFE628A3E.jpg&hash=57e0302e114bc0af370fa83bcbf3424f)

Waiting for Don_1 to come onstage and accept his 2014 Brit Award !
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 12/11/2014 09:43:07

 [ Invalid Attachment ]

Waiting for Don_1 to come onstage and accept his 2014 Brit Award !

So many people!!! They aspir all of them to reach the top of the ladder.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/11/2014 16:05:35
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcommunity.ebay.com%2Febay01%2Fattachments%2Febay01%2F2124%2F257020%2F1%2Fth_AnimatedLaughter.gif&hash=62bdfd8367fe97a9162f66b19f03f72c)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/11/2014 19:56:12
Another "Stairway To Heaven" I presume.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/11/2014 16:28:53
Another "Stairway To Heaven" I presume.

I shall resist the temptation to do that pun about the Marx Bros. The one that goes 'Harpo led zeppolin to the restaurant.

Opps!

Sorry, I didn't mean to plant that one on you. I shall refrain from such puns at least until we turn the page.

"I should zinc zo." Said the Frenchman eating his lunch, adding, "Zis is un bon ham zandwhich."

"Hey, you, Frenchy; no going to sleep after lunch here. We don't want you going for a nap o lyin about."

"Who me Monsieur? Whhy ze very psought could nut 'ave bin furtheur fgrom ma mihnd. Anyvon whho mackes zuch un zuggeztion I will tear limb fgrom limb. I shall rip their bone apart."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/11/2014 16:36:28
It was Napoleon who gave rise to the saying 'Be careful of what you wish for."

Emerging from the latrine, he complained, "Ih do noht lhike zees pissoire sans l'eau. I whish I 'ad a water loo.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/11/2014 02:57:53
It was Napoleon who gave rise to the saying 'Be careful of what you wish for."

Emerging from the latrine, he complained, "Ih do noht lhike zees pissoire sans l'eau. I whish I 'ad a water loo.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.hpssims.com%2Fpages%2Fproducts%2FNapBat%2Fwaterloo%2FWaterloo-Cover.jpg&hash=7bde1720fb8377acc2386e255013fc98)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/11/2014 03:16:37
Besides , it's unfair to Anna's dog!!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.gizmag.com%2Fhero%2Fdrink-no-more.jpg&hash=e5491c8f455f7d7d39c95b8b799aaa1f)

Quoting Don_1's Mr. Bone Apart: "Ih (Monsieur Le Doggy) do noht lhike zees pissoire sans l'eau. I whish I 'ad a water loo."





Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 14/11/2014 18:32:43
Odyn has a bone to pick with Wiley wolf.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/11/2014 22:59:59

Odyn has a bone to pick with Wiley wolf.


My money's on Odyn!!!



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/11/2014 05:47:32
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thenakedscientists.com%2Fforum%2Findex.php%3Faction%3Ddlattach%3Btopic%3D31700.0%3Battach%3D19264&hash=0cce353120e11817212a25f5815e23dc)

Here's Odyn about to chop up Wiley wolf with sharp feline axioms!




Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 16/11/2014 21:22:29
First Odyn was alarmed...
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 16/11/2014 21:23:50
But then he decided it was okay because he could duck.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/11/2014 00:19:40

But then he decided it was okay because he could duck.


When I was a bartender, the duck said to me, 'put it on my bill.'
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/11/2014 00:30:09

First Odyn was alarmed...

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thenakedscientists.com%2Fforum%2Findex.php%3Faction%3Ddlattach%3Btopic%3D31700.0%3Battach%3D19278&hash=5ca0afbf917d971d19919a0fb8d7cb6c)



Don_1 always keeps an alarm clock in the back window of his car.

He is always ahead of his time.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 17/11/2014 16:20:30
Wheelie?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/11/2014 22:19:54

C'mon, Dohhah, you know I'm hurdly ever rong!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 18/11/2014 17:32:34
You're having a good run, you must be on a roll.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/11/2014 02:03:45
You're having a good run, you must be on a roll.

I lost my job: deep cuts were made in the guillotine industry and heads rolled.

If you know anyone sharp who needs an expert cutter, I'll slice off some of my cutting edge/state-of-the-art resumes with my razor-edged teeth -- and get them to you ASAP.



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/11/2014 14:13:52
[

................ the guillotine industry



Did you know the gill o' teen sharks come in five pairs?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/11/2014 14:30:12
First Odyn was alarmed...

 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/11/2014 14:35:29

"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn


Q. - Where are the Andes?

A. - At the end of your armes
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/11/2014 14:44:10
Besides , it's unfair to Anna's dog!!

[ Invalid Attachment ]



Quoting Don_1's Mr. Bone Apart: "Ih (Monsieur Le Doggy) do noht lhike zees pissoire sans l'eau. I whish I 'ad a water loo."






Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/11/2014 17:30:12
First Odyn was alarmed...

 [ Invalid Attachment ]

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dasgrahams.com%2Fmain.php%3Fg2_view%3Dcore.DownloadItem%26amp%3Bg2_itemId%3D1111%26amp%3Bg2_serialNumber%3D1&hash=3b4cf72d19ab77b0b65594039efd1525)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/11/2014 17:58:01

"Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms." - Audrey Hepburn


Q. - Where are the Andes?

A. - At the end of your armes

I'm not so sure...I just couldn't stand to be without my legs.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 19/11/2014 18:14:42
Without legs, life would be a bummer.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 19/11/2014 21:19:02
True, Donnah. And some bummers need donated items to sit on -- it's called chairity.



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/11/2014 15:57:05

................ the guillotine industry


Did you know the gill o' teen sharks come in five pairs?



No. But Grandma just got attacked by a shark!:
http://cheezburger.com/62285057



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 21/11/2014 01:29:23
At the Calgary zoo I saw a rude little girl making faces at a large male gorilla.  He turned around and pushed his bum into the glass where her face was.  The rude little girl was horrified.  Bummer.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/11/2014 02:24:13
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC9CCF978-06A5-4669-8519-7C89D76ABC94.gif&hash=95190e384115d5d7f6311dc2c097774a)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: RD on 21/11/2014 06:08:58
At the Calgary zoo I saw a rude little girl making faces at a large male gorilla.  He turned around and pushed his bum into the glass where her face was ...

This Boo-luga (http://youtu.be/Hh84Oe8JxUQ?t=59s) whale is more playful.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/11/2014 06:56:48
"Baby Beluga" was one of my kids' (as youngsters) favorite songs - joyful images.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 21/11/2014 23:29:07
In the mid 1980s I was having a lovely conversation with a Beluga at the Vancouver aquarium.  We were both pregnant.  Some noisy tourists with a plethora of cameras came and horned in on our moment.  The beluga ducked under water and bobbed back up, spraying water all over the tourists (but not me).  Soon the Spew-luga and I were alone again. 

After giving birth to my son, he was a Raffi fan too, and "Baby Beluga" was a favourite song.  You could say that album was a whale of a success.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 22/11/2014 22:31:06
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC9CCF978-06A5-4669-8519-7C89D76ABC94.gif&hash=95190e384115d5d7f6311dc2c097774a)

Hey Demo...You must have misunderstood me... I said, " I was Ape over You," not "The Ape at the zoo"!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/11/2014 00:13:33

After giving birth to my son, he was a Raffi fan too, and "Baby Beluga" was a favourite song.  You could say that album was a whale of a success.



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.animateit.net%2Fdata%2Fmedia%2F17%2Forkasani3-KillerWhale-Orcas-Animated.gif&hash=29e86ffbb96b0bd94f5e86815e60e323)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/11/2014 00:29:25

Hey Demo...You must have misunderstood me... I said, " I was Ape over You," not "The Ape at the zoo"!



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ai-therapy.com%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F01%2FMan-embarrased2.jpg&hash=60125060c7145e0c3e4f1522f0a1890d)
<blushing>


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 24/11/2014 21:02:31
What???  Demo's stumped for words???!!!

And why do boys get the best eyelashes anyway?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/11/2014 00:04:17

1. What???  Demo's stumped for words???!!!

2. And why do boys get the best eyelashes anyway?


1. That's no stump. That's a full grown tree !!

2. Aren't THESE eyelashes cuter????


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F1C29A072-B8E8-40AD-83FC-30D114E36322.jpg&hash=142f033b40d00e64d52327e1bc887648)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 26/11/2014 23:02:35
I'd be lion if I said I wasn't feeling catty.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/11/2014 02:56:41
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.shrineofsaintjude.net%2Fhumor-102.gif&hash=6ae67bf5b6ca4419d8184f67c545b076)




Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 27/11/2014 14:15:32
lol...lol...aww such a blushing guy....and I agree with the girlies getting the best of the lashes....(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F%5Battachment%3D19310%5D%5B%2Fattachment%5D&hash=9b27af7d310ad9b1dbdd8a340841c23e)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/11/2014 21:07:57

I agree with the girlies getting the best of the lashes....


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thenakedscientists.com%2Fforum%2Findex.php%3Faction%3Ddlattach%3Btopic%3D31700.0%3Battach%3D19310&hash=430e6e80fdddec7167f786b9df7aea00)

Now don't you be lion by trying to compare lashes between The Tooth Lady and Lilly Lioncub (3rd post above)!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/11/2014 20:10:18

...belated...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F7EAB8279-2945-424C-A18D-BD7B4B7B1292.gif&hash=894ec3f8aca9dcb9793218036f8d020a)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 28/11/2014 23:55:21
Happy belated back to you too! It was a terrific day here! Thanks Demo!

...belated...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F7EAB8279-2945-424C-A18D-BD7B4B7B1292.gif&hash=894ec3f8aca9dcb9793218036f8d020a)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/11/2014 01:44:37
Good! Who needs a ghoulish day ??
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 29/11/2014 02:46:49
 Not me....  No Boo hoos here!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/11/2014 03:34:38
Not me....  No Boo hoos here!



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.timskelton.com%2Fpostpics%2Fahole%2Fboo_hoo.jpg&hash=d464574d723e4d3b92f11679d4588558)
(https://openclipart.org/image/800px/svg_to_png/28689/skotan_No-sign.png)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/12/2014 19:50:44
Who is this masquerading as The one & only Demografx?

Why, 'tis I, Don_1. Look..... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pic4ever.com%2Fimages%2Fm169.gif&hash=458cb2d9234a9c91f104c96973582b9d)

Yes, I am a dirty little hacker. Believe me, I've been called worse than that before now.



Now, what mischief can I get up to.............?

"Oh no, it wasn't me, it waas that naughty Demo, honest............... hehehe"


This is Demodon signing off, or is it Dondemo signing off?


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/12/2014 00:33:17
HELP !!!!!

IDENTITY (demo-dentity) THEFT!!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fgifsec.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2FGIF%2F2014%2F05%2Ffearful-reaction-gif.gif&hash=7e223f874b036d4dc3a409ca2615d207)





Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/12/2014 00:42:28
In all sincerity, [edit: and despite his identity theft]... [;D]...I must thank Don_1 as the reason I'm....baaaaaaack!

The NSF password mysteries of my iPhone have been conquered -- but mainly WITH DON_1'S HELP!!!!

Thank you Don_1!!!!!!!!!!
Demo







Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/12/2014 04:29:26

And *many* thanks to NSF's "daveshorts" for his technical guidance in resolving my password issues!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/12/2014 22:13:20
Who is this masquerading as The one & only Demografx?

Why, 'tis I, Don_1. Look..... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pic4ever.com%2Fimages%2Fm169.gif&hash=458cb2d9234a9c91f104c96973582b9d)

Yes, I am a dirty little hacker. Believe me, I've been called worse than that before now.



Now, what mischief can I get up to.............?

"Oh no, it wasn't me, it waas that naughty Demo, honest............... hehehe"


This is Demodon signing off, or is it Dondemo signing off?




YIKES!!!!



The hacker has been hacked.



I've been edited, no wonder my 'ead 'urts, its been 'it.



I might have guessed you'd strike through back.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/12/2014 22:18:40
By the way, due to my hacking, I, in fact, have 6656 posts (inc this one) and Demo has 8078 up to the post above. But it will never show. Boy am I hacked off.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/12/2014 01:53:13

By the way, due to my hacking, I, in fact, have 6656 posts (inc this one) and Demo has 8078 up to the post above. But it will never show. Boy am I hacked off.

At breakfast, "Don_1 The Hacker" downloaded cornflakes via his cereal port!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/12/2014 22:58:21

YIKES!!!!



The hacker has been hacked.



I've been edited, no wonder my 'ead 'urts, its been 'it.



I might have guessed you'd strike through back.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia.giphy.com%2Fmedia%2F38WaQf8IZHz8c%2Fgiphy.gif&hash=d69ce7f57389e637946359a648ec155f)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/12/2014 19:47:53
December, 2014 is:
National Tie Month

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.verylol.com%2F1%2Ffunny_tie.jpg&hash=4be2c7fabb96d78795effaafbfc1deb1)





Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/12/2014 20:46:54
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.esellerpro.com%2F2152%2FI%2F513%2F91%2FlrgBA817.jpg&hash=eb99cb4e5402b9d88fec05e82643add3)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/12/2014 23:48:07
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wall321.com%2Fthumbnails%2Fdetail%2F20120524%2Fcats%2520animals%2520humor%2520tie%2520glasses%2520funny%2520kittens%2520watches%25201600x1200%2520wallpaper_www.wall321.com_57.jpg&hash=bdc0059289329ec225bce86e74bc399a)

Holiday present(s) appropriate for Odyn????



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 09/12/2014 03:32:58
He saw them on the catwalk.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/12/2014 03:42:17
I've yet to receive an invite from The Fashion Industry [:(]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 10/12/2014 19:49:03
Maybe you need to paws, Don_1 fur coat and put a little meow in the mix.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/12/2014 21:34:50

Maybe you need to paws, Don_1 fur coat and put a little meow in the mix.


(https://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmpvyg6Vc11qazkdco1_500.gif)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/12/2014 21:36:23
December, 2014 is:
Tomato and Winter Squash Month

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB0A32C4D-EB02-4612-93B8-14A08A6F2004.jpg&hash=d90d2cf3fd1c4580c49c8a5809568d28)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/12/2014 21:41:25
I've yet to receive an invite from The Fashion Industry [:(]
Maybe you need to paws, Don_1 fur coat and put a little meow in the mix.

But I thought I'd need to don _2_ fur coats to stand out from the rest!

Doesn't Don_1 get left out this way???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/12/2014 10:28:40
I'm thinking of setting up an African tanning parlour, but can't think of a suitable name. I would appreciate any suggestions for a name which would convey to passing trade that they can get tanz in 'ere.

"TANGENTS"!

(Although now we need another name for the ladies !)



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/12/2014 10:33:49
Some of  your embarrassed customers who wish to preserve their reputations should put on more sun tan lotion in order to save face.



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 14/12/2014 19:50:37
If you had drive through tanning you could call it tango.  Or if they tanned in the salon you could call it tannin, especially if they had a "cuppa" while they waited.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/12/2014 22:56:34

If you had drive through tanning you could call it tango.  Or if they tanned in the salon you could call it tannin, especially if they had a "cuppa" while they waited.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.netanimations.net%2FLaughing-chimp-gif-animation.gif&hash=fa8259201e58ad45adc1f58d85261b89)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/12/2014 21:54:49
December, 2014 is:
Tomato and Winter Squash Month

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB0A32C4D-EB02-4612-93B8-14A08A6F2004.jpg&hash=d90d2cf3fd1c4580c49c8a5809568d28)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FECA4B913-EB11-4271-AA24-1E7EBBF786B8.jpg&hash=bcd5efeaf12d6f7b996de040389331ff)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 16/12/2014 02:11:15
So…is that the squash before or after it was digested?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/12/2014 05:22:19
So…is that the squash before or after it was digested?

(https://fitforaqueen.files.wordpress.com/2014/10/laughing-squash.jpg)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/12/2014 05:50:53

I'm thinking of setting up an African tanning    parlour...
                                                US =        parlor
                                                 French =  parlez
                                     


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 22/12/2014 19:45:07
Could be a bit of a white elephant.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/12/2014 20:42:38
Like this?

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clker.com%2Fcliparts%2FE%2FP%2Fn%2Fu%2FB%2FS%2Fwhite-elephant-md.png&hash=6fff769dff5bf07e8b19b941526e0328)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/01/2015 00:01:19

I'm thinking of setting up an African tanning    parlour...
                                                US =        parlor
                                                 French =  parlez
                                     

THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY!!!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/01/2015 00:03:53
The elephant made a trunk call to his friend Ivor in tuscany.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/01/2015 22:35:49

I'm thinking of setting up an African tanning    parlour...
                                                US =        parlor
                                                 French =  parlez
                                     

THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY!!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fd29ci68ykuu27r.cloudfront.net%2Fproduct%2F190X400%2F19441948.jpg&hash=87056c0f2980b03a7ef223812946fe08)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/01/2015 12:47:47

THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY!!!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fd29ci68ykuu27r.cloudfront.net%2Fproduct%2F190X400%2F19441948.jpg&hash=87056c0f2980b03a7ef223812946fe08)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fupload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fcommons%2Fthumb%2Fc%2Fc7%2FMusic-flat.svg%2F100px-Music-flat.svg.png&hash=4f2e27522e3ca99646437dcb8a851631)

........ and on that note, I would like to add this note:  [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/01/2015 12:50:48
 [ Invalid Attachment ]

Had it not been for King George III, who knows?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/01/2015 13:02:30
Today is National Dress Up your Pet Day.

I get the feeling poor old Fido will be dressed up like a dog's dinner.
There'll be a Puss in Boots and a Cat suit.
Bubbles, the goldfish, will be stitched up like a kipper.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/01/2015 13:09:24
 [ Invalid Attachment ]

Had it not been for King George III, who knows?

On the other hand......  [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: RD on 14/01/2015 14:36:17
Today is National Dress Up your Pet Day.

If it needs sedating first, try this stuff ...

 [ Invalid Attachment ]
http://www.petco.com/product/6213/Good-Dog-Pet-Calming-Supplement.aspx

Rumour has it that it's about 13% alcohol [!] ...
https://www.change.org/p/petco-remove-pet-medications-that-contain-high-doses-of-alcohol

So more "Mad-Dog" than "Good-Dog"...

Quote from: urbandictionary.com
Mad Dog 20/20 , 18% or 13% alcohol by volume.

... As majestic as the cascading waters of a drain pipe, Mad Dog 20/20 is bottled by the 20/20 wine company in Westfield, New York ... Available in various nauseating tropical flavors that coat your whole system like bathtub scum ...
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Mad+Dog+20%2F20
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/01/2015 06:37:37
 [ Invalid Attachment ]

Had it not been for King George III, who knows?

What's that silly looking crown doing  on Obama's head???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/01/2015 07:05:29
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.noveltieswholesale.com%2Ffiles%2FOBAMABILL.jpg&hash=330c5d967942660b87b50f98aa18d745)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/01/2015 11:33:49
A little lamb came home from school one day. "Bahhhh." He said to his Mummy. She replied "Oink."
This confused the lamb who barracked her, "Oh bah Ma!"
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/01/2015 17:15:40
Don_1
Neilep Level Member
******
Posts: 6666


Is this "Evil" plus 6?????

Or "Evil Extended"???


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/01/2015 04:22:12
Today is National Dress Up your Pet Day.

If it needs sedating first, try this stuff ...

 [ Invalid Attachment ]
http://www.petco.com/product/6213/Good-Dog-Pet-Calming-Supplement.aspx

Rumour has it that it's about 13% alcohol [!] ...


Good-Dog hangover the next day?


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mensfitness.com%2Fsites%2Fmensfitness.com%2Ffiles%2Fd6%2Fhangover_dog.jpg&hash=259d08f3860e819c10c52018bc4325d6)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/01/2015 08:39:25
:
 [ Invalid Attachment ]

 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/01/2015 08:41:07
Don_1
Neilep Level Member
******
Posts: 6666


Is this "Evil" plus 6?????

Or "Evil Extended"???




Devil with a stutter?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 16/01/2015 09:02:58
Is it any coincidence that 'evil' is 'live' spelled backwards & 'devil' is 'lived' spelled backwards?

What's more, 'Beelzebub' spelled backwards is 'bubezleeb'! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileyshack.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F12%2Fsconfused_100-134.gif&hash=6607e058026c93d7a7639f69e29f1bac)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/01/2015 16:22:09
Don_1
Neilep Level Member
******
Posts: 6666


Is this "Evil" plus 6?????

Or "Evil Extended"???




Devil with a stutter?


"We at Anti-Gareth Gates have unearthed some alarming facts about the stuttering Pop Idol known as Gareth Gates which could very well prove that he is none other than Satan, Old Nick, Lucifer, Beelzebub, The Prince of Darkness, The Lord of the Flies!

Yes, we think Gareth Gates is the earthly incarnation of the Devil himself !! After all, how else could he brainwash thousands of innocent children into voting for a stuttering little retard unless they were under some sort of evil Wicca spell !"

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funkybunky.co.uk%2Fmedia%2Fecom%2Fprodxl%2FGareth-Gates.jpg&hash=6cddacba2d419e46fcb10019aa87eb95)

http://www.angelfire.com/in4/antigarethgates/the_black_thistle.htm
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/01/2015 16:26:50
Is it any coincidence that 'evil' is 'live' spelled backwards & 'devil' is 'lived' spelled backwards?

What's more, 'Beelzebub' spelled backwards is 'bubezleeb'! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileyshack.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F12%2Fsconfused_100-134.gif&hash=6607e058026c93d7a7639f69e29f1bac)

Don_1 spelled backwards is 1_Nod (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fsmileyshack.files.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F12%2Fsconfused_100-134.gif&hash=6607e058026c93d7a7639f69e29f1bac)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flowres.cartoonstock.com%2Fmarriage-relationships-land_of_nod-sleeps-fall_asleep-naps-sleeping-mmon347_low.jpg&hash=6da4084f29c75182031e266a6aa419f6)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/01/2015 16:48:52
:
 [ Invalid Attachment ]

 [ Invalid Attachment ]

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.animateit.net%2Fdata%2Fmedia%2Fjune2010%2Favatar_4437.gif&hash=db25974c0b30eaa7145f521d0b654bed)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/01/2015 13:21:03
Do horses eat a stable diet?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/01/2015 13:25:22
I'm looking for a case to keep my documents in, what would you recommend?
Attaché .
Bless you.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/01/2015 07:10:10

Do horses eat a stable diet?


Young horses need a stable environment where they are free to foal up and be reined in before they come to serious harm.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/01/2015 07:17:05
I'm looking for a case to keep my documents in, what would you recommend?
Attaché .
Bless you.

I prefer a meatier case to keep my documents in.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.saynotocrack.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2007%2F04%2Fbacon-briefcase.jpg&hash=d95d8ed38238e5888b29779426e8b8fd)

Gesundheit!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/01/2015 16:33:32
I prefer a meatier case to keep my documents in.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.foundshit.com%2Fimages%2Fbacon-briefcase.jpg&hash=1450c7f4c1dd12369b7db8e1afbf7230)

I see you're bac on line again Demo.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 21/01/2015 16:41:59
I saw a case like that in a pawn shop, somebody must have had to put in hock for a few shillings.

Wanting to know who had to chop it in, I decided to steak out the pawn shop.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/01/2015 07:11:41
I saw a case like that in a pawn shop, somebody must have had to put in hock for a few shillings.

Wanting to know who had to chop it in, I decided to steak out the pawn shop.

Do you have a beef with the pawn shop? They're just middlemen -- not the ribs of the deal.

Steaking out the pawn shop could just prove to be a lot of bull.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/01/2015 07:17:09

I see you're bac on line again Demo.


Thanks, Don_1, with beac ons of light such as yourself, Don_1, and "daveshorts" of NSF -- I no longer send smoke signals to my friends at NSF😊
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/01/2015 09:53:43

I see you're bac on line again Demo.


Thanks, Don_1, with beac ons of light such as yourself, Don_1, and "daveshorts" of NSF -- I no longer send smoke signals to my friends at NSF😊

Unsmoked bacon for you now, is it?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 22/01/2015 10:11:32

Steaking out the pawn shop could just prove to be a lot of bull.


It did saddle me with a whole load of trouble. I had to trott eround the corner to answer the call of nature. A police officer pulled me up and asked "Hoof you just pee'd up the wall?"
"Yes" I admitted, "but cher have to go when yer have to go."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 22/01/2015 20:28:48

I see you're bac on line again Demo.


Thanks, Don_1, with beac ons of light such as yourself, Don_1, and "daveshorts" of NSF -- I no longer send smoke signals to my friends at NSF😊
Unsmoked bacon for you now, is it?

Steaking out the pawn shop could just prove to be a lot of bull.


It did saddle me with a whole load of trouble. I had to trott eround the corner to answer the call of nature. A police officer pulled me up and asked "Hoof you just pee'd up the wall?"
"Yes" I admitted, "but cher have to go when yer have to go."


_TWO_ BUTCHER AWARDS FOR DON_1!!!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.martindivillybutchers.com%2Fimages%2F1996Resize_big.png&hash=71579d76abaf20058602036c804238b7)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/01/2015 13:08:38
January, 2015 is:
Book Blitz Month


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F36tee5.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F01%2FJanuaryMonths_Book-Blitz-Month1.png&hash=2081233842910628cc28cee2126144dd)


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2488585E-D4C5-4E1C-BB77-5E9A1ABC20BD.jpg&hash=f17d00393c4ceccf3b8247a49e7c4b0e)

http://www.prettyopinionated.com/2015/01/book-blitz-month-fun/





Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/01/2015 09:31:36
Today is Thomas Crapper Day.

Celebrations will include having a wee dram, playing the pan pipes, recitals from Richard 3rd and playing poker, in the hope of getting a Royal Flush.

I shall be playing the sneezing game with a friend. We have toIlet each other do ah tissue in turn.
When its my turn he must keep quite and when its is tern I have to keep quite.

You really don't want to know how pooh bear celebrates.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/01/2015 20:26:33
Today is Thomas Crapper Day.

Celebrations will include having a wee dram, playing the pan pipes, recitals from Richard 3rd and playing poker, in the hope of getting a Royal Flush.

I shall be playing the sneezing game with a friend. We have toIlet each other do ah tissue in turn.
When its my turn he must keep quite and when its is tern I have to keep quite.

You really don't want to know how pooh bear celebrates.

After the lawyer flushed the toilet, it went to the suer.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 27/01/2015 20:38:13
Today is Thomas Crapper Day.

Celebrations will include...playing poker, in the hope of getting a Royal Flush.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pmslweb.com%2Fthe-blog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F10%2F32-royal-flush-funny.jpg&hash=a67bc7754a47f232b844235ae0e57b0b)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/01/2015 09:34:38
Today is Thomas Crapper Day.

Celebrations will include...playing poker, in the hope of getting a Royal Flush.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pmslweb.com%2Fthe-blog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F10%2F32-royal-flush-funny.jpg&hash=a67bc7754a47f232b844235ae0e57b0b)

Wow!!!

What a royal flush!

In that loo, your clasp ades your isotomic lubrication of what might otherwise be dire Monday noises you
might hear too loudly.


Lets just hope nothing snaps off! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-shocked003.gif&hash=ab88d8daaff00fc7b9d2bfb34c3df492) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/01/2015 10:07:16
Today, the 29th of January, is
Curmudgeons Day.

Its about time my celebratory day came around. Everybody has this day and that to celebrate one thing or another, all I get is Curmudgeons Day. But what get's my goat is that its in the depths of winter! How can I get out and about to erm, well, Curmudge in these temperatures. You'd think that Curmudgeons Day would at least be on a day when you can get out and Curmudge in relative comfort, not freezing your 'bits' off. I don't want to go out Curmudging only to get home to curse mudge on my shoes that needs cleaning off. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1106.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh368%2Fblueskool9%2FDSP%2520GIFs%2Fgrumpyoldman_zps5ae79de4.gif&hash=b5570941388d3ed37f3bcc1121546471)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/01/2015 12:25:11
Today, the 29th of January, is

Curmudgeons Day.


What do you call it when a bad-tempered old baker goes bankrupt?

A curmudgeonly crumble.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/01/2015 12:47:51
Today is Thomas Crapper Day.

Celebrations will include...playing poker, in the hope of getting a Royal Flush.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.pmslweb.com%2Fthe-blog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F10%2F32-royal-flush-funny.jpg&hash=a67bc7754a47f232b844235ae0e57b0b)


Wow!!!

What a royal flush!

In that loo, your clasp ades your isotomic lubrication of what might otherwise be dire Monday noises you
might hear too loudly.


Lets just hope nothing snaps off! (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-shocked003.gif&hash=ab88d8daaff00fc7b9d2bfb34c3df492) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2FRoyalty-Free-RF-Clipart-Illustration-Of-A-Club-Royal-Flush-On-Green-1024231891.jpg&hash=8c5ed6ef5e2155f1a7122c1a86f41f82)

I warned you: be careful when using (exploring!) The Royal Club latrine -- with its 4 jagged edges!.

As you can plainly see, there's a warning:
CLIP 'ER OFF!!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/01/2015 13:06:32

I warned you: be careful when using (exploring!) The Royal Club latrine -- with its 4 jagged edges!.

As you can plainly see, there's a warning:


When you've got to go, you've got to go, and I had drunk an awful lot of fruit deuce!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/01/2015 13:25:53
Whatever you're drinking make sure you eat enough espresso coffee beans to counter any deleterious effect!!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fthumb7.shutterstock.com%2Fdisplay_pic_with_logo%2F264949%2F264949%2C1252353682%2C25%2Fstock-photo-poker-club-36668920.jpg&hash=b9a292cc173af915979160d5681ede6c)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/01/2015 11:39:56
Is this what they mean by a
 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Club sandwich?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/01/2015 12:00:55
Tomorrow is Backwards Day, so should we celebrate it today?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/01/2015 16:03:28

Tomorrow is Backwards Day, so should we celebrate it today?


'Pun' backwards is nup. And a nup is a nup is a nup.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 31/01/2015 16:22:34
Is this what they mean by a
 [ Invalid Attachment ]

Club sandwich?


Your club sandwich is MUCH better than hers!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ffreshtildeathtv.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F09%2Fmouse-in-sandwich-mom.jpg&hash=f5057ff3fdc8f85a92ccb62850d9dffd)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/02/2015 13:05:09
I propose we all toast the club sandwich.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 12/02/2015 11:21:47
Its International Darwin Day today.

Yes, celebrating the great man himself, Charles Robert Darwin, born 12th Feb 1809 in Shrewsbury, Shropshire, England.

On 27th Dec 1831, he set sail on HMS Beagle. A voyage that would result in the greatest change to our understanding of life on Earth for ever after. On the 24th Nov 1859 he published his book "On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life."

Many flinched at what he had written, but he taught us how evolution works. Today we might think of it as a gal app a'cos of its blunt contradiction of previous beliefs, but we now know that Charles was dar winner in the end.

Ig wanna just say a big 'thank you' to Darwin. When it comes to picking a book to learn about life, his is the natural selection.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/02/2015 14:25:41

When it comes to picking a book to learn about life, [Darwin's] is the natural selection.


Since you know that I'm a sharp musician, Don_1...well, its just not natural to be that way, is it? 

Am I flat out wrong?



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/02/2015 14:43:34

I propose we all toast the club sandwich.


(https://c2.staticflickr.com/4/3352/3510739797_bb2df83084.jpg)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/02/2015 23:58:10
Today, the 29th of January, is
Curmudgeons Day.

Its about time my celebratory day came around. Everybody has this day and that to celebrate one thing or another, all I get is Curmudgeons Day. But what get's my goat is that its in the depths of winter! How can I get out and about to erm, well, Curmudge in these temperatures. You'd think that Curmudgeons Day would at least be on a day when you can get out and Curmudge in relative comfort, not freezing your 'bits' off. I don't want to go out Curmudging only to get home to curse mudge on my shoes that needs cleaning off. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1106.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fh368%2Fblueskool9%2FDSP%2520GIFs%2Fgrumpyoldman_zps5ae79de4.gif&hash=b5570941388d3ed37f3bcc1121546471)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA6CECE13-1A80-433B-AC8D-D5A7376B23A5.jpg&hash=0747d971f943f261e915a3a62bdea1d6)



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/02/2015 00:10:01

I propose we all toast the club sandwich.


And for you and Mrs. Don_1: belated Valentine's Day toast!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.netanimations.net%2Fbubbly-champagne-toast.gif&hash=2b016cd85a5605b5431ba34a89331582)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/03/2015 14:39:39
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA6CECE13-1A80-433B-AC8D-D5A7376B23A5.jpg&hash=0747d971f943f261e915a3a62bdea1d6)

I'd like one or two of those.

(https://blacknightblues.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/jacob-von-hogflume-blue-plaque.jpg?w=279&h=300)

You can add this as one of a few to your collection.





Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Teakhat on 02/03/2015 23:16:14
Found a kangaroo. It had a broken leg...so I took it to the hopital.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/03/2015 01:48:43


(https://blacknightblues.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/jacob-von-hogflume-blue-plaque.jpg?w=279&h=300)

You can add this as one of a few to your collection.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2C766F5E-913F-4B12-AA4C-C7E7CB0AB27B.gif&hash=0cf06e1b076a9d35dd6b116e3524bb40)

Future door for my collection. Thank you!



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 11/03/2015 11:41:26
I think that's adoorable.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 11/03/2015 11:44:21
Just one point, why did he open the door, then walk away?

Oi you! Come back and shut the door. Were you born in a barn or something like that?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 11/03/2015 11:46:14
If a door remains unused, is it doormant?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 11/03/2015 11:48:09
In Spanish, would the way into paradise be Eldoorado?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 11/03/2015 11:55:56
I took the bedroom door off its hinges and laid it on the bed. The wife thought it was some new type of eidoordown.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/05/2015 15:36:34
I showed this to the Mrs.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.motorhoming.com%2Fimages%2Fstories%2FHymer_S-Class_Mercedes.jpg&hash=fb54110885ff55310ebe606cff865c48)
"Where did you get that from?" She enquired

I told her I had borrowed it from Bert.

"You couldn't have," she said, "Bert is off touring in his camper at the moment, as you should well know."

"Well," I retorted, "I'm sure I borrowed it from Bert, or was it Harry?"

"Harry has a Volkswagen." She said "This is a Hymer."

"Hmmm, then who did I borrow it from?" I quizzed.

The wife said "You must have borrowed it from Alan."

I said, "You mean........"

"Yes," she replied, "you've got Al's Hymer."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/05/2015 11:04:10
What I need is a pomegranate, its a pun I can eat.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 18/05/2015 11:09:08
I shall, of course, consume it in a most gentlemanly fashion. Unfortunately this fruit tends to give me the wind. Therefore I shall probably be known as a very pun gent.


EDIT
My apologies for leaving out the odd few punctuation marks here. I have now remedied this.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 20/05/2015 10:22:05
With flatulence and punctuation in mind, I think it time I was better able to control my use of the colon.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 19/07/2015 02:16:20
Best food I've found for flatulence is Jerusalem artichoke, nicknamed Jerusalem fartichoke.  The person eating gets the first syllable and anyone within breathing distance gets the next two.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: ProjectSailor on 24/09/2015 13:43:27
This thread has gone a bit quiet so I will try and give it a second wind
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/10/2015 17:13:00
This thread has gone a bit quiet so I will try and give it a second wind

The first wind was a breeze!!!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FAFC2DBD4-3D48-4D34-8890-63A2FD3C5406.gif&hash=540cd19ea5ab9f5b4eb77de85b5fe935)



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 09/10/2015 00:32:51
lol...lol....remind me to always stay down wind of you Project Sailor and Demo.....! Seems you two may be in cohtoots with one another.......,?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: ProjectSailor on 09/10/2015 11:09:31
It is said the simplest form of humor is a pun.. and that the simplest elements are gaseous..

This leads me to the simplest elements of humor are fart puns!   
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/10/2015 01:01:50
It is said the simplest form of humor is a pun.. and that the simplest elements are gaseous..

This leads me to the simplest elements of humor are fart puns!   

...So more of a gassy arse then.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/10/2015 01:11:30
This thread has gone a bit quiet so I will try and give it a second wind

The first wind was a breeze!!!


 [ Invalid Attachment ]




Its torn a do!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 29/10/2015 00:13:16
This thread has gone a bit quiet so I will try and give it a second wind

The first wind was a breeze!!!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FAFC2DBD4-3D48-4D34-8890-63A2FD3C5406.gif&hash=540cd19ea5ab9f5b4eb77de85b5fe935)





Is that the famous German, Herr Stylist?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/10/2015 03:59:35

It is said the simplest form of humor is a pun.. and that the simplest elements are gaseous..

This leads me to the simplest elements of humor are fart puns!   

...So more of a gassy arse then.

¡Graci as, Don_Uno!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 29/10/2015 04:14:51
This thread has gone a bit quiet so I will try and give it a second wind

The first wind was a breeze!!!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FAFC2DBD4-3D48-4D34-8890-63A2FD3C5406.gif&hash=540cd19ea5ab9f5b4eb77de85b5fe935)





Is that the famous German, Herr Stylist?


There's no shortcut to being a Herr Stylist. This one tried/failed:

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F3D7AA771-4286-4990-BA91-A892BCA9597A.gif&hash=2872293ccaf5f0f52a328ef8e6d1c391)



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 31/10/2015 01:00:33
I went to the barber for a herr cat. He was hard of hearing, so I bald at him, 'No 2, all over please.'

When Yul Brynner went to the barber, it took him a long time to twig who it was, but eventually he unlocked the truth.

After spending some time in the loo, I had to claim I had been doing a No 2, though I hadn't. The barber saw through my story and said it was a sham poo.


Oh comb comb now, those puns weren't so bad as to be brushed aside.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/11/2015 05:02:53
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA65DD24F-136D-483F-92C9-85704757C524.jpg&hash=248047476ef3711be72b19f1b124a2dd)

Is there an instruction manual? Where do I put these medals????
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/11/2015 05:23:35
I went to the barber for a herr cat. He was hard of hearing, so I bald at him, 'No 2, all over please.'

When Yul Brynner went to the barber, it took him a long time to twig who it was, but eventually he unlocked the truth.

After spending some time in the loo, I had to claim I had been doing a No 2, though I hadn't. The barber saw through my story and said it was a sham poo.


Oh comb comb now, those puns weren't so bad as to be brushed aside.

Don_1 Wins The 2015 Herr Stylist Award - Granted To Those Whith Medals To Prove!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F7AE1BE23-2412-4112-80C4-3D9CEF11F120.jpg&hash=a58b340b314103a6b6c467ac570589e1)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/11/2015 10:29:37


Don_1 Wins The 2015 Herr Stylist Award - Granted To Those Whith Medals To Prove!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F7AE1BE23-2412-4112-80C4-3D9CEF11F120.jpg&hash=a58b340b314103a6b6c467ac570589e1)


Sorry Demo, old chap, but I felt it my duty to branch out and correct your post. I can’t help but do it, it seems to run in the family.
Just call me Herr edit tree if you will.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/11/2015 10:52:28
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA65DD24F-136D-483F-92C9-85704757C524.jpg&hash=248047476ef3711be72b19f1b124a2dd)

Is there an instruction manual? Where do I put these medals????

Continuing the current German trend, I would say you should put it on the trough, so it would be Von Ribbon Trough (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joachim_von_Ribbentrop)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 01/11/2015 10:55:51



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F7AE1BE23-2412-4112-80C4-3D9CEF11F120.jpg&hash=a58b340b314103a6b6c467ac570589e1)

…..and if you’re bald???
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/11/2015 19:52:33
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA65DD24F-136D-483F-92C9-85704757C524.jpg&hash=248047476ef3711be72b19f1b124a2dd)

Is there an instruction manual? Where do I put these medals????

Continuing the current German trend, I would say you should put it on the trough, so it would be Von Ribbon Trough (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joachim_von_Ribbentrop)

I don't see this line of reasoning Göring anywhere! Nein! Schluss!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/11/2015 19:57:30



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F7AE1BE23-2412-4112-80C4-3D9CEF11F120.jpg&hash=a58b340b314103a6b6c467ac570589e1)

…..and if you’re bald???


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FAB634B27-8AAF-4F46-B0CA-3DF36230FBE0.jpg&hash=c5c3454ce56ded67e5ffd30e281aaa58)




Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/11/2015 08:54:41
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA65DD24F-136D-483F-92C9-85704757C524.jpg&hash=248047476ef3711be72b19f1b124a2dd)

Is there an instruction manual? Where do I put these medals????

Continuing the current German trend, I would say you should put it on the trough, so it would be Von Ribbon Trough (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joachim_von_Ribbentrop)

I don't see this line of reasoning Göring anywhere! Nein! Schluss!




At a party banquet, Mrs Göring made some derogatory comments about silly moustaches, (I’ll speer you the details), but all agreed it was rude of hess wife to be so outspoken.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/11/2015 09:24:49
Albert Speer was a keen board game player and amateur horticulturalist. Near The Eagle’s Nest he laid a beautiful chequerboard lawn and pot grew red leaf and green leaf box plants which he fashioned into topiary castles, knights, bishops, queens, kings and pawns. Many were invited to play in what became known as the Albert chess garden (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berchtesgaden).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/11/2015 09:32:35
Albert Speer was a keen board game player and amateur horticulturalist. Near The Eagle’s Nest he laid a beautiful chequerboard lawn and pot grew red leaf and green leaf box plants which he fashioned into topiary castles, knights, bishops, queens, kings and pawns. Many were invited to play in what became known as the Albert chess garden (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berchtesgaden).

Wasn't that just t' pitz (http://www.kbismarck.com/tirpitz.html)!?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/11/2015 20:53:41
Albert Speer was a keen board game player and amateur horticulturalist. Near The Eagle’s Nest he laid a beautiful chequerboard lawn and pot grew red leaf and green leaf box plants which he fashioned into topiary castles, knights, bishops, queens, kings and pawns. Many were invited to play in what became known as the Albert chess garden (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berchtesgaden).

Beautiful garden, but one had to drive mheils and mheils of dusty, dirty back roads sieget there!

Ach!

Garden über alles!!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/11/2015 22:08:55
My new friend business acquaintance from The Third Reich...errr....I mean Germany just might be a stutterer.

He's constantly writing me sentences that have
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F3B5369B9-E6AB-4F7D-96EA-6075B3676AF3.jpg&hash=7afef3bca3e61b432a9cde6073c2cc17) in them.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/11/2015 23:04:01
My new friend from The Third Reich...errr....I mean Germany just might be a stutterer.

He's constantly writing me sentences that have
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F3B5369B9-E6AB-4F7D-96EA-6075B3676AF3.jpg&hash=7afef3bca3e61b432a9cde6073c2cc17) in them.

S, s, I have seen them. Unfortunately he is suffering with a small bladder complaint at the moment. As you can guess t' po under his bed is essential.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/11/2015 23:17:51
Don't you mean "substantial"?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/11/2015 23:27:28
Before I act rashly, I am reminded when confronting a tough dilemma, "I should first Müller this over, sleep on it -- before reichacting foolishly."


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/11/2015 02:09:04

My new friend business acquaintance from The Third Reich...


Above edit to Reply #4325 --- top of page



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/11/2015 03:06:58
I went to the barber for a herr cat. He was hard of hearing, so I bald at him, 'No 2, all over please.'

When Yul Brynner went to the barber, it took him a long time to twig who it was, but eventually he unlocked the truth.

After spending some time in the loo, I had to claim I had been doing a No 2, though I hadn't. The barber saw through my story and said it was a sham poo.


Oh comb comb now, those puns weren't so bad as to be brushed aside.

Don_1 yet again wins an Award for puns that comb not be beat!


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB7371567-9909-4D58-B587-A1A8A85BE160.jpg&hash=a9ec0e91b7a243e161e1b93acd143d9c)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/11/2015 09:20:57
Last time I went to the barber, I asked him if he could do something different with my hair. He gave me a No. 2 all over (as usual) swept up the cuttings from the floor and threw them out of the window. I gave him a puzzled look. He said, "Usually I would throw it in the bin, but you wanted me to do something different with it so...."

Perhaps that'll teach me to be a little more concise.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/11/2015 09:31:21
It was a clear, cloudless winter's day in London town, yet people in the street were getting wet. The Vicar dashed into the office block and up the stairs onto the roof. There he found one of his parishioners relieving himself over the parapet.
"What are you doing?" he screamed.
"I am doing exactly as you said." Replied the man.
"No, no," said the Vicar, "what I said was peace on all men."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/11/2015 12:19:44
November 19th.

Today is National Blow Bagpipes Day (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.4smileys.com%2Fsmileys%2Fmusic-smileys%2Fbagpipe.gif&hash=c2c1210d02057e2744b501c34ed7f635) (http://www.4smileys.com)Coincidentally it is also National Have a Bad Day Day.(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femo%2Fangry%2Ftearing-hair.gif&hash=32643de9c94b3560dcf7ef60091995aa)

What’s more today is also Nouveau Beaujolais Day and World Toilet Day, another coincidence???
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Fdrink%2Fdrinking-wine-smiley-emoticon.gif&hash=8ed8660cc42209627f0f3c919845e5c5)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fbathroom-knocker.gif&hash=70d5c1afc645a278d406a7843c309d65)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 19/11/2015 12:35:03
It was the Scottish Indoor Tennis Championships.

In the bar a bowl of peanuts was accidentally knocked on to the floor.
“Guve me the Hoover, Jock, I’ll clean that oop.” Said a barman.
“Och, I’m afraid the Hoover is broken Jimmy.” Replied the head barman.
“Oh dear ohh dear. If we’ve got no vac Jock, I’ll fetch the dustpan & brush then.
“Och, that’s andy, murry-up then afore they get trodden into the carpet.”
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 20/11/2015 01:01:58

Today is World Toilet Day

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fbathroom-knocker.gif&hash=70d5c1afc645a278d406a7843c309d65)



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FE5801494-7B91-4DE5-A8D2-15D8A69616B4_1.gif&hash=0489c51b000c1916c9d32565eefc044c)




Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 23/11/2015 00:46:03
Perhaps that'll teach him not to pick hard on the toilet roll in future.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/11/2015 00:58:44
Did you spock the pun in my last post?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 24/11/2015 15:18:05
Indeed I did, but I would have preferred, to have seen him, kick it to the kirk, rather then the drain....!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/11/2015 00:38:43
Its tissue Jim, but not as we know it.

Now what do I do about the Klingons?

I blame the height of the pan, its just su lu.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 25/11/2015 00:41:49
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fbathroom-knocker.gif&hash=70d5c1afc645a278d406a7843c309d65)

Are you finished in there yet???

u huru up will you PLEEEEZE
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/11/2015 23:13:42
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F7CAFD407-288F-4404-B09B-41F2B65D85DF.gif&hash=e6bbf017a6e6c6fd849265c3b4890700)

From The Independent (UK):

"Thanksgiving is the latest US tradition to take root in the UK, as one in six of us celebrate 'Brits-giving'

Thanksgiving has no place in British tradition. But, never ones to pass up an excuse for a feast, more of us are gobbling turkey and pumpkin pie..."



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/11/2015 23:56:18
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fbathroom-knocker.gif&hash=70d5c1afc645a278d406a7843c309d65)

Are you finished in there yet???

u huru up will you PLEEEEZE

I *am*


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F68881C74-9A4C-44F0-86BC-25F257114D7B.png&hash=3c686634123bbd004d80ffc2da1037d9)

ing!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/11/2015 12:03:26
"Thanksgiving has no place in British tradition. "

So sayeth The Independent.

Not so, Independent. In the USA 'Thanksgiving' is celebrated on the 4th Thursday of November and in Canada on the on the 2nd Monday of October. In Britain, where it is known as 'Harvest Festival', it has been celebrated since pagan times on the occurrence of the Harvest Moon (the nearest full moon to the autumn equinox (22 or 23 September).
This celebration of the harvest is common to many countries and falls in line with their harvest time.
Saxon's, settled in Britain from around AD 43. The Anglo-Saxon farmers would offer the first sheaf of corn to the god of fertility to ensure a good crop the following year. The last sheaf (believed to contain the Spirit of the corn) was cut along with the ritual sacrifice of an animal (usually a hare) and the straw made into an effigy of the animal. This eventually gave rise to the Corn Dolly.

"Thanksgiving is the latest US tradition to take root in the UK, as one in six of us celebrate 'Brits-giving'

Hmmm, Methinks you're about 2000 yrs out and should be looking across the channel to Germany, not the Atlantic to 'The New World'.


So to keep in line with this thread's subject....

".....more of us are gobbling turkey and pumpkin pie..."

I would rather a slice of punkin pie, if you don't mind.



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 27/11/2015 12:11:02
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fbathroom-knocker.gif&hash=70d5c1afc645a278d406a7843c309d65)

Are you finished in there yet???

u huru up will you PLEEEEZE

I *am*


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F68881C74-9A4C-44F0-86BC-25F257114D7B.png&hash=3c686634123bbd004d80ffc2da1037d9)

ing!

Well, three cheers for that!

Hip hip hurry, hip hip hurry, hip hip.... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fpissing.gif&hash=b441f8555c1b7bb409215e61ef9d0b2c) too late!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/11/2015 05:59:48
"Thanksgiving has no place in British tradition. "

So sayeth The Independent.

Not so, Independent. In the USA 'Thanksgiving' is celebrated on the 4th Thursday of November and in Canada on the on the 2nd Monday of October. In Britain, where it is known as 'Harvest Festival', it has been celebrated since pagan times on the occurrence of the Harvest Moon (the nearest full moon to the autumn equinox (22 or 23 September).
This celebration of the harvest is common to many countries and falls in line with their harvest time.
Saxon's, settled in Britain from around AD 43. The Anglo-Saxon farmers would offer the first sheaf of corn to the god of fertility to ensure a good crop the following year. The last sheaf (believed to contain the Spirit of the corn) was cut along with the ritual sacrifice of an animal (usually a hare) and the straw made into an effigy of the animal. This eventually gave rise to the Corn Dolly.

"Thanksgiving is the latest US tradition to take root in the UK, as one in six of us celebrate 'Brits-giving'

Hmmm, Methinks you're about 2000 yrs out and should be looking across the channel to Germany, not the Atlantic to 'The New World'.


So to keep in line with this thread's subject....

".....more of us are gobbling turkey and pumpkin pie..."

I would rather a slice of punkin pie, if you don't mind.





I stand cornected !



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/11/2015 06:17:10
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F717C57FC-7826-4685-BB0F-9ABCC76C30C6.jpg&hash=41324e9c798a111ad5c87b823ee36008)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/11/2015 13:26:26
The ater of cold meats.

Pardon my bad grammar** that should be 'eater'.


** That's Grammar in the bottom right hand of the picture, or is it Grandpa?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 30/11/2015 13:30:29


I stand cornected !





corn u copia with all these corrections?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 30/11/2015 22:59:12


I stand cornected !





corn u copia with all these corrections?

How do I cope with change?

I put it in the parking meter.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/12/2015 20:45:47

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fbathroom-knocker.gif&hash=70d5c1afc645a278d406a7843c309d65)

Are you finished in there yet???

u huru up will you PLEEEEZE

I *am*


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F68881C74-9A4C-44F0-86BC-25F257114D7B.png&hash=3c686634123bbd004d80ffc2da1037d9)

ing!

Well, three cheers for that!

Hip hip hurry, hip hip hurry, hip hip.... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fpissing.gif&hash=b441f8555c1b7bb409215e61ef9d0b2c) too late!

I guess that was The Last Hurrah!

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/12/2015 20:54:41
Did you spock the pun in my last post?
Indeed I did, but I would have preferred, to have seen him, kick it to the kirk, rather then the drain....!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.animateit.net%2Fdata%2Fmedia%2Fjune2010%2Favatar_4437.gif&hash=db25974c0b30eaa7145f521d0b654bed)

Good one, Karen!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/12/2015 23:50:03

I went to the barber for a herr cat. He was hard tired of hear herring...


Sorry, Don_1, old chap, but one good turn edit deserves another...
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/12/2015 03:18:21
A graphic clarification, if I am permitted...

It was a clear, cloudless winter's day in London town, yet people in the street were getting wet. The Vicar dashed into the office block and up the stairs onto the roof. There he found one of his parishioners relieving himself over the parapet.
"What are you doing?" he screamed.
"I am doing exactly as you said." Replied the man.
"No, no," said the Vicar, "what I said was peace on all men."
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fpissing.gif&hash=b441f8555c1b7bb409215e61ef9d0b2c)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F63A10836-B6B7-4AFC-BD9B-79CD2F5DC232.gif&hash=54b086c87e3db153f42a63e6b4a00a51)
                                              edit: add-on gif



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/12/2015 11:16:37

...... one good 'ed 'it deserves another...

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-violent080.gif&hash=5ea78454db683de255776a493790195f) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) That's what I call good 'ed 'itting.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/12/2015 11:40:49

I guess that was The Last Hurrah!


🎼Hurrah you with last night,
    Under the pale moonlight.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/12/2015 11:43:05
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.animateit.net%2Fdata%2Fmedia%2Fjune2010%2Favatar_4437.gif&hash=db25974c0b30eaa7145f521d0b654bed)

Look's like you've been sold a pup.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/12/2015 19:17:35

Look's like you've been sold a pup.


soda pop?

Yes, it's sodalicious!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/12/2015 19:32:54

...... one good 'ed 'it deserves another...

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-violent080.gif&hash=5ea78454db683de255776a493790195f) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) That's what I call good 'ed 'itting.


Did you hear about the guy who got 'it in the 'ed with a can of soda?

He was lucky it was a soft drink.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 02/12/2015 19:44:58

I guess that was The Last Hurrah!


🎼Hurrah you with last night,
    Under the pale moonlight.


🎼When Johnny comes marching home again, hurrah, hurrah...


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/12/2015 12:17:37

Look's like you've been sold a pup.


soda pop?

Yes, it's sodalicious!


So da gloves are off are they?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 03/12/2015 12:39:04

🎼When Johnny comes marching home again, hurrah, hurrah...


Would an equivalent British lyric be

🎼When Tommy comes marching home again huzzah huzzah

???

What song might this be?
[diagram=762_0]
Yankee Doodle.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/12/2015 01:22:02

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB2C32776-FDFC-456C-8CE6-0ED70D584421.png.jpeg&hash=8f1f41574243feb899f48b31162ce074)


Is this what you meant?

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F50F441AA-7191-433B-BECD-CB1CF3FE94FB.jpg&hash=b25ce7f8534f40cb0381a9f46668b4b2)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/12/2015 01:32:10

Look's like you've been sold a pup.


soda pop?

Yes, it's sodalicious!


So da gloves are off are they?


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FBE6EAFBE-8528-414C-8756-C7D50F6A49EB.gif&hash=b329848f6da6a592838e29f970e9e195)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/12/2015 08:16:25

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FBE6EAFBE-8528-414C-8756-C7D50F6A49EB.gif&hash=b329848f6da6a592838e29f970e9e195)


Two of them seem to be able to talk 'hands free'. With somewhat more modestly covered bosoms, which did not cause distraction for the judges, they received their MENSA scores' on time, but the one in the middle seems to have had hers delayed. One can only say that due to her chest, IQ late.

I think she just washed her hands and is trying to flick the water off and scored a direct hit in the other blonde's eye.

I've been sitting here watching her for 10 minutes now waiting for something to pop out, but no such luck, so I suppose you can't knock her sense of dress.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 04/12/2015 08:22:39
Today is National Cookie day.

Doesn't that just take the biscuit.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/12/2015 22:42:47


...they received their MENSA scores' on time...


Undoubtedly due to their MENSAtration period.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 04/12/2015 22:44:09
Today is National Cookie day.

Doesn't that just take the biscuit.

If a dog biscuit, please use collie flour.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/12/2015 17:12:29
Today is National Cookie day.

Doesn't that just take the biscuit.

If a dog biscuit, please use collie flour.

Would you feed these to all the lads & Lassies?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/12/2015 17:29:53


...they received their MENSA scores' on time...


Undoubtedly due to their MENSAtration period.


WHOA! Steady on there Demo, I would strongly advise you not to tamper on this subject for fear of a feminist backlash such as:

"MEN! Oh pause your sexist comments."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/12/2015 18:06:04


...they received their MENSA scores' on time...


Undoubtedly due to their MENSAtration period.


WHOA! Steady on there Demo, I would strongly advise you not to tamper on this subject for fear of a feminist backlash such as:

"MEN! Oh pause your sexist comments."

Yes, I agree.

The femmes insist on it.

Thank you for the heads up, my pauseture will be different from this moment on!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/12/2015 23:57:05

 pauseture


Speaking of pauseture, if a dog made a ceramic model of the famous tower in Pisa, might it be known as paws a lean?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 06/12/2015 11:16:20
Only to the females.  The males are more likely to call it the leaning tower of pees...ahh.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/12/2015 19:56:52

Only to the females.  The males are more likely to call it the leaning tower of pees...ahh.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F3FB4181A-0CAA-42C1-9373-2E360F15497C.jpg&hash=1d2f8b014b081230663027822e316711)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fpissing.gif&hash=b441f8555c1b7bb409215e61ef9d0b2c)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fpissing.gif&hash=b441f8555c1b7bb409215e61ef9d0b2c)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fpissing.gif&hash=b441f8555c1b7bb409215e61ef9d0b2c)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fpissing.gif&hash=b441f8555c1b7bb409215e61ef9d0b2c)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fpissing.gif&hash=b441f8555c1b7bb409215e61ef9d0b2c)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sherv.net%2Fcm%2Femoticons%2Ftoilet%2Fpissing.gif&hash=b441f8555c1b7bb409215e61ef9d0b2c)
pees borrowed without Don_1's permission



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 08/12/2015 23:26:25
Wow, she's strong!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/12/2015 16:13:28
Only to the females.  The males are more likely to call it the leaning tower of pees...ahh.

 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 09/12/2015 16:15:52
Wow, she's strong!

Yes, I can smell her from here.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/12/2015 21:28:55

Wow, she's strong!


I'm strong, too.

See my finger directly below:

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F22B00E85-4AC9-4A3C-B8BF-042E67D3D4D8_2.jpg&hash=4d22669cea193783bf26151ac5ce6521)







Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/12/2015 01:29:20

Wow, she's strong!


I'm strong, too.

See my finger directly below:

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F22B00E85-4AC9-4A3C-B8BF-042E67D3D4D8_2.jpg&hash=4d22669cea193783bf26151ac5ce6521)

I'm sure I've seen that appendage before somewhere, but where? I just cant put my finger on it.

If I knuckle down and keep thinking on it, I'm sure to nail it sooner or later.

I don't want to palm you off with a guess.

You know how you sometimes know something, but it just wont come to mind, so its on your mind for the wrist of the day.

Come on, help me out here, throw me a lifeline somebody please.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/12/2015 01:53:25
Dec was standing under a lamp post on the corner of 42nd and Lexington. There was a loud screech of brakes. A car pals up and a voice from the back seat says, "Get in decs. 'That voice rings a bell.' Dec thought. He recognised it from his days in the army.
"I never bow down to anyone." Dec said.
"So I heard." Said the voice from the back of the car.
Then another voice, backed up with a hand gun said "'El bow to you Boss."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/12/2015 04:54:56

Wow, she's strong!


I'm strong, too.

See my finger directly below:

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F22B00E85-4AC9-4A3C-B8BF-042E67D3D4D8_2.jpg&hash=4d22669cea193783bf26151ac5ce6521)

I'm sure I've seen that appendage before somewhere, but where? I just cant put my finger on it.

If I knuckle down and keep thinking on it, I'm sure to nail it sooner or later...




You certainly
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FBE947A75-556E-4573-A4DD-F4B233EA2E73_3.jpg&hash=af752a5ceb406eadaddc0d95b523efd8)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/12/2015 05:35:06

Come on, help me out here, throw me a lifeline somebody please.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F6C104D44-2DB7-48ED-9787-6621454D2357.gif&hash=15b95cbea440c4afd42c8b6593069daa)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/12/2015 00:31:15
Wow, she's strong!

Yes, I can smell her from here.


Does she smell like the ocean?

Maybe something fishy is up!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/12/2015 01:29:31

Come on, help me out here, throw me a lifeline somebody please.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F6C104D44-2DB7-48ED-9787-6621454D2357.gif&hash=15b95cbea440c4afd42c8b6593069daa)

Oh buoy!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/12/2015 01:44:41
Wow, she's strong!

Yes, I can smell her from here.


Does she smell like the ocean?

Maybe something fishy is up!

"Ha Doc, tell me now, and don't skate around the issue, what do I smell of?"

"Och aye now ma sweet bonny lass, ya dinna smell like some ol' trout, if that's what you're thinking."

"What d' ya mean by that Doc?"

"Och ta puss it another way, lassie, you smell like a ray of sunshine to me."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/12/2015 21:04:12

Wow, she's strong!

Yes, I can smell her from here.


Does she smell like the ocean?

Maybe something fishy is up!

"Ha Doc, tell me now, and don't skate around the issue, what do I smell of?"

"Och aye now ma sweet bonny lass, ya dinna smell like some ol' trout, if that's what you're thinking."

"What d' ya mean by that Doc?"

"Och ta puss it another way, lassie, you smell like a ray of sunshine to me."

"I smelt it Doc. Let's not have a roe over it."

"Why are your hands so clammy?"

"Oy, don't staere at me like that!"

"Oh, ok, go ahead and report me, lassie, I don't really give a crab!"






Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 14/12/2015 11:31:03

"Oh, ok, go ahead and report me, lassie, I don't really give a crab!"


You may be having a whale of a time with your razor sharp wit and your cwrasse comments, but Sea you Lassie, you'll no want ta be making anemone of me. So stop this clowning around, pay your bill, which is sick squid, and be away with you now.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/12/2015 01:02:44

"Oh, ok, go ahead and report me, lassie, I don't really give a crab!"


You may be having a whale of a time...


No I'm not...for what porpoise?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/12/2015 03:47:54
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2A7A3411-3831-4877-9E3D-06FB595E0FF3_9.gif&hash=54f3126b5d8b047d3bf8ac294675461a)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/12/2015 10:43:49

"Oh, ok, go ahead and report me, lassie, I don't really give a crab!"


You may be having a whale of a time...


No I'm not...for what porpoise?


Maybe it is just because you are a Man at ees with your lot and cuttle the fish into goujons rather than flounder with the gutting knife and sea horsemeat on the table, rather than les fruits de mare.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/12/2015 10:48:59
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F2A7A3411-3831-4877-9E3D-06FB595E0FF3_9.gif&hash=54f3126b5d8b047d3bf8ac294675461a)

I have a poorpoise, my poise is always empty!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 21/12/2015 04:28:48


...cuttle the fish into goujons...


Hmmmmm. Seems more like chicken
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F22B00E85-4AC9-4A3C-B8BF-042E67D3D4D8_2.jpg&hash=4d22669cea193783bf26151ac5ce6521)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F22B00E85-4AC9-4A3C-B8BF-042E67D3D4D8_2.jpg&hash=4d22669cea193783bf26151ac5ce6521)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F22B00E85-4AC9-4A3C-B8BF-042E67D3D4D8_2.jpg&hash=4d22669cea193783bf26151ac5ce6521)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F22B00E85-4AC9-4A3C-B8BF-042E67D3D4D8_2.jpg&hash=4d22669cea193783bf26151ac5ce6521)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F22B00E85-4AC9-4A3C-B8BF-042E67D3D4D8_2.jpg&hash=4d22669cea193783bf26151ac5ce6521)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F22B00E85-4AC9-4A3C-B8BF-042E67D3D4D8_2.jpg&hash=4d22669cea193783bf26151ac5ce6521)

fingers


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FE4AF4BAB-A88D-4EFF-8CE1-D9C8481D64C0.gif&hash=a2ae1ea37dfb18cc93be82183a4fbcbe)





Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 23/12/2015 20:00:16

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F4AB96207-710E-4B76-B355-9DC9A7734DE4.gif&hash=dc01d44c5b4737471d7bd967f5269633)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/12/2015 01:25:42
Does this mean yule be spending Xmas in a log cabin Demo?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/12/2015 01:27:20
I see the sea is low, it must be the Yule tide.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 24/12/2015 01:33:01
(https://smileyshack.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/sxmas_sign_merrychristmas_100-101.gif?w=150&h=49)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/12/2015 22:24:14


(https://smileyshack.files.wordpress.com/2010/12/sxmas_sign_merrychristmas_100-101.gif?w=150&h=49)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F91A3CEFC-AA5A-40C0-A4C0-DD6774C3D8FC.gif&hash=0f4fc920e1b21b7d5162624ad2685878)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 24/12/2015 22:38:13

Does this mean yule be spending Xmas in a log cabin Demo?


No, Don_1, I'll just be logging in to this punning thread!

Isn't that logical?


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 25/12/2015 17:46:36
Does this mean yule be spending Xmas in a log cabin Demo?

I see the sea is low, it must be the Yule tide.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F6E40A20E-42F8-451E-8369-778FA5522D48.jpg&hash=46321c9a204ca11397d98a43fb2128de)

Yes...Yule be surprised to hear: Don_1 racks up yet another Award!


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/01/2016 04:00:08



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F71C65480-404B-4BF7-BD5F-5528DB7A7BDB.gif&hash=d7082cad262535b16ad628587ace3cec)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 02/01/2016 21:41:02
Yule ball* me over with your giffs one day.

Don't over-do the puns here, Demo, or I can see accusations that you hog manay posts.


*Harry Potter pun.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/01/2016 19:26:26
Yule ball* me over with your giffs one day.

Don't over-do the puns here, Demo, or I can see accusations that you hog manay posts.


*Harry Potter pun.



Oh, stop with the possible accusations, Don_1!

Why won't you just let me enjoy edin my burgher and drinking my soda???


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F68AFE7EB-780D-4FB6-886C-14F4B069F145_1.jpg&hash=625fa54fd0da5375af2039bea64f4af0)<<<<<<<demo's hair circa 1965


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 03/01/2016 20:42:37

...I can see accusations that you hog manay posts.


Plural nounsense!!

Where's your proof?


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F267E325C-7E33-4651-ABD4-1A45C98603C5.jpg&hash=4154b4f53b53d38e807fb61acfd1edc4)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA6F27FD0-E94B-487E-8751-EA277611E4E3.jpg&hash=8f903c1f904a6715e3e6d93ca3e41000)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F9A8BC0E0-595D-4B60-B762-80A7DB2BD3F4.jpg&hash=584903f69680bbfdf441ee5c9d394265)

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/01/2016 13:45:35

Where's your proof?


Proof! Proof?

You ask me for proof, what do you think I am? A proofessor?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 05/01/2016 14:00:51

Why won't you just let me enjoy edin my burgher and drinking my soda???


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F68AFE7EB-780D-4FB6-886C-14F4B069F145_1.jpg&hash=625fa54fd0da5375af2039bea64f4af0)


The last time I left you to your own devices with a take-away, I found you with some Peruvian of questionable character named Edna Bucket.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freakingnews.com%2Fpictures%2F81000%2FKFC-Hat--81090.jpg&hash=465bee57a100cdea784038fa6d95d50a)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/01/2016 21:22:16

Why won't you just let me enjoy edin my burgher and drinking my soda???


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F68AFE7EB-780D-4FB6-886C-14F4B069F145_1.jpg&hash=625fa54fd0da5375af2039bea64f4af0)


The last time I left you to your own devices with a take-away, I found you with some Peruvian of questionable character named Edna Bucket.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freakingnews.com%2Fpictures%2F81000%2FKFC-Hat--81090.jpg&hash=465bee57a100cdea784038fa6d95d50a)


Questionable character!!!???! Grrrrr!

Ok then! I'll Machu Picchu for picture then!

Winner takes all!!

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0413840D-D57C-47E9-BACD-01B34E2BE716.jpg&hash=da6fd8c18b5d91d112b8fe0c18e055fd)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/01/2016 00:53:11
Looks like that Mount has been Snowd on
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bbc.co.uk%2Fstaticarchive%2F1e3e45f793187e58938e28d878d8919d69e74fee.jpg&hash=dd6b174f6a1934595c1ff9492fa0047e)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/01/2016 01:04:43
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.newpig.com%2Fwcsstore%2FNewPigUSCatalogAssetStore%2FAttachment%2Fimages%2FprdImgs_large%2FSGN1012_W1_L.jpg&hash=3edcddbc59b283a37a89f3ec0256aee1)
Mount Signeye?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/01/2016 01:11:55
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.newpig.com%2Fwcsstore%2FNewPigUSCatalogAssetStore%2FAttachment%2Fimages%2FprdImgs_large%2FSGN1012_W1_L.jpg&hash=3edcddbc59b283a37a89f3ec0256aee1)
Mount Signeye?

Eye am not sure if that sEYEne is correct.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/01/2016 01:13:49
When Hollywood heart-throb Burt Lancaster said he wanted to climb the highest peak in the Rockies, Spencer Tracy said to him, " 'Ell bert its a long way to the top."
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 06/01/2016 01:16:19
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.newpig.com%2Fwcsstore%2FNewPigUSCatalogAssetStore%2FAttachment%2Fimages%2FprdImgs_large%2FSGN1012_W1_L.jpg&hash=3edcddbc59b283a37a89f3ec0256aee1)
Mount Signeye?

Eye am not sure if that sEYEne is correct.

Oh I'm sure it must be, after all it is heye visibility.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/01/2016 11:26:14
Looks like that Mount has been Snowd on
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bbc.co.uk%2Fstaticarchive%2F1e3e45f793187e58938e28d878d8919d69e74fee.jpg&hash=dd6b174f6a1934595c1ff9492fa0047e)
When Hollywood heart-throb Burt Lancaster said he wanted to climb the highest peak in the Rockies, Spencer Tracy said to him, " 'Ell bert its a long way to the top."


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC4CA4027-2F63-4FCF-8C38-47735A380994_1.jpg&hash=ce548ba870944532920067bf3a554489)



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/01/2016 11:31:58
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.newpig.com%2Fwcsstore%2FNewPigUSCatalogAssetStore%2FAttachment%2Fimages%2FprdImgs_large%2FSGN1012_W1_L.jpg&hash=3edcddbc59b283a37a89f3ec0256aee1)
Mount Signeye?

Eye am not sure if that sEYEne is correct.

Oh I'm sure it must be, after all it is heye visibility.


Are you on the [eye] level?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 06/01/2016 11:58:27
EYE am posting this for Donnah!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC0676B07-B7C4-42B5-ACDF-4EF31FEAF4CC.gif&hash=7e4363e4a20f0a143614c711178a8c4e)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/01/2016 01:07:06
EYE am posting this for Donnah!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC0676B07-B7C4-42B5-ACDF-4EF31FEAF4CC.gif&hash=7e4363e4a20f0a143614c711178a8c4e)

How thoughtful of you, Demo. Allow me to second you:-
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.driving-test-success.com%2Fdriving-articles%2Fcats-eyes.jpg&hash=4a779b2af97d820b71083bc948bf3512)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/01/2016 01:18:33
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC4CA4027-2F63-4FCF-8C38-47735A380994_1.jpg&hash=ce548ba870944532920067bf3a554489)

 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 07/01/2016 01:30:09
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FC4CA4027-2F63-4FCF-8C38-47735A380994_1.jpg&hash=ce548ba870944532920067bf3a554489)


 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/01/2016 00:33:19
Don_1:   "I really hope that someone is mountain a search party.

Searchers are now mounting one.

Again! 

Those men never take a rest!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 08/01/2016 12:04:32
Searchers are now mounting one.

Those men never take a rest!

OK Men, Ural here to search for some lost and injured mountaineers. One has hurt his andes and wristies, the other has a broken pair of knees. Make sure you have some US currency with you as there is a café between the two peaks where a dollar mite come in handy for a cup of hot soup & a roll, but don't gorge yourself.

Keep yourselves warm. We don't want you to get a cramp on.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/01/2016 20:28:49
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA80B2795-FA72-4472-B4B3-974067D92B4A.gif&hash=cc294add14bfdfc9e08fabe87df3a69c)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/01/2016 21:55:46

Keep yourselves warm. We don't want you to get a cramp on.


Snow what if we get a cramp on?

It's really not a big deal, Don_1.

Do you get my drift?




Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/01/2016 03:05:26

 [ Invalid Attachment ]


Take my hand,
I'm a strange looking parasite
All lost in a leeching land
A strange looking parasite

If I stand hosting eyed,
That's a danger for parasites
Exploiters who stand beside
An angel like us
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 09/01/2016 07:35:07
Searchers are now mounting one.

Those men never take a rest!

OK Men, Ural here to search for some lost and injured mountaineers. One has hurt his andes and wristies, the other has a broken pair of knees. Make sure you have some US currency with you as there is a café between the two peaks where a dollar mite come in handy for a cup of hot soup & a roll, but don't gorge yourself.

Keep yourselves warm. We don't want you to get a cramp on.


The sporting goods store owner wanted to stop a robbery from mounting but he didn't have a gun -- only a store merchandise item of bow & arrow -- so he pierced the robber as he was fleeing with an arrow in his back.

It just goes to show you, that you can Kill ai man with just an arrow.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 11/01/2016 09:29:06

Snow what if we get a cramp on?

It's really not a big deal, Don_1.

Do you get my drift?


I certainly do get your drift and accordingly invite you to have a lunch on me.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 11/01/2016 09:33:23

The sporting goods store owner wanted to stop a robbery from mounting but he didn't have a gun -- only a store merchandise item of bow & arrow -- so he pierced the robber as he was fleeing with an arrow in his back.

It just goes to show you, that you can Kill ai man with just an arrow.


Demografx wins this month's contrived pun award and receives this engraved glassy 'ere.

 [ Invalid Attachment ]
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 11/01/2016 09:37:27
Phew, gee, What an award.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/01/2016 14:42:56

Demografx wins this month's contrived pun award and receives this engraved glassy 'ere.

 [ Invalid Attachment ]


I ce-e

I'll skip the thank you speech this time around.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/01/2016 20:15:30
The State of Mountana has had Rainier weather this January.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/01/2016 20:22:37
January, 2016 is:
Learn to Ski and Snowboard Month
http://www.skiandsnowboardmonth.org

which perfectly augments the mountains of information we have gleaned from only snow-snow sources.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 11/01/2016 20:51:10
For Donnah, maybe her cat Odyn will like this. But it'snow problem if they don't:

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FD15716F8-7A52-4C53-B4A7-C1B7B18DA655.gif&hash=ff937fb8fd1dd435e3af9ad1e60e2046)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/01/2016 05:32:56
Oh! lymping behind USA are we?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 12/01/2016 11:57:28
The State of Mountana has had Rainier weather this January.


Was it not in this very state that the indigenous Indian population took umbrage with the railroad wanting to plough through their hunting lands and led to court action in which they tried to souix the NPR.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 12/01/2016 12:04:38
For Donnah, maybe her cat Odyn will like this. But it'snow problem if they don't:

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FD15716F8-7A52-4C53-B4A7-C1B7B18DA655.gif&hash=ff937fb8fd1dd435e3af9ad1e60e2046)

I wouldn't mind betting that Odyn rather than playing out in the snow is flaked out on a cosy warm cushion.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 12/01/2016 12:12:29
Oh! lymping behind USA are we?

Ah! I get the picture...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.olympus.co.uk%2Fsite%2Frmt%2Fmedia%2Fspecialpages%2Fsp_camera%2Fsp_camera_om_d_e_m1%2Fsp_camera_om_d_e_m1_img%2Fsp_camera_om_d_e_m1_img_features%2Fsp_camera_om_d_e_m1_features_dustproof_splashproof.jpg&hash=0e4cab4dab1a43beafe914e1561da838)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/01/2016 18:48:53
Oh! lymping behind USA are we?

Ah! I get the picture...
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.olympus.co.uk%2Fsite%2Frmt%2Fmedia%2Fspecialpages%2Fsp_camera%2Fsp_camera_om_d_e_m1%2Fsp_camera_om_d_e_m1_img%2Fsp_camera_om_d_e_m1_img_features%2Fsp_camera_om_d_e_m1_features_dustproof_splashproof.jpg&hash=0e4cab4dab1a43beafe914e1561da838)

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FEF6A81C7-471A-4C7A-9300-934D4C9770F3.gif&hash=61029f217ea3ca92202bc8e874501dc4)


After this TV show, she was waiting for her photos to be developed, so she sang 'Some day my prints will come'


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 12/01/2016 19:09:07
The State of Mountana has had Rainier weather this January.


Was it not in this very state that the indigenous Indian population took umbrage with the railroad wanting to plough through their hunting lands and led to court action in which they tried to souix the NPR.


No PRoblem, but I personally believe that my ancestor Sue Demografx, wasn't involved in any way.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/01/2016 00:44:23

No PRoblem, but I personally believe that my ancestor Sue Demografx, wasn't involved in any way.


But can you be sure she was genuinely your ancestor and not just a pseudo ancestor? Of course chey Anne is a different matter altogether.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/01/2016 00:47:00
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FEF6A81C7-471A-4C7A-9300-934D4C9770F3.gif&hash=61029f217ea3ca92202bc8e874501dc4)


After this TV show, she was waiting for her photos to be developed, so she sang 'Some day my prints will come'




That's what I like about you, Demo, your never negative about anything.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/01/2016 01:58:21

That's what I like about you, Demo, your never negative about anything.


Some mathematicians are on the negative side while others are quite positive.

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/01/2016 10:49:01

......... others are quite positive.


Well, that's a plus.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 13/01/2016 10:54:37

Some mathematicians are on the negative side while others are quite positive.


Which reminds me Ann ode me a fiver and Cath ode me £15.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/01/2016 14:45:04

Some mathematicians are on the negative side while others are quite positive.


Which reminds me Ann ode me a fiver and Cath ode me £15.

Ann & Cath: Twin Peaks?
http://www.hikespeak.com/trails/twin-peaks-mount-waterman/


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/01/2016 15:08:26

No PRoblem, but I personally believe that my ancestor Sue Demografx, wasn't involved in any way.


But can you be sure she was genuinely your ancestor and not just a pseudo ancestor?

No, I'm sure.

You can verify this, Don_1,  by calling my personal injury lawyer, Ms Barbara Forbear at 1-800-LETS SUE



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/01/2016 15:26:58
Today, January 14, 2016 is:
Dress Up Your Pet Day


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FB42788DB-12AC-4771-B47D-0DA1A534F27F.jpg&hash=6ad239ced0f2e07f2cb98db857535ae8)

Doggone it, I hope you're paying attention.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/01/2016 15:34:37

I wouldn't mind betting that Odyn rather than playing out in the snow is flaked out on a cosy warm cushion.


You were right. He looks adrift.


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F30EFD82F-6CE2-49FB-8A94-3EA815AE6B8C.jpg&hash=b32564fc0bac22b8980220aeca65c71e)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 14/01/2016 18:43:25

You were right. He looks adrift.



Woman as pirate adrift in a sea of snow
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F55EE9EFA-01A0-44B9-884F-F10CE63A5654.jpg&hash=b2a007dc66b5b6c13ed8509cf6a778e6)
Credit: Lori Andrews
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/01/2016 01:44:06

chey Anne is a different matter altogether.


Don_1, Why do you mingle with people like Anne?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/01/2016 15:03:12

Ann & Cath: Twin Peaks?


Yes, both of them. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.egypt4u.com%2Fforum%2Fimages%2Fsmilies%2Fsnigger.gif&hash=8c6ac12bc4033edd29e27ab56e948b81)

You could say they are two-a-breast
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.essentialibiza.com%2Fecms%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2013%2F04%2Fsunbathing.jpg&hash=34a407583748b881658174121c1ae560)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/01/2016 15:07:48

You can verify this, Don_1,  by calling my personal injury lawyer, Ms Barbara Forbear at 1-800-LETS SUE


I've heard of the 'Three Bears'. Any relation?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/01/2016 15:12:34

I wouldn't mind betting that Odyn rather than playing out in the snow is flaked out on a cosy warm cushion.


You were right. He looks adrift.

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F30EFD82F-6CE2-49FB-8A94-3EA815AE6B8C.jpg&hash=b32564fc0bac22b8980220aeca65c71e)


Despite living on an arable farm, come sun or snow, plough, he wont once he's made himself comfortable.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/01/2016 15:28:22

Woman as pirate adrift in a sea of snow
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.moderntiredealer.com%2Fpost%2FM-ice-road-truckers-20090528100637171-640w.jpg&hash=31e62b67c51dc92a0394e3212ff97634)

Credit: Lori Kenworth.

Dubious editing by Don_1

Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/01/2016 15:34:20

chey Anne is a different matter altogether.


Don_1, Why do you mingle with people like Anne?

Wy? Oh mingling is a pastime of mine.

When I want to cal I phone ya.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/01/2016 15:42:09
I've just realised Da kot ah bought is too short. The wife said it was while we were in the shop, but I just didn't listen to her and didn't bother to look in the mirror. If I had hark an' sas, I wouldn't have bought it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/01/2016 15:46:59
Oh hi! o, the state of those puns. I wouldn't blame you if U tar & feather me.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/01/2016 15:58:13
I received an email telling me I had won that huge US $1.8 lottery, but the connect I cut as soon as I realised it was a wise con sent to fleece me.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/01/2016 16:02:01
Oi! Flori, dah kettle's boiling.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/01/2016 16:08:12
It was always said, somewhat discourteously, that The Bee Gees had a mass a chu setts.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 15/01/2016 16:13:28
Oh yes! I'lliois you all with these puns. But don't be a Missouri guts. Enjoy them or ignore them.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/01/2016 16:49:23

Ann & Cath: Twin Peaks?


Yes, both of them. (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.egypt4u.com%2Fforum%2Fimages%2Fsmilies%2Fsnigger.gif&hash=8c6ac12bc4033edd29e27ab56e948b81)

You could say they are two-a-breast

Don_1 says it breast:
Phew, gee...


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/01/2016 01:44:22

You could say they are two-a-breast



(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F0C58BA53-8F53-4F5D-B299-029CF0E89012.jpg&hash=efc9b73d43ec80edbd82c483ed37c950)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/01/2016 02:32:40
I received an email telling me I had won that huge US $1.8 [billion] lottery...

Like a fool, I participated:  [no pun]

(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FEB4E1831-6CF5-4187-85A0-E49CC0525099.jpg&hash=f7eddcb2da04cf4e68e186167df7fa1b)
My actual [losing] ticket



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/01/2016 02:35:57

George is a man from Atlanta.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/01/2016 02:37:48

Oh yes! I'lliois you all with these puns. But don't be a Missouri guts. Enjoy them or ignore them.

O k it's late at homea.

My Contrived Pun Award is good till February 1st!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/01/2016 03:02:17

You can verify this, Don_1,  by calling my personal injury lawyer, Ms Barbara Forbear at 1-800-LETS SUE


I've heard of the 'Three Bears'. Any relation?

I can't bear to go through with this one more time.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 16/01/2016 04:20:27
I've just realised Da kot ah bought is too short...

Oh, c'mon! Da kot ah sold you suits you just fine.


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 28/02/2016 04:30:14
I da ho...nope, not going to elaborate.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 01/03/2016 04:16:51
I know, Boise will be Boise.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/03/2016 12:03:36
I da ho...nope, not going to elaborate.

U tahling me?

Righty ho!

Lefty rake (out in the garden).
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Don_1 on 10/03/2016 12:25:14
(https://i.ytimg.com/vi/NuJZxR_5gqE/hqdefault.jpg)

Oh dear!!!

You'd have thought he does enough blowing his own TRUMPET.

Are they called the TRUMPETTES?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/03/2016 02:02:39
Are they called the TRUMPETTES?

Why not? Ray Charles' backup singers were called The RAELETTES!


(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F52494483-0C87-41FF-A60F-2E3032736BFB.jpg&hash=1bb1192a411e72052d2c0adaa0aa0514)


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 13/03/2016 06:00:21
I da ho...nope, not going to elaborate.

U tahling me?

Righty ho!

Lefty rake (out in the garden).


Nevah da rake should be left out in da garden!



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 25/03/2016 21:27:41
NOW you tell me!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/03/2016 20:10:58
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FA56879B1-B887-436B-A504-A2CFC9933F4E.jpg&hash=2c8a3569da86a49efbe0c7fce8cb8df2)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 28/03/2016 21:10:02
That's an APPropriate cartoon for the next few generations.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 28/03/2016 22:03:02
I disagree. I think it would only APPly to just the next generation.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 27/06/2016 22:16:58
No, I dig it.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/07/2016 02:49:18
JimBob, your digging makes me sooooooooo  hAPPy !
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 18/07/2016 04:14:13
Then you are app to close the app?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/08/2016 04:28:24

Then you are app to close the app?
No, JimBob, I'm too appreciative to do that.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 26/08/2016 03:15:21
Now, I am wondering what has been done to this display on my computer.

on: 18/08/2016 04:28:24 » to a post by demo

Posted by: demografx
« on: 04/04/2016 01:04:12 » Quote (selected)

« on: 10/03/2016 12:03:36 »

Posted by: demografx
« on: 27/06/2016 22:16:58 » Quote (selected)
Posted by: demografx
« on: 28/02/2016 04:30:14 » Quote (selected)

WHY  HAVE THE TOPIC POSTS BEEN JUMBLED WHEN THIS SUBJECT IS OPENED - WHY? WHERE DO I GO WHEN I OPEN TOPIC????? Top of page or bottom?


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 26/08/2016 18:45:15
Stumped! :(
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 30/08/2016 03:25:26
Stumped! :(

Are you 1) missing part of one of one of your limbs?

           2.) sitting on the part of a tree left in the ground?

           3.) a very short midget?

WELL ????????????????????????????????????
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/09/2016 02:24:52
Not only was I 'stumped,' JimBob,  but I was barking up the wrong tree!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/09/2016 02:49:45
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2FCE74DC35-EBCA-499F-97D2-BD04EBF13054.gif&hash=808d5b17d2a741676222bdee52cb40e4)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: JimBob on 05/09/2016 06:04:43
Keep at it, my man.  You will root out the right (or left) of it!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/09/2016 22:35:00
Thanks for rooting for me.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 05/09/2016 22:45:21
Treeemendous work you've done here at TNS, JimBob.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 13/04/2017 05:26:50
That's no run of the mill saw log.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: chris on 14/04/2017 11:51:29
I can't see the wood for the trees on this thread... :'(
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: SeanB on 14/04/2017 20:14:23
You wood be barking mad not to bee able to see the difference though.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: jeffreyH on 15/04/2017 16:32:57
Wood ant it bee love alley.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 15/04/2017 22:55:52
I can't see the wood for the trees on this thread... :'(

I agree, as for est the eye can see!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: chris on 16/04/2017 23:28:07
Woodn't you know - this thread's back from the dead-wood.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/04/2017 00:04:04
And thankfully it's not threadbare.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 18/04/2017 01:58:31
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2F9AF6B17A-20FB-434D-8AAE-6E9BE4E856CA.png&hash=c8059dda223ba848fc6772ce1ccba4c0)

Don't worry Chris, if anyone buys one from me I'll donate 100% of the revenue to thenakedscientists.com !
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 07/05/2017 09:09:25
Woodn't you know - this thread's back from the dead-wood.
Sew what if this thread's back?
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 08/05/2017 09:58:48
Woodn't you know - this thread's back from the dead-wood.
Sew what if this thread's back?
Back? I'm more concerned about the thread's "front".

Is it just a busy-looking "front" for only threadbare activities?????


Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 10/05/2017 03:16:13
Cali for Knee a placements are the best bargain around as far as not being in such Missouri all the time with bad knees!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: RD on 10/05/2017 05:51:35
Cali for Knee a placements are the best bargain around ...

Kali (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kali) elbow replacements will be expensive ...

(https://www.templepurohit.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Maa-Kali-Hindu-Goddesses-and-Deities.jpg)
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 10/05/2017 09:59:27
Cali for Knee a placements are the best bargain around as far as not being in such Missouri all the time with bad knees!


I can't find the postg😩
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 10/05/2017 15:20:36
Especially if you are in need of so many, but you might ought to be ordering them in Mass a chu settes, cause its cheaper to order in sets when You have 5 sets to order!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Karen W. on 11/05/2017 07:45:43
You cant find what posting Demo?



Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 17/05/2017 07:44:26
Washing tons of clothes with the muddy spring weather on the west coast.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: demografx on 17/05/2017 19:32:26
Washing tons of clothes with the muddy spring weather on the west coast.

Too mush washing to(n) do!
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Donnah on 23/05/2017 16:53:11
No need to get prickly about it!

https://craftinvaders.co.uk/stinging-nettle-crisps-a-delicious-healthy-snack/
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: Tomassci on 01/09/2018 12:18:01
Yes, everybody loves some part of article. I too use my physicsal force. So, if tou want to, let me blend the universal matter.
Title: Re: Punning is hard(ly) work! Is groaning aloud here?
Post by: HomeWork on 08/09/2018 16:37:25
And maybe she was the daughter of a pianist?