Naked Science Forum
General Discussion & Feedback => Just Chat! => Topic started by: Titanscape on 08/01/2006 12:32:40
-
Is sex still a matter of honour to you fellows?
Is it about relationship or skill and gratification?
Must you love someone first, be a friend, consider the past and future?
Are you fair?
If you agree with my ideals, do you try to hold to them, perhaps a little, perhaps a lot?
Titanscape
-
Sex is a matter of honour, you are either honour or mostly offher.
Hope this helps
-
Andrew - your puns are getting almost as bad as mine!
Sex - what posh people have their coal delivered in.
-
quote:
Originally posted by Andrew K Fletcher
Sex is a matter of honour, you are either honour or mostly offher.
Hope this helps
thats brilliant lol
-
quote:
Originally posted by Andrew K Fletcher
Sex is a matter of honour, you are either honour or mostly offher.
Hope this helps
[:D][:D]...nice !!
Men are the same as women.... just inside out !!
-
What is honour or off her?
It is an honour to have and enjoy and to be intimate with another person, however, the honour can become common. Also it can become profane.
Titanscape
-
quote:
Originally posted by Titanscape
What is honour or off her?
It is an honour to have and enjoy and to be intimate with another person, however, the honour can become common. Also it can become profane.
Titanscape
Hi Bren,
It is quite obvious that you have a high regard and respect for the fairer sex when it comes to matters of intimacy and sexuality. I see you as a very honourable person in this matter.
You ask a lot of questions which depending on the person and circumstances has many different answers.
For some, sex is most certainly the utmost act of intimacy between two people who love each other very much. It is seen as the paramount way of demonstrating ones’ affection and at the same time, your allowing yourself to be touched in this way, allowing the sensations to be reciprocated, also demonstrates the ultimate in trust and love.
For others…sex is literally just about sex…it is an act of shared selfish pleasure amongst two people (or more) who may be very good friends and like to share this fun past time. It’s worth noting that sex between lovers may also be just as intimate despite their extra curricular sexual activities with other people ! It may also be seen just as an act of comfort between good friends !
So, there are really two fundamental answers, YES it is a matter of honour and relationship and YES it is also a matter of skill, gratification and pleasure.
There are people who believe that the sanctity of sex between each other still holds true, because it is between the two of them and it's imbibed with true love and affection......…these lovers may also just enjoy sex between each other...for pleasure sake too !!!.. It all depends on the ‘ heat of the moment’……at the same time they may also believe that sex is a wonderful pleasurable past time (almost a hobby) and have no problem in sharing their fun with others who also like to share. In this regard it is not necessary to love someone first.
In fact when you look at it from a different angle Bren, people (swingers) who hold true their ideals of fun with other people must have the utmost trust for each other too , to allow their other halves to participate with others…they understand that sex and love can be separate issues.
Men are the same as women.... just inside out !!
-
NA sorry neil i prefer andrews explanation. keep it up andrew
Michael HAPPY NEW YEAR (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi11.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa186%2Fukmicky%2Fparty-smiley-012.gif&hash=844994fd61764508c533537d6874634d)
-
quote:
Originally posted by ukmicky
NA sorry neil i prefer andrews explanation. keep it up andrew
Michael HAPPY NEW YEAR (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi11.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fa186%2Fukmicky%2Fparty-smiley-012.gif&hash=844994fd61764508c533537d6874634d)
YEP...so do I [:)]
Men are the same as women.... just inside out !!
-
The original question is so broad as to defy discussion in less than 600 pages, but I will try anyway.
Andrews reply is cute enough.
I wonder if the word "honour" is best or if "honest" might be better.I note that both men and women are capable of viewing sexual activity as anything from corrupting and satanic to romantic and angelic. There is less honesty and communication than we might wish to see in a perfect world.
Given: there are unacceptable behaviors that we often see associated with sex. Having sex with someone who is not your spouse and lying about it to your spouse. Pressuring or raping a woman when asking is not succesful. Murdering a lover because they have told you that they are going to leave you. Infecting a parner with an STD because you are unwilling to admit that you are infected, or simply too afraid to get tested. We are talking about human survival in some of these cases; in other cases we are only talking about psychological damage of varying degrees.
Many would put "having sex just for pleasure, without love or committment" on the unacceptable list. I would leave it off that list, provided both partners are clear on what is going on and provided an unwanted baby does not result.
chris wiegard
-
So people's views vary.
There is an interaction and exchange of honour in sex, particularly in marriage. And the honour can be lost if is given away to the third person. For some people honour matters a lot, but for others it is just, like, nothing. Soldiers for example place a high value on honour and leave home for long periods during service time.
You can be selfish and cruel to a friend to make "more than friends" with her rival or his rival. Such is called "sexual betrayal". And the honour is is lost, real as any matter, eg Carbon, but conceptual and it may end up as a pub boast. Such would really hurt me. The past years together is off loaded for gratification. So friends with and enemy in enjoying him and he her, and dishonour and a marked, hurt future. A hated soul tattoo.
Then after sex can be a commitment to him, and a friendship and soul, divided between enemies. And the humiliation that, she thought, after knowing me for years, that just a few minutes or a few times with him would be worthwhile... Risking her friendship with me. Then only to keep the look of friendship through hypocrasy. Incognito sex with me would be like date rape after that.
Actions speak louder than words. What does she think of me at those moments in sex with him, then me.
And the further humiliation that he may have possessed her more strongly than me. My own one. No good, I hate it.
I love honour; friendship and love are my ideals and also there is my christian interest in holiness.
Separation from the world to God and extra marital sex is union with unholiness and a contradiction. A belief thing.
There are many trained counselors dealing with infidelity.
Some people then confess, "I did it too" or there is revenge infidelity, "show ya how it feels b****" they end up swinging.
Honour was in fashion now people are eclectic...
Home wreckers are disliked. Children and their futures really do matter. Sex can either build or destroy lives. From a young person's point of view it is fun, but this can be short sighted.
Titanscape
-
Titanscape
Putting things in prospective always helps when the heart strings have felt a tug. Take a look at the tiny children freezing to death in the mountains of Pakistan, under tents that don't even stop the wind, let alone the rain. They have nothing to eat, no medicines, they have chest and eye infections and have lost most of their families in the Earthquake. Do you not think that we in the so called civilised world read far too much into stuff that pales into insignificance when compared to the real world out there.
Maybe Honour is about caring for another couples child, whose parents have been buried under a mud slide?
I am not trying to belittle your feelings about the importance of people behaving honourably together in a partnership, just trying to help you to focus on comparing one situation with another.
"The explanation requiring the fewest assumptions is most likely to be correct."
K.I.S. "Keep it simple!"
-
It is also my opinion that religious convictions are not an essential basis for a moral system that revolves around the "Golden Rule". Sure, such a moral system often is based on such convictions. But in my personal case, there are no religious convictions at work, and I manage to remain sexually faithful to my wife without any great difficulty.
I hold fast to the "only one person" theory. I can only be one person. Therefore to behave as if I were actually two persons would be doomed to eventual failure. Either my moral lapses would be discovered, or I would be the only one aware that I were living a lie. Either way, my life would be diminished. And it's the only life that I am sure I will ever have on this planet. Too valuable to screw up, in my view.
chris wiegard
-
Yes I do think it is honourable of people to care and adopt. Hardships of many sorts beset various peoples. Africans strive to have families amidst such poverty. And I respect that some people have non religious systems of marriage that work. So that honour is in it doing well.
But our problem close to home is that people are not producing enough of a next generation. Italians have one child per couple, living in cultured and rich society. It can become serious. And Marriages are the best place for a next generation to come from. Marriages need love. A sense of honour makes a difference. From my emailing, it seems men are afraid to commit to women that have been married before. Premarital sex is an issue effecting future marriages or the lack of them, just perhaps, and the next generation inso.
Very young ones are sexually active, sometimes pregnant teens. The mentality is to look for fun, but at the expense of invisible things and the future. With young ones, the past is short. In older people it matters more. I suppose people will adapt and marry in later years with common reputations for promiscuity. Some will wish it were not so.
Titanscape
-
Titanscape, I really feel that you are blaming the declining birthrate in certain nations on the wrong thing. I really do not think that it is a "love" issue. Are you under the impression that couples in Pakistan (where most marriages are arranged marriages) love each other more than the average British or Italian couple? Or for that matter are you under the impression that British couples in the year 1608 (when birth rates were much, much higher) loved each other more than couples do now? I would suggest that they probably loved each other less back then, but simply had no access to contraceptives. Most women died young, some in the act of bearing children they were too exhausted to bring into the world.
I am not really that worried about the declining birth rate. At least it is helping to insure that the total population of humans on our planet will stabilize around 9 billion in another fifty years.
chris wiegard
-
It's chaotic, like global warming isn't pleasant. It is not quality of life for Australian and US... citzens, for the population to be maintained by immigration and not child rearing. China and India often abort children if they are not males, again chaos, and because this means men out number women, good for less children in the future where there is overpopulation, but 100 men/one woman? Could make for a desperate nation of men thirty years on. And a crisis sixty years on.
The total population of humans in 80 years or more may be composed too much by immigrants.
Pakistani marriages are sometimes by honour extremists. You may have heard of them taking revenge on christian gilrs that refuse proposals to marry and convert to Islam. I do think westerners marry and bear children for love and sometimes it is an honour thing. Sometimes for money and ambition. Sometimes for children to look after them when they are old.
If a man breaks in in the middle of the night, a husband wiil fight for their wife, I see it as an honour issue, the honour of intimacy and child rearing is worth fighting for.
I doubt child rearing will stabilize, there will be extremes of popualtion growth and strong declines. Possibly wars, ultra hi tech skeleton staff verses hi tech masses, millions. China has a standing army of 2 million.
Our wealth is meant to mean comfort and ease in opportunities to marry but can mean somehow that people just want comfort and no responsibility and there is the excessive porn industry and prostitution and marriage break ups.
Titanscape