Naked Science Forum
General Discussion & Feedback => Just Chat! => Topic started by: hamdani yusuf on 05/08/2023 15:45:20
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For years, I've been plotting a long story following a main character growing up from childhood into adulthood. It has something similar to Harry Potter series. For Asian kids, perhaps Naruto is more familiar to them. Older kids may be more familiar with Dragon Ball or Kungfu Boy. They are extremely popular among children, and some adults too. There's something we can learn from them.
Unlike those examples, the genre of my story is science fiction, and the goal is to introduce and socialize /popularize critical thinking, science literacy, and basic ethics to children so they could be equipped with mental tools to face the world in front of them.
My plot also covered the main characters in adulthood, where their decisions have higher stake and affect many people's lives.
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My advice is have a good editor.
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My advice is have a good editor.
I don't know any professional editor personally. But since I have access to Google Bard, perhaps it can be my preliminary editor.
I've mentioned in another thread that Bard isn't a good drafter, yet. At least in its free or experimental version. So I guess I just have to type the draft myself, and only then ask Bard to edit it.
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I found these YouTube channels, and I think they have a lot of useful information on writing and publishing fictional story books.
https://youtube.com/@AbbieEmmons
https://youtube.com/@NovelistJerryJenkins
They advice to get to exciting and interesting parts of the story quickly at the beginning of the first chapter, so we can grab the attention of the reader and make them want to turn to the next page instead of putting our book down because they think that they are wasting their time. Modern people tend to have attention span shorter than those in the past.
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So I think my story will be a mix of thriller and suspense, to balance between the excitement, curiosity, and education. It will contain following components.
- Basic knowledge for survival. It's inspired by the story of airplane crash survivor kids who got lost in a rainforest, among some others. The motivation to write it down have been on my mind even earlier, when I heard about kids died untimely in various circumstances, which seemed to be avoidable.
- To hone the skill of critical thinking, the story will also contain mysterious cases like Sherlock Holmes.
- I also want to insert resourcefulness of the main character, which is inspired by MacGyver. I'll write some implementation of basic math and science by the main characters to solve their problems.
- Kids love superhero stories. So I think I'll give the main characters and some others the believable and reasonable superpowers.
- They will fight each other. So I'll put some basic martial arts skills there, including basic human anatomy and physiology, so they can practice martial arts skills safely.
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As the main characters grow up, they will experience problems in social, political, and economic fields. I'll also add some romantic relationships and deeper philosophy.
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A superpower by definition is neither reasonable nor believable!
they can practice martial arts skills safely.
The object of martial arts is to disable or kill your opponent. There's a difference between supervised training or limited competition, and do-it-yourself practice.
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What if those Kidz are eaten up by a pride of hungry Lions?
Maths don't work in the Jungles!
umm...what if those Ninja powered Adults eat a raw uncooked exotic animal n succumb to a Deadly Virus?
How bout right in the middle of the story book, Suddenly the next page appears fully covered with bold letters sayin...
B
O
O
M
!!!
& the rest of the pages are Blank?
(asteroid struck n planet gone)
ps - Kidz nowadayz are Overexposed to Fairytales & Underexposed to Reality!
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As the main characters grow up, they will experience problems in social, political, and economic fields. I'll also add some romantic relationships and deeper philosophy.
They will encounter politics and religion, and kill each other because some parasite has told them to do so.
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A superpower by definition is neither reasonable nor believable!
Modern professional athletes have some kind of superpowers compared to average humans, at least in their fields of competition. They can be seen from world records which keep getting broken.
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There's a difference between being bigger and better at something like running or throwing, and having a superpower like being able to fly or see through walls.
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A superpower by definition is neither reasonable nor believable!
Modern professional athletes have some kind of superpowers compared to average humans, at least in their fields of competition. They can be seen from world records which keep getting broken.
To say "they have superpowers" seems to rather misrepresent the fact that they typically work very hard.
If I ran a lot, I would get better at running.
But, no matter how hard I stare, I'm, not going to see through walls.
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Outline your saga, pick out the best story and publish that first, then release prequel and sequel stories, sell it to Disney and retire.
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There's a difference between being bigger and better at something like running or throwing, and having a superpower like being able to fly or see through walls.
What I meant was to amplify those above average abilities to extraordinary levels as far as permitted by natural laws, like conservation of momentum and thermodynamics. It might be done e.g. by enhancing drug, genetic modification, or artificial implantted organs. The genre is sci-fi after all.
Some superhuman abilities found naturally in other species like infrared vision, electric generation, and ultrasonic hearing also have crossed my mind.
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Outline your saga, pick out the best story and publish that first, then release prequel and sequel stories, sell it to Disney and retire.
Making money is not the main objective of this project.
the goal is to introduce and socialize /popularize critical thinking, science literacy, and basic ethics to children so they could be equipped with mental tools to face the world in front of them.
Getting viral can be said to be an instrumental goal.
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And get a good lawyer to draft your Disney contract.
In 1955 Peggy Lee recorded dialog and songs for "Lady and The Tramp" for a fee of "$5000 plus $1 per repeat", and the initial print run of the film was perhaps another couple of thousand - good money at the time. 30 years later it was released on VHS video:
After its release on videotape, she sought performance and song royalties on the video sales. Disney CEO Michael Eisner refused, thus she filed suit in 1988. Eventually in 1992, the California Court of Appeals order Disney to pay Lee $3.2 million in compensation or about 4% of the video sales.
Now write the book.
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they can practice martial arts skills safely.
The object of martial arts is to disable or kill your opponent. There's a difference between supervised training or limited competition, and do-it-yourself practice.
There were heartbreaking news about kids getting injuries and even died from playing smack down with their friends and siblings.
There will be some training sessions where a trainer gives advices to disable opponents without causing unnecessary damages, and explains the dangers in some forbidden techniques in competitive martial arts.
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What if those Kidz are eaten up by a pride of hungry Lions?
Maths don't work in the Jungles!
umm...what if those Ninja powered Adults eat a raw uncooked exotic animal n succumb to a Deadly Virus?
How bout right in the middle of the story book, Suddenly the next page appears fully covered with bold letters sayin...
B
O
O
M
!!!
& the rest of the pages are Blank?
(asteroid struck n planet gone)
ps - Kidz nowadayz are Overexposed to Fairytales & Underexposed to Reality!
Remember the goals of the story.
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a trainer ........ explains the dangers in some forbidden techniques in competitive martial arts.
Do you have any dealings with real children? The bottle is clearly marked "poison", and Junior Shipman knows exactly what not to do with it.
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Nah Hamdani, it will never sell. For the great unwashed today, I recommend hard core porn!
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a trainer ........ explains the dangers in some forbidden techniques in competitive martial arts.
Do you have any dealings with real children? The bottle is clearly marked "poison", and Junior Shipman knows exactly what not to do with it.
It depends on their age.
Perhaps they didn't know how to read, or what the word poison means. But it should not stop you from telling them not to drink poison.
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Nah Hamdani, it will never sell. For the great unwashed today, I recommend hard core porn!
Selling it is not a priority. I don't really mind if I have to publish it for free. With enough number of readers, I might still get something from advertising.
I don't think it's legal to publish porn involving children.
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But it should not stop you from telling them not to drink poison.
There's a significant difference between telling someone not to drink anything labelled poison because you will die, and telling them "don't punch or kick like this [demonstrates] because you will kill the other person".
I'm sure teachers and parents tell kids not to attack each other with knives, but they still do. The advantage of karate is that you can't be arrested for having bare hands.
So how about a book about a man who wrote a book whose heroes are children equipped by a master with credible, invisible but lethal skills, and published it for free on the internet. Now you have a moral question worth discussing!
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There's a significant difference between telling someone not to drink anything labelled poison because you will die, and telling them "don't punch or kick like this [demonstrates] because you will kill the other person".
I'm sure teachers and parents tell kids not to attack each other with knives, but they still do. The advantage of karate is that you can't be arrested for having bare hands.
What seems to be lacking is knowledge of the consequences, directly and indirectly, to the individuals involved as well as other people around them.
What's also usually lacking is the awareness of long term goals, and how their decisions affect the chance to achieve those goals.
Attacking people barehandedly can still be punished. On the other hand, self defense using guns is permitted.
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I've chosen the title of the series. It's Universal Utopia. The phrase was inspired by a game titled Final Fantasy. They both consist of an adjective and a noun. The words start with the same letter.
I've planned some episodes with their own theme songs. Some of the songs inspired the stories. But sometimes the story comes first, and I found the matching songs later on. I've written the plots of the series by their theme songs.
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What seems to be lacking is knowledge of the consequences, directly and indirectly, to the individuals involved as well as other people around them.
I'm pretty sure that anyone who stabs another several times with a knife has a good idea of what he intends to achieve.
On the other hand, self defense using guns is permitted.
Not under UK law.
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What I meant was to amplify those above average abilities to extraordinary levels as far as permitted by natural laws, like conservation of momentum and thermodynamics.
I'm rather fond of exploring ideas like that myself. I often find it hard not to think deeply about the nature and consequences of superpowers. When trying to come up with my own fictional world, I tried calculating an upper limit on they might be capable of achieving. My idea was that their bodies convert nitrogen in the air that they breathed into energy ala E=mc2 (since the body doesn't need the nitrogen we breathe anyway). I still have the resulting power written down in a notebook somewhere. It was a lot, obviously. Didn't have an obvious solution for how they would convert it all into useful work without cooking themselves, though.
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I'm pretty sure that anyone who stabs another several times with a knife has a good idea of what he intends to achieve.
Not sure if it applies to kids. It depends on the location of the stabbing.
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Kids like to read books with a lot of illustrations. Nowadays image generators from text are getting better quickly. I think I'll give it a try. There are many tutorials on how to use them to produce consistent characters.
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You seem to be moving towards a gory comic, or possibly an anatomy textbook.
In a flash, radioactive Marine Barbie decrypted the alien battle plan. "This calls for the active-shielded titanium evening dress" she thought "but my tattooist appointment will have to wait". Changing sex whilst running through the kitchen* he picked up a serrated carving knife and disembowelled the first zombie. "just for once" he said "let's forget the bloody president and concentrate on curing myopia, with a proportionate carbon offset and lashings of ginger beer."
I'll leave it to you to decide how he/she gets reunited with the dog.
*you'll need the kitchen run if it's ever going to be a movie
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Not under UK law.
Yes it is, as long as it's "reasonable".
An 80 year old in a wheelchair who shoots a twentysomething running at him with an axe is acting legally- as long as the firearm is licensed.
They might be wise to claim they were aiming for the legs.
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You seem to be moving towards a gory comic, or possibly an anatomy textbook.
In a flash, radioactive Marine Barbie decrypted the alien battle plan. "This calls for the active-shielded titanium evening dress" she thought "but my tattooist appointment will have to wait". Changing sex whilst running through the kitchen* he picked up a serrated carving knife and disembowelled the first zombie. "just for once" he said "let's forget the bloody president and concentrate on curing myopia, with a proportionate carbon offset and lashings of ginger beer."
I'll leave it to you to decide how he/she gets reunited with the dog.
*you'll need the kitchen run if it's ever going to be a movie
Whose hallucination is that? Is it you, or a free AI model?
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An 80 year old in a wheelchair who shoots a twentysomething running at him with an axe is acting legally- as long as the firearm is licensed.
They might be wise to claim they were aiming for the legs.
The farmer who shot a persistent and violent intruder in the middle of the night, ended up in prison. His shotgun was indeed licensed.
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Whose hallucination is that? Is it you, or a free AI model?
I'm just summarising all the trendy woke things that will appeal to modern youth. There is an alternative, based more accurately on observation:
John was staring at his phone. Then the world ended.
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The farmer who shot a persistent and violent intruder in the middle of the night, ended up in prison. His shotgun was indeed licensed.
The famous case is this one?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Martin_(farmer)
"However, prosecutors cast doubt on his evidence and pointed out that he did not have a valid firearms certificate."
"Martin shot three times towards the intruders (once when they were in the stairwell and twice more when they were trying to flee through the window of an adjacent ground floor room). Barras was hit in the back ".
That's not self defence, is it?
Was there some other case recently.?
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There is an alternative, based more accurately on observation:
John was staring at his phone. Then the world ended.
What kids can learn from this kind of story? How can it help them to make better decisions?
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They might learn that all sorts of really interesting stuff is going on whilst they are staring at their phones.
Lesson: ditch the phone and live while you can.
And not just kids. My mum and her neighbor were excited watching an eclipse. Just as the moon shadow entered the solar disc the neighbor said "I'm going indoors - this is bound to be on television".
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"Martin shot three times towards the intruders (once when they were in the stairwell and twice more when they were trying to flee through the window of an adjacent ground floor room). Barras was hit in the back ".
That's not self defence, is it?
Odd that a farmer didn't have a valid licence - it's as much part of the business as a driving licence. A few days out of date, perhaps?
Now if a farmer shoots and seriously wounds a dog that's worrying sheep (as he is entitled to do) the law requires him to finish the job. So why not humans attacking him?
You pay your taxes to maintain nuclear weapons that will only be used in retribution against other civilians, under the heading of "defence". Why are a few shotgun pellets in the arse of a known scumbag considered unreasonable?
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Odd that a farmer didn't have a valid licence
Not in the circumstances.
"Martin had his shotgun certificate revoked in 1994 after he found a man stealing apples in his orchard and shot a hole in the back of his vehicle".
So why not humans attacking him?
And, once again...
Martin shot three times towards the intruders ... when they were trying to flee
Shooting someone in the back when they are running away is not self defence.
At that stage what was he defending himself from?
Why are a few shotgun pellets in the arse of a known scumbag considered unreasonable?
If that was the issue, you would have a point (maybe not a very good one).
Mr Martin killed a man who was trying to escape.
You sound like you are trying to defend that action.
The facts remain;
You can legally use a gun in self defence in the UK.
But shooting someone as they are running away is not self defence (Unless you can convince the jury that it was "reasonable force"- good luck with that).
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So it's OK to kill an attacker with a shot to the front, but not to wound him in the arse. Time to replace the shotgun with a semiautomatic rifle, US-style. Though it's buggerall use against dogs, foxes, pigeons and rabbits, and can make a mess of an otherwise edible deer.
Not in the circumstances.
"Martin had his shotgun certificate revoked in 1994 after he found a man stealing apples in his orchard and shot a hole in the back of his vehicle".
So damaging an intruder's property is an offence, but killing him isn't. Be careful you don't make holes in his clothes next time - one shot to the head, please. Which definitely means a short rifle, not a shotgun. H&K do a nice police weapon with a laser.
Shooting someone in the back when they are running away is not self defence.
But incinerating noncombatants with nuclear weapons is. I learn something every day.
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So it's OK to kill an attacker with a shot to the front, but not to wound him in the arse.
Mr Martin was jailed for manslaughter BECAUSE HE KILLED SOMEONE.
He wasn't jailed for wounding someone in the arse.
Do you understand the difference?
He lost his license to own/ use a shotgun because he used the shotgun to do something illegal.
This isn't meant to be complicated.
Are you having a bad day or something?
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The law may recognise a difference, but a gun doesn't. The effect of a shotgun on a human is pretty much a matter of chance.
So it's OK to use a gun for self defence, as long as you don't actually kill anyone. How about waving a flag saying "please go away"? Or would that be considered discriminatory against illiterate attackers?
Whilst I deplore the persistent misuse of the Second Amendment, I think the underlying principle of much US law is sound: if you cross a clearly defined boundary without authority and with apparent intention to do harm, you forfeit all your rights. The absurd UK counterexample was the case of a factory owner who was prosecuted because a burglar fell through his defective roof and was seriously injured.
He lost his license to own/ use a shotgun because he used the shotgun to do something illegal.
So if he'd damaged the vehicle with a hammer, would he have been prevented from owning or using a hammer?
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So if he'd damaged the vehicle with a hammer, would he have been prevented from owning or using a hammer?
IMO, it depends on the main function of each tools, and how high the risk of harming someone unintentionally.
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So it's OK to use a gun for self defence, as long as you don't actually kill anyone.
Not necessarily.
Which part of
" as long as it's "reasonable".
are you struggling with?
The effect of a shotgun on a human is pretty much a matter of chance.
Not if you know how to use it- that's pretty much the point.
So if he'd damaged the vehicle with a hammer, would he have been prevented from owning or using a hammer?
After that action, he would not have a license to own a hammer.
But, you don't need one so... no.
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The absurd UK counterexample was the case of a factory owner who was prosecuted because a burglar fell through his defective roof and was seriously injured.
Can you provide some details please?
It looks like this but... not quite
"Family of burglar who fell through skylight in school break-in fail in their bid to SUE council and now face ?260,000 legal bill "
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3038306/Family-burglar-fell-skylight-fail-bid-sue-council.html
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The absurd UK counterexample was the case of a factory owner who was prosecuted because a burglar fell through his defective roof and was seriously injured.
Can you provide some details please?
It looks like this but... not quite
"Family of burglar who fell through skylight in school break-in fail in their bid to SUE council and now face ?260,000 legal bill "
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3038306/Family-burglar-fell-skylight-fail-bid-sue-council.html
It seems that hallucination is not an exclusively AI thing.
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What if those Kidz are eaten up by a pride of hungry Lions?
Maths don't work in the Jungles!
umm...what if those Ninja powered Adults eat a raw uncooked exotic animal n succumb to a Deadly Virus?
How bout right in the middle of the story book, Suddenly the next page appears fully covered with bold letters sayin...
B
O
O
M
!!!
& the rest of the pages are Blank?
(asteroid struck n planet gone)
ps - Kidz nowadayz are Overexposed to Fairytales & Underexposed to Reality!
Remember the goals of the story.
" Unlike those examples, the genre of my story is science fiction, and the goal is to introduce and socialize /popularize critical thinking, science literacy, and basic ethics to children so they could be equipped with mental tools to face the world in front of them. "
Carnivores, Viruses & Asteroids are Real!
No amount of kung foo judo karatez can dodge a Bullet!
In real life, superheroes Die!
ps - If you Can, Please try to, Keep it Real.
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" Unlike those examples, the genre of my story is science fiction, and the goal is to introduce and socialize /popularize critical thinking, science literacy, and basic ethics to children so they could be equipped with mental tools to face the world in front of them. "
Carnivores, Viruses & Asteroids are Real!
No amount of kung foo judo karatez can dodge a Bullet!
In real life, superheroes Die!
ps - If you Can, Please try to, Keep it Real.
Science fiction genre let's our imagination free within known natural laws, even before the things depicted there are realized. Video call wasn't a real thing when a science fiction movie depicted it for the first time. Genetically modified supersoldiers aren't a thing yet, afaik, but it's not entirely impossible.
Martial arts may help our heroes to win fights against their opponents. It may also help against some beasts.
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Martial arts may help our heroes to win fights against their opponents.
Never underestimate the enemy's capacity for reading the same books.
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Martial arts may help our heroes to win fights against their opponents.
Never underestimate the enemy's capacity for reading the same books.
The results still depend on practice and talent. Nutrition and health are also contributing factors.
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Never assume your enemy doesn't feed and drill his soldiers!
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Never assume your enemy doesn't feed and drill his soldiers!
That's exactly why the hero must train harder and smarter. Learning from experienced fighters can help identify which techniques work, and which don't. Also, which techniques is more appropriate for which situation, or more effective against other techniques.
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Or resort to military intelligence. Study your enemy, then either surprise him with a weapon or tactic that isn't in the book, or negotiate.
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Or resort to military intelligence. Study your enemy, then either surprise him with a weapon or tactic that isn't in the book, or negotiate.
Those will also be in the story.