If a door can be ajar, why can't a jar be a door?
With hindsight, I could have been a proctologist.
Scotched you say? She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
She was only an Admiral's daughter...
A big hole has developed on the M3. Police are looking into it!
...clergyman's daughter...you couldn't put anything pastor.
Better a drooling brother than a ruling other!
If your math teacher is Miss McClain, would her tests include some Miss McClaineous questions?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.clipartof.com%2Fsmall%2F4986-Pirate-With-Missing-Teeth-Hook-Hand-Holding-A-Knife-And-A-Wooden-Leg-Clipart.jpg&hash=65f85d5f14ca752f5ff746817b3fa441)
She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
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She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
Surely that's a matter of a pinion?
When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
charles de gaulle etoile at night, the parisians saw the dark de triumph
With those types of remarks in the last post, would someone please like to recommend a PUNishment for Greezer?
With those types of remarks in the last post, would someone please like to recommend a PUNishment for Greezer?
With those types of remarks in the last post, would someone please like to recommend a PUNishment for Greezer?
I looked through the Punning Thread Criminal Code and found no punalty where the punishment fits the crime. Lawnmowers and Batman rides are not punishable by Code. Thus decreed.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flyrics.smashits.com%2Fartwork%2Fa7%2Fa7114805eed19f5c3f5ec735bb1e202a.jpg&hash=34c6924893dd2110d0225988425be1fe)
One day Queen Elizabeth the First got so sick and tired of all the puns in Shakespeare's plays that she summoned him to her court. "Master Shakespeare," she angrily said, "one more pun out of you, I'll have you hanged!" He replied, "Your Majesty, does this mean you'll make me your poet lariat?"
I hope there would be no punitive damages.
Contacts are easy to lose, so keep your eyes on them
Drop the pretense.
Hey, I like stirrup on pancakes and waffles!
Hey, I like stirrup on pancakes and waffles!
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
buffaloes????
That's right! The RCMP now have female officers as well - forgot about that completely. But mounting buffaloes???? Well, if it is part of the GREAT SEAL OF THE RCMP who am I to cast dispersions on the way they ride?
Perhaps we could introduce your Aunt Anna to Buffalo Bill?
Oh, that's easy, as long as he gets to hold on to her cute little rabbit ears.
buffaloes????
Are you sure? Looks a bit sheepish to me.
Well you told me to join in and well..uh I can't help it if my mind was in the gutter after your post! :-)
Karen... [;D]
Karen... [;D]
Well you told me to join in and well..uh I can't help it if my mind was in the gutter after your post! :-)
[her mind's-in-the-gutter] after, during and WELL before his post.
I just LOVE to have my hot dog catered to ... but I find ketchup not sticky enough. Chocolate syrup takes much longer to lick off.
Tastes better too!
I just LOVE to have my hot dog catered to ...
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
I thought that only happened when the Chancellor of the Exchequer was a bit constipated.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
I thought that only happened when the Chancellor of the Exchequer was a bit constipated.
Is that what is meant about cash flow?
Yep, your in a pinch. Seemingly permanently.
Frankly, I see no udder way.
I remember Alimony - it is right next to Antimony on the periodic chart.
That's not right JB. See, the Alimony is that place in Texarse where David Bowie had his final concert.
Would Lisa's nieces call her Auntie Mony?
Middle leg there, not an arm and a leg. To be correct in most divorces the wife gets both arms, the legs and the house and car. The Ex hubby is left with the bills. Equal division.
Would Lisa's nieces call her Auntie Mony?
De-velope is what you do when you open the mail.
Would Lisa's nieces call her Auntie Mony?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mineralatlas.com%2Fmineral%2520photos%2FA%2Fantimony158a.jpg&hash=5a49fc4ec1fa5ad882d83410b5bbc56c) Antimony
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wirednewyork.com%2Fimages%2Fmony_carnegie_mews.jpg&hash=90d4a6e7cd86fbe63a24f6f1ca1293b9)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fscrapetv.com%2FNews%2FNews%2520Pages%2FBusiness%2Fimages-4%2Fmona-lisa.jpg&hash=15cc8105133f751a50df3174862f90de)
It took me a few days to finally see Geezer's brilliant play on words!
De-velope is what you do when you open the mail.
There was a Newspaper Headline story about JimBob's Award for his pun above, but I lost it.
Similar to the Award below.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funnytimes.com%2Fplayground%2Fimg%2F123148257940631.png&hash=731f6c7e79ac73f38a2217e337feb535)
De-velope is what you do when you open the mail.
There was a Newspaper Headline story about JimBob's Award for his pun above, but I lost it.
Similar to the Award below.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funnytimes.com%2Fplayground%2Fimg%2F123148257940631.png&hash=731f6c7e79ac73f38a2217e337feb535)
Would Lisa's nieces call her Auntie Mony?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mineralatlas.com%2Fmineral%2520photos%2FA%2Fantimony158a.jpg&hash=5a49fc4ec1fa5ad882d83410b5bbc56c) Antimony
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wirednewyork.com%2Fimages%2Fmony_carnegie_mews.jpg&hash=90d4a6e7cd86fbe63a24f6f1ca1293b9)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fscrapetv.com%2FNews%2FNews%2520Pages%2FBusiness%2Fimages-4%2Fmona-lisa.jpg&hash=15cc8105133f751a50df3174862f90de)
It took me a few days to finally see Geezer's brilliant play on words!
If it were brilliant it would be comprehensible to anyone without being in pictures. A pun is a play on words, not
pictures.
This is pure
Can someone please revive Geezer's image?
Is it near death? It just looks hermaphroditic to me.
Well it is a blonde..........
Too bad it was not a winning ticket for me, but it was a winner for the operator. :(
Only half of him is right, the other half is left.
Can someone please revive Geezer's image?
Is it near death? It just looks hermaphroditic to me.
Well it is a blonde..........
I can't see it. Can either of you?
http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=31700.msg314319#msg314319
Can someone please revive Geezer's image?
Is it near death? It just looks hermaphroditic to me.
Well it is a blonde..........
I can't see it. Can either of you?
http://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=31700.msg314319#msg314319
Yes - can't you?
Yes it is one of my customers in the dungeon room.
Geezer, shame! It's NOT a massage parlor.
No - it is full service.
Udderly delightful.
I remember Alimony - it is right next to Antimony on the periodic chart.
Ah, so must be covering my eyes then!
I hope it is properly carded, or you will be getting a red one then.
I remember Alimony - it is right next to Antimony on the periodic chart.
Are you sure? I thought it was the capital of New York State.
This thread is on its last legs, I can't stand it.
JB, you could go to the bank with that one.
This thread is on its last legs, I can't stand it.
Is that a run - on sentence?
No but his Auntie inflammatory is helping him to sleep at night.
This thread is on its last legs, I can't stand it.
Is that a run - on sentence?
Perhaps JimBob will put his best foot forward and add to this, keeping us on our toes?
This thread is on its last legs, I can't stand it.
Is that a run - on sentence?
Perhaps JimBob will put his best foot forward and add to this, keeping us on our toes?
You know, like he gets his foot in the door on great new deals.
The best thing is to see Geezer when he dresses up in his tights, tutu and toe shoes.
The best thing is to see Geezer...in his...toe shoes.
But at least Geezer put his foot down.
1.) the rarie's fits well with you two dinosaurs all are old and stale
2.) At least I didn't slack on the thread and got you old coots moving again.
It is why I have worked for myself these last 35 years. 12 years for someone else was all I could take.
The best thing is to see Geezer when he dresses up in his tights, tutu and toe shoes.
You've got a thing about tutus, don't you? Fess up now. We're all family here. There's no need to be embarrassed about it.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.supermotors.net%2Fgetfile%2F647377%2Foriginal%2Fvoyeurism.jpg&hash=77831fe856c6a65fbffbcab6259aba7e)
Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
I can't get the image of Jimbob in a Tutu out of my head.Geezer what have you done?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.supermotors.net%2Fgetfile%2F647377%2Foriginal%2Fvoyeurism.jpg&hash=77831fe856c6a65fbffbcab6259aba7e)
Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
Is this the same as Kelly's Blue Book?
Do you have stomach problems Demo? You keep posting this picture of holding your stomach. I am a bit worried. Please let us know. We are just one big family here.
The best thing is to see Geezer...in his...toe shoes.
Hmmm, something's afoot here.
You know the old saw of the blonde who was pregnant....... - She asked the doc "Is it mine?"
Is this the same as Kelly's Blue Book?
Yes. It covers auto-voyeurism.
I am NOT touching that remark - uh-uh!
I like it over rough terrain.
I never tire of the bald.
Don't you think people should retire before they go bald?
And as for MILf...
I never tire of the bald.
I know, I was shocked too. I can't remember who started calling me MIL(f) in the first place. Was it Beaver or was it you Jim?
I love a good leek!
I never tire of the bald.
Whew! Saved from JimBob! (Bowing before MiL)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.feebleminds-gifs.com%2Fchickenb.gif&hash=4c3b566540c799ba8ed66c6b7fc4d903)
Saved - I THINK NOT!
Your pate is a matter of debate - tire or tired - the latter I believe.
I never tire of the bald.
Whew! Saved from JimBob! (Bowing before MiL)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.feebleminds-gifs.com%2Fchickenb.gif&hash=4c3b566540c799ba8ed66c6b7fc4d903)
Saved - I THINK NOT!
Your pate is a matter of debate - tire or tired - the latter I believe.
Look again, JimBob. See how "full" is the red pate above?
Case closed.
WARNING, WARNING, WARNING!
Old guy on wheels! Watch out for the electric scooter!
To all unsuspecting females: Let's thank JimBob for being so considerate to issue advance warnings about himself!
Variola, thank you so much for coming forward in spite of his repeated threats, harrassment and heavy-breathing phone calls! Womankind is now so much safer!
Oxymoron alert! Woman!!!!Kind!!!! we never are!
My Mum knitted me a wool allergy once
Variola, thank you so much for coming forward in spite of his repeated threats, harrassment and heavy-breathing phone calls!WomankindFemality is now so much safer!
I've just put two coats of white paint on my door, I second that emulsion!
Demo, I'll be around with my blow torch.
All three of them have blow torches
Demo, I'll be around with my blow torch.
[:o] [:o] [:o]
All three of them have blow torches
Demo, I'll be around with my blow torch.
[:o] [:o] [:o]
Demo, I'll be around with my blow torch.
They would all blow their own torch if they could reach
All 20 are very flexible
They would all blow their own torch if they could reach
[:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o]
They would all blow their own torch if they could reach
I got a chance to ush 'er ette once and very nice it was too.
As you all well know, I'm not one to "toot my own flute", but I have to say my;
JimBob is very keen on wooly alegories. Consequently, he's sometimes quite overcome with emulsion.
They would all blow their own torch if they could reach
[:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o] [:o]
All 20 are very flexible
It was Generate Revulsion, in the ballroom with the pink oboe
As you all well know, I'm not one to "toot my own flute"
The best thing is to see Geezer when he dresses up in his tights, tutu and toe shoes.
You've got a thing about tutus, don't you? Fess up now. We're all family here. There's no need to be embarrassed about it.
Then why does Pox wish me to cruise to Iceland with her? She asked ME!
Adoring women just love dirty old men. Get with it demo. Bald is beautiful. Some women love it.
...... some of your shirts are very dubious!
...... some of your shirts are very dubious!
Wait till you see the tutu [;D]
you are not that bald.... more sparsely furnished!
you are not that bald.... more sparsely furnished!
Wait, I'm less sparsely furnished! Take me instead.
I've just put two coats of white paint on my door, I second that emulsion!
But first you must strip.
Demo, I'll be around with my blow torch.
And be sure to French Polish the knob very, very well. Other wise is is a failed ending.
And Pox, I am accompanied by a full suitcase full of petite fours.
you are not that bald.... more sparsely furnished!
Wait, I'm less sparsely furnished! Take me instead.
AH the truth will out!
you are not that bald.... more sparsely furnished!
Wait, I'm less sparsely furnished! Take me instead.
AH the truth will out!
Led by the lady with the blow -
TORCH
And Pox, I am accompanied by a full suitcase full of petite fours.
Grass doesn't grow on a busy street.
you are not that bald.... more sparsely furnished!
Wait, I'm less sparsely furnished! Take me instead.
AH the truth will out!
No! No! Less means more! Look up 'sparse' or you will get a C- !
Grass doesn't grow on a busy street.
Heeeelllllloooo!
Sorry, but JimBob seems to have dropped off again. I suspect the plus-fours are cutting off some circulation.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnefariouslabs.r30.net%2Fdirty-old-man.jpg&hash=f17a51a53c5ea878ef7d62e7bec4c203)
Congrats to JimBob for His 2010 Award!
sparse /sp'ɑːʳs/
synonyms:
* adjective: thin, rare, scarce, infrequent
I rest my case.
______________________________________________
you [addressing JimBob] are not that bald.... more sparsely furnished!
Wait, I'm less sparsely furnished! Take me instead.
Thank you, my dear Shazza. But then we need to hang a hat on the knob -
If you read the post carefully, HE is YOU lol.
you [addressing JimBob] are not that bald.... more sparsely furnished!
Wait, I'm less sparsely furnished! Take me instead.
However, JimBob, you are to be commended on your clever camouflaging segues, so...B- ! (I am soooooo generous)
Geezer disappeared! [:o]
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kidsfunfile.com%2FLaughing_Hysterically.gif&hash=be79edd77c9b72eba299ecb83848d953)
(ps - would someone kindly convey to JimBob that there's nuttin' wrong with my stomach!)
But...but....<sputter>...Variola! I just got these on sale at Toys 'R' Us!...........
But...but....<sputter>...Variola! I just got these on sale at Toys 'R' Us!...........
That is still no excuse for wearing shoes like that... [:P]
[:P]
I stand firm by these shoes.
Oh so cute. I've lost my big Tom, Mossy. I'm sure he'll turn up. He is not struck on the kitten.
We need to stay on our toes
[:P]
Nice tongue [:)]
We need to stay on our toes
Sean, you're always a step ahead of me.
[:P]
Nice tongue [:)]
Yeah pity such blue language rolls off it...!
Actually, what my tongue does best is wrap it self around the little man in the boat for hours and hours at a time.
We need to stay on our toes
Sean, you're always a step ahead of me.
Well put your best foot forward, but change the shoes first.
Ooo, there goes my stomach again...
We need to stay on our toes
Sean, you're always a step ahead of me.
Well put your best foot forward, but change the shoes first.
Kick up your heels all you want, I'm not giving in to that fancy footwork of yours!
Too bad you're not just a hop, skip, and a jump away.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.funnyforumpics.com%2Fforums%2Fthis-thread-sucks%2F10%2FThread-Crap-No_Hope.jpg&hash=c42a1aae6a4ec07f8d953422a11d13eb)
[:)] [:)]
I like that picture.... it's so gneiss... [:D]
With my dyslexia I thought that read Guiness
With my dyslexia...
It does. I have a Marina coil so I'm safe whilst sailing.
When I was told I had dyslexia, my Dad drove me to the Welsh boarders and pointed at all the signs and said "See, you are not the only one."
When I was told I had dyslexia, my Dad drove me to the Welsh boarders and pointed at all the signs and said "See, you are not the only one."
...choked on my coffee.....the cookie monster quip....
...choked on my coffee.....the cookie monster quip....
Cookie monster quip? I missed that one...
Cobbler, something to do with shoes I think?
Yo, what's on the menu today?
Yo, what's on the menu today?
Cobbler, something to do with shoes I think?
At last! A good example of foot-in-mouth!
...WELCOME BACKS...
...WELCOME BACKS...
Like this?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.musicranch.ch%2FBilder%2Fpink-floyd-backs-5000178.jpg&hash=8cc08dab1f7e52d3772d1b691ac7589e)
I hoof no answer to that one!
...WELCOME BACKS...
Like this?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.musicranch.ch%2FBilder%2Fpink-floyd-backs-5000178.jpg&hash=8cc08dab1f7e52d3772d1b691ac7589e)
Yes, quite so !!! Only closeups and ... er, a spot of tea??
...WELCOME BACKS...
Like this?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.musicranch.ch%2FBilder%2Fpink-floyd-backs-5000178.jpg&hash=8cc08dab1f7e52d3772d1b691ac7589e)
Yes, quite so !!! Only closeups and ... er, a spot of tea??
"Spot of tea"???? JB, stop pretending culture/civilization, you're in Texas, not Great Britain!!!!!!
WAIT! Exoneration? I am typing this from my kitchen closet:
English Classic Tea (with a piccy of Big Ben on da box!)
Chai Tea
Harrisons & Crosfield
Classic English Tea Merchants
Classic Earl Grey Tea
Imported from England
Plus a dozen or so assorted herbal tea concoctions.
Nyah, nyah!
I do miss Springers.
In order to be totally cleared of the embarrassment, one must not use tea bags. They are so "lower class." But on occasion we all sacrifice tradition for convenience.
But alas, the Americanization of teas purchased from Harrisons & Crosfield is complete. Their website is described their teas thus: "Harrisons & Crosfield teas are unique as they are blended in England to renowned British tea industry quality levels & American tastes ..."
And this "Twinings English Classic Cold Brewed" just does not sound British. No way, no how.
OH! The ignomy of it all, the shame!
(ignomy - Shakespearean spelling - not the new-fangled cra*py way the pundits have abused it)
Exoneration? - NAY! I say, NAY!
Excriment-aion - most likely. (That is the pun in this post)
Silly fellow.
Unless you happen to have a hyperbaric chamber, you can't make proper tea in Austin. You can't get the water hot enough at that elevation.
Silly fellow.
Unless you happen to have a hyperbaric chamber, you can't make proper tea in Austin. You can't get the water hot enough at that elevation.
Thanks, Geezer, I was having trouble beating up on him all by myself.
Besides, couldn't JB just go here?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flh5.ggpht.com%2FEvsMfsF49wWX89mIn2-x-wTPwjfpJZ4FvxOowJtjxZdte3ii2iOkG_wWAoWxk8W-UIgYR4ipCyHx_prBImYoIMNVV95LNIjOJl-UWnPsAgiAitJX-DaZd12Uc7G0Apxo5yALUulLbTl0&hash=602d16233a948d2394626f82466c955c)
Elevation Burger
9828 Great Hills Trail, Austin, Texarse 78759-6391
(512) 608-4054
Silly fellow.
Unless you happen to have a hyperbaric chamber, you can't make proper tea in Austin. You can't get the water hot enough at that elevation.
Thanks, Geezer, I was having trouble beating up on him all by myself.
Besides, couldn't JB just go here?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Flh5.ggpht.com%2FEvsMfsF49wWX89mIn2-x-wTPwjfpJZ4FvxOowJtjxZdte3ii2iOkG_wWAoWxk8W-UIgYR4ipCyHx_prBImYoIMNVV95LNIjOJl-UWnPsAgiAitJX-DaZd12Uc7G0Apxo5yALUulLbTl0&hash=602d16233a948d2394626f82466c955c)
Elevation Burger
9828 Great Hills Trail, Austin, Texarse 78759-6391
(512) 608-4054 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting (512) 608-4054 end_of_the_skype_highlighting
No. He'd need to go spelunking instead.
Yes! I do see the Cave Man thinking style!
Don't Mess With Texas!!
As for whether I can boil a decent cup of tea, well pardon me, sir, BUT I believe you are the one who cannot get the water hot enough, miserable Scottish outcast. At your home, the altitude is 680 meters or 2231 feet. I live at 265 meters (869 feet) Thus to make a proper cup of tea I need heat my water to the astounding temperature of 210.460 F, (99.145 C) whereas you, the skirt wearing crotchety old man in the Selkirk's, must only heat your pot to the ridiculously low temperature 208.015 F (97.786 C)
(who says we are not scientists here???)
It is the most unpleasant tea to which I have ever subjected myself. It is what I imagine it would be like taste the fresh cut wool from the loins of an un-neutered sire ram.
Quote(who says we are not scientists here???)
Me..... you are a rock-hugger, that isn't science, in your case it is more like paraphilia [:P]
Petraphilia is legal in Texas. Or did you mean paraphernalia?? [:0]
I am in Scotland this week and boy, can they make a cup of tea. They use actual leaves and not scummy tea bags. The most important thing about Tea making is the water and in the North of this wonderful isle it is the best. I climbed Ben Nevis this week and Tea tastes so much better when you've earnt it. So JimBob you need to climb a few mountains in order to appreciate real Tea.
whereas you, the skirt wearing crotchety old man in the Selkirk's, must only heat your pot to the ridiculously low temperature 208.015 F (97.786 C)
whereas you, the skirt wearing crotchety old man in the Selkirk's, must only heat your pot to the ridiculously low temperature 208.015 F (97.786 C)
Well, a real geeholergist would know that I live in "the gem state" (unlike "the bull-puckey state" aka Texarse) and that there are a lot of mines here, so I always descend to 50 feet above sea level at tea time.
whereas you, the skirt wearing crotchety old man in the Selkirk's, must only heat your pot to the ridiculously low temperature 208.015 F (97.786 C)
Well, a real geeholergist would know that I live in "the gem state" (unlike "the bull-puckey state" aka Texarse) and that there are a lot of mines here, so I always descend to 50 feet above sea level at tea time.
whereas you, the skirt wearing crotchety old man in the Selkirk's, must only heat your pot to the ridiculously low temperature 208.015 F (97.786 C)
Well, a real geeholergist would know that I live in "the gem state" (unlike "the bull-puckey state" aka Texarse) and that there are a lot of mines here, so I always descend to 50 feet above sea level at tea time.
The Lone Star State, for your information.
And how can Scottish Breakfast tea be even compared to any other real black tea??
Petrophilia gets your rocks off!
Petrophilia gets your rocks off!
Are you busting my stones?
Ah yes. Willie Nelson is the lone star of Texarse.
[Reporting from Scotland!]
I have a large blister
...solutions of dried and mixed plant leaves that have steeped...
I can guarantee you all that the water is more important than anything else, and living in a city with good quality water is very important, as this influences the taste of the brew considerably.
Demo has too much time on his hands! Doesn't he have a job or a hobby? What about getting him a pet fish? Can he be trusted with the care of a dog? Bloody hell, what is wrong with this agitator??????
It is time for us to seek a home for this elderly, misanthropic troublemaker.
Pun on, my good fellows
Fella- from the word fellatio [:P] [;D]
[:I] [:I] [:I] awww. You are so much nicer to me than that Jimbob...
Fella- from the word fellatio [:P] [;D]
To My Wonderful Variola Lady/Woman/Female/NonFellow: You took the words right out of my, er, mouth...and you beat me to it!
Lets begin with the phrase "The clothes are on the Rack"
All freezers are male! Do you know how I know?
"Freezer jolly good fellow, freezer jolly good fellow"
Punning thread fixed and back on track!
...Fellowship.....
...I hope to avoid the rack though, I feel I have been stretched out enough for the day.
I'd attach the ropes somewhere else as I like to stretch a point!
...Fellowship.....
...I hope to avoid the rack though, I feel I have been stretched out enough for the day.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.offthemarkcartoons.com%2Fcartoons%2F1993-04-22.gif&hash=1327769bbe6861cebcd9252ca2eead62)
Punning thread fixed and back ontrackrack!
Punning thread fixed and back ontrackrack!
But a pinions are like arse holes - everyone has one.
And everyone thinks everyone else's stinks.
Some people have several.
Quote from: JimBob on 09/06/2010 01:00:15
But a pinions are like arse holes - everyone has one.
Quote from: demografx on 09/06/2010 01:09:09
And everyone thinks everyone else's stinks.
Quote from: Geezer on 09/06/2010 01:13:30
Some people have several.
Geezer was right!
http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s1i80717
That is mathematically impossible except in theoretical numbers.
QuoteThat is mathematically impossible except in theoretical numbers.
FFS! Stop ogling rocks all day and get out more....!
10 [psychiatrists]- 1 to change it [the lightbulb] and 9 to write a paper entitled "Coping with darkness" [;D]
It sounds as if 'add' is less.
That is mathematically impossible except in theoretical numbers.
So what does it take to refocus on puns?
QuoteSo what does it take to refocus on puns?
Twiddling the knob usually sets the focus ok for me... [;)]
QuoteSo what does it take to refocus on puns?
Twiddling the knob usually sets the focus ok for me... [;)]
QuoteSo what does it take to refocus on puns?
Twiddling the knob usually sets the focus ok for me... [;)]
Isn't that a bit like what the Irish girl said to her sisters when the photographer kept asking them to get closer to the camera? OK - I remember now. What she said was,
"He's trying to focus."
A pox in the hand is worth 2 in the bush.
A pox in the hand is worth 2 in the bush.
[:o] [:o] [:o]
But Var, then you gave up the bird!
No. Since they are from Texas, she must be referring to JimBob's! [:o]
A pox in the hand is worth 2 in the bush.
[:o] [:o] [:o]
But Var, then you gave up the bird!
See? Even (First) Lady Bird Johnson was from Texas! This PROVES that all fingers point to JimBob Bush.
Highly inaccurate. No stretch marks whatsoever.
My rack is
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages5.cpcache.com%2Fproduct%2F252587425v4_480x480_Front_Color-Black.jpg&hash=a2299f5ddecca4e55a43d8aa1d6cc1fd)
( I actually have a T-shirt very similar to that) [:)]
Could Geezer have made off with it for posting to a secret Scottish forum??? [:o] [:o] [:o]
Apparently the street use Remtard as it is a combination of retard and remedial. I guess trying to make you politically correct would be a backward move!!!
Highly inaccurate. No stretch marks whatsoever.
See? a wrinkle-less brain.
And Var, we need to be charitable to the retard.
OOOHH, I am sooo politically incorrect.
And I certainly have no bush or rack.
Unless the 12-point one on the dead deer on the wall counts.
Sheepy has a good rack. Rack of lamb gaaaaaa! droool!
I'm trying to reduce my waistline by dieting but sadly it is going from my boobs first!
I'm trying to reduce my waistline by dieting but sadly it is going from my boobs first!
I will help you hold them up. JimBob's Hand Bra Service available at nominal costs. Write for details.
I'm trying to reduce my waistline by dieting but sadly it is going from my boobs first!
My Mrs said she would help me loose weight. So far I’ve put on 7lbs and she’s lost 12lbs. A net loss of 5lbs, I thought that was a good result, she does not share my opinion and has made an appointment for me with a French surgeon. Apparently from a long line of practioners in her family, she will help me loose 10lbs of ugly fat in one session.
Sounds like a real ‘chip off the old block’ this Madame Le Guillotine.
I'm trying to reduce my waistline by dieting but sadly it is going from my boobs first!
I will help you hold them up. JimBob's Hand Bra Service available at nominal costs. Write for details.
I'm trying to reduce my waistline by dieting but sadly it is going from my boobs first!
I wish it would go from mine!!!!!
Be warned. JimBob's service requires that he weighs them first.
Wwaaahhhhhaaaaaayyyy!
If she turns round does she get a bit behind with the orders?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cartoonstock.com%2Flowres%2Fvsh0119l.jpg&hash=6827330b8b23331b22f8e564473b2101)
Be warned. JimBob's service requires that he weighs them first.
Wwaaahhhhhaaaaaayyyy!
This brings up a serious question regarding measurement accuracy!
Well, as Yogi Berra says,
"There's nothing wrong with a bit of incest, as long as you keep it in the family."
To which the gamekeeper said,
"What does that route mean Squire Ed?"
That's funny, Geezer, sometimes you flora me! [;D]
Oh! Very fauny.
There is education in the USA???????
There is education in the USA???????
Yes, of course, Sean. For example, we wear glasses while learning math because it improves divison.
There is education in the USA???????
Yes, of course, Sean. For example, we wear glasses while learning math because it improves division (mod edit - corrected sp).
..but, evidently, not dispelling. [;D]
I find mult liquor is a factor in my mathematical product-ivity.
After a mult everything is more pliable !
There is education in the USA???????
Yes, of course, Sean. For example, we wear glasses while learning math because it improves division (mod edit - corrected sp).
..but, evidently, not dispelling. [;D]
Witch?
There is education in the USA???????
Yes, of course, Sean. For example, we wear glasses while learning math because it improves divison.
..but, evidently, not dispelling. [;D]
There is education in the USA???????
Yes, of course, Sean. For example, we wear glasses while learning math because it improves division (mod edit - corrected sp).
..but, evidently, not dispelling. [;D]
Witch?
Actually, I'm more of a whizzard.
The tee shirts were OK, but obviously the 'Ladies' were a ruff load of old dogs!
That Geezer must be barking!
Can ine give Sir a little pleasure?
[ Invalid Attachment ]
I'm still waiting for Don to explain, though I say it myself, my quite brilliant allusion to barking.
I'm still waiting for Don to explain, though I say it myself, my quite brilliant allusion to barking.
mod edit:
That's ataletail I'd rather forget.
Stumped, Geezer...
Hey! I just watched that new movie Abattoir. It's in 3-D too!
Hey! I just watched that new movie Abattoir. It's in 3-D too!
Geezer, what I meant was that I was stumped by your punning meaning directly above - ("Abattoir and 3-D").
That was a clue?
You need to be a detective to work out that clue so
?
?
Oh! Don't go looking for the pun. I don't think there is one.
?
I have seen the light.
Quote from: Thomas Edison
I have seen the light.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.yogamax.net%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2008%2F12%2Fswami-ramdev.jpg&hash=01ca4dca1797ef44ceccf205f6f44618)(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcolinwetherbee.com%2Fimages%2Fhot-dog-vendor.jpg&hash=01f244940f1cebdaccdb884d91dbea42)
The Swami goes up to the hot dog vendor and says:
"Make me one with everything".
Make it Lady, I'm still waiting for you to finish my paint job. All talk. [;D]
Make it Lady, I'm still waiting for you to finish my paint job. All talk. [;D]
I thought she was polishing (door)knobs for you.
It's like text speak but came before texts were invented. apparently love letters in the 19th century used this type of notation. demo just read the letters really quickly and they sound like words.
we have no bananas today.
It's like text speak but came before texts were invented. apparently love letters in the 19th century used this type of notation. demo just read the letters really quickly and they sound like words.
Well oil be damned!
Well oil be damned!
Isn't that what Tony Hayward (http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/tony-hayward) said?
oi flower stop casting nasturtiums on my character.
One phalisy here is Make it Lady's blow torch. Hard to fathom.
I knew it was just be a matter of time until we bring again two lips from hamster jam.
Here is a reverse pun that is related in a certain way to the prior post. What's the connection, and what was the original line?I think this is the pun ch line to a joke.
"We're sliding a gong on the breast of a slave."
Ha!! You just gave away your AGE, JimBob!
Ha!! You just gave away your AGE, JimBob!
And since you got the reference, SO DID YOU! [;D]
Teddie bares - Love them!
I think I am going to have a Jersey (a cow) if this goes on and on.
I think I am going to have a Jersey (a cow) if this goes on and on.
Man walks in to wine store and ask's
"Can you recommend a good port?"
Sales assistant says
"Yes, Southampton".
A man is walking along the road with a banana stuck in his ear. Another gent approaches him and asks,
"Hey, do you know you've got a banana in your ear?"
to which the man replies
"I can't hear you. I've got a banana in my ear."
-------------------------------------------------------------
A man is walking along the road with a lemon stuck in his ear. Another gent approaches him and asks,
"Hey, do you know you've got a lemon in your ear?"
to which the man replies
"You've heard of a hearing aid? This is a lemon aid."
(There are similar tales concerning Algie and Bessie)
(There are similar tales concerning Algie and Bessie)
Let's hear 'em!
Wasn't your train of thought a bit sticky?
Wasn't your train of thought a bit sticky?
Depends on what substance has cause Demo to become sticky. Is it Jam? Is it ham? Is it Lemon Curd or is it a brown ****?
I could go on but it would just get more nasty. I'll quit here.
A man was walking along the road with a tooth stuck in his ear, no, really....
"In an unusual case, a 47-year old former miner in Britain was finally able get rid of his earache after doctors removed a tooth that had got stuck in his ear"
http://medindia.net/news/Doctors-Remove-Tooth-from-Ear-75535-1.htm
A man was walking along the road with a tooth stuck in his ear, no, really....
"In an unusual case, a 47-year old former miner in Britain was finally able get rid of his earache after doctors removed a tooth that had got stuck in his ear"
http://medindia.net/news/Doctors-Remove-Tooth-from-Ear-75535-1.htm
Wonder if the tooth fairy will pay interest on the payment, as after all the tooth has been in "storage" for over 40 years.......
A man was walking along the road with a kipper stuck in his ear.
This other guy comes up to him and says,
"Do you know you've got a kipper in your ear?"
To which the man replies,
"I'm sorry, but you'll have to speak up. I'm a bit hard of herring."
Two old geezers in adjacent beds in a hospital in Brighton, UK.
Geezer1: "Did you come 'ere to die?"
Geezer2: "No mate. I come 'ere yesterdie."
Mil, I think that's cobblers.
Next thing you'll be trying to tell us that Cholmondeley is pronounced Chumly.
Some bloke takes his kids to the zoo. When they get inside there's just one cage with a small scruffy dog sitting inside it. He storms to the office to complain.
"You call this a zoo?! It's just one dog sitting in a cage!" he rants.
The ticket seller calmly replies:
"I know, Sir. It's a shitzu"
'Doc, I can't stop singing the Green Green Grass Of Home.
'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'.
'Is it common?'
'It's not unusual.'
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fea7bcee7.jpg&hash=ea825a5988a1dcd21c3a890483ac7449)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcache.gawker.com%2Fassets%2Fimages%2Fdefamer%2F2009%2F01%2Ffashion_MadMen102B_0411.jpg&hash=82fa69cbc5124d80e2bd3d2d178bed3d)
There was a young lady on a bender,
Who sat down to play on her Fender.
The strings turned to keys,
Of ebony and ivories.
And when she stood up,
She'd changed her bloody gender.
...
The strings turned to keys,
Of ebony and ivories...
I might have guessed you'd pick up on that.
I might have guessed you'd pick up on that.
Perhaps you can amplify on that statement?
I might have guessed you'd pick up on that.
Perhaps you can amplify on that statement?
I would, but it's not terribly polite to give unsolicited feedback.
I might have guessed you'd pick up on that.
Perhaps you can amplify on that statement?
I would, but it's not terribly polite to give unsolicited feedback.
I echo your sentiments.
I don't think I can take much more of this punishment.
Just like an old boxer, it can make you punchy.
I'm embarrassed, but feel obliged to admit: I accidentally deleted this whole thread today. [:(]
But Geezer came along to save the day and restored it.
Thanks, Geezer!
I'm embarrassed, but feel obliged to admit: I accidentally deleted this whole thread today. [:(]
But Geezer came along to save the day and restored it.
Thanks, Geezer!
Phuuuuuuweeee, well done Geezer, did you give it an injection to save it from disappearing down the Black Hole of Calcutta?
Could be said to be a Punjab
I'm embarrassed, but feel obliged to admit: I accidentally deleted this whole thread today. [:(]
But Geezer came along to save the day and restored it.
Thanks, Geezer!
I'm embarrassed, but feel obliged to admit: I accidentally deleted this whole thread today. [:(]
But Geezer came along to save the day and restored it.
Thanks, Geezer!
Don't you guys realize that every time you re-quote me it becomes more and more an embarrassment of kitsches?
The Queen lay in her bed one night and turned on her side. She pulled the duvet right up so that only her head could be seen and said, "Look Philip, I'm a stamp."
In The Naked Scientists' forum
I tried to be punny for 'em
But limericks reign
In my little brain
So can we make a limmerick quorum?
This electric banter gets my juices flowing.
This electric banter gets my juices flowing.
WATT???
1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.
3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest ?
They Take The Psychopath
I...found wattworks.com...
A gal from Devizes
edit -
There was an old girl of Devizes,
Whose forte was in little surprises;
She let you come near,
Then cried: 'Bless us, my dear,
Your eyes are of different sizes.
A policeman from Clapham Junction
edit -
Censored by the Punjab Governor
A bishop from Birmingham
edit -
Censored by the Punjab Governor
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
A gal from Devizes
edit -
There was an old girl of Devizes,
Whose forte was in little surprises;
She let you come near,
Then cried: 'Bless us, my dear,
Your eyes are of different sizes.
A policeman from Clapham Junction
edit -
Censored by the Punjab Governor
A bishop from Birmingham
edit -
Censored by the Punjab Governor
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
Coffee has bean the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.
Well it is a stirring subject.
I am only able to advise that the organ of the policeman in question had long ceased to function.
18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
Sanka.
Coffee has bean the grounds of many a heated and strong discussion.
Well it is a stirring subject.
Because of the spooning?
At least try to lighten up.
(I wonder if that's what they said to Guy Fawkes?)
"It's a cat's ass...."
I asked Demo to take a seat after I had sat Ern down.
"where shall I sit?" Demo asked, I replied, "On uranus".
Phew! I had to get the cobwebs off those two!
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
I'm not train ed to handle such pun ishment
I hope this does not drive you underground.
But at least they will work for peanuts.
CA shoes
Sometimes when you're monkeying around on an elephant you get hounded.
What are CA shoes?
You really should briard, put your foot down and say 'NO'.
Setter up with a little kitten instead, she'll soon be feline OK and you'll retiever respect for you. You must pointer in the right direction.
Will she take it out for a walk and clean up after it? As soon as you take it out for walkies it will cock its leg up some lamp post, or some poor unsuspecting chap, frozen to the bone, waiting for a bus. And once it has wee'd you can guarantee it will shih tzun.
What are CA shoes?
Has anyone seen the video "Suryia and Hound"? I find it one of those events that touches my soul.
http://video.aol.com/video-detail/the-orangutan-and-the-hound/1234581161/?icid=VIDLRVNAT07 (http://video.aol.com/video-detail/the-orangutan-and-the-hound/1234581161/?icid=VIDLRVNAT07)
Demo, I didn't think you would stoop so low, me old pal.
...laced up to the eyes...
I hear that emeralds can be quite painful.
Did I ever mention that, with hindsight, I could have been a proctologist?
With hindsight, I could have been a proctologist.
And with foresight??
My vote, so far, goes to Geezer for his Proctology Pun. He certainly doesn't make an ass of himself!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.localmouth.com%2Fblog%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2008%2F10%2Fistock_000003721276xsmall.jpg&hash=34bb948422582bf8cd177f435ba8cb61)
Well, its no skin off my nose.
Well, its no skin off my nose.
The rabbi nose you need an anatomy lesson!
Well, its no skin off my nose.
The rabbi nose you need an anatomy lesson!
Well, under the circumstises.....
Beast I cud drool at snort notice.
He was not Hobgoblin down his brekkie, he was hobbled for elf violations - he took his boots and would you Rudolpf it put them in front of the fire before Santa Klaus could say Ho Ho NO!
That's fairy interesting, Sean.
Scottish Embassy! [;D]
Let's all thank Geezer for his oh-so-generous gesture of paying for _all_ our travel, hotel and ANY miscellaneous expenses (e.g., lavish presents for the special someones) to Tahiti this December, 2010 for The Annual Punning Thread Conference! (He said invite friends and family, too, including mistresses/lovers...even kids' friends and their parents!! It's all on him!! Unlimited, really!)
Hurrah, Geezer!!
........ on a flying carpet.............
Scottish Embassy! [;D]
You'll not get any Ferraro Rocher (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4P-nZZkQqTc) off that ambassador!
Scottish Embassy! [;D]
You'll not get any Ferraro Rocher (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4P-nZZkQqTc) off that ambassador!
Speaking of transport to Tahiti, I hear that you no longer will get transported to Australia if you are a criminal in the UK, at least if you are Julian Assange!
All became rather embarrassing really, that's why he had to locked in the cellar.
Scottish Embassy! [;D]
You'll not get any Ferraro Rocher (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4P-nZZkQqTc) off that ambassador!Scottish Embassy! [;D]
You'll not get any Ferraro Rocher (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4P-nZZkQqTc) off that ambassador!
Right pal! Square go ootside! I'll teach you to call me a cheap 'bassadord.
......an author who writes from his basement and has a best cellar.
Is there an echo around here?
there an echo around here?
an echo around here?
echo around here?
around here?
here?
Available from Waterstones, WH Smith, Amazon and author good book cellers.
Now, locked in the cellar, was he there because he celled out, or was it because he had a poor cell reception?
... I was trying to keep it as a surprise.
Shouldn't that read 'Planck Place'?
There's another Pack Place in Bastin, Massachusetts. They tried to call it Park Place, but they eventually had to give up.
I may be as thick as two short planks, but I have not got those tickets yet, have checked downstairs a few times, nutting new down there, just the same old stuff as before. Though, having looked at the website, I am a little wary of the rooms there, the beds look a little hard and lumpy, and there were no sheets visible.
And I still can't get money from Mc and V - something about not sending via Western Union to Africa, as it is a scam! How else am I supposed to help that poor relative who has so much money tied up in an account, but who cannot get it out without help, and is willing to give me a 40% share for assistance in doing so.
Getting very good nw, I think the writer is now in high school, or at least is not watching American television exclusively.
Key West key.
... I was trying to keep it as a surprise.
If it has an elevated Michelin stared restaurant, it will still be a nice soup rise.
What's the symbol for blind carbon? There can be no C.
[Bernie Madoff was never this devious!!
At least they might be open for fleecing in around 21 days.........
At least they might be open for fleecing in around 21 days.........
Are ewe serious?
At least they might be open for fleecing in around 21 days.........
Are ewe serious?
Not if he's ever been in Newe Joisey in January.
Bernie Madoff was never this devious!!
Perhaps not, be he sure made off with a lot of people's money.
Wasn't there a tribe of very small people somewhere that called themselves the Flockawie?
Wasn't there a tribe of very small people somewhere that called themselves the Flockawie?
I get the strangest feeling that's not true, infact, I think its contribed.
Wasn't there a tribe of very small people somewhere that called themselves the Flockawie?
I get the strangest feeling that's not true, infact, I think its contribed.
Wasn't there a tribe of very small people somewhere that called themselves the Flockawie?
I get the strangest feeling that's not true, infact, I think its contribed.
Oh, it's true alright. They were so diminutive that they could easily get lost on your lawn if you hadn't cut the grass for a couple of weeks.
Wasn't there a tribe of very small people somewhere that called themselves the Flockawie?
I get the strangest feeling that's not true, infact, I think its contribed.
Oh, it's true alright. They were so diminutive that they could easily get lost on your lawn if you hadn't cut the grass for a couple of weeks.
Wouldn't they all get eaten alive by those dandy lions???
Geezer must have been spending "too much time" with the shepard, don't ewe think?
long horns.a cue for another round of bovine puns?
long horns.How much ram does your computer have?
I think he's just trying to pull the wool over our eyes.
I think he is spinning another yarn myself.
How much ram does your computer have?
Oh no, is thislong horns.
a cue for another round of bovine puns?
We'll have the TNS Pun Squad after us with their water cannons, then they'll angus out to dry.
I asked Father Xmas for some new garden tools, but he just laughed, "Hoe hoe hoe."
OK which one?
1. Heifer definition, a young cow over one year old that has not produced a calf.
2. In the slang, when someone uses the word "heifer", they are usually referring to an overweight woman.
Geezer must have been spending "too much time" with the shepard, don't ewe think?
Now that's some shear determination...
Please continewe...
I asked Father Xmas for some new garden tools, but he just laughed, "Hoe hoe hoe."
Don, as a gardener you should know the ground rules by now.
Geezer must have been spending "too much time" with the shepard, don't ewe think?
After the shepherd retired, he felt ewes less.
I asked Father Xmas for some new garden tools, but he just laughed, "Hoe hoe hoe."
Don, as a gardener you should know the ground rules by now.
Sorry to rake up this post again, but I think it proves that demo speaks with forked tongue.
Geezer must have been spending "too much time" with the shepard, don't ewe think?
After the shepherd retired, he felt ewes less.
His wife tried to keep him busy around the house. "Come on man, no good doing nothing, get the work done, chop chop."
And upon his return to home he'll just get another lambasting.
Someone threw a snowball at me the other day. It was that rotten little heifer across the street.
Someone threw a snowball at me the other day. It was that rotten little heifer across the street.
Similar thing happened to me a heifer dozen times!
You should give the man a prize for being out standing in his field [;D] [;D]
At least they might be open for fleecing in around 21 days.........
Are ewe serious?
Not if he's ever been in Newe Joisey in January.
Is that near New Lambshire?
You certainly know how to milk them puns demografx, it's udderly amazing
To the left? I try not to be too political (or even correct) about geography, Geezer!
To the left? I try not to be too political (or even correct) about geography, Geezer!
New Hempshire is more potlitical.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnewsimg.bbc.co.uk%2Fmedia%2Fimages%2F39259000%2Fjpg%2F_39259714_yamaniap203.jpg&hash=aed640498da3087771d979d5110bdc42)
Sheikh Yamani
At this time of year, I've no mani left to sheikh, its all gone on Xmas prezzies.
Here at my estate on Monteverdi I attempted a Liszt of classical composers but had to go Bach because I couldn't get a Handel on it.
Here at my estate on Monteverdi I attempted a Liszt of classical composers but had to go Bach because I couldn't get a Handel on it.
Don,
Pay no attention. My colleague means no harm. He's obviously slightly Brahms'd.
if you were Chopin onions all day like me, you'd be crying, too!!
Well something's gotta give, or I'll go baroque. Period!
Are you some sort of a hood?
I need to find something to stops yarn horseing around.
Well something's gotta give, or I'll go baroque. Period!
Surely you mean Bismarck?
Are you some sort of a hood?
I need to find something to stops yarn horseing around.
I was not horseing around. It was Demo hoodunnit sir!
The electrician was suspected of wiretapping once but was never charged.
Geezer, why do you accuse me of sinking to such depraved depths? This thread has indeed hit upon some treacherous waters.
Geezer, why do you accuse me of sinking to such depraved depths? This thread has indeed hit upon some treacherous waters.
Mr Justice Soxon
Mr Demografx, You stand here accused of depth charges.
The electrician was suspected of wiretapping once but was never charged.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing021.gif&hash=44605df69e1507c3ed4d235c15c22e92) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Hahahahaha, oh dear! That's a gas!
Dion, I bet that...
Water you suggesting?
Take it easy JimBob. We don't want Don to get all irrigated.
Similar to tire prices, Don. Due to inflation.
Dion, I bet that made you flaming mad. And I am sure the inflation just made you hotter.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftoons.artie.com%2F20010301%2Farg-dancing-happy-holidays-red-sm-url.gif&hash=49aa1261fec2406f1747d0890712d7a0)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Ftoons.artie.com%2F20010301%2Farg-dancing-happy-holidays-red-sm-url.gif&hash=49aa1261fec2406f1747d0890712d7a0)
The Alpha (first) bet lost - came up snake eyes while playing craps.
You are giving up gambling?
Can I bet that you are not..........
I went camping with my husband and got no rumpy pumpy, just a lot of in tent shuns.
I went camping with my husband and got no rumpy pumpy, just a lot of in tent shuns.
Praise indeed from the master of cunning linguistics!
Praise indeed from the master of cunning linguistics!
Did you know he's also a master magician?
He loves cunning stunts.
...a darn sight sticky...
...delights that precede the sticky delight...
...when he waves that little stick...
It is in the usage of the stick, not just the application therof to the object in question.........
If you are RC, would you use a rhythm stick?
We certainly got a good flocking.
Did you know he's also a master magician?
Yes! People have even watched in awe as he walks down the street and turns into a drugstore!!
A magic tractor drove down the road and turned into a field!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dung can...
Duncan who?
Dung can make the grass grow.
We certainly got a good flocking.
A flock of doves decided to stage a coo.
I think the ring leader's name was coobler kahn.
Oh dear, you shouldn't have said that. you have invited a cornucopia of farming puns to be ploughed up by the combined harvesters of puns on this forum.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dung can...
Duncan who?
Dung can make the grass grow.
Really? No sh - - !!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fphoto.jpg&hash=51d0cca154d3b82b5b05f0fdafcdbd4c)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi858.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fab143%2Fdemografx%2Fphoto.jpg&hash=51d0cca154d3b82b5b05f0fdafcdbd4c)
They don't look like corns to me. Is something afoot here?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dung can...
Duncan who?
Dung can make the grass grow.
Really? No sh - - !!
No. Quite a lot really.
I would go so far as to say we were well and truly screwed. But we turned the tables and gave them a good hammering.
Weld there's no need to be so brazing about it. I suppose we'll just have to solder on without you.
OK, then solder on if you must.
Just what planished are you living on?
I wouldn't say I was exactly planished, but I am getting slightly peckish.
Q: Why do they call him Charles Atlas?
A: Because 'e never wears an 'at.
Q: Why do they call him Charles Atlas?
A: Because 'e never wears an 'at.
You bowlered me over with that, I just can't topper it.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fitnesshealthzone.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F06%2Fcharles-atlas.jpg&hash=ccc232674c51050e49cd8e53f719be87)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.fitnesshealthzone.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2009%2F06%2Fcharles-atlas.jpg&hash=ccc232674c51050e49cd8e53f719be87)
Can you turn around? I think it looks more like Gregory's pecks.
So, you think you can post a picture of me here with impunity eh!
Will you punctilious punters please pole your punt punctually to the place for puny punks?
Is it true that the fresh air accused the smog of acting like a complete aerosol?
Is it true that the fresh air accused the smog of acting like a complete aerosol?
I think you have mist the point.
Don, is that the sole place they can be found?
........ "Glue Made Hooves"
.... The publishing rights were recently bought by Bill Gaits. And did he ever pony up a small fortune to buy it!
'Er indoors broke the heel off her shoe the other day, so she took it to the cobblers to be healed.
Over the door was a royal crest and the legend 'By Appointment, Cobblers to the Queen'. Would that constitute treason? Could he have his tongue cut out for not being in step with popular notions? Has he reached the upper limit? Should we take out his eyes for not toeing the line? Would he realise if he were first laced with vodka? What would be the last thing he would ever see? Call the police, quickly, to deal with this man, get that famous detective Slipper (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Slipper) of the Yard to investigate.
Does this very nearly cap it all? I hope you can read it all, I should hate to have to revamp it.
Maybe he should get the boot [;D]
To p, or not to p, (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Ftoliot%2F4.gif&hash=d1df33dc30523330aff539d0ebf1eea7)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.crystalimagesinc.com%2Fboot_mx07.jpg&hash=1f2438e6a7b458909bd608137a939768)
(Sorry, Geezer, but I could only find 2 left feet [;D] )
Did you know the UK has the eh, eh, while the US has the eh, eh, eh, eh?
Did you know the UK has the eh, eh, while the US has the eh, eh, eh, eh?
hee hee
They always fly on Untidy Airlines too.
Take heart. Valentine's Day is coming soon.
That's bloody pumping it!
I always get a stack of bloody cards on Valentines day, no really, I'm not just being vein.
Its true, I tell you, I am so handsome I am know locally as Papillon. When I was younger I was known as caterpillary.
I always get a stack of bloody cards on Valentines day, no really, I'm not just being vein.
Its true, I tell you, I am so handsome I am know locally as Papillon. When I was younger I was known as caterpillary.
I didn't think you were that vein. Artery, I thought you were quite modest.
There's a murmur going around you had heart problems in the past Demo. I hope you'll be OK in the suture.
Arrest???? Yes, actually I could do with a rest.(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fsleeping%2F9.gif&hash=49a075fe545173e6a232819362e25198)
Arrest???? Yes, actually I could do with a rest.(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fsleeping%2F9.gif&hash=49a075fe545173e6a232819362e25198)
OK.
Haggis in the name of the law.
(hmmm???)
OK.
Haggis in the name of the law.
(hmmm???)
Speaking of the law, do lawyers wear law suits?
You guys are punny; your remarks bring hearty laughs.
Did you hear about the Chinese lawyer? Her name is Sue Yu. [;D]
Well My lawyer is I.P. Freely and he can really put the fire out if Ker-choo's, and Sue's Me!
OK.
Haggis in the name of the law.
(hmmm???)
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.freesmileys.org%2Fsmileys%2Fsmiley-laughing021.gif&hash=44605df69e1507c3ed4d235c15c22e92) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) I like it!
I use the old law firm of Dewey, Cheetham, and Howe.
Only 63 days left till April Fool's Day. Hope everyone's prepared!
Are Rotarians just sectarians by another name?
You mean to say cricket's a sport? I thought it was mass hypnosis.
At Naked Science Forum we have so many threads, why aren't there more tailors???
I don't think it suits them.
Silence? I'll give you silence.
.
A Blinding Silence!
An echo in my past....wonderful song of silence......
An echo in my past....wonderful song of silence......
A two enjoyments for one posting special that was, thank you Karen!
Hardly a colt, possibly a little hair of the dog will help, if not then I will have to try some other remedy or some other melody.
Hardly a colt, possibly a little hair of the dog will help, if not then I will have to try some other remedy or some other melody.
Careful, Sean, lest the melody keeps on playing until it becomes a strain!
Hardly a colt, possibly a little hair of the dog will help, if not then I will have to try some other remedy or some other melody.
Careful, Sean, lest the melody keeps on playing until it becomes a strain!
I know it's hard, but will you try to refrain yourself, and refrain from making similar remarks in future.
So, shall we refrain from making this a refrain?
Did you hear about the cross-eyed schooteacher?
She had trouble with her pupils.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed schooteacher?
She had trouble with her pupils.
Every time she cried, the tears ran down the back of her neck.
That gave her bacteria.
Every time she cried, the tears ran down the back of her neck.
That gave her bacteria.
These days, I'd be happy with a little chubby.
These days, I'd be happy with a little chubby.
I hear Yale University is relockating it's school of carpentry to Florida's Key West. They hope to teach students how to make the perfect mortice and tennon joint.
Even the President's Cabinet has approved the idea.
Even the President's Cabinet has approved the idea.
Woody like me to be a guest cabinet speaker?
How kind, nice to know my lunacy does not go unnoticed.
These days, I'd be happy with a little chubby.
[:o] [;D] [::)] [:o] [;D] [::)]
How kind, nice to know my lunacy does not go unnoticed.
This is sick, but the only one I could come up with. The frog went unnoticed in the milkshake because it blended so well.
I'm hearse, too, I hope it's not a colt.
I'm hearse, too, I hope it's not a colt.
I'm hearse, too, I hope it's not a colt.
If you're manely horse it's a cinch to trot over to the centaur of town and get some colt medication, unless you want to just ride it out. If you have hayfever you might wish for rein.
Your posts are OK but you will never see them again unless you do as I say. You will get your instructions soon. Do not contact the Fuzz or you will never see them again
Fetch locks to secure said award until the ceremony. I shall look after the key..... Yup, it will be a Don Key. I shall also arrange the seating so we can all sit our asses down while the town mare presents the award.
Is Demo giving out the award in Sam Pam's Disco? Has he arranged to have the award presented by the Bay Mayor?
Do undertakers have to go to a lot of rehearsals?
Speaking of clothing, has anyone ever had a Clothes Encounter?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fangry2%2F11.gif&hash=ef77c6e2d50d42acd17192a634104bfe) Oi! Button your lip, you old fool.
Oi! Where's me post?
Karen's so cool! When I saw she got an award Icecreamed.
This is National Sleep Awareness Week!
http://www.awarenessdates.com/2008/03/national-sleep-awareness-week.html
Doze anyone have a comment to make?
It snore t my position to do so.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Ffainting%2F1.gif&hash=9f679325d51a2a8410934e5499e6100e)
I'm green with envy,
Who is this person named Envy you seem to be sharing your chameleonistic ways with?
Thanks demo. Some people were nasty to me recently, so I responded with kindness, but not to the nasty pooheads, but to someone who deserves kindness. Karen donates her time as moderator, and so I picked her this time. I see it as a behaviour pun.
Donnah, that was truly beautiful! [:)]
Would anyone undertake searching the dead letter office for Geezer's mia post?
Or is that behaviour?
Does that mean most politicians and lawyers are O negative?
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1101.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fg438%2Fdonnah2810%2FMasterPicturedownload361.jpg&hash=19b70a1ba6d2d892d96fd01c0a0b431a)
(Rae, the bear, should be sleeping. Photo taken from our dining room window.)
It is if you run around in bear feet and eat like a bird.
Can't help it, it's how my little brain works. Maybe I've been brainWASHed and asSALTed by an evil brainiac. BAW HA HA.
Or is that behaviour?
The British spelling is behaviour, the American removes the U. Being Canadian, I fluctuate between them. Is that OK?
Sure it is Ok to vacillate. I learned that at university.
Or was it thru adversity?
Ire illied own tunders tand thi splayonwards tuff!
Daveman! Welcome to punning! Be extra-nice to Donnah, though, I can barely restrain her from unleashing The Power Of Rae <shudder> if you pun too badly!
Hey, Canadian daveman, if we smoosh (another female technical term) your nationality and your name into one word it would be Caveman. What are you doing in Chile, spelunking? And is it warm in Chile?
With lines like that you might get hung out to dry. Especially after WASH week.
Donnah, I hope you saw my message!
The name of the link says it all. Watch if you dare!
http://wn.com/Women_Crushes_Beer_Cans_With_Boob
It said today in the newspaper that the two guys caught drinking battery acid will soon be charged!
The electrician was suspected of wiretapping once but was never charged.
As for AAM, in Canada we say "I AAM CANADIAN" eh. At least in the beer ads we do. Which brings me to another point. In beer ads why do they show so many boobs? They're selling beer, not milk.
It said today in the newspaper that the two guys caught drinking battery acid will soon be charged!
I demand partial attribution, Dave!
The electrician was suspected of wiretapping once but was never charged.
As for AAM, in Canada we say "I AAM CANADIAN" eh. At least in the beer ads we do. Which brings me to another point. In beer ads why do they show so many boobs? They're selling beer, not milk.
Rabbits like their beer brewed with a lot of hops.
Yikes, makes my back ache just to look at that woman's boobs. She couldn't ride, she'd beat the poor horse to death.
Don't tell me Donnah's from Calgary (biggest stampede in the world!)... my home town!
Hey, imagine our poor chesty on a brahama!!
Don't tell me Donnah's from Calgary (biggest stampede in the world!)... my home town!
Yep, I'm from Calgary (though I don't live there anymore) and I used to work as a cowgirl. So the Stampede City is your hometown too.
So the current laws don't apply to electrical spies?
...have memories of a stripper called "Fat Annie" who used to work at a club called Airport.
Presumably Annie walloped the guy with underarm mass?
Presumably Annie walloped the guy with underarm mass?
Hm. The plot thickens.
April 1st came and went. Now I feel Foolish.
Romance in the springtime, now close to six months away, with the cold of winter between now and then. The cold nights, having to use a single sheet to keep warm, having a warm shower instead of cold, icecream not melting in the cone before you can eat it...........
But lack of the magical brew causes me to turn into something that bears a strong resemblance to an ogre.............
But lack of the magical brew causes me to turn into something that bears a strong resemblance to an ogre.............
Yes I get affected the beary same way!
[;D] [;D] [;D]
I'm having tea with friends who are well connected. What kind of tea? Why nut tea of course. I just couldn't bear not being around my punny friends.
[;D] [;D] [;D]
Nice teeth, BioWizard! And welcome to our nuthouse!
A toothless termite walked into a tavern and said, "Is the bar tender here?"
I thought nutsies wore swastikas!?
I haven't had Swasteakas for a long time. Take a cheap cut steak and marinate for a day, then cook in the slow cooker. Voila, Swiss steakas.
BTW, Karen, that was "she" not "he"... [:)]
This is
Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness Month
www.aboutibs.org/site/about-ibs/april-ibs-awareness-month
I'm sure no one will dare make a pun about this!
...not what the dim memories of your long past youth are thinking Demo...
This is
Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness Month
www.aboutibs.org/site/about-ibs/april-ibs-awareness-month
I'm sure no one will dare make a pun about this!
Who's the bald narcissist with a reefer?
This is
Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness Month
www.aboutibs.org/site/about-ibs/april-ibs-awareness-month
I'm sure no one will dare make a pun about this!
I see much Do-Do about nothing in the future, so don´t get your colin in a knot!
This is
Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness Month
www.aboutibs.org/site/about-ibs/april-ibs-awareness-month
I'm sure no one will dare make a pun about this!
I see much Do-Do about nothing in the future, so don´t get your colin in a knot!
That's Powell, not bowel!! [;D]
Reefer, a refrigerated trailer, not what the dim memories of your long past youth are thinking Demo...................
Though I will admit that having a moment at the airport can be a long wait, if not a long drop.
Who's the bald narcissist with a reefer?
This is
Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness Month
www.aboutibs.org/site/about-ibs/april-ibs-awareness-month
I'm sure no one will dare make a pun about this!
I see much Do-Do about nothing in the future, so don´t get your colin in a knot!
That's Powell, not bowel!! [;D]
NO, it's knot with Baden Powell.
National Children’s Mental Health Awareness Week
Starts tomorrow - May 1!
http://www.ffcmh.org/events/national-childrens-mental-health-awareness-week/
I wonder if this was set up and specifically intended for the members of this Punning thread?......
If your stomach is in a knot, yet you know it is not totally knotted, then it is not unlikely that you are head over heels in love, is it not?
I'm afrayed knot, but at least I'm not afraid Dave.
I'm afrayed knot, but at least I'm not afraid Dave.
No, not Government Motors, but that funny stuff served up be a certain corporation that likes to sue farmers where the patented pollen blows on the wind.
well water you make of these five words?
faint, bacon, lava, bra, feat
Curses, upstaged again!!!
However, you were a little slow in your response. Kindly be more prompt in the future.
Prompt? You do mean prop, don't you, as in stage prop?
Hmm. For some reason, this all somehow reminds me of the shy stripper who couldn't bare it on stage.
Prompt? You do mean prop, don't you, as in stage prop?
Put simply (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InTAt2hI_kg&feature=related)
From Poland? So am I.
And ballerinas are really kept on their toes, so I don't see the problem!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpoleart.org%2FImages%2FHeaderDancer.gif&hash=485ca3db3ef1cf93f8ea8df96dcb4e62)
So you like ballet also also(too too)!
I am not overly keen on the Nutcracker. But to get back to the ballet.....
So you like ballet also also (too too)!(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fpose7fashion.files.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F01%2F17mila_5.jpg&hash=7263e5fa8af0cc1a796cc3563a14eb53)
mod edit
Oh, tut, Tut, King Don...
You may tut most of all...
Oh, tut, Tut, King Don...
You may tut most of all...
At least we have Tut in khommon.
Oh, tut, Tut, King Don...
You may tut most of all...
At least we have Tut in khommon.
I like that one from you tomb me.
When I went to our local Chinese restaurant, I said I would have soup for a starter.
"Won Ton?" Asked the waiter. I retorted, "A small bowl will be quite sufficient."
..... Gutenberg. He was a good type, even when pressed.
National Ventriloquism Week - starts today!
http://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/ventriloquism-week/
♪♪ I can see clearly now, the rain is gone. ♫
My fortune cookie didn't have a fortune in it, just the name of the quality control person, Yoo Soon Digh.
ps - were YOU one of The Shadows???
ps - were YOU one of The Shadows???
Strange you should ask, I have been accused of lurking around in them!!!(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Fmisbehaving%2F10.gif&hash=92e44ddc63ec412169ae55fa92f841b6)
Today is
Pi Day
So feel free to throw a pie in Don's (or my) face! [:D]
I simply didn't get your drift!
You guys are all invited to our new reality show to find the world's ugliest person. If you're all voted off, at least we'll know we left no crone unspurned.
Grizelda was asked by la Sûreté to formerly identify the body of whom they believed to be Quasimodo. When she looked at the body she said, "Well, I'm not to sure, but the face rings a bell."
No tram dam
Is that a Quasi-blast?
Is that a Quasi-blast?
You must be referring to:
Phys Rev Lett. 2009 Nov 27;103(22):224501. Epub 2009 Nov 25.
Blast shocks in quasi-two-dimensional supersonic granular flows.
Boudet JF, Cassagne J, Kellay H.
Source
Centre de Physique Moléculaire Optique et Hertzienne, Université Bordeaux 1, UMR 5798 CNRS, 351 cours de la Libération, 33405 Talence, France.
Now what the hell am I supposed to do with that? I don't know how you have de Gaulle to leave me so stranded.
Now what the hell am I supposed to do with that? I don't know how you have de Gaulle to leave me so stranded.
You're right but give me a chance, it's still Orly in the morning for me to Field a question like that!
Oh! Just bourget it!
...we assumed she was 'in loco parentis'.
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fbestsmileys.com%2Feating1%2F20.gif&hash=63077d6956a2ad5315c7a3d488fdac8c)
Time for some more chocy now..... (https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fd21c.com%2Fwalpurgis9%2Fhappies%2Ffaces%2F072.gif&hash=3168ba716db5aad64f17dcfa552ede9b)
"In that case" I wispaed "show us your snickers!" She laughed and said "You cad, bury that idea."
Where would be the best place to learn the art of the lumberjack? The sawbonne!?
But doesn't Don know that making fun of a tree is a knock on wood???
August 1 through August 5 is
National Psychic Week
http://www.psychicsource.com/blog/index.php/3566/featured-psychic/when-is-national-psychic-week-this-year-its-august-1-5/
Now why didn't Don predict that National Psychic Week would start today?????
I thought [National Psychic Week] had been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances. It seems not though, I suppose it was on the cards.
Let's hope nothing gets stolen at the conference, I just hate nasty little tea leaves, don't you?
Last year there were complaints about the lack of air conditioning at the event. Attendees were heard to complain to the organisers. One said "Bloody phew! t' your air con, its too damn hot in here." His side kick echoed him. But there were few chairs left empty when the event started. During the morning break, medium roast coffee was served. One delegate threw his coffee on the ground in disgust. Another delegate asked "What did you do that for? tell me." Another asked for his beverage to be stirred, the waiter said "Go stir it yourself."
At lunch, a delegate with a cleft lip enquired as to the 'sooth oph the day'. He remarked it was a shame in this day and age that you cannot always tell witch flavour your food is. "Warlocks", Said the chef, who also had a hair lip. Wine was served with the main course. A dinner remarked on the plastic vessel the wine was served in, saying, "I would have expected, considering the price we have paid, the wine to be served in crystal." "Balls! said a rude waiter, "As trolls, oh gee you don't deserve crystal."
Many stars attended the conference. To their horror, scope of the conference was limited due to time constraints.
A satelite event was held just down the road in the 7th house on the left, but there seemed to be little spirit there, despite the main event being relayed to a plasma screen.
Organiser, Sue F Sayer said she can't remember how she coped with the organisation pre dictaphones, let alone laptops.
I shall get a moderator to ban Anna. She is a bit tasty though, the apple of her fathers eye and she's got a nice pear.
Tomorrow, August 5, 2011 is
International Beer Day
http://www.internationalbeerday.com/
So let's get ready! Hop to it! Start brewing trouble and enjoy!
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.internationalbeerday.com%2Fbadges%2Fibd-beerheart-badge.jpg&hash=5b3dec9481335c1f78e26c165291ac69)
... your looks would be just fine young man...
Curses! I missed out on that one. Coors, I’m sure I could have brewed up a cocktail of puns in the spirit of this occasion, bud. Wiser in the art of punning than the average man, I may not be, still, ah, art were my way to punification.
Yeast sir, I would have hopped to it. Some may have been light while some larger, none bitter, I hope, but a pale full could have been forthcoming. I could have been the oast with the most.
Today, August 30th, 2011 is:
National Toasted Marshmallow Day
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fdoit101.com%2FPenmanship%2Fimages%2Fill034.jpg&hash=5701297ec926f4f76634fc7a12d84018)
A Punners LamentLol..LOL...Thats great! by the way the 30th was also my birthday! lol!
As I was browsing through the posts,
Upon the science forum.
I found myself somewhat lacking,
In any sense of decorum.
No matter what was written there,
No matter how serious.
I felt the urge to have to write,
Something quite delirious.
But not for me a simple case,
Of scribing something silly.
Oh no dear reader I had to write
Something cheesy as Caerphilly.
I took the words written there,
And found another meaning.
My puns were ‘oft times very stupid,
My posts quite demeaning.
If only I could be more serious,
Write something educated.
A post of wisdom to make my standing,
Become more inflated.
Alas I fear it never shall be,
I have a nose for a pun.
And so the forum members shout,
'Oi trunky, where’s your bun?'
A Punners Lament
As I was browsing through the posts,
Upon the science forum.
I found myself somewhat lacking,
In any sense of decorum.
No matter what was written there,
No matter how serious.
I felt the urge to have to write,
Something quite delirious.
But not for me a simple case,
Of scribing something silly.
Oh no dear reader I had to write
Something cheesy as Caerphilly.
I took the words written there,
And found another meaning.
My puns were ‘oft times very stupid,
My posts quite demeaning.
If only I could be more serious,
Write something educated.
A post of wisdom to make my standing,
Become more inflated.
Alas I fear it never shall be,
I have a nose for a pun.
And so the forum members shout,
'Oi trunky, where’s your bun?'
(https://www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F_UsfhDcgBxwY%2FTMSrN_S3KXI%2FAAAAAAAADNo%2F4p9mTn8qlmk%2Fs1600%2Fhappy_birthday_karen_badge.png&hash=f7b71e77e8046cca53f183a79e524609)Thank you Demo... how pretty...sweet!