The aether has no detected properties. On the other hand dark matter was postulated to explain an observed effect. Namely the accelerated expansion of the universe so there is no dual standard.
There is a unique reference frame in which the microwave background monopole is zero. This is observable evidence of our Sun's velocity relative to the aether, approximately 368 km/s toward Leo.
In my model, the expansion of space is both the source and the destination of dark energy. I don't want to go into too much detail about that, here, except to say that the aether has a foamy structure below the Planck scale; more bubbles equal more space; expansion of the foam pops the bubbles and radiates dark-energy pressure waves; but all that takes place in backwards time in a smaller-scale universe whose cosmic foam is our aether foam. From our point of view, in this universe, dark energy pressure waves converge to a point where they cause an aether-foam bubble to un-pop, absorbing dark energy rather than emitting it.