[BenV (OP)]

Ivan asked us this question on the show, and we could do with your help!

How much ear wax can you produce in a lifetime and can you make a candle with it?

[Karen W.]

That is an interesting question. My son had terrible trouble with ear wax. It was not the brownish orange variety but rather the yellowish kind of soft butter colored and very dry not moist as some earwax I have seen, namely my husbands very dark and gooey! Mine is more like No. 1 sons Very dry and flaky but if removed binds together. My sons would not drain, No matter what kind of drops they gave him and how long we soaked it, it stayed in these weird little tumble weed like rolls of semi soft flaky formable rolls of wax that would have to be extracted with tweezers when the finally became blocked at the outer ear canal. You could get hold of them and pull these long rolled up balls of what seemed like layers of rolled semi dry ear wax. They would completely block his ear drum and cause him terrible hearing loss until removed. He also had many surgeries and tubes in his ears. I remember clearing the wax from his ear and I would use a small petri dish and begin pulling the wax out. It was normal routine at the end of each week. He hated laying there but the doctor said it was all we could do. by the time I was done the bottom of the petri dish was usually covered in ear wax.. not smelly nasty gooeiness but rather dry moldable wax!!

I honestly don't know if it would actually burn if molded into candle form, because I never thought about it. but I would say as far as amount.. it would depend on the week. sometimes there was more wax in his ears on one week then there was on other weeks. It was really productive some weeks! If I were to guess I would say his ears produced on the average a full tablespoon and a half every week. I do believe that would be me being conservative really!!!

My other son had this creamy colored creamy wet earwax that would just surface to the outer ear and could be cleaned with a wash cloth.

Hubbies was totally orange reddish brown in color and gooey and hard to remove. He had to have his ears flushed regularly. There was tons of stickiness in his ears.LOL!!
Mine is really not moist at all once in a while, but not often. My ears will itch and I will find a very small amount of pretty darn dry ear wax, enough so that when you drop it in the trash it floats on the air like a piece of instant dried mashed potato flake!!! LOL .. My sons were slightly moister mine, and  seem pretty dry,but for mine  potato flakes would be a good description.. you know the instant kind you make mashed potato's from before you add water!!

Mine may get enough to remove about 1 time every month or so.. I do clean them regularly but visible ear wax I rarely see.

[opus]

I was just going to have supper- Imay wait a while now......excuse me.....

[RD]

Dry Earwax Mystery Solved: Ear Wax Gene Identified
 
An exhaustive genetic study conducted on more than 3000 people has helped solve one of the ancient mysteries associated with earwax. It could eventually explain why some people have dry earwax while some others have a sticky, brown exudate.
 
The study has further established that people from either a European or African descent tend to have sticky and wet earwax while those with an east-Asian origin have dry wax.

http://www.medindia.net/news/view_news_main.asp?x=7489

[BenV must be Fan of "Father Ted".]

 

[Karen W.]

So that may put me into the east asian decent, given the info is accurate. I have very dry ear wax!

[Ethos]

I was just going to have supper- Imay wait a while now......excuse me.....

......retch, gag, vomit, upcuck, puck my guts out, could I also be excused??

[Karen W.]

LOL.. LOL..Light weights!!

[Don_1]

    
Can you make a candle with your earwax?


Shove a wick in your lughole, set light to it & see.

[Chemistry4me]

The safer approach would be to get your earwax out then set light to it.

[Don_1]

[Chemistry4me]

I'm surprised you're still alive after that dynamite set off next to your brain.

[Don_1]

Brain?

[Chemistry4me]

Oh yeah, dead Cor! Puscles! []

[RD]

For those who didn't get my Father Ted reference above ...

In the episode The Passion of St Tibulus, Father Jack has also been called a "one man candle factory" by Father Ted as his ears produce enough wax to make vast quantities of candles, (Father Ted remarked that they "almost have enough for a papal funeral").

http://dic.academic.ru/dic.nsf/enwiki/338172
 

[Don_1]

"Fek off cup!"   -    Brilliant, I still laugh my head off at the repeats of Father Ted.

[RD]

[Father Jack's] alcoholism has progressed to such a degree that he will drink many household cleaning products. On one occasion, he consumed a bottle of floor polish and was pronounced dead. However it transpired he had only "the symptoms of death" - including rigor mortis and decomposition. In one episode he also drinks the household cleaning product Toilet Duck and embarks on a hallucinogenic trip. His abuse of household substances is apparently very common: for example, in the first-series episode "Entertaining Father Stone", Fr. Hackett is dragged into Craggy Island Hospital by three doctors; they tell Ted that they "believe that today it's a mixture of Babysham and Harpic."

http://dic.academic.ru/dic.nsf/enwiki/338172

[neilep]

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 [ Invalid Attachment ]

[Variola]

"Fek off cup!"   -    Brilliant, I still laugh my head off at the repeats of Father Ted.

Fed up with breeeeeeek!!

[RD]

.
 [ Invalid Attachment ]

Here is "The Straight Dope" on ear candling ...

The medical team consisted of Keith Block, a family practitioner with an interest in alternative medicine, and Cecil's good friend Clark Federer. Clark was a surgeon rather than an ear-nose-throat guy, but I meant to be prepared for any eventuality. Our subject was Pat, a 30-year-old male who'd had earwax removed via conventional medical treatment some years earlier.
First we peered into Pat's ears with an otoscope, the familiar flashlight-type examining device. The poor guy had enough wax in there to make his own candles. We put him on the table, lit the candle, and stuck it in his ear in the prescribed manner. Then we watched, struggling to suppress the thought that we should also be chanting and maybe sacrificing small animals.
When the candle had burned down to two inches we snuffed it and examined the treated ear with the otoscope. No change, except that possibly the wax was dented where the candle had been stuck in. Upon slicing open the candle stub, however, we found a considerable quantity of brown wax and whitish powder. The manual had the audacity to intimate that the powder was candida yeast extracted from the ear, conceding that possibly "1% to 10%" was from the used candle. The disappointed MDs were more inclined to say it was 100 percent, but just to be sure we burned another candle in the open air. When we sliced it open we found wax and powder identical to that in the first. Conclusion: it's a hoax.

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1103/how-do-ear-candles-work

[Bored chemist]

Given that  the second experiment could have been done first and that there are recorded cases of injury to the ear due to burning debris from "ear candles" that experiment should never have been done.