Let's play a little game

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« on: 03/03/2008 22:23:51 »
What's the worst thing to say to whom?

To a model - "Aren't models supposed to be slim?"

To Amy Winehouse - "I see they're going to start taxing crack cocaine"

To a werewolf - "Paw!"

To a nuclear plant maintenance manager - "Is that a bolt on the floor?"

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Offline Exodus

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« Reply #1 on: 03/03/2008 22:35:39 »
to a woman: "you've got something on your chin.... no, the other one"

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Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #2 on: 03/03/2008 22:36:41 »
To a fat person "When you go swimming in the sea, do the whales sing 'we are family'?"
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #3 on: 03/03/2008 22:47:33 »
to a woman: "you've got something on your chin.... no, the other one"

Ouch!
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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #4 on: 04/03/2008 03:30:08 »
To a beaver - "That's a fine pelt you have there. Want to come over for some Almond butter biscuits and tea?"

(potassium cyanide, you know)
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #5 on: 04/03/2008 09:13:40 »
To a beaver - "That's a fine pelt you have there. Want to come over for some Almond butter biscuits and tea?"

(potassium cyanide, you know)

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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #6 on: 04/03/2008 14:25:40 »


What - you can't take a joke????????????

The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #7 on: 04/03/2008 14:34:28 »
Oh, sorry - that must have been American so-called "humour".
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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #8 on: 04/03/2008 14:36:19 »
To George Dubya - what is 2 + 2?
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #9 on: 04/03/2008 15:20:46 »
Strange boy
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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #10 on: 04/03/2008 15:48:59 »
DO I need to add to "George Dubya" the name Bush? Are you that dense? - Gawd, let me have patience with his senility.
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #11 on: 04/03/2008 16:05:42 »
Are senility and dementia the same thing? If not he's got both.
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Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #12 on: 04/03/2008 16:06:53 »
To Gordon Brown "Stop rolling your eye at me."
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #13 on: 04/03/2008 16:08:21 »
To a nerd "How many places can you quote Pye to?"

Three hours later he's still going!
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Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #14 on: 04/03/2008 16:10:32 »
To a naked man "Hold on, I'll get a magnifying glass."
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Offline Nobody's Confidant

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« Reply #15 on: 04/03/2008 17:25:52 »
To a naked man "Hold on, I'll get a magnifying glass."
uhhhhhhh huh.
Nothing is absolute. It takes a thousand people to make a stereotype, only one to grind it into the dust.

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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #16 on: 04/03/2008 18:09:25 »
To a woman - "Are those real or silicone?"

To a woman - "Who did your plastic surgery"

The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #17 on: 04/03/2008 21:23:41 »
To an American - "Where exactly is Iraq?"
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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #18 on: 04/03/2008 21:29:50 »
To a Brit - "Where is Iraq? Do you know where your troops are?"
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #19 on: 04/03/2008 21:36:29 »
To a Brit - "Where is Iraq? Do you know where your troops are?"

Iraq is between Jordan & Iran (every Brit knows that). And yes, we know where our troops are.

Americans think that Iraq is between Iran & Ireland because countries are arranged alphabetically.
« Last Edit: 04/03/2008 21:38:03 by DoctorBeaver »
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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #20 on: 04/03/2008 22:47:40 »
I guess that makes sense to a daffy Brit, but not to this American. I know that Iraq is also bordered by Iran, Turkey, Saudi Arabia and Kuwait besides bordering the paltry two countries you could named, above.

What is tea to as Brit? "A letter of the alphabet."
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #21 on: 04/03/2008 22:52:05 »
I know about Turkey, Kuwait & Saudi. I was generalising.

P.S. You forgot Syria.
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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #22 on: 04/03/2008 23:16:48 »
3 of them isn't that bad - it is a shame, though, you had to find a map on the internet to find the country and spell the word "Syria."
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline Exodus

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« Reply #23 on: 04/03/2008 23:58:28 »
3 of them isn't that bad - it is a shame, though, you had to find a map on the internet to find the country and spell the word "Syria."

lets end this debate with this... Sorry Jimbob, but i think this says it all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0RH0cYs4lw&feature=related

case closed.

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Offline JimBob

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« Last Edit: 05/03/2008 00:44:40 by JimBob »
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline Exodus

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« Reply #25 on: 05/03/2008 00:39:31 »
I see you and raise you one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9dCwwzXC4I

I call you.

A nice try although look at the demographics of who they asked... Young chavs on street corners probably skiving school, or old gits who probably have no idea what day it is... not quite as convincing as my one but a nice try Jimbob i concede.

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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #26 on: 05/03/2008 02:19:15 »
That is quite civil of you Exodus, but my actual thoughts are that we, as a species, are dumbing down to the lowest common denominator so I would prefer to call it a draw.
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #27 on: 05/03/2008 02:20:43 »
What is the worse question that you can ask a blond? - Oh, just pick one, doesn't matter.
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline Nobody's Confidant

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« Reply #28 on: 06/03/2008 17:23:05 »
To a Brit - "Where is Iraq? Do you know where your troops are?"

Iraq is between Jordan & Iran (every Brit knows that). And yes, we know where our troops are.

Americans think that Iraq is between Iran & Ireland because countries are arranged alphabetically.
That's harsh soap-dodger.
Nothing is absolute. It takes a thousand people to make a stereotype, only one to grind it into the dust.

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Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #29 on: 06/03/2008 17:50:54 »
To a Brit - "Where is Iraq? Do you know where your troops are?"

Iraq is between Jordan & Iran (every Brit knows that). And yes, we know where our troops are.

Americans think that Iraq is between Iran & Ireland because countries are arranged alphabetically.
That's harsh soap-dodger.

Isn't Jordon that woman with the big enhancements?

Soap dodger indeed, at the moment I'm bathing in spring water being soaped down by my army of scrubbers.
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #30 on: 06/03/2008 19:06:16 »
A battalion of Israeli commandos entered Jordan on Saturday. Peter Andre is furious!
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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #31 on: 06/03/2008 20:21:20 »
ZING, Right over my head. Who is Peter Andre? This guy?



Rather a familiar sentiment he is expressing, at least the gesture in the US is well known.
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #32 on: 06/03/2008 20:25:26 »
He's married to Jordon and strangely, for a man, wants her breasts reduced.

The gesture means I'm hiding a small one. I've seen it a few times.
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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #33 on: 06/03/2008 22:05:02 »
But why would a Ken Doll be angry about an incursion into Jordan??
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #34 on: 06/03/2008 22:51:50 »
A Ken doll can probably sing better than Peter Andre.
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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #35 on: 07/03/2008 01:25:43 »
Just answer the question, please.
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #36 on: 07/03/2008 07:46:00 »
What's the point? You wouldn't understand the answer.
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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #37 on: 07/03/2008 15:23:54 »
Do not judge me by your abilities, please.
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #38 on: 07/03/2008 15:28:51 »
I judge by experience.
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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #39 on: 07/03/2008 16:03:11 »
Then your memory is so short and addled you cannot make accurate judgments. Do you remember

A battalion of Israeli commandos entered Jordan on Saturday. Peter Andre is furious!

?
AND WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY IT?


(Lord, help me deal with this aged beastie. Beavers are only expected to live almost 20 years. This one is ancient beyond belief. Must be on life support.)
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline Nobody's Confidant

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« Reply #40 on: 07/03/2008 17:24:50 »
To a Brit - "Where is Iraq? Do you know where your troops are?"

Iraq is between Jordan & Iran (every Brit knows that). And yes, we know where our troops are.

Americans think that Iraq is between Iran & Ireland because countries are arranged alphabetically.
That's harsh soap-dodger.

Isn't Jordon that woman with the big enhancements?

Soap dodger indeed, at the moment I'm bathing in spring water being soaped down by my army of scrubbers.
Whatever you say pom.
Nothing is absolute. It takes a thousand people to make a stereotype, only one to grind it into the dust.

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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #41 on: 07/03/2008 18:22:50 »
I believe you just insulted my friend.

Urban Dictionary:

pom   

Either comes from 'prisoner of mother England' or pomigranite - a reddish coloured fruit that native Australians (Aboriginals) thought had a similar colour to the skin of sunburnt Brits.
Not meant to be an insult (as some English think for some reason), merely a nickname for our less-tanned former rulers. Nicknaming everything is very Australian.

I WILL NOT TOLERATE SUCH BEHAVIOR FROM A CHILD! Mind you manners or a way will be found to track you down and break your knees, brat!
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #42 on: 07/03/2008 19:16:29 »
JimBob, you are such an Alpha male.
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #43 on: 07/03/2008 21:19:14 »
Thank you - I do my best to hold my place as loosely as possible, only imposing my "alphaness" when absolutely necessary. Humility best suits me.
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #44 on: 07/03/2008 22:06:28 »
Then your memory is so short and addled you cannot make accurate judgments. Do you remember

A battalion of Israeli commandos entered Jordan on Saturday. Peter Andre is furious!

?
AND WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY IT?


(Lord, help me deal with this aged beastie. Beavers are only expected to live almost 20 years. This one is ancient beyond belief. Must be on life support.)

Sharon already explained it in her post following the pic of Ken doll.
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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #45 on: 08/03/2008 21:01:15 »
Back On topic - if there really was ever any one meant.

Q. What should a woman never ask a geologist unless you want a straight reply?

A. Can I see your rocks?

The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #46 on: 08/03/2008 22:02:01 »
When you are a pharmacist and a man comes to the counter saying "Have you got anything for hair loss?" You should never reply "Yes, a vacuum cleaner."

To a boring colleague "No go on, I always yawn when I'm interested."

To your partner when they are away "I'm so miserable without you it is almost like you are here"

To a short person "The smaller the pip, the louder the squeak."

To a sick person " You have a lot of well-wishers, they'd all like to throw you down one."

To a student "Your IQ is just above room temperature."
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline Nobody's Confidant

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« Reply #47 on: 10/03/2008 16:28:19 »
I believe you just insulted my friend.

Urban Dictionary:

pom   

Either comes from 'prisoner of mother England' or pomigranite - a reddish coloured fruit that native Australians (Aboriginals) thought had a similar colour to the skin of sunburnt Brits.
Not meant to be an insult (as some English think for some reason), merely a nickname for our less-tanned former rulers. Nicknaming everything is very Australian.

I WILL NOT TOLERATE SUCH BEHAVIOR FROM A CHILD! Mind you manners or a way will be found to track you down and break your knees, brat!
Whahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Too good!

Your right, "Pom" did come from an Australian, a professional jerk if it's of any importance to you.
Nothing is absolute. It takes a thousand people to make a stereotype, only one to grind it into the dust.

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Offline JimBob

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« Reply #48 on: 10/03/2008 19:00:18 »
Which knee would you prefer the hired help to brake fist?
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

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Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #49 on: 10/03/2008 20:30:18 »
Is fist the name of the hired help? I thought you were Rambo Jimbob and didn't need hired thuggery (and don't you dare edit that.)
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.