Computer related jokes

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Offline Make it Lady

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« on: 24/03/2008 19:06:08 »
Out of every 10 people only one understands binary and the other doesn't.

Think about it, think about it!

Anyone got any computer corkers. I like geek jokes, normal people just don't get them and that makes me laugh more.
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline Simulated

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« Reply #1 on: 24/03/2008 19:09:24 »
Haha.

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Offline Simulated

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« Reply #2 on: 24/03/2008 19:09:52 »
It's funny, but maybe its just a typo?

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Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #3 on: 25/03/2008 19:33:21 »
HaHa, did you really understand the joke? Think binary numbers and read again.
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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #4 on: 25/03/2008 20:04:30 »
So only 110010% understand it?
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Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #5 on: 25/03/2008 20:12:12 »
I'm glad your with me Doc.
I wonder if JimBob will get it?
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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #6 on: 25/03/2008 20:14:13 »
I'm glad your with me Doc.
I wonder if JimBob will get it?

At his age he'd have to take a tablet!
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Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #7 on: 25/03/2008 20:28:57 »
Moses had the same problem.
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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #8 on: 25/03/2008 20:32:11 »
Indeed *nods sagely*
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Offline Simulated

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« Reply #9 on: 26/03/2008 10:39:50 »
Yeahh I got it then :P

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #10 on: 26/03/2008 18:56:15 »
Fledgling science site at http://www.sciencefile.org/SF/content/view/54/98/ needs members and original articles. If you can help, please join.

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Offline Bored chemist

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« Reply #11 on: 26/03/2008 19:27:26 »
I'd like to thank two normally vociferous factions for refraining from saying
"microsoft" or "mac" etc. as a reply to the phrase "computer related jokes".
Please disregard all previous signatures.

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #12 on: 26/03/2008 21:51:30 »
I'd like to thank two normally vociferous factions for refraining from saying
"microsoft" or "mac" etc. as a reply to the phrase "computer related jokes".

There's nothing wrong with Macs, and Microsoft is beyond being a joke.
Fledgling science site at http://www.sciencefile.org/SF/content/view/54/98/ needs members and original articles. If you can help, please join.

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Offline i am bored

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« Reply #13 on: 27/03/2008 19:49:23 »
some signs your co-worker is a hacker



he gives out his phone number in hex

he gets HBO on his computer

you ticked him off once and your telephone bill was $300,000

every time the office LAN goes off he smiles

all of his office notes are in binary or in leet




 
if the pen is mightier than the sword then imagine how powerfull the printer is

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #14 on: 27/03/2008 19:51:13 »
some signs your co-worker is a hacker



he gives out his phone number in hex

he gets HBO on his computer

you ticked him off once and your telephone bill was $300,000

every time the office LAN goes off he smiles

all of his office notes are in binary or in leet




 

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Offline i am bored

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« Reply #15 on: 27/03/2008 20:05:13 »
lol

01101001011001100010000001111001011011110111010100100000011000110110000101101110001000000111001001100101011000010110010000100000011101000110100001101 001011100110010000001111001011011110111010100100000011010000110000101110110011001010010000001101110011011110010000001101100011010010110011001100101

does anybody care to translate
if the pen is mightier than the sword then imagine how powerfull the printer is

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #16 on: 27/03/2008 20:06:45 »
lol

01101001011001100010000001111001011011110111010100100000011000110110000101101110001000000111001001100101011000010110010000100000011101000110100001101 001011100110010000001111001011011110111010100100000011010000110000101110110011001010010000001101110011011110010000001101100011010010110011001100101

does anybody care to translate

What size bytes?
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Offline i am bored

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« Reply #17 on: 27/03/2008 20:32:06 »
nope thats not it
if the pen is mightier than the sword then imagine how powerfull the printer is

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #18 on: 27/03/2008 20:41:11 »
erm... I need to know what size bytes to split it into.
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Offline i am bored

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« Reply #19 on: 27/03/2008 21:02:02 »
8 i think
if the pen is mightier than the sword then imagine how powerfull the printer is

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Offline Simulated

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« Reply #20 on: 27/03/2008 21:05:59 »
Ha.

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Offline i am bored

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« Reply #21 on: 27/03/2008 21:06:32 »
do you have it ryan
if the pen is mightier than the sword then imagine how powerfull the printer is

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Offline Simulated

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« Reply #22 on: 27/03/2008 21:07:24 »
Nopes.

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Offline i am bored

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« Reply #23 on: 27/03/2008 21:08:22 »
ok
if the pen is mightier than the sword then imagine how powerfull the printer is

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #24 on: 27/03/2008 21:56:34 »
lol

01101001011001100010000001111001011011110111010100100000011000110110000101101110001000000111001001100101011000010110010000100000011101000110100001101 001011100110010000001111001011011110111010100100000011010000110000101110110011001010010000001101110011011110010000001101100011010010110011001100101

does anybody care to translate

To be honest, I really can't be bothered.
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Offline i am bored

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« Reply #25 on: 28/03/2008 00:22:26 »
it means: if you can read this you have no life
if the pen is mightier than the sword then imagine how powerfull the printer is

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Offline Simulated

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« Reply #26 on: 28/03/2008 01:39:18 »
darn i shoulda figured you'd say something like that

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Offline science_guy

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« Reply #27 on: 02/04/2008 05:36:22 »
umm... I got 38 characters total (I dont know binary, so I cant go farther than that) and two of them are cut off, so I cant even get those if I did know binary
_________________________________________________________________________________________

I would engage you in a battle of wits, but it is against my moral code to attack the unarmed.

he's back!!!!

no, my name is not Bill Nye

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Offline science_guy

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« Reply #28 on: 02/04/2008 05:41:13 »
oh... wait... I replied too late... why didn't I notice that?
_________________________________________________________________________________________

I would engage you in a battle of wits, but it is against my moral code to attack the unarmed.

he's back!!!!

no, my name is not Bill Nye

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Offline Bored chemist

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« Reply #29 on: 02/04/2008 18:55:16 »
" need to know what size bytes to split it into."
Byte is a contraction of  "by eights" or at least that's what I was told. 4 bits is a nybble.
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Offline i am bored

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« Reply #30 on: 02/04/2008 21:17:54 »
oh i just used a text to binary converter
if the pen is mightier than the sword then imagine how powerfull the printer is

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Offline Nobody's Confidant

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« Reply #31 on: 03/04/2008 17:39:38 »
oh i just used a text to binary converter
How did you find one of those?
Nothing is absolute. It takes a thousand people to make a stereotype, only one to grind it into the dust.

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Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #32 on: 03/04/2008 18:18:46 »
" need to know what size bytes to split it into."
Byte is a contraction of  "by eights" or at least that's what I was told. 4 bits is a nybble.

Bytes, Nybbles stop it I'm on a diet!
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline Bored chemist

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« Reply #33 on: 03/04/2008 18:49:58 »
 I have a nasty feeling that the combination of information theory, the thermodynamics of entropy and a reasonable assumption about your temperature would permit one to calculate the number of Calories in a byte.
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Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #34 on: 03/04/2008 19:47:17 »
Oh I love it when a man speaks physical chemistry to me.
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Offline i am bored

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if the pen is mightier than the sword then imagine how powerfull the printer is

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Offline Nobody's Confidant

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« Reply #36 on: 04/04/2008 13:41:15 »
oh i just used a text to binary converter
How did you find one of those?

http://www.roubaixinteractive.com/PlayGround/Binary_Conversion/Binary_To_Text.asp
01111001011011110111010100100000011010000110000101110110011001010010000001110100011011110110111100100000011011010111010101100011011010000010000001100110011100100110010101100101001000000111010001101001011011010110010100101110
« Last Edit: 04/04/2008 13:43:45 by Nobody's Confidant »
Nothing is absolute. It takes a thousand people to make a stereotype, only one to grind it into the dust.

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Offline Make it Lady

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« Reply #37 on: 04/04/2008 17:11:28 »
I think I have created a monster (no that isn't what it says, it is what I've done)
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

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Offline Nobody's Confidant

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« Reply #38 on: 04/04/2008 17:18:29 »
I think I have created a monster (no that isn't what it says, it is what I've done)
Nah, Nic was a monster long before this.
Nothing is absolute. It takes a thousand people to make a stereotype, only one to grind it into the dust.

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Offline i am bored

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« Reply #39 on: 04/04/2008 23:34:23 »
01110111011001010010000001110011011010000110111101110101011011000110010000100000011001000110111100100000011000010010000001110100011010000111001001100 10101100001011001000010000001100011011011110110110101110000011011000110010101110100011001010110110001111001001000000110100101101110001000000110001001 10100101101110011000010111001001111001
if the pen is mightier than the sword then imagine how powerfull the printer is

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Offline Bored chemist

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« Reply #40 on: 05/04/2008 01:15:12 »
"Oh I love it when a man speaks physical chemistry to me."
Alas, it seems the chemistry is more theoretical than physical. :-)
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« Reply #41 on: 05/04/2008 02:35:40 »
" need to know what size bytes to split it into."
Byte is a contraction of  "by eights" or at least that's what I was told. 4 bits is a nybble.

Bytes are normally eight bits (most standards prefer to use the word 'octet' in preference to the term byte), but I think the confusion here is the use of the term byte where I think what was intended was 'character' - and a character can be anything from about 5 bits (old Teletype coding), 6 bits used by ICL machines, 7 bit standard ASCII (although usually encoded in octets, with the eighth bit being a parity or zero), or up to 32 bit unicode (or even variable length with UTF8 encoding).

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Offline Nobody's Confidant

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« Reply #42 on: 07/04/2008 17:28:27 »
01101110011000010110000101100001011000010110000101100001011000010110100000101110
011101110110010100100000011100110110100001101111011101010110110001100100001000000110010001101111001000000110000100100000011101000110100001110010011001010110000101100100001000000110001101101111011011010111000001101100011001010111010001100101011011000111100100100000011010010110111000100000011000100110100101101110011000010111001001111001
Nothing is absolute. It takes a thousand people to make a stereotype, only one to grind it into the dust.

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Offline science_guy

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« Reply #43 on: 20/04/2008 04:22:05 »
1110100010101101010111000101011010100101010101001010101001010101101010101010100111101010001010010110100101001?

 [:D]
_________________________________________________________________________________________

I would engage you in a battle of wits, but it is against my moral code to attack the unarmed.

he's back!!!!

no, my name is not Bill Nye

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Offline Nobody's Confidant

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« Reply #44 on: 21/04/2008 17:52:14 »
1110100010101101010111000101011010100101010101001010101001010101101010101010100111101010001010010110100101001?

 [:D]
Translator won't work, what does that say?
Nothing is absolute. It takes a thousand people to make a stereotype, only one to grind it into the dust.

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Offline LeeE

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« Reply #45 on: 21/04/2008 19:09:48 »
A systems programmer, a computer operator and a hardware engineer all apply for the same job vacancy and as part of the recruitment process they're given a test.  Each is given two perfect spheres, both about ten inches across, and they are then put in to a sealed room and told that they have an hour to come up with something using the the two spheres.

After an hour, the testers first look in on the systems programmer and see that he has one of the spheres precariously balanced upon the other.  The programmer is constantly flapping his hands around the upper sphere, wafting it back into wobbly balance.

In the next room the testers look in on the computer operator.  He's fast asleep, with his feet up on one sphere and his head resting on the other.

When they finally look in the third room there is just the hardware engineer - no sign at all of the two spheres.  "Well.." said the engineer "...sorry, but I lost one and broke the other"
...And its claws are as big as cups, and for some reason it's got a tremendous fear of stamps! And Mrs Doyle was telling me it's got magnets on its tail, so if you're made out of metal it can attach itself to you! And instead of a mouth it's got four arses!

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Offline Raven

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« Reply #46 on: 21/04/2008 19:47:11 »
01001110011011110111011100100000011101000110100001101001011100110010000001101001011100110010000001110000011001010111001001100110011001010110001101110 10000100000011001100110111101110010001000000110000100100000011101000110100001110010011001010110000101100100001000000110100101101110001000000110000100 10000001100110011011110111001001110101011011010010000001110100011010010111010001101100011001010110010000100000010001110110010101100101011010110010000 00101001101110000011001010110000101101011

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Offline i am bored

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« Reply #47 on: 22/04/2008 01:19:07 »
0111100101100101011000010110100000100000011010010010000001101011011011100110111101110111
if the pen is mightier than the sword then imagine how powerfull the printer is

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Offline DoctorBeaver

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« Reply #48 on: 22/04/2008 08:01:24 »
Nice 1, LeeE  [:D]
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Offline Nobody's Confidant

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« Reply #49 on: 22/04/2008 13:45:54 »
01001110011011110111011100100000011101000110100001101001011100110010000001101001011100110010000001110000011001010111001001100110011001010110001101110100001000000110011001101111011100100010000001100001001000000111010001101000011100100110010101100001011001000010000001101001011011100010000001100001001000000110011001101111011100100111010101101101001000000111010001101001011101000110110001100101011001000010000001000111011001010110010101101011001000000101001101110000011001010110000101101011
01001001011011100110010001100101011001010110010000100000011010010111010000100000011010010111001100101110
Nothing is absolute. It takes a thousand people to make a stereotype, only one to grind it into the dust.