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Look guys, I opened this strand as computer jokes. I think you should start a binary talk strand as I would really like to hear some good jokes. Nice to know I've started something for you lot but lets stick to the topic. I like the haiku though, think we should have a whole strand on them too.
Federal Bureaucrat Virus -- Divides your hard disk into hundreds oflittle units, each of which do practically nothing, but all ofwhich claim to be the most important part of the computer.Dan Quayle Virus -- Their is sumthing rong with your compueter, ewejust can't figyour out watt.Gallup Virus -- Sixty percent of the PC's infected will lose 38% oftheir data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 margin oferror)Paul Revere Virus -- revolutionary virus doesn't horse around. It warnsyou of impending hard disk attack 0 once if by LAN, twice if by C:Politically Correct Virus -- never calls itself a "virus", but insteadrefers to itself as an "electronic micro-organism."Right to life Virus -- Won't allow you to delete a file regardless of howold it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you firstsee a counselor about possible alternatives.Ross Perot Virus -- Activates every component in your system just beforethe whole thing quits.Mario Cuomo Virus -- It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.Oprah Winfry Virus -- Your 200 megabyte hard drive suddenly shrinks to80 Meg, then slowly expands back to 200 meg.AT&T Virus -- Every three minutes it tells you what great service yourgetting.MCI Virus -- Every three minutes it reminds you that you are paying toomuch for the AT&T Virus.Ted Turner Virus -- Colorizes your monochrome monitor.Arnold Schwarzennegger Virus -- Terminates and stays resident. It'll beback.Government Economist Virus -- Nothing works, but all your diagnosticsoftware says everything is fine.New World Order Virus -- Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of peoplereally mad just thinking about it.Terry Randle Virus -- Yells "Oh no you don't" whenever you choose"Abort" from the "Abort, Retry, Fail" message.Texas Virus -- Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.Adam and Eve Virus -- Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.Michael Jackson Virus -- Hard to identifiy because it is constantlyaltering its appearance. This virus won't harm your PC, but itwill trash your car.Congressional Virus -- The computer locks up, screen splits eraticallywith a message appearing on each half blaming the other side forthe problem.Airline Virus -- You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.Freudian Virus -- Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its ownmotherboard.PBS Virus -- Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.Elvis Virus -- Your computer gets fat, slow and lazy and then selfdestructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and servicestations across rural America.Ollie North Virus -- Turns your printer into a document shredder.Nike Virus -- Just Does It!Sears Virus -- Your data won't appear unless you buy new cables,power supply, and a set of shocks.Jimmy Hoffa Virus -- Nobody can find it.Congressional Virus -- Runs every program on the hard drivesimultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplishanything.Kevorkian Virus -- Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to.Imelda Marcos Virus -- Sings you a song (slightly off key) on boot upthen subtracts money from your Quicken account and spends it allon expensive shoes it purchases throught Prodigy.Star Trek Virus --Invades your system in places where no virus has gonebefore.Health Care Virus -- Test you system for a day, finds nothing wrong, andsends you a bill for $4,500.George Bush Virus -- It starts by boldly stating, "Read my test.... nonew files!" on the screen, proceeds to fill up all the free spaceon your hard drive with new files, then blames it on the CongressVirus.Cleveland Indians Virus -- Makes your 486/50 machine perform like a 286/AT.LAPD Virus -- It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PCand erases them in "self-defense."Chicago Cubs Virus -- Your PC makes frequent mistakes and comes in lastin the reviews, but you still love it.Sean Welch Virus -- Brags and brags about how good it is and yet even ifyou say you hate it, you really don't.Wanabe Virus -- Wants to be like Mike. Michelangelo Virus -- Paints a picture of the Mona Lisa on the screen thensays, "Voiala".