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The forum has it's own old farts, i wonder what they think?Jim, Eth, over to you.
Scientists have strapped plastic tanks to the backs of cows in order to collect their belches and study their methane levels. The scientists say that as much as 30% of Argentina's greenhouse gases could come from cows, and hope this study will find a way to cut down on emissions by changing the diet and lifestyle of the animals. The grass that cows eat is hard to digest and broken down by bacteria in the animal's four stomachs. With no oxygen, the bacteria turn into methane. Most gas comes from the front, not rear, ends of the cows.(phew!!!) The average dairy cow in the UK belches out about 100 to 200 litres of methane each day. Pardon you.
It's lewd, it's rude,It's awfully crudeEspecially fun whenYou're in the moodBrings a laugh whenYou're in the nudeFlapajack flapajackSpray spray spraySoft or silentBlasted any wayFart, guff, windypopNever to be doneIn a crowded shopBlow off, blow off,Fart fart fartRubacheek, rubacheekIt's an art art artUnderneath the bed sheetsBubbles in the bathOpen up the windowCuts oxygen by halfRubbery cheeks andStained underwearThere's a fart aroundBetter beware !Quality...it's a classic !!
Whilst it's heartening to know that farts have lost none of their comedic value over the years, this was originally posted as a bony fido enquiry - so, do you think this could ever come to our courts?
Mr Methane goes around the country performing his flatulent stage act.
So would his audience all be able to take him to court for farting in an aggressive way?
Some years back, GEC merged with Plessey Telecom to form GPT.Unfortunately, in France GPT is pronounced the same as J'ai pété which means "I farted"
... that way everyone would know who dealt it.
Lawyer"I put it to you that you deliberately, and with malice aforethought, farted with a view to offend or harass the plaintiff."Defendant"No, it's just that I had had beans for tea."That's just never going to be heard in any court.
Mine are like the silent shockers
Beans, beans, the musical fruit.The more your eat, the more you toot.The more you toot, the better you feel.So let's have beans at every meal!
Quote from: Bored chemist on 17/07/2008 19:23:35Lawyer"I put it to you that you deliberately, and with malice aforethought, farted with a view to offend or harass the plaintiff."Defendant"No, it's just that I had had beans for tea."That's just never going to be heard in any court.Q; are there really 57 varieties?