Tips for American visitors to the UK

  • 46 Replies
  • 11749 Views

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

*

Offline DoctorBeaver

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • 12656
  • A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« on: 30/07/2008 23:38:42 »
I know you have trouble with the pronounciation of some British place names, so here's a little guide for you.

Leicester - pronounced Lester (not Lie-cester)
Bicester - Bister
Towcester - Toaster
Leominster - Lemster
Edinburgh - Edinburrer (Not Edin-burrow)
Birmingham - Birmingum (not Burr-ming-ham!)
If you are speaking to someone who is wearing a football shirt, England should be pronounced "Ingerland"

And now some general information to help you find your way around.

England is not the capital of France.
Wales is a country, not a cetacean institute. Avoid Wales at all costs as the place names are unpronouncable unless you have a bad case of catarrh.
In the UK a greyhound is a breed of dog, not a means of transport.

And some tips that will help your visit go more smoothly.

Checked trousers are worn only on golf courses, not while shopping in Oxford Street.
Yorkshire should not be referred to as "a quaint little ranch".
We don't care if your portions are bigger. That just proves you're all fat & greedy.
Never ask a Scotsman what a "Glasgae kiss" is.
Ireland is NOT next to Iraq. Countries are not arranged alphabetically.

Finally...

Show a little humility. Remember, many buildings in the UK were erected while Americans were still trying to work out how to start a fire.
« Last Edit: 30/07/2008 23:42:01 by DoctorBeaver »
Fledgling science site at http://www.sciencefile.org/SF/content/view/54/98/ needs members and original articles. If you can help, please join.

*

Offline JimBob

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • 6564
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #1 on: 31/07/2008 01:25:50 »
This is why he English are considered "eccentric." 

Compound ellipsoid eccentric with another parabola thrown in for good measure - i.e., tragically and terminally balmy, braking mad, MENTALLY ILL!   
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

*

Offline that mad man

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • 724
    • View Profile
    • My music
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #2 on: 31/07/2008 01:30:21 »
One you missed, wor-cester-shire-sauce.

I love it when they pronounce that one.

*

Offline DoctorBeaver

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • 12656
  • A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #3 on: 31/07/2008 08:06:12 »
One you missed, wor-cester-shire-sauce.

I love it when they pronounce that one.

Indeed I did miss it. My apologies.
Fledgling science site at http://www.sciencefile.org/SF/content/view/54/98/ needs members and original articles. If you can help, please join.

*

Offline DoctorBeaver

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • 12656
  • A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #4 on: 31/07/2008 08:06:57 »
This is why he English are considered "eccentric." 

Compound ellipsoid eccentric with another parabola thrown in for good measure - i.e., tragically and terminally balmy, braking mad, MENTALLY ILL!   

Count the errors. Do you need an abacus?
Fledgling science site at http://www.sciencefile.org/SF/content/view/54/98/ needs members and original articles. If you can help, please join.

*

Offline rosalind dna

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 2019
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #5 on: 31/07/2008 12:56:38 »
Worcestershire sauce can also be called Lea & Perrins as that's the company, who make.

Another Scottish town is Stirling and it's pronounced the same as
the UK's currency =  Stirling

Sterling as in currency also we don't have the Euro yet.
That can only used on mainland Europe.

Do ask a police officer, if you can find one LOL

Edinburgh is the capital of Scotland a country in it's own right.

Cardiff is the capital of Wales both have independent governments.
Rosalind Franklin was my first cousin and one my life's main regrets is that I never met this brilliant and beautiful lady.
She discovered the Single DNA Helix in 1953, then it was taken by Wilkins without her knowledge or agreeement.

*

Offline Bored chemist

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8855
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #6 on: 31/07/2008 19:15:18 »
There is no such thing as a British accent

(At least, not when speaking English- there might be if we brits are speaking French or whatever)
On a slightly broader scale than visiting the UK;
Please try to remember when discussing democracy that about 95% of the world's population are not American. Also, most people who live in democracies are not American.

Also, you cannot "Do Europe" properly in less than a few years. A couple of days in London, Paris, and Berlin isn't a true introduction to the place, nevermind a full education.
Please disregard all previous signatures.

*

Offline RD

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8185
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #7 on: 31/07/2008 19:28:37 »
Some Scottish shopkeepers will ask "do you want a poke ?": this means "do you want a bag" for your purchase.
« Last Edit: 31/07/2008 19:33:31 by RD »

*

Offline Make it Lady

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 4050
  • Hands-on fun for everyone!
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #8 on: 31/07/2008 21:56:21 »
If he asks for a winch, don't say yes. He doesn't want to put a picnic hamper up in a tree house. He wants to kiss you!

I fancy a nice poke though. I recycle them.
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

*

Offline rosalind dna

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 2019
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #9 on: 31/07/2008 22:24:10 »
Also when reading the British English it's the modern version of spelling not the phonetic/old-fashioned version in the US.

South West England are where the most floods happen and it's near to Wales, so take your wellies. LOL
Rosalind Franklin was my first cousin and one my life's main regrets is that I never met this brilliant and beautiful lady.
She discovered the Single DNA Helix in 1953, then it was taken by Wilkins without her knowledge or agreeement.

*

Offline turnipsock

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • 586
  • Beekeeper to the unsuspecting
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #10 on: 31/07/2008 22:25:04 »
You can only buy rubbers at stationary shops.

If you have to park on a red line in London, you must put your hazzard warning lights on.



Beeswax: Natures petrol tank sealant.

When things are in 3D, is it always the same three dimensions?

*

Offline RD

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8185
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #11 on: 01/08/2008 02:23:06 »
Here is a picture to remind you of home...

[attachment=4019]


source

*

Offline JimBob

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • 6564
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #12 on: 01/08/2008 02:36:19 »
THAT reminds me of tyranny!
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

*

Offline Make it Lady

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 4050
  • Hands-on fun for everyone!
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #13 on: 01/08/2008 22:36:30 »
It reminds me of Trinny!
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

*

Offline DoctorBeaver

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • 12656
  • A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #14 on: 01/08/2008 23:31:26 »
It reminds me of Trinny!

A man in women's clothes?  [???]
Fledgling science site at http://www.sciencefile.org/SF/content/view/54/98/ needs members and original articles. If you can help, please join.

*

Offline RD

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8185
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #15 on: 02/08/2008 05:02:31 »
The male version of Trinny looks like a young Ian Ogilvy.

[attachment=4021]

http://morph.cs.st-andrews.ac.uk/
« Last Edit: 02/08/2008 05:05:55 by RD »

*

Offline DoctorBeaver

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • 12656
  • A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #16 on: 02/08/2008 07:41:41 »
Number 2 looks like JimBob on a Saturday evening  [;D]
Fledgling science site at http://www.sciencefile.org/SF/content/view/54/98/ needs members and original articles. If you can help, please join.

*

Offline RD

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8185
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #17 on: 02/08/2008 11:43:28 »
Number 2 (old version of Trinny) reminded me of the Harry Potter author, (sorry JK).
« Last Edit: 02/08/2008 11:45:09 by RD »

*

Offline Karen W.

  • Moderator
  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *****
  • 31662
  • "come fly with me"
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #18 on: 02/08/2008 11:50:15 »
WOW thats pretty good one.. better then most of the morphs I have seen!

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

*

Offline RD

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8185
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #19 on: 02/08/2008 12:35:44 »
WOW thats pretty good one.. better then most of the morphs I have seen!

You may be more impressed by this one...

[attachment=4025]


[If you don't like it feel free to delete this post]

*

Offline Karen W.

  • Moderator
  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *****
  • 31662
  • "come fly with me"
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #20 on: 02/08/2008 12:38:49 »


WOW thats pretty good one.. better then most of the morphs I have seen!

You may be more impressed by this one...

[attachment=4025]


[If you don't like it feel free to delete this post]


lol... LOL.. Thats an old piccy... where did you find it... LOL!

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

*

Offline Karen W.

  • Moderator
  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *****
  • 31662
  • "come fly with me"
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #21 on: 02/08/2008 12:43:40 »
Oh Know one of my Zeta piccys.. LOL

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

*

Offline Karen W.

  • Moderator
  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *****
  • 31662
  • "come fly with me"
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #22 on: 02/08/2008 12:49:28 »
I think the first one is scary looks like Mona Lisa, then the second like the girl, Kate Winsolot.. and the last are looking rather manly instead of feminine... HUMMMM  LOL

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

*

Offline RD

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8185
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #23 on: 02/08/2008 13:20:30 »
"Scary Mona Lisa" is supposed to be in the style of Botticelli, a contemporary of Leonardo da Vinci (who painted the Mona lisa).

"Kate Winslet" is supposed to be in the style of Mucha.

Far right is Afro-Caribbean version. Second right is masculine version.
« Last Edit: 02/08/2008 13:23:20 by RD »

*

Offline Karen W.

  • Moderator
  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *****
  • 31662
  • "come fly with me"
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #24 on: 02/08/2008 13:37:39 »
Very cool RD!

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

*

Offline chris

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 5424
  • The Naked Scientist
    • View Profile
    • The Naked Scientists
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #25 on: 02/08/2008 13:44:27 »
The monkey pictures of dear old GW reminded me that I've received a bit of hate mail following my comment on a recent show that "scientists have seen one of the smallest things in the universe...other than George Bush's brain...the hydrogen atom"

Got a few people hot under the collar that one. One person even said he'd be getting his education and entertainment elsewhere from now on.

And much as it pained me to say it, I had to point out that his self-imposed deprivation probably will be hurting him more than me...

But seriously, where has the sense of humour gone these days; are we destined to live in a world so politically correct and straight-laced that you can no longer have a joke at anyone's expense? If so I want no part of it.

Chris
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception - Groucho Marx

*

Offline Karen W.

  • Moderator
  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *****
  • 31662
  • "come fly with me"
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #26 on: 02/08/2008 13:52:52 »
I am in the same boat with my Daughter.. she gets real mad as I really do not like George bushes politics!!! I agree with your statement as a joke.. but I may feel more like it lies closer to the truth really!

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

*

Offline RD

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 8185
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #27 on: 02/08/2008 13:56:30 »
Quote
President Bush invigorated proponents of teaching alternatives to evolution in public schools with remarks saying that schoolchildren should be taught about "intelligent design," a view of creation that challenges established scientific thinking and promotes the idea that an unseen force is behind the development of humanity.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/08/02/AR2005080201686.html

If Dubya sincerely believes in "intelligent design", then the comments about the contents of his skull are well founded.

*

Offline Karen W.

  • Moderator
  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *****
  • 31662
  • "come fly with me"
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #28 on: 02/08/2008 14:12:16 »
LOL.. LOL!

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

*

Offline JimBob

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • 6564
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #29 on: 02/08/2008 15:46:02 »
Number 2 looks like JimBob on a Saturday evening  [;D]

Can't you remember ANYTHING? Our tranny night is FRIDAY night, not Saturday - and we've been doing this for years! Lord have mercy!
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

*

Offline DoctorBeaver

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • 12656
  • A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #30 on: 02/08/2008 17:11:13 »
Chris - oh what a shame. If they don't want people to think of George Dubya as a total fool then they should stop him opening his mouth!
Fledgling science site at http://www.sciencefile.org/SF/content/view/54/98/ needs members and original articles. If you can help, please join.

*

Offline Karen W.

  • Moderator
  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *****
  • 31662
  • "come fly with me"
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #31 on: 02/08/2008 18:57:42 »
Here Here!!! YAYYYYYY!

"Life is not measured by the number of Breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

*

paul.fr

  • Guest
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #32 on: 02/08/2008 19:24:47 »
But seriously, where has the sense of humour gone these days; are we destined to live in a world so politically correct and straight-laced that you can no longer have a joke at anyone's expense? If so I want no part of it.

Yes, we are. On the other hand, I prefer that to the so called humour exhibited by the Beaver.

*

Offline DoctorBeaver

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • 12656
  • A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #33 on: 02/08/2008 19:44:48 »
But seriously, where has the sense of humour gone these days; are we destined to live in a world so politically correct and straight-laced that you can no longer have a joke at anyone's expense? If so I want no part of it.

Yes, we are. On the other hand, I prefer that to the so called humour exhibited by the Beaver.

OI!  [:(!]
Fledgling science site at http://www.sciencefile.org/SF/content/view/54/98/ needs members and original articles. If you can help, please join.

*

Offline Make it Lady

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 4050
  • Hands-on fun for everyone!
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #34 on: 02/08/2008 20:51:06 »
Cover your ears Beaver, the man has no taste.
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

*

Offline DoctorBeaver

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • 12656
  • A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #35 on: 02/08/2008 22:23:39 »
Cover your ears Beaver, the man has no taste.

OK, human.
Fledgling science site at http://www.sciencefile.org/SF/content/view/54/98/ needs members and original articles. If you can help, please join.

*

Offline JimBob

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • 6564
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #36 on: 03/08/2008 01:46:38 »
Cover your ears Beaver, the man has no taste.

Where have you had your mouth, woman? And what were you doing?

(By the way, Paul, was she any good?)
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

*

Offline artemisbow

  • First timers
  • *
  • 1
  • One Race=>HUMAN :-)
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #37 on: 03/08/2008 17:37:08 »
Chris

when i heard you say the joke, i nearly spit out my coffee in laughter, as Brits would say "Spot On!" 'Brilliant!"  i laughed so loud. many many Americans, and not just those of us on the coastlines, cant wait for the day for him to leave office, never voted him in, and so so embarrassed by him. but i suppose a country cant always have great leaders sometimes it has to have a few %$#% teaches one some humility you know.

well here's hoping for a change and better government [is that an oxymoron?]
One Race=>HUMAN :-)
remember Half the world lives in night

*

Offline JimBob

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • 6564
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #38 on: 03/08/2008 18:59:43 »
Considering Tony Brown, I would say oxymoron - and I NEVER voted for Bush and would never consider it.
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

*

Offline JimBob

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • 6564
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #39 on: 03/08/2008 19:06:02 »
Paul and Make it Lady:

Answer the question please.

The reporters from the National Inquirer and the Sun won't stop calling, I am about to give them the contact information for both of you - or just make up the answers myself. As I'll be getting paid, I'll need to REALLY earn my money ...
 [;)] [;)]
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

*

paul.fr

  • Guest
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #40 on: 04/08/2008 00:03:56 »
Ok, Ok, put it this way; I would reccomend her to a friend...if I had one.

*

Offline DoctorBeaver

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • 12656
  • A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #41 on: 04/08/2008 08:03:25 »
Chris

when i heard you say the joke, i nearly spit out my coffee in laughter, as Brits would say "Spot On!" 'Brilliant!"  i laughed so loud. many many Americans, and not just those of us on the coastlines, cant wait for the day for him to leave office, never voted him in, and so so embarrassed by him. but i suppose a country cant always have great leaders sometimes it has to have a few %$#% teaches one some humility you know.

well here's hoping for a change and better government [is that an oxymoron?]

Sometimes you know what you are going to get. Sometimes you don't know what you are going to get. Sometimes you know that you don't know what you're going to get, and sometimes you don't know that you don't know what you are going to get, or not.  [:D]
Fledgling science site at http://www.sciencefile.org/SF/content/view/54/98/ needs members and original articles. If you can help, please join.

*

Offline Make it Lady

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 4050
  • Hands-on fun for everyone!
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #42 on: 04/08/2008 17:33:21 »
A Lady never tells.
Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day, set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life.

*

Offline JimBob

  • Global Moderator
  • Neilep Level Member
  • *****
  • 6564
  • Moderator
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #43 on: 05/08/2008 01:46:54 »
A Lady never tells.

Where ever did you get the idea you were a lady? That idea defies all known logic!
The mind is like a parachute. It works best when open.  -- A. Einstein

*

Offline TheHerbaholic

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • 67
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #44 on: 05/08/2008 07:32:25 »
The monkey pictures of dear old GW reminded me that I've received a bit of hate mail following my comment on a recent show that "scientists have seen one of the smallest things in the universe...other than George Bush's brain...the hydrogen atom"

Got a few people hot under the collar that one. One person even said he'd be getting his education and entertainment elsewhere from now on.

And much as it pained me to say it, I had to point out that his self-imposed deprivation probably will be hurting him more than me...

But seriously, where has the sense of humour gone these days; are we destined to live in a world so politically correct and straight-laced that you can no longer have a joke at anyone's expense? If so I want no part of it.

Chris

I actually remember you saying that, I was running down the road with my mp3 player and I remember it messing up my breathing because it made me laugh.

We live in an age were you cant call a black board a black board, its now called a chalk board. Politics goes so deep that politicians confuse themselves these days. Its like children making jokes in school. Say for example one child leaves a butty on the table. The butty is right next to a fat child. Another child sees the butty by the fat child an says 'DONT LEAVE IT THERE FATBOY MIGHT NOT RESIST HIS EURGE 2 MUNCH IT'. I, at my age of 20 would laugh at that situation.

But it does come to a time, when that boy being fat, has taken enough abuse, it may come to a select few who persist with the name calling, and then it turns into bullying. Situations like this teaches children to know to stop when you hurt somebodys feelings. It also toughens up the ones on the receiving end.

If you're fat you're fat, black you're black, Chinese you're Chinese, American you're stupid.

What I'm trying to point out here, is that harmless, insulting, funny jokes are just that, funny.

You did well to plug a politically incorrect joke on your show, I mean where would Jeremy Clarkson be today if he just focused on cars and facts and didn't have a personality.

Props to Chris.

Also Chris and Kat do say some funny things to eachother that makes me mess up my breathing when I'm running.

*

Offline DoctorBeaver

  • Naked Science Forum GOD!
  • *******
  • 12656
  • A stitch in time would have confused Einstein.
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #45 on: 05/08/2008 09:29:04 »
I chuckled when Kat (I think) was given an email to read from someone called Doctor Beaver. She did the radio equivalent of a double-take  [:D]
Fledgling science site at http://www.sciencefile.org/SF/content/view/54/98/ needs members and original articles. If you can help, please join.

*

Offline rosalind dna

  • Neilep Level Member
  • ******
  • 2019
    • View Profile
Tips for American visitors to the UK
« Reply #46 on: 05/08/2008 11:49:33 »
Leave your umbrellas behind in the rain but do take your swimming gear
along with your favourite, best clothes.
Rosalind Franklin was my first cousin and one my life's main regrets is that I never met this brilliant and beautiful lady.
She discovered the Single DNA Helix in 1953, then it was taken by Wilkins without her knowledge or agreeement.