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16/03/2009 22:44:06 »
Chivalry: how serious should we men have to take it? Chivalrous behavior is annoying to me and it makes me think too much.
Earlier today I picked up my mother from work and we were in an elevator. Inside the elevator, besides my mother and I was another woman- from the looks of it she was in her late fifties. I was the closest to the elevator door when it opened and, therefor, took it upon myself to exit the elevator first. My mother lambasted me, telling that it is rude for a man to exit an elevator before two "ladies."
What is everyone's opinion on this?
Reply #1 on:
16/03/2009 23:04:29 »
You're always going to get it wrong - whichever way you do it someone will say you should have done it another way.
There is a story that in some parts of the Middle East it was customary for a wife to walk some twenty paces behind her husband. One day a tourist saw a wife walking way ahead of the husband.
"a change of custom?"
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Reply #2 on:
16/03/2009 23:14:15 »
I think chivalry is dead among younger people. Younger and more modern women neither expect it or understand it and indeed may be offended by it as chivalry is incompatible with the fact that women are now accepted as the equals of men. Chivalry has now been largely replaced by courtesy. If I saw a heavily pregnant woman on a train then of course I would offer her my seat if no others were available but this would not be out of chivalry but common courtesy and her gender would be incidental.
My Aunty Dot is of the generation that expects a man to open a door for her. Because she appreciates that sort of thing then members of our family comply, although it is largely out of respect for her seniority rather than her gender. When all the Aunty Dots have finally died there will be no recipients for chivalry left and it will disappear forever.
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Reply #3 on:
17/03/2009 00:30:18 »
I agree with John. I consider myself a gentleman with good manners and who is courteous. I would not say I'm chivalrous. That has connotations of rescuing damsels in distress and fighting dragons.
I do, though, find that good manners and courtesy are appreciated by women of all ages. I took a teenage girl for a meal a while ago (it was perfectly innocent) and did the usual courteous things like opening doors for her, pulling her seat back from the table, etc. At the end of the evening she said it had been really nice to have been out with someone who treated her like that and showed her respect as lads of her own age don't give a damn about those sort of things.
But even if my courteous actions were not appreciated, I would still feel good in myself knowing I had behaved properly and in the manner I had been raised.
Reply #4 on:
17/03/2009 12:34:21 »
Chivalry is not meant to be about light matters like leaving the lift after the ladies. It is more about keeping the women safe at home, while you go abroad to fight the threat, the enemy. Then return to find her waiting and ready for marriage to go on.
Nowadays, we see the woman go off to war in the army with the men...
I think some women need chivalry, others are tom boys...
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Reply #5 on:
17/03/2009 12:35:03 »
When women's lib really took off and the 'burn your bra' brigade came out in force, I once stood up on a packed train to offer my seat to a woman. She called me a chauvinist. Needless to say, I sat back in the seat and watched the old bat in her discomfort throughout the 45 min journey. I think there is a minority of women who still think all men are chauvinists, but most still appreciate a little chivalry.
Holding a door open for someone, man or woman, is just common courtesy.
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Reply #6 on:
17/03/2009 18:27:37 »
I am a modern woman who likes both.... I think that it works both ways like same for a woman..
I he chooses to show chivalry for her that it is simply a sign of respect and sweetness! I however as a woman give the same respect back by politely offering a nice thank you as well as returning the kindness if I can through curteous polite conversation and or the same curtesy offered back if the opportunity presents itself.
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