[John Chapman (OP)]

We live in times of excess and gluttony, eating far more calories than is healthy for us. That being the case, would a tapeworm really do any real harm? In fact, could I market tapeworms as a safe diet aid?

Any takers?

[Ethos]

We live in times of excess and gluttony, eating far more calories than is healthy for us. That being the case, would a tapeworm really do any real harm? In fact, could I market tapeworms as a safe diet aid?

I have a couple dozen for sale, you interested?

[John Chapman (OP)]

Are they used? Do I need a pair of extra long forceps to retrieve them?

[Chemistry4me]

Eww... [xx(]

Interesting idea though. []

[Ethos]

Are they used? Do I need a pair of extra long forceps to retrieve them?

Actually, I keep them in my frig.....no need for forceps.

[Karen W.]

Double yuck and No Thank you!

[John Chapman (OP)]

Actually, I keep them in my fridge.....

No, no, no, no, no!

Ethos, how many time have I got to tell you? Those white round things you put in the fridge a dozen at a time are called eggs.  EGGS!  Tapeworms are the things you pull out of your bum. It's very simple.

Get this right and next week I'll teach you the difference between 'penis' and 'puppy' and which one it's OK to stroke in public.
 
 

[Chemistry4me]

[RD]

... would a tapeworm really do any real harm?

Tapeworms can obstruct the bowel ...

Taenia saginata infection is caused by the bovine tapeworm and can be the cause of emergency surgical conditions. We report one case of small bowel obstruction leading to necrosis and another case of large bowel obstruction and volvulus due to an impacted tapeworm.

http://linkinghub.elsevier.com/retrieve/pii/S0035920306002343

... could I market tapeworms as a safe diet aid?

If your customers disposed of their faeces in the conventional manner they could contaminate the water supply.
This would soon put you out of business as market saturation would ensue: (everyone would have one).

[Bored chemist]

"could I market tapeworms as a safe diet aid?"
I has been done before (for a given deffinition of "safe").
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/vanities/tapeworm.asp

[Variola]

We live in times of excess and gluttony, eating far more calories than is healthy for us. That being the case, would a tapeworm really do any real harm? In fact, could I market tapeworms as a safe diet aid?

Any takers?

Ugh!  [B)] Well it might be beneficial to those allergy sufferes with high IgE disposition.

However I think your idea has merit, but instead of ingesting the worms, sprinkle mature worms liberally over high fat foods, that would put off even the most ardent sat fat fan, such as myself.  []

[Ethos]

Tapeworms are the things you pull out of your bum. It's very simple.

I'll assume you're speaking from the voice of experience JC, because frankly, I have never extricated any from my posterior. And to the contrary, such an operation could not be so simple a task considering the angle at which this maneuver must surely be handled. Right?

[Chemistry4me]

Is shouldn't be too difficult.

[Ethos]

Is shouldn't be too difficult.

Alright, gang up on me will you guys. It just ain't fair I say, it just ain't fair. But neither is life and we're stuck with it for the duration. So there, have some fun while it lasts............Ethos

[Chemistry4me]

Yeah! Let's have some fun. []

[John Chapman (OP)]

I have never extricated any from my posterior. And to the contrary, such an operation could not be so simple a task considering the angle at which this maneuver must surely be handled. Right?

I do it all the time. That's how I did my back in. And then I tie the ends together and use them as elastic bands. Sometimes I hide them in your fridge and tell you they're eggs!
 

[Ethos]

 Sometimes I hide them in your fridge and tell you they're eggs!
 

Please stay out of my fridge, I keep hazardous material in there!

[John Chapman (OP)]

What! You mean my wife does your cooking too?

[John Chapman (OP)]

Ted Bundy kept body parts in his. That was certainly hazardous to his victims. So, (hoping I don't regret the answer) what do you keep in your fridge?
 

[neilep]

We live in times of excess and gluttony, eating far more calories than is healthy for us. That being the case, would a tapeworm really do any real harm? In fact, could I market tapeworms as a safe diet aid?

Any takers?

As a firm believer in empirical study I snuck into my neighbours house at 3am this morning and taped a hundred worms to him. His bound-and-gagged lack of protest confirmed his willing and joy to be able to assist in this worthwhile experiment.

Before the attachment of the worms he was 144lbs....with the worms attached he was 150lbs !.....I think there must be a problem here !!