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Come on L-Kira, this thread is supposed to be fun and light hearted. It's not a competition so please don't take things personally.
Quote from: John Chapman on 29/04/2010 22:24:47Come on L-Kira, this thread is supposed to be fun and light hearted. It's not a competition so please don't take things personally. Quite right. L-Kira needs to cool the jets.
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You know what they say....."hell hath no fury like a woman's scones".
Is it my wife's cooking? Her baking is the worst!
That's a good one. Did you make it up ....?
the more you take the more you leave behind?? 
Is it footsteps?
Two mothers and two daughters go to McDonalds and buy one hamburger for each of them. The cashier hands them THREE hamburgers and they all leave eating a separate burger. How is this possible?
What kind of coat can only be put on when wet?ANDWhat can go up a chimney down but not down a chimney up?
2nd one is stairs (omid very sure about this cz omid've already posted that) 
2nd one is umbrella.
http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=31362 [Links inactive - To make links active and clickable, login or click here to register](Gasp from the audience)
Wahay! That's fantastic! And http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=26729 [Links inactive - To make links active and clickable, login or click here to register]sound was me beating Omid:http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=26729 [Links inactive - To make links active and clickable, login or click here to register]
[:-'(] [:-'(] [:-'(]*Sniff sniff* [:-'(] [:-'(] [:-'(]so silly of omid, omid ACTUALLY've posted this riddle but still gave you the wrong answer [:-'(] [:-'(] [:-'(]*sniff sniff* [:-'(] [:-'(] [:-'(]
Ahhh. Don't worry, you're still the Queen of Puzzles.And I don't know the answer to your last puzzle. Could it be something to do with smell and light? So for instance he bought perfume and a light bulb?
That's a whole different question.
Light and airSally is blind, and was reading a braille book.
Ahh. Not if you're my Grandad, it doesn't.He choked on an apple and died.That's a true story. He was in hospital at the time and was suffering from mental illness. He tried to stuff all his food in his mouth at the same time and choked. [xx(]His father also suffered from mental illness and so did his son, my father, all around their mid-life period. Worryingly, I'm now 46. You will let me know if I ever say anything strange, won't you. Penguin.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
They have a third sibling; they are triplets.
Well done Omid, Queen of Puzzles. This one seems to have got us all stumped. I'm trying to think of a single food that can fulfil all those functions. Any chance of a clue? [)]
What about a gourd or melon of some sort. You can squeeze for juice to drink, eat the flesh, plant the seed and animals will eat the hard rind that we cannot
She starts walking across the bridge immediately after the guard goes back in his bunker. She walks towards Switzerland for 2.5 minutes, then turns around and starts walking back to Germany. The guard then sends her to Switzerland because she has no papers.Next.
A sandstorm? 
She fell into the room.