who can answer this one?

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Offline Geezer

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Re: who can answer this one?
« Reply #1150 on: 16/05/2010 21:15:57 »
Houses can't (usually) jump.
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force æther.

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Offline John Chapman

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Re: who can answer this one?
« Reply #1151 on: 16/05/2010 22:00:58 »
Oh, that's a clever bit of lateral thinking  [:)]
 

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Offline omid

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Re: who can answer this one?
« Reply #1152 on: 17/05/2010 11:06:49 »
Houses can't (usually) jump.

Thank you Geezer [;D]

Two bankrobbers rob the local bank. They then hop in their car and scurry off to their hideout 20 miles away. When they get there they realize that one of their tires had been completely flat the whole time.
How did they get to their hideout without noticing? [;)]

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Offline John Chapman

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Re: who can answer this one?
« Reply #1153 on: 17/05/2010 11:46:03 »
It was their spare?  [:-\]
 

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Offline SeanB

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Re: who can answer this one?
« Reply #1154 on: 17/05/2010 19:31:49 »
It was the right rear wheel, and they did not notice it because they were both on the left side of the car ( in the USA at least). They also did only right turns till they reached the hideout so the flat wheel never had to bear load.

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Offline omid

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Re: who can answer this one?
« Reply #1155 on: 18/05/2010 10:26:39 »
It was their spare?  [:-\]
 

Well Done John!!!!!!!!! [;D]

I am as cold as death, but ever breathing.
Never thirsty, but ever drinking.
Covered in mail, but never clinking.
What am I? [;)]

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Offline Laura_Kelly

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Re: who can answer this one?
« Reply #1156 on: 19/05/2010 09:23:53 »
A fish!!! [;D]

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Offline omid

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Re: who can answer this one?
« Reply #1157 on: 19/05/2010 10:29:07 »
A fish!!! [;D]

Thank you Laura [:)]

John Chapman has a clothing store in Ireland and he has devised his own method of pricing items. A vest costs £20, socks cost £25, a tie costs £15 and a blouse costs £30. Using the method, how much would a pair of underwear cost? [;)]
« Last Edit: 19/05/2010 10:30:54 by omid »

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Offline BenV

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Re: who can answer this one?
« Reply #1158 on: 19/05/2010 13:58:08 »
Well, pants would cost £25, as would a thong.  A g-string would probably cost £35, but lingerie would be £40.  Boxer shorts would be a ridiculous £55!

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Offline John Chapman

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Re: who can answer this one?
« Reply #1159 on: 20/05/2010 07:23:46 »
Well, Omid forgot to mention that my clothing shop caters for rather specialist tastes. Ben bought my Rubber Boxer Shorts, so I managed to get away with charging him £85.  [:o]
 

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Offline omid

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Re: who can answer this one?
« Reply #1160 on: 20/05/2010 10:10:03 »
Well, pants would cost £25, as would a thong.  A g-string would probably cost £35, but lingerie would be £40.  Boxer shorts would be a ridiculous £55!

Thank You Ben [:)]

If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"? [;)]

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Offline John Chapman

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Re: who can answer this one?
« Reply #1161 on: 21/05/2010 08:03:12 »
There is no letter 'a' to be found in the word 'numbers'.  [:-\]
 

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Offline BenV

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Re: who can answer this one?
« Reply #1162 on: 21/05/2010 08:09:33 »
Well, Omid forgot to mention that my clothing shop caters for rather specialist tastes. Ben bought my Rubber Boxer Shorts, so I managed to get away with charging him £85.  [:o]
 
So much for discretion and customer confidentiality!

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Offline omid

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Re: who can answer this one?
« Reply #1163 on: 21/05/2010 18:13:55 »
There is no letter 'a' to be found in the word 'numbers'.  [:-\]
 

C'mon John, its not that hard [::)]

omid is just giving little exercise to your mouth[;)]

so plz omid very sure you can do it [8)]

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Offline imatfaal

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« Reply #1164 on: 21/05/2010 18:34:18 »
A hundred and one
There’s no sense in being precise when you don’t even know what you’re talking about.  John Von Neumann

At the surface, we may appear as intellects, helpful people, friendly staff or protectors of the interwebs. Deep down inside, we're all trolls. CaptainPanic @ sf.n

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Offline omid

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« Reply #1165 on: 21/05/2010 20:26:09 »
A hundred and one

sorry Imatfaal but omid means a NUMBER [::)]

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Offline imatfaal

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« Reply #1166 on: 21/05/2010 21:15:17 »
1000? 
There’s no sense in being precise when you don’t even know what you’re talking about.  John Von Neumann

At the surface, we may appear as intellects, helpful people, friendly staff or protectors of the interwebs. Deep down inside, we're all trolls. CaptainPanic @ sf.n

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Offline omid

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« Reply #1167 on: 22/05/2010 11:02:09 »
1000? 

Thank You Imatfaal [:)]

To what question can you never answer "yes"? [;)]

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Offline John Chapman

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« Reply #1168 on: 22/05/2010 21:08:04 »

To what question can you never answer "yes"? [;)]


Can John Chapman sometimes be a little bit irritating? Perhaps? Just a smidging?
 

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #1169 on: 23/05/2010 01:59:08 »
Oooo! Ooooo! Please, please Miss! I have a special one for "Chapman the biodiesel".

"Which English word is not in the English dictionary?"
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force æther.

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Offline SeanB

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Re: who can answer this one?
« Reply #1170 on: 23/05/2010 13:01:30 »
Well, Omid forgot to mention that my clothing shop caters for rather specialist tastes. Ben bought my Rubber Boxer Shorts, so I managed to get away with charging him £85.  [:o]
 

45 pounds

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Offline John Chapman

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« Reply #1171 on: 23/05/2010 18:51:20 »
I have a special one for "Chapman the biodiesel".

"Which English word is not in the English dictionary?"

At first I thought it might be 'biodiesel' and it's not included in the Oxford English. But it is in the Cambridge Online. So now I'm stumped.

By the way, I have been addressed as 'John the Bio' by a few people at work. I keep trying to establish the nickname 'John the highly intelligent and quite good looking as well' but for some reason it hasn't stuck. Actually, I'm addressed in a whole variety of ways but 'John the Bio' is one of the few that's fit to print!

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Offline John Chapman

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« Reply #1172 on: 23/05/2010 18:54:13 »
Well, Omid forgot to mention that my clothing shop caters for rather specialist tastes. Ben bought my Rubber Boxer Shorts, so I managed to get away with charging him £85.  [:o]
 

45 pounds

Hi Sean

It's a fiver for each letter that's used to spell it. 17 letters, so 85 smackeroonies.
 

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Offline Geezer

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« Reply #1173 on: 23/05/2010 20:31:26 »
I have a special one for "Chapman the biodiesel".

"Which English word is not in the English dictionary?"

At first I thought it might be 'biodiesel' and it's not included in the Oxford English. But it is in the Cambridge Online. So now I'm stumped.

By the way, I have been addressed as 'John the Bio' by a few people at work. I keep trying to establish the nickname 'John the highly intelligent and quite good looking as well' but for some reason it hasn't stuck. Actually, I'm addressed in a whole variety of ways but 'John the Bio' is one of the few that's fit to print!

Ah! "John the bio" is pretty good! We should probably explain that in Wales (where just about everybody seems to be called Jones, it is customary to append an occupation handle as in "Jones the post".

The word I had in mind was "gullible".

(He said, quickly retreating into his underground bunker.)
There ain'ta no sanity clause, and there ain'ta no centrifugal force æther.

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Offline John Chapman

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« Reply #1174 on: 24/05/2010 00:32:36 »

The word I had in mind was "gullible".

(He said, quickly retreating into his underground bunker.)


Tosser. Of the caber, I mean.   [:)]
 
« Last Edit: 24/05/2010 07:34:12 by John Chapman »

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Offline omid

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« Reply #1175 on: 24/05/2010 17:26:17 »
The word I had in mind was "gullible".

Sorry, omid this one [:-'(]

I can be short and sometimes hot.
When displayed, I rarely impress.
What am I? [;)]

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Offline imatfaal

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« Reply #1176 on: 24/05/2010 17:36:55 »
The word I had in mind was "gullible".

Sorry, omid this one [:-'(]

I can be short and sometimes hot.
When displayed, I rarely impress.
What am I? [;)]

/CENSORED Finbar Saunders moment /

My temper
There’s no sense in being precise when you don’t even know what you’re talking about.  John Von Neumann

At the surface, we may appear as intellects, helpful people, friendly staff or protectors of the interwebs. Deep down inside, we're all trolls. CaptainPanic @ sf.n

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Offline omid

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« Reply #1177 on: 24/05/2010 17:39:10 »
My temper

Thank You Imatfaal [;D]

What's so peculiar about this sentence?

I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing handwriting; nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality, counterbalancing indecipherability, transcendentalizes intercommunications' incomprehensibleness. [;)]

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Offline imatfaal

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« Reply #1178 on: 24/05/2010 18:02:51 »
I think this problem is overintellectualizing
There’s no sense in being precise when you don’t even know what you’re talking about.  John Von Neumann

At the surface, we may appear as intellects, helpful people, friendly staff or protectors of the interwebs. Deep down inside, we're all trolls. CaptainPanic @ sf.n

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Offline omid

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« Reply #1179 on: 24/05/2010 18:12:53 »
I think this problem is overintellectualizing

Well Done Imatfaal, omid impressed [;D]

What's so special about the following sentence?

A big cuddly dog emitted fierce growls, happily ignoring joyful kids licking minute nuts on pretty queer rotten smelly toadstools underneath vampires who x-rayed young zombies[;)]

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Offline Bored chemist

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« Reply #1180 on: 24/05/2010 19:48:24 »
Only 3 words are in the English dictionary.
Also there are many questions that nobody can answer "yes" to; the usual answer to this riddle is "what does N O spell?".
There are lots of other possible answers like "who many beans make 5?" or "what's my middle name?".
Please disregard all previous signatures.

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Offline omid

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« Reply #1181 on: 24/05/2010 21:23:36 »
Only 3 words are in the English dictionary.
Also there are many questions that nobody can answer "yes" to; the usual answer to this riddle is "what does N O spell?".
There are lots of other possible answers like "who many beans make 5?" or "what's my middle name?".

Thank you BORED chemist [:)]

but omid didn't get the answer to the last riddle [???]

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Offline John Chapman

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« Reply #1182 on: 24/05/2010 21:30:20 »

What's so special about the following sentence?

A big cuddly dog emitted fierce growls, happily ignoring joyful kids licking minute nuts on pretty queer rotten smelly toadstools underneath vampires who x-rayed young zombies[;)]


Thank goodness. An easy one for me....

A, B, C, D... etc.
 

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Offline John Chapman

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« Reply #1183 on: 25/05/2010 08:45:02 »
And just to show off, I've suddenly spotted the answer to this one:


What's so peculiar about this sentence?

I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing handwriting; nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality, counterbalancing indecipherability, transcendentalizes intercommunications' incomprehensibleness. [;)]


The first word comprises one letter and each word thereafter has one more letter than it's preceding word. In other words the 1st word has one letter, the 2nd has two, the third has three, and so on right up to an impressive twenty letters long. Ta daa!
 

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Offline omid

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« Reply #1184 on: 25/05/2010 11:08:01 »
Thank goodness. An easy one for me....

A, B, C, D... etc.
 

You clever clever John!!! [;D]

What's black when you get it,
Red when you use it,
And white when you're all through with it? [;)]

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Offline Im a Geek on the Edge

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« Reply #1185 on: 27/05/2010 10:19:39 »
Hi Omid

I think you might have already given us this puzzle. So I don't know why it's not been answered quicker.

The answer, I believe, is COAL.

 [;D]

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Offline omid

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« Reply #1186 on: 27/05/2010 17:56:49 »
Hi Omid

I think you might have already given us this puzzle. So I don't know why it's not been answered quicker.

The answer, I believe, is COAL.

 [;D]

THANK YOU IGOTE [;D]

Omid sorry to repost the same riddle omid didn't noticed it at all maybe cz omid is getting old now [:-'(]

I can be long, or I can be short.
I can be grown, and I can be bought.
I can be painted, or left bare.
I can be round, or square.
What am I? [;)]

omid hopes omid've not posted this one before [:I]

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Offline John Chapman

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« Reply #1187 on: 29/05/2010 08:02:28 »
is it nails (finger and toe)?

Here's a picture of mine, just to illustrate the point.

[attachment=12137][attachment=12137]
 

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Offline RD

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« Reply #1188 on: 29/05/2010 08:19:41 »
Amateur ! ...

[attachment=10260]
« Last Edit: 29/05/2010 08:44:45 by RD »

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Offline omid

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« Reply #1189 on: 29/05/2010 10:53:46 »
is it nails (finger and toe)?

Here's a picture of mine, just to illustrate the point.

[attachment=12137][attachment=12137]
 

Thank you John but omid very sure thats NOT your foot [:(!]

An iron horse with a flaxen tail.
The faster the horse runs,
the shorter his tail becomes.
What is it? [;)]

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Offline John Chapman

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« Reply #1190 on: 09/06/2010 08:21:28 »
We're all stumped on this one. I think you'd better give us a clue because this threads ground to a halt.

Go on, Omid

Give us a clue
Give us a clue
Give us a clue

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Offline omid

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« Reply #1191 on: 10/06/2010 14:26:49 »
We're all stumped on this one. I think you'd better give us a clue because this threads ground to a halt.

Go on, Omid

Give us a clue
Give us a clue
Give us a clue


omid give you the answer John [:)]

its a Needle and a thread [;)]

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Offline omid

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« Reply #1192 on: 10/06/2010 14:30:44 »
Dark with white markings,
And smooth like a rock.
Where learning occurs,
I help convey thought.
What am I? [;)]

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Offline SeanB

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« Reply #1193 on: 10/06/2010 19:20:32 »
A blackboard!


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Offline omid

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« Reply #1194 on: 11/06/2010 18:28:41 »
A blackboard! + CHALK

Thank You SeanB [:)]

What has six faces,
But does not wear makeup.
It also has twenty-one eyes,
But cannot see?  [;)]

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Offline John Chapman

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« Reply #1195 on: 11/06/2010 20:52:23 »
I could gamble on the answer to that [;D]
 

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Offline omid

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« Reply #1196 on: 12/06/2010 19:05:20 »
I could gamble on the answer to that [;D]
 

YOU clever clever John!!!!!!!!! [;D] [;D] [;D]

We capture light, and yet we don't.
We reflect rays of sun, and yet we don't.
Without us all the world is gray and dull for everyone.
What are we? [;)]

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Offline John Chapman

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« Reply #1197 on: 14/06/2010 23:30:07 »
Oooo, they're getting tricky.

At first I thought it might be 'eyes', then I thought maybe a rainbow or even a colour camera but none of those really fit. This one's definately superhero-proof.  [:)]
 

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Offline omid

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« Reply #1198 on: 16/06/2010 07:56:07 »
colour  

Thank you John [:)]

There are 2 cops parked along a one-way street looking for traffic violations.
They spot a taxi driver going in the wrong direction, yet they do nothing.
Why? [;)]

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Offline imatfaal

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« Reply #1199 on: 16/06/2010 11:51:01 »
He is walking? 
There’s no sense in being precise when you don’t even know what you’re talking about.  John Von Neumann

At the surface, we may appear as intellects, helpful people, friendly staff or protectors of the interwebs. Deep down inside, we're all trolls. CaptainPanic @ sf.n